Author's note: Work really is kicking my ass and sadly updates have slowed down, but I am still here! In the meantime, I've also started a less serious AU fic, something to write when I don't have the spoons to create anything meaningful for Snapshots, but I still want to write, and in a more light-hearted tone. Feel free to check it out on my profile here (People from Lizzie's Bar discord telling me to advertise it can't be wrong!):
As for Snapshots – I realised that I'm getting very close to the point of where I want to set it up for my post-ending fic, so I might keep Snapshots for shorter, cutesy ideas, while the bigger narrative is kept separated. Please check my profile for more works if you don't see an update on Snapshots for some time!
This chapter is NSFW.
And my heart caught fire
Even though I was dying, I've never felt more alive than I did thanks to Judy. Wouldn't exactly call myself religious, but even with all the curses Night City threw my way, I still felt blessed. Makes me sound like I'm a gonk, I know.
Whenever I looked at her, sleeping next to me, I forgot about death for those few sweet moments. I wanted to reach out and tuck her unruly, neon hair behind her ear, but I was too scared I might wake her up. At least one of us could get some rest, and I didn't want to interrupt that. I didn't want her to stir from her sleep and see the sorry state I was in. I held in as many coughs as I could and used my pillow to muffle the rest. Blood again. Not a good sign.
"You know, those sleepovers would be really cute, if it weren't for me having to play the fuckin' chaperon every god damn time," and here he was again, sitting with his back to the edge of the bed.
"No one's asked you to do that, y'know," I quipped, "It's not like we need one."
"Don't have to tell me that, V. Just wish there was some popcorn in that frying head of yours."
"Way to be a creep, Johnny."
"Maybe if you actually started working on a solution that can get us both out of this mess..."
"Things aren't in place just yet. We can't go storming Arasaka with any hope of getting to Mikoshi without some proper preparation," I sighed and shifted to lie on my back, as quietly and gingerly as I could. Looking at Judy while talking to him in my thoughts just didn't feel right.
"I know, it's not like you don't keep me updated on an hourly basis like I'm some corpo boss of yours," he scoffed, glancing over his shoulder. After a moment of silence hanging between us, he looked ahead again and lowered his voice, "Guess I just didn't expect that."
"Expect what, exactly?" I asked, feeling my jaw clench. I was already preparing for him to get all self-righteous. Something, something corpos, something something hate this city. Somehow, he'd weave himself into it even further. I was running out of patience. This really wasn't the time for shit like that.
"A merc with your thirst for blood and glory? With your kill count? To have cozy, cutesy times with a slightly clingy output... I didn't expect that," he was mocking me, and I could feel it in his every word. But was he really? I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose.
He was still waiting for me to say something, I could see his fingers twitch, as if he were aching for a cigarette. Was that impatience my own, or did I catch him somewhere he'd never allow himself to be seen? Suddenly, it made sense.
"I get it. We'll get to Alt soon," I simply said, and no reply came from him. I glanced to my left, and there was no rockerboy by the side of my bed. The man wouldn't back down from facing Adam Smasher with his bare hands, but my occasional empathy scared the shit out of him. I was glad it still worked.
I felt Judy's hand wrap around my waist, so I glanced to my right to see her, barely awake, propped on one arm and giving me one of those half-smiles. I could feel the tension of having to deal with Johnny leave me, as a definitely more positive sensation took its place. And maybe melted my heart. Just a little. In a good way.
I hesitated for a moment. Should probably say something, greet her, anything. Instead I just looked into her eyes and saw her glance down at my lips. That was an idea better than words, for sure. We kissed and my hand found its way to her hip. She rested her forehead against mine when we parted for a moment, "Morning," she smiled and chuckled, "Saw you all frowning and knew I couldn't let you stay that way. Rough night?" I could feel her hand slowly caress my arm and side, it was almost like a natural painkiller.
"I'm alright," I replied out of reflex, even though we both knew I wasn't fucking alright. She gave me one of her stares, you know, the one where she knows I was trying to bullshit her, "I just couldn't sleep," I admitted and shrugged, then leaned in to hide my face in the crook of her neck.
My answer must have been enough because she sighed and hugged me close, "You'll be fine. We'll be fine. Whatever crazy plan you're trying to cook up, as long as it does get us out of this city, we'll be fine," she tried her best to sound reassuring, but it felt like it wasn't just me she was trying to comfort.
Every time we were at that point, I felt like a complete asshat, leading her on. Especially after what happened to Evelyn, me heading into an early grave just felt like I was playing a cruel joke on Judy. And yet, for some reason, we couldn't stay away from each other. I didn't want to think about death, I didn't want Judy to think about it either.
"We will be. But we can't talk about it here. My enemies will hear us and the whole plan will go to shit," I said, full deadpan, looking up from my hideout in the crook of her neck.
She raised her brows and gave me a look of mild confusion, "You got bonked in the head again, mi calabacita?"
"Nope, I was gonna say we grab a shower," I grinned and reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, "Water running and all," I added with a shrug, rolling onto my back again. I was about to get out of bed when I felt Judy climb over me. 'Cept she didn't go further, just straddled me. Whenever we were in that position, with her legs on either sides of mine and her backside resting on my thighs... It was an instant turn on for me, and I was not even going to make any attempts at denying that.
My dumb expression must have amused her enough to make her grin. Her skin felt so soft under my hands, I idly moved my thumb across the tattoo of a stocking on her leg. It was a really good tattoo...
"Oh, no, no no, Judy to V. Come in, don't go floating away somewhere, stay with me here," she put her hand on my cheek, causing me to look up at her, tearing me away from my thoughts. Thoughts that sometimes no longer felt like they were mine.
But whenever I looked at her, and I saw that concern in her beautiful hazel eyes, I knew who I was, and where I was. I knew what I had to do to stay that way. Or at least try my damn best. She was my tether.
I sat up, placing my hands on the twin seahorse tattoos on her lower back, just above the hem of her blue and purple shorts.
"I'm here, Jude," I whispered, feeling my heartbeat pick up under her intense gaze. Her hands moved from my shoulders to my cheeks. They were burning, I knew I was blushing like some teenager, but that didn't matter to me. She made me feel comfortable, just by being there. I had no secrets from her. Not any more.
When I saw Judy lean in closer, I closed my eyes, so I could savour the touch of her lips on mine again. If there was some kind of a god out there somewhere, at some point, they did a great job bringing my girl into this world. Her kisses were soft and affectionate.
Patient, but only for the time being, since neither of us really wanted to break the contact. I felt her reach for the clasp of my bra as she captured my bottom lip and gave it a playful, suckling nibble. Oh, I knew what that meant. The shower could wait.
For now, the most pressing matter I had to attend to was keeping my hands on Judy's skin, tracing every line of every tattoo with my fingers at first, then with my lips, finally with my tongue.
Everything about her was like a dream, even the taste of sleep that lingered on her skin after a night of both of us being extremely cuddly with each other. If anyone had a chance to observe us, let's say, from a shrink's point of view, they'd say we were pretty crazy about each other. Almost to the point where I was her drug and she was mine.
I was her escape from the harsh, cruel reality of Night City. From the failure to protect, from the fear of losing someone again, the despair of being on your own again, because you weren't enough or because you didn't do enough. With me, she could forget about all that, and when we gave into lust, none of those fears mattered. With me, she didn't have to be afraid. Quite the contrary, she knew exactly what could happen, and at times made the important decisions on how it was going to go. Knowing and feeling that she felt comfortable enough with me to exert that kind of control filled me with a special kind of pride. The one that no one could possibly call a bad thing.
She was my ultimate painkiller. Dorph, Black Lace, they had nothing, absolutely nothing on the way Judy managed to make my head feel clear and light. It was as if that fuckin' brain-eating chip in my head was put on hold whenever we were close, especially intimately so. The first few times we made love I had a sense of dread in the back of my head. What if I suddenly had a nosebleed in the middle of a kiss, or something equally disgusting, like coughing up blood because of a Relic malfunction...? Somehow, Judy Alvarez had the superpower of making me feel like I was not just the luckiest woman alive, but also a relatively healthy one.
Of course, we didn't need any of the aforementioned excuses to start a good, sweaty tumble, but to say we were simply sating a basic need would be insulting. We were learning each other, too. Sometimes in the most surprising of ways.
The way Judy bit on my lip that morning was a hint in itself. She kept straddling me until we were both topless, then put her hands on my shoulders to push me down onto the bed. I didn't resist. She removed my panties and her shorts, then straddled me again, grabbing my hands at the wrists to put them above my head before she lowered herself onto me again, our bodies sliding against each other as our mouths and tongues clashed, showing just how much in tune we were at that moment. She wanted me and she wasn't going to wait. And I was completely hers, ready and eager for anything she had in mind.
"Fuck, V," she moved away for a moment, licking her lips to break a chain of saliva that still kept our mouths connected in a messy kind of way. The way her voice sounded in that moment was enough to assure me I was going to need a change of sheets after this, and my fault in that just became more considerable.
I looked into Judy's eyes, we were both drunk with lust at that moment. I raised my brows, choosing to remain silent, giving her the space to act if she wanted to take it. And she did. With my wrists still pinned, she kissed me again, biting on my lip, to then lick and suckle on it for a moment. She then moved with her kisses to my neck, eliciting ragged breaths, along with throaty moans. I could feel her lips on one spot for a longer moment. That'd leave a mark, for sure. And yet I couldn't help but smirk.
Many would see such practices as juvenile, but I knew she wanted to let the world know I was hers, and I was glad to show it to everyone. Besides, sometimes the gangoons I was facing were so thrown off by a mere hickey, wondering whether it was a tattoo or a new cyberware port that was healing that their expressions alone were worth it. I know for sure that even Wakako stared at it once. And she wanted to ask, oh she wanted to ask so bad, but instead she sipped her tea and judged me for having a sex life.
Back in reality, Judy pulled my hands down a bit so she could lower herself to my breasts and torture me further. It was the most delightful torture, at that, but the arousal I was building up... I could only hope that she was going to do something about that, eventually. I didn't mind a bit of teasing at all, not when I could glance down at her and see her hazel eyes almost darkened with need, while she had me exactly where and how she wanted.
I could tell she was deeply enjoying my vulnerable expression, drinking in every moan, every little whimper that came from my throat, as well as my helpless expression with my lips slightly parted and my brows raised in an almost pleading manner.
Judy repositioned herself slightly, straddling one of my legs, I moved to bend it so she had something to grind on. Selfishly speaking, I wanted to feel just how wet she was, but knowing she could just grind against my thigh made me feel even hotter in the entire situation.
It turned out this was exactly what she wanted, and it was my turn to hear and delight myself in the way Judy expressed her pleasure through sound. Fuck, I loved for the way her voice cracked mid-moan and her eyelids fluttered at the particularly stimulating touches.
For a few tantalizing moments, I watched Judy move against my thigh, but I could tell this wasn't enough for her. She wanted more. I licked my lips, keeping eye contact with my woman for as much as it was possible for us in this haze of need.
She let go of my hands only for a moment to put her knees against my upper arms in a way that disallowed me to move up. I sank into the mattress with sheer delight. So that was on her mind... My forearms were still free to roam. Or, well, I could wrap them around her thighs as she moved her wetness closer and closer until she was comfortably settled above me, looking down into my eyes from above, her chest moving quickly.
I pulled her against my lips and my tongue poked out as far as it physically could to taste her keep at it, lapping up all she had for me like a good kitten. Maybe it was the tattoo below her abdomen that served as a subliminal instruction... or more likely I just absolutely fucking loved the way Judy tasted on my tongue.
She grabbed my head and pulled it closer, moving her hips, building up a rhythm. It became more impatient as time passed, with the of us too busy giving into basic instincts to notice or care. I wanted to close my eyes and focus on pleasuring her, but I couldn't just deprive myself of the sight of her, slowly but surely losing it. She arched her back and reached up with one hand to touch her breast. Her moans were telling me a lot, I knew she was close, so I kept to the tempo we both found and didn't change anything about the way my tongue was lashing against her.
"Val, I..." she breathed out before a jolt ran through her form and she let out a few sweet, throaty moans, then half-collapsed against the wall, panting, whimpering. She was so beautiful, even in her vulnerability. There was just something ethereal about her in the afterglow. She moved to the side and crawled away from me, too sensitive to risk having the source of her arousal anywhere near me.
She snuggled up to me, still panting. I wrapped my arms around her and kept lazily licking my lips, cleaning my messy face as far as I could reach.
"Fuck, I needed that..." she breathed out.
"Me too..." I replied quietly, nuzzling into her colorful hair. We were going to shower anyway, "You're so hot when you do that, you know?"
"Only cuz I know what you're gonna do to me if I start," she grinned, then nipped playfully at the side of my breast.
"Glad we understand each other," I couldn't help but chuckle at our exchange. Two gonks, post-coitus. A study in hormones.
"Don't think you're getting out of bed without me getting my share of this V," Judy laughed at her own joke, I just covered my face with both palms and decided to attribute that masterpiece to her state of afterglow. She wasn't thinking clearly, that much was obvious.
"Groaners aren't just your thing, face it and live with it. Never shoulda told me that one at the cabin," Judy grinned, proud at my reaction to her awful pun.
"No regrets," I shook my head. And it was true, I had none. Not even one, never. I lived for this woman, and being with her like this... seeing her cheeks puffed up in that lovely smile, her hair all tussled and matted from our tumble, feeling her hand sneak from my abdomen and further down... How could I not be happy in that moment?
The din of Night City was much louder when we -actually- got out of bed and -finally- had that shower. We were refreshed and dressed, incredibly hungry after burning so many calories, and heading to the garage. We got into my Avenger and Judy eyed me up and down, smirking.
"You sure that brunch and beer with your new nomad friend is a good idea, V?" Judy wondered. Her eyes lingered on my neck.
"I'm too hungry to care... Besides, if she asks, I'm just going to tell her to ask you about it," I shrugged, awake and out of bed enough to be my smug self, "It's not like she doesn't know...I told her about you."
"Knowing and seeing for yourself are two different things, mi calabacita," Judy reminded me, shooting me one of those disarming smiles.
"Definitely, mi pimientita," I quipped. Judy blinked at me, then laughed, shaking her head.
"What the fuck, Val? Have you been... learning?" Judy asked, and I could see a bit of a lovely blush on her cheeks, "And seriously out of all things, that?"
"I mean... my passive translator malfunctioned so I had to look it up... and you can't make calabacitas without some spicy pepper... and then there's your family temperament..." I enumerated my reasons for the choice of word, Judy just kept giggling.
"Alright, alright.. missed one thing. If I'm so spicy, how come you didn't tear up earlier?" Jeez, she was such a flirt, I was the one driving and there she was, reminding me.
"Prolly because that's -just- the way I like it..." I hoped Panam had the energy and mental endurance to not want to die if we were going to act that way. Then again, if that Aldecaldo wanted to stay chooms, well, I wasn't going to pretend I was any less crazy about Judy just to make her comfortable. I wasn't going to hide my life away, what I had left was too precious.
