Winter On The Weekend
'Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you'
-Numb by Linkin Park
6th May 1505 - Ludlow Castle, Shropshire
It had been years since that awful day in April although the memories still chilled Catalina to the bone. To everyone's great surprise, Arthur had clung to life and pulled through. Although the Physician, a stern man with clever eyes, had said there wouldn't be any lasting effects on the royal prince, Catalina had noticed her husband wasn't the same. And had not been for a long time.
He often stayed in bed longer in the mornings, he found reading by candle light gave him blinding headaches, that he couldn't ride for long periods of time anymore. He seemed frailer, his skin remaining a constant pale shade. Yet he insisted to all that he had been restored to full health and refused to allow Catalina to send for the physician to check over him once more.
Catalina had secretly consulted the Physician time after time, but all he would say is that Arthur would take time to recover and gain his strength back. The answer drove Catalina insane, could he not see that three years on, the Prince had still not recovered.
The worst part of it all in Catalina's eyes was that he had barely taken her to bed since the illness had struck. He was loving and affectionate, but he always claimed to be too busy at his privy council or that he was too tired. Surely he could understand that only making love once a month would not bring forth an heir.
It hurt Catalina, she longed to prove her worth to her new family and she could only do that by producing an heir. Every fortnight or so, letters would come flooding through the gates; mainly for Arthur but some for Catalina. She knew some where due to arrive today. She could feel the impatience of the King and his mother who must be wondering why she was still not pregnant. Even Catalina's dear father was beginning to pester her, stating that a childless wife will not a wife remain. Every time, she took her fears to her dear Arthur, he would reassure her sweetly with murmurs of love and promises that he would not allow her to be cast aside. Besides he reminded her that Henry had still not entered the church and therefore could be wedded to a political ally to sire a child.
"Infanta, Letters" Maria De Salinas came into the room, clutching the mail. Her face looked stressed and Catalina knew her own expression matched Maria as she took the small bundle and placed them on her vanity table. She knew what they would say.
'Catalina, Duenna Dona Elvira has told me you are still not with child. It is imperative that you fall pregnant soon or else the whole alliance could be ruined. Your dynastic worth has fallen since the death of your dear mother and now it is most important that you keep this alliance'.
'Catherine, my dear, my mother always told that eating avocado was very good for helping you to conceive. I indulged in its eating myself and fell pregnant with Prince Henry very quickly'.
'As Princess of Wales, it's important that you do your duty and provide England with an heir. My son's physician has recommended that you avoid horse riding in the meantime in case you damage the child should you fall pregnant'.
Catalina had even received a letter from the Pope himself last month, relaying that she was pardoned from all fast days and that she must not undertake extreme purging in order to help her conceive.
Catalina sighed unhappily, looking at herself in the mirror. Her blue eyes stared at her reflection, taking in the dark circles that adorned the underside of her tired eyes and the way her auburn hair fell around her face.
"Infanta, we need to go. The prince is waiting for you, so we can leave", Duenna Dona Elvira Manuel's stern voice interrupted Catalina's musings. Catalina nodded, smoothing down her red velvet gown before pulling the heavy Gable hood onto her head. She smiled carefully at her duenna, her hand clutching the crucifix round her neck.
"It's going to be okay"
XX
Disclaimer- I do not own Showtime's The Tudors, Michael Hirst's ideas nor do I own British History.
Notes - I am glad to see you all enjoying it so far and hopefully long may that continue. However, a few people have commented on the length of my writing. I am sorry to say that I can't promise long chapters.
I am very busy: with running a household, looking after my son, studying and completing my degree. I will however, try to update more. Hopefully that will make the short chapters more bearable?
Anyway, onwards we go...
