I actually made a fast update! Yay me!! ...although I don't think it really counts, because this chapter is majorly short. ...It wasn't what I was planning at all, but this morning I put my fingers against the keyboard and this just streamed out of my fingertips as if I wasn't even the one doing it...so I went with it. Again, sorry its so short... let me know what you think though...I know that in terms of Mark/Roger, this one is kinda major.
Don't own RENT or any of the characters therein.
Confrontations, Conversations, and Pain
Mark glanced at the calendar for the tenth time. According to its worn pages, Roger's day was free. Mark had always found it funny that while Roger's room, style, and whole life, really, was spontaneous and untidy, he had always kept a careful schedule of his gigs and appointments. Every year, the musician would buy a new calendar, and every important event would be inked in an untidy scrawl on the appropriate date.
Roger was still sleeping, and Mark was determined to wait all day if he had to: he was going to sit down with his roommate, and find out what had happened to their friendship. He'd had about enough of how things had been going...and was a little surprised at himself for accepting things for as long as he had. He nibbled on a stale piece of toast as he leaned against the counter, and waited.
A few minutes later Roger's bedroom door opened, and a half asleep musician wandered over to the bathroom and shut himself in. Mark took a hard breath, his heart hammering as he waited. Finally, the bathroom door opened and Roger started going back towards his room. Mark quickly intercepted his path.
Roger frowned at him. "What do you want?"
Mark chewed his lip for a moment. "I need to talk to you."
Roger hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "Yeah, whatever." he went over and sat down on the couch, quickly joined by Mark. "So what do you want?"
Mark wasn't positive how to even begin, so he was silent for a long moment. Roger quickly started to look annoyed, so Mark decided to start the only way he could think of. "We used to be good friends, you know...what happened?"
Roger stared at him, and he actually looked at a loss for words, so Mark continued.
"After Mimi, everything changed...and don't pretend like it hasn't. I don't know what I ever did to make you act so...well the only word that really explains it- cruelly to me... and I just want to understand what's going through your head." he said haltingly.
Roger was silent for a long moment, and Mark quietly searched his eyes. For a moment, he was sure that he saw something that looked almost like guilt shining in those green irises, but he couldn't be sure. At a length, Roger spoke.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mark...I admit that we don't spend so much time together, and I get angry a lot...but that doesn't mean shit... You know, I think you're just wanting too much attention..." He said slowly, his tone strangely gentle in comparison to his words. He stood up and turned away from former best friend. "People change...I wish you'd just stop whining about it and live your own life...I gotta go, I need to practice for a gig tonight." with that he went into his room and shut the door, Mark wincing at the sound of the lock clicking.
Mark found himself getting up and going up to the roof. He climbed up on the ledge, and sat with his legs dangling over the side. He needed to think.
He lied...he doesn't have a gig tonight. I want attention? How fucking ridiculous can he get? ...Why won't he just explain things to me? Why the fuck does he hate me so much? ...Why does he not even care that he's so mean? Why can't he just understand that I miss the way things used to be...and I just want it to go back?
Mark sighed, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees as he stared out at the street. For the longest time, he'd been forcing himself to ignore how Roger had become. He'd forced himself to let it roll over him, to make himself angry if he had to feel anything...but he had to admit, at the end of the day...he was more hurt than anything else. Roger had been his best friend...for years. He'd never been the most amazing friend...sometimes he'd been a downright bad friend...but he'd never intentionally hurt him the way he was now. Something about that was not only painful, it was crippling. His friend...was being cruel, was hurting him, and seemed to be perfectly fine with it.
For the first time, Mark acknowledged just how much he hurt...just how upset Roger was making him. He sat up on the roof for a few hours, and just let go.
LINELINELINELINELINE
Mark climbed through the window, going straight for Roger who was sitting on the counter, eating dry cereal out of the box. He'd had a long time to think about things, and he'd reached a conclusion: living in the loft with someone who only caused him frustration and pain...was just plain unhealthy. He wasn't positive on how he'd do it without an income...but he was sure that Reye and Marshall would let him live there until he found a place.
Roger looked up at him, obviously annoyed. "What do you want now?"
Mark firmed his resolve. "I think that its a good idea for me to move out...probably early next week."
Mark watched Roger's eyes widen and then quickly narrow. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I'm going to find my own place..."
Roger made a disgusted sound. "Oh thats a brilliant idea. You're paranoid and lonely with a roommate, you're really going to do well on your own." he scoffed. "What the fuck is your problem, Mark? My girlfriend just fucking died, I take a little while to recover and immediately you're ready to leave? You're really fucking weak, you know that?" Mark just watched in silent stupor as Roger seemed to get angrier and angrier, his voice rising to a shout. "This is honestly one of the stupidest ideas you've ever had. You don't even have a goddamn job, how are you expecting to pay for a place? You're pathetic. You'll never make it on your own. Just get over yourself and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!"
"Why are you...reacting like this? I thought you'd be happy I was leaving." Mark said softly.
Roger rolled his eyes. "You are an asshole, Mark. And you're fucking stupid. Learn to plan things out, you can't leave...you'd never make it. ...Just drop it, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Fucking moron."
He shoved himself off the table and stormed over to his room, slamming his door shut.
Mark collapsed against the table as he ran the argument over in his head...and tried to decide what it had meant.
Fuck this...I'm going to go see Reye...maybe see if Marshall's busy. I just need to get out.
LINELINELINELINELINELINE
I meant to add a lot more onto this chapter...its so goddamn short...but I feel like posting it now. ...After this, time is going to pass quickly for a couple chapters. I need to get this thing going.
Lo siento, but don't expect an update this soon from me again...but once again, if I take longer than a month, go ahead and bitch me out...and I know you will ;P
PS: I already know exactly what I'm going to do with this story and where I'm taking it...I already have a bunch of it written, actually...just way ahead. ...however, I love reading people's suggestions and ideas, they're amusing...and usually rather creative. So don't feel shy about letting me know what you think should happen.
