So glad that I'm keeping you all guessing . I'm actually keeping myself guessing…well kinda. I know what I'm going to do eventually, I have a lot of the climax and finish of the story already written…but from this point until that point, I'm kind of clueless…so I'm just going to wing it for a few chapters.

I don't own RENT…I can't even pay my rent…

Stepping Off an Edge

"Are you sure? That's an awful lot…its still not too late to turn back and live out your normal life…Are you sure of the risks?"

Mark smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure…all or nothing."

Reye nodded and then, with a grin, she turned over the cards in her hand. "Two pair, Sweettooth! How do you feel now?" she declared proudly.

Mark bit his lip, "Oh, I don't know…" before turning over his cards revealing a straight flush. "Pretty damn good, I guess!"

Reye looked at him in surprise as he beamed at her. "You bastard!" she laughed. "Well…you bankrupted me."

Mark laughed. "Guess so…good thing we were playing with sugar packets."

Reye laughed, seizing a packet from the pile and popping it in her mouth, paper and all.

"Sick." Mark scolded slightly.

"The paper keeps the sugar from coming out all at once, it's a little bit of sweetness at a time…mmm, I think its nummy." She explained with a mischievous grin.

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Okay, you enjoy yourself."

"Want to play again? …I think I have some buttons around here we can use, or we can just split the sugar packets again." She offered as she shuffled the cards.

He agreed and they divvied up the sugar packets to play again. As they went through a few more hands they chatted for a while, until an inexplicable moment of silence passed over them. As Mark sifted through his sugar packets, counting them absently as he waited for Reye to make her bet, she suddenly looked at him.

"So Tyler is having a get-together at his place Thursday night. Marshall and I are going. Care to join?" she asked, her tone denoting her oddly cautious attitude.

"That's a switch. Tyler is having the party instead of Tank or Canvas?" Mark asked, slightly surprised.

Reye popped her gum, her hand finding its way to her curly hair. "Well, actually, Tyler has things at his place a lot…only a few select friends."

Mark frowned, a feeling of hurt going through him. I thought Tyler and I were pretty good friends… Before he could say anything though, Reye continued.

"He started asking me to invite you to them weeks ago…I tell him that I do." She ran her fingers through her curls nervously. "I, uh…well, I never told you about them before because everyone there chases…I mean, its not a drug-party or anything hippie like that, but that's just what always ends up happening. That's why it's only a few people: Tyler provides the dragon."

"Oh." Mark stared at her for a moment before shrugging. "Sure, I'm in....Just so long as you're sure that I'm invited."

Reye grinned. "Not a problem, Sweettooth. Like I said, he's been asking you to come for weeks…but that was before…" she trailed off. "Just remember, Mark, no one expects you to smoke with us. You never have to if you don't want to…I just want you to be prepared for a lot of people using all around you."

He faked a smile. "Got it."

LINELINELINELINE

Roger was drinking coffee, his nose buried in a book. Mark kept glancing at him, willing him to acknowledge his presence as he walked around the loft, getting ready for the… "get-together".

Finally, he finished tying his shoes, and stood near the couch where Roger was sitting as he buttoned his jacket. It wasn't really cool enough to be wearing his jacket like that, but he was, in a way, stalling.

Come on, Roger…say something…acknowledge me. Just notice that I'm here…please.

He needed something from Roger, some sign that his friend still cared for him, even a tiny bit. Mark wasn't even fully aware of why he needed Roger to care so much at that exact moment, didn't consciously know that he was on an edge and Roger was the only one who could stop him from stepping off. He just knew that he needed Roger to care.

After all, one time…was just one time. He'd been upset, and it'd actually helped. He didn't regret it, even now…but to do it again? He wasn't sure…but that feeling! God, that feeling had been…amazing.

He had plenty of reasons to want to do it again…he just needed a reason to not want to, even if he wasn't fully aware that he was seeking this reason in Roger.

"I'm going out now, Roger…" he paused for a moment, but his roommate made no response. "I'll uh…see you later." He stood for a moment before sighing and walking out.

Fuck, I hate that I care so much when he cares so little. He wouldn't even look at me…

LINELINELINELINELINE

"Mark. …Mark!"

Mark snapped to attention at the hand waving in front of his face. "Huh? …what?"

Reye laughed. "Do. You. Want. Another. Hit?" she enunciated carefully.

Mark looked at the foil and straw in Reye's hands and nodded. "Yeah."

Reye helped him take a hit before passing it on. Mark leaned back against a warm chest and sighed, Marshall absently stroking his arm as Mark sat between his spread legs.

He looked over at Lillia who was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling as she spoke to no one. She was dictating her philosophies on death and the after life, not caring that no one was participating in the conversation with her, just speaking continuously. Mark listened to it for a while before turning to Tyler who was telling a joke to Canvas and Reye. Like most things involving Tyler, it was historical and political in context, but nonetheless funny, and a little unpatriotic, which was fine with Mark.

In fact, everything was fine with Mark at the moment.

Marshall had shifted to tracing little circles and shapes on the top of Mark's thigh with his fingers, his attention on Anita and Nathan who were arguing, quite avidly, about which cartoon duck was better: Daffy or Donald. Marshall interjected with the opinion that Darkwing Duck was the best and promptly had a pillow chucked at him, which hit both him and Mark.

"Hey! Watch it, you guys… and anyways, stop being so dumb. Everyone knows that Scrooge McDuck is the best." Mark muttered.

"Totally does not count! He's just Donald Duck with a beard." Anita declared firmly.

Nathan laughed. "Agreed! And it figures that you'd like the miser duck."

Mark scrunched up his face in confusion as Marshall tensed behind him.

"Why?"

"Well, ain't it obvious? He's a greedy old rich man and you're a Jew."

Marshall tensed even more behind Mark, his hands leaving Mark's body to fist along his sides. "What does that mean, Nate?" Marshall asked, anger showing in his tone.

Nathan laughed. "Nothing! Just a little Jew-joke. …Don't get your panties up in a twist."

"You are such a douche, Nate." Reye rolled her eyes, playing with her chewing gum. "You know Marshall's still mad at you for the Mexican joke last month, I wouldn't be insulting Mark at the moment."

Mark watched all this with something less than interest. He didn't really care…he wasn't the most loyal Judaist, and he really didn't care about much at the moment, anyways.

"Hey, just because you guys don't know how to take a joke doesn't mean that I'm a douche. Lighten up." Nathan complained.

Marshall shook his head. "Well, fuck, Nate, it's just that I'm not even Mexican, the least you could do is get your facts straight. I'm Argentinean. …and its insulting as fuck to be called something as low as a Mexican." His tone made it obvious he was teasing.

"I heard that! Fucker!" Reye laughed, crawling over to smack Marshall with a pillow, Mark pulling away to get out of the line of fire.

She smacked him a few more times as he laughed and half-heartedly fought her off. As Reye finally backed down, Mark noticed that Nathan looked annoyed.

"Okay, so how come You're allowed to make Mexican insults?"

Marshall laughed. "Easy, she's my little sister so it doesn't mean anything… Also, I'm not white…Doesn't hurt that I'm a Latino, either."

Nathan muttered, "Whatever…fucking reverse racism…"

Tyler stood at that point and handed a hit of heroin to Nathan. "Okay mister KKK, you are way too sober for this shit. …Reverse racism? What are you, stupid or ignorant? Now suck up, white boy, and leave people alone."

Reye started giggling. "You called him white boy!"

"So?"

"Tyler…you're white."

They all laughed, even Nathan, and did another round of dragon, ceasing all aggression.

As Mark leaned back against his boyfriend, Marshall's arms a warm weight around his stomach, laughing softly and watching the various mellow conversations around him, he realized that nothing could feel better than this.

LINELINELINELINELINE

I really want to add more to this…but if I would, I wouldn't be updating for another week, at least…so I opted to get it out faster. Reviews are very much loved and, well, needed at this point of the fic. I require much feedback so I can determine where I'm going, in the short term…I already know where I'm going in the long term.