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Chapter 4

Edward's POV…

Days passed than a week and I avoided seeing Rosalie. I had promised to be her friend again, but I needed time. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do now or really how I was supposed to do it. After all this time how were Rosie and I just supposed to pick back up where we left off? Yet not do that at the same time? We were friends once, then we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and then she was suddenly gone. After everything we'd been through how could we just be friends again, that was the one question I didn't know the answer to. But Rosalie wasn't the only woman I was trying to steer clear of. I had stopped my pursuit of Ms. Kringle as well; in fact I couldn't bear to see her because like with Rosalie I didn't know exactly where to go from here.

"You don't love Ms. Kringle, you never did. You've always loved Rosie. Problem is she's not yours anymore and you're not man enough to go after her," said my other half over and over again continuously tormenting me. And the worst part was I didn't know if he was right or wrong.

In one way I knew he was right, for I didn't love Ms. Kringle. I still loved Rosalie and always had, it was like I told her she had been hidden away in my heart, but knowing what I knew now changed everything. I couldn't have Rosalie; she didn't love me anymore, as much as I wanted to fight for her why should I if she didn't want that? But that left the question of what to do now. Should I continue to pursue Ms. Kringle, she was a lovely lady; maybe could I grow to love her, like I loved Rosalie now? Ms. Kringle had made it clear what she thought of me even after the disappearance of Officer Dorati. I felt no remorse over killing him for her, even now that I knew I didn't feel for her what I thought, after all she was a lady, and he didn't treat her as such. These questions plagued me like the continuous rain that drifted over Gotham. I didn't know how to answer any of them and my other half didn't help me answer any of them. All he did was drive me crazy and make everything worse.

"For god's sake who cares if you love her? Just fuck her," said the voice as I lay in bed at night.

"I can't do that…I'm not that kind of guy," I snapped back wanting him to be quiet for once. He was always talking to me, he was always in my business thinking he had a right to be, but he didn't. I was a grown man I could take care of myself and yes maybe I had let him come out just a little when I killed Dorati that was different now. I couldn't be like him, I just couldn't. I just wanted him to leave me alone, but he wouldn't.

"You can be that kind of guy," whispered the voice the mere sound of it in my ear telling me how much my answer displeased him. But I didn't care how much it upset him, for now that Rosalie was back everything was different. I couldn't be like him, even if I couldn't have her, I couldn't be like him because then Rosalie would leave me again. She would leave me altogether and this time I really would never see her again.

"I won't lose her again. I may not be with her like I want, but I love her. I want her to be happy and Barnes makes her happy; at least I'll get to see her…we're going to try to be friends again. It's your fault I lost her in the first place," I whispered feeling as at first that other half laughed at me. But when I said that he stopped and for once all was silent. I knew, though I didn't know exactly how, that my darker half caused me to lose her all those years ago.

It had been just as that half manifested in my mind, when we had lost our most precious thing, that Rosalie had left me leaving me to think I would never see her again. But those thoughts left my mind when that half returned.

"Man up, she is a woman, you are a man, you could take her or any woman you want. You could have Ms. Kringle, you could have Rosalie if you just had the balls to take what you want," screamed the voice his invisible hands pounding my chest. His words made me sit up in bed a sudden anger flowing through me. Before I knew it I was out of bed and pacing the floor my entire body shaking as his words repeated in my mind. He was wrong; I could not have both even if I wanted both.

For that was not what I wanted. I didn't want to have two or three or even four women at my beck and call. I only wanted one woman; I only wanted Rosalie. The problem was she didn't want me anymore, that, and she wasn't mine anymore. But still even knowing that I knew one thing for sure. I would always love Rosalie even if I grew to love another woman, the love I had for her would linger on my heart until I died. She would be all I ever wanted, forever.

"Maybe I should just settle for Ms. Kringle. It's probably better than being alone pining away for a woman I can't have," I thought in that moment sighing in anger as he started to laugh in response to it. But I didn't let him bother me for long; instead I focused on my problem. If I did settle for Ms. Kringle how exactly would I get her to settle for me? She had already made it clear what she thought of me, so what was I to do?

Ms. Kringle didn't see me the way Rosalie had when we met. She thought I was weird like everyone else I'd ever met had. But how would I change her mind? Could I change her mind? So many questions and for once I had no answers. In fact it only made me wonder something else entirely. Would another woman ever love me? Would I ever love another woman other than Rosalie? I didn't know, but I didn't know if I wanted to know. Maybe, just maybe, Rosalie was the only woman who would ever love me; maybe she was the only woman I would ever love.

I didn't sleep that night, those questions wouldn't let me. They bothered me too much, all except for the last one. The last question I didn't mind at all. As strange as it seems I didn't mind Rosalie being my only love, I just wished someone other than her could love me. For even as I decided to settle for Ms. Kringle, I knew I'd never love her, not like I did my Rosie, and she would never truly love me. No one would ever love me the way Rosalie did.

"Do you have to be so gushy all the time?" asked the voice suddenly making me frown as I tried to sleep his voice forever haunting me in both sleep and while I was awake.

"Fine then, settle for Ms. Kringle, let Rosalie get away, but you'll live to regret it," said the voice beginning to laugh before continuing.

"Besides you could always pretend Ms. Kringle is Rosalie," said the voice becoming suspiciously quiet as my eyes opened wide at the idea.

"I couldn't do that…could I?" I whispered letting the idea fill my mind hearing as my other half only laughed in response. All that night though as I lie awake though it wasn't Ms. Kringle I thought of; all I could think about was my Rosie.

That was probably why she was on my mind all day the next day. I remembered everything and it was like her face was plastered to my brain. Not even the voice of my other half could break her image from my mind. And then suddenly she was there. I had stood in a hallway of the GCPD not far from my office when she just appeared out of nowhere. She still knew all my tickle spots. I should have known I couldn't avoid her forever.

Rosalie's POV…

I was angry and sad and so many other emotions I didn't understand as I moved through the halls of the precinct that day. I couldn't believe it, I had tried to deny it, to pretend we just hadn't seen each other, but it was true. Eddie had been avoiding me and the mere thought made my heart hurt. I mean, why wouldn't he want to see me? I thought we were friends again? Eddie had been hiding from me and after giving Nathanial his lunch I stomped through the precinct determined to put a stop to it. I spotted him standing in the darkness of a corner writing in that same notebook. At first the sight of him still doing things like that made me smile. I could remember times like when we first kissed when he would just stand there writing god knows what in his notebooks, but soon enough I let that slip away. Remembering my reasons for being there I continued towards him at a quick pace a smile on my face as I decided what I was going to do. Coming up behind him, I brought my hands to his sides, and not wasting any time I started to tickle him.

He jumped three feet in the air swinging around in my direction and when he saw me his eyes widened. For a minute we stood there staring at each other before finally he took my arm leading me down the hall.

"Rosie…what was that? Why'd you do that? Don't you realize anyone could have seen us," exclaimed Eddie appearing very nervous as his eyes kept moving up and down the hall. In fact he wouldn't look at me, he just kept looking around as if he thought we were committing a crime be merely being seen together. His response made me laugh which only made him finally look directly at me.

"We're not doing anything wrong, Eddie. People have already seen us together even Nathanial. Plus I already told you I'd never let him hurt you in any way, relax," I smiled trying to get him to calm down and smile too, but he didn't, he just continued looking all around us.

"But that's not why you've been avoiding me, is it?" I said letting him see the hurt in my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I've been busy…there's a lot to do around here," whispered Eddie refusing to look at me still instead choosing to admire the floor. It wasn't until I touched his cheek that he looked at me leaning into my touch though I could tell he tried not to.

"Tell me what's wrong, Eddie. Did you change your mind about us being friends again?" I exclaimed trying not to be so emotional in that moment. He didn't say anything then as he looked into my eyes his hands shaking as he took mine. I could tell he was struggling with what to say, but despite that I wished he'd hurry up. Whatever he was going to say I needed him to just say it so I could know whether to be happy or go home crying.

"No, Rosie…I didn't change my mind. I want that…I just…don't know how. After everything—," said Eddie peering into my eyes.

"What if we can't be friends again…after everything we have between us?" whispered Eddie not looking at me again clearly afraid of hurting my feelings.

"I don't know, Eddie. Maybe we can, maybe we can't, but how are we to know if we just give up before we try? We were really good friends once and I think we could be that way again if given the chance. All I really know is that it will never happen if you keep hiding from me, so please stop, and give it a try. Please, for me, for us; give it a try, Eddie," I exclaimed his eyes meeting mine again. After a moment I felt as he gripped my hands a smile slowly finding its way onto his face. And then he nodded in agreement making my smile wide again as I pulled him close.

When I hugged him he jumped back on instinct. I had taken him by surprise, but soon I felt as his arms went around me. I smiled wider as I melted into his arms, I would never get enough of being in his arms that was why I couldn't help, but look happy about being there. Even as much as I knew I shouldn't especially here where anyone could see us, even Nathanial, but in that moment I didn't care. And someone did see us. I didn't know who she was, but suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw her standing there looking right at us. It was then that our moment ended and I looked directly at her now.

"Eddie, someone's watching us over there," I breathed pointing my head in the direction of the mystery woman. When I told him this he quickly spun around looking where I pointed and when he saw the woman too I didn't miss the way his eyes widened. I was instantly curious. Looking at the woman again I let my eyes run over her silently wondering who she was. She was very pretty with red hair that she kept up in a ponytail. She wore glasses like Eddie, but they were slightly more feminine. She dressed very simple it appeared in only a white dress with a green sweater and heels. My eyes then fell on Eddie, he was still staring at her while looking at me every now and then, I knew he was deciding what to say to me. It all made me wonder if this girl meant something to him and I won't deny I was jealous just at the thought of it.

"Eddie, who is that?" I exclaimed when he finally looked at me as the woman moved out of sight. Just looking at him I didn't really need to ask; I could see he liked her.

"That was Ms. Kringle…she's just a woman I work with," explained Eddie as he took my arm. He led me down the hall into a room filled with desks closing the door tight behind him before looking at me again. I looked at all the empty desks knowing one must be his and my answer was quickly answered. Pulling a chair up beside one of them he ushered me to sit down and as I did I let my eyes run over the surface. It was just as organized as I knew it would be. But then my eyes landed on his coffee mug, the one with the question mark, seeing it made me smile.

"After all these years you still have the mug I gave you. I would have thought you would have got a new one by now," I whispered meeting his gaze. Eddie sat down at his desk chair his eyes falling on the mug a smile curling his lips. His eyes moved from it to me his smile getting wider.

"I've never been able to find one I like as much," smiled Eddie. I could see he was glad I hadn't asked anymore about Ms. Kringle, but I was about to disappoint him.

"So what's going on with you and Ms. Kringle?" I whispered giving him a smile that told him I wouldn't let up on the subject until he told me.

Eddie became silent his eyes downcast as he stared at his hands. It was clear he didn't want to talk about it.

"Nothing's going on…I told you she's just someone I work with," said Eddie looking all around the room in a flustered state.

"I can see she's more than that, Eddie. You like her don't you?" I smiled hiding all my jealous in that moment as I chose to be happy for him. After all he had to watch me with Nathanial, he wanted me to be happy; why shouldn't I want the same for him? And if Ms. Kringle did make him truly happy I would be happy for him.

"Yes, I like her, but that doesn't matter. None of that matters because she doesn't like me, Rosie. She's already told me she thinks I'm weird like everyone else always has," exclaimed Eddie clearly angry. He still refused to look at me his whole body shaking with his anger as everything grew silent. I hurt for him in that moment because in my mind that woman was a fool. Eddie was the best man a woman could have. And in that moment I didn't like that Kringle girl, for she had hurt him. I could see clearly how hurt he was. I knew too well how everyone saw him, everyone, but me. I would make him see too. I was determined in that as I made him look at me holding his face in my hands.

For a moment I didn't know what to say. I just stared into his eyes as my own thoughts went through my mind. I wanted to tell him I loved him in that moment, if only so he would know someone did, but I couldn't. But in that moment I thought repeatedly that I did. I always would.

"I don't, I never have," I whispered not letting him look away from me.

"No. No one's ever been kind to me except you," whispered Eddie leaning in close to kiss my cheek. I smiled at him in that moment part of me thinking I should move away from him now, but I couldn't. I only took one of his hands while keeping the other on his cheek. I brought our intertwined fingers to the place over my heart our eyes locking.

"I'll never think of you that way, Eddie. All those people especially that Ms. Kringle don't know how great you are. But Ms. Kringle, her mind could be changed. You could show her how great you are if you just let her see the Eddie I see. Let her get to know you," I whispered our heads moving closer in that moment. Finally our foreheads touched as all became silent for just a second as I peered into his eyes and he peered into mine. It was like we were lost then and looking at him I hoped what I said helped. When he smiled I knew it did. But then that smile fell again as soon as it had appeared.

"What if she doesn't what to?" said Eddie his eyes becoming sad.

"Eddie, then it's her loss, but you listen to me," I whispered taking his face in both my hands now.

"You are great, Eddie. If you believe that so will she. Show her the Edward Nygma you always show me. The funny smart guy who listens and is nothing if not a gentleman. Show her that, Eddie, and she will want to know you more," I whispered making his smile grow along with mine as I spoke. I felt as he nodded his lips kissing my cheek a final time before looking straight at me again. He had that look in his eyes again. He wanted to kiss me and in that moment I wished I was Ms. Kringle. If I were her I would accept him the second he offered. But I hid all that, so I looked nothing, but happy for him.

You wouldn't have known it, but my heart was breaking in that moment. For the thought of him wanting, loving, needing another woman made me ache. We stayed like that, my hands holding his face as we peered into each other's eyes. I knew I should pull away, but I needed one more minute like this with him. But then before I could the door opened. Nathanial stood there an angry look on his face and in that moment we instantly flew apart.