I own nothing. Anything hinted at in this chapter will be told of fully in the next chapter, so please keep that in mind as you review.
Chapter 7
Edward's POV…
I found myself pacing my apartment, I was nervous; tonight, was my date with Ms. Kringle. I wasn't even dressed yet when he started in on me. Riffling through my closet, I couldn't decide what to wear when his voice came.
"What would Rosalie like? Wouldn't you rather be going on a date with her…she's yours. You could have her…you could have them both," breathed my other half his voice making me jump before turning I found him almost nose to nose with me. He stopped me and just reminding me of her made me stop closing my eyes.
Rosalie was the girl that had been in the back of my mind since the day she left. I had loved her still even when she was gone, but seeing her again so suddenly had brought that love exploding to the surface. But she wasn't mine anymore. Now she belonged to Captain Barnes, I had to love her from afar, and that had led to this. To me trying to make myself love Ms. Kringle; she would have to be the one I settled for because my Rosie was no longer on the market. Now she belonged to another man.
"NO! You can have them both…the woman you love and your little toy. Be a man and claim what is yours," snapped my other half making me close my eyes. I looked at him in that moment trying to understand what he was saying. I couldn't do it, I couldn't because what Rosalie and I had had was over. We were friends now that's what she wanted and sighing Edward knew he would just have to once again settle for that. But still I knew he was wrong. She was who I really wanted and thinking of her in that moment I smiled halfheartedly. I loved her, everything about her. The sound of her voice, the way she looked at me, everything. In that moment, all I wanted was to hear that voice, but instead all I heard was him instead repeating himself again and again thinking that would make me listen. Thinking that would make me do as he wanted.
"Just leave it be, Rosalie isn't mine anymore. I'll just have to learn to live with that," I whispered turning away from him to go through my clothes again part of me not wanting him to be wrong. As I picked out my clothes finally the question he asked helped me do it.
I should have picked out what I wore with Ms. Kringle in mind. It was her I was trying to impress after all, but I didn't. Instead, Rosalie was in my head helping me dress not for Ms. Kringle, but for her. The real woman that I loved. I wanted that to bother me, but it wouldn't. I liked the thought of getting all dressed up for my one and only girl. Rosalie was the woman I wanted, but Ms. Kringle was the one I had. That night I dressed as if I would be seeing my Rosie. I wore black slacks just like Rosalie preferred. A crisp white dress shirt hearing her voice in my head as I dressed. I knew she would have said I looked like a gentleman. And I completed it all with a green sweater because green was my Rosie's favorite color.
"Be a man, Edward. Don't go to Ms. Kringle tonight…go get her, Rosalie. Kill Barnes, tell her you still love her that you still want her, and claim her again," exclaimed my other half his continued shouting not helping anything. All he was doing was making me mad, because what he was doing, what he was talking about was only making everything worse because I knew it was impossible. I was trying to move on and all he was doing was holding me back, I hated him for that as I balled my hands into fists, and rounded on him.
"Just stop it. Shut up and stop telling me what I need to do because when it comes to Rosalie you know nothing. We're over, we're friends now, and if that's all I can have of her I will take that. I won't let you ruin that either. I'm not killing anyone anymore especially Captain Barnes, but not to spite you. I just want her to be happy and he makes her happy," I screamed full on before storming past him grabbing my keys before walking with a slam right out the door. But he just followed me. He was in my mind, so I shouldn't have expected him to go away, he never did. He sat in my backseat as I drove only silent for a moment though I knew the thought going through his mind because he made them my own. It drove me crazy, made me wonder if maybe I was, and that thought alone made me grip the wheel extra hard.
"I don't get you. You don't want to get Rosalie back, you don't want to kill Barnes or at least that's what you say. You say you don't want to kill again, but I know you enjoyed it the last time. Don't you remember how you laughed? Do you really regret it or are you just denying who you are still," exclaimed my other half his laughter echoing in the air as I tried to ignore him part of me knowing I couldn't; in the end, he would break me.
"No, he deserved what he got," I exclaimed driving faster now.
"TELL ME THEN! What the hell is holding you back," screamed my other half making me pull off the road before turning I looked right at him.
"Leave it alone. Rosalie is happy and that's all I want for her. Even if it means it's not with me. Barnes makes her happy, he takes care of her, and if he does that I will be happy for her. When you love someone like I love her that's what you do. You make sacrifices for the ones you love; this is my sacrifice. All I want is to see her happy…stop trying to make me ruin that for her because then I'll lose her altogether just like before," I snapped the tears I had buried deep for so long slipping free. The truth was it pained me every day to see her knowing she was with him, it hurt just to have that knowledge, but what I said was true. Rosalie meant the world to me and so did her happiness. All I wanted for her, even when I had no idea where she was, was for her to be happy. With that thought, I turned back facing the wheel silently waiting for him to go back into my subconscious where I wanted him. I wouldn't start driving again until he did. I would not start my relationship as ill-fated as it might be with him in my ear. Tonight, I would try to pretend he didn't exist, and be the man Rosalie had loved. Maybe that would make Ms. Kringle love me too. For once, in that moment, he didn't say anything which confused me at first, but starting the car, I just started to drive as he faded back into my mind. But then he said something I never thought I'd hear coming from him. It was so unlike him. It was so selfless and in that moment, I had a thought. Could it be he loved Rosalie too? Could it be he wanted her back just as much as I did? Those thoughts are what threw me off.
"You're right, Rosalie deserves to be happy. I want her to be happy, Edward, just like you do. But can you blame me if all I want is that happiness to be with us. Not that bull of a man. I want her to be happy, but with us," said my other half fading away for the rest of the car ride.
That question ran through my mind again. Could it be he loved her too? I didn't want to think about that, it made me wonder if maybe we weren't so different, and I couldn't have that thought. Not then and especially not when I found myself outside Ms. Kringle's house. Rosalie had to leave my mind than just for a little while, so I could try to real this other woman in.
"You look ravishing, Ms. Kringle," I complimented her as she stepped into my car not minutes later trying not to think of Rosalie as I pulled away from the curve looking at her and getting a shock. I looked at Ms. Kringle, but she wasn't the one sitting there, it was Rosie. It made me stomp down on the brakes. When I looked again, it had changed back, and Ms. Kringle was there again clutching her chest. But still I was sure of what I saw. Ms. Kringle stared wide eyed at me and as I gathered myself I closed my eyes trying to keep that from happening again despite not really knowing how it had happened.
"Is everything alright, Mr. Nygma? Do you want to go back because if you've changed your mind I understand," said Ms. Kringle gently her breathing heavy as she smoothed her hair back into place before pulling her sweater tight around her? I took a moment then as I stared straight ahead at the wheel. I couldn't answer her yet. But finally, I looked at her wanting to be sure she was really there and that I wouldn't hallucinate again. When I was sure of that I gave her a gentle smile feeling a boost when she smiled back.
"I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Kringle. I guess I'm just so nervous, I've been wanting to go out with you for so long, and after so many no's I never thought it would happen. Now that it is I just can't stop my nerves," I whispered hoping that wouldn't scare her off as I looked at her. Our eyes met and only when she smiled at me again did I feel assured beginning to drive once more.
"I understand, Mr. Nygma, I'm a bit worried myself," said Ms. Kringle finally easing my nerves some and looking at her we shared a smile part of me feeling relieved with it was still her sitting there. The longer the drive lasted, the more assured I felt, and looking at her I thought that maybe this could be my second chance. Though even as I thought that I still wished it was with my Rosie. But then I looked at Ms. Kringle again finding her watching me that smile still on her face. I liked that she could look at me now and have a smile on her face instead of that usually annoyed look she usually had.
That was the last time I thought of Rosalie that night. I just focused on my date with Ms. Kringle and hoped that the sacrifice I was making would be worth it. When we got to the restaurant I ran to open her door taking her hand to help her out and intertwining our arms we walked inside. The evening went well after that. It was filled with laughter and smiles and again Rosalie nor my other half didn't enter my mind. I just focused on the woman I was with and showing her a good time. And then she said something that truly made my sacrifice worth it.
"My…Mr. Nygma, I must say, I've underestimated you. I'm having a wonderful time and I really wish I hadn't taken so long to have this night with you," whispered Ms. Kringle as we left the restaurant this time hand in hand. My other half stayed silent in that moment and I couldn't have been happier in that moment. That silence lasted so long that for a moment I was stupid enough to believe he was gone for good. But then he towards the end of the night he returned. Just as I was taking Ms. Kringle home he began to reappear whispering nonsense at first into my mind. Thankfully, he didn't fully reappear until she was safely in her house, and I was back inside my car. But by that time, she was no longer Ms. Kringle.
As I walked her to the door, the unexpected happened. She kissed my cheek clutching my hand as she did so, and then I found myself looking into her eyes. And she looked right back. That lasted an unknown time until suddenly she just simply told me that I could now call her Kristen from now on. I smiled at that as I waited to see her safely into her home and when she was I walked backwards to my car. In that moment, I couldn't help the goofy smile on my face. But the second I was in my car again I had a thought.
"I wish it had been Rosie," I thought my hands clenching at the wheel.
"Stop it, she's just your friend now. You can't be so hung up on her," I thought starting the car beginning to drive away when his voice sounded in my ear.
"Do you ever wonder why she left?" said my other half truly not knowing the reason. That question stopped me. Rosie hadn't told me since her return why she had left without a word. Suddenly that question wouldn't leave my mind and Kristen was forgotten. All I could think of was Rosalie and wonder what had happened to us.
