Hello my lovelies. First of all, you have no idea how awesome it is that some of my original readers have returned. Like, wow. I really appreciate the second chance, people, I'm glad to see hear from you. I don't know if this is worth a decade long wait but I hope it is. Like the old days, I'm still a review whore. I really value concrit and input. Plus, reviews motivate me 😊

I've finally got a nice long chapter for you guys. I hope you like. Its definitely a tone shift for this fic, but it kind of needed a tone shift, I think.

Disclaimer: I do not own RENT or any characters therein.

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Lillia

Mark couldn't breathe. He had no idea how long he stood in that room, watching. Finally, Marshall snapped out of his panic and seemed to make a decision.

"We've got to get her out of here."

The words brought Mark back to reality. He turned to Marshall in shock. "What do you mean? We need to get help. Quick, CPR! Somebody do CPR!" His voice sounded strange to him. He felt like he didn't recognize it.

Marshall was shaking his head. "It's no use. She's gone, Mark."

"What do you mean she's gone? We can still help her! Call 911!"

Marshall walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders. "Mark, I already checked her pulse. She's gone."

"We can still do CPR!" Was that his voice shouting now?

"Mark…she's cold. She probably died hours ago."

Cold filled his own chest at the realization. Marshall left his side and went over to Reye, pulling her from the bed and into his arms as she sobbed. "It's my fault, it's my fault" she sobbed, beating her hands against his back as she cried into his shirt.

Mark went to Lillia. Her lips were blue. He reached out a shaking hand and felt at her throat, but Marshall was right. Her skin was cold. It wasn't right what people said. She didn't look like she was sleeping. Her eyes were dull, her eyelids uneven, her mouth slack. She looked dead.

He turned away from the sight of her but his feet were frozen to the spot. Marshall was pulling Reye to sit down on a chair and then he was next to Mark.

"Babes…babes, come on. We have to get her out of here. We have to get her out of the apartment." He said gently.

Mark turned eyes onto Marshall. "What do you mean? We need to call 911. We need to call help. We shouldn't move her."

Marshall's hands came up and rested on the sides of Mark's face. "If the cops come here, they'll arrest all of us. If they find her here, they'll find the drugs, they'll know she died from an overdose. They'll arrest us. Babes…they'll take Reye. She's not 18 yet. They'll take her away from me." His voice broke slightly but he seemed to pull onto resolve as he stared into Mark's eyes.

Mark nodded. This felt wrong but he didn't want them to take Reye. He didn't want them to arrest Marshall. "What do we do?"

Marshall's face set. "We've got to get her outside. Then we can call 911 from a payphone. I need you to help me with Tyler."

Mark looked over at Tyler who still appeared to be in shock. He crawled over to him and touched his arm that was still clutching Lillia's lifeless hand against his face. "Ty…Ty?" Tyler looked at him but his eyes wouldn't focus. "Ty, we need your help. We need to get Lillia outside."

Tyler shook his head vehemently, clutching at Lillia's hand and arm with fervor. Marshall came over and tried to pull Lillia's hand from his grasp. Tyler suddenly rose to throw himself onto Lillia, clutching her body desperately.

"No!" he cried, grasping at her face and shoulders. "No! Not Lillia. Not Lillia! I can't. I can't! I need her!" And then he was sobbing, his voice broken as he cried out nonsensically, holding onto her like they would pull her away from him any moment.

Behind them, Mark could hear Reye's sharp breaths, her sobs growing louder as she watched Tyler break down. Mark rubbed Tyler's back awkwardly, unsure how to help him, unsure of what they were even doing. Marshall let Tyler cry for a moment before he was again trying to pull him away. Tyler refused to let go of his cold girlfriend, his wet face burying into her hair as he kept crying, "Lillia, Lillia, no."

Marshall pulled at him again, turning to Mark and snapping "Mark, I need help!"

Mark felt numb and found himself just doing what he was being told. It took quite a lot of strength but they managed to pull Tyler off her body. He instantly latched onto Marshall and they collapsed onto the floor as Tyler sobbed against him, his hands screwing up in Marshall's shirt. Marshall wrapped his arms around his ex-boyfriend's shaking form and just held him as his body convulsed against his.

Mark didn't know what to do. He felt helpless, he felt useless. He wandered out of the room, desperate to escape the despair for just a moment. No one else was there. He realized that everyone else must have went home sometime in the night. He remembered Canvas and Kara still being there when he'd gone to sleep, but whether they left before or after Lillia was found dead, he didn't know.

Lillia is dead.

Abruptly, he felt his stomach lurch and he rushed into the bathroom just in time to empty his stomach into the toilet. He wiped his mouth absently, gulped some water straight from the faucet, and then went back to Reye's room.

Reye was curled up in the chair, no longer sobbing loudly but still crying. Marshall and Tyler were still on the floor, kneeling against each other as Tyler continued to sob Lillia's name into Marshall's quickly soaking shirt.

Mark couldn't keep looking at the body in the bed, so he slid down to the floor and sat next to the chair Reye was in, leaning his head against the wood and counting the breaths he took. He kept waiting for his own tears to come but his eyes remained dry. There was a hard lump in his chest that refused to move. He counted his breaths.

A few more minutes went by and he could hear Marshall whispering to Tyler, softly talking him into something. After awhile, he heard Tyler assent to whatever Marshall said and then they were getting up.

He stood up too, to see if there was something he could help with so he could have something else to focus on. Tyler and Marshall were standing on the side of the bed, looking down at Lillia's body. "Do you want me to carry her?" Marshall asked Tyler softly. Tyler shook his head, tears dripping off his face as he did so.

He bent down and kissed Lillia, on her lips, on her cheeks, on her forehead. He pressed his forehead against hers and with a breathy sob Mark heard him say "I'm so sorry. I love you. Baby, I love you so much." And with that he reached under her body and lifted her into his arms.

Mark cringed as he saw that Lillia had stained the sheets, and he could smell the waste. If Tyler noticed, he did not show it, as he held her so tightly to him. Marshall directed Mark to run outside and make sure that the coast was clear, which Mark quickly did. Tyler and Marshall followed right behind him.

Mark looked out over the street but didn't see anyone and so he waved them out of the building. Tyler carried Lillia to a nearby alley, laid her down gently, and then curled himself up around her. Marshall followed and tried to talk Tyler into leaving her there alone, so that he wouldn't get arrested when the police came. But Tyler ignored him.

"I'm not going to leave her. I can't leave her alone."

Marshall shook his head but let it go. He knew that there was nothing he could say to get Tyler to leave her side. Mark watched him walk down the block to the nearest payphone. A few minutes later he walked back. Mark was still starring down to where Tyler lay, clutching his deceased love. Somewhere in his memory he could hear the conversation he'd had when Tyler had told him that Lillia was the love of his life. His heart felt cold. The lump in his chest swelled. This felt wrong.

He started slightly when Marshall's hand came to rest on his shoulder. "Come on, babes. We need to get upstairs before the police get here."

"What about Tyler?" he asked softly.

Marshall shook his head. "He's not going to leave her. He doesn't have anything on him, anyways. I checked before I let him take her down here. Come on, we have to go." Mark gave one last look at them before turning and following Marshall up the stairs.

LINELINE

When they got upstairs, Marshall managed to get Reye to move long enough to get her to his bed. She was still crying, albeit quieter. Marshall disappeared for a moment and then came back with a pink stuffed rabbit, which he gently laid next to Reye. It only took a moment before Reye seized the stuffed animal and clutched it to herself. Marshall covered her up with his blankets, but Mark wasn't sure why because he doubted sleep was going to come to the teen.

Marshall went to Reye's room and stripped the bed. Into a garbage bag went the rainbow quilts and My Little Pony sheets.

"Do you think I should wash them, or do you think I should just…" he hesitated for a moment and then answered himself. "I'm going to throw them out. I can go down to a thrift store later and get her new ones."

Mark nodded.

After that, Marshall got some laundry detergent and cleaner and started scrubbing at the mattress. Eventually he pulled back and shook his head. "It's too much. I'm gonna have to get her a new one. Even if I got it clean, I don't think she'd ever want to…" his voice broke for a moment but then he took a deep breath and kept going. "There's a place a few blocks down that sells them cheap, I can go tomorrow. I don't think she's going to want to sleep in here tonight anyways."

Having made that decision, Marshall gently shut Reye's door and told Mark that he was going to start cleaning up from the party but Mark could go back to sleep if he wanted. Feeling just slightly guilty, Mark opted for sleep. He just couldn't keep going. He realized that Marshall was the type of person who over-functioned in times of stress or crisis, and that he would keep doing things to keep himself busy until he ran out. Mark, on the other hand, couldn't do this. With Marshall's blessing, he wandered back to his room and laid down in the bed next to Reye.

As he had predicted, she was not sleeping. She instantly turned when he laid down and latched herself onto him, her stuffed rabbit squished between them. He let her cry into his shoulder as he held her, and waited for his own tears, which never came. He felt numb. He felt cold. For about an hour, he held her as she cried, until finally she cried herself to sleep and he drifted off soon after.

LINELINE

When Mark woke up, Reye was no longer in his arms but was sitting up on the edge of the bed. It took him a second to realize what she was doing but when he did he shot up in alertness and shoved at her arm.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded, watching the spoon and lighter fall from her grasp from his shove.

She turned furious, red rimmed eyes on him. "Leave me alone!"

"How can you do that after what just happened to Lillia?"

A broken sob issued from her lips then. "I just want to stop the pain!"

He reached out for her but she pulled away, reaching instead for the fallen spoon and her packet of powder on the night stand. "Please…just leave me alone. I just need this feeling to stop. I just need to stop hurting."

He pulled his hands back then and let her take her hit. She offered the syringe to him but he rolled away from her. As far as he was concerned, he never wanted to touch that stuff again. It didn't take long for her high to lull her, and she laid back on the bed, clutching her pink bunny and snuffling just a little.

Mark left her there and went to go check on Marshall. The apartment was spotless. Reye's mattress was missing from her room and Mark realized that Marshall must have carried it out to the dumpster while they had slept. All of the mess from the party was picked up, the dishes were cleaned, the floor was swept and mopped, and the carpet had been vacuumed. Marshall had indeed been busy. He found him sitting on the couch, starring down at the floor. When Mark came over, he looked at him with eyes swollen from crying. Guess he ran out of stuff to do.

"Reye just shot up." Mark said softly. Marshall nodded absently.

"I figured she would. She's not good at handling her emotions. Shit, I don't know how anyone would be good at handling something like this."

"Did they come get the body?" Mark cringed at how he had phrased that. He had meant Lillia. She's not just a body, goddamnit.

Marshall nodded again. "I didn't go look but I heard the sirens not too long after I called. When I went to take Reye's mattress out, they were both gone. They probably arrested Tyler but I don't think they can keep him. He didn't have anything on him."

They were silent for a few minutes until Mark asked, "What do we do now?"

Marshall shook his head. "I don't know. Keep going, I guess. I don't know if Lillia had any family that could pay for a funeral. I know Tyler wouldn't be able to afford one. We could probably get enough money from everyone to get her cremated. She may have had family though. I think she talked about having a sister in Brooklyn before…"

"No, I mean, she overdosed. Shouldn't we stop using?"

Marshall turned to look at him. "Babes, if you want to stop, you can stop any time you want. I think its probably a good idea, actually."

"But what about you? What about Reye?"

"Reye's been slowing down…ever since I yelled at her about those sores on her arm a couple weeks ago. They're almost healed all the way up. You've been here, you've seen…she's been doing better." He hesitated. "I'm not her dad, babes. I can't make her quit. She's doing better…just can't get carried away with it…and I'm probably going to stop now. Probably. I don't know. I feel a bit like using right now, actually. This is just so much." Fresh tears welled up in his eyes and he shook them off. "I think I'm going to go to sleep, babes. You want to come lay down with us?"

Mark stared at him and realized that the last thing he wanted was to be lying in that bed next to that syringe and packet of heroin. "Actually, Marsh…I think I'm going to go home."

Marshall's eyes widened. "What do you mean? I thought this was your home now?"

Mark bit his lip, unsure how to explain what he was feeling. "Marsh, you know I've loved being able to stay here for the last few weeks but I never said I was moving in for good. I need to go back for just a little bit."

"Are you serious? What about Roger? What if he tries to hold you hostage again?"

Mark took a deep breath, an odd realization settling in. "As much as I don't like Roger, that might actually be a good thing right now. I'm sorry, Marshall. I just need to get out of here…get my head clear." He leaned over and kissed Marshall gently. "I'll call you later, okay?"

Marshall looked like he was going to protest but didn't. "Whatever you think you need, Mark. But if you need help or anything, you let me know and I'll come get you."

Mark nodded, giving him a wan smile before he got up, gathered his things and left.

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Roger looked up as he heard the loft door slide open. His shock and pleasure of seeing Mark on the other side of the doorway was stunted by an instant feeling of apprehension and concern. It was very evident by Mark's appearance that something had happened. Roger found himself getting to his feet before Mark could even walk in, but he stopped himself before he could walk towards him, suddenly worried that he would scare Mark off again. Mark raised tired eyes to him and slowly shook his head, as if he had read Roger's mind and was reassuring him that he wasn't going to run. He walked in slowly but seemed unsure whether he was going to head for Roger or for the sanctuary of his room. Roger took a few slow steps towards him.

"Mark, are you okay? What happened?"

Mark stared at him, swallowed hard and whispered, "Lillia OD'd. She's dead."

Roger had no clue who Lillia was. He knew that the girl who had kicked him was named Reye, but Mark had never talked to him about anyone else. But still, he knew that was the wrong answer. "I'm so sorry, Mark." He took another slow step towards him. He was approaching as if Mark was a wild animal.

Mark was still staring at him with those vacant eyes, not moving any closer. "I'm done, Roger."

Roger frowned, unsure. "What do you mean, you're done?" he took another step towards him.

"I'm done. I'm done using. I don't ever want to even see heroin again." Mark's voice was so hollow, like just speaking was exhausting him.

Roger felt his spirits rising so high he had to fight back a grin. Mark was saying he was done. Mark had come home. He took another step forward. He was just about close enough that he could reach out and touch Mark. "That's good. I'm glad you're done."

Mark took a hard breath. "I can't do this on my own." He whispered.

Roger nodded. "I know. I couldn't either. But I had you. You helped me get through it. I'm going to help you get through it."

Mark grimaced, looking away from him. "I don't know. You don't even like me, why would you help me?"

Roger took a last step forward. "Mark." Mark looked up at him. "Mark, I want to help you."

Roger slowly reached out a hand and clasped it on Mark's shoulder. And then suddenly it was like Mark began to collapse in on himself, only he didn't land because as his knees buckled Roger's arms enclosed around him and pulled him in against himself and kept Mark on his feet.

Roger smelled of stale cigarette smoke, old leather and that hair gel he liked to use that smelled like nail polish. Roger smelled like home. And Mark began to sob.

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So..what do you think? I'm going to try to have next chapter done this weekend. I'm starting to get a good idea of where this is headed now, not my original idea for the ending but somewhere close to it. Still going to be like a dozen more chapters to get there. Please Review! Reviews motivate me, even concrit ones