"Do you think it's too fancy?"
Lucy stands from her spot and smooths her dress out. It's a beautiful maroon one with lace sleeves, that hits just above the knee. Chloe helped her pick it out, with the precursor that she would wear tights under it.
"I think it's just the right amount of fancy." Chloe says, through a slight giggle.
"I don't look ugly?"
"Not possible, babe." Chloe says, pulling up one side of Lucy's hair with bobby pins.
The rest of it falls down her back, in near perfect ringlet curls and Chloe wonders how someone can get so lucky with hair like that.
"You look beautiful."
"I don't know why I even care. It's just a stupid dance."
Beca scoffs. She's laying across the foot of the bed, watching Chloe fuss over every detail of Lucy's appearance.
"You're gonna have fun, Lou. I promise."
"Lincoln says if it sucks that we can just go get ice cream instead."
"It's twenty-five degrees outside, but I guess you could do that."
"It's never too cold for ice cream."
"Alright, finishing touch." Chloe says, spritzing her with perfume.
They can both feel the nervous energy flowing off of Lucy while she observes herself, again, in the mirror.
"Hey," Beca says, to get her attention, "it's just a stupid dance, right?"
Lucy smirks and nods her head, sending her curls bouncing up and down on her shoulders. Suddenly, her eyes widen and her mouth falls open just a little bit.
"Oh my God."
"What's the matter?"
"I don't know how to dance."
Beca falls into a fit of laughter and Chloe makes a sound that is mostly sympathetic but is mixed with her own little giggle.
"Dancing is easy." Beca says, with a sense of ease that makes it seem like she does it daily.
"Oh yeah?" Chloe asks, with a hand on her hip, "Have a lot of experience, do you?"
"All the Bellas choreography. I was pretty good at that."
"Eh." Chloe says.
She leaves the room, followed closely by Lucy and Beca, who is only slightly offended. She walks over to the wall where Beca's record player sits, tucked in among her hundreds of records; mostly hand-me-downs, collected over the years. She skims through until she finds something suitable. The opening notes of a song Lucy's never heard before play out of the speaker and bounces off of the walls, filling the space around them.
Chloe reaches her hands out and Beca takes them in her own. They pull each other in close and move, so in sync, that it reminds Lucy of their morning routine. They don't bump each other, there's no words exchanged, just a familiar closeness.
"It's all about feeling the rhythm. Just find the beat and let your body do the rest." Chloe says.
"Well, I don't think I'll be dancing with anyone like that."
She scrunches up her nose and crosses her arms over her chest. Beca spins Chloe away from her and reaches out for Lucy, pulling her to her chest and swaying as the song changes to a more upbeat one.
"Trust me, Scout. You are not going to be the only one there that can't dance."
"That doesn't make me feel much better."
She rests her cheek on Beca's shoulder for a minute and she feels her grip tighten around her; reassurance, she assumes. It helps.
Before anyone can say anything else there's a loud knock on the door.
"That's gotta be Lincoln. I'll get it."
Lucy practically runs to the door. As she's been told to do a million times, she checks the peephole, before opening the door. Lincoln is standing there. She looks less than enthused to be there; until she looks up and sees Lucy's dress.
"Hey Peach, wow, um, you look…." She gives a noncommittal gesture, before adding, "really nice."
"Oh, thanks."
Lucy can tell something is off. Lincoln isn't looking her in the eye. She has her arms crossed over her chest now and her mouth falls into a straight line, instead of in its usual smirk; the one she has whenever she's around Lucy.
Lucy moves aside to let her inside and watches while she takes her jacket off. She notes that it's definitely not warm enough to classify as a winter coat. Underneath she's wearing a t-shirt and her jeans have holes in them, like all of her pairs do. Once inside, under the light, Lucy can tell she's freezing. Her cheeks are red, almost raw from the wind, and her hair has little flecks of snow all over.
She looks behind her for help from Chloe or Beca but they've both disappeared. She isn't sure what to say so she settles for a timid,
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
She turns and looks into Lucy's eyes and it's like a switch has been flipped. She smiles and her eyes brighten, just barely.
"Are you excited for your first dance?"
She's deflecting. That's a word Lucy learned from Thea. It's been used enough times during her counseling sessions to know that it's something she does when she doesn't want to talk about what's bothering her. So she drops it. For now.
"Well, I don't know if we can go now."
"What? Why?"
If Lucy had actually been paying close attention, she may have noticed that there is concern in Lincoln's voice. Concern, on the edge of disappointment. Instead, she smiles, her own cocky smirk and says,
"You're not wearing pink."
Lincoln shoves her shoulder, "You're a jerk. You scared me."
"So you really do want to go."
Lucy points it out, as a joke, unknowing just how true they are.
"Let me go see if Chloe or Beca have anything you can wear."
"Nothing pink. Red I can do."
"On it." Lucy says, with one definitive nod.
She disappears behind Chloe and Beca's bedroom door. Lincoln takes a seat at the kitchen island. She's always amazed by how quiet it can get in this apartment. Despite the fact that she lives in the same city, it might as well be on the other side of the world. It's no secret that she lives a very different life than her friends and classmates. She's watched them with their loving families, and their affluence, mostly without jealousy her whole life.
But she's never been welcomed into it the way she has been with the Mitchells. When she thinks about it too much she gets a terrified feeling in her gut that one day it will all be ripped from her; one day her friendship with Lucy might be severed the way it was with Poppy and Matteo. It's a thought too painful to bear. So for as much as she loves the quiet solitude their apartment offers, right now it's making her stomach ache.
"Hey kid, it's cold out there, huh?"
Beca walks into the room. It startles Lincoln but she does her best to brush it off. It's a welcome distraction for all the thoughts swirling around in her brain.
"What? Oh, uh, yeah."
"Something to warm you up?" She asks, holding up a hot cocoa packet.
"Sure."
She watches Beca grab two mugs and fill the teapot with water. Silence fills the space once again. Lincoln wonders what's taking Lucy so long. She's also a little thankful for a few extra minutes to wipe the sadness from her expression; the sadness she knows Beca can see as clear as day; and she's sure Lucy can too.
"Did you have a good day at school?" Beca asks.
"Mhm."
"That's good."
Lincoln likes Beca. She appreciates that she gives them their space to hang out when she comes over, but that she's never too far away. She's talented, she's heard her music, a lot, and she genuinely enjoys it. She knows just how successful she is and yet she never flaunts it, or even mentions it. She loves Chloe's kindness, and her maternal energy, but there's something about Beca that puts Lincoln a little more at ease.
Beca places the steaming mug of hot chocolate down in front of her and another at the empty stool next to her for Lucy.
"Uh, Beca?"
"Yeah?"
When Beca's eyes meet hers she almost loses all of her courage to ask her question, but Beca gives a little smirk that matches Lucy's perfectly and the anxiousness in her stomach dissipates.
"Um, so you said that the next time my mom was out of town that I should let you know. And I know I'm already staying over tonight but-"
"Say no more. Stay as long as you need."
Lincoln had expected hesitation. She had expected this to be an imposition because even though Beca offered the last time, most grownups don't actually mean what they say; at least that's how it's always been in her experience. She smiles, and lets her shoulders fall back down away from her ears.
"Alright, take your pick." Lucy says, her voice startling Lincoln out of her thoughts.
"Oh, um," She seems to think it over, even though both of the shirts Lucy is holding look almost identical, "that one I guess."
Lucy tosses it at her.
"Good pick." Beca says, "That one's mine. Just don't ruin it or you'll be doing my chores to pay me back."
Lucy laughs, her melodic giggle fills the space around Lincoln and makes her feel more at ease. She joins in with her own, more reserved, chuckle. Life just seems easier here. She's thankful to be here, even for a few days. She could use a little easy.
Beca takes Chloe's hand in her own as they walk down the street. Lucy and Lincoln have just walked into the school and they have the next few hours to themselves; a rarity these days.
"Are you ready for your birthday surprise?"
"I already told you that you didn't need to go out of your way to plan anything."
"That's nonsense and you know it."
"You hate birthdays."
"I hate my birthday. But you love your birthday, so that means I love your birthday, therefore you get a surprise."
Chloe can't stop the smile that overtakes her whole face; her eyes squint and she lets out a breathy chuckle. It still astounds her that someone could love her the way Beca does. She's amazed that Beca Mitchell, the most talented and giving person she's ever known, chooses her; everyday, every minute, she chooses her and they get to live this life together.
"So what is this surprise?"
"I can't tell you that would ruin it. I think you're going to like it though. I hope you are. Do you trust me?"
"More than anything."
"Alright then, let's go."
"You ready?" Lincoln asks, as they stand in the hallway.
Lucy looks around, there are a few other kids making their way to the gym, talking quietly among their friends. The school looks weird at night. The lights seem brighter and the air feels cold. She pulls her jacket tighter around her shoulders and nods. She doesn't know what to expect and that always makes her nervous.
Lincoln takes her hand and pulls her toward the doors. The music is loud. The bass thumps through the speakers and reverberates in Lucy's chest. She looks around at all the kids, she's surprised so many actually showed up. She notices how weird it is to see them in something other than their school uniforms. There has been such a distinct separation between school and home until this moment and she isn't sure how to feel about it.
"You okay?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, it's a little loud."
"Let me know if you want to go, okay?"
Lucy nods and backs up a little further until she bumps against the wall. Lincoln settles next to her, leaning back, looking much more comfortable in this space. After a while of watching their classmates, Lucy turns and says, loud enough to barely be heard over the music,
"Thanks for coming with me."
"Of course."
"Remember this place?" Beca asks, gesturing to a tiny run down bar.
"How could I forget it?"
Beca pushes the door open and leads Chloe inside. Chloe expects to hear the murmur of people talking, or glasses clinking, or music crackling through the speakers that desperately need to be replaced. Instead, there's silence. She looks over to Beca who simply smiles and asks,
"You ready?"
Chloe nods and takes her hand and follows her into the bar. The only other person in the room is a bartender, cleaning a glass. The dark and dingy space has been transformed with twinkling lights and a small table set with dinner plates and wine glasses.
"I know it's not the most glamorous of places but I was hoping the nostalgia would win me some brownie points."
Beca helps Chloe out of her coat and pulls her chair out for her.
"This is awesome. God, how many nights did we spend in this place when we first moved here?"
"Too many. There was something about it," She shakes her head, slowly, as she moves back in her memories of when they first found this place, "something about it reminded me of Georgia. Is that weird?"
"Not at all. I feel the same. And with all this talk of going back to Georgia, it's pretty fitting that we're here right now."
"Let's not talk about that tonight. Tonight is about you and how amazing you are; no messy stuff."
Chloe nods, feeling a weight slip off of her shoulders. They don't get to put down the weight often, but when they are able to, it's freeing. She knows that birthday celebrations are arbitrary and tomorrow they will be in the same exact spot as they are today but for right now, she is willing to let it all go and be in this moment with the woman she loves.
"How do you think the girls are doing at their dance?" Chloe asks, taking a sip of her wine that the bartender has just poured.
"I have no clue," Beca lets out another chuckle and Chloe thinks that it's been a while since she's seen Beca in such a relaxed state, "I'm having a really hard time picturing my sister at a school dance."
"My sweet girl," Chloe can't help but giggle too, "I hope she's having fun."
"You want a drink or something?" Lincoln asks, gesturing toward the punch bowl.
They've migrated from their spot on the wall to a corner of the bleachers.
"Oh yeah."
Lucy moves to get up but Lincoln stops her with another wave of her hand.
"I'll go get it. Be right back."
Lincoln walks over and pours two cups of punch. It looks questionable to say the least and she wonders if anyone has had the balls to try to spike it yet. She sniffs it and figures it's safe. She decides to skip the food because she doesn't trust the hygiene practices of her peers. Before she can turn back, Weston Dillinger is in front of her, on the other side of the table.
"Hey Lincoln."
"Oh hey, Wes."
"How's it going? I don't usually see you at things like this."
"Yeah, new year, new me, or whatever." She awkwardly holds the paper cups in front of her, "I should probably…"
"Listen, um," He steps around the table to keep her in her spot, "this might be a little weird, or random, or I don't know, but do you want to dance with me?"
Lincoln freezes. Poppy and Matteo used to give her a hard time about his crush on her. It always made her feel weird. She looks over to where Lucy is sitting, but she's preoccupied now with some of her friends from band. She realizes quickly there are very few ways out of this conversation.
"Well, I'm here with Lucy."
He looks over his shoulder and turns back around, his same sickly sweet smile plastered on his face.
"She seems busy. I don't think she'd notice if you were gone for one dance."
She looks between Weston and Lucy, silently willing Lucy to look up at her and come to her rescue. She doesn't get her wish. So she settles for a timid,
"Sure, let's dance."
She follows, reluctantly, behind him through the groups of people. She's thankful it's an upbeat song. No part of her wants to touch him; he's sweaty already and it's like his dad's cheap cologne is seeping from his pores. She watches as he makes his way to the center of the dance floor. She sways next to him while he flails his limbs in several directions, seemingly at the same time.
"You're a horrible dancer." Chloe says, her laugh getting louder with the more drinks she has in her.
"I'm not that bad." Beca says, twirling Chloe and nearly smacking herself in the face. "I think the problem is you think you're much better than you are."
"Oh really?"
"Mhm."
Beca smiles and pulls Chloe into her chest. They sway, gently, back and forth, as the song changes to a slow one.
"Thank you for tonight. It was perfect."
"You're welcome. Is there anything else on your birthday bucket list that you'd like to accomplish before the night is over?"
Chloe seems to mull this over. Her eyes are glazed, the way they always are after a few glasses of wine. The smell of the alcohol mixes with her perfume and it intoxicates Beca in its own way. She's enamored with Chloe, the way she's been since they met. But it's especially consuming on nights like tonight.
"Honestly? Ever since Lucy mentioned ice cream that's all I've thought about."
It's Beca's turn to let out a hearty laugh. She nods and declares, a little too loudly,
"Then that's what we'll do."
"Really?"
"Absolutely. Let's go."
The song turns slow. Lincoln feels her heart rate quicken and all of her blood rushes to her cheeks. She isn't sure why. She's normally outspoken and forceful; or at least that's what all the grownups in her life have told her. But with Weston she feels small, just like she does with her mom. It's the way she's been feeling more and more often lately.
He reaches toward her and places his hands on her hips. She's taller than him, by only a couple inches, and he tries to make eye contact with her. She keeps her own eyes moving. Surely by now Lucy must be looking for her.
"Are you having fun?" He asks, like he's embarrassed.
Lincoln doesn't respond. Weston isn't the worst guy she could be dancing with, he's funny when he wants to be, and arguably good looking, but she doesn't want to be dancing with him.
"Lincoln?"
"What? Oh, um, I should probably go."
She pulls away from him and his hands drop by his sides. He looks defeated. She feels guilty. She thinks, for just a few seconds, about dancing with him again but she knows what she wants/ She wants to have fun with her friend. She doesn't want to dance with this boy. She wants to do what she came here to do.
"Look, Wes, it's not that I don't think you're nice or cool or whatever, I just… I came here with Lucy and I should get back to her."
"Right, yeah, I get it." He rubs the back of his neck, straining to talk over the music. "Do you wanna maybe hang out sometime though?"
She shrugs, "Maybe."
Another small smile takes over his face and she rushes away from him.
"What was that about?" Lucy asks, when Lincoln rejoins her.
"Nothing. Can we go?"
One look at Lincoln's expression and Lucy doesn't think twice before picking up their coats and leading her out of the gym.
They're enveloped in the quiet of the lobby and Lucy can feel Lincoln, standing a little closer than usual, as she texts Beca.
"They should be here soon."
"Okay."
"Are you alright? Did he, like, try something?"
"Wes?"
Lucy nods. She remembers Lincoln mentioning something about him when they first met, but it was so long ago that she can't remember what it was. She's seen him around and it's been made known that he has a crush on Lincoln; and made even more well known that she doesn't return the feeling. At least it's known to Lucy.
"He's nice. I just… I don't like him like that."
Lucy nods. Lincoln takes a deep breath but she knows if she doesn't say this next part now, she may never say it.
"I don't think I could ever like any boy like that."
There's a pause. She feels the entire world stop turning. She's never said those words, or any like them, out loud before. She isn't even sure she actually said them out loud until Lucy's head turns, slowly, toward her. Before she can register what's happening, she's wrapped up in Lucy's arms.
She lets out a deep exhale and wraps her arms around Lucy, returning the hug. Lucy gives one reassuring squeeze before letting go and looking into her eyes. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to.
Lincoln knows she knows. She understands. She's glad she knows.
"Oh, they're here. Let's go home."
