(A/N: Hey guys I've gotten chapter 19 done finally, this one was a bit of a challenge to write out, mainly because I've had very little to inspire me for this chapter and also because it's a little harder trying to execute everything I throw into this story than it used to be, but I'll be damned if I leave this story unfinished because I love this story, you guys seem to love it too for some reason or another, I honestly didn't think anyone would want to read it period which I was fine with because as I've said before it's this is kind of like a hobby to me to try and relax a little bit, however I'm still glad that people find my work entertaining, okay spoiler alert this chapter is going to have a few stories of Native American origin, specifically about Iktomi, the real one specifically that I heard from a true Lakota elder who was telling stories of his people, so I figured I'd listen to a few of them, and I have to say they are pretty good, one of them is specifically my favorite, but I'll just let you guess which one it is. Okay then enough stalling it's time to see what shenanigans Marinette and Adrien are up to today.)
Chapter 19: The vision quest Part 1
It only took Dallas less than a minute to break through the encryption on the flash drive, he found that the location where Gabriel was being 'held prisoner' was on the far side of town in a rundown neighborhood, after notifying the police the team and local law enforcement began to search for the fashion designer, but without much luck as it didn't exactly show a specific location to where he was. Most of the houses they'd search were abandoned and all seemed like prime candidates to hide someone in, it would seem that it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, until Iktomi showed up to aid in the search. He came swinging in on his kusarigamahawk and landing with grace next to the team and ready to help out in anyway he could. "What did I miss?" He asked as he put his weapon on his belt.
"Well aside from an epic battle to finally beat Hawkmoth and Mayura to finally get their miraculous and put an end to their schemes against the city not a whole lot." Cat Noir replied as he exchanged a fist bump with his teammate. "But enough about our thing, how did your hunt for the Chameleon go?" He asked playing on the minor fib that Ladybug had told the team as both Carapace and Rena Rouge we're standing right next to him, after she'd told them however the team was in shock, sense they all knew Marinette and Adrien and all had a close friendship in a way they were deeply concerned for their safety and wellbeing, Chloe especially was concerned for Adrien, after Ladybug had admitted to this new information she tried calling him just to make sure he was safe, thankfully he was prepared for that and had Dallas use a voice modifier to alter his voice to sound just like him on the other side of the phone. She told him to stay somewhere he'd be safe so that no one would be able to get to him, even though time and time again Ladybug would inform her that the assassin was out to kill Marinette her number one concern was still Adrien, so much so that under the mask Adrien found it to be a bit annoying.
"Eh…not much better, all of those leads I had were just dead ends." Iktomi replied with a shrug. "So how goes the search for Mr. Agreste?"
"Not much better, we know he's in this neighbor hood somewhere but we can't figure out which house he's in." Rena replied feeling quite frustrated.
But thankfully Iktomi had a remedy for this situation. "Not to worry my friend, because we have two aces up our sleeves tonight, a private spell of the bee miraculous and this." Iktomi pulled out one of Gabriel's ascots and presented it to Cat Noir, who simply looked at it with confusion.
"How is this gonna help?" Carapace asked with confusion.
Iktomi was quick to explain. "Little known fact, a bee's sense of smell is so strong it can smell a flower from up to two miles away, so if Gabriel's here she should be able to smell him from this distance."
"So essentially…we're just gonna use her as a bloodhound?" Cat asked plainly.
"Well she was already a bitch to begin with so we might as well right?" Iktomi joked playfully as he, Carapace and Rena all started to laugh at his joke, however Cat didn't find it funny at all, he just narrowed his eyes and frowned at Iktomi. "Oh come on that was funny!"
Cat just rolled his eyes and just walked away from Iktomi and just groaned. "Why does he have to treat everything as a joke?"
"That was pretty funny though." Rena said as she offered Iktomi a fist bump for the masterful use of wordplay.
Iktomi didn't hesitate as he accepted the friendly gesture. "It's only one of my many talents Ms. Rouge. So how did that hallucination mist dart spell that Mr. Jones told you about work?" He asked just in case she used her nosy skills as a journalist to figure out who he was under the mask. It was also a way to help sell the illusion that it was Dallas who actually was the one who taught his alter ego how to understand the spell book's code.
"Oh it worked out perfectly, though it didn't last as long as it was supposed to, it only lasted for about a minute on Gorozilla." Rena replied as she recalled the event perfectly.
"It was probably because of his size…" Iktomi theorized. "I think that your mist darts were only meant to last longer on smaller foes like our size, think of it as using a moose tranq on an elephant, it might work for a little while but if it's not the right amount it'll just ware off in a matter of minutes."
Around that moment Queen bee flew down from the sky and landed next to the trio and just glared at Iktomi with folded arms. "Well look who finally decided to show up." She said sounding extremely bitter at him for not being apart of the earlier fight against Hawkmoth. "What took you so long to get here spider boy? We really could've used some help to search these houses."
"Well excuse me your highness…" Iktomi replied with an obvious sarcastic tone. "But I was a little preoccupied trying to find the whereabouts of the world's deadliest assassin, or did Ladybug forget to tell you about my private mission to take him down?"
She just narrowed her eyes at him again and said. "Don't get snippy with me mister, I have every right to be mad at you tonight especially now that I know my friend Adrien is in danger!"
"Which is the very reason I didn't show up to help you with Hawkmoth and Mayura tonight, believe me Queen bee I wanted nothing more than to mess up that smug little shit and wipe that smile right off his smug little face, but I had a few hot tips that I had hoped would lead me to the Chameleon and put an end to the hit/frame job on Adrien and his girlfriend, or do you just not care that much about him?" He fired back as he made it very clear that his absence was justified. "But to answer your earlier question as to why I didn't arrive until now, I was busy talking to Dallas about another private spell for you, one that you could use to help us find Mr. Agreste and end the search right now." He then presented her with the ascot that he'd borrowed from Gabriel's dresser and began to instruct her on what to do. "I know it's a bit sudden but hopefully if you just remember everything that I've told you about focusing the animal instincts and abilities of the beast you personify then it shouldn't matter too much."
She just looked at the ascot then looked at Iktomi and asked. "And how exactly does this help us?"
"Bees have an excellent sense of smell, use that to find Mr. Agreste, just remember to focus and block out all distractions." Iktomi reminded her as he handed her the ascot.
She didn't really see any reason to question it, especially sense he had been so helpful so far with the entire teams new skill set, she simply took the ascot and gave it a good whiff as she took on the aspects of a bee, it was with in that moment that she got the sent and followed the trail. "He's close by, come on follow me everybody." She quickly deployed her wings and flew up into the air and followed the sent of Gabriel Agreste right to the source.
"You heard the girl let's go people!" Iktomi cried out as he and everyone of his fellow superheroes took off after her down the street.
Awaiting inside of the basement of an abandoned house Gabriel was chained up and by his own request to sell the act he'd ordered Natalie to physically attack him leaving several bruises all over his body. She of course did this but was reluctant to do so as she took no pleasure in harming him. His left eye was swollen and black, his nose dripped blood, his lip was split and at least two of his teeth were knocked out of his mouth, if such brutality wasn't enough to throw them off his trail now then nothing would. He could hear the sound of police sirens coming ever so closer and closer to his location. "It seems they've found me already…" He mused to himself as he simply assumed the position, almost a minute later the door leading up to the inside of the house burst open and one by one all the young heroes came pouring down the stairs. "Please…no more…" Gabriel pretended to cower away from the heroes and acting as afraid as he could due to his false capture and imprisonment. "I already told you I lost the book years ago!"
Ladybug and Cat Noir quickly rushed over to him and began to free him. "CATACLYSM…" Cat cried as he raised his hand and destroyed the chains holding his father prisoner, he fell to the floor on his knees until Cat and Ladybug helped him back onto his feet. "It's alright Mr. Agreste…" He began to comfort him. "Your safe now."
They brought him up to the surface where an ambulance was waiting for them, they helped Gabriel onto a stretcher to be put into the ambulance, but before they took off for the hospital Gabriel began to ask to help sell the deception. "Adrien…and Dallas, please tell me they're alright." He begged as he pretended to be concerned as he already knew they were fine.
"No need to panic sir…" Ladybug reassured him as she patted his shoulder. "Both your son and foster son are safely in police protection."
He breathed a fake sigh of relief and said in reply. "Oh thank goodness, I was so sure that monster had gotten to them too."
Cat Noir then came up next to him and offered his own words of comfort. "If you'd like we can arrange for your son to come visit you in the hospital."
He turned to Cat and smiled warmly. "I'd appreciate that, thank you…all of you, truly you are heroes." He said just before the paramedics loaded him into the back of the ambulance and drove off to the hospital.
Ladybug looked over to her lover and asked. "Are you okay kitty?"
Cat Noir just sniffled his nose a bit, then he wiped it and said. "I was so sure that…I'd never see him again. That…he'd be gone forever, and just after we'd finally started to reconnect with one another."
"Hey come here you…" She said as she pulled him into a loving hug. "It's gonna be okay, your father is safe now, and now that Hawkmoth knows what he's up against now he'll have to completely rethink his strategy if he wants to get your dad's book."
"That's literally the only good thing about him getting away tonight, but next time…he won't be so lucky." Cat seethed knowing that their arch enemy was still out there on the loose just waiting for the right moment to strike. Around that moment Iktomi and officer Rodger came up to the two of them.
"Ladybug, I hate to interrupt your moment with Cat but…we still have a small matter to discuss with police regarding our findings from the other night." Iktomi laminated as he pointed his thumb over to officer Rodger.
She nodded her head and ended the hug with Cat before she turned to face the officer. After a good long talk with the police the heroes and local law enforcement both agreed to work together in order to protect Adrien and Marinette from the Chameleon, however Ladybug had to leave out the part about the Black widow of Churnable being on the hunt for him as well, she might've wanted to but after Dallas's threat against the team she had no choice but to stay silent. After words the police left the scene and headed home as did the heroes except for Iktomi and Cat Noir, who chose to head to the nearest hospital the ambulance was taking Gabriel to. Adrien and Dallas had de-transformed back into their civilian form so they could get in to see Adrien's father, who by this time was receiving treatment for his wounds. As soon as he saw him Adrien rushed over to his father and wrapped him into a hug and cried tears of joy, thankful that his father was safe. "I thought I'd never see you again." He cried as he just held his father close.
Dallas just stood at the door feeling like a third wheel, he also felt envious of Adrien, mainly because he still had his father, and one that had an honest career while his own would rather live a life of crime up to the day he died. Gabriel pushed Adrien a way slightly to look him in the eye and ask. "Are you alright son? Hawkmoth didn't hurt you two did he?"
Adrien just shook his head still sobbing and said. "No…no he didn't hurt us, not that he could've found us where we were hiding."
This was all apart of a clever plan that Dallas had came up with in their time apart to give the boys an alibi while they were in their hero personas. "The cops put us in a safe house somewhere in the city, which sadly we'll all have to return to after words now that Hawkmoth is after you." Dallas added a new truth, before they'd arrived to the hospital the police came and told them that they'd be putting them all into witness protection for the time being just as they'd planned on after their earlier talk with the police in their superhero personas. "But there is one thing that doesn't make sense to me though Gabe, why was Hawkmoth after you in the first place? And why only come after you now?"
Gabriel had a feeling this question would come up, luckily he had prepared himself for it ahead of time. He let out a seemingly regretful sigh then turned to the nurse and asked. "Could you give us the room please, this is a private matter." The nurse nodded her head then left the room closing the door behind her. Gabriel then turned to the boys and began to spin his tale. "Years ago…I met a man who seemed to take quite a liking to my work as a designer, this was back around the time I'd married your mother though Adrien, he simply referred to himself as Mr. Butterfly, as odd as names go I didn't question it, you see at this time my career…and my marriage was still young, he said that he had a proposition for us, he claimed that he'd discovered an ancient ruin in the Himalayas, however he needed funding for the excavation, I admit the idea intrigued me, but I wasn't just going to trust a check written out for thousands for a dig in the Himalayan mountains which may or may not even happen, especially when he refused to give me his real name, so we came up with a compromise, I'd fully fund the excavation in exchange that I oversee the entire dig myself to…legitimize his claim, and that's exactly what I did."
For some reason Dallas's ability to detect lies was active in this moment, and yet at the same time he still believed every word his foster father was telling him was true, what the hell is going on here, he thought to himself, he's lying to us, and at the same time...he's not, I just don't get it, I'll just play this by ear for now. "So…what happened after that?" He asked plainly.
"After that he insisted that we hire a specialist, one who was taught in reading ancient Mandarin, Dr. Maxwell Clearlake." Gabriel announced knowing this would shock Dallas at least.
And he was right, it did shock him, he never would've expected his father to be involved in this. "My dad?" He voiced with confusion, Gabriel simply nodded his head yes, then Dallas continued. "You actually met my father all those years ago?"
"Yes I did, of course this was back before he earned his doctorate in archeology, he was simply a student back then, a student who was well trained in reading dead languages, so I hired him on and off to the mountains we went." Gabriel stated furthering his tail. "Eventually we'd arrived to the ruins that Mr. Butterfly had spoken of, we spent ten frost bitten weeks in those mountains freezing and searching for his damned artifacts, it even got to the point where Max, the dig crew and myself of course were getting tired of digging in the snow for nothing, but he was insistent that he was on to something, that we kept searching, I told him that I'd give him one more week and if we didn't uncover something soon I was pulling the plug. By the end of that week, we finally found something."
Adrien and Dallas already had a feeling what it was they'd found, so Adrien just guessed. "It was the book wasn't it?"
Gabriel nodded his head yes and said. "The book, and something else as well, two small brooches, one designed to look like a butterfly and another to look like a peacock, we didn't know how they got there or who originally had them, but all was revealed when Mr. Butterfly took the butterfly brooch and put it on, then in an instant something flew out of it, a small sphere of purple light which slowly transformed into a tiny little fairy like creature, it called itself a kwami I believe it said, he said what we'd found were two miraculous lost by someone called the guardian centuries ago, no one had any idea of what to make of this creature or what it was talking about, until Max started to read from the book, he learned a great many things from it, mostly about the other miraculous and their powers, we were all intrigued by the idea of small pieces of jewelry being able to grant power to anyone simply by saying a single phrase, but none were more intrigued than Mr. Butterfly was."
Dallas began to have an idea of where this was going. "Mr. Butterfly was Hawkmoth wasn't he?" He guessed bluntly.
Gabriel nodded before he continued. "After that he insisted Max keep reading the book, said he wanted to know everything that it had to teach. But that's when things began to turn sour, when Max had told him he had nothing else to learn from it other than riddles, Mr. Butterfly became a bit…aggravated. He started to become paranoid, hostile, even threatened the rest of the crew if they even came close to the miraculous, that's when I'd decided that I'd had enough of him, but sadly…he had the same idea, so he used the power of the butterfly miraculous and created an Akumaa from one of the other members of the crew, he'd given him the power of fire to use against us, that's when Max grabbed the peacock miraculous and used it's power as well to create a sentimonster made of ice to counter the power of the Akumaa, but because of the battle they'd ensued…an avalanche started, by the time we'd even noticed the snow coming down it was too late to retreat, it berried everyone alive, everyone, accept Max and I. He didn't have time to save everyone, so he grabbed the nearest person he could save first, me. By the time we found the digging crew it was…too late to save them. And as for Hawkmoth, we assumed that he was berried even deeper under the snow. We thought it was the last we'd ever see him again. After that day Max and I chose never to see each other again, and for each of us to take one of the artifacts that we'd found, Max chose to take the miraculous while I chose the book, if I'd known though that your father was a thief at the time though I never would've allowed him to take the miraculous. As for why I took the book, well it is as I've said before, it's the source of my inspiration, but if I'd known how much trouble that the book could've caused then I would've just destroyed it, and as for Hawkmoth…I'd hoped that he'd died in that avalanche, because now thanks to me…all of Paris is paying for my mistake. And if I had to guess Dallas, it's also my fault that your father is dead."
Dallas just folded his arms and sighed. "Trust me on this one Gabe, neither you…or Hawkmoth had anything to do with my father's death, believe me, I know exactly who's responsible for his death, and he's paying for it everyday of his life as we speak. Trust me, I'd know about that. But that's a story for another day." Dallas stated sternly as he turned away from Adrien and Gabriel. "I'm gonna go buy a soda, you guys want anything?"
"Thank you Dallas, but we're fine." Gabriel replied with a warm smile. Dallas simply nodded to him and left the room. Dallas found his way down to the vending machines in the lobby and bought a soda. Then for whatever reason the memory of his father's shootout with police began to flash in his head.
"Why didn't you just surrender dad?"" He asked as he felt a twinge in his heart. "Why couldn't you just put your hands up? Was being a thief really that fun for you?" He let out a small tear of pain, and self-loathing. But around that moment Dallas quickly remembered what Gabriel had said about his father holding onto the peacock Miraculous. "Hang on…if dad had the miraculous back then, why didn't he just use it to save his skin? Something doesn't add up here, but…"
"Well good evening Mr. Jones…" A voice spoke up from off to his side, Dallas didn't even need to turn his head to recognize the voice of Lila Rossi. "Fancy meeting you here tonight." She greeted with a sinister smile.
He turned toward her then leaned his shoulder against the wall while taking a drink of his soda, then he said with a snarky tone. "Well if it isn't Ms. Liar-liar pants on fire, and to what do I owe this chance meeting?"
She simply giggled and said. "Alright I admit I shouldn't have lied to you on your first day of school."
"And yet your dumb ass still thought that I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between an Italian and one of my own, shows how smart you really are, now what do you want?" He replied as he reminded her of her biggest mistake in assuming that he was easily fooled like everyone else she'd ever met.
She then shrugged her shoulders and asked back. "What? Can't a girl simply visit someone she happens to care about who happens to be in the hospital?"
"Oh your simply visiting family are you? Or is that just what you want me to believe?" Dallas asked back almost sarcastically.
She frowned her brow at him and said. "Honestly, what did I do to you to make you hate me so much?"
"You pretended to be Kiowa remember? Not only did you insult them by pretending to be one of them but you also insulted my intelligence as a human being, therefore your forever on my shit list sister." He replied with a high level of aggression.
"Alright I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were that easily offended by this sort of thing, I was just trying to make a friend." She lied in the attempt to try and get him to back off, but he saw right through it.
"Oh please, don't bother trying to trick me again, like I said before I can smell a liar from a mile away, and you just reek of dishonesty. Oh and I know this goes without saying but a lie is a poor foundation in which you build a friendship on, because eventually the truth will come along and when it does, every friendship you've ever made will fall apart and everything will come crashing down on top of you and when it does, don't say I didn't warn you." He barbed as he took another sip. "Now what do you want?" He asked again.
"Oh I'm just here to visit my future husband, you wouldn't happen to know where Adrien is by chance would you?" She asked plainly.
"Oh so that's why you're here, well I hate to break it to you but Adrien doesn't do crazies, he also isn't interested in girls who tell him lies, he also doesn't care much for a girl that makes a promise she can't keep. For example, I happened to know that you promised him that you'd try to be more honest with folks at school, but uh-oh…that never happened now did it?" Dallas stated firmly and making it very clear that he'd figured her out completely.
She then grinned evilly and said. "Oh I can keep my promises, almost always…for example, I promise you that Adrien and Marinette's relationship will never last longer than a year."
Dallas just grinned back at her and chuckled. "Oh that's right, Adrien told me about you and your extremely unhealthy delusion about you two being a couple, you know I'm not gonna lie I've had a few clingy girls who could give shrink wrap a few lessons but from what he said about you…your like a fifty on a scale of one to ten, which is really saying something sister." He said with a smug grin. "Here's a little advice Lila, give up…Adrien will never love you, not as long as he knows what kind of person you are."
That's when Lila began to growl at him. "If you don't stop bad mouthing me your going to regret it Jones, I have a way of making that happen."
"Ooooooooooh I'm so scared, oh wait…no I'm not. I mean honestly what could you possibly do to me that I haven't already experienced? Have me arrested? Go ahead, Mr. Agreste will just get the mayor to pardon me again. Spread a roomer about me? Knock yourself out, I'd love to see how many people believe you, after I've already been one-hundred percent honest with everyone at school by telling them about my criminal record. Face it Lila, you can't touch me, because I'm not scared of you, but you should be scared of me." Dallas pointed out everything that she could possibly try to use against him. "And even if I was it wouldn't matter, I'll just find a way to use it against you and destroy you from the ground up."
"Or I could just have you…let's just say, removed from this city all together." Lila threatened bluntly.
But Dallas wasn't intimidated. "Oh please, your mother is the Ambassador of Italy to France, she can't have me deported unless it were in your country." He said with a smirk.
"Who said anything about deportation? I just figured you would…disappear." Lila threatened again.
That's when Dallas simply started to laugh right in her face. "Holy shit…" He laughed heartily. "You really have a set of stones on you to go and threaten me like that, and straight to my face." He began to hold his side because it hurt to laugh, he then slowly ceased his laughter then said. "Thank you, I really needed that laugh, especially after these past few hours. Now then…let me show you how it's done." Dallas then grabbed Lila by her throat and lifted her off the ground with all his strength, then he shoved her up against the wall and said threw gritted teeth with an aggressive tone. "First, never threaten someone who knows how to make your death look like an accident, second, never threaten someone who knows how to disappear from the radar completely, and third, never think for a second that you'll ever be able to beat me Lila because I've been doing this sort of thing sense I was seven years old and I know all the tricks of the trade! All you are is a wanna be crime boss who has no idea when she's in over her head, now I'm going to be very clear with you Lila, if you ever threaten me again I'll make you look like the most undesirable girl in the world, WITH A BOTTLE OF ACID, get the picture?" She couldn't do anything to break free from his grasp, he held her firm in his hand as she just gasped for air, she tried to claw at him but it did nothing to phase him, she could see the fire in his eyes as she looked down onto his face, she felt nothing but fear as she knew with absolute certainty that he'd make good on his word, so she simply nodded her head yes, then he smiled at her and said. "Good girl…" He then dropped her and let her hit her knees as she started coughing and gasping for air. "Now do me a favor Ms. Rossi, get the hell out of my sight before I change my mind about letting you off easy, because I wasn't kidding about that acid." He then began to walk away, but before he left the hall he turned back to her and said. "Oh…and don't bother trying to pull footage from that camera, I carry around a frequency emitter in my pocket at all times when I'm in a public place like this, just in case I have to put someone in their place, bottom line what it does is distort the signal feed back to the surveillance room, and all the guy in their saw was white noise static. Ciao Bella." He mockingly blew her a kiss as he continued onward, after Lila had caught her breath she did as he suggested and just left.
"He's fucking crazy…" She voiced to herself. "I might not be able to deal with him myself, but I know someone who can." She reached in her pocket for her phone to make a quick phone call, only to find that her phone wasn't there. "What the…where's my phone?" That's when she remembered the most important thing about Dallas, he was the son of a master thief. Upon turning around she saw him just grinning like the cat that just ate the canary as he pressed the close door button on the elevator and just waved her phone mockingly in his hand. "HEY STOP THAT GUY, HE'S GOT MY PHONE!" She cried out to anybody as she ran over to the elevator in vain as it closed just before she could get to him.
Inside of the elevator Dallas just started to laugh again at how easily he'd outsmarted her. He laughed so hard that he hit his knees and held his stomach. "Oh my god…she makes this way too fucking easy." He chuckled.
Around that moment Spizz flew out and asked with a concerned look on his face. "Dallas, do you really think that was necessary?"
Dallas looked up to Spizz and said as he wiped away a tear. "No, clearly it wasn't, but hey if she want's to play with the big dogs she needs to understand how the game works, she also needs to understand how to make your bark sound just as bad as your bite. As well as learn how to back it up." While the elevator kept ascending to the top Dallas took off the back of her phone then placed something inside of it.
"What are you doing to her phone?" Spizz asked curiously as Dallas closed the phone back up.
He looked back to Spizz and said with a smile. "Bugging it, now every time she gets a phone call or a text I'll know about it, and hey who knows maybe I'll get some juicy blackmail information on her like…oh I don't know maybe she's had plastic surgery and she wants to keep it under wraps, or maybe she's had an abortion that she doesn't want anyone to know about or who knows what else, with that girl the possibilities are endless." He said while he activated the bug on his phone through a special app that he'd created himself. "There we go…now let's just hand this off to the nearest member of hospital staff and make myself look as innocent as possible, but first…" Dallas then punched in her phone number into his phone and called her, he let it ring just long enough to leave her a message. "I hope you realize just how unique I am now Ms. Rossi, I can also do that trick in reverse, of course it could get really nasty, and the end result could be…let's say…explosive. Now you might want to ask yourself my dear, do you REALLY want to play this game with me?" He then hung up the phone just as the elevator opened up, as soon as he walked out of the elevator he saw a nurse and headed over to her, she was white with red hair and freckles wearing a pink scrub. "Excuse me nurse, I found this phone in the lobby a moment ago, could you please see to it that this gets back to it's owner, or at least to lost and found?" He asked innocently.
"Of course, thank you for being a good Samaritan young man." She replied as she took the phone off of Dallas's hands.
Dallas smiled back to her warmly and said. "Well we all have to do our part. Have a wonderful evening ma'am." He then headed straight back to the room That was being occupied by Gabriel and Adrien, he looked in through the door way to find a woman in a very sharp looking suit standing in front of the two of them as she began to explain the situation and how they would deliver them all to their safe house as discreetly as possible.
"We already have an armored vehicle ready to take you out of here and back to your safehouse, the location of which shall remain undisclosed until we arrive." She stated firmly with her hands on her hips. Dallas took one look at her and got an instant feeling that he knew her from somewhere but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe she's arrested me once or twice, he thought. She was definitely Spanish, she had long black hair with round glasses and wore bright red lipstick as well, though try as though he might he just couldn't figure out for the life of him where he'd seen her before.
"How soon can we leave? My father needs to get out of here before Hawkmoth decides he wants to finish what he started." Adrien voiced his concern for his father's safety.
The woman aptly replied. "We'll be leaving in less than five minutes, assuming you'll be ready to go that soon Mr. Agreste." Gabriel simply nodded his head yes, around that moment Dallas then cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
"Hey…sorry I took so long, I just ran into someone from school. So what's going on? What I miss?" Dallas asked as he leaned against the doorway.
The woman turned around and formally introduced herself to him. "Agent Elisa Menendez of Interpol, I've been dispatched to Paris France to over see that you all arrive to your temporary housing, and that includes one Ms. Dupain-Chang."
Dallas then felt as though that name rang a bell. "Hey uh…just a second, do I know you from somewhere? Because you're giving me a serious bit of déjà vu here." He asked bluntly as he gave this woman a once over.
"Well you should Mr. Jones…" She replied with a thick Spanish accent. "You tried to steal my car the last time I saw you."
"Lady I've stolen a lot of cars over the years, which one were you?" Dallas asked again hoping for a more specific answer.
She then answered him very nonchalantly. "I'm the one who shot you with a bean bag as I was just getting home from my evening jog."
That's when it all came rushing back to him, he distinctly recalled trying to break into a silver Mercedes Benz just parked next to the side walk outside of an apartment building with a wire coat hanger, however he'd failed to notice that agent Menendez had just returned from her jog and had made the obvious choice to arrest Dallas for attempted grand theft auto, and naturally he resisted arrest and tried to run only for her to unlock the trunk of her car with her car remote, pull out a twelve gage shotgun loaded up with beanbag shells, take aim at him and fire a shot off nailing him right in the back and nocking him down. "Ohhhhhhh…now I remember you, just so you know you left a giant welt on my back when you shot me, I couldn't sit right for a month."
"Well maybe next time you shouldn't break into someone's car." She replied as she crossed her arms with a narrowed brow. "I just hope that you've been keeping your record as clean as you can sense your last parole hearing."
"I guess you didn't here, I've been pardoned by the mayor himself, not on parole anymore agent Menendez." Dallas replied with a smirk.
She then turned back to Gabriel and continued. "Anyway, the sooner we leave the better, as long as Hawkmoth is out there looking for you your at grave risk." Gabriel nodded his head and began to stand, slowly and pretending to wince in pain to help sell the act that he was hurt. Adrien of course was quick to act as a crutch for him until they would get to the safe house. Or at least that's what he assumed, as soon as they'd gotten outside they found there were two armored vehicles instead of one like she'd implied before.
"Uh…do we really need two trucks?" Adrien asked with confusion.
Agent Menendez then looked over to two other Interpol agents standing next to the truck then she simply said to the Agrestes and Dallas. "Wait here a moment, I need to find out what's going on." She then walked over to her colleagues and began to engage them in conversation. "What's going on here? Why are their two trucks?" She asked bluntly.
That's when one of her fellow agents, a black man in a well-trimmed gray suit began to explain the situation. "There's been a change in plans, someone from HQ just gave us orders to remove Gabriel Agreste from the country all together, specifically to the united states, we still don't know why but I guess it's safer for him to be out of France for the time being, at least until these…local heroes Ladybug and Cat Noir take Hawkmoth down, but who knows how long that will take?"
Agent Menendez just began to grumble. "Local heroes my ass, they're nothing but criminals taking the law into their own hands the way they do. Mark my words after we bring in Hawkmoth they're next."
"Elisa please…" The other agent began to try and reason with her, she was German with blond hair and blue eyes and wore a velvet green pan-suit with high heels. "It's not as though local law enforcement have what it takes to deal with these Akumaas that everyone is so afraid of, besides I think it's safe to say that literally everyone in the city would rather let those two protect them from Hawkmoth than us, especially sense we don't have superpowers."
"I don't care what the people want…" Menendez fired back. "They might have 'saved' this city on more than one occasion but that doesn't make them heroes, just a couple of costumed vigilantes no more no less." She turned away from her colleagues and returned to Gabriel, Adrien and Dallas, she then began to explain everything she'd just learned. "It would seem that this is were the three of you have to part ways for now." She said with a sympathetic look for Adrien and his father.
Gabriel simply looked at her with a confused look as this wasn't apart of his plan at all. "What do you mean agent Menendez? He asked bluntly.
"Sense Hawkmoth is after you…the higher ups have ordered us to send you out of the country entirely." She replied bluntly as she felt sorry that she had to split up a family, even if it was for their own safety.
Gabriel was quick to protest. "You can't separate me and my son, please he'll be safer if I'm with him." He said using an excuse, he knew he wasn't in any real danger but there was something else that concerned him, his promise to his son.
But somehow Adrien picked up on this, he could see that his father didn't want to be forced to break his promise to his son, so he just put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and said. "It's alright father, your safety is more important to me than some dumb party, even though I don't want you to you'll be safer if you go."
Gabriel simply looked upon his son's face, he could see the hurt in his eyes that they would have to part for only god knew how long. Even though it wasn't part of his plan he still felt guilty, he pulled Adrien into a loving hug and shed a tear. "Stay safe, both of you." He then turned to Dallas and said directly to him. "Dallas…I know it may not seem like it, but I consider you as apart of my family, and I know that Adrien feels the same way…so…what I'm trying to say is…I've come to consider you as…a second son."
Dallas could sense that Gabriel's words were genuine, though he simply chalked it up to him being the one to fix their relationship before it was too late, or at least part of him did. As another part of him saw Gabriel as a true father figure, the first real one sense his grandfather's passing, he simply smiled and said. "And I've considered you to be like a second father, you know I'm actually gonna miss you when your gone, and that's the first time I've said that in a long time and I actually meant it."
"Mr. Agreste…" Agent Menendez began to usher him over to one of the armored trucks. "We need to go." She said as she reluctantly pulled him away from his son. Gabriel looked back to the boys and just shed a tear, he stepped into the back of the truck and sat upon one of the benches available. Then Agent Menendez banged her fist on the side of the truck signaling to the driver that Gabriel was aboard, then in response the truck drove off with Gabriel inside taking him straight to the airport.
Adrien then began to sniffle as he wiped away a few tears. "I just got him back, only to have him taken away from me again."
"It'll be okay Adrien…" Dallas reassured as he patted his shoulder. "Next time we face Hawkmoth it's game over for him, I promise."
"Boys…" Agent Menendez called to them both as she ushered her hand toward the other truck. "It's your turn." Both Adrien and Dallas walked straight toward the truck, but just before they'd even gotten inside they were halted when a voice cried out.
"HEY! Stop right there Dallas Jones!" Everyone turned around to see a very irked Lila Rossi marching up to the truck with hospital security right behind her.
Around that moment agent Menendez stepped forward and stood directly in front of Dallas and crossed her arms with annoyance. "Young lady, I don't know what your problem is with Mr. Jones but it's going to have to wait until a later date as he is going into witness protection as of this moment." She said with a stern look.
"The hell he is…" She objected as she pointed her finger at him. "I demand you arrest him right now for stealing my phone!"
Dallas grinned as he knew very well that there was a chance that this was going to happen, he then pretended to be annoyed and said. "Oh how typical of you Ms. Rossi, don't let her fool you agent Menendez she's well known for pulling imaginary stories out of her ass hand over hand like a magician's scarf trick in our school, in other words she's just harassing me because she likes to be center of attention."
"The hell I am you little thief, he straight up stole my phone while I was still in the hospital." Lila stated the truth, for once. "Go ahead and search him, I'm sure you'll be surprised." She suggested to the agent.
But Agent Menendez wasn't so easily convinced by her claim. "Exactly what proof do you have that it was him who took your phone?" She asked bluntly.
"All the proof I need is his criminal record, your obviously law enforcement aren't you? You have to know that he's the son of a thief." She stated to the agent.
Dallas was quick to interject as he corrected her. "Master thief, my father was a master thief, emphasis on master, if your gonna bring my father into this then address him by his correct title Ms. Rossi."
"See…!" Lila stated firmly. "He admits it, he is a thief which makes him the most likely suspect, now I demand that…" Before she could finish agent Menendez quickly interrupted her.
"You don't get to make demands of a government agent Ms. Rossi, also I have no legal right to search him without a warrant unless I have probable cause, regardless of his criminal record." She pointed out not showing even a hint of leniency for Lila.
"Oh there's no need for either of those agent Menendez, as the most likely suspect I give you permission to search my person for her phone, and if you find it on me then you can arrest me, but if not then I must ask that you have someone escort her home and inform her mother of her prejudice against a native American gypsy." Dallas stated with a smile as he out stretched his arms and spread his legs. After a very thorough check she found nothing of interest on him, other than way too many knives for one person, a deck of tarot cards and his own personal jewelry there was nothing of interest to suggest that he'd stolen the phone.
"He's clean Ms. Rossi, clearly you were wrong." She said with more annoyance.
Dallas was quick to add simply to get under her skin. "Or lying, like I said she's really good at telling stories agent Menendez."
"But I know it was him, I saw him holding it in the elevator just before the door closed!" She shouted feeling a high amount of anger. "I'll bet he stashed it somewhere for him to retrieve for later."
Dallas then grinned at her and said with a smug tone. "Excellent theory, but one problem with it, I'm going into witness protection which means I have to keep my head down for a while, also I'm leaving right now so why would I leave without collecting it first stupid? That's just idiotic for me to leave it here when I have no idea when I'm coming back."
That's when Lila just began to get mad. "Now you listen to me you little…" She started to make a threat just before Dallas got up in her face and made his own statement.
"NO! YOU listen to ME Ms. Rossi, I am not just going to lie down and take your racism anymore, now let me be perfectly clear, if you don't stop harassing me I'll sue you for discrimination and falsely accusing me of a crime I didn't commit, especially over something as stupid as a cell phone, which you probably just lost in the building due to your own negligence." He said with a stern look on his face, which slowly turned into a smug grin. "So if I were you I'd go and check the lost and found at the front desk to see if anyone turned it in."
Just before she was about to counter agent Menendez began to get irritated and just halted the argument all together. "Enough, both of you act your age! Also you two…get in the truck already we're already five minutes behind schedule! Vamos, ponte en marcha! " She demanded as she started shoving Dallas back over to the truck.
Dallas simply looked back at her over his shoulder and smirked knowing that he'd won once again, Lila just clenched her teeth and her fists with rage as her newly formed hatred for him quickly grew more and more. After the armored vehicle had left the hospital one of the security guards made the suggestion to check and see if Dallas was right, Lila of course still didn't believe he was telling the truth, but to her surprise there it was, sitting in the lost and found box, she took her phone out of the box and just left the hospital and finally preparing to make her phone call, until she saw she had a message from an unknown number, she simply listened to the message and felt a chill run down her spine as she heard the subtle but easily interpreted threat from Dallas's message. But sadly it wasn't enough to scare her as she continued to make her phone call. "It's me…I have another job for you to do, meet me at the same café we'd met when you took my first assignment, don't worry about your compensation, I'll find a way to pay you just as I have before, meet me there on the fourteenth at noon."
Back in the armored vehicle Dallas received a message from his phone bug he'd put in Lila's phone, he listened to it then he began to grow suspicious, mainly because she didn't really say much to who ever it was she was talking to, and who ever it was didn't talk back either, all he had to go on was a café and her mentioning her 'first assignment', but as lacking in information as it was he felt as though it was worth looking into, from what she'd said though he'd have to wait a while for this meeting to take place in about a week plus four days around noon. During the drive Marinette had sent Adrien a text to let the Interpol agents know that she was being escorted to the safe house by a police officer starting at a discreetly chosen rendezvous point next to a bus stop only two blocks away from her home.
"There you go sweetie fresh baked brownies straight from the oven." Sabine said as she handed a box of warm brownies to her daughter. "I hope they'll be enough to keep you two love birds satisfied on the flight." The excuse she'd given her parents for leaving so suddenly was to visit a fashion school in Monaco in which both Marinette and Adrien might apply to.
"Thanks mom, I'm gonna miss you guys while were gone." She pulled her mother into a loving hug and just held her close.
"Hey don't I get a hug?" Her father stated feeling slightly left out, until Marinette gave him a hug as well and making him feel loved.
"I'll be sure to call you when we get there, we should be back before the party." She said as she collected her bag and headed down stairs.
"Are you sure you don't want us to drive you to the airport sweetie?" Tom offered to his daughter for what would seem to be the tenth time in the last hour.
Marinette simply rolled her eyes and said. "Yes dad I promise you I don't need a ride, I was just gonna take the bus anyway."
"Alright sweetie, take care of yourself. Oh and don't take any back alleys." Sabine cautioned to her daughter.
"I wasn't planning on it, not that it matters anymore now that Ladybug and her team took down all the gangs in the city." She replied to her mother as she began to walk through the door. "See you in a week, love you guys." After she'd finally closed the door the fake smile she was waring finally turned into how her mood actually was, upset. As she began to make her way down to the bakery she felt the pain of her current situation finally starting to sink in and she just began to cry.
"Oh Marinette…" Tikki soothed as she hugged the side of her owner's face. "It'll be alright, you'll see by the time this is over you'll never have to worry about this again."
"That's not why I'm crying Tikki…" She admitted as she wiped away a tear. "I'm crying because I didn't have the heart to tell them the truth, that someone wants me dead and I have no idea why or for what reason. This might even be the last time they see me alive Tikki, and god forbid if that happens…"
"Marinette please don't do this to yourself, everything's going to be fine, as far as we know the Chameleon still doesn't know that we're one step ahead of him, which means this whole thing will go off without a hitch." Tikki reassured hoping that maybe her words would be of some comfort to her. After Marinette had arrived at the meeting point the police didn't take long to arrive with a single squad car to take her to the safe house.
She'd arrived only five minutes after the boys did, the safe house looked to be a standard two bedroom apartment, it was very spacious and very clean, which was not what Dallas was expecting at all, he had half expected the police to be extremely cheap in terms of housing, along with the entire place being a breeding ground for rats and other pests. When Marinette finally got up to the apartment she was one-hundred percent depressed and was not looking like herself. "Hey…" She greeted sheepishly as she opened the door.
Adrien looked over to her with a smile, which quickly turned into a frown as he began to read her mood. "Mari? Are you okay?" He asked as he walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, in that instant Marinette began to breakdown into tears as she dropped her box and threw her arms around Adrien and just cried. "It's okay Marinette…it'll all be okay."
Dallas simply looked upon the young couple and felt nothing but sympathy, the same could be said for all three of their kwamis, even Plagg it would seem was upset. He simply sniffled as he wiped his eyes and said. "Why can't these two ever catch a break from this kind of bullshit? Just once, can't they just be allowed to have a happy moment to themselves without a ton of crap falling from the sky and ruining everything just for once?" It was around that moment that Spizz offered him a tissue, which he took without hesitation and blew his nose into, however because of his destructive nature the tissue just fell apart, literally. "Oh come on I don't need this bullshit right now!"
An hour had passed and Marinette still hadn't calmed down, try as though he might Adrien couldn't help her calm down, not as easily as she could help him. It was around that time when Dallas chose to breakout the big guns, he went to his suit case and started searching for something. "Come on where are you…bingo." He pulled out a small bottle with an eyedropper lid, written on the side with a sticky note was a small warning in permanent marker which read, the ancestors cure for life's bullshit. "This should do the trick." After he'd returned to the living room Dallas went over to the box of brownies, picked it up then sat it on the counter, then he took two brownies and placed them each on small plates, then he opened the bottle and dropped only three drops of its contents onto one of the treats, he then closed the bottle up and stuffed it in his pocket then walked over to the two teens on the couch. "Here, I figured you guys could try and relax a little bit with a little bit of sugar, normally I'd offer you guys booze but sadly we don't have any."
He made sure to offer Marinette the brownie he'd drugged especially so that she would finally calm down, she took the brownie and said with depression clear in her voice. "Thank you Dallas." She took a single bite and just savored the sweet flavor of chocolate on her tongue, it's taste made her feel a little better about her situation. "Mom and dad always knew how to make the best brownies."
Adrien just looked over to her and saw that her smile had returned, but only slightly as she was still clearly upset. He then turned to Dallas and asked. "When do we start coordinating our counter attack?"
"First we have to wait for Val and Megan to get here, they know the way this bastard works inside and out." He replied sternly.
"Who's Megan?" Adrien asked again this time with confusion.
Dallas then realized that he still hadn't told Adrien or Marinette about Yuri's aunt/caretaker. "Oh right I haven't had a chance to tell you about Megan yet, well from what I understand she's Val's friend, she used to be an assassin too until Yuri was born, after that she became his guardian and started watching over him while Val is away on business, she's a pretty cool chick too I've gotta say, but she does have a mean side to her so don't piss her off."
Adrien just frowned his brow and asked with annoyance. "Really? How many assassins do you know?"
"Oh shut up…" Dallas declared to his foster brother. "Just because they kill people for a living that doesn't mean their bad people, usually."
"Uh…hey guys…" Marinette began to interrupt their conversation. "I think my tongue is going numb."
Both Adrien and Dallas simply looked over to her with a weird look in response of her comment. "Already?" Dallas asked with confusion.
Then both Marinette and Adrien's eyes looked upon him with their own confusion. "Wait, what do you mean by…by…byyyyyyyyyyyyy…" Before she could even finish her sentence Marinette then began to see numerous shapes and colors, she felt extremely lightheaded and dizzy, and just like that she was instantly stoned. "Woooooooooooowwww…" She said as she just looked at her hands.
"Mari? Are you okay princess?" Adrien asked with concern, he then looked her in the eye and saw that her pupils were completely dilated, he didn't even need to ask anymore as he came to realize that she'd been drugged.
She then leaned over to Adrien and said with a slow voice. "Heeeeeeeeyyyy….kitty cat…you look sooooooooo cute tonight." Then without warning she crawled over to his side of the couch and shoved him down onto his back.
Dallas's eyes just shot open wide as he bore witness to what Marinette was doing. "Oh boy, I think I might've gave her too much."
Adrien simply looked up at Marinette with utter confusion. "Mari what the hell are you doing?" He asked just before she leaned down and whispered in his ear with a stoned but seductive voice.
"I want you inside of me." Even though it was only a whisper Dallas could still here what she'd said, his jaw just dropped as he began to start regretting what he'd done.
"Oh jeez, well…I guess we might as well put this little lady to bed before she does something stupid." He announced as he gently pulled her off of her lover.
"Hey-hey what the hell are you doing du…du…dumbass…" She protested to the best of her abilities while she was in this state. "It's-it's-it's rude to…to my…my-my kitty."
Dallas sighed and said. "Jesus Christ you are such a fucking light weight."
"What the hell did her parents put in these brownies?" Adrien asked as he inspected her brownie for anything out of the ordinary.
Dallas then began to grin sheepishly and admitted. "I don't think they added anything to the brownies, I on the other hand…may or may not have…added a little something to her's though."
Upon hearing that Adrien's eyes narrowed on to Dallas and he frowned, he then stood up and growled right in his face with gritted teeth. "What…did you…do to her?"
"I can smell sound…" Marinette spouted out random nonsense due to her high. "Adrien…can you smell that…?" She asked as she just looked right into the face of Dallas instead as she clearly couldn't tell the difference at this moment.
"Dallas!" Adrien growled again. "What did you do to my girlfriend?!"
"I kinda sort of maybe…put a little bit of this on her brownie." Dallas replied as he pulled out the bottle from his pocket and showed it to Adrien, who snatched the bottle out of his hand and just red the label. It didn't really make much sense to him but it didn't need to as he already knew it was some kind of narcotic.
"YOU GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND LSD!" Adrien shouted at Dallas with clear rage in his voice.
Before he could respond Marinette once again began to spout in a slurred voice. "Your soooooooo ssssssssexy when you're mad kitty…"
"No Adrien I didn't give her LSD…" Dallas finally replied to his previous statement. "I just gave her a little bit of peyote extract. Though I think I gave her a little too much."
"Oh ya think?" Adrien asked with sarcasm. "What the hell even is this stuff?"
"Like I said it's peyote extract, you see there's this little cactus back home in the desert…a small…roundish…spineless…slightly blueish and very soft skinned cactus that my ancestors would use as a kind of medicine, however some of them would use it to get high, though I'm kind of surprised that she's just feeling the more preferable side effects from it right now." Dallas explained to his foster brother, who then began to ask again.
"What do you mean preferable side effects?" He just narrowed his eyes at Dallas seeming to be even more enraged.
Dallas calmly replied. "Well usually you start out by seeing a bunch of stuff that scares the hell out of you like…oh I don't know a giant snake trying to eat you or a swarm of angry bugs crawling all over you or in her case maybe…Chloe Bourgeois trying to fuck you right in front of her."
"She's-s such a…c-cunt…" Marinette added as she managed to register what Dallas was saying somewhat.
"Are you freaking kidding me?! Why do you even have this?!" Adrien asked twice as he shouted at Dallas and showing that he clearly didn't approve of his life choice.
"Dude, my life has fucked up coming out of the freaking yin-yang, so excuse me for wanting to forget that the world hates me for a few hours every now and again." Dallas replied as he made it clear that he didn't care if he didn't like his life choices or not. Then around that moment Marinette then started to stick her fingers into Dallas's mouth for no reason other than being drugged. "Mawi…Mawi stob id…"
"You smell like flowers…" She said in response as she snickered at him.
"How long is this gonna last?" Adrien asked as he crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the floor.
Dallas then began to scratch his chin and said. "Well I only gave her like three drops of the stuff, and usually A drop of it usually makes me feel high as fuck for about an hour or two so she'll probably feel like this for…five to six hours, maybe longer I don't know for sure."
"And yet you still gave it to her!" Adrien shouted angrily as he threw the bottle on the ground.
"Hey be careful with that…" Dallas said as he picked the bottle up off the ground. "That stuff is not easy to come by here, and it's my last bottle. Also she's under way too much stress right now what with having to be a superhero, lying to her folks and finding out that someone wants her dead…so I think she has the right to get fucked up right now."
"Seeeeeeeeeeee…" Marinette began to add. "The flower boy…gets me…"
Dallas just sighed and said. "This is not how I planned to spend my Saturday night." It was around that moment when Marinette did something that she would never do while sober. She slowly reached behind Dallas and squeezed his rear end, his eyes shot open wide and he said in response. "WHOA! Okay that's enough of that young lady." He then took her hand off his hindquarters and gently pushed her back over to Adrien who caught her and just held her close to him just to make sure she didn't hurt herself. "Okay, apparently she's a horny druggy."
"How do we fix this?" Adrien asked bluntly, just before Marinette said a little too straight forward.
"Weeeeeellllllll…you could take me from behind to start. OH…or maybe we could have a sssspit roast…" Both Adrien and Dallas's eyes shot over to her upon this remark.
Adrien then asked his foster brother yet again. "Dallas, how…do…we…fix this?"
"Oh there's no stopping this…" Dallas replied bluntly.
"WHAT?!" Adrien cried out. "What do you mean there's no stopping it?"
"It's not a disease Adrien it's a drug, you just gotta…you know…let it run its course." Dallas elaborated plainly.
"That's not an option!" Adrien retorted angrily. "I demand that you fix her right now!"
"Nnnnnnnooooooooooooo…I don't wanna get fixed Adrien, I wanna have your babies." Marinette stated as she just clung to her lover, then she started to nibble on his ear playfully.
"Mari would you stop that…" Adrien said as he shoved her back a little bit. She just snickered at him as she buried her face in his shoulder.
Sensing that this was only going to get worse Dallas then made a harmless suggestion. "Yeah I think it's best if you just take her to bed."
Even though it was as innocent as can be Adrien just glared at him and asked rhetorically. "Are you freaking kidding me right now?"
"To SLEEP!" Dallas added so that Adrien would calm down. "Take her to bed so she can SLEEP! Jesus Christ dude what is wrong with you?"
"It's hard to tell what your thinking sometimes okay! You're as unpredictable as a slot machine!" Adrien replied as he picked Marinette up in his arms and carried her off to bed.
"Wa-wait-wait my brownies-s-s-s…" Marinette whined as he took her to their room.
"I think you've had enough brownies tonight princess." Adrien replied as he carried her down the hall.
"THAT'S…Ladybug to…you…Mr. Cat…boy…you." She countered as firmly as she could in her state. Adrien gently laid her down on the bed and just pulled the blanket over her, he then planted a small kiss on her forehead and left her alone as he closed the door behind him.
As soon as he got back to the living room he found that Valentina, Megan, Yuri and Doof were all there along with Dallas, Spizz, Plagg and Tikki who was equally upset with Dallas for what he'd done to Marinette. "I would like to say that I'm surprised with you Dallas but to be honest I really am not." Tikki stated with folded arms.
"Oh don't you start with me spots, I did her a favor." Dallas replied not feeling guilty about giving her his narcotic.
Valentina just shook her head and said. "You really love that cactus juice don't you dorogoy?"
"Extract, it's called extract." He replied firmly. "And it's the only thing I can use to get high in this country that isn't illegal."
"Well as long as you don't use it around our son when we finally become a real family I don't care what you call it." She replied as she patted her son on his head.
"Mommy is id otay if I ead auntie Mawi's bwownie?" Yuri asked just before he started to reach for Marinette's drugged up brownie. Upon hearing those words Dallas quickly reached for the brownie and snatched it away from him before he could take a bite.
"NO!" Dallas shouted firmly, he then saw the startled look on Yuri's face and sensed that he was about to start crying, and as expected Yuri's eyes began to tear up, his bottom lip slowly began to quiver as he started to whimper, and finally Yuri began to let out a whale. Aw shit, Dallas thought to himself. "Hey-hey-hey…come on kid-o don't do that." Dallas said much gentler as he put down the brownie then picked up his son and started to bounce him gently.
"Daddy's mad ad me!" Yuri cried as his tears just fell from his eyes.
"No-no-no-no…" Dallas denied as he tried to shush his son. "Daddy's not mad at you buddy, Daddy just…didn't want you to eat auntie Mari's brownie, because…well she might get mad at you if you did that, you know cause it was her snack and she probably would want to finish it for later, understand buddy?" Yuri sniffled a bit as he nodded his head yes. "Daddy's sorry for scaring you buddy okay?" Dallas said as he gave his son a small kiss on his forehead. "Now how's about I get you a fresh brownie?" Preferably one that I didn't drug, he finished inside his head. As Dallas went over to the box of brownies on the counter with his son in his arms and got him a brownie, while Megan just sat on the couch with her mouth a gape, it didn't take Dallas long to notice this as he simply asked. "What?"
"How the bloody hell did you do that so quickly?" She asked back with utter confusion.
"Do what?" He asked again.
"Calm him down, usually it takes me or his mum about half an hour to calm him down, you do it just once and he's practically as quiet as a church mouse. So how did you manage that in such a short amount of time?" Megan asked as she found Dallas's technique to be on a whole other level.
But Dallas simply shrugged and said. "I'm a man of many talents my dear, so I guess that calming down a crying child is one of them." Around that same moment Doof began to start whining as he saw Yuri enjoying a brownie and just looked up at Dallas with big pleading eyes simply begging him to let him have one. Am I really gonna do this to the dog? Dallas asked himself as he still had Marinette's drugged brownie in his hand, he then realized that this could be an excellent way to get back at him for making Dallas responsible for the damage he'd caused for the street lamp the other day, oh yeah I'm doing this to the dog. Then with a sinister look on his face he slowly reached his hand out to Doof and just turned his head toward the table, as soon as Doof caught sight of what remained of Marinette's brownie he made a b-line straight for the table. Just as everyone else could see what Doof was doing he had snatched it up in his massive jaws and devoured it before anyone could stop him. Dallas then began to act as if it was a mistake to fool his son. "Oh no…I let Doof eat Mari's brownie, oh I'm such a dummy sometimes."
As expected the only one in the room who bought it was Yuri, as for everyone else, they all knew it was on purpose as they all began to fear for the worst to happen to the dog. "Oooooooooh…auntie Mawi's gonna be mad ad you when she wakes up Doof." Yuri said as he covered his mouth with shock.
Adrien then began to glare at Dallas and just shook his head with disapproval. "What? It was an accident." Dallas said with an 'innocent face'.
"Dallas…" Valentina tutted her lover as she too folded her arms in disapproval. "I'm surprised at you, to use your little 'stress reliever' to help Marinette is one thing but to drug my son's guard dog? That's just low."
Around that moment Megan interjected. "Speak for yourself love, that over protective mutt needs to chill out for once, especially sense he literally never takes a break other than sleeping, all though I am concerned how this is going to affect him."
"Oh he'll be fine…" Dallas waved off. "He'll probably just be freaking out for a little while but once the hallucinogenic kicks in he'll be just fine." Around that moment the first part of Dallas's prediction came true as Doof simply began to cower and bark at a simple dining room chair for almost no apparent reason. "Yep, just as I suspected. Mini freak out right on cue."
"Should we…ya know…do something to help him?" Adrien asked bluntly.
"Like I said you just gotta let it take it's course, he'll be fine in a few minutes or so. But until then just let the big guy have his space." Dallas repeated as he sat Yuri on the couch as he ate his treat.
Around this moment Yuri began to ask his father directly. "Daddy? Why is Doof acting so weiwd?"
Dallas was quick to answer him with a harmless little white lie. "You know how people say you shouldn't let dogs have chocolate? Well this is why, it makes them act like a bunch of crazies."
Being an overly naive two year old child Yuri fell for his father's harmless white lie easily. He then got up off the couch and walked over to Doof and simply patted him on his head. "Ids otay Doof…" He soothed as he tried to reassure his dog that he'd be alright. Doof then turned to face Yuri but instead of seeing his normal bright and friendly face he saw the face of a monster with sharp jagged teeth, red burning eyes, pointed ears and a forked lizard like tongue. Doof then began to cower away from Yuri as well as start barking at him out of fear.
Dallas couldn't help but snicker at this entire display. "Oh god this is hilarious." He said while trying to keep his laughter inside as he observed Doof simply cowering and shivering in fear from a small two year old. Dallas then walked over to Yuri and picked him up. "It's best to just leave him alone for now kid-o, we don't wanna scare him too much now do we." As expected however the effects of the peyote slowly began to change from frightful to more mellow behavior as Doof slowly began to act more like Marinette had prior to their arrival. While in his drugged state Doof just stumbled around the safehouse bumping into just about everything that he came across, Yuri found his pet's new behavior to be much more humorous than his fearful one as he couldn't help but laugh at Doof each time he'd either crashed into the wall or simply fell over on his side, Valentina and Adrien however didn't find this funny at all.
"I hope your happy with yourself Dallas…" Valentina seethed as she observed her dog acting like a fool.
Dallas simply smiled and said. "Well to be fair he kind of earned it from the other day because thanks to him I had to pay a five hundred euro fine to fix a fallen street light. So yes…I am happy with myself."
That's when Valentina smiled back at him and said with a smug tone. "Well I hope you realize now that he's drugged he's in no condition to leave the safehouse, which means YOU'LL have to watch over him tonight."
That's when Dallas's smile turned into a frown. "Well that sort of backfired on me."
"Yeah it did didn't it? Funny how drugs tend to do that to you isn't it Dallas?" Adrien added as he simply enjoyed the fact that his foster brother's little joke came back to haunt him so quickly.
But then Dallas quickly saw something good could come out of this situation, in regards of his son. "Fine, I guess I have no choice but to watch the dog, but if I think about this logically…that also means that Yuri will have to stay here too, after all you and Meg said it yourselves that you can't separate these two otherwise he'll just go on a rampage through the city until he finds him. And we wouldn't want that now would we." He said as he gave Valentina a very smug grin.
She then realized that he was right, Doof would eventually come down from his high and when he did the first thing he'd do would be to look for Yuri, but she didn't want to leave him behind with Dallas either, he of course proved he could keep an eye on him for a few hours before but now that their was an assassin after one of the occupants of this safehouse, and that assassin being her arch rival no less she was afraid they'd hurt Yuri, and the fact that there was a supervillain after them didn't help boost her confidence. But before she could decline Megan quickly said. "Oh my god YES, Val and I haven't had a girls night out sense Yuri was born, god knows that I need a little time to myself."
"Well there ya go, you two have a chance to have a little fun and I get to keep Yuri all to myself tonight." Dallas added with a smile.
It was around that moment that Yuri over heard this conversation and he ran over to his mother and looked up at her with bright wide eyes and a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. "Can I stay with daddy tonight mommy? Pweeeeeeeeeeease?" He begged her as he tugged on her pant leg.
She could obviously say no to his request, but the fact of the matter was that all Yuri ever wanted from the moment he could talk and actually understand the way the world worked was to have a father, and now that he had one and was finally getting to know him she had no choice but to allow them to bond as much as possible when ever opportunity struck. She then said very reluctantly. "I…suppose, as long as your sure that you want to."
Yuri's eyes then began to light up with excitement as he began to hop up and down with joy. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" He cheered knowing that he'd be allowed to spend an entire night with his father.
"Wait hold on a second…" Adrien interjected. "I thought we were going over a strategy to deal with the Chameleon, what happened to that?"
"Don't get your nickers in a wad love…" Megan laminated as she pulled out a laptop from a backpack she'd brought with her, it was covered in stickers with the names of various rock bands like Icon for hire, Evanescence, Fall out boy, Three days grace, AC/DC and Metallica. She opened it up, turned it on then clicked into a premade plan to catch the Chameleon. "Valentina and I have already come up with a fool proof plan to catch that slippery little gobshite, here's what we'll do, I've already taken the liberty of scouting out the venue for the party at the Bourgeois hotel, swanky place might I add…" She began to run a simulation of the plan. "Here's what we already know, Marinette is the prime target and Adrien is the patsy for the hit, so for this plan to work neither Adrien nor Marinette can be there…period, however Marinette will still need someone to stand in for her when he strikes, a decoy if you will."
"I'll do that, I have a score to settle with that little 'khu-i, and I aim to finish what I've started." Valentina declared as she felt the sheer joy of her chance for revenge well within her grasp.
"Whoa-whoa-whoa…little ears are present in this room Val." Dallas reminded his lover as he covered their son's ears.
"Oh relax would you love, he doesn't know any Russian yet so it's hardly impressionable." Megan waved off feeling no reason to worry about him.
"Still though, I don't want my son taking up swearing." Dallas retorted, then he began to register just how he was acting and realized that he was already turning into an overbearing parent. "Oh god, I'm already turning into that kind of a dad." He said as he slapped his hand to his forehead and just groaned.
Then Megan leaned over to Valentina and said. "Good thing you two didn't have a daughter eh love?"
That's when Dallas began to worry about his next child, assuming there would be another child to follow. Then he began to imagine it as a girl, and just like that…his imagination just went wild with worries of his potential daughter finding a boy she liked then getting pregnant by said boy, then he began to fantasize about strangling said boy to death with a rope. "Dallas…Dallas…? Daaaallaaas?" Adrien took notice of Dallas being in deep thought and tried to snap him back to reality, though he wasn't gaining any ground this way so he just got up close to his ear and shouted. "DALLAS!"
And just like that he was back. "HUH WHAT PREGNANT BABY GIRL KILL BABY DADDY!" He blurted out and revealed just what he was thinking about. "Oh…sorry, I just zoned out for a second."
"Uh…yyyyyyeah…we figured that." Adrien pointed out as he felt a bit awkward about what Dallas had just said. "Anyway…you ladies were saying."
"Uhhhhhh…right then, anyway sense Val is going to act as the decoy then we'll put your team mates up in various locations through out the hotel." Megan began to explain the plan down to the last detail. "We'll have at least one or two of them each covering all the exits, that way no matter where he goes he's trapped like a rat, and once that limey bugger shows his face we'll wait for him to make his move, and once he's up close and personal with Val she'll reveal herself to him, he'll spook and run to the nearest exit, where everyone else will converge on him, nab him and then Val get's her chance to fulfill her contract on this wanker easy-peasy lemon squeezy."
"And if that doesn't work?" Adrien asked bluntly as he'd hoped they'd at least have a backup plan.
"Plan B is simple enough, I'll be waiting outside of the building with a sniper rifle ready to shoot him in the leg, but either way we need him alive long enough to figure out whoever this…la Volpe is and have them arrested for conspiracy to commit murder." Megan pointed out again the obvious. "Because if we're all being honest it's more than likely they'll try it again, only thing is I don't see any links to follow."
"La Volpe?" Adrien asked with confusion. "Is that the name of the client?"
"It's the code name that the client has chosen to go by until the job is done, that's how assassins protect the identity of their clients in a contract, and sense this code name is in Italian it stands to reason that the client is Italian as well." Valentina stated using her knowledge of how contracts work in the criminal underworld. "As of what gender I couldn't tell you, it's unclear what the context of the word is, it could either be a man or a woman and we wouldn't know until after we'd gotten their contractor, but until then we'll work on just catching the Chameleon, in the mean time just make sure that your team is ready to move." Megan then put her laptop back in her backpack and both women stood up and prepared to leave the safehouse.
"Goodnight my sweet prince." Valentina said in reference to her son as she kissed his forehead. "And goodnight to you as well my love." She then shared a sweet and tender kiss with Dallas as well as she departed.
"Bye-bye mommy, bye-bye auntie Megan I wove you." Yuri said as he waved his mother and aunt goodbye.
Before they left though Megan briefly remembered something. "Oh wait…just a moment." She said as she reached into her bag and handed Dallas a children's book. "Here, he goes to bed a lot faster with a story."
Dallas then looked upon the book and just groaned at the title. "A hundred and one fairy tales, how cliché...why not mix it up a little bit by making up a story, or heck tell him an old legend, that's what my family used to do for me."
"Well I'm just saying he'll pass out faster with a story, I don't think he really cares what story it is you tell him." Megan retorted. "Anyway we're off then, see you in the morning Yuri love, oh and don't give your dad a hard time." She said as she closed the door behind them. On the way to the stairs Megan took notice of the worried look on Valentina's face, so she began to comfort her. "Val relax, he's fine as long as his dad's around, plus there's two other bloody superheroes in that safehouse, which as we both know already is already under police watch 24/7 so the odds of Yuri getting hurt are slim to none, now let's go get drunk off our arsis and forget we're adults tonight. But first I need to stop by a drug store and buy a fresh box of condoms."
Valentina's worried look was then replaced with a smile and laughter at her friend's comment. "Why don't you just use the pill like I do?" She asked bluntly.
"Because you're only sleeping with Dallas, I sleep with multiple blokes in one night, plus the pill doesn't keep you from getting the clap." Megan explained to her friend. "So you still haven't told me, what are you going to do when you finally catch the Chameleon?"
Valentina's smile quickly turned to a frowned brow and a low growl. "I'm going to make him suffer, eight years…eight god damn years I've suffered, plotted, dreamt of finally killing him and avenging my parents for what he'd done to them."
"Whoa-whoa calm down now love…" Megan stated as she gently placed her hand on Valentina's shoulder. "Don't lose yourself to this, remember what happened back in Tokyo with the Hamada clan."
Valentina then took a deep breath and began to relax as her most recent job for a Yakuza clan almost turned out to be her last job entirely as she'd acted too rashly when the boss said he wasn't satisfied with her work and refused to pay her, and as a result she'd killed over half the house and nearly died when two of their own assassins and two other members of the top ten deadliest assassins in the world tracked her down to her hideout and tried to end her in retaliation, but in the end despite her near fatal wounds she proved herself to be the better assassin and earned her new rank, but even though she had survived that entire mess she still acted too recklessly and vowed to do better when she finally faced the Chameleon for what she would hope to be their final meeting. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten what the twin Ronin did to me." She said as she flagged down a taxi.
Back in the apartment Yuri and his father were both sitting and laughing as they both enjoyed the three stooges, and as expected it was Yuri's first time ever watching the show and within the first half of the first act he fell in love with the show. Every time he saw Moe slap or poke Curly in the eyes he'd burst into laughter, and while the young father and his son sat and enjoyed themselves Doof was just lying on the floor simply staring at a potted plant which to him in his drugged state was dancing a hula dance while wearing a grass skirt and an aloha flower neckless. For the first time in a long time Yuri's overbearing guard dog and pet was finally just relaxing. "Man he is so chill right now." Dallas said with a smirk.
"Daddy? Can we give Doof mowe chocowite for bweakfast?" Yuri asked plainly as he much rather liked Doof this way, he also liked the fact that not once this entire evening did Doof coat his face with saliva.
But Dallas just shook his head and said. "Sorry buddy but we can't keep giving him chocolate like that, if a dog has too much then they'll get sick, and we don't want to make Doof sick do we? I mean sure it's funny to see him act like a fool but still, it's not a good idea."
Yuri simply sighed and said. "Otay…" Almost a minute later Yuri started to let out a yawn, his eyes began to grow heavy and his entire body began to grow sluggish.
Dallas took notice of this and realized that it was time for Yuri to go to bed. "Uh-oh…it looks like someone's about ready to fall asleep." He said as he picked up his son. "Come on little man, let's get you to bed."
"Nnnnnooooooooo…" Yuri whined as his father carried him off to his room. "I don't wanna sweep yet daddy, I'm not…" He paused for a moment to let out another yawn then he finished his sentence. "Sweepy."
"Well your behavior says otherwise mister." Dallas replied as he began to tuck his son into bed. "There we go, now how's about a story huh?" Yuri smiled up at his father and nodded his head yes. "Alright then let's see what we got here." Dallas took the book that Megan had given him and started to flip through the pages until Yuri interrupted him.
"Daddy, could you pwease tewl me a new tory, mommy and auntie Megan wed me dat one a hundwed times." He said politely.
Dallas then smiled and closed the book then set it on the night stand as he sat down across from his son as he prepared to tell his son a story he was sure he'd never heard before. "Alright buddy, hears a story that I was told by my grandpa a long time ago, these are the stories…of the great trickster of the Lakota, these are the stories…of the original Iktomi." Yuri smiled a big bright grin as his father began to tell the tale of his namesake. "It is said that he is the son of a creator god called Inyan, which means 'the rock', I know it's a fantastic name and I can sense your jealousy from here." Dallas joked to his son who laughed even though it was terrible. "But before he was ever a trickster he was known for something else, he was known…as Ksa, which means wisdom, he was revered as one of the wisest of all the gods and spirits of the heavens, but sadly he was stripped of his title and became Iktomi because of his troublemaking ways."
"You mean he was naughty?" Yuri guessed.
"Yeah I guess you could say that, I mean he did mess with a lot of people, mostly by setting traps for unsuspecting people to walk into and get caught in. He thought it was funny." Dallas explained as his son listened to the tale with baited breath. "It's also said that he tricked a naïve young girl into taking a bath with him somehow by turning himself into an older woman, and I am NOT gonna go into any more detail than that because that story is way too inappropriate for you so…don't even bother asking me."
"He took a bath wiff a girl? Eew!" Yuri reacted as naturally as any child his age would toward the opposite sex.
"Yeah, that's one way to put it. Anyway here is a story that's a little more appropriate for you." Dallas then began to tell his son a tail about Iktomi that was much more age appropriate. "These are some of the tales of Iktomi." He began to tell the tail like he'd heard many times before. "To our ancestors Iktomi was many things, sly, cunning, mischievous and above all in some cases, he was considered a hero."
"Like you daddy?" Yuri asked as he briefly interrupted his father's tale.
"Mm-hm, but to some people he was just annoying which is why he didn't have that many friends, mostly because they'd all get so fed up with his tricks that his friends would all leave him never to return. Which is why the gods and spirits of the heavens sort of kicked him out of their world and didn't let him come back, and because he messed with so many mortals they didn't really want to be associated with him, like when he robbed a boy just for his clothes."
Yuri's jaw just dropped upon hearing that. "You mean he made somebody go awound naked? Eew!" He said with disgust.
"Oh yeah he did just that, this is how the tale goes." Dallas began to tell this specific tail. "It was a warm day in the forest, the sun beat down upon Iktomi with sweat dripping from his brow, 'my goodness it's hot today' he said as he pulled out his handkerchief to wipe his brow, but as soon as he did the wind snatched up his handkerchief and blew it up into the branches of a tree at the wayyyyyy top, 'oh no' he cried, 'my handkerchief is all the way at the top and I have no way to get it down', around that time a young man came walking his way, a very well dressed young man with a well made buckskin shirt and matching leggings made from the skins of the finest bucks in the land, and adorning his neck was a very beautiful neckless. Iktomi simply looked at this boy and became green with envy at his clothes, 'My oh my' he said to himself, 'what I wouldn't give to have clothes as beautiful as his'. The boy then walked up to Iktomi and said, 'Good afternoon sir, how are you feeling today?' That's when Iktomi's envy grew so great that he came up with a plan to take the boy's clothes, he then pretended to be upset and said to the boy, 'I am oh so very sad my boy, for my handkerchief is stuck way up in the branches of this tree and I cannot get it down.'
Then the boy quickly offered to get him his handkerchief for him, then Iktomi acted so happy and grateful until he said, 'but what about your clothes? Your so nicely dressed up that if you climb that tree your clothes will be ruined.' Then the boy replied, 'oh that's alright, I'll just take them off and allow you to watch them until I get back down.' And those were the very words that Iktomi wanted to hear, so the unsuspecting boy began to remove his clothes and gave them to Iktomi, then he began to climb up the tree, then Iktomi simply waited until the boy was just high enough that Iktomi could runaway with his clothes without the boy having a chance to catch him, 'my oh my these are such lovely clothes' Iktomi said as he marveled the shirt and leggings, 'did you say something?' The boy asked from above. 'I said be careful for it's a long way down and you could get hurt.' Iktomi replied as he slowly walked away from the tree, once he was satisfied that the boy couldn't catch up to him Iktomi then cried out 'thank you my boy.' Confused by this comment the boy then cried back 'but I haven't even gotten your handkerchief yet', then Iktomi cried back to the boy one last remark before he finally ran off, 'No thank you for the clothes', and just like that Iktomi ran off with the boy's clothes as he was still in the tree, he ran all the way back to his village where he showed off to everyone his new clothes."
Yuri then shook his head and said. "Dat wasn't vewy nice of him."
"Well that's one of the reasons we call him the trickster, another reason is because of the prairie chickens." Dallas said as he began to tell another story of Iktomi's trickery. "Did you know that their eyes are red?" Yuri simply shook his head no in response. "Well do you know why?" Dallas asked again only for his son to shake his head no again. "Well let me tell you why, it was in the middle of the day in the desert as Iktomi was out for a walk just enjoying the sunshine, when he felt his belly begin to rumble, 'oh dear' he said 'I'm starting to get hungry, but I have no food to feed my poor belly.' Then off in the distance Iktomi saw something by a river, a lot of somethings, it was a large group of prairie chickens just dancing by the river side, Iktomi then began to lick his lips and said to himself, 'oh I would simply love a prairie chicken or two right now.' So Iktomi began to form a plan, he then outstretched his blanket and laid it flat on the ground and began to take buffalo chips simply lying on the ground and began to put them on the inside of his blanket, then he closed it up and…" It was around that moment that Yuri interrupted his father's tale.
"But daddy, if he had all dose chips den why didn't he eat dem inted?" He asked curiously as he hadn't a clue what a buffalo chip was, until Dallas explained.
"Because buffalo chips aren't the same as potato chips buddy, that's just another name for uh…your gonna laugh at this part, buffalo poop." Dallas said with a grin and saw a disgusted look begin to form on his son's face.
"Eeeeeew he picked dose up and put dem in his bwanky? Yucky!" Yuri cried as he just started to shudder.
"Yeah he probably had to wash his hands after that, and his blanket too, anyway…Iktomi then began to walk by the prairie chickens with his blanket over his shoulder with all those buffalo chips inside hoping that they'd become curious and follow him or at the very least become curious as to what he had. And luckily for him he got just that as the chickens started to ask one another what he was carrying. One of the chickens then began to ask him, 'Hey Iktomi, Iktomi hey…what is it you have there?' Iktomi then looked at the chicken and acted annoyed with him as he said. 'Leave me be little brother, I'm in a hurry and I cannot delay any more than I already have.' But the little birds were too curious for their own good. 'Oh please Iktomi please tell us what you have in your blanket.' Iktomi then let out a long fake sigh and said. 'If you must know I am carrying newly written songs for a village way up in the north and I'm already five days late and I mustn't delay any more.'
Upon hearing this the chickens all became excited and began to say, 'oh please Iktomi please will you sing us one of your songs? Oh please Iktomi we beg of you' they said as they all hopped around him, Iktomi then grinned and said to them, 'Alright, but only one song, but we can't sing it out here in the open desert because as I've said these are new songs and I don't want anyone to steal my hard work and claim them as their own. We must build a hut big enough for all of you, go out and find me sticks, sticks taller than I am would be best, it shouldn't take too long as there are many of you.' And so the unsuspecting prairie chickens didn't hesitate to do as he asked and gathered the sticks like he'd instructed them to do, within an hour the chickens gathered more than enough to build the hut, once the hut was finished Iktomi ushered them all inside, and as he did this he saw that many of them were very plump and ripe to be eaten. 'Oh I am hungry no more today' he said as the last of the chickens entered the hut. Then Iktomi instructed the chickens once more, 'Close your eyes little brothers, for as I sing you must keep your eyes closed or else your eyes will forever turn red.'
And so the chickens did as he told them to do and closed their eyes, then Iktomi began to sing a very lovely song, then the chickens began to dance to the song all while keeping their eyes closed, then while their eyes were all closed Iktomi grabbed his walking stick…raised it above his head and then…WHACK-WHACK-WHACK…he began to strike each chicken individually, eventually one of the chickens began to ask himself, 'what is that sound?' Then he slowly opened his eyes to the sight of Iktomi killing his friends one by one, the little chicken then screamed 'RUN…RUNAWAY EVERYONE HE'S KILLING US ALL YOU MUST RUN!' And just as Iktomi had said all their eyes turned red from his song as they'd all opened their eyes, they turned red because of the blood that splattered everywhere from their friends that he just began to kill as they all ran for the doorway all at once with him standing in the doorway and whacking as many as he could, he didn't get them all of course, but he got enough of them so that he wouldn't go hungry."
At that point Yuri then began to start sniffling a little bit as he felt sympathy for the poor birds of the tale. "He kiwled all duh birdies?" He asked as small tears began to form in the corners of his eyes.
"Yup, but don't worry though, karma kinda got him back for it in the end." Dallas replied as he told the rest of the tale. "After he collected the prairie chickens he'd managed to kill he decided he was going to go and cook them up, so he went out to a lone tree in the desert, took some of the branches and dug a deep pit so he could cook his meal, he placed the chickens in the pit one by one and side by side, then he added the wood for the pit and lit the fire, then he just waited for his food to cook, as he waited the wind began to blow and because of this two small branches near the top of the tree began to scrape against one another, and how it irritated Iktomi something terrible. 'Little brothers' he said to the branches, 'could you please stop that, your bothering me.' But the branches just kept scraping against one another, 'Little brothers please stop doing that, your really making me mad.' But the branches just kept on scraping against one another, eventually Iktomi had decided that he'd had enough of it then he said. 'Little brothers, now I asked you very nicely to stop, so now I'm going to come up there and straighten you out.' So he climbs the tree all the way to the top and tries to break off one of the branches to try and make the scraping stop, but as he reaches up for the branches the wind stops blowing and the branches close up around his wrist trapping him.
And now he is trapped at the top of this tree and he can't get away, he tugs and pulls to try and break free but he simply can't. 'Let me go' he said to the branches, 'let me go I say, I have food cooking down there and I must get back to it.' But unfortunately for him his situation is about to get worse."
"Why does it get worse daddy?" Yuri asked with curiosity.
Then Dallas said continuing his story. "Because off in the distance Iktomi could see his friend the coyote coming for his fire."
"I tought Iktomi didn't hab any friends." Yuri pointed out.
"I said he didn't have a lot of friends kid-o, but he and the coyote were definitely friends because they both shared one thing in common, they were both tricksters and they just loved to cause mischief where ever they went." Dallas explained before he continued. "And that's exactly what was going to happen to Iktomi as coyote walked up next to the tree and called up to Iktomi, 'What are you doing up there my friend?' Iktomi then said back to him, 'Nothing, now get away from my fire coyote.' Just as he was about to do just that coyote then smelled something, he began to lick his lips as he recognized the scent of food. 'Ooh something smells good, are you cooking something?' He asked Iktomi who then said back to him, 'No, no I'm not cooking anything, now get away from my fire.' But coyote wasn't this easily fooled by Iktomi as he would've liked, coyote then got closer to the fire and caught the scent of prairie chickens cooking in the fire pit, 'Oh are those prairie chickens I smell?' He asked as his mouth began to water. 'No, I already told you I'm not cooking prairie chickens, I don't even like prairie chickens.' That's when coyote took this as an invitation to eat Iktomi's catch. 'Oh…then you won't mind if I help myself because I absolutely love prairie chickens.' Then Iktomi called out to coyote with anger 'Don't you dare eat my prairie chickens coyote, for anyone who eats my food will surely die.'
Too hungry to care or even hear him coyote then began to dig under the fire and found the first layer of prairie chickens and started to dig in, all to Iktomi's protests up in the tree, coyote simply ate and ate and ate to his heart's content, 'I must say my friend you certainly know how to cook a wonderful meal' coyote called up to Iktomi who was still up in the tree unable to get down. 'Oh thank goodness you didn't eat all of them' he said as he breathed a sigh of relief, but sadly for Iktomi coyote heard him then said 'Oh you have more?' Iktomi then realized what he'd said and cried 'No-no…you ate them all there are no more,' but coyote knew better than to believe that, so he dug even deeper in the pit and found the second and final layer of prairie chickens, then he said, 'I think I have just enough room for the rest of these lovely birds,' and so he ate them all up just as he did before, and by the time he was done he was simply stuffed, so much so he could hardly walk, as he walked away Iktomi looked back to the branches and said 'See what you've caused? Now I have nothing to eat and it's all your fault.' Then the wind began to blow again causing the branches to loosen their grip on Iktomi and he fell to the ground, then Iktomi got up and saw the feet of all his prairie chickens sticking out of the ground, he hoped that maybe coyote had left him something to eat by leaving him the legs, but all he found was the feet, nothing else, as coyote had purposefully put the feet in the ground simply to taunt Iktomi, that's when he got very…very mad at coyote and said, 'I am going to kill coyote, I warned him that anyone who should eat my food will surely die.' So Iktomi started off after coyote in the direction he went, it wasn't too hard for him to catch up with him either as he was still stuffed from eating all those prairie chickens, coyote knew there was no way he could get away from Iktomi as he was, so he came up with a plan to try and escape him if he could, so he simply played dead and slowed his breathing down, as Iktomi got closer to coyote he then said to him with rage, 'I told you that anyone who should eat my food will surely die.' Then he kicked coyote in his stomach, but coyote didn't make a sound, Iktomi found this to be a bit odd, so he then picked up coyote's leg and simply dropped it and it just hit the ground, then Iktomi did it again and again and again until he made the assumption that coyote was dead.
'Oh my' he said to himself, 'it seems I was right after all, and he ate so much that he killed himself, oh my poor friend, I tried to warn you.' That's when Iktomi's stomach began to rumble, he then looked at coyote's body and said. 'I think I might just have to eat you. It's only fair sense you ate my chickens.' That's when coyote began to worry for himself as he could tell that Iktomi was being serious."
Yuri's jaw just dropped then he said. "He was gonna eat duh coyote?"
"Yup, he was gonna eat the coyote, that is until just as Iktomi was about to throw him on the fire coyote reached up and just…BIT Iktomi right on his arm causing him to drop coyote and fall backwards into the fire, and as Iktomi is struggling to get out of the fire coyote just runs away from him, and as he does this he was just laughing and howling away at Iktomi's pain and expense." Dallas announced with a smile. "Eventually Iktomi gets out of the fire and when he does he just looks at his clothes and sees they are ruined, just covered in soot and burnt up spots all over, and he is now sad, because he's hungry, and now his clothes are ruined, so he decides to go and wash his clothes off in the river, and as he makes his way there he hears something, laughter, he then says to himself, 'Who is laughing? This isn't a time to laugh, this is a time to be sad, for my clothes are a mess and I am so hungry, who could possibly be so happy about anything right now?' Letting curiosity get the better of him Iktomi investigates the sound of this laughter and sees that it belongs to several young children just playing in the river and sliding down a hill that the river runs along on these large flat rocks, Iktomi then says 'oh that looks like so much fun, but I wonder who is watching these children?' he then looks around and sees their grandfather sitting next to a tree as he simply watches the children play. Iktomi then walks up to the old man and says 'Grandfather, would it be too much to ask of you to let me play with the children?' but the old man simply says to Iktomi 'No you can't, now be gone.'
'Oh please grandfather please let me play with them just for a little while.' Iktomi replies to him, but he simply says 'No you can't play with the children now go away.' But Iktomi then folds his hands and gets down on his knees and says once more. 'Oh please grandfather, just for a little while, I promise I will leave afterwards just let me play one time.' Then the old man sighs and says to Iktomi, 'You may have one turn to slide down the hill, then you must go.' Then Iktomi just jumps for joy and goes to grab a flat rock like the children are doing, then he climbs to the top of the hill and calls out to the children below, 'look out because here I come.' Then he slides down the hill and splashes into the river, then he says to the old man 'Grandfather, I'm going to have just one more go, just one more then I'll be gone.' So he goes again, and as he comes back down he then says to the old man, 'Grandfather, I think I'm just going to make this my game from now on.' Then Iktomi climbs the hill again, but this time he gets an even bigger rock much to the old man's protests warning him not to take such a large rock. But Iktomi doesn't listen to him as he gets ready to slide down the hill one more time. 'Iktomi!' The old man cries 'Don't do it Iktomi.' But Iktomi simply says back to him, 'No, this is my game now.' And so Iktomi begins to slide down the hill, but what he doesn't realize is that there is a large tree root that he doesn't see just sticking up out of the river bed, then as he comes down the rock catches the root and flips over on top of Iktomi, squishing him as flat as a pancake.'
Yuri then begins to laugh at Iktomi's expense as he imagined how he must've looked from that event. "Dat's funny."
Dallas smiled at the fact his son was enjoying tales of his heritage. "I told you karma would get him back didn't I?" Dallas reminded him. He then saw what time it was on the alarm clock and realized that he'd kept Yuri up for too long. "Oh shoot is it that time already? Sorry buddy but it looks like we've gotta stop there."
"No pwease daddy just one more, pwease?" Yuri begged as he tugged on his father's sleeve.
Dallas tried his best to look firm but he failed miserably as his son used the puppy eyes on him, with no real experience dealing with this from a child his age Dallas had no choice but to give in to his son's resolve. "Alright, but just one, then you have to go to sleep, deal?" Yuri nodded his head yes as he sat and waited for his final story of the night. "Alright, this one was one of my favorites when I was growing up, now Iktomi wasn't just famous for being a trickster among the Lakota, he was also famous for being an excellent gambler, what ever game he played it didn't matter cause he'd always win, but their was one game that he'd already lost wayyyyyyyy before he even knew that he had."
Dallas started to tell the story as he'd remembered it. "It was late at night and Iktomi was at a neighboring village betting on a horse race with the rest of the villagers, and as he'd expected he won all his bets against them, eventually midnight came around and Iktomi had decided that he'd won enough from the villagers and chose to pack up all his winnings and go home, along the way back he saw something that struck him as odd, it was some stranger standing atop a hill, and he was just pointing at him, just pointing at Iktomi for no apparent reason at all. That's when Iktomi called out to him and asked, 'Are you pointing at me?' but the man said nothing back, so he asked again, 'I said are you pointing at me? Why are you pointing at me?' but the man still said nothing, this really started to make Iktomi nervous as to why someone he didn't even know was just standing on a hill and doing nothing but pointing at him, that's when Iktomi came up with the assumption that he was playing a game. 'Oh I get it' he said to the man, 'you're playing the pointing game, I'm the best at this game and I know for a fact that I'm going to win, so if I were you I'd stop pointing because you will lose if I play this game with you.' But the man didn't stop pointing at him, so then Iktomi said 'Alright, I warned you.' So he stuck out his arm and started pointing back at the man, for hours and hours they kept on pointing at one another. 'Are you getting tired yet?' Iktomi asked his opponent, but he still didn't answer him. 'Well I'm not getting tired yet, I'm not tired at all. You know I'd understand if you were tired, if you want to go home I'd understand, I don't want you to get in too much trouble with your wife.' Then Iktomi said to himself. 'I wish he'd quit already my arm is getting tired.' But he just kept on pointing at the man on the hill and the man just pointed back at Iktomi, they had been standing and pointing for so long that eventually the sun came up over the horizon, and at that moment Iktomi's jaw just dropped, as the sun began to reveal to him…that he had been pointing all night long…at a tree…with a single branch pointing outward."
At that moment Yuri began to laugh yet again. "He was pointing at a twee? Dat's funny."
"Alright buddy, I kept up my end of the deal, now it's time for you to keep up yours." Dallas announced as he leaned in and gave his son a goodnight kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight kid-o, see you in the morning."
Yuri simply yawned and said back to his father. "Goodnight…daddy." He slowly closed his eyes as he began to fall asleep. Dallas just smiled at his son as he turned out the light and closed the door. He then headed back to the living room to turn off the T.V. When he found Doof, who was still very stoned standing on top of Adrien.
"About time you got out here, what took you so long?" Adrien cried as the dog just started to lick his face.
Dallas just stared at the sight of Doof smothering Adrien in a similar manor that he would to Yuri, so naturally Dallas came up with the assumption that Doof had simply confused Adrien for Yuri. "Okay what happened exactly?" Dallas began to ask.
"I don't know, one minute I'm just trying to get a glass of water before bed and the next I'm getting involuntarily kissed by a damn dog." Adrien replied feeling a hint of annoyance toward Dallas for his previous actions toward Doof, as well as Marinette. "Doof for fuck sake get the hell off me!" Adrien started to push the large dog off of him, until he heard a loud…
ppppffft
Dallas then began to realize what it was. "Eew grows dog farts!" He said as the foul smell hit his nose, he waved the horrible smell away from him as best he could. "Doof get the hell off!" But all of a sudden Doof just collapsed on top of Adrien putting all of his weight on him.
"Doof you big fat fuck, get off me!" Adrien shouted, until there was yet another…
ppppffft
"Really? Again?" Dallas whined as the dog just lay on top of his foster brother all the while Dallas was trying to help him get the dog off of him.
ppppffft
"Fuck sake dude, I think I figured out your most deadly weapon is your ass!" Dallas stated as he finally managed to roll Doof off of Adrien, the dog simply laid on his side panting up at Dallas with a very large dog like grin, he then rolled onto his back as if he was asking for a belly rub. "Seriously, your stoned ass fart's on me three times and you expect me to give you a belly rub?"
"What are you complaining about?" Adrien asked rhetorically. "I'm the one he was trying to make his bitch!"
"Hey when you wake up after a drunken siesta in a Mexican bar next to someone's grandmother then you can complain buster." Dallas fired back. "Plus I don't think he was going that far."
Then Adrien narrowed his eyes at Dallas and said. "Still though what the hell took you so long to get out here? Didn't you hear me calling you?"
"I was putting my son to bed thank you very much, so excuse me for being a bit preoccupied." Dallas justified.
Adrien just groaned and said. "Whatever, I'm going to bed, I've had enough of this crazy peyote brownie bullshit to last a life time." Then he simply walked off and headed to his room, he sat down on the bed quietly as to not stir Marinette as she appeared to be asleep, he began to kick off his shoes and pushed them off to the side, he then began to remove his over shirt and threw it off to the side of the room, just as he began to take off his T-shirt he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist.
"Here kitty-kitty…" Marinette said with a stoned voice.
He looked around and saw that she was not asleep at all, or dressed for that matter. "Marinette? Where are your clothes?"
She just shrugged and said with a very drugged tone of voice. "I don't know…" She then stood up on her knees and started to kiss his cheek and just held him close to her bare chest.
"Mari, as much as I'd like to do this with you I don't think now's the time." Adrien stated as he politely declined.
"Ohhhhh yyyyyyeah…" She replied as she shoved him down onto the bed.
"WHOA!" He cried as she used all her strength to force him down, then she sat on top of his waist and just looked down at him with lust filled eyes.
"Well that's tooooooooo…bad…bad kitty…bad-bad kitty…cause momma's got an itch…and you're the one who's gotta…gotta…s-scratch it…so you'd better…get to work cause…you're not…going anywhere till I says soooo." She finished her sentence just before she leaned down and started to kiss him passionately.
The things I do for this girl, he thought to himself as he just let her have her way with him. Then he realized something important and said. "Mari wait…we don't have protection."
Marinette just started to giggle and said. "Ehhhhhh don't worry about it kitty, I took'id some of my…mommy's pills, she won't mind if I use um. Now shut up and…and…fuck me you…ffffffffffucker."
"Never, never again, I am never letting Dallas drug you ever again." Adrien stated as he didn't really like his girlfriend in this state of being.
She just gave a very stoned giggle and said. "Your such a party pooper." Then she returned to her much needed romance. Almost a minute into their romp in the bed room Dallas could easily hear the two of them through the walls.
"Oh god I hope Yuri's a sound sleeper." Dallas prayed as he pulled out a pair of ear buds and plugged them into his phone and started to search for a song on his play list, he was about to play the song when he heard Yuri call for him from the bedroom door.
"Daddy?" He said with a tiny little whisper, Dallas looked over to him acknowledging that he was paying attention to his son. "I have to go potty."
Dallas just rolled his eyes and sighed. "Alright kid-o be there in a second." Dallas said as he put his phone back in his pocket. He walked over to Yuri and picked him up then carried him over to the bathroom, as they passed Adrien and Marinette's room they both heard Marinette cry out at the top of her voice.
"YAHTZEE!" Dallas just groaned and said in his head, maybe giving her peyote wasn't such a good idea, as he could just sense that there was going to be a very awkward conversation with his son in the next few seconds, at least it would be for Dallas.
"Daddy, what's that word mean?" Yuri asked as he looked up at his father's face.
Dallas knew if he told him the truth then this night would become even more bazar for him, so he just resorted to the usual answer that a parent would fall back on in a situation they couldn't or just didn't want to explain to their children. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…don't know." He said with a sheepish look on his face. "I'm just gonna say it's some kind of a French thing." Once Dallas had brought Yuri to the bathroom he helped him with his pants then just waited for him outside the bathroom and let him do his business, once he heard the toilet flush Yuri came out of the bathroom and said.
"I need to wash my hands." Dallas picked him up under his arms and helped him reach the sink to wash his hands, once he was done Dallas took Yuri back to bed, but not before he caught sight of his overbearing dog just laying on the floor looking very lifeless. "Daddy, is Doof otay?" He asked as he felt concern that his dog wasn't moving.
"Oh don't worry kid-o, he'll be fine in the morning he's just really messed up right now." Dallas reassured his son as he carried him back to bed, but this time he chose to stay in the room with Yuri as he didn't want to have to listen to his foster brother make love to his girlfriend for the rest of the night, which worked out just fine for Yuri as he evidently needed to cuddle with something as he slept more comfortably and usually that something was either his teddy bear or Doof and sense the former was back at his mother's apartment/hideout and Doof was currently indisposed Dallas was the next likely candidate, once Yuri was comfortable enough he just fell asleep all snuggled up in his father's arms, Dallas simply looked down at his son still hardly able to believe that any of this was real, he half expected to wake up from some kind of dream sequence and realize that none of this really mattered. But if it was just a dream then he would just enjoy it while it lasted.
Meanwhile on the other side of town Megan and Valentina were out at a popular nightclub, and Megan was dressed in a very revealing, very small, very thin and very short white tank top that hugged her cleavage a little too snugly, on her chest it read 'Yeah their real', she also wore an equally short plaid skirt that barely covered her lower extremities, she also wore a pair of black leather high top high heel boots to complete the look, if it wasn't clear to the men in this club what she wanted this night then they were simply fools. Valentina on the other hand simply wore a plain black T-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans along with a pair of open toed high heels. They'd been there for almost an hour simply dancing, drinking or chatting with other patrons of the club, and Megan was being very flirtatious with several of the men at the bar, and getting the very kind of attention she wanted from them. But she wasn't the only one who was attracting some wondering eyes that night as some drunken patron of the club came up to Valentina and said. "YO hot stuff what's your sign?" His breath simply reeked of alcohol and his shirt stank of way too much cheap cologne.
Valentina then said back. "Stop, that's my sign, now get lost before you get hurt pig."
But the man was too drunk to care or even understand as he just sat next to her at the bar. "You know I couldn't help but notice how cute you look, but I bet you'd look cuter with me on top of you tonight." He said as he pulled her in close.
With a sudden serge of anger coursing through her she grabbed a bottle of beer off the bar and broke it over his head sending him to the ground, he groaned as he tried to sit up only for her to step on his neck and pin him to the ground. "Touch me again and I promise the last thing you see is me cutting your throat open you little b'lyad."
That's when she felt a hand grip her shoulder, she turned around to see a few of his buddies standing just behind her as they began to pop their knuckles. "Sister, I hope you realize what you've done is sign your own death warrant." One of the brutes said.
"Oi Val, need a hand to fuck up some of those blokes?" Megan asked as she took a brief moment from flirting with a handsome young man.
The leader of the three other thugs turned toward Megan and said. "Stay out of this bitch, this is between us and AAHH!" He was quickly interrupted when Valentina quickly grabbed his arm and twisted it until it broke, he fell to the ground and just held his arm as he felt shooting pain course through it. "You crazy little bitch! What the fuck did you do that for?!"
"Self-defense…also no one calls my friend a bitch without feeling pain." Valentina said just before she kicked him in the face as hard as she could, then she turned on the remaining two brutes and said. "Who else wants a piece of me?"
The two brutes simply looked at each other with a worried look as they came to realize that she meant business. They then looked back at her and saw the devilish grin on her face as she seemed more than ready to break more bones. "Oi lads…" Megan said just before she broke a bar stool over one of the thugs heads. "Don't you wankers know two on one isn't fair fighting?" She then sucker punched the same brute in his stomach then she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt then spun him around and threw him into the side of the bar.
While he was distracted Valentina ran up to the remaining thug and performed a double kick right into his chest knocking him down. As he looked up from the flat of his back he saw both women standing over him and just smiling fiendishly. "Let this be a lesson to you boys, not every girl is just a pretty face, also the next time a girl says no…you'd best not ignore her, otherwise I may just come back and finish what I've started, now BEAT IT!" Valentina warned them all as they stood back up and started to leave the bar. "Mu'daks."
"Should've cut one of them some place important, would've sent a strong message to the rest don't you think?" Megan added as she twirled around a broken bottle in her fingers.
"Maybe, but I did not come her to draw blood, I came here to relax." Valentina said as she returned to the bar, but as soon as she sat down the bar tender then said.
"Uh-uh…you two aren't getting anything else from us tonight, not after you caused a fight." Both Valentina and Megan looked at the bartender with annoyance.
"You wanna run that by us again love?" Megan asked as she just glared at the bar tender.
"I said your band, for life if I have anything to say about it." The bar tender replied.
That's when Valentina grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him over the bar and pinned him down under her arm. "You listen to me you little piz'da…" She began to threaten him. "I don't know about you but I think I was well with in my right to defend myself, I also think it's your club security's job to prevent perverts like them to just harass women like that, so unless you want me to give your bouncers a reason to rush to your rescue I suggest you shut the fuck up and serve us all of our drinks on the house, or would you rather I cut off your fingers one by one." While she was talking she pulled out a small knife and just pressed the point into his throat.
The bar tender gulped as he had a feeling that this wouldn't end well for him unless he cooperated. "Okay-okay I get it just relax lady!" He cried as he feared whatever it was she was going to do to him.
"I'll relax after you refill my margarita, and actually stir in the tequila this time don't just por it on top of the mixture you stupid little derr'mo." Valentina snarled just before she let him up. "Oh…and check and see what's taking my club sandwich so long, I'm starting to get hunger pains, and you don't want to see what I'm like when I'm hangry."
"She's not kidding love, when she was pregnant she was like a monster that broke loose from the depths of hell if she was out of her favorite snacks." Megan added as she just grinned at the bartender and handed him her empty class. "And while your making her another drink be sure to be a good lad and refresh me gin and tonic eh love?"
The bartender didn't hesitate to fulfill the requests of either of the young ladies as he worked fast to fix up their drinks and bring out Valentina's dinner, the two then laughed about the events that had just transpired and shared a toast. "Here's to my retirement, which I hope is sooner than I'd expect." Valentina said as she raised her glass.
"And here's to you and that devilishly handsome bloke that you've gotten back to banging all night long so you don't have to go on a killing spree when ever you're pent up with anger." Megan added. "And also here's to the death of that sadistic son of a bitch who you've been hunting sense you joined the game."
The two then clanged glasses together and Valentina added onto that note with an evil smile. "May he rot in hell." Then the two of them both took a sip of their drinks and savored the taste.
"So…" Megan started to change the subject. "When are you and Dallas gonna tie the old knot eh?"
Valentina just laughed and said. "I don't know, sometime after we get the Chameleon, but when that day happens I'll be faced with another dilemma."
Megan just groaned and said. "Not this again, Val you and I both know that you don't need to worry about getting a job because you have the skills necessary to earn a paycheck, just become a private bodyguard or a bloody cop or hell teach a self-defense class, you have a lot more options than you give yourself credit for love."
"I know that…but it's not that this time. This time…" Valentina started to trace that top of her glass with her finger nervously.
Megan then asked somewhat casually while also feeling a bit concerned. "What is it Val, you know you can tell me anything right?"
Valentina sighed then said. "It's Dallas, I'm just…afraid that…well now that he's a superhero…he's bound to make a lot of enemies doing what he does."
At that point Megan just began to laugh. "Val, the boy is the son of a master bloody thief, he's probably already made more enemies than you did in your first year on the bloody job." She said as her laughter began to subside. "Besides that I don't think it really matters, he's got bloody super powers, a whole team of superheroes to watch his back, international contacts and a list of back up plans starting at A and ending all the way to Z, in other words Val your worrying way too much, especially sense your going to be the next number one assassin in the world before you retire, so bottom line if any body thinks they can take the two of you then they're in for a very rude awakening ending with getting their arsis kicked all the way to the south pole."
Valentina sighed and just stared at her drink before she added. "You know it still doesn't feel real yet, Dallas being back in my life, the Chameleon being so close and I've finally got the drop on him and what's even more impossible to think is that I'm so close to freedom from this life, that means no more killing no more running from the law no more having to watch my back."
"Yeah that last one's not as accurate as you'd like it to be, trust me I'd know love, I admit I've had to off a few former flames who weren't too happy about me dropping them like a used condom in the trash, long story by the way and I'd rather not get into it." Megan stated as she chugged her gin and tonic, she let out a light sigh as she felt a slight buzz. "Whooo…that's a good buzz."
Valentina felt no reason to pry, she understood where she was coming from, she of course knew what it was like to be targeted by another assassin for whatever reasons, and she would always come out on top as the survivor but even she knew that her luck wouldn't last forever, which is why she wanted to retire as quickly as she could, especially for Yuri's sake. "So…after we end him, what are you going to do?" She asked her friend before she took another sip of her margarita.
"Eh…I'll probably get a job at some low paying tech company as an IT specialist, or hell I could get a job as an IT teacher for a high school if I had to." Megan laminated, to which Valentina just laughed. "Oi, why are you laughing love?"
"I'm sorry, but you in a high school is not how I pictured you to live out your glory years." Valentina replied as she wiped away a tear.
"Oi I'm not that old, I'm just one year younger than you are so if anyone's in her glory years it's you granny." She said with a grin as she playfully punched her friends arm. As the night carried on the two women simply laughed and enjoyed themselves as if it was the last time they'd ever get to do so, and with their particular line of work that was more than just a possibility.
Back at the safe house Everyone had finally fallen asleep, especially Marinette who at this time was in the middle of what was certainly the most bazar dream she'd ever had, she was floating in outer space surrounded by millions and millions of stars, then the next thing she saw was a meteorite falling towards her, she flinched as she covered her head. But just as it had finally reached her it simply crashed into the ground and turned to dust, she opened her eyes and saw something else strange, it was a heard of deer running across the land all in one direction, following that was a pack of wolves chasing after them, the wolves managed to run down one dear as they all converged and descended upon it with extreme prejudice, following this was a large grizzle standing in a river awaiting for salmon to leap out of the water so it could feed, as the fish hopped out of the water the massive bear managed to grab one.
Soon after this Marinette then heard a loud calling sound, it was from a pod of humpback whales simply singing their song and swimming by paying her no mind, she was in awe of these majestic creatures as they swam by, then the next thing she knew she saw a single whale swimming right at her, she tried to swim away from it but she couldn't move, but then just as the whale had made contact with her it simply burst and turned into thousands and thousands of butterflies, or rather Akumaas simply flying around in a tornado and eventually turning into one giant head, a head that resembled Hawkmoth's, then it simply started laughing evilly as it got closer and closer to Marinette, but just before it could out of nowhere a massive ladybug flew in and crashed into the swarm of butterflies and chased them away.
Then the ladybug simply landed next to Marinette and began to shrink down to a normal size for a ladybug, then it flew up to her and landed right on her nose, she laughed as it's tiny legs began to tickle her. "What's so funny Marinette?" A voice asked from behind her, a male voice, she turned around and saw that the voice belonged to…
"AH! A MOUNTAIN LION!" She cried as she began to panic, but this wasn't like any other mountain lion that she'd ever seen in her life, this one was pitch black with bright green eyes. "Where did you come from?! And how do you know my name?!" Marinette asked the animal, which then replied.
"You need not fear me, I am your guide to understand your place in the design of the great creator, and find your inner strength." The mountain lion replied calmly, for some reason this mountain lion sounded like Adrien and though it didn't move it's mouth she could understand it perfectly, it lay on the ground simply staring at her not even looking a slight bit interested in killing her.
"What…what are you talking about?" She asked the cat again not letting her guard down.
The cat slowly began to stand and said with a stern tone. "Follow me, and do not delay, or else the deceiver will try to lead you a stray, and to your doom."
Marinette was still weary of this cat, and for good reason, and the fact that it was talking to her was not exactly calming her down, but she felt as though she could trust him, mostly because he didn't seem interested in eating her but she still kept her guard up as she followed him along a worn dirt path that seamed to appear out of nowhere as the cat walked forward. "So…" Marinette began to make small talk with this strange animal. "What's your name?" She asked politely.
"You may simply refer to me as your guide, rest assured that I will keep all that would harm you from you." The cat replied as it continued onward.
"Oh…o-kay, so uh…can I ask why you sound like my boyfriend Adrien?" She asked bluntly as they continued their hike.
The cat simply answered with. "Everyone's guide is born through the bonds that are strongest that any mortal shares with another lightly resembling those they share this bond with, therefor I am the embodiment of the one who you share the strongest of bonds with."
"O-kay, I guess that makes sense, so who is the deceiver then?" She asked once more hoping that he'd answer her plainly.
Around that moment the large cat stopped and turned back to her and answered with a chilling warning. "She is the one who would pray for your downfall, the one who would take everything from you and give nothing in return, just for the mere joy of watching you suffer, she is the one who calls for your head in the dead of night Marinette, so what ever you do, no matter what…never turn your back to her, or else she will end you. She is not to be trusted."
"Well that's not very nice…" Another voice added, Marinette and the guide both looked up to see a figure atop a small hill side, this one sounded female, and very cunning. Their shape was blurred out by the sun but they were unmistakably a red vixen. "All I want to do is play, maybe even make a new friend, I happen to know a nice little spot by this waterfall, the view is so breath taking that it's just simply to die for."
Marinette began to recognize this voice very easily. "Lila?" She uttered to herself.
"No, she's just the embodiment of your greatest enemy, and the one who would benefit from your failures the most." The guide answered for the vixen.
Marinette then frowned her brow and said. "You're the deceiver, how fitting that you should resemble Lila Rossi, whatever your doing here it doesn't matter, I won't hear a word you have to say."
"Oh you won't?" The vixen asked rhetorically as it stood up from atop the hill. "Oh that's just a shame, and here I was hoping that we could have a civil conversation before we have to hash out a few things."
Marinette cocked her head back a bit and asked. "Like what?"
"Oh no, you just said you weren't interested in hearing anything I had to say so I'm not even going to waste my breath on you sweetie." The vixen replied as she turned away and seeming uninterested in answering her, until she turned back to her and said with a smile. "Oh what the heck I can't resist."
"NO!" The guide growled as he stood in front of the deceiver. "I will not allow you to fill her head with doubts and lies, BE GONE trickster and do not come back."
"Typical, you don't even bother fighting your own battles for yourself do you Marinette? How…unsurprising of you, I knew right from the start that destroying you would be a cinch, I mean just look at you, you're nothing but some little klutz always tripping on her own feet and faceplanting into the dirt everyday like it's just some daily routine for you." The vixen said to Marinette trying to get under her skin. "I'm honestly surprised that Adrien doesn't wake up and realize how much of a loser you are, but I guess after you dropped your panties for him you made it a little harder for him, but let me ask you something, is changing from a klutz to a slut a step up for you or a step down? I'm honestly confused where the line is drawn for you."
At that point Marinette simply frowned her brow and gritted her teeth, she then marched forward and grabbed the vixen by her throat and picked her up and began to tell her off. "Now you listen to me deceiver, I don't care how many harsh things you say about me…"
"Harsh? Me? I'm only stating the facts?" The vixen interrupted just before Marinette tightened her grip and continued.
"SHUT UP!" She shouted with pure rage, from all around her thousands upon thousands of white cracks began to form in the ground originating from where Marinette was standing. "I…don't care what you think of me, I don't care if what you say about me is true, because even though I am just as flawed as the next girl I don't let those or the harsh things people say in response get to me, the truth is that I will never truly be perfect, but I don't care, I love the way I am, my friends, my parents, even Adrien loves me just as I am and not one of them would have me any other way, so whatever else you were going to say about me doesn't matter because no matter what you try to do or say will never make me second guess myself, now get the hell out of here before I turn you into a hat and wear you around town come winter you silver tongued Lila Rossi rip off." Marinette finally dropped the vixen and just let her take off running with her tail between her legs. It was around that moment that Marinette finally notice the cracks in the ground, she was both intrigued and confused all at the same time. "What…what's going on?" She asked as she turned to the guide, who for some reason had just vanished from sight. "Uh…Mr. guide, hello? Where'd you go kitty?"
"It would seem you've found your inner strength after all…" His voice echoed in the darkness, which was disappearing and turning into a bright white. "My task is done, go in peace Marinette, and remember…the ones you love most will protect you from what's to come. But be warned, most endings arrive much later than anticipated, and yours will come…after you've suffered loss."
This both confused and scared Marinette greatly. "What does that mean? What's going to happen? What's coming for me? Wait don't go yet!" Marinette cried out, then the next thing she knew she was no longer in a white plain of existence, but rather in an alley at night, she felt a sudden cold chill blow causing her to shiver, she simply walked down the alley until she heard a cry of agony, she turned around and saw…herself, being beaten and kicked by a shadowy figure who sawt to harm do nothing but harm Marinette's double. "HEY! Leave her alone!" She shouted as she ran in and tackled the figure to the ground, but as soon as she rose up to fight it, it had vanished into thin air, she then turned around and saw that her double was gone too. Then what happened next surprised her even more, she was suddenly wrapped up in her ladybug yo-yo then she was swung into the side of a building with great force, she then fell to the ground and winced in pain, she then looked up and saw yet another double of herself, but as ladybug, who then grabbed Marinette by her throat and shoved her into the side of the building and just grinned at her devilishly. "Why…why are you doing this?" She asked her clone.
The double then leaned in and whispered in her ear with a voice that was not even relatively close to her own but much closer to that of Lila. "Because it's so much fun." She then threw Marinette down the street with all her strength. As Marinette tumbled down the street her double started walking closer and closer while spinning her yo-yo at her side and smiling with evil intent. "I've told you before Marinette that I'd take everything from you, but I guess you just didn't want to listen to me. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to teach you the hard way." She stated just as she threw her yo-yo at Marinette as she started to stand up, but just before the weapon could even touch her Marinette simply raised her hand and caught it, the ladybug doppelganger's smile turned into a look of shock as she came to realize what had just happened. "What? How…how did you do that?"
Marinette just glared at her and said with ice in her voice. "Same way I can do this, HEE-YA!" Marinette then yanked with both hands on the weapon and pulled her double over toward her with all her might, as she got close enough Marinette kicked her clone in the face with full force knocking her to the ground. "You might look like me, and have my miraculous, but your nothing compared to the real thing bitch." She then tossed the yo-yo off to the side and took a fighting stance and allowed her opponent to stand back up so she could have a fair fight.
"Just you wait, because by the end of this I'll have the last laugh!" The double cried as she lunged forward aiming at Marinette's face, only for her to block it by grabbing her wrist and spinning around and hitting her in the face with her opposite arm's elbow, then she swept her legs out from under her causing her to fall flat on her back, she quickly hopped back up and tried to kick Marinette in the face but she just ducked under it and countered with an uppercut right under her jaw, the false ladybug then stumbled backward, she began to rub her jaw as she tried to maintain focus on the fight, she then whipped around to try and punch Marinette only for her to grab her fist and twist her arm behind her back forcing her into a half nelson, then Marinette wrapped her free arm around her waist and lifted her up off the ground then like a pro-wrestler she flipped her double over her body and slammed her head into the pavement.
Afterwards Marinette stood up and just stared down at her enemy and said. "It doesn't matter what you do or try, I will always come out on top, with or without my powers I will always beat you." And just as suddenly as she'd appeared she vanished into thin air. Marinette smiled at her resolve, until she heard the sound of a door being broken down, she turned around to see master Fu being bashed and thrown around by a shadowy figure similar to the one she'd seen before, only this one had a gun in their hands. "Master!" She cried out as she rushed in to save him, but before she could even get there the figure then shot Fu in the head, his body fell to the floor, his eyes were frozen wide open with fear, blood began to pour out of the bullet hole in his head, his body lay on the ground lifeless. Marinette shrieked in horror as she had just bore witness to her master's death. She then leveled her eyes on his murderer, and saw that he was holding the miracle box, she gritted her teeth and shouted. "I don't think so murderer!" She then ran in at the killer and tackled him to the ground and started to deliver a series of blows to his face without him even trying to fight back. As she began to catch her breath she caught a glimpse of the face of Fu's killer, he resembled that of Dallas, only he was in his mid-twenties and his skin was much darker in complexion in terms of native American standards, and just like her double he too vanished into thin air.
Just as she was about to ask what was going on she began to hear crying, she turned around and saw Adrien, knelt on the ground next to a hospital bed, with her in it hooked up to a series of machines to keep her alive, he simply knelt there holding her hand in one of his own while as he sobbed. "Marinette, you have to fight this…" He said as he looked broken hearted. "You have to live, for the sake of our lives together you have to live. I've already lost too much I can't lose the two of you." He then brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, Marinette felt her heart strings pull at the painful sight that she bore witness to for her lover, she'd only ever seen him like this once, on the night that they'd became a couple, the same night that Gabriel had hit him. She tried to reach out and comfort him, but her hand simply phased right through him, she then pulled away from him knowing there was nothing she could do. But what he'd said was very confusing to her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked herself as she tried to think what he meant by 'the two of you.
She then turned around when she heard the sound of steel clashing upon one another, she turned around to see Cat Noir and Iktomi, or someone who looked to be Iktomi but with a reversed color scheme for his attire battling to what would seem the death. Iktomi slashed at Cat with his tomahawk at the same time as he swung his knife around on it's chain, but Cat simply blocked the blow of the tomahawk then knocked it out of Iktomi's hand just before the knife could make contact with him.
"Iktomi please…" Cat cried as he leapt forward as he swung his staff at his opponent's head. "You don't have to do this, you're stronger than she is, you have to fight this!"
"You don't get it, do you Adrien…" Iktomi replied with a tone of voice that sent a chill down Marinette's spine, it was the voice of a mad man. "She's not the one in control of me, I'm the one pulling the strings, and now that I'm in control…I'M CALLING THE SHOTS FROM NOW ON!" He then charged at Cat then leapt into the air swinging his tomahawk over his head, as he landed he slashed at cat from side to side trying to cut him to pieces only for Cat to block each attack that came his way. Just as Marinette was about to rush in and stop the boys from hurting each other she felt a hand grip her shoulder, then she was forced to turn around to see the grinning face of Lila.
"Say bye-bye to Adrien." She said just before she pulled out a knife and plunged it into Marinette's stomach. She lurched forward just before she fell to the ground. Then she heard the crack of thunder, she looked up to see a massive eagle, with two heads swooping down upon her, she was mortified as it extended its talons poised to strike, then she heard something else, something she didn't expect, it was the sound…of a baby cry.
Then in an instant Marinette woke up screaming, her body was drenched in sweat as she panted heavily, she looked down at her stomach just to check and see if what she had experienced was real or not, she breathed a sigh of relief to see that it wasn't, but just as she was about to lay back down she took notice that her shirt was gone, and her bra, all of her garments were off her person and she had no idea how this had happened or why. Around that moment Adrien began to stir right beside her. "Mari?" He asked in a yawn. "Why are you screaming?"
She then pulled him into a much needed hug after being pulled out of such a horrible nightmare. "I'm sorry, I just had the most terrible dream." She replied as her voice began to crack.
Adrien wrapped his arms around her and willingly returned the hug. "It's okay Mari, it was only a nightmare." He reassured her as he stroked her back.
"But it felt so real, I saw Hawkmoth, master Fu was killed, I saw some crazy double that looked like me and…she sounded like Lila, and…I saw you and Dallas fighting again, but this time…I think he was trying to kill you." She said recalling the dream in vivid detail.
Adrien placed a tender kiss on her forehead and said. "It's okay Mari, what ever you saw was just a dream, but I think I know who's responsible for your nightmare."
Marinette thought she knew who he was talking about and said. "You really think my nightmares are because of the assassin don't you?"
"Nope, not him at all." Adrien replied flatly.
Marinette simply cocked her brow and asked. "Then who?"
Adrien then replied quickly with the identity of the real culprit. "Here's a hint, he's part gypsy part Lakota, dabbles in voodoo, treat's everything as a joke and tried to get you to sleep with him a month ago."
Marinette was still no less confused when she asked again. "How is this Dallas's fault?"
"Because he drugged you last night, which is one of the reasons your naked." Adrien stated bluntly and preparing himself for what ever reaction she was going to have.
And as he'd expected she went ballistic. "HE WHAT!" She shrieked as she felt every last bit of her rage bubble up inside of her. "That LITTLE…SON OF A…"
Adrien was quick to cover her mouth with his hand just in case if Yuri had woken up yet. "I think you might want to keep it PG for a little while babe, as we have a guest who is way too young for language like that."
She looked at him with confusion and asked. "What do you mean?" Just before she could get an answer the door slowly began to open, just before who ever it was could see Marinette's bare chest she quickly grabbed the blanket and pressed it to her breasts preventing anyone from seeing her, and as if it were some kind of sick joke played by the universe the guest that Adrien was speaking of had just entered the room completely unaware of what he'd just walked into. "Oh dear god he's old enough to open doors?"
"Good mowning evewy body." Yuri greeted with a warm smile. A million thoughts rushed through Marinette's head, one of them was, Please tell me this is just another bad dream, sadly for her this was all too real as the small blond child stood in the doorway of their bed room. "Daddy says dat bweakfast wiww be weady soon."
Both Adrien and Marinette could feel their faces burning up with embarrassment as Yuri just stood in the door way not even aware of his newly considered aunt and uncle were completely naked under the blanket praying to god that he didn't feel the need to climb into bed with them and give them a good morning hug along with this unrequested wake up call. "Yuri I said you just had to knock on the…doooooooorrrr…oh boy." Dallas said as he'd come down the hall and accidentally walked in on them too. "Uh…just so you guys know I've got breakfast ready so…come and get it when ever you feel like it. Come on buddy let's leave auntie Mari and uncle Adrien alone so they can get dressed." Dallas then picked up his son then carried Yuri off, but just as he turned around he then mouthed a word to them both. "Sorry…"
Both Marinette and Adrien then buried their faces in their hands and let out a groan of embarrassment in unison. "I pray to god…that nothing else weird happens to us with in the next twenty-four hours." Marinette said with frustration but also feeling thankful that this whole situation ended much better than it very well could've ended.
"Let's just get dressed before the little guy comes back for some reason." Adrien added as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, he then out stretched his arms over his head popping his stiff joints, then he walked over to his suit case and picked it up and placed it on the bed, but before he began to open it and dig through his clothes he made sure to close and lock the door to prevent another awkward moment with a certain two year old. As Adrien locked the door he heard a distinct giggle come from Marinette, he turned around and simply asked. "What?"
"Oh nothing…" She replied with a blush and a grin. "I'm just so surprised that you're so comfortable showing me your naked body when we've only done it twice now. To be honest I would've thought you would be a little more shy."
Adrien cocked his head back, cocked one eye brow and gave a crooked half smile and said back half-jokingly. "Well it's nothing you haven't seen before, let's not forget the whole incident back at Fu's place a few months back."
Marinette quickly had a flash back to that moment in time, what proved to be one of the most embarrassing and over all awkward situations in her life quickly turned into a memory that brought a smile to her face, as well as laughter. "Oh my god…" She chuckled. "That almost feels like a life time ago sense that happened."
"Yeah…" Adrien agreed as he shared in the laughter. "I swear I thought I was going to burst into flames with how red I turned."
"You thought you were going to burst into flames? You clearly didn't see how red my face was, I thought I was about to nuke the whole city." She countered as she finally stood up and went for her suit case to acquire a clean set of clothes for the day. She placed her bag on the bed and opened it wide, her smile and laughter was quickly replaced with shock and a gasp as she saw what her Parents had somehow snuck into her bag.
Just as Adrien had put on a fresh pair of underwear he took notice that his princess's face was turning red once again as she looked in what seemed to be horror at the contents of her bag, he walked over to her side of the bed and instantly realized what had gotten her so spooked. "Whoa…" Was all he could even think to say as he saw in her bag was a bright red silk lingerie gown with a matching thong, a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, a fresh box of condoms, a fresh ring of birth control pills, a fresh bottle of personal lubricant/massage oil, a box of brand new candles for mood lighting and a riding crop, but the one thing that stood out to the young couple the most was something that Marinette was absolutely mortified with, a very long, thick and wide…sex toy. And on top of all of it was a note that said, just in case you two can't help it, love mamma and papa, and at the end of it was a little heart.
Marinette was without words, she was absolutely frustrated with her parents for doing something like this without even asking her first. She just wanted to curl up into a ball and die of embarrassment. She sighed and asked rhetorically. "Why can't my parents just be normal for once?"
"Well on the plus side at least we don't have to worry about protection for a while." Adrien would be the first to admit that this joke was in poor taste, and as he'd expected just after saying it for whatever reason she just glared at him with anger on her face. "Too soon?" He asked the obvious.
"Very…" She uttered to him with a slight growl, finally she dug through everything her parents had added to her luggage and feeling completely embarrassed that she had to dig through so many things people typically used for pleasure just so she could get dressed, once both teens were finally clothed and had made sure to burry all evidence under her clothes in the suit case Marinette and Adrien finally came out of their bed room and joined Dallas, Yuri and the three kwamis for breakfast. "Morning everybody…" Marinette yawned as she took a seat next to Yuri who was propped up on a stack of books in place of a high chair sense they had none to speak of in the safehouse. "So what's on the menu this morning?" She asked feeling hungry for just about anything.
"Oh it's an old recipe that my Lakota ancestors used to make for their warriors to keep them strong, roasted rattle snake upon a bed of roots." Dallas announced to her, he looked over his shoulder to see a disgusted look on both Adrien and Marinette's faces, he then chuckled slightly and said. "I'm kidding I made frittatas and sausage links. You guys should see the looks on your faces, you were all 'oh my god is he serious?' Priceless, just priceless." Dallas then placed two different kinds of frittatas on the table, one with spinach and other with bacon, he allowed everyone to pick which ever one they wanted. Yuri of course needed someone to plate his food for him, which Dallas did happily. "So Mari…how are you feeling from last night's uh…let's say treat?"
Marinette was about to tell him just how angry she was with him when she came to realize just how dry her throat was, it felt as though she had swallowed razor blades with how scratchy it felt. "I think I need something to drink first." Dallas then stood up and went over to the cupboard and grabbed not a glass but instead a large plastic pitcher, he then filled it to the top then placed it on the table with a glass. She just looked at him and asked. "Don't you think this is a bit overkill?"
"Trust me, you're gonna need every last drop of that. Oh that reminds me I need to get some water for the dog too." He voiced as he began to search for a large enough bowl for Doof for when he'd awake.
Even though she still thought he'd over done it Marinette was far too thirsty to care as she poured herself a glass of water, she gulped it down greedily as if someone might take it from her, in this moment it felt like the best drink of water she'd ever drank in her entire life due to how parched she felt. "Wow, you really are thirsty aren't you princess?" Adrien voiced as he saw how fast she'd swallowed every last drop.
"Auntie Mawi? Why awe you so firsty?" Yuri asked as he too was in amazement by how fast she was drinking water.
Marinette filled another glass as she found her thirst was not yet sated, she looked at Yuri and answered him with. "Because your Daddy gave me something last night, something that I'm not to fond of him giving me with out my knowledge, not that I ever would've actually taken it willingly."
Yuri then asked again. "Did daddy give you siwwy juice?"
He might've been two years old but it seemed he already had an idea of what alcohol was, she then shifted her gaze over to Dallas with a glare and said. "Something like that."
Dallas just shrugged and said. "Well if it makes you feel any better I'm sorry okay? I truly am sorry for messing you up, but in my defense you were pretty stressed last night so I just thought that maybe a little bit of…my private reserve might help you…unwind a little bit."
Around that moment Doof came walking into the kitchen still very groggy from being drugged with peyote, as soon as he eyed the bowl of water that Dallas had laid out for him he trotted over and began to drink to his heart's content, Adrien then narrowed his eyes and asked. "Well what was your excuse for the dog then huh?"
Dallas put a hand to his chest acting insulted by his accusation and said in response to try and keep his son in the dark about what he did to his dog was actually on purpose. "My good sir I am offended that you would actually accuse me of such an act. I already told you it was a simple mistake on my part, you can't blame me for what Doof did of his own free will."
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"Really Doof, that's like the fourth time." Dallas added as he started to wave the dogs gas away from his nose. "No more chocolate for you fide-o."
"Eew Doof dat's stinky." Yuri cried as he quickly covered his nose as well. Doof simply looked over to Dallas with an angry look on his face that basically matched Marinette's, he growled slightly as if to say 'I will get you back for what you did to me.'
"Wait, are you saying you did the same thing to the dog that you did to me?" Marinette asked with a disapproving look.
Dallas grinned devilishly and said. "Weeeeeellllll…let's just say that you guys basically shared a brownie."
"Pwease don't be mad at Doof auntie Mawi, he didn't know it wasn't fow him." Yuri said to Marinette with big pathetic puppy eyes, to which Marinette found adorable.
She patted his head and said sweetly. "It's okay Yuri, I'm not mad at him, your daddy on the other hand…" She shifted her focus back on to Dallas before she finished with a glare on her face. "That's a different story."
"Seriously? I already apologized will you just get over it?" Dallas replied as he finally sat back down, just as he was about to start eating he took notice that Yuri was about to take a bite of sausage, a bite that was way too big for a two year old, feeling nervous that he might choke Dallas reached over and took the sausage from him and put it back onto his son's plate and started to cut it up into tiny little bite sized pieces perfectly safe for a toddler. "There you go kid-o." Dallas then returned the plate over to his son who immediately began to dig in. He then heard snickering coming from Adrien, he looked up and said. "What?"
"Oh nothing…I'm just surprised that you're not chewing his food for him too…mamma bird." Adrien joked as he found Dallas's behavior hilarious.
Dallas just narrowed his brow and said with a stern voice. "Eat me."
"Daddy, what is that suppost to mean?" Yuri asked his father who only just realized what he'd said, in front of his child.
"Uh…it's…kind of like another way to say shut up." Dallas replied in the best way he could.
"Adrien come on, he's just trying to be a good parent." Marinette said in Dallas's defense, even though she was still plenty mad at him.
"Thank you Marinette, at least someone at this table can appreciate my behavior." Dallas replied with a smile.
Before anyone else could say another word Yuri then asked a question to his new aunt which had been bothering him all morning. "Auntie Mawi, what does Yahtzee mean?" Marinette was completely confused by the innocent little question, but Adrien just froze as it didn't take him long to realize why he was asking such a question, his eyes just shot open with shock as he slowly looked over to the toddler with a mouth wide open praying to god that this wasn't actually happening.
Marinette then answered him honestly. "I don't really know if it has a meaning really, all I know is that it's some kind of game you play with dice. Why?"
Upon hearing the word game Yuri became excited and said. "You and uncle Adwien weww pwaying a game? Can I pway next time?"
That's when she got even more confused, she had no idea as to why he had suddenly assumed that they were playing a game, then she answered honestly. "We weren't playing Yahtzee last night."
"Then why did you say it wast night?" He asked innocently. It was around that moment that Marinette's face began to turn beat red as she came to realize that he'd accidentally heard them. "Auntie Mawi, awe you otay?" Yuri asked as he noticed her face beginning to turn red.
"She's fine buddy, she's just…thinking." Dallas said trying to distract his son from the earlier question. But he had a feeling this wasn't enough, and his ace in the hole was sitting right behind him while his son was focused on Marinette Dallas quietly reached into the fridge and grabbed a wedge of camembert and held it out for a certain Kwami, he quietly waved it around for Plagg to take notice, and as he'd hoped Plagg came over without question, but just as Plagg was about to take it Dallas pulled it away slightly and gestured for him to come closer, he then whispered in Plagg's ear hoping that he'd help with this situation.
Plagg could see that Yuri was about to open a can of worms that he was clearly too young for, so he went along with the half-baked plan that Dallas had come up with. Plagg then flew up to Yuri and said. "Hey Yuri, wanna see a cool trick?"
Yuri looked over to Plagg and said. "Otay…"
Plagg then took the wedge of cheese and said. "Watch and be amazed as I make this single wedge of cheese…disappear."
"By doing what eating it?" Dallas asked as he and Plagg collaborated to get Yuri off topic. "Any body can do that you little stink pot."
Plagg then turned around and acted angry as he said. "Stuff it Jones or I'll come over there and show you just how I handled the dinosaurs."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again you little shrimp, I'm not scared of you." Dallas replied as he crossed his arms.
Neither Adrien or Marinette had a clue as to where they were going with this but they did know what they were trying to do was distract Yuri from the topic, which they were pulling off without a hitch. "Oh yeah…" Plagg said as he flew up into Dallas's face. "Well let's see how brave you are after I do this!" Plagg then raised his fist and hit Dallas's face with a tiny kwami sized punch, which didn't hurt at all but Dallas simply acted as if it did as he pretended to fall out of his chair and hit the floor and pretending to be unconscious. "That'll fix you!" Plagg voiced as he kept up the act that it was an actual fight.
Everyone but Yuri knew that it wasn't real, however Yuri was so convinced by the display he hopped off his chair and ran over to his father's side. "Daddy? Awe you otay?" He asked as he shook his father's head, but Dallas didn't respond, intentionally of course. That's when Yuri made the biggest and most likely assumption a child his age could make in this situation. His bottom lip began to quiver, tears began to form in the corners of his eyes, and finally he began to cry and say. "Daddy's dead!" He covered his eyes as he sobbed on behalf of his 'late father' thinking that he'd only just met him a few days ago only for him to lose him just as soon.
Around that moment the front door opened up and in stepped his mother Valentina with a bag of items that she'd brought over for her son to get ready in the morning, she looked over to the kitchen table and immediately asked. "What's going on?"
"Plagg killed Dallas." Adrien stated flatly with a not so serious tone.
"Though he did kind of bring it on himself." Marinette added just as flatly as Adrien.
Yuri looked up to his mother and just cried. "Daddy's dead mommy…" He then wrapped his arms around her leg. "And the mean kitty kiwled him."
This was never Dallas's intention to scare his son, so he just let out a slight groan signaling to him a sign of life. Yuri looked around and saw his father wasn't dead at all. "What the heck hit me?" He said to keep up the act as he sat up slowly. Yuri then let go of his mother and wrapped his little arms around his father's neck squeezing tight, so tight that Dallas could hardly breathe. "Yuri…you're choking daddy."
But Yuri just held on as tight as he could thankful that his father was alright. He cried and cried until his mother started to try and sooth him. "Yurochka calm down…" She said as she knelt down and rubbed his back. "Your father is alright."
"Yeah I'm okay buddy see? Daddy's just fine." Dallas added as he scooped his son up in a hug and planted a small kiss on the top of his head.
Yuri looked up at Dallas with a runny nose and tears running down his face. "I tought you weww dead." He sniffled as he finally started to calm down.
"It's okay buddy…" Dallas soothed his son as he stood up while still holding his son, he walked over to the counter and grabbed a paper towel and held it to his son's nose. "Blow…" Yuri took in a deep breath and blew his nose hard. "There, feel better now?" Yuri nodded his head yes as he wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry daddy scared you buddy, I promise I won't do it again."
"To bad you can't promise him that you won't be such a woose in the next fight your in." Plagg added jokingly. Dallas then shot him a dirty look as if to say 'we're done with that you ass.'
Around that same moment Yuri looked back at Plagg and pointed his finger at him and said. "Bad kitty."
Plagg just shrugged as if he didn't actually care what Yuri thought of him then he returned to his wedge of cheese. After breakfast Valentina helped Yuri get ready for the day by brushing his teeth, which Yuri suggested he show his father just how capable he was. Then it was off to taking a bath, which Yuri also insisted that Dallas help him with, then it was onto a fresh set of clothes for the day, which Dallas was also present for via request of his son. Dallas felt flattered that his son wanted him to take part in every little part of his daily routine, this was a good sign to him that Yuri already thought the world of him, it also helped that Yuri already had Dallas wrapped around his finger weather he knew it or not he was already a devoted father, and his most recent behavior was proof of that. But sadly their time together had to come to an end for now as Valentina had scheduled Yuri for a doctor's appointment for a simple checkup, Yuri of course didn't want to go, not just because he thought the doctor was going to give him a shot, but mostly because he didn't want to say goodbye to his father yet. Dallas was also very reluctant to say goodbye to him as they had actually bonded the night before, but he knew it was a small price to pay they both knew that soon enough Dallas would have a permanent place in their home.
"Daddy will see you later buddy." Dallas soothed his son as he just held him in his arms and placed a kiss on his forehead. "You be a good boy for mommy and auntie Megan okay?"
Yuri nodded his head and said. "Otay daddy." He gave his father a similar kiss on his forehead as he squeezed him tight. Dallas then handed him over to his mother and let out a small tear.
"We'll be sure to come back later tonight." Valentina offered knowing that this would satisfy them both for now.
Dallas smiled and said. "That would be great, oh before you guys go…" Dallas then walked over to the counter and grabbed a couple of brownies from off the counter top, then he headed back to the door and handed the treats to his lover and their son. "A little snack for the road."
Yuri took a brownie without hesitation and said. "Thank you daddy." Then he took a bite and made very audible chewing noises.
His mother just giggled as she took her brownie and said. "You eat like a pig." Yuri then started to make little oinking noises as if he were an actual pig to try and make his parents laugh, and as he'd hoped it would, it worked. "See you tonight dorogoy." She leaned in and gave Dallas a tender kiss on the cheek. She then snapped her fingers signaling to Doof that it was time to go, he hopped up like lightning and trotted toward the door. He stood still long enough for her to get the leash on him then all three characters left the safehouse without any more delay.
Dallas's smile then slowly turned into a frown as the emptiness of his son leaving began to sink in. He sighed with a slightly sad expression. "I had no idea that it would feel this hard to watch him go like this." Dallas voiced as he felt a twinge in his heart.
"It'll be okay Dallas." Adrien said as he looked over to his foster brother while washing the dishes from breakfast. "They'll be back later tonight like she said, so you'll have all the time in the world to prepare, but maybe we should go out and buy some board games for him, that way he won't get bored."
Dallas then turned and replied with a joke. "Yeah you're right, we could play a few rounds of Yahtzee with him, right Marinette?" He looked over to her as she simply sat at the table still drinking from the pitcher of water, she narrowed her eyes at him and just flipped him the bird. "Oh come on that was funny."
"Not if you're the butt of the joke Dallas." She hissed back at him. "Also, I'm still not going to just get over you drugging me, even if I seemed like I needed to unwind a little bit that wasn't cool."
Dallas just chuckled and said. "I'll tell you what's not cool Mari, you trying to squeeze my ass and convince Adrien to have a three way involving me."
Marinette's jaw just dropped as she looked over to Adrien with a concerned look, Adrien just looked away with a slight blush, this was all she needed to learn that what Dallas had said was true. She then said in a shocked voice. "Excuse me for a moment." She then walked out of the room and into her bed room, only a second after closing the door she let out the loudest scream she'd ever let out in her entire life, Adrien, Dallas, Plagg, Tikki and Spizz all winced as her shriek could be heard very easily through the walls. She came back out of her room and just let out a sigh of relief as she felt better after releasing her frustrations. "Okay, that feels wayyyyyy better."
"Yeah…needless to say I don't think I'm gonna let you have anymore peyote for a while." Dallas added knowing that this was a smart thing to say on his part.
"Or how's about you just don't give it to me ever again, or heck just get rid of it." Marinette pointed out the better option.
Dallas then frowned his brow and said. "For your information that stuff is the only reason I haven't committed murder yet, and no being akumitized doesn't count because I wasn't in my right mind at the time Plagg, not that I've lost sleep over killing those fuckers."
Plagg slowly closed his mouth as what Dallas had just said was exactly what he was going to say. He then returned to eating yet another wedge of cheese, After the dishes were all washed and put away Dallas and Adrien began to fill Marinette in on the plan to catch the chameleon. She agreed that this was a sound enough plan to catch him and hopefully lead them to the client who ordered her assassination in the first place, find out why they hired him and what they had against Marinette. Although she still wasn't sure how the team would feel about simply letting the black widow end him after they'd gotten what they wanted out of him. But she'd burn that bridge when she got to it.
Across town at the skate park Alex was performing some tricks with a brand knew pair of skate's she'd gotten, from her 'secret' admirer who had recently upgraded from simply leaving love letters to gifts, whish she'd discovered after they'd appeared on her doorstep, she'd had her eye on this particular set of skates and had no idea how he knew just which set she was after, or how he'd found out who she was for that matter. But she wasn't complaining, nor did she hold it against him for finding out who she was without her consent and she vowed the next time she got the chance she would thank him for the kind and heartfelt gift, after she'd felt her new skates were broken in she chose to call it a day and took off for home but first she headed to a nearby Café for a quick snack. When the waiter had returned with her order she saw that there was something on the tray that she didn't order along with her food. "Uh…I didn't order a sundae." She said as she politely tried to decline the extra food.
But the waiter quickly explained. "It's already paid for, courtesy of that young man over there at the counter, the kid with the glasses and the little robot."
She looked over to the counter and saw the person the waiter was speaking of, Alix instantly became confused as she did not expect to see Max and Markov in the same café as she was, but that wasn't what confused her, what confused her was the fact that Max had actually gone out of his way to buy her a sundae, sure they were friends and yes they helped each other out every now and then but this was new even for him. But instead of staying put both he and his robot simply left the café and headed out with Max taking his food togo. Alex didn't think too highly of it as she just enjoyed her lunch, once she was done eating she left the café and started home, but on the way she was halted by the sight of a crime scene, she looked over and saw the body of some poor unsuspecting victim. She tried to get a closer look but there was just no way she could get any closer than she already was to see who it was, but that's when she saw it, a little helicopter robot that looked exactly like Markov, she then began to realize that it was Max Kante in the alley, she had no idea who would want to hurt him or why but she was going to find out and stop them, that's when she decided to go back in time and stop his killer from ever harming him.
She darted off to a different alley and made sure the coast was clear first before she let her kwami loose. "Alex, what's going on?" Fluff asked bluntly.
She turned to her Kwami and said. "One of my classmates was just murdered, I have to go back in time and save him."
Fluff just gasped and said. "But going back in time to undo the future is dangerous, you could do something even worse to the timeline by doing that."
"I'll be careful, I'm sure it'll be fine, I hope." She then pulled out her miraculous and held it in front of her. "Fluff, clockwise!" She exclaimed as a flash of light blue transformed her into Bunnix. "Burrow!" She quickly leapt into her portal and traveled back in time to just before the moment happened, she saw Max simply walking down the street with Markov simply shooting the breeze.
"That was an excellent strategy Max, I'm sure that this will help tip the odds in your favor by 6.25% at the very least." Markov said as he hovered next to Max.
Max looked up at his friend and said. "True, but that's only a small percentage of what I'm after. But I'm sure if I keep at it like this I'm sure things will go my way, and hopefully by the end of the year at least Alex and I will be together 100%"
Bunnix then came to realize why Max had bought her the sundae. "First Pegasus and now Max? Wow, I guess I'm better looking than I thought." She said just before she shook herself back to reality. "No-no-no stay focused Alex, you've got to keep him safe." She simply kept her distance knowing she had to let who ever it was that killed him the first time think they had the drop on Max, and that he was defenseless.
She simply shadowed him from the rooftops just watching, waiting for anything out of the ordinary. Just as Max and Markov had turned a corner they saw the entire street was backed up with traffic and no one could get through, not even on the sidewalk. "Oh brilliant…" Max said sarcastically. "Looks like I'm taking the long way home." He then turned into the same alley that he was murdered in the first time completely unaware that he was walking into a trap, luckily for him his guardian angel was looking out for him from above.
Bunnix saw plan as day who his killer, or soon to be would be killer was, he looked like some random drug addict, his clothes were torn and stained with dirt and she could smell that he hadn't bathed in a very long time, but what caught her attention the most was the knife he was holding and ready to stab Max with. Just as Max got close enough to the addict he leapt out of his hiding spot and ordered. "Phone, watch, wallet, everything you've got that's worth money."
Before Max could say anything in response Bunnix dropped down from the roof and disarmed the mugger by using the hook of her parasol and whipping it out of his hand. "I don't think so pal!" She said as she quickly tripped him up and pinned him down with all her weight. "You're lucky that I happened along when I did Max, otherwise you might be dead right now."
"Bunnix? Where did you come from?" Max asked his crush, and not really acknowledging that she used his real name in her superhero persona.
"About five minutes from now, I happened along to see your friend Alex who just so happened to find you here in this alley…uh…dead, unfortunately." She replied not meeting his gaze. "But don't worry, I'm sure saving you won't affect the time stream in any way, maybe."
"Well actually there's a considerable chance that saving my life could have a 86.25% chance that the result could end negatively and have grizzly repercussions." He corrected her with a very random calculation.
"Ha…nerd." The drug addict added to try and lighten his mood.
"Shut it junky." Bunnix growled as she swatted his head. "And don't worry about the timeline, your head will explode if you do."
After calling the cops to come and arrest the mugger Bunnix saw no reason to stay in this part of the time stream any longer than she already had, but just as soon as she was about to leave Max stopped her in the attempt to tell her the truth. "Wait…Bunnix hold on just a second please." He said as he grabbed her wrist.
She turned around and said in response. "Alright, but I can only spare a minute."
Max then took a deep breath and said while trying his best to keep composed. "I…I…I have a crush on you."
Wow, she thought to herself, I wasn't expecting that, hey wait a second, he has a crush on Alex and Bunnix? What's going on here? "Uh…I was under the impression that you had a crush on your friend Alex, she told me about that sundae you got her." She said in response.
"I do…but…I guess that also means I have a crush on you too." He said sheepishly hoping she wouldn't freak out.
She then cocked her eyebrow as she didn't exactly know what he was talking about. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked bluntly.
He then closed his eyes and said in a relaxed voice. "I know it's you under that mask Alex."
She gasped with fright, she then grabbed him by his shoulders and said in a panic. "How did you know? Who told you?"
He gulped and said in a sheepish tone. "You did actually, by technicality."
Her confused look then returned and she asked. "What do you mean I told you? Oh my god did my future self come back in time to warn you about something? Was it necessary for her to tell you?"
He shook his head no, he then decided that he had no choice but to come clean and tell her the truth, he took a deep breath and said. "It was…when I asked you out…back at the warehouse…when you gave me your number."
She then let go of his shoulders and stepped back slightly as a wave of shock began to wash over her. "You…your Pegasus?" She asked with a dumbfounded tone. He nodded his head yes in conformation as he rubbed the back of his neck. She then started to connect the dots, she instantly felt dizzy as she found this hard to process this new information. "I can't believe this, no wonder you already knew about the skates I liked, oh and thanks for those by the way BUT still…this is just…bonkers."
"Are you disappointed that it's me?" Max asked feeling nervous about her answer.
She looked back to him and said. "No, I'm just…surprised is all, but it's a nice one." There was a brief amount of silence as they stood facing one another in the alley.
"So I…suppose you'll be heading back to your timeline now huh?" Max asked with a shy smile.
She nodded her head yes and said. "Yeah, but before I go…" She then grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. His eyes shot open, his face began to burn bright red and his heart rate increased rapidly. She then broke the kiss as she smiled at his expression. "See you later pony boy." She said as she finally hopped through the portal.
He just sighed as he felt butterflies in his stomach fluttering around and the joy in his heart threatening to burst out of his chest. "I hope you realize just how dangerous that could've been Maxwell." His kwami Kaalki said with a tone of disapproval.
"Well we were planning on telling her the truth sooner or later right, besides there's no time like the present Kaalki." Max said back to her as he turned around to leave the alley, he immediately paused when he caught sight of Alex, in present day time. "Uh-oh…" He said feeling that this was going to be a bit awkward.
Alex just looked at Max slack jawed and asked trying to be clueless. "Was that…Bunnix?"
Max just sighed as he pushed his glasses back onto his face. "There's something I need to tell you." He said flatly as he prepared himself for what would be his second confession to her of the day.
Back at the safehouse Marinette had just finished taking a shower, Dallas was just making lunch for everyone and Adrien had stepped out to go on patrol as Cat Noir. He didn't really expect Dallas to try anything with Marinette for a few good reasons, one of which was she had already proved twice that she could easily beat him, which hurt both Adrien and Dallas's egos as men. After changing into a fresh outfit she headed back into the kitchen where Dallas had just finished lunch. But what Dallas had prepared for the two of them was not something she recognized at all. "What are those?" She asked as she eyed a plate full of small golden brown discs which both Dallas and his kwami were both enjoying very much.
Dallas then swallowed and said. "There called rocky mountain oysters, mom used to make these for me when I was a kid."
Marinette just giggled and said. "Wow, I didn't think you were that into seafood." Sense their name included the word oyster naturally she assumed it was seafood. "But don't you usually serve these on a shell?" She asked as she noticed a very noticeable lack of shells.
Dallas tried to fight off the smile that was threatening to curl up around his face as he didn't want to spoil the meal for her before she actually tried it. "Well that's the thing, they never had a shell. It was more of a protective…sack…if anything." He said trying with all the strength he could muster just to keep himself from bursting out into laughter.
Marinette's face then took on a confused look by his remark. "Uhhhhhh…what?"
"Oh never mind." He said as he picked one off the plate and tried to offer her one. "Here, try it and tell me what you think." Usually a chef would smile as they offered their food to someone which was not at all a reason to call for alarm, but the way Dallas was smiling was almost mischievous, which was what sent up a red flag to Marinette. She hmm'd and pulled out her phone then googled the recipe for rocky mountain oysters. "Mari come on you don't have to…"
"Shush you…" She interjected as she ran the search, and what she found was enough to make her stomach do backflips. "Are you serious right now?!" She shouted as she smacked Dallas in the head.
"What's wrong Marinette?" Tikki asked as she hovered near her shoulder. Marinette showed Tikki the phone screen, she recoiled in horror as she read the main ingredient.
"Oh come on girls, it's not that bad really they taste fine I promise you'll survive." Dallas tried to reassure.
Marinette just shuttered as she watched him pop another in his mouth. "How can you eat those things knowing what they are?" She asked with disgust.
"With barbecue sauce." He replied with a smug grin. "I've been eating these things sense I was four, sure I was reluctant to eat them at first after I found out what they were but I'm not just gonna stop eating them just because they're a cows…"
"STOP!" Marinette cried out. "Don't…say…another word…please."
"You are such a baby you know that, I mean you can fight off an army of supervillains but you can't fight the knowledge that these are cow balls?" He pointed out to her.
"I find them to be quite delicious." Spizz added as he took another bite of his food.
Both Marinette and Tikki just shuttered again as they saw them continue. "Where do you even get those things?" Marinette asked again.
Dallas then smiled and said jokingly. "Between the hind legs of a bull." And as a result he just started laughing, he laughed so hard he actually shed a tear, but neither Marinette or Tikki found this joke funny. "Oh come on you set me up for that."
"You know what, I'm just gonna have a sandwich, I already had a weird dream last night and I don't think I can take anymore weirdness because of you." Marinette replied as she made her way over to the fridge.
Upon hearing the words 'weird dream' Dallas's head perked up and the oyster slice he was currently holding fell back onto the plate, he then turned around and asked with a serious expression. "Weird dream? Weird how exactly?"
Marinette pulled out a package of ham, two slices of processed cheese and a jar of mayonnaise, she then closed the fridge and replied. "Well for starters I was just floating around in space at first, then there were these whales and this talking mountain lion and…well a lot of crazy stuff actually."
As Marinette placed everything on the counter and reached for the bread Dallas stood up out of his seat and forced her to turn around, he then said with a giant grin. "Marinette Dupain-Chang, I thing that dream you had was a vision quest!"
"Huh?" She asked with a confused look. "What are you talking about? Is that some kind of gypsy thing? Or is it a Lakota thing?"
"More like a native American thing all together, it's basically our ancestors rite of passage into adult hood, it's also our way of finding where we belong in the universe when the time comes for us to become a warrior." He replied still excited about her experience. "I think you might be the first Frenchy to ever have one, this is a really big deal Mari you have to tell me everything that happened down to the very last detail and don't leave anything out."
Marinette could tell that Dallas was taking this whole thing very seriously as his eyes were probably the widest she'd ever seen them, the same could be said for his smile too. "Uh…okay, but before I do, how do you know I had a vision quest exactly?" She asked feeling slightly skeptical.
Dallas was quick to explain. "Alright, there are two ways my ancestors would go on a vision quest, theirs the way I took, which was I had to go out into the desert when I turned nine and didn't have a single bit of food or water, basically I had to survive off of the land, then when the time was right I began to communicate with nature and understand the world, every bird and beast, every river every tree, and finally came the dream, in that dream I was surrounded by beasts of all shapes and sizes, but the one that spoke to me, the one that I knew was my guide…was the eagle."
That's when Marinette remembered a similarity from her dream and said. "That's almost exactly what happened to me, only my guide was a black mountain lion, and for some reason he sounded like Adrien."
"Well the guides are often shaped to look like the ones we trust the most so that's not surprising." Dallas pointed out.
"So what's the other way your ancestors had vision quests?" Marinette asked curiously.
"Well you should already know that one, they'd get high as a kite and just let the drug do the rest." Dallas replied.
"I'm surprised you didn't use the peyote instead." Marinette added.
Dallas just shrugged and said. "That's mostly because of my grandfather, he wouldn't let me touch that stuff, also he was a real stickler for tradition too, meaning my family always had to take the quest out in the desert where there was a slight chance that you could die from…well a lot of stuff really, like dehydration, starvation, rattle snakes, mountain lions, coyotes, heat stroke…"
"Yeah-yeah I get it a lot of ways to die in the desert." Marinette said in a way that basically said you can stop now. "Alright, so every last detail right?"
Dallas nodded and said. "It's very imperative that you do."
Both Marinette and Dallas sat down as she began to recall her dream. She assumed that each animal had some kind of meaning behind it but Dallas basically told her that if they didn't talk to her then they weren't important to the vision at all. She told him about the deceiver, which he wasn't expecting at all, but the part where she said it sounded like Lila didn't surprise him much. "Then after I told her off she just ran away like a coward, then what happened next was…really weird." She stated down to the very last aspect of her dream.
"Well don't keep me in suspense what happened next girl?" Dallas asked as his excitement was still showing all over his face.
"Well after that I saw myself getting attacked by…well I don't know who they were but they clearly didn't like me too much…" She said as she continued somewhat sheepishly.
"Wait, do you mean they attacked YOU you or you as in a double of you?" Dallas asked hoping she'd be more clear with him.
"It was a double of me, then after that I got into a fight with myself, as ladybug, although for some reason I…she…sounded like Lila too." Marinette answered honestly. "But I won the fight though just in case you were wondering."
"Sounds like a pretty serious vision. What happened next?" He asked as he rubbed his chin.
Marinette then closed her eyes as she tried to remember what came next. "Well…" She voiced. "The next thing I saw was that same dark figure that attacked me…my double that is…attack master Fu, only they killed him and stole the miracle box, so I attacked him, after I'd beaten him though…for some reason he looked a little bit like you, only older and with a little darker skin."
Dallas took notice of this, he hoped that who ever it was she was talking about wasn't who he thought it was. He then reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, he then pulled out a family picture with his mother, his father, himself and his brother and showed it to her as he asked as he pointed to his brother. "Did he look like this kid?"
She looked at the picture and said with surprise. "That's him, that's who I saw."
"Damn…" Dallas cursed. "I was hoping it wasn't him you saw in your dream."
"Why? What's the problem?" She asked twice.
Dallas put the picture away and said. "I'll tell you later, first tell me what happened after you saw master Fu getting killed."
"Okay…" She nodded her head. "After that I saw myself in a hospital bed, Adrien was there too, and he said something about…losing the two of us, I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean but it seems pretty serious."
"The two of you? Hmm…" Dallas started to rub his chin again as he pondered what that could mean. "Maybe he means his father?"
"Or maybe you too, he basically sees you as a brother from what I understand." Marinette also pointed out as a possibility.
"Very true, but until we figure it out we'll be walking on eggshells." Dallas said just before he got back on topic. "What happened next?"
Marinette then looked away from him and said with a sheepish tone. "I saw…Iktomi…and Cat Noir…fighting…it looked like you guys were trying to kill one another. And it looked like you'd been akumitized again."
Dallas sighed and said. "I'd hoped that this dream would have a happier ending to it, oh well. I don't suppose you know why it happens?"
"No, but that's not the part that worries me the most." She added. "I don't know why but for some reason…I don't think it was Hawkmoth who akumitizes you this time."
Dallas cocked his head back and asked. "It wasn't? Then who was it?"
"I don't know, but I do know they're female that's for sure." She replied calmly.
"Something tells me that we'll be getting a new Hawkmoth in the near future, but who?" Dallas wondered out loud. "Eh…we'll worry about that later."
"Wait, that's not all…just before I woke up I saw Lila standing in front of me just before she stabbed me, and in that moment I also saw this massive two headed eagle that was surrounded by a thunder storm, then I heard a baby crying then after that I just woke up." She said as she finally finished her dream.
Dallas's eyes just lit up with shock upon her last remark, then he said with a serious tone. "Mari, we need to take every single aspect of your vision into account, and we need to take it seriously down to every last detail."
Marinette then looked confused by what he was saying then she asked. "What for? You said it yourself this dream was meant for me to find my place in the universe."
"Normally yes that's what these dreams are for Marinette, but that all changes when you see the freaking thunderbird." Dallas clarified with what he considered the most crucial part of her dream.
"The…the what?" She asked as she was clearly confused.
"That eagle you saw, the one with two heads, that was the thunderbird, he's one of the most powerful spirits in the spirit world, and he's the only spirit that connects all the tribes together, he's the greatest guardian that my people respect more than any other spirit. It is said that he carries a mighty thunderstorm upon his back which rains upon those who's fields are in need and strikes down the wicked with a bolt of lightning hurled from its eyes." Dallas explained everything he knew of this powerful being. "If you saw him in your dream it can only mean one thing, your vision was a warning and everything you saw is going to happen, one way…or another."
This shocked Marinette, she was just confused at first but now that she knew that she had a vision sent to her by the other side she was scared beyond belief. But there was one thing that she still needed explained. "But…what about that baby crying? What was that supposed to represent?"
Dallas just shrugged and said. "Maybe it means your gonna have a kid soon. I mean after all the two of you were basically going at it like a couple of baby monkeys last night so it wouldn't surprise me in the least."
She narrowed her eyes at him with annoyance. "Gee thanks…" She said sarcastically.
"Well what do you expect when the walls are paper thin in this country?" Dallas asked rhetorically. "Plus it's not like you guys actually use condoms when you fuck each-others brains out, you've already made that clear." It was around that moment when Marinette got so frustrated with him that she stood up and started beating him like a drum, she didn't hold back even for a second as she just let all of her anger out on him all while begging for her to stop, even when he begged for their kwami's to stop her all they did was sit by and watch in horror as she just beat the stuffing out of him. "OW! What the hell?! OW, Mari stop OW!"
"JUST ONCE, CAN'T YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A PERVERTED LITTLE SHIT?! JUST ONCE!" She shrilled as she whaled on him with all her fury.
"Well maybe if you guys remembered to OW! GOD DAMN IT WOMAN!" Dallas cried as she punched him in the face.
"Should we help your owner?" Tikki asked as she looked over to Spizz, who then turned to her and said.
"I don't think that would be wise, especially sense I've never seen your owner like this." Spizz then flinched as he heard Dallas squeal due to the fact that Marinette had just kicked him in his groin. "Ooooooh, that is a tender area."
(A/N: And that's all for now everyone hope you enjoyed part one of the vision quest, also sorry again that it took so long to get it out, I really hate myself for not getting it out sooner, I just had a harder time with this one because I had very little inspiration for this chapter, it also doesn't help that my brother has asked me to help him with his own fanfic, which we are posting on my page just to be clear, it's another Miraculous fanfic but this one is based in the Viking era, so far it's pretty good too so when you get the chance or if you want to go and check it out, also just so you know he will be writing the author notes for that fanfic not me so please don't message me about how rude he is, he just doesn't take grief from anyone without breaking their noses, anyway time for the spoiler. In part two of vision quest Yuri makes a very innocent mistake, Gabriel pays Simon a visit in the Missouri state penitentiary and he helps him track down his brother for a much wanted family reunion, alright that's all for now everybody, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will try to get the next one out a little sooner. Also if you're interested in reading my brother's fanfic just search for Miraculous Valhalla, okay that's all everybody, bye for now.)
