I don't own these characters. DC/the CW does. I don't own the following things that get mentioned in this chapter: Grease (the movie), Mary Poppins Returns, and Hamilton.

A/N: So, I have a tumblr now if anyone cares, it's Slunatic.

5: Love and Love

Alex held Kara as she wept. The blanket Kara had burrowed into fell back to her bed a bit, peeling away from her like so many of her emotions. Her trust, her belief, her happiness, and her faith pouring out of her. The world was a little dimmer. Damn it, Lena, how could you do this?

"I'm so sorry," Alex said as she rubbed Kara's back.

"How could she do this?" Kara sobbed, clutching the edge of Alex's shirt.

Alex rested her forehead against Kara's head. "She just wanted to protect you." She did not want to defend Lena's act of stupidity and evil, but she needed Kara to calm down.

"Protect?" Kara's voice was shrill and her face was red. "I defend her from the worst of the worst and she goes and experiments on people — people society has already deemed lesser — and who don't have choices and she says it's to protect me?" Kara pointed to herself. "What made her think I'd be okay with that?"

"She didn't think that far. She just wanted to get people to stop hurting each other." That was probably what Lena had in her heart, but the execution was so far off, it was mind-blowing. Yes, people under stress did some outrageous things, but this was beyond. It was unimaginable.

Kara frowned and looked at Alex like she was an idiot. "She wanted to control people, just like Lex."

Alex winced. That was not far off. Even Lena's "for the greater good" was like Lex. He swore experimenting on people, creating super soldiers, would be a way to end wars. Lena had crossed the line where the end justified the means. Alex was not sure how Lena could come back from that, or even if Lena could come back from that in Kara's eyes.

"What do I do? I have friends calling me for a statement. A statement!" Kara laughed, quite hysterical.

Alex could not imagine what it was like to have colleagues questioning her. Humiliating and horrifying had to be in there, though. None of this was fair to Kara. Her reputation was just as damaged as Lena's now and her heart was broken. Lena had ruined their lives.

Alex gave her a squeeze. "It'll be okay."

Kara sniffled and wiped her face, even though she was still sobbing. "Can I stay with you for a few days? I just… I can't look at her right now."

Alex kissed her forehead. "Anytime. You know that." She had to do something. Technically, she got Kara involved in this mess. I never should've introduced Kara to Lena. Why the hell did I trust Lena? She was a terrible judge of people. "I've always got your back, Kara. You know that."

Kara nodded and managed to stop crying. They sat in silence for a while. Kara finally eased out of bed, grabbed a duffle bag, and began packing it, even though she really did not need it. She left more than enough of her things at Alex's place. Alex stepped out, checking on Lena.

Lena was on the sofa, head in her hands. She looked up as Alex leaned against the wall. Her face was flushed through her makeup, which ran with tears. Her clothing was rumpled and wrinkled. She was a mess.

"She's leaving me, isn't she?" Lena asked. She put her legs up on the couch and pulled them to her chest. She looked pathetic, and she was.

Alex shook her head. "Can you blame her?" Lena had done this horrible thing to taint everything she stood for, made a fool of Kara, and made Kara doubt Lena was the person she thought she was. How did Lena think this was going to end? Had she actually fooled herself into thinking Kara would be okay with this? Thought Kara would praise her for this?

Lena ducked her head and sniffled. "No."

"You do realize you've watered the fields of your legacy with gasoline, right?" Alex asked. She needed to know Lena understood she just set fire to her life's work.

Lena gave a weak wave. "I'll worry about that later. After all, what is a legacy? Especially to a Luthor. I worried over it, back when I first met you."

"I know you did. The Danvers name."

"But, it's not like that with Kara. You see I didn't take her name, didn't associate it with my work. She's always been the best of wives and the best of women. I've never deserved her, no matter how much I tried."

Alex could not deny that. "She's staying with me for a few days."

Lena nodded and sniffled, wiping her nose. "You'll take care of her, right?"

Alex frowned. "Of course I will." She had been taking care of Kara for more than half their lives. She had to make up for introducing this disaster into Kara's life, though. Kara did not need any more negative major life changing events, but apparently life did not discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It just takes and it takes and we keep living anyway. They did not have much of a choice, but it was not fair. Kara did not deserve any of this.

Lena stared at her with red, wet eyes. "You know I'm helplessly in love with her, right?"

Alex rubbed her eyes and sighed. "I know. She's the same with you. Sometimes, it takes more than that."

Lena gazed at her for a long moment. "Yes, I know."

Alex wanted to scream at Lena, but there was no reason for it now. Lena knew what she had done. And if she did not, she got a better idea when Kara exited the room with a duffel bag over her shoulder and did not glance in Lena's direction. Alex took the bag from her, as she was still recovering from her gunshot. They left without a word.

Lena did not even use the moment as her last chance to negotiate. She knew what she had done, knew it was done. There was no need to prolong the misery.

"I love you," Lena said to their retreating forms. It was possible she meant both of them. It was also possible neither of them cared at the moment.

Alex and Kara had to split to get to her apartment since Alex was on her bike and she did not think it was safe for Kara to ride with her injury. Kara jumped in her car and they would meet at Alex's place. That left Alex with her thoughts and the pain Lena inflicted with one terrible decision. One secret brought to light had damaged everything around them, burned like tears from the sun. One secret, but there were others.

You've got a secret don't you? You've got the nerve to be pissed at Lena, but you weren't pissed when you were texting her all hours of the night, pretending she was yours. Alex did not have the moral high ground. Her own secrets would hurt Kara as well and things did not have to be that way. She went about it all wrong. We've gone about this all wrong.

Alex knew what she had to do and she had to do it soon, immediately. If not, she was complicit. She could not go on hurting Kara. She had to put the fire out and she could only do that by lying it all bare.

They made it to the apartment together and Kara ordered pizza right after she stepped in the door. Alex dropped the bag by her bed. The little studio would hold them for a few days. It would not be the first time.

"I'm putting on something we can sing to," Kara said as she flopped down on the sofa.

"Whatever makes you happy." Until I ruin it again.

"Pizza and musicals are my medicine."

Alex laughed. "I know that. They have been known to work miracles." Junk food and musicians got Kara through the every anniversary of her family's deaths, got her through her first failing grades, got her through bullying in school (along with Alex punching a lot of people), got her through every breakup, and even got her through Alex leaving for college.

"I'll find something for us both," Kara said. So, that meant no Grease and no new Mary Poppins. It was a small favor, but very appreciated.

The pizza came, one cheese and one pepperoni, and they made camp on the sofa. Alex grabbed some wine to go with the pizza. Kara put on Hamilton. God bless Disney +, as they both loved this show. Lena did, too, but the memory did not slow Kara down in any of the songs. By the end, Kara seemed more like her old self, full and cuddly. She had her complete weight against Alex, as if Alex was not the smaller of the two of them. Alex was used to it, though.

"Kara, can we talk?" Alex asked. She was a little braver thanks to the wine, but this was all her. She had to rise up and do the right thing. She would fight for her sister, no matter what, and that started with the truth.

Kara glanced at her. "Of course we can."

Alex took a deep breath. "It's about a secret I've been keeping for a few years." You can do this.

Kara focused on her with big, blue eyes. "Secret?"

Alex scratched her head and then let out a long sigh. "I've been texting with Lena for years."

Kara scoffed. "I'd assume so. You two nerd out often enough."

"Who are you calling a nerd, nerd? And I don't mean the usual texting. It's…"Alex did not know how to put the texts into words. Okay, maybe not the texts, but the intent of the texts. The intent was the important thing, the reason she had kept it a secret. Well, that and you're a garbage human being. "I have feelings for Lena." That did not sound right. It did not capture her relationship with Lena at all. How else could she put it?

Kara snorted. "No duh."

Alex frowned as her stomach twisted into a knot and she grabbed her phone from her pocket. "No, Look." She shoved her phone at Kara. "I… I have affections for Lena?" Was that better? It still did not feel like it captured the full scope. Maybe I am stupid. I should be able to explain this, if not out loud, at least to myself. There was something vast about her relationship with Lena, something beyond, and she could not pin it down.

Kara pushed the phone away, pressing it to Alex's chest. "I don't need to see your texts. I bet it's just full of science stuff."

Alex twisted her mouth up and stared hard at Kara. "Well, yeah. Has Lena told you about it?" She did not think Lena talked about their text thread either. It always seemed they both agreed to never mention it, even if they had never spoken those words aloud. A silent understanding and vow, like their relationship itself.

Kara shook her head. "No. I don't need to see all of her texts or know everyone she's in communication with. I know you two have a special relationship outside of me."

Alex frowned again, deeper than before. She did not like how that sounded either. "That sounds like an affair."

Kara actually laughed. "It's not an affair. You two just have a special relationship and it's just between you two. That's fine."

It did not feel fine. None of this felt fine. Alex's stomach was set to wring itself dry and her throat burned like she might throw up. "You're letting me off the hook, even though this is bad."

Kara shook her head and grabbed onto Alex's hands. Kara gave her hands a squeeze. "I'm really not. I think you feel guilty over your emotions for Lena and this secret and you want to be punished. Maybe it's because there's already so much badness going on, but it's not as bad as you think. You're probably blaming yourself for all of this, too. This wasn't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. You don't need to be punished for anything."

Alex did not agree with any of that and thought Kara might be letting her get by because this was just too much to deal with right now. She should have waited. How could I do this? This was selfish. Of course it was because you're selfish.

Everything she did was selfish and caused pain. She introduced Kara to Lena to keep Lena in her life and then communicated with Lena behind Kara's back. She trusted Kara with Lena and that only hurt Kara. And, the piece de resistance, kissing Sawyer without her permission, without knowing her relationship status. She had lost them. Eventually, Kara would sort through what she really did and she would leave as well. It was all awful and it was all on her. No amount of pizza or musicals would make things better for her.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex was both surprised and not surprised when she woke up alone. She looked around the apartment and there was no sign of Kara. Even Kara's bag was gone. It made sense, even though Kara tried to make it seem like everything was all right last night. Alex had transgressed and lost Kara. No Kara, no Lena, no Sawyer. No one.

"You deserve it," Alex said as she threw her sheet off of her. Her stomach twisted and she felt like she was sick. Maybe I should lie back down and maybe I'll dissolve into the bed and never ruin anything ever again. Since that seemed unlikely, she put her feet on the floor and stood. She tipped, like she was about to fall over, but somehow managed to stay up and she went about her morning routine.

Dragging around the apartment to get ready for the day, Alex felt like sand replaced her muscles. The sand rubbed against her skin and bones, wearing her down. But, she deserved it. Selfishness had brought this upon her.

Alex managed to make it to work, lucky she could hide in her lab for the day. The sand inside of her was sharp and cut into her movements, making it hard to manipulate her instruments. How did she expect any of this to go? Everything had been doomed from the start. She had been doomed from the start. She thought it was Lena who flew too close to the sun, but she was Icarus more than anyone else.

The day crept at a petty pace. She was not sure how she made it through. She was not sure if she actually got any work done. No one came to her and complained about anything she sent out, so that was a good sign. She could not get out of the place fast enough when it was time to leave. Usually, work was her sanctuary, but she itched to get away, to escape the failure of her life, to flee from her inaction in the only space she was usually useful.

Alex made her way to the bar after work. Technically, it was Sawyer's bar, but it was really good and Alex was a masochist. At least she was a masochist with a drink in her hand. Whiskey helped wash down the guilt and disgust.

"You might want to take it easy," the bartender said as she moved to stand in front of Alex, as if she wanted to keep an eye on Alex.

Alex scoffed. "Why? I'm doing everybody a favor." She had already lost count of how many she had. It did not matter. Things might be best if she succumbed to alcohol poisoning. It would solve a lot of problems, save a lot of heartache.

An eyebrow went up. "By drinking yourself into oblivion?"

"Can't wreck any more relationships like this." Alex took a long drink from her glass.

The bartender snorted. "You and that cute girlfriend of yours have a fight?"

"She's not my girlfriend." Neither Sawyer nor Lena, but she had taken liberties with them, coveted then, pretended they were hers. Nothing was hers.

The bartender shook her head. "Could've fooled me."

Alex shrugged. "Guess we did." She downed her fourth? Glass. Maybe fifth? It did not matter. All it did was burn.

She spent her life collecting people who were not hers, pretending and fooling the world. No, fooling herself. She thought she had things under control with Lena and could not even talk Lena down in her moment of insanity. She lost Lena without ever actually having her. She lost Kara and Sawyer through selfishness, a craving for more when she did not deserve more. How dare she desire?

"Alex."

Alex blinked. She might need to slow down. It sounded like Sawyer called her name. No, don't stop. Let her haunt you. Let it all burn. She deserved the pain.

"Alex." Sawyer was suddenly in front of her.

Alex blew out a breath and shook her head. "I can't be that drunk. I never hallucinate." She had been drunk enough to know what happened and she had never seen things, not even during her worst college binges while grieving over her father.

"And you haven't started. Let's get you home." Sawyer grabbed her hand and Alex yanked away with enough force to fall off the stool.

Alex caught herself, stood up as best she could with the world upside down, and then put her hands up. "Don't touch me. You can't touch me."

Sawyer backed up and put her hands in the air as well. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry."

Alex glared at Sawyer as her head swam in whiskey. Suddenly, she had a million things to say to Sawyer, most of them revolving around why Sawyer should never touch her again. "Can I be real a second? Let down my guard and tell you how I feel a second?"

"Alex, I think you've had too much to drink."

That was probably true, but Alex still needed to say what was on her mind. "When you touch me, I get warm and fuzzy. It's nice and makes me want to kiss you." Which she was not supposed to do. She did not have a right to do that and she should not want to do that. There used to be a simple time when I had Kara and work and life made sense. Nothing made sense now and even whiskey could not fix her mess of a life.

Sawyer's face dropped. "Oh. Okay."

Alex's chin wobbled. She was not sure why. She was not on the verge of tears. Maybe it was the fury she felt toward herself. She was the worst. "Yes, how disappointing of me, but really exactly how I am. Selfish. So selfish."

Sawyer looked cute when her brow furrowed. "Danvers, what the hell are you talking about? You're far from selfish."

Alex blew a raspberry, complete with spit. "I'm all selfish. I kissed you without your permission. And…" She leaned in, meaning to whisper, but she could not recall how. "I've been having an affair with my sister-in-law."

Sawyer winced. "Okay that doesn't sound like you."

"Oh, but, it is." Alex held up a finger and wagged it. "And I introduced her to my sister. I was maid of honor at their wedding. I told my sister last night and broke her heart more than it already was. Everyone's gone. I am ruined." She hit herself in the chest with her fist. "Damn it, how could I do this?" It was all so bad.

"It can't be so bad."

"They're not talking to me. You're not talking to me. Everyone's gone. I brought it on myself. Selfish."

Sawyer sighed. "It's not like that, Alex. Come on, let's get you home." She waved Alex toward the door.

Alex did not argue, did not have it in her to argue. She was hollow now. The sand from earlier scratched out everything and the whiskey pushed out the sand. There was nothing left, inside and out.

Alex was not sure how, but they ended up at her door. She could hardly fit the key in the top lock. Sawyer had to help with the second, possibly holding the key hole straight. Alex could not be sure.

As soon as they were inside, Alex dropped onto the couch and wrapped herself in a blanket hanging over the back. It smelled like Kara. She bit her lip to keep down the emotion bubbling up in her chest. And then saw Sawyer, just standing there, staring at her. Bet you look pathetic.

"Can we talk?" Sawyer asked.

She had said her piece back at the bar. "I don't think I'm in a good place to talk about anything."

"When you sober up?"

"I'll probably just be worse." She would never be okay, never be able to face this, burning three relationships, two at the same time. She had nothing left.

Sawyer continued to look at her. "Should I just go?"

Alex burrowed deeper into the couch as a response. Sawyer sighed and made her way to the door. There was a soft click as it shut and the outside world was gone. Except, it was not. She could hear muttering outside her door. She was too fuzzy to figure out who or how many. It was hard to pay attention as the edges of her vision blurred.

Her body jumped as the door opened. It was Kara and Lena and the world faded to black.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex woke up in the middle of the night, head pounding, and she shuffled into the shower. That sand was back, but she scrubbed herself raw to be rid of it. Not the best idea. Now, she just felt stripped bare. There was nothing left but pain. She was only her pain.

She drank some water, swallowed a headache pill, and flung herself back onto the couch. She wrapped herself back in the blanket, feeling like it shielded her from anything else life might throw at her. Really? You think this is life. This is stuff you did to yourself. Alex shook her head to be rid of her thoughts.

She needed some kind of distraction. Her phone happened to be next to her. She did not recall putting it there, but she could not remember much right now. She checked her messages. Just one, from Kara. Call me when you wake up.

Well, it was four in the morning, so she would not be doing that. She emailed that she would not be in for work and put on Netflix. She managed a couple of episodes of The Witcher before going to bed. Maybe she would feel more like herself in the light of the sun.

The light of day did nothing but burn her eyes. She needed coffee, but of course she did not have any. Now, she would have to brave the world or greet the morning with a beer. The latter was tempting, but that was also a good indication of having a drinking problem. She did not have the bandwidth to explore that at the moment, so she skipped the beer and got dressed in some sweats in a hoodie. She opened the door and walked right into Kara and Lena. Sawyer was right behind them. They all jumped.

"Did you guys camp out in my hallway?" Alex inquired, looking around as if she would see any evidence to support that theory.

"No, we all just know you well enough to know you'd be up by now," Kara answered. She held up several cups. "We bought coffee." She nodded to Lena, who had a box in her hands. "And donuts."

"I don't need an intervention," Alex said.

"That's not what this is. Now, go sit down," Kara said, as if she gave the orders around here.

Of course, Alex sat on the sofa. Kara and Lena stepped in. There had to be some kind of agreement because Sawyer did not object as the door was shut on her. Kara and Lena took the opposite end of the couch. They were quiet, looking at each other rather than at her.

"So, what's going on?" Alex asked. She could not take much more of this. She just wanted to curl up on her couch and forget life was a thing for a while.

"After we talked the other night, I had to go talk to Lena," Kara replied.

Alex glanced at Lena. She was not sure what she had said that would lead Kara to think she should go talk to Lena, except maybe scream at her about the secret texting. "To confront her?" The question came out as a guess, as that was exactly what it was.

Kara smiled a bit. "Not at all. I wanted to know where her head was at with you, with me, with her experiment. Talking with you showed me that we think we know each other, but there's always something going on, so I wanted to find out what was going on with Lena and I couldn't wait. It was a good thing, even though the wound was fresh."

Lena nodded and patted Kara's knee. "It was very gratifying, even though it was grueling while it happened. I felt like I had gone through every Olympic event by the end of it, but it was worth it because I felt a physical weight lift off of me when we were done. Talking to her helped me better understand why I did what I did and I feel like I know how I can go about making this up to her, to you, to everybody."

"Making this up to me?" Alex could only repeat the words as it did not make sense to her brain. I might still be a little drunk.

"Yes. I know I face an uphill climb, but at this point, I have nothing to lose. I still have something to prove. To you, to Kara, to everyone. I'm going to start as soon as possible. I know you might not believe this right now, but you and Kara are everything to me. If you don't have faith in me, everything else is in vain," Lena said.

Alex held in a scoff and reached for the cup of coffee with her name on it. "I'll believe it when I see it, so talk less and do more." She glanced at Kara. "You're really okay?" A day ago, Kara's entire world had been blown away and now she was all right. That was fishy.

With a small smile, Kara nodded. "Like I said, the talking really helped and understanding where Lena was coming from helped. The fact that she listened when I told her everything wrong with what she did and how terrible it was and she was open to it. It was a lot, but I felt a lot better. I got to understand the disconnect between what Lena wants in her heart and what made sense in her head. I got to make sense of how I felt about everything that happened. Yes, it's still a process, but we got to a good starting place. We need to get you to that place, too." She pressed her hands together as if pleading with Alex.

Alex shook her head. "You guys don't have to worry about me." She was not sure how she felt about them reconciling so soon, not sure if she could trust Lena with Kara, she was not in the right headspace to voice any of that. She could not see how Kara was in the right headspace for it, but Kara always tried to look on the bright side of things.

"We do, because you're a part of us," Kara said.

"We're only partially joking about joint custody in the event of a divorce," Lena added.

"You're in this with us," Kara said.

"That's part of the problem. I shouldn't be in your marriage," Alex said.

"But, you're in our lives and our hearts. We love you, Alex," Kara replied.

Alex looked at Lena. "You told her?" While she and Lena had never said those words to each other, she was sure that was what this feeling was.

Lena motioned to her. "You started it and it was part of the conversation last night."

Kara nodded. "It's okay that you love each other. I always knew, but never understood the extent. After talking to both of you, I don't think you get the extent either. You're assuming it's an affair of the heart because that's all you can compare it to."

"We kept it secret, so obviously it was something," Lena said and Alex nodded.

Kara rolled her eyes. "Have you two ever had a romantic moment together?"

Alex flinched at the very idea and Lena frowned. "We'd never!"

"I know you wouldn't. I kinda get that you have an intimacy that excludes me, but I'm okay with that because you both need it. You're human. You need connections. You don't have a romantic love, but you have something deep and important to you and I respect that. You need it," Kara said.

"Like this?" Alex asked.

"You guys text each other about science. That's fine. You're not sexting or anything," Kara pointed out.

It was true, but it did not make Alex feel any better. Nothing Kara said made her feel better. "None of this negates us hiding it from you. Intent matters."

"Intent certainly matters. That was a big thing with my talk with Lena last night. I know the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, which Lena proved. But, what was your intent here, Alex? At some point were you going to jump Lena's bones?"

"No…" Alex honestly was not sure what her and Lena's intentions were. They had this thing that was more than friendship, but not a romantic relationship. There was an intimacy, but neither knew the extent or even the purpose beyond a connection they felt. "Still, doesn't erase the fact that we kept it from you."

Kara shook her head. "It doesn't, but that's like your guilt doesn't mean this is as bad as you think it is. This isn't as bad as you think it is. Well, your feelings and Lena's feelings."

Alex looked at Lena. She looked different from yesterday. She had seemed small before, but now it was like she was herself again, but humble. Her eyes had changed. There was a different sparkle there now. It was like meeting her all over again.

"I trusted Kara with you," Alex said. That would always make her weary of Lena now, remembering how far Lena fell, discarding Kara's feelings for her own desires. She wanted Lena to put Kara on a pedestal and maybe she did. Lena just worshipped in a different manner than Kara would want, willing to wage a crusade for Kara. It was something Alex hated that she understood. We're not so different and that's probably part of our connection. Maybe that was why Alex was so pissed.

Lena nodded. "I've always understood that responsibility. I'll do better. I will earn and deserve that trust once again. I just…want to wrap the world in bubble wrap for her."

"I know. I do, too. I just don't have the money for it," Alex replied. It was possible with Lena's resources she would be a mad scientist to protect Kara, and she might become that if she refused to consider Kara's point of view. We'll probably never know, though. "That might be part of why I'm so pissed. This idea that I might go that far, even though I know how Kara would feel about it. I don't want to throw away Kara's feelings in the name of protecting Kara."

"I don't need either of you to protect me. I just want you to love me how I love you," Kara said. "And I want you to stay true to yourselves instead of falling into these dark pits of despair. We're so much better than that."

Alex nodded, as did Lena. Kara smiled and slapped her hands to her knees. She stood up and went to hug Alex. Alex did not know how much she needed that until it happened. Her stomach untied itself from that knot and sand under her skin seemed to melt back into her body. She was a little put back together and Kara smiling at her as she pulled away only helped.

"I'm glad we worked that out. Now, me and Lena are going to scram because we still have stuff to work through and you have an appointment with Maggie," Kara said.

Alex's forehead scrunched up. "Maggie?"

Kara sucked her teeth. "Detective Sawyer." Of course Kara would be on a first name basis with her. "She seemed like she wanted to say a lot last night, but she said you didn't want to talk to her."

Alex blew out a breath. "Yeah, I messed up with her."

"Like you messed up with us?" Kara smirked and hugged Alex again.

Before Alex could retort, Lena hugged her, too. The world somehow felt right again and her shoulders were lighter. She hugged them both back. She needed to hold onto them, onto this. No more secrets and more discussing what was going on in her head. They were all she had.

"We love you so much," Kara said and she kissed the top of Alex's head. It was something she would usually do to Kara, but it was nice to be on the receiving end for once.

Alex barely had time to adjust in her seat when Sawyer was now where Kara had been a second ago. They looked at each other and then looked away. Alex's heart pounded. The last thing she wanted was to be vulnerable with Sawyer again, but it worked with Kara and Lena.

"So…" Alex said with the hope Sawyer would say something.

Sawyer took a breath, straightened her spine, and looked Alex directly in the eye. "I'm sorry about how all of this went down."

Alex held up her hands and waved it off. "You don't have anything to apologize for. I was totally out of line."

"That's just the thing, you weren't. I've been half-flirting with you since we met. I've liked you since our bar fight. I'm in awe of damn near everything you do. You're smart, badass, ride a motorcycle, and can shoot a gun, I'd propose to you…" Sawyer winced, like she did not mean to take it that far.

"If you didn't have a girlfriend?"

Sawyer's shoulders fell. "I don't have a girlfriend anymore. We broke up not too long ago. The relationship had been dying a slow death and we didn't want to face facts. The night you kissed me was a hard truth."

"Great, I'm such a home-wrecker."

Sawyer shook her head. "Not with me, and not with you sister from what she told me."

"Of course you two are friends."

Sawyer smiled. "We talked last night, both trying to see you and get you to talk. She's adorable. We all want you to stop hurting, stop being so hard on yourself, because you're so special. You don't give yourself credit. You're tearing yourself down so much, you don't even remember I kissed you back."

Alex did not recall that. "No, you didn't." I was drunk and imagined that.

"I did. I wanted that kiss, Danvers. I want you, but I want to do right by you. You deserve all that and more."

Alex shook her head. "You don't want me."

Sawyer scoffed and then grinned at her. It was like she knew those dimples were weapons. "I really do. You're amazing, Doctor Agent Alex Danvers. And I'd be honored if you'd let me take you out on a date."

"Really?" Somehow, this felt like a trick or a trap. Maybe a dream. It was possible she was still asleep. She sipped her coffee, as if that would make her up. It did not. This was reality.

"Really." Sawyer slid closer, still making sure to maintain eye contact. "I don't want to miss this chance… well, if there still is a chance. I'm hoping there is." She must have seen something in Alex's eyes because she smiled. "I won't throw away my shot. May I take you out?"

Alex gnawed the corner of her bottom lip. "I'd like that."

And there were the dimples again. Alex never stood a chance. No, she would not throw away her shot either.

-8-8-8-8-

The next few months were busy for Alex and her great loves. Now, she was so far from giving up. She worked on her relationship with Kara and Lena while they worked on their marriage as well as Lena's reputation. They had a lot of work ahead of them.

Their marriage was most important, so they did couple's therapy, as well as other things to strengthen their bond. Lena also saw her own therapist, recognizing she had issues she needed to work through, especially considering she had not really talked about Kara being shot, someone trying to kill her, or the fact that Kara would die for her. That was so huge Lena talked about it with them every time she got out of therapy. Alex followed their lead, went to therapy and also made a few more friends. She recognized she needed more substance in her life.

All of that was easier than defending Lena and L-Corp to the public, but they had to take a stand. Thanks to the press, Lena was under mad scrutiny and she had to deal with a mass mutiny at L-Corp. No one took into account Lena was young, scrappy, and hungry and she had her best friends by her side.

Lena's redemption happened in stages, which started with Lena coming forward and explaining why she did what she did. That part took almost two months. Alex quietly supported that. She was more involved in the next phase, which was Lena doing much more visible good things for people. Not all help to mankind had to be scientific. Sometimes, it was fixing a park in a neglected neighborhood or donating to public schools or just sponsoring things to get kids into science. It was amazing to watch Lena rise to the occasion. Her legacy would be repaired.

While doing those things, Alex continued to date Sawyer. Sometimes, she brought Sawyer along with her, mostly at the urging of Kara. So, Sawyer got a chance to get to know Kara and Lena fairly well early on in their relationship. It was something else to think about where they started and where they were now. It was a miracle.

Alex was not surprised to be on a "double date" with Kara and Lena after dating Maggie for a few months. They had done that several times. The surprising thing was the location. It was movie night at Kara and Lena's place, crowded together on the sofa. The other surprise was Kara and Maggie double-teaming Alex and Lena as they complained about the scientific inaccuracies in the movie. They could shush with the best of them.

"You two have a science text thread. Please use it, so we can enjoy the movie." Kara motioned to herself and Maggie. Her hand had to pass in front of Alex, who resisted the temptation to lightly pop her knuckles.

"We're clearly improving the movie for both of us," Alex said. While Maggie was not in with Kara and Lena enough for all of them to cuddle together, Kara still made sure to sit close enough to Alex if she decided to put her head on Alex's shoulder.

"Not to mention, you guys love us because we're nerds." Lena had her arms wrapped around Kara.

Maggie snapped her fingers. "Damn, she's got us there."

Kara threw her hands in surrender. Alex pulled Maggie close to her chest. Maggie wrapped her arms around Alex.

"So, you love me?" Alex asked, whispering in Maggie's ear.

"Ever since I kicked your ass at the gun range."

Alex chuckled a bit. "Is that what happened?"

"That is what happened."

It was what happened and it had been hot. Alex kissed Maggie's cheek. Maggie turned, smiled, and kissed Alex's lips. Alex kissed back and they were suddenly making out. And Alex's phone went off. She checked the "science" thread, which was the name of a text thread between all four of them. The "other science" thread was the one between just her and Lena that Kara felt they needed for discussing actual science.

It was strange the day Kara told Lena and Alex that they needed their own text thread again. They had been trying to upfront about what they were doing and Kara got to see everything they ever texted about was science related. It was just how they talked to each other. With their own thread established, they continued old conversations, but the feeling was new, freeing. They were not doing anything wrong. There was no secret. That gave Alex peace of mind and that was enough. A message from Lena awaited her. Stop what you're doing and watch this nonsense!

"Lena, can you not complain about the movie while I'm trying to make out with Alex?" Maggie said.

"I just don't think it's fair Alex gets to escape bad science with make outs. She has to suffer with me," Lena replied.

"We could always just watch Grease again," Kara said.

"No!"

"We have all suffered enough," Alex said.

They laughed and settled back into the movie. Kara rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Alex and Lena complained via text. Each time she put the phone away, Maggie kissed her. This was so perfect. She was satisfied with life.

-8-8-8-8-

The End.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read the story. I hope you guys enjoyed this. I hope you continue to read and enjoy my work. Also, thanks to my beta, TheCrowDawg.

Again, let me say, I now have a tumblr: Slunatic. Please, come say hi to me on Facebook and keep up with my musings and find out more about my writing. You can check out my books on Amazon under SL Kassidy. For now, I'm heading back to my padded room. Back with more eventually.