Around 15 years ago, on a New Years Eve.
It was a snowless winter.
Maybe it was snowless because of how warm that night was to him.
Doing nothing in particular, knowing nothing of the world, the small child was only enjoying the New Years Festival with his mother, hand-in-hand.
Indeed, he knew nothing of the world, but he knew about his mother.
Absolutely kind, absolutely reliable, and absolutely loving.
To him who had never known his father, she was his symbol of love, family and happiness; she was everything right with his life.
That's why he didn't need to be doing anything in particular.
He didn't have anything to prove, anything to deny, or anything to fight.
There was no need to struggle or suffer. All he needed was his mother's warmth.
She would give him a small cone of ice cream, hold his small hand in hers, smile at him and laugh with him.
She taught him how it felt to be loved unconditionally.
And the symbol of all of that love and warmth was always in a simple gesture that Mom would repeat, time and time again.
A nice, tight hug. She would cradle him tight to her heart, and there he would feel the most warm.
She would do it often; everyday, actually, if he remembered right.
Every morning before he left the house and whenever he returned, she would give him a good old hug.
Then he would know that no matter how cold, dark or scary the world outside was-
His first time getting hurt in the playground, his first day at school, his first time getting bullied-
It would all be okay because Mama was there for him at the end of the day.
Mom was his sole provider and only guardian. More than that, she was all he ever needed.
She worked a job just to be able to support him, so she wasn't always able to spend all her time with him, but he understood.
That just went to show how much she loved him.
She would always show him through her actions; hugging him, telling him I love you, spending her free time with him…
She would never miss a day of that, no matter how tired she seemed from work.
The hugs his mother gave him marked the best period of his life; the days when he felt most peaceful.
Perhaps that's why when she wasn't there anymore he felt restless.
Perhaps that's why he hadn't had a hug from anyone for over a decade now.
When Atago rushed over to hug him, he was caught by surprise.
That was the first time anyone had hugged him in a long time.
He heaved a sigh as he thought about the person next to him.
Atago's ears twitched.
He had never particularly thought about it before, but now he was starting to see the resemblance between her and his mother.
Loving, nurturing, kind older women.
But that place in his heart had already been taken by his mother, and she would never leave.
Such was the bond between a parent and her child.
He felt eyes on his back and wondered just how long she had been staring at him.
Shikikan hoped it wasn't very long.
He resisted the urge to heave another sigh and turned his head to face her.
"Did you want something?" He started.
She shook her head. "No, not really. Why?"
"I feel like you've been staring at me."
"Ah. Is that so? Well, you've been sighing quite loudly, but no, I didn't particularly want anything."
"Okay."
"But if I were to want anything," she chimed in with a grin, "it'd be why you're sighing like that. Is there anything on your mind?"
She scurried over before he could reply. "You can tell Big Sis anything, you know."
It was always a bit strange how she referred to herself when talking to him.
"I don't really see you as a Big Sister to me, you know."
"Eh!?"
She sounds excessively shocked.
"Of course, you're definitely something like that to everyone else in the base, but to me you're more like a little secretary, you know."
Though it was hard to call her little…
Her ears drooped. He saw an opportunity. "See? Your ears are drooping. I can read you like a book," he teased.
"Hm~? Ara, what a coincidence. I can also read you like a book, you know? In fact, I've been thinking that I can read you better than you can read me. I'm confident in my eyesight, you know."
Well, she was certainly right there. It was still unclear to him whether that was because she was a shipgirl or not, but the result remained the same; she probably could read him better than he could read her.
Not like he'd ever admit that to her, though. At least not right now.
"Hmmm? Hmmm? Is that so? I don't think so. Wanna bet?"
"Ara. What great timing, Shikikan. Why don't we see about that later, at game night? I bet you won't be able to see through my poker face," she smirked.
Game night, huh. He wasn't particularly averse to the idea, but…
"Game night? Isn't that what Laffey and the others were preparing for a while ago? If they prepare for it like that I'm not sure I wanna go, though…"
He had many strange experiences in his life and that one was up there.
"What's this~? Chickening out~?" She cooed.
"Of course not. Don't say I didn't warn you."
Atago gave a reserved giggle, one that sounded like it was designed to taunt rather than giggle. "You're on."
"Ah. By the way, let's go to that New Years Festival as well. It's only a few weeks away, isn't it?"
"New Years Festival, huh?"
He heard about it here and there but didn't really consider going. He hadn't been to one of those in a long time, after all, between all the work there was to be done.
And as his secretary said, December was only just about starting, so it was still a few weeks away.
"Yeah," his secretary nodded and looked into his eyes, all traces of playfulness gone. "Let's go there together."
"Sure…" He dragged his eyes away from hers.
"Ara? Commander, your cheeks are getting red."
"Shuddup."
Atago was having a good day.
Sure, it started off a little bit rough. He seemed really confused when she started coming on to him less subtly, which was a big downer for her. Especially when she was taking such a risk in practically jumping him.
Then she overheard how well Shikikan was doing while she was away, and how he even went as far as to call Cleveland feminine.
It hurt to hear that he said that when he hadn't even said that to him.
But it all got better when he said what he did.
Of course you're important to me.
She didn't think she'd ever forget that moment. Then they hugged. She should practically be pregnant by now.
Atago sighed in appreciation.
Good food, a warm hearth, and a loving family to come back to.
As someone who had all of these things, there was nothing more she should've wanted. That was what she thought.
But fast forward a few months, and she found herself wanting something else - no, someone else.
It was greedy, strange, and definitely reckless. And it was embarrassing enough to turn her ears red even now. Not the wolf ears, of course.
But she was thankful. That greedy, reckless pipe-dream looked closer and closer to reality every day.
Today she got to see a side of the Commander that she never thought he had; a cute side.
For all his competence and confidence he flushed so often he might as well have been a tomato, or a toilet.
Of course, he didn't do so naturally. She had to take the initiative to fluster him. That was a challenge in and of itself; one that she had to consult many wise women to overcome, but she was able to pull it off. The only catch was that she would be very embarrassed herself after.
She just had to calculate what she would do and focus on doing it without looking back, without hesitating, and without swallowing any words.
Then the embarrassment could come in afterwards. That was fine.
If he was the only one getting flustered, she would feel pretty dominant, which suited her; she had been a dominant older (slightly overbearing, she heard) sister for her whole life. She wasn't going to stop now.
But there were times when she got to be vulnerable around him.
Like when he said those sweet things a while ago about her being the most important one in his life right now…
So sweet. It was so sweet she gave her a hug before she could stop herself.
That definitely wasn't calculated.
She didn't have to be dominant in those times. She didn't have to be the older sister in those times.
In those times she was just his secretary and he was just her Commander. He was just just him and she was just her.
No pretenses, no pretending. Just being honest with each other; complete trust and vulnerability.
That was the type of relationship she had with her siblings and not with anyone else, but it would be great to add him to that list.
"Woof, woof!"
"You think so too? Hehe."
She heard a barking sound.
At the moment she was carrying her little dog that the Commander gifted her - sweet - back to the dormitory.
It was quiet most of the time, even when they took him out of the shelter, when they put him into the car, and during their whole trip home.
Then he continued to be quiet as they had a moment and walked through the bridge together.
That man. How did he know she wanted a dog?
Maya, her mind seemed to be telling her. She couldn't bring herself to disagree.
Indeed, all of them had been thinking about a dog somewhat. Takao and Choukai didn't seem to really want one out of fear that it would make a dirty stinky mess everywhere, but Maya seemed to want it enough to make up for the both of them.
The inner machinations of that girl's mind were an enigma.
Maya probably spoke to the Commander. She giggled to herself at the thought of a little Maya jumping up and down, begging him to buy one for them.
It was almost like he was their older brother already…
"Bark!"
This dog had the strangest timing when it came to making noise.
It was as if she were reading her thoughts and reacting to them.
"Bark!"
"Ara? Is that so? You know what I'm thinking?"
"Woof, woof!" His tail wagged and he panted harder than before, as if to say yes.
How cute.
She had already arrived at her dormitory to drop off the dog, then she would go back to attend to the Commander. She would probably enjoy it.
"Alright, out you go," she said, lowering the cage and letting the dog out.
"Woof!"
He panted happily and wagged his tail.
So cute.
The dog was chasing its tail a bit and looking around. Looks like it was examining its new home.
She could see Kaga, Akagi and Nagato quickly approaching from her peripherals.
"What is the meaning of this, Atago?" Nagato boomed.
She had a lot of authority, being their flagship. Atago thought it was pretty cute.
"It is exactly what it looks like, Nagato."
The small battleship looked at her, then to the dog, then back at her, then back at the dog.
Then she nodded at her, which she returned.
"Very good."
Nagato squatted down and started petting the dog on the back and behind the ears.
"Who's a good boy? You are? Yes you are."
The dog seemed to have no reaction except to have no reaction. It stood still and let Nagato enjoy its fur.
"Wow! Nice dog," Akagi complimented.
Akagi was a very nice girl. It's just that she had a bit of a wide smile, which tended to give people the wrong first impression about her. She really meant well.
She knelt down and joined the petting. She would stroke wherever Nagato wasn't stroking.
"Good boy, good boy!"
She really seemed to be enjoying herself.
The dog just stood there, stoic and unchanging. It looked kind of cool.
Come to think of it, there were a few parallels between this dog and the Commander.
This small thing was black and white, very quiet, and very stoic, just like Shikikan was when he first came here.
Maybe over time he would mellow out and take more initiative to play with the others.
That would be really cute.
"Woof, woof!" The dog barked at her.
Atago did what came naturally, and started petting him as well. "Good boy, good boy."
He stopped barking after that.
Atago idly thought that this dog and Shikikan were about equally cute.
As if she snapped out of a trance, Nagato shook her head and asked, "What's his name?"
Her hand was still petting him though.
"Name, huh…" Atago pondered out loud while petting him.
"How about Shiki?"
"Isn't that the Commander's first name?" Kaga chimed in.
You remembered that?
"Hm…" she got a little bit rougher with her petting.
"Then how about A?" it was Akagi's turn, apparently.
"A? Why A?"
"It'd be funny if he comes along whenever someone screams 'Ah'. Then if someone screams 'Ah', you wouldn't know if they were actually screaming or calling for the dog."
Akagi covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed to herself while she petted the dog with the other hand. She was a good person but had a bizarre sense of humor…
"Ah," Atago had it. "How about Ji?"
"Ji? Isn't that even worse? He sounds like a grandpa," Kagi said.
"I think it'd be funny if we called him jii-chan (grandpa)."
Kagi shrugged. "Your choice."
"Hehehe. You hear that, Jii-chan?" The small dog's ears folded under her hands like paper.
"Woof!"
The birds cried, the sea trembled, and the moon shone.
A menacing atmosphere was always necessary for the legendary Game Night, hosted every other evening on a whim.
Graf Zeppelin had been reading about how often kids in Southeast Asia had their classes suspended because of typhoons and holidays, which was pretty often.
She estimated that Game Night was hosted on a whim about as often as their classes were suspended.
Add to that the fact that it was already hosted every other day, and you had an almost daily event.
She felt that the frequency of these game nights had been steadily increasing, and like a dam breaking under the pressure of a raging river, their flagship, Bismarck, might soon announce daily game nights.
"Game night, start!"
Ah, she just announced it.
But Graf Zeppelin was not concerned with such a meaningless thing as game night.
"Hey, let's go! Let's play some Jenga!"
A small girl with red twintails tugged on her sleeve.
"Yes, yes. I'm coming." Her voice sounded hollow even to herself.
The birds could cry as loud and long as they wanted. The sea could tremble as much as one of those horribly overpriced massaging chairs she had seen around town. The moon would continue to shine as much as it wanted.
But they would stop there, and that was Graf Zeppelin's concern.
Somewhere along the way, she had felt life to be totally meaningless.
This resulted in some deep but acute psychological pain, as if her spirit was internally bleeding.
The routine of waking up, saying something nice to her peers, playing some random game, and going back to sleep was beginning to weigh on her after so many years.
Life's meaninglessness was a truly painful idea to entertain.
"Alright, let's get started!" San Diego opened her mouth wide in an ear-splitting grin.
"Yes."
Graf couldn't begin to understand how or why she always seemed so happy.
After all, it wouldn't make any difference in the end whether they spent their moments happy or sad; in tragedy, or in harmony.
It would all end the same.
The figure of a moustached german man seemed to appear in the sky for her.
Thanks, Nietzsche. Very cool.
Perhaps it would've been better if there were an enemy of some sort for her to apply herself to.
She wasn't like that freak ship Enterprise, who applied herself everyday no matter what, despite the acute lack of enemies to fight.
Perhaps if that air carrier kept doing that, she would eventually go bald and gain tremendous power.
But the Zeppelin needed a purpose; a reason to its rhyme; meatballs in her spaghetti.
As far as she could remember, she was always the type of person to ask why. She would get the task done right now, at least, but afterwards, she would have to ask why. That why did not exist in this world.
Anything would be fine. Other humans, other shipgirls, though she loathed the thought, dinosaurs, or even aliens, ridiculous as that may have sounded.
She just needed something to justify her existence.
"Hey! Hey, Zeppy! Are you listening?"
Graf heaved a sigh. She would've told San Diego off for calling her that, but she found such a thing utterly meaningless.
She would probably just do it again in the next 2 minutes. Life was meaningless like that.
"No."
"Hmph!" She pouted. "Here are the blocks. Let's play."
"Okay."
She beamed for a second and started setting the tower on its foundations. One block on the floor.
"Your turn!"
She already knew that. What a meaningless thing to say from her end.
She put another block slightly apart from the next block. Something was coming into her mind but it could wait. She felt perpetually lethargic.
"Un!"
Graf Zeppelin found San Diego's oxymoron meaningless.
This was tough. Why did everything have to be so empty?
"Hey, it's your turn, Graf!"
The white-haired girl furrowed her brows. Surely there was a better way to go about this?
"Hey, San Diego. I don't think we are playing this correctly."
"Hm!? What do you mean!?"
San Diego seemed to be trying to reflect concern but her eyes were more like those of a panting puppy.
"We should build it up to the 3rd floor first so we can have a standard to build it off of."
"That's what we're doing."
"Sorry, my mistake. I meant you should do it."
San Diego cupped her chin and closed her eyes as if deep in thought.
"Hm… Yes… Yes… I see…"
She opened her eyes. "Okay. I'll do it, because I am number one. I know you are only asking me to do it because you are number two, after all."
Graf briefly wondered where she got that idea, but that, too, was meaningless.
She watched as the small ball of energy assembled the jenga tower up to the 3rd level so quickly that she could barely see her arms.
"Here!"
"I see. Good job." She ruffled San Diego's hair.
"Mhm! Praise me more! I am number one!" She seemed to like that.
"Alright, let's play."
"Alright!"
Graf placed a block; the first in the level.
San Diego placed a block.
Graf placed a block; the third in the level.
San Diego, after much careful deliberation and overt chin stroking, placed yet another block. But this wasn't just any block. This block… was in the middle of the level.
Graf… placed a block.
"Hm!?" San Diego screamed in horror in a subtle way.
Good on her for not making too much noise.
"A clever move indeed. As expected of one who is able to stand up to the number one."
She just placed the block on the right though…
"Fufufu. But you see, the thing about being number one… is that there cannot be a two!"
San Diego, having delivered her one-sentence monologue, placed a block with a plap, and the tower seemed to shake under the power she put into it.
She might have been able to monologue for longer if she had more brain cells.
"Fufufu." She put her hand on her face in a menacing pose. "Now, what will you do?"
Graf Zeppelin took another block… and put it on the tower.
"What…!?"
San Diego placed another block.
Graf Zeppelin placed another block.
"Are you… going easy on me?"
The bigger ship didn't want to dignify that with a response, so she stared at her.
"Getting too cocky, are we!?"
She placed another block.
Eventually, the tower became as tall as Graf Zeppelin, and more twisted than the Tower of Pisa.
But while the Tower of Pisa was tilted, this tower rotated like a DNA spiral.
Architects around the world may have wanted to take notes on how this wonder was built.
"I am… number one!"
San Diego had been jumping perfectly to place her blocks since a while ago, and it seemed that this time was no exception.
Graf heaved a sigh.
Then she let herself smile.
Maybe life was meaningless… but there was still fun to be had.
Eating delicious food, spending time with a loved one, and destroying the hard work of others.
These were the things that gave her life happiness. Not meaning, mind you, but happiness.
"Whoops." She stabbed the tower with a block.
The whole thing came crashing down, making no small amount of noise. San Diego looked on in disbelief.
It was still intact from the point where she stabbed it upwards, though.
"Oisho." Graf kicked the remainder of the tower gently, letting it collapse in a neat heap at her feet.
She made sure that the kick wasn't strong enough to send the pieces flying, otherwise it would be too much of a hassle to fix. She wasn't a monster.
"Aha~! I am number one!"
The little one seemed to be happy with what she did, which was convenient. Now she didn't need to justify her obviously intentional sabotage.
Then again, maybe she just didn't notice that it was intentional. She wouldn't be surprised.
"Um…"
A masculine voice. Eyes wide as saucers, Graf turned around.
"Commander!?"
"Yes. Can we join the next round?"
Atago stepped out from behind him. For some reason, she was so perfectly behind him that she was barely visible, as if she were his shadow.
For some other reason, seeing her come out of his shadow like that also reminded her of their difference in size, and that made her feel something in her heart.
It was a strange thing that she couldn't describe apart from a sound like kyun.
"Ah. Okay."
Reassured that the Commander wasn't about to scold her for letting the Jenga down, she sat herself down and patted the spaces next to her.
"Please sit."
"Do we have to?"
"Shikikan, it's easier to sit in the early stages of Jenga because the tower is short, you know."
"Ah, I see."
Atago butting in to answer other peoples' questions was always something to be thankful for. Thumbs up.
"Hm? You're joining? Very well. Let's see if you can put up a fight against me. They don't call me number one for nothing."
Graf Zeppelin had been thinking this for a while now, but no matter how hard she tried San Diego will never look intimidating…
War is all about deceiving your opponent. If you are far, appear near; if you are near, appear far; if you are weak, appear strong; and if you are strong, appear weak.
Thanks, Sun Tzu.
According to this old Chinese tactician, confusing Atago by picking Jenga instead of Poker was the right thing to do.
She would be so confused that she wouldn't be able to put her all into the game. While she asks herself, Oh why did the Commander do this!? I am so confused and intimidated because of the master plan he has, Shikikan will take victory right from beneath her nose.
He was a military man. A commander, even. He knew what he was talking about.
"Shikikan, it's easier to sit in the early stages of Jenga because the tower is short, you know."
"Ah, I see."
What!? Why is she not cowering in confusion!?
A trick. It had to be a trick. By bluffing that she was calm, she would convince him that she had a master plan and confuse him into submission. But it wasn't going to work.
He could read her like an open book!
"Let's have 4 blocks per floor," Graf said.
"Yes. Let's," he replied.
Anyway, enough of these charades. It was time to start with the real game.
The reason he chose Jenga was because in addition to being a military commander, Shikikan had some Jenga experience. He played Jenga like, twice before, and learned that he always tended to win when he placed his block on the right.
He had this in the bag.
5 minutes later…
Of course, it went without saying that the earliest stage of Jenga was the most boring. That was why he let it pass without event, practically meditating on the floor, as it were.
But now that the tower reached up to his hip, it was time.
He looked at Atago. She was looking at him intently.
What's with her!?
She giggled.
"What's wrong, Atago?" Graf's voice rang out.
"It's nothing. Oisho," she placed the block on the rightmost side.
This was bad. He was cut off from his best spot. At this rate, he would fail!
But he only let his eyes widen marginally. He could not be deceived, and he could not be read.
There were 4 blocks per floor and 4 of them. Atago would place hers first, followed by San Diego, Graf, and then him, in that order.
He was in the clear as long as his block was even a little bit right.
"Alright," Graf Zeppelin said as her and San Diego's block took up all the spaces except the very left.
I'm doomed.
He let nothing show on his face.
"Ara, ara. Why are you taking so long, Shikikan?"
He met her eyes head on. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Saying that, he placed a block on the leftmost spot.
San Diego nodded at them for some reason, as if acknowledging something.
Graf Zeppelin smiled at them, as if having realized something.
Atago scratched her head in frustration and heaved a sigh.
At least he had something to show for his efforts; it looked like the other party was frustrated.
Shikikan's heart was beating wildly in his chest as his lungs almost hyperventilated. He showed none of it on the outside.
It was time for him to press his small advantage through Psychological Tactic 101: Small Talk.
"Do you know why I picked this game, Atago?"
"No," she placed her block.
Oh. That was straightforward.
"It's because…" he observed as it became his turn to place a block again.
"In this game, he who can read his opponents controls the world."
Spout some drivel and have them over analyze it.
Atago nodded. "Okay."
At least twitch your ears! Do something!
Before he knew it, the tower had grown up to his height. Then the only block left for him was the leftmost one again.
"Darn it…"
At this rate, it seemed that he wouldn't be able to win.
Atago was looking at him intently, no doubt wishing for him to fail.
He heaved a sigh.
Clack. The block seemed to click into place.
But it was still no use. As long as these superhumans were still here, he would probably be the first to mess up. Besides, he was getting sleepy.
Yawn.
San Diego was able to repeatedly place blocks perfectly while jumping up. He couldn't win against such overwhelming power. As expected of the legendary number one.
"Oisho."
The room was filled with clacking as their Jenga tower collapsed.
Atago…!
"Well, Commander, don't you have to go home now? I'll see you off."
It felt quite fast, but…
Yawn.
"Yes, please."
Every game night, the sea did indeed tremble as the moon shone and the crows cried.
It was a beautiful evening, and stars filled the sky. Perhaps that was because they were on an island in the middle of the ocean.
Yes, perhaps. Perhaps that was the reason. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, though.
Yawn.
"Ah, geez, Commander. You should have just said so if you were this sleepy."
"Hm? I'm sleepy? What makes you think that?"
Yawn.
"That."
"You're right…!"
His eyes felt opened to the fact that they were closing.
"Geez…"
They continued in comfortable silence for some time, just like before.
He had to make some small talk.
"How's the dog I gave you…?"
"It's good. Conserve your energy, please."
"Aw, come on. I'm not that sleepy."
Her eyes softened. "Maybe you aren't. I'm sorry. It's just worrying for me… why don't I walk you home?"
"No need to be sorry. I can go home myself. Besides, I left my car here."
"I insist. I can't drive, but I can at least be in the car with you so I can do something in case something happens."
"That'd be nice… Okay."
She smiled. "Thank you."
I should be saying that…
A few minutes later they entered the car without incident. Shikikan took the driver's seat while Atago took shotgun.
Yawn.
"Be careful."
"Okay."
Tonight he drived safely and surely, with a modest speed that never exceeded 40kph.
She seemed so worried, after all. It wouldn't do to worry her more than this.
The red, green, and yellow lights seemed to blind him a bit, but he kept his bearings and arrived at the apartment without incident.
As always, he parked his car, locked it, and he would've went to the building.
But something was different today.
"Thanks for accompanying me."
She smiled, her eyes narrowing at him. "You're welcome."
"How can I make it up to you?" He offered.
"Don't make it up to me. You don't owe me anything. I want to help you of my own accord. In fact, why don't you tell me whenever you need anything? Like a while ago, I could've ended the game at any time if you were that sleepy. I wanna help you."
Tell her if I need anything? She wants to help me?
Shikikan scratched his head. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize. I'll always help you. What are friends for?"
Friends, huh…
"Ara? What's with that longing look? Don't tell me you wanna be… more than friends?"
"Good night."
He made his way upstairs, Atago's laughter behind him.
He turned around and waved, and she waved back.
It was the first time anyone accompanied him home.
Something white started falling from the sky.
"Ah. Snow."
It was ironic.
Just as the snow was beginning to fall, he felt so warm.
