That room would have been desolate; devoid of decorations or belongings except a TV in the middle, if it weren't filled with people. People who would wake up next to each other, eat together, and choose to die with one another if given the opportunity.
This was the IJN common (bed)room.
Atago was sleeping in such a room. Particularly, next to the TV she had brought there one time.
"Oof."
She rolled in her sleep and ended up bumping into that TV.
Panic filled her as she opened her eyes and groped around for it. Thankfully, she hadn't accidentally knocked it over.
Safe.
Now she wasn't sleeping anymore. It was time to get up.
She yawned and checked her phone. A few minutes before she had to leave.
There were a few times she would wake up her sisters to accompany her, but those were only a few times, and the ruckus they would make in doing so made her feel worried about bothering anyone.
Before, she would wake up later than this, alongside all her siblings.
But she's since stopped doing that. Life has been very different ever since he came along.
There was a part of her that was obviously a little sad that she was no longer waking up at the same time as her beloved family every morning, but the part that didn't mind outweighed it.
Or maybe more than not minding it, that part of her thought that she had exchanged spending time with some of her family to spend time with someone she now thought of as family.
Maybe that was what was going on.
It was embarrassing but it would be nice if they were family for real one day…
Anyway, her siblings didn't look particularly bothered, either.
Sure, they were on their guard for the first few days or weeks or so, but now it seemed that they were sleeping peacefully.
They'd ask her strange questions like, "Is he doing anything weird? Overstepping any boundaries? We're ready to kill him just in case, okay? We can toss the body into the ocean. Nobody will suspect a thing."
She would have been the same way. But Shikikan proved those worries were unfounded.
Even if he turned out to be some sleazy guy, there would be no concern. Not with a family like this.
Takao and Choukai were drooling subtly, as if their saliva became sentient and obeyed them in their sleep. It was somehow staying at their lips, not even dripping down.
Maya was sleeping with Jii-chan in her arms.
I'll leave them to you, okay, Jii-chan?
"Leave it to me," she imagined him replying.
Despite it being his first night sleeping here, he wasn't struggling or anything even when he was being hugged tightly. Quite the opposite, he seemed pretty comfortable.
So comfortable that Atago almost wishes she was in his place.
He even got free hugs with her siblings. She hadn't done that since they were small…
I wish that were me.
She giggled at the thought that their dog was really going to be like a grandpa to them.
Anyway, I had better get going.
Leaving those thoughts there, she got up and went to take a short shower. Then she would dress up and meet Shikikan at the usual time.
The view from their dorm room when she woke up was as beautiful as ever, with the rising sun painting the world in orange where it could reach and a light blue like the sky's where there was shade.
Yawn. Good morning. What day was it today again? Ah, right. December 31.
Her lips curved on their own.
There was something terribly wrong with the Commander.
"Ah~. Good morning, Atago."
Shikikan yawned and stretched upon seeing her - not at all like him.
"Hm? Is there something wrong?"
Maybe realizing how out of line he was being, he spoke formally and gave her a confused look.
"Y-Yes- I mean, no, Shikikan. Nothing is wrong."
The words sounded unconvincing even to her, but he knew when to pry and when not to pry. That was just who he was.
So when he was curious he smiled and said, "I see. Let's move."
So move they did.
It was almost exactly like their usual routine, so much so that Atago felt like she was going to get deja vu.
What stood out to her was that he was exchanging greetings with everyone.
"Hey, Shikikan!"
"Good morning," he said to Nevada.
He was exchanging greetings with everyone, but nobody noticed how strange he was.
Maybe that was because he was hiding it well. Or maybe she was imagining it.
No, she definitely wasn't imagining it.
Even looking now, there was something off about him.
If she had to name anything specific, she wouldn't be able to. But she didn't need to do that to know. Call it tuition, instinct, a sixth sense; she just knew that something was wrong.
Which meant that he was hiding something.
His face, not so much as twitching in the wrong direction, showing no signs of irregularity, seemed to mock her.
"Hey, let's get some food to eat," his familiar voice said to her.
That was how he was ever since he got here.
He wouldn't let himself be read by anyone but the keenest and kindest Big Sis, and even then she didn't always succeed in reading him.
He wouldn't let anyone in on what he was feeling.
That didn't always work, but it sure was working now.
"Atago? Atago."
"Ah. Sorry. I was thinking about something."
"What's that? Are you sleepy?" His eyes told her that he was concerned.
That's how he always was - ideal in every way; the type of guy who seemed to know just what to say, and that hadn't changed just because he had adjusted to his new life here.
His eyes kept radiating that concern. "Hm? Are you not feeling okay?"
"No, I'm feeling okay. Thanks."
But she couldn't shake the feeling that there he was feeling more than concern.
"Then let's go eat."
"Yes, Shikikan."
Especially today, on such an important date. She couldn't let whatever was happening soil the evening they were gonna have together.
She wasn't going to let him ruin his own chances of having a genuinely good time.
They were in the dining hall, once again in the early hours of the morning. There weren't many people here, so…
"I'll go ahead, Shikikan!" Atago waved.
"Yes."
She made sure to go ahead of him and pick a seat that would force them to sit with one of the few people who were here.
She didn't really need them to talk with each other. She just needed to verify something.
"Atago. Good morning," greeted Kaga.
And where there was Kaga there was Akagi.
The silver-haired one just happened to speak for the both of them sometimes.
"Good morning," she said.
"Did you need something?" Her many tails swayed from behind her.
"Ah. Was it that obvious?"
"You're tense," she said.
Akagi didn't say anything. She was devoting all she had to her food with admirable diligence.
Well, that was just another part about them that was reliable.
They were sharp; perhaps sometimes even sharper than she was.
If there was something strange about Shikikan they would have probably noticed it as well by now.
She decided that she wasn't going to beat around the bush this time. Even now, Shikikan was taking slightly longer than usual to pick his food. That might have been a whim, but he also might be feeling too tired to pick, or even to decide that he wasn't going to be picky.
His mind was somewhere else.
Atago scratched her head. "Do you notice anything strange about Shikikan today?"
That caught Akagi's attention. She lowered her spoon that was overflowing with egg yoke.
"Shikikan? Hm…"
Then she proceeded to say nothing of value.
Kaga also didn't say anything and looked at him getting his food.
"He's taking longer to pick his food," Kaga decided.
Akagi smirked. "Maybe he's more handsome than usual today?"
"Ahahaha…" The secretary gave an awkward laugh to that remark.
"After all, Atago would be the first to notice if that were the case. I see where your eyes are always going."
"That's not-!"
"Pffft."
Too unfair. Atago took a deep breath to calm herself.
"But nothing else?"
"Ara, ara," Akagi started. "If there is something else strange about him, that must mean that only you can see it, right? You two must have such a special bond…" She cupped her cheeks and started giggling.
"How romantic," echoed her sister.
She looked between the two of them with straight eyes. They kept on giggling.
"Is it really that obvious?" She let her head down.
"Yes," they replied, perfectly in sync.
To think that she was so easy to read this whole time… Does that mean he read her intentions as well? But no, she was being that obvious on purpose. She just didn't expect it to be so clear to other people, but looking back, it probably was. Maybe she might as well confess already.
And she thought she was being such a smooth operator.
Then what does he think about it?
Anxiety welled up in her.
What kind of answer was no answer?
No, she shook her head. She couldn't get caught up in that right now.
What she was doing right here, right now, was for him first and for her second; the only good thing it would be doing her was peace of mind, if anything.
She was out to confirm a friend's wellbeing!
That's right, a friend. Yep, that was all it was. For now, at least.
"Well," Akagi continued. It looked like there were times when she took the lead, as well. "If you really do notice something, then you would be the best person to do anything about it anyway."
"That's true," Kaga nodded.
Atago beamed. They were supporting her in their own way. How nice.
"Thanks, you two."
"Hello, you three."
"Ara, Shikikan." Akagi cupped her cheek and smiled in that friendly and bubbly way she always did.
Shikikan's face seemed to quickly lose color.
"Hello, Akagi. Kaga." He gave her a look that said, I wanna run away, as he took a seat.
"Hello!" She smiled at him.
Distress aside, no matter where Atago went, Akagi - this little one was always so sweet.
Her life had always been full of laughter and smiles. There was never any other way.
Rain or shine, day or night, she was always suffering inside. Not from anything serious, mind you, but just from what was going on inside her little head.
"Zeppy! Zeppy, where are you?"
There was never any room for anything but the best to befall her friends, so there was no room for her to be at any condition but her best.
That didn't mean that she was somehow pretending or was secretly averse to the attitude she had adopted over the years. In fact, despite whatever was going on inside, many times just flashing a smile made her feel better. Her life was mysterious like that.
Yet there was conflict inside of her. Not from anything serious, mind you, but just from what was going on inside her little head.
Smiles surrounded her and laughter echoed around her, sure enough, but the pink-tinted life she had been living had always been bordered by coldness and an impending sense of meaninglessness.
She was going through the motions just fine, alright, but many nights she would lie down and ask herself just what she honestly thought she was doing.
Smiles surrounded her and positivity shadowed her like a ghast, but they never seemed to get through to those lonely nights.
Nothing ever seemed to get through.
That is, until one day.
She saw her figure, towering over her peers yet standing apart like a cold tower. She approached her, as was the norm.
"Hey! I'm San Diego, but you can call me number one."
Lifeless eyes turned towards her and seemed to poke at her for a fraction of a second, as if looking for something. A reply came like a gust of wind.
"...Okay."
For some reason, that cold and distant figure and those lifeless eyes seemed to resound within her far more than anything that was like her - anything that was familiar to her ever did.
"Zeppy~!"
Now she was looking for her. She was looking for Zeppy, her dear friend and great companion.
Lanterns filled the night sky, stars filled the night sky farther in the distance, and the smell of a variety of freshly cooked foods, aromas and scents wafted through the air as much as the noise of the crowd.
In that festival, San Diego spotted four little heads of hair.
The pony-tailed white-haired head bobbed.
"It's weird how Nee-chan has been acting lately…"
She had no idea what she was talking about and she probably never would. But that wasn't any of her concern. As usual, without any regard for the atmosphere, she charged in.
"Hey! Guys!" Her cheerful voice pierced through the noise and reached its destination.
"Ah, it's you." A reply came from Ayanami who was just speaking.
"Hello! Have you guys seen Zeppy?"
"Graf Zeppelin? No, I can't say I have," Ayanami shook her head.
"Ah, okay…"
Sandy felt sad, and as always, she wore her heart on her sleeve and let her expression do the talking for her.
Her head dropped as her hair covered her face. A little bit more and it seemed that she would become a puddle.
Javelin, ever the voice of compassion, came forth upon seeing that.
"Hey, if you can't find her, why don't you stay with us until you can?"
"Really? I can do that?" Her voice came out again, and boy did it sound hopeful. Like a child's expression when offered a delicious lollipop, or a murderer on finding out that their target had been taken out by a car accident.
"Yes, of course!" Purple hair swayed as Javelin gave a bright, reassuring smile.
Wow, so bright.
A few minutes had passed, and the group had continued doing whatever they were doing. When Sandy found them, they were walking. Now, they were finally settling on a stand.
This one was a very famous stand among the shipgirls, and that's probably the reason why they settled on it so quickly and purposefully. They had probably agreed among themselves to come here in advance.
"Hello! Darts here! Getting this score will give this toy, hitting this ring will give this toy, and…"
The voice of the man manning the stand drowned into the background noise it was for her as Laffey and Z-23 continued listening.
She heaved a sigh internally. When would she find her?
Without warning, a gentle, soft voice; one that was almost sleepy, but compared to Laffey's might as well have been shouting, got out near her ear.
"So, why do you wanna find her so badly?"
So I can feel... understood.
"No reason..." She said ominously, vaguely and uncharacteristically.
"Hmm?" Ayanami seemed to detect that nothing was wrong.
Javelin, who was also standing close by and watching the others have fun with the darts, chimed in. "...Well then it's fine if you stay with us for a while, right? I mean, you can take your time."
"Yeah. I guess so. Thanks."
It wasn't like her to act sketchy, but sometimes these things just couldn't be helped, is what she was thinking.
A few more minutes passed and they had finished with the darts stand when Sandy came into contact with it.
"Oh? What's that?" One could practically hear the way her eyes sparkled from her voice.
A small aquarium of fishes, and a man standing by. To her, that man might as well have been the Grim Reaper himself, and those fishes might as well have been as mystical as ancient dragons.
She wasn't sure what specifically caught her eye, but she knew what she wanted.
"Can we try it? Can we try it?" Like a child asking for permission she turned to Ayanami.
"Sure." The girl shrugged.
"Alright!" Her mouth felt like it was going to break from how wide she was smiling. She wasn't sure whether to smile this hard or to gape in awe and happiness, so she settled for doing both of them in intervals.
She pretended to listen to the man explain the rules, forked over some cash, fingered the fishnet, and took a deep breath.
"Alright, alright. Time to focus."
Focus…
The fishes, undeterred by her presence, kept swimming on.
Swim swim swim...
"Hnnnggggg…"
Hm?
It seemed that something was up.
She hadn't been sure what had caught her attention, but now she could see it.
One of the fishes had been staring at her since a while ago.
"Uoohhhhh!"
If she were to get a fish, it had to be this one.
"Hey." Laffey deadpanned. Probably because she didn't like the noise.
"Yeah! I got it!"
"Good for you, Sandy," said Ayanami.
She felt so happy that she could burst. She settled for vibrating excitedly on the spot.
"What are you gonna name him?" Javelin chimed in.
"Yeah…! Thanks, you guys! I'll name him…"
She stared into the fish's big, beady eyes as the fish stared right back at her.
She had read about a man with a silly moustache who said something like, when you stare at the fish, the fish stares back at you. This must have been what that man was talking about.
She felt a sense of existential joy looking at this thing's eyes.
It was the best. Like her. It was number one.
She would name him...
"Wan."
"I lost Wan! I lost him! Waaaah!"
It happened so fast. The crowd felt like a river of water rushing at her, and fish take to water like ducks take to… water.
"Are you okay?"
Javelin, voice of compassion that she always was, tried to comfort Sandy.
"Hey, it's okay. Look, we can go back and get another one if you're so sad about it."
Ayanami tried to comfort her in her own way.
"I-I guess so. Come on…"
"Eh? Isn't that Zeppelin?"
Hm?
Sure enough, a light grey, fluffy head of hair popped up in the horizon.
"Zeppy," she all but screamed.
"Ah. It's you," she all but muttered.
"Wan!"
"Wan?"
"Wan! I lost Wan! My pet fish! We were going to do so much together! My life… why am I still alive without Wan!?"
Her face was so crumpled that it looked like what would happen if a baby ever got hold of paper and did not eat it right away.
"Ah, this thing? It's been staring at you since you showed up."
A miracle. That's all it was.
It was a miracle under the night sky.
In the hands of her best friend sat a goldfish bowl.
In the hands of she who had truly understood her was the fish whom she never knew what was thinking but probably also understood her on a very deep, spiritual and emotional level, just like Zeppy. Good old Zeppy.
"Zeppy! Thanks so much," she cried.
"Don't thank me. I just found it here," she explained as if to a grade schooler.
"Wan! Thanks so much," Sandy cried, deciding to thank the fish for staying in place.
Graf huffed. "Have you girls been taking care of her? Thanks a lot for that."
The goon platoon, probably in respect for the beautiful scene, simply nodded.
A tug on her cuff, which had been firmly wrapped around her pet fish. "Let's go, San Diego."
The sun had set some time ago. Speaking of the sun, the Commander didn't have a very good morning.
He woke up really early; like, at 4am, sobbed like a baby, felt bad about himself, and stayed up until he had to go to work.
He got a few strange looks here and there, mostly from Atago. Maybe he was acting strange on the few hours he had, but he was never confronted in the past whenever he had those nightmares and acted strange, so it should be okay.
The day passed by in a blink of an eye, and it was now night time. That's probably what happened when you settled into a routine. He had fully adapted to his new post. Now he just had to wait for the years to pass by.
"Hey, Shikikan!"
He had been standing around, crossing his arms at a festival, waiting for Atago, who had told him to wait there.
In that environment filled with lamps, festival stalls, and the smell of delicious food wafting in the air like blood through an artery, a feminine-masculine voice called out to him.
"Ergh," he eloquently replied.
Under the starry sky, in an atmosphere filled with laughter, music, and the smell of delicious food, a young blonde girl's voice could be heard.
"Haha! What's with that?"
Irritation sprouted.
Don't laugh at me. Laugh with me.
He inhaled internally and counted to 10. Maybe he was a bit moody from the lack of sleep, but he wasn't going to do something he would regret later.
He turned around and met blonde twintails. "Ah, Cleveland. It's good to see you here."
Ah, Cleveland. I don't like seeing you here.
"Hey, Shikikan!" She waved. "How are you doing?"
No, he chided himself. Now wasn't the time for being petty. He had never slipped up and he wasn't about to start slipping up, especially when it could cost him his job.
"Very… high, lately."
She tilted her head. "What?"
"Ah, forget it. Slip of a tongue. I've been fine. You?"
"Me too! Are you waiting for Atago?"
A speedy recovery, as expected of him. His heart definitely didn't beat outside of his chest for a second there. Anyway.
"Is it that obvious?" He heaved his shoulders.
"Yeah!" Cleveland beamed at him.
Figures.
A catlike grin emerged on her face. "Hey, you know…"
That doesn't look good.
One of the best movies of this generation is said to convey the feeling of having forgotten something that you really shouldn't have forgotten which would have made you very happy if you had remembered it.
At this moment, he had the feeling of being on the brink of learning something he should really not learn, which would make him very happy if he did not know about it.
Not as if he was very happy, but what comes next might make him look as if he was.
"What?"
"There's been a rumor circulating." Cleveland put a hand over her mouth, as if she was privy to some great intrigue.
He fought to keep his face straight and panic-free.
"A rumor? Of what?" He urged.
He really had to know. If she was going to do what he thought she was going to do, she must get it over with as soon as possible.
"You know… They say that…"
That smug cheshire grin was not helping anything.
"They say that…?"
She opened her mouth again.
"If you get really scared, you'll piss more later."
?
"Pardon?"
"Yeah!" She grinned.
He had no thoughts.
That was actually kind of gross.
"No! What? Why!?"
"Yeah! It might be true, you know."
The Commander heaved a sigh. An area that felt like it was inside him, below his stomach started to feel a little bit pressurized...
"Oh? What's that?" Cleveland turned her eyes away.
It probably wasn't going to be anything special. Really, what was she thinking? Was piss part of the topics that circulated around the naval base nowadays? Had they really grown that bored? What was she pointing at, a bag of poo? Manure?
"What is that indeed…!?"
He had no thoughts.
…!?
Under the starry sky, with the scent of delicious food wafting in the air, before him was what he would look back on as one of the most delicious sights he had ever partaken in.
She had a humble ponytail; nothing too ambitious. She was wrapped in a white yukata dotted with flowers.
That's all it was. That should've been all it was. So why did he have a feeling?
His secretary flashed a smile. "Hello. Kept you waiting."
Haha meta line
I've been meaning to finish this by December 31. Now I'm having to settle for January 31.
It's been a long, long time since I last wrote. I have no excuse. I am truly, very sorry for the delay.
That said, I don't think that uploading daily was a very good idea in hindsight. Every update to your fic gives it a bump in the catalog, which theoretically makes more people read it.
Rather than going crazy for less than a month then doing nothing for over a month, I should have settled for a weekly release, like a spread evenly distributed across a piece of bread. This doesn't have much to do with anything, but I had a grilled cheese sandwich a while ago made by my mother.
That said, I will still finish this fic by January 31. It's just that any future piece I make will be released on a weekly basis. I already imagine having lost out on many views just for not releasing weekly. Sad!
TL;DR:
Please check my profile for a discord server you can join to chat with me personally. It's where I'll be processing criticism and feedback the most. It's also where I'll be loitering.
Thanks for reading. See you soon.
