Two years later...

With Django destroyed and the slime forever gone the new mayor was so grateful to the new organization that he tore up the order that the old mayor had signed allowing the Helsing Organization and the Holy Order to be back in business completely. Granted there were plenty of people who were against it but they would just have to deal with it. With the new order gone Manny, Steven, and Dipper could show themselves without fear of being arrested and didn't have to go into hiding. In fact Manny was free to move back into his house with Frida.

"Peace and quiet at last." He said stretching out in his living room. "Thought I'd never have time to myself."

"Hello." Steven and Dipper said interrupting his private time.

"How did you two get in?"

"The back door was unlocked." Steven said.

"Ugh! I told Frida to lock the backdoor before she went out! What are you two doing here?"

"We thought you might need some cheering up." Steven said.

"Actually I didn't want to come." Dipper objected. "I wanted to go to the library."

"But don't you guys wanna hang out?"

"No." Dipper and Manny both said.

"But I brought jam."

"Oh dear God how did I get stuck with you two?" Manny asked himself.

"Oh come on you know you like us."

"No I don't."

"Me either." Dipper said.

"You're both liars, why else would we have stuck together in war? Let's not forget we saved each other."

"Yes biggest mistake I ever made was saving you." Manny said.

"You should've left me for the Turks." Dipper said.

"I know you guys. You don't regret what happened."

1826

Steven had just arrived at the army camp to train for the Secret War he had joined. As soon as he arrived he along with several other men were shoved at the feet of the Drill Sargent.

"Name?!" He shouted.

"Steven. Steven Universe." He answered.

"Stand up boy!"

"Yes sir."

"That's Drill Sargent to you! Now stand up straight and salute boy!"

Steven did just as he was ordered.

"Now drop and give me twenty!"

"But-"

"Don't question me!"

"Yes Drill Sargent Sir!"

Needless to say Steven's stay in the army camp for those first few days weren't that great. You see despite being born with great strength he was a pacifist. Not exactly the kind of man you'd want serving in the army but looks can be deceiving. The Drill Sargent didn't go easy on him but then again he didn't go easy on anyone however he was impressed by how strong he was. He had to run laps, do push ups,how to use a gun, take a gun apart and put it back together again, hand to hand combat, and how to stay hidden. After six weeks of training he went to fight in his first battle. All was quiet as they stood hidden behind the trees and in fox holes that had been dug.

The silence was broken by guns getting fired, poisoned arrows were shot, and the Turk leaders came riding on their horses ready to decapitate the heads of their enemies. Steven shot his gun but the force caused him to trip and he was shot in the foot by a poisoned arrow. The sharp point of the arrow didn't hurt nearly as bad as the burning poison that started seeping into his body. He laid there crying out in pain while desperately trying to remove the arrow. A Turk on a horse ran over to him and raised his sword to decapitate him. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the injury when he heard a gunshot.

When opened his eyes to see the Turk had fallen from his horse with a bullet in his head and standing by his dead body was Manny with one arm holding a smoking gun and his other arm bleeding. He looked at his Steven's foot then lifted him on to his shoulders.

"Leave me man!" Steven said. "Go on without me!"

"Oh shut up! Before I'm tempted to!"

"What about your arm?"

"Hurts like a bitch but I can still run and I can hold you! Now pipe down and don't move! Your movement will make the poison spread faster!" He began running from the field into the woods. When Manny was sure they were out of sight they dropped into a hole and he sat him down. He gripped his hands firmly onto the arrow and stuck a glove in Steven's mouth.

"You might wanna bite down on this." Manny warned.

"Mmmph? Mmmph- MMMMMM!"

His muffled screams echoed through the trees when Manny yanked the arrow right out of his foot. He then pulled out a bottle of rum.

"Warning this is going to burn like hell fire."

Steven bit down hard on the glove when Manny poured the alcoholic drink on to his foot. It stung greatly.

"There we go."

"Oh God! Why would you do that?" Steven cried.

"To slow down the poison you idiot. That poison works fast and alcohol is the only way to delay it long enough until we get to the infirmary. Fun fact while alcohol can cause your death it can also save your life."

"Are you a doctor or something?"

"No but for some reason my parents couldn't take me to a doctor so growing up if I ever got sick or hurt myself I had to rely on home remedies."

"They didn't take you to a doctor? Why not?"

"I don't know. Mother always said it was because my body was different from the bodies of other boys, different in a way that if a doctor ever saw them he'd freak out but that's all I knew."

"Were your parents doctors?"

"No my father was a merchant and my mother was a Sunday school teacher. They were never in the medical business but they sure did know a lot about medicine. They're dead and gone now but I picked up some of their methods."

"Gee I'm sorry when did they die?"

"Six years ago, I was twelve. My old man went away on business where he got into a fight with some old rival of his. He got killed and a week later my mother dropped dead from a heart attack."

"Gosh that's terrible. In a way I kind of know what that's like. My mother died when I was born, I never knew her."

"That's rough. How did she die?"

"Blood loss. My father said that something was wrong with her stomach and her uh... uh...Shall we say lower area and due to that she lost a lot of blood and she died."

"Ouch, sorry man."

"It's alright."

"Look no offence but don't you think it's weird we're giving away all this personal stuff and we don't even know each other's names."

"Good point. I'm Steven!"

"Manny. Now let's get going, there should be a clinic somewhere up here."

SWISH! Another arrow had been shot.

"Damn!" Manny cursed as he lifted Steven on to his shoulders and started running. "Good lord! You're heavy! What do you eat?!"

"Not much. I normally eat- Ah!" He cried startled by another arrow.

"Watch yourself!" Manny warned as he ran. "Damn those Turks!"

"Don't they ever get tired?"

"Of course not! Those bastards believe their soul purpose in life is to kill and destroy! They're animals!"

He continued to carry him until finally they reached the clinic for wounded soldiers where they were treated. Unfortunately once they recovered they were sent back to the battle field. It was a a humid morning when they went back. All was quiet which meant they had to extra careful, they had to move quickly and quietly while listening for any sounds that would lead to an attack. Just then the silence was broken by a scream. Steven went to investigate.

Someone had fallen into a trap set by the Turks. It was a pit filled with mud and oil so when someone fell in it would be much to slick for them climb out and the Turks could easily pull whoever was trapped in out and kill them.

"Help! Is anybody out there?" A voice called from the pit. He looked down to see Dipper standing at the bottom of the pit desperately trying to climb back up. "Oh thank God! Listen can you help me? I'm stuck down here!"

"Wait right there!" Steven had some rope on his belt so he took it off and threw it down into the whole. "Grab on to that!"

Dipper grabbed the other end of the rope and in one pull, Steven pulled out.

"Whoa! Boy are you strong." Dipper said surprised.

"Thanks now let's get out of here."

A mob of angry Turks came chasing after them, screaming and shooting arrows. They managed to get away but one arrow hit Steven right in his left shoulder but despite the pain he kept running until they reached the clinic. A few more weeks later the three of them were assigned to take the night shift of watching for enemy attacks.

"Hey I didn't get a chance to tell you this." Dipper told Steven that night. "But thanks for the rescue."

"You're welcome. I'm Steven by the way."

"Dipper Pines at your service."

"Same to you and this is my friend Manny."

"I never agreed to that." Manny objected.

"But you saved my life."

"So?"

"Doesn't that mean you like me?"

"Buddy you can save a lot of people and not like them at all."

"Oh..."

"But I guess you're okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then are we friends?"

"More like acquaintances. Frankly I didn't come here to make friends, I came here to defend my country with honor...Also they were gonna pay me big for joining."

"Hold up they paid you?" Dipper said.

"Yep. You see I came from a wealthy family but after my parents died my grandfather who has a huge gambling problem lost all our money and without it I can't get married."

"Oh you're engaged? That's sweet." Steven said. "Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"You said you can't marry her without the money." Dipper said. "She's not a gold digger is she? Or is it dowry issues?"

"Neither, she marry me even I was poor as dirt and her father is an abusive son of a bitch who couldn't give two bits about what happens to her."

"So why do you need the money?"

"Because I need someway to take care of her otherwise I'm not that good of a husband."

"Gotcha."

"So when's the wedding?" Steven asked.

"August that is if I make it back alive. She begged me not to go but I just...I just can't marry her when I have nothing to give."

"I know what you mean. My father's land is about to be bought by some greedy jackass and we're running low on money. This farm is everything to us so when the army came to me with their offer I couldn't refuse."

"Wait a minute you both were paid!" Dipper said. "That's so unfair! My service is for free!"

"Really?" Steven said.

"Yes! If I survive this they better give me something!"

"So Pines kid what's your story? Why'd you join this Godforsaken war?" Manny asked.

"Well I come from a long line of strong men. My father, my grandfather, my Uncle Ford, my Uncle Stan, my great grandfather mainly men who all fought and died in wars except for Stan, he fought but he didn't die."

"Lucky."

"Not exactly, after my Uncle Ford died Stan injured himself so he'd be sent back. He was branded a coward for the rest of his life. Anyway as fate would have it I was born skinny, thin, and lacking muscle. So much so that I was constantly made fun of by all the men in my town, you know some people actually doubted I was my father's son, that my mother cheated on him and that I was a love child of all the stupidity."

"That's rough." Steven said.

"So to prove my manhood and that I wasn't' some weakling I joined the army just like everyone else in my family did and despite what everyone says I am not a coward like my uncle is! I will not injury myself and flee from war! Also to prove that my sister and I were not love children."

"Sister?"

"We were twins which may or may not be the reason I was born like this. Maybe because we're twins we were born with similar body parts."

"You mean you've got a chick's body?!" Steven gasped.

"You're a he/she!" Manny gasping also as the two began to back away.

"No you idiots I mean-"

"Your sister has a man's body?" Steven guessed.

"No! I mean we're both really skinny and thin that's all...And same blood type but that's where it ends! Trust me our...Parts are totally different."

"Oh..." The two said.

After two months of fighting, violence, blood, and death that seemed to go on forever the Turks admitted defeat and the war was finally brought to end with all three men surviving. Manny and Steven were paid for their service with Dipper getting a little something as well. To celebrate the three of them went to a local tavern/brothel. All through the night food, music, dancing, alcohol, and women though Manny being engaged chose not to go overboard with the rum for fear he would make a mistake while Steven and Dipper were getting drunk and living it up.

"Oh man I haven't seen so many women in all my life!" Dipper slurred looking at the lot of them dancing around or lying around provocatively. One woman gave Dipper a wink and beckoned him over to where she was. "Oh I think she wants me man!"

"I think so to." Steven hiccuped.

"Lord she must be really drunk but I'm not passing up that opportunity! Whoo-hoo!" He cried rushing over to join her.

"Oh boy." Manny chuckled.

"Hey Manny that girl looks about just my size right?" Steven asked him pointing over to one girl who was dancing seductively.

"I don't know."

"I'm gonna go make her smile. You hear that beautiful I'm gonna make you smile!" He cheered.

All night those two drank and fooled around with women. At one o'clock Manny had to drag the two drunk men out of there.

"You know what Manny?" Steven slurred. "You're my only friend. You're my only friend in this whole wide world."

"Uh-huh yeah sure." He said rolling his eyes.

"My mother was a saint." Dipper rambled. "I could take anyone in this place! Come on!"

"Will the two of you shut up?" Manny growled.

"Hey who lit Steven on fire?" Dipper asked.

"You know what Dipper? You're my only friend in this whole wide world." Steven wailed.

"Idiots." Manny groaned.

Soon the boys were awarded the metal of honor then went back home to share their good fortunes with their families. But then their tragedies took place and it drove them to discover their paranormal sides and transform into monstrous forms. Angry mobs chased all three of them away from their homes and into the forest where they would unknowingly meet again.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean too!" Steven shouted as he was chased by the villagers carrying garlic and wooden stakes.

"Kill him!" They shouted.

"Blood sucking demon!"

"Send the monster back to hell."

He ran deep into the forest and didn't stop until he ran smack into Dipper.

"Watch where your going you idiot!" Dipper shouted.

"I'm sorry I just-"

"You crazy bitch!" They heard a familiar voice hiss. They looked over to see Manny in his devil form with his witch ex lover Zoe.

"You told them what I was didn't you!" Manny snarled at her.

"Of course I did." She sneered.

"Why?"

"To punish you for spurning my feelings."

"Haven't I suffered enough?! Isn't it bad enough that you took Analia from me?!"

"No! This is my last offer Manny. Love me and be with me forever and I'll erase their memories of what you are."

"Oh you psychotic, twisted, little whore! You don't get it do you! I never loved you! You're manipulative and selfish and jealous and heartless and insane! You killed the woman I loved and turned a whole town against me! How could I love you? You don't even know what love is!"

"You hellspawn! How could you know what love is? You have a heart of stone! And I think you need a body to match!"

"What the hell does that mean?!"

She raised her hands up and began speaking in tongue. The clouds darkened, thunder clapped, and purple lighting began to strike. One bolt hit Manny and it turned his entire body to stone.

"There now your body matches your heart and you shall remain that way for a century." She cackled.

More lighting bolts struck and anything it hit would be turned to stone for a hundred years. Steven and Dipper tried to run but they weren't quick enough.

"What's happening?!" Steven cried as his body became stone.

"Oh no! Oh no! Ahhhh!" Dipper shrieked as he became a statue.

There they were. Three statues that would remain perfectly still for a hundred years. During their time the forest was taken down and replaced with city buildings. People they knew grew old and died while new people they would meet would be born and grow up. They watched the world change and we're forbidden to be apart of it for a hundreds years. Then when the clock struck midnight on the hundredth anniversary of when the spell was cast they were finally realeased from their stone prisons.

The stone around their bodies began to crack and they found themselves able to move and talk again. They felt like that they had been alseep all this time but they had woken up in a strange new world.

"Oh my neck." Dipper said "Wow does it have a nasty crick. Hey where am I?"

"What's going on? Where are the woods?" Steven wondred. "And why do I smell like wet rock!"

"That slutty witch!" Manny shouted once he was free. "Where is she? I'll hang her by a noose and her burn her at the stake!"

The three of them looked at each other.

"Who the hell are you?" They asked each other at the same time.

They looked at each other and noticed their monstrous appearances.

"Devil!" Steven gasped.

"Vampire!" Dipper cried.

"Werewolf!" Manny shouted.

"Oh please don't drag me to hell!" Steven gravelled at Manny's feet. "I know what I did was wrong but I couldn't control myself I swear! And I'm still young! No where near close to death! Don't let Satan get me! Please! I wanna live!"

"Get off me!" Manny said kicking him away. "What do I look like the grim reaper?"

"Dirty blood sucker!" Dipper said holding up a cross he made with sticks. "Keep your filthy fangs off my good clean neck!"

"That doesn't work on me." Steven said.

"What?"

"Me neither and by the way dog boy you bite me and you're barbecue." Manny said.

"I don't bite people that's so uncivilized and barbaric."

"What are you a purebred werewolf?"

"No! For your information you savage monsterousities I'm half human! And- and...Sniff! You two smell awfully familiar. Have we met?"

"I think I'd remember a dog that could speak." Manny said.

"No I'm sure I know you two from somewhere. Sniff! Sniff! Manny? Steven?"

"How do you know my name?" The two asked.

"It's me Dipper. From the war?"

"You? Wait a minute...Manny?" Steven said to the devil.

"Steven?"

"What happened to you?!" They all asked.

...

"And we've been friends ever since." Steven said.

"Nice walk down memory lane." Dipper sighed. "The only good thing I remember from then was that time I got drunk and I don't even remember most of it."

"You slept with three prostitutes, sang show tunes, and then tried to beat up all the men there." Manny said.

"Oh...Did I win?"

"No."

"Oh...Figures. Say I wouldn't mind having another night like that. What about you guys?"

"I'm up for that." Steven said.

"Pass." Manny said.

"Why not?"

"I'm busy tonight. In fact I should probably get going now."

"To where?" Steven asked.

"None of your business. Now get out of my house!"

"Okay but what are you doing?"

"What part of none of your business do you not understand? Out!"

He threw them out of the manor and locked all the doors.

"What's his problem?" Steven asked.

"I don't know must be stressed or something. So are we going to the bar or what?"

"Right behind you."

Manny watched and waited for them to leave. Once they were gone he left the manor and sneaked over to a lake that was far out in the land where Frida was waiting for him.

"You're late." She said in an upset tone.

"Give me break it's my day off." He said.

"You said that you'd be here."

"And I am here. I always come."

"Yeah but only when you feel like it. God you are so unreliable."

"And you're too demanding."

"Ugh! Why do I even work with you?"

"I could say the same thing about you. Hey maybe I should leave."

"Well I wouldn't stop you."

"Then I'll go!"

"Then go!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

He put his arms around her waist, dipped her, and kissed her. Her arms went around his neck and the two were in a passionate make out session that lasted for five minutes and when they parted they smiled and shared laughs.

"Would you really leave me?" She giggled.

"No. I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to." He smiled.

"Good and just so you know if you ever tried I'd stop you."

"I know."

They started kissing again then broke apart.

"This...This is wrong right?" She asked panting.

"So wrong." He agreed.

"Do you wanna stop then?"

"Oh hell no!"

They continued to make out until Frida's stomach began growl.

"Looks like I'm hungry." She said. "Did you bring the basket?"

"Two years of being together and you still doubt me. I'm deeply hurt."

He made a basket appear in his hand which contained a table cloth, sliver wear, plates, candles, a bottle of wine, champagne glasses, and expendive frozen veal he bought. He started a fire and used it to cook the meat. When it got dark they had candlelight pinic dinner of roasted veal with shallots and wine.

"So why were you late?" She asked him.

"Well the guys were over and they were just talking and I guess I lost track of time."

"Do they know?"

"They don't suspect a thing."

"What about Dipper?"

"Wiped his memory of the whole kiss between us."

"Good...Listen are we doing the right thing? Keeping...Us a secret?"

"Frida I'm half devil and you're a nun. Can you imagine what the world would think if they found us out? They'd crucify us both."

"I know it's just...Don't get me wrong I enjoy this but sneaking around like this makes it harder and harder for us to be together."

"I know I don't like it either. Hey have an idea, why don't we take a little trip?"

"To where?"

"North Carolina. My parents had a summer house built there and we'd stay there for the summer. It's also where my parents married and had their honeymoon."

"How sweet but are you sure it's the right the place?"

"Yes it's big, quiet, has a lake and it's near a small town where no one knows who we are. Well they might know me but they never knew I was half devil."

"Sounds perfect but if we just take a vacation alone they'll know something is up."

"We'll just tell them it's a business trip."

"You think that they'll believe us?"

"Positive."

"Alright I'll start making plans."