Marnie wasn't fully certain how long her and Lewis had been together. They'd never officially began dating, an acquaintanceship simply turned to a friendship, blurred into romance, and then got stuck in the dark.
They'd definitely been together for the past five years, with secret meetings happening in her ranch, in his house, by the beach. Shane never said anything about their relationship, but he wasn't stupid. Marnie knew that he'd known about her and Lewis since he and Jas moved in a couple of years back. Since he'd began dating Lucie, there had been a few moments were she'd eluded to Marnie's relationship and Shane had grinned knowingly.
Marnie hated to see Lucie and Shane together - not because they were unpleasant in any way, just they made her think of the relationship that she could have with Lewis. The life she could have with him. They were not going to wander around hand in hand all day, nor have film nights with ridiculous amounts of popcorn that seemed to get everywhere, nor when questioned about said popcorn, burn a bright red and mutter something about getting a fright. Lucie and Shane were technically adults, Marnie and Lewis were too old, too world weary to get up to the same nonsense - but Marnie did want to be able to have a meal out with Lewis without feeling guilty. Without having the sense that she ought to eat with others so that no one got suspicious.
Suspicious was such a ridiculous word. Like there was anything untoward about her and Lewis dating - suspicious suggested that there was something to be ashamed of in dating the Mayor. It suggested wrongdoing, misconduct, mistreatment. And there was no misconduct. Lewis's excuse was always that it would undermine his position in the town, and Marnie hated that pushing that excuse would make her seem unsympathetic or heartless. To name it as an excuse would crush Lewis, she was almost certain of it. He would resent the accusation, and Marnie would resent his resentment.
But harbouring this for much longer would cause a different kind of rift between them. Marnie needed to say something but she didn't know how to say it without it merging into a fight.
"Shane!"
The man stuck his head around his door, looking in entirely the wrong direction for the source of the call. Marnie called to him to come into the kitchen and he jumped at the voice behind him, before slinking into the room.
"Did I forget to take out the bin or something?" He asked, standing half in the doorway like a scolded teenager. Marnie shook her head, then frowned.
"Well. Yes, actually," she said slowly, looking over to the bulging bin behind her. Then she swatted away the thought with her hand, like it was an annoying fly. "But that's not what I want."
Shane eyed her suspiciously, moving towards the bin. Marnie caught his arm and encouraged him to sit in the chair, by giving him very little say in the matter. It was either sit in the chair or land on the floor. She was not letting him use 'putting out the bins' as an excuse to get out of a conversation that she wanted to have.
"What did I do?" He asked slowly. Why did the stupid boy always think he'd done something wrong? Maybe it was something to do with the fact that she looked at him like he was a stupid boy - no, focus, Marnie.
"Nothing," she sighed. Marnie hunted for the words, then, failing to find them, settled for some words which were good enough. "When you and Lucie were having your little spat…"
Shane perked up.
"Last week? Yeah, that was about -"
"No, the one at Spirit's Eve," Marnie corrected, not waiting to hear what last week's argument was about. "When you didn't want people to know about the two of you and she did?"
Shane slumped a little in his chair, mumbling an affirmative. He raised an eyebrow at Marnie, inviting her to continue. When she didn't, he sighed heavily.
"Let me guess - you don't like you and Lewis being a secret?"
Marnie shot him a warning look. Just because he hadn't said anything that crossed a line yet didn't mean he wasn't going to. Shane stood and moved to the bin, hauling the bag out easily.
"Marnie, please do not take this the wrong way," Shane said, facing the bin more than her. "but everyone already knows about the two of us. Except maybe Linus. I don't think he even knows that Lucie and I are a thing."
Marnie raised an eyebrow at 'Lucie and I' - grammatically correct sentences had never been Shane's forte. She put it down to Lucie's influence and then watched as Shane left the Ranch, bin bag in hand.
She let her head drop lightly into her hands, groaning faintly.
"Going to Lucie's," Shane called, opening the door a fraction. Marnie waved him off, replying half-heartedly, lost in her thoughts about how to tell Lewis that she didn't want to sneak around anymore.
Lewis was tending to the flowers in front of his house. Marnie almost turned, heading into Pierre's rather than talking to him, but her feet seemed to move of their own accord and soon - sooner than she'd liked - she was stood next to him. Lewis looked up at her, surprised, but the smile spread across his face warmly.
"Marnie," he struggled to his feet, wiping the dirt from his palms, "What can I do for you?"
Apparently her face showed more of her turmoil than she'd realised, because Lewis frowned and then invited her inside, offering a coffee as he opened the front door of his house. Marnie went inside silently, but as soon as she heard the light click behind her, she turned around, opening her mouth to speak.
"Is everything alright? It's not Shane again, is it - he seemed to be doing so well." Lewis talked more to himself as he bustled towards the kitchen, unknowingly cutting off Marnie. She closed her mouth, trying not to sigh as she assured Lewis that Shane was fine.
"Nothing is wrong," she began. Lewis looked sideways at her, his face telling her that he didn't believe her. If he would just be quiet, or not look at her, for a few moments… "I just need to talk to you."
Lewis paused. Marnie could see the cogs turning, could see him thinking back to anything that he could have possibly done wrong and she reached for his hand instinctively. When his gaze darted to the window in front of them, and he pulled his hand back, handing her the mug of coffee instead, Marnie felt her heart steel itself.
"Marnie," Lewis said lowly. He didn't say anything but her name. Just that one small word, that one small warning, that one barrier raised once more.
Marnie took the mug and immediately put it down on the counter behind her - it would undermine everything if she split coffee down herself.
"I hate this." The worst bit was out and now the words were spilling forth from her like a burst dam. "I hate this sneaking around. I feel like I'm trapped back in high school, and it is childish and ridiculous, and I hate it, Lewis. I want to be with you - I want a life with you, but this is no life. I-" she stumbled on the word and wrenched her eyes away from him. "I don't think I can keep doing this. Either we need to be open about this relationship, or…"
"Or you'll end it?" Lewis finished. It wasn't cruel, and that made it worse. Marnie wished he'd scream at her, or shout, or show some form of anger, instead of that crushing sadness.
"I don't want the best thing in my life to be some stolen moments in the dark." Marnie couldn't bear to look at Lewis, knowing that he's be looking at her with those big, sad eyes of his. Couldn't bear to look at him and know that they were over. Couldn't bear to admit that she really ought to leave now.
"I don't want to lose you." Lewis was stood directly in front of her. Marnie didn't know when he'd moved, she hadn't noticed the gap between them closing. She could scarcely breathe, scarcely think, scarcely look up at the man in front of her. But look she did, and found a small pendant sat in his hand.
Marnie held her breath, not sure what to say. Not sure what she was being asked.
"Apparently, your nephew thinks I need to pull myself together," Lewis was saying, from beneath an ocean, a hundred miles from Marnie's ears. All she could see was the pendant. "Lucie, ever Jacques' daughter, was much less polite. She broke into my house and refused to leave until I took this off her and promised that I'd propose before the end of the week."
Marnie felt him take her hand, and she came rushing back to the moment.
"What?"
Dignified, Marnie. Very dignified. Gaping at him like a dead fish and saying 'what', by Yoba, that was an appalling response.
But Lewis smiled at her, and lowered himself on to one knee.
"Lucie threatened to not marry until we did, and I feel like Shane has suffered enough," Lewis grinned. "I was planning on doing this tomorrow, but…"
"Yes," Marnie felt the tears prickle at her eyes, the word out before she'd consciously thought of her answer.
"I haven't asked you yet."
"If you don't hurry up, we'll be dead before you get the words out."
Lewis laughed, rocking back slightly on his supporting knee, his eyes sparkling at the woman he loved.
"Marry me?"
