[A/N: As I sit down to write this, it's an absolutely beautiful day. I have the window open, there's a gentle breeze, the sun is shining but not in my face…and endless road traffic. Ah, the 'joys' of living in an apartment that faces a busy boulevard.]
Chapter 12: Waiter! There's a Rat and a white hair in my soup
4 November, 1991 Great Hall, same time
"Hey, Pup. How are things?" Sirius asked as he ruffled Harry's hair, smirking as he always did when Harry growled ineffectually at him.
Both men sat down on either side of Harry and smiled politely at the Weasley Twins who stared back with dumbstruck expressions on their faces.
"Um, so…who are your friends? Are they alright?" Remus coughed into his hand to break up the tension. Fred started blinking again as George made a sort strangled whine.
Harry chuckled and gestured with a flourish, "Remus 'Moony' Lupin, Sirius 'Padfoot' Black; I would like to introduce you to Fred and George Weasley, current reigning pranksters of Hogwarts." Both Marauders nodded once in greeting.
Fred could only manage a squeaky 'hi.'
Minerva appeared a moment later, "Misters Lupin and Black, how nice it is to see you both again. I sincerely hope you're not here to cause more trouble are you?"
Sirius placed his hand over his chest like he'd been mortally wounded, "Professor! I should be outraged that you would ever think of such a thing! I am the paragon of reformation and rehabilitation."
A single eyebrow rose up in disbelief causing Sirius to sag in mock sadness, "Moony! It's like she doesn't trust her old favorites. Hold me…" he started wailing how Minerva had forsaken him. That broke the Twins out of their shock and started them laughing. Harry just rolled his eyes and looked to the ceiling for Divine Intervention.
"Just promise that you will try to not set anything on fire or bring the castle walls down, eh?" her eyes twinkled slightly and the corners of her mouth twitched before turning around and heading back up to the teacher's table; a transfigured fluffy tail swishing from the back of her robes. Everyone's eyes turned to Sirius who just shook his head and slyly pointed at Remus who sat there with a contented grin spread over his face.
Sirius turned to the twins with a full-blown Marauders grin, "So what do you both like to do for fun around here these days?"
Five minutes later in the Weasley Twins' 'Lair of Laughs'…
Harry peered around the converted abandoned classroom, curious as to what most of the items were that were in sight yet somewhat fearful of the things still in crates. 'Nothing good can come from things in moldy looking crates with questionable labels on them.'
Sirius on the other hand, was digging enthusiastically through one such crate, "I'm impressed, boys. It's not every day when someone can come across a jar of any size of powdered Magma Wyrm eggs."
"Thank you…sir."
Sirius glanced up at the redhead with a sardonic eye, "None of that 'sir' stuff. I'm not noble enough to warrant it and even if I was, I'd rebel."
"Um…uh, sure."
"Relax, kid. It's just 'Padfoot.' Say it enough times and it gets easier."
The redhead in question, George, slumped his shoulders and shook his head, "I don't think I'll ever get to that point. You two are legendary and compared to you, I feel like I'm still in nappies and just figured out which end of the bottle to hold."
Remus slapped his hand consolingly on George's shoulder, "Think of how we felt when we discovered that we weren't the first or even the original pranksters. There were others that came before us who terrorized the school."
Fred sat forward on the chair he'd been sitting on, "Who?"
Sirius had put down the jar and wiped his hands, "Two of the Founders, of course! Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin were the original pranksters."
Harry perked up, "Really? I thought they were always at odds with each other?"
"That argument came later in life, according to the journals we found in a distant corner of the library, it was during their younger days while setting up the school they weren't allowed to be in the same room together unsupervised. For example, the Grand Staircase is one of their pranks. According to the journals, the two had gotten the brilliant idea to prank Rowena Ravenclaw as she had the tendency to read as she walked from her tower to the lower floors. Well, you can imagine that she would walk with one hand on the railing to guide her on her way. Well, Godric had the brilliant idea to shift the direction of the stairs so it would take her twice as long to descend the stairs as it would normally. Since Charms and enchanting was Slytherin's forte, it was his job to make sure the stairs continued to shift at random times until they were cancelled."
That had Harry and the Twins in stitches of laughter, "So do you know how to cancel out the enchantment? Harry asked through his wheezing.
Remus nodded sagely, "There's a statue at the base of the Staircase that's holding its hand out for you to shake. Shake that hand and say, 'Mission Accomplished.'"
"What happened to these journals? Do you still have them?"
Remus smiled, "They're in my vault. Come Yule, I'll be happy to show them to you."
Gesturing between the twins, Sirius asked them what sort of pranks they'd pulled since starting at the school.
"Ah, where to begin, " replied Fred, "I think the first one we successfully pulled that was worthy of being called a prank was the time that we spiked the Slytherins' morning pumpkin juice with a very mild sleeping draught. All throughout the day, the snakes kept falling asleep, sometimes just sinking to the floor to take a nap. Seems childish now, but at the time it was awesome."
Sirius grinned and waved his hand dismissively, "All the greats have to start somewhere, you know. What else?"
George picked up the thread, "Swapped the labels on the condiments. If you reached for the ketchup, you ended up getting hot sauce. Mustard got you mayonnaise and so forth." Harry looked scandalized.
"If you ever try that again when I'm making food, I'll… I'll…well, I'm not sure what I'd do but it wouldn't be pleasant."
George clapped him on the back, "Never fear, young Harrykins. If word got out that we did that, I think the whole school might rebel and we'd be lucky to get out with our lives."
"Ah, got a taste of Harry's cooking, have you?"
Both twins put on the look like they'd seen heaven, "Harry Potter doesn't cook. Harry Potter makes Art."
Harry blushed at the praise.
"So, what else?" Remus asked to get things moving again.
"Well, we got into the laundry and charmed the Ravenclaw's robes to randomly change colors and patterns."
Remus frowned briefly, "Simple but not exactly what I thought you would do."
Fred smirked, "Ah! But here's the best part; depending on which spell was then cast on them, either a 'finite' or 'finite incantantum,' it would either cause their robes to turn transparent or make rude noises as they moved." Remus silently clapped his approval.
"I think the funniest one we've ever done was to the other Houses' Quidditch teams. We swapped out their brooms and balls for the muggle variety. The Quaffle was a large red rubber ball, the Bludgers were just two ordinary cannonballs and the Snitch was a walnut painted gold."
Fred tapped his chin, "Hey, Georgie, remember that time we pranked Argus Filch's shoes to sing that Didney song, 'Hi ho, it's off to work we go?'"
Remus chuckled, "That's Disney and that's hilarious. How long was it good for?"
George shrugged, "An hour at most though we never got to hear more than a couple of lines of the song. He just went back to his office and changed shoes."
Harry picked at his thumbnail, "I got an idea." All eyes swung to him. "What…I mean, have you ever pulled anything on the headmaster?"
The Twins shook their heads while the Marauders nodded theirs but Remus motioned for him to continue, "What was your idea, Harry?"
"It won't do you any good now but… maybe use it on another professor like Snape? You ever heard of a whoopee cushion?"
While the Twins and Marauders were showing off to one another…
Hermione was on a mission to seek out some pressing information. Information on what really happened to Sally-Anne Perks. She had tried to speak with Madam Pomfrey but the older medi-witch was bound by confidentiality rules. She tried with her Head of House however Pomona politely but strongly suggested that Hermione not concern herself with it.
Finally, she decided to take Harry's advice and speak with the elves.
"Tiny? Is there a Head Elf for the general stuff within the school? I have a question about a student who was supposedly expelled and I want to know why."
The Head Kitchen Elf looked up from her order forms, "There is being another elf but Tiny can be telling you too."
"The girl's name is Sally-Anne Perks from Gryffindor…"
Tiny held up a hand stopping her, "Tiny knows who you is speaking of. Not many students get sent away for what Little Miss did. Little Miss be saying that she be seeing evil faces in the shiny trophies and wanted to smash them to get them to stop mocking little miss."
That rocked Hermione back on her heels, "Oh, Sally-Anne…"
"Little Miss' parents be coming to the school and be saying that Little Miss will be going to a school closer to their home instead and that it being safer for everyone."
Hermione eyes teared up, "I wish I knew her home address so I could write to her." She straightened up and put on a brave face, "Thank you, Tiny. You've been a big help."
Tiny patted her hand, "Anytime."
Hermione determinedly made her way up to Professor McGonagall's office and knocked on the door. When she was bid to enter, she didn't even wait to be asked what the problem was, "I would like to have Sally-Anne Perks' home address so I can write to her and let her know that I don't hold her at fault for what she experienced."
Minerva let out an uncharacteristic snort of laughter, "And it's a pleasure to see you too, Miss Granger," she tilted her head and studied the pint-sized dynamo before her, "You heard what happened to young Miss Perks?"
Hermione waggled her hand, "Sort of. I heard she had a mental breakdown and started seeing things and that's why she started destroying the trophies."
Minerva held out a tin, "Have a biscuit." Hermione was puzzled but took a Ginger Snap anyways and bit into it. (It was good but not Harry-quality.)
"I think it's wonderful that you would like to write to Miss Perks. It shows a determined degree of friendship and even bravery towards someone you've never met before. You're correct that she did have a breakdown of sorts in her short time here. It's rare but it does happen, especially amongst the muggleborn who are not used to being away from home for long periods of time and also being thrust into a whole new situation." She took out a scrap of paper and wrote something down on it, "I'm entrusting this to you; please do not share with the others what really happened unless you get approval from Miss Perks or her parents first."
Clutching the paper in her hands, Hermione promised Minerva that she wouldn't and took her leave. When she got to the door, Minerva called her name again.
"Oh, and ten points to you Miss Granger for your compassion."
Third Floor Ballroom
Argus Filch was actually enjoying himself in a way that he'd never thought possible. True, he was tired, sweaty, and dirty and in need of a stiff drink but the restoration of the ballroom and other exercise rooms was proceeding splendidly. It was a constant source of amazement in the grandeur and beauty that went into the design of each of the rooms. Even the most staid of them, like the aerobics studio which just had a mildly springy floor and mirrors on three of the four walls, was still an example of Art Nouveau organic styling in the doorframes or the stained glass window treatments. The coup de grâce had to be the ballroom which was decorated to resemble something straight out of the Queluz National Ballroom in Portugal. He remembered that visit fondly, it was one of the few trips in the muggle world he'd taken while studying for his Master's degree in Art History. The cream colored walls with the hand-painted murals, sweeping gold trim, hanging crystal chandeliers, and floor to ceiling windows that let in huge amounts of natural lighting. Why anyone would want to seal this all away and just let it turn to rubble was beyond him.
He was overseeing the construction team that had been hired from who knew where by the Hogwarts Elf Assignment Supervisor (who knew that elves had subcontractors!). A 'pop' heralded the arrival of one of the elves.
"Mr. Filch, sir. Where does you be wanting this crate of books?" came a somewhat deeper yet still squeaky voice.
Argus turned to see one of the slightly taller elves holding a clipboard and standing next to said crate, "What's in it?"
The elf peered at the manifest, "Ex-er-cise books and charts."
"Ah, take that to the library just off the aerobics studio. Down that hall, third door on the left side." He pointed in that direction.
"Yes, sir."
Argus decided to take another look at the Roman style indoor pool and its enchanted skylight and animated murals. The tall columns, panoramic windows to let in the light, a decent sized lounging area and heated tub and sauna promised to be a showstopper. Argus headed down the wide hallway until he heard the sounds of flowing water and banging of tools. He stepped into the room and his nose was immediately hit with the sharp, acrid aroma of some sort of harsh cleaning chemical.
"Petey!" He yelled out in between rasping coughs.
The elf in question popped to his side, "Yes, Mr. Filch?"
"What's with that stench?" he demanded, his eyes watering and covered his nose and mouth with a handkerchief.
"It is being chlorine to clean the walls of the pool and kill all the nasty things."
Argus was surprised that the elves knew what chlorine was, given that chlorine was a muggle creation.
"It is not being of importance but some of our elves were owned by masters who were open to muggle advances and taught their elves. They is then be bringing the information to the jobs."
Argus eyes were watering as he hurried back outside and closed the door. Petey popped in a moment later. "So will you be using it to keep the pool clean? Why is it that the elves aren't affected by that stench?"
Petey nodded, his ears flapping, "The pool will have to be emptied once in a while but we is knowing to do it when the students is being asleep. We just use an air cleaning charm around our heads while we're working in there."
Argus thanked the elf then quickly took his leave and headed back to his office still coughing. On the way there, he spotted a quartet of green and silver robed girls sneaking into the mini-library and followed them to make sure they weren't trying to damage anything.
In the mini-library…
"Millie, I don't think we're supposed to be here yet," whispered Tracy Davis as she tugged on Millie's sleeve. Millie waved her friend's hand off and continued further into the room. The other two girls, Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson were rifling through some papers stacked on a desk.
"I'm just curious as to what is so fascinating about these muggle books." She opened one box of books up and picked out the first one. It was a primer on weightlifting basics, Millie's eyes grew wide at the full-color images of muscular men and women.
"Ahem."
The girls whirled around and shied back from the sight of the usually cranky Argus Filch standing in the doorframe.
"Curiosity is not a sin but stealing is," Argus intoned and crossed his arms across his chest.
Millie swallowed noisily, "I wasn't going to steal it. I was…just looking."
"Uh-huh. Well at any rate, the library isn't open yet so I suggest you put that back in the box. If you want to help out, I suggest you speak with Madam Pince." He turned to the side to usher the girls out.
Back with the Marauders, Twins and Harry…
Sirius and Remus were leading the younger boys around the school, pointing out some of their hiding spots and shortcuts the older two had discovered during their own time. Harry mentioned that if they'd had made a map, it probably would've made life easier to remember all of this. That startled the twins who looked chagrined.
"We forgot to mention that we have your map, Moony and Padfoot. We've been using it to plan our pranks and escape from the teachers. We humbly return it to you."
They ducked into an abandoned classroom and the Twins laid the old parchment onto a desk.
"Ah, will you look at that Moony? It's still got that stain where Prongs barfed all over it after getting sloshed on firewhiskey." Sirius reminisced while Remus groaned at the memory.
"My dad got sloshed? How old was he?" Harry asked excitedly, nothing would get him more jazzed than to hear stories about his parents.
"Fourteen. We'd stolen the bottle from a prefect who nicked it from the Three Broomsticks. James arrogantly thought he could handle it. Two shots in and he passed out on the couch. Woke up the next morning and barfed on the table where the map happened to be still laying."
"Two shots of whiskey and he passed out? My dad was a lightweight, wasn't he?"
Sirius laughed, "When it came to alcohol, yes. When it came to things that no normal human should eat because of a dare? He would do it without hesitation. I remember one time Lily to go suck the sweat off a hippogryff's beak. He got this glint in his eye and trotted off; we had to carry his bruised and beaten body to the hospital wing."
The twins were howling with laughter while Harry just shook his head in exasperation, "Even we're not that crazy!" Fred laughingly commented.
"James would do the weirdest things to try and woo Lily Evans. You didn't even have to dare him; just mention her name and it was like someone had put him under the Imperious Curse," Remus reminisced, "There was even a sign-up sheet in the Gryffindor Tower to suggest ideas to get him to try to accomplish while under her thrall."
"What about Harry's mum? Did she ever get into pranking?" George asked.
Sirius grunted in amusement while gesturing Remus to take this one. Remus sat back like a cat who caught the canary, "Oh, Lily did pull pranks but they were more…cerebral. She had a way of making you think that you'd just won the lottery then later realize that you'd just been had. That's not to say that she didn't come up with practical jokes every now and then."
"Like what?" Harry's eyes were wide.
"Her favorite method was to go the stealthy route. Pranks that couldn't be identified using magical means. For example, her favorites were wet paint on a chair or greasing up the inside of someone's shoe." Harry barked out a laugh and dropped his head back facing the ceiling laughing his butt off.
The twins turned to look at Harry, "We said it on the train, Harrykins. You are the Heir of Pranking Royalty."
Harry pulled the map over to him to look it over while the Marauders and Twins were discussing the mechanics involved getting the map to work. He was examining the Slytherin Common Room when he noticed the name 'Peter Pettigrew.'
"Uncle Moony?"
Remus paused in his explanation of how the Revealing Spell worked, "Yes, Harry?"
"You said the map is tied into the wards and therefore can't lie, right?" There was a hint of worry in Harry's voice.
Remus grew concerned as he got to his feet, "Yes, I did. Why?"
Harry pointed to Peter's name, "Because I think I found Wormtail."
Slytherin Common Room, Dungeons
After sending out a communication Patronus to Minerva and Severus; the Marauders plus Harry and the Twins raced as fast as they could down to the dungeons. The older men took some shortcuts that not even the Twins knew about and had them there in record time. Minerva and Severus appeared a few minutes later. After explaining what all had happened including revealing the existence of the map, Severus gave the password and entered first.
He gazed around the room, his usual severe countenance not unusual so Peter never got a warning that something was amiss. It wasn't until a flash of red light coupled with his sight going black did his mind, in that brief time between consciousness and sleep, connect the possibility that the game was up.
When Peter came around, he found himself bound to a chair in the Infirmary. There were other people in the room and it caused his heart to start pounding heavily; they were the last people he'd ever want to meet.
"Re-Remus? Sir-Sirius? My old friends!" he stammered and ended in a pitiful whine.
Sirius stormed up and slammed his fist into Peter's stomach, only the ropes binding him kept the prisoner from toppling over.
"After all the years of friendship we had together, you sold James and Lily out to Voldemort?!" Sirius raged.
Peter coughed and spat onto the floor, his pleading look devolved into one of loathing, "What friendship? You and James had everything yet you never shared! I was always the fall guy for your pranks here at school! 'Poor, pitiful Peter Pettigrew! Weak-willed and easily led!' Isn't that what you told James many times whenever I got caught? The Dark Lord knew though, he knew that I was a valuable asset to his cause! I could've been a powerful and rich wizard if only Harry had died that night!"
Remus stared at his former best friend with a dark glint in his eyes, "Did we ever pull pranks on you, Peter? Did we ever cause you to fail on your tests? All three of us did our absolute best to make sure you learned how to become an Animagus at fifteen! I distinctly remember staying up for hours during our OWLs and NEWTs just to make sure you got by with at minimum an Acceptable grade. I was even the one who gave up an opportunity to work in the Ministry just so you could get a job," His voice was deadly calm.
"Fat lot of good it did for me," Peter growled.
Sirius paced back and forth before whirling on Minerva, "I'm done with this fat lump of garbage. Contact Amelia and let her deal with him." He turned one last time to Peter, "I spent nearly ten years of my life in that hellhole of Azkaban because of you! I lost out of ten years that I could've had with James, Lily and Harry because of you!" Sirius was practically screaming at this point before he went deadly still, "You know what? I absolve myself of you. You, Peter Andrew Pettigrew are dead to me. I refuse to see you, I refuse to hear you; you are DEAD to me!" With that, he stormed from the room.
Remus stood there silently for a moment before leaning down into Peter's face, "If it were up to me, I would lock you in a room while I transformed then let the wolf have its way with you. You should know, Moony is very displeased right now…"
Hufflepuff Girls' Dorms, the next day
Dear Sally-Anne,
My name is Hermione Granger and you and I were at Hogwarts together briefly until your… transfer. Even though I am in Hufflepuff while you were in Gryffindor, I wanted you to know that I don't hold any fault with you over what you experienced in the Trophy Room. I am rather curious as to how you are doing now? Are you getting treatment for the breakdown? What is it even called? How are you settling into your new school? I hope that you and I could be pen pals so you don't feel so alone, if you're willing.
Sincerely yours,
Hermione Granger, Hufflepuff House
Hermione sat back in her chair and reviewed what she'd written. It was short, not even really a longish paragraph but it should be enough to at least establish a tentative friendship. She slipped the letter into an envelope and wrote Sally-Anne's name and address onto the face then headed out to the Owlery. When she entered, she spotted Hedwig peering down at her from her roost in the rafters.
"Hey Hedwig, do you feel up to delivering a letter?"
Hedwig ghosted down from her spot, landed on the windowsill, and stuck out her leg. Hermione affixed the envelope to the bird's leg with a rubber band and knelt down to look the owl in the eyes.
"I know that Harry says that you should only deliver at night but we both know that you are the best there is. After all, he's just being an overprotective boy." Hedwig huffed in a way that could've been construed as laughter, "Take your time and if Sally-Anne wants to give you a reply, just go ahead and wait."
Hedwig nuzzled Hermione's ear and launched herself out the window.
A couple of days later at breakfast, Hedwig delivered Sally-Anne's response letter to Hermione. Harry sat there looking puzzled at the delivery but still handed his owl a strip of bacon. "Hermione? When did you send a letter out?"
She'd just unstuck the flap and looked up at the sound of her name, "Hmm? Oh, a couple of days ago." She dropped her voice to a near whisper, "I wrote to Sally-Anne Perks to see how she was doing to settle into her new life and school after what happened here when she had that problem in the Trophy Room." Harry nodded sagely and went back to his English textbook.
Dear Hermione,
Thank you so much for writing to me! It means a lot to me to know that my outburst didn't have too much of an impact outside those innocent trophies. I hope they're not mad at me? A little polish ought to clear things right up (haha.) Things have been settling themselves since I've left; my mum and dad were against me going to Hogwarts from the start because of my condition which is called 'Childhood Onset Schizophrenia.' The symptoms I've been told are similar to adult schizophrenia: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking, etc.
It's been tough trying to overcome the shame that I've been feeling. I can only guess that I'm the hot topic of discussion there at the castle? I've just started at my new school; the teachers and staff seem nice so far. The other kids either recognize that I'm in the room with them or are spaced out from their medications. Treatment is… going. My new therapist has been discussing my options with my parents, it's looking like I'll be getting on some medication soon as well as a modified education plan. Unfortunately I won't be able to continue my magical studies since my new school would just treat my abilities as another manifestation of my illness. (I hoping that maybe I could get a tutor. We'll see what happens.)
I should tell you that if you send that beautiful owl down again, I just may end up trying to keep her. When she arrived, I was in the middle of another episode but when she appeared, all of a sudden the demons vanished. I don't know if it's because of her sudden appearance or what but I feel so calm and relaxed when she's near. She's such a sweet bird; she cuddled with me after I blacked out and preened my hair as I came to.
Your friend,
Sally-Anne
Saturday, Hogwarts Kitchens
Harry was busily preparing for his next demonstration when Draco Malfoy of all people sauntered into the room. It surprised Harry since he was of the belief that the blonde-haired aristocratic boy didn't even know where the kitchens were and if he did, considered them to be beneath his notice. Draco settled himself onto a bench after turfing out an elf; tapped his fingers on the armrest, tilted his head and got a look on his face as if to say, 'Well? Let's get on with it?'
Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes briefly. 'Whatever. At least it's not Weasley down here; he'd be chewing on the stone walls by now.'
"Hello everyone! Welcome back to another culinary carnival of 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks!'" A rousing round of applause erupted from the crowd. "Today will be different that the usual full meals that I've been showing you. Today, we're going to be making a savory snack perfect for just about any time of the day."
"So today's recipe is called 'Mozzarella Stuffed Rosemary and Parmesan Soft Pretzels. They're made with a simple soft pretzel dough and loaded with fresh herbs and Italian cheese. Today's pretzel recipe is made with not one but two cheeses and flavored with rosemary, black pepper, garlic powder and sea salt!"
Several members of the audience quietly moaned with anticipation. Even Draco was spotted shifting in his seat.
"This homemade soft pretzel dough is made with yeast but don't let that scare you off! Because working with yeast is easy once you know a few things." Harry gestured to a posterboard he'd set up with some of the tips and tricks he'd picked up over the years.
"First rule is 'Don't kill the yeast!' You don't need hot water to activate the yeast. What you want is warm water. A general rule of thumb is if you can keep your finger in the warm water and it doesn't scald you within two seconds, it's good enough for the yeast. Second, yeast reproduces best between 20 and 26 degrees Celsius. This simply means if your house is pretty cold, crank on the oven for a few minutes just to warm it up then let your dough rise in there just don't forget to turn off the oven before placing the dough in there to rise!"
Harry picked up a bowl and dumped in the yeast. To this he added warm water, sugar, salt then left it in the warm oven to rise for about 10 minutes until it began to foam, "Add in the rosemary, flour and butter and knead for about twelve minutes. Cover the dough with a warm damp cloth and place in a warm area of your kitchen to rise for about an hour or until the dough has doubled in size."
Wiping his hands on a towel, he started with the fillings, "These pretzels are stuffed with mozzarella, parmesan and rosemary. It's very important that you use fresh rosemary as the dried variety won't add the same flavor to the dough. If you can't get fresh, then I suggest leaving it out. For the cheese filling, I have two tips: 1) Combine the two cheeses in a bowl then place it in the freezer for twenty minutes. This trick helps the cheese melt slowly. Slow melting cheese equals less leakage during the baking process. 2) Resist the temptation to overstuff your pretzels! Overstuffed pretzels will burst and leak while baking."
"Preheat your oven to about 220 degrees C and line two large baking sheets with parchment paper; set these aside for now. Add water and baking soda to a large pot or Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Divide your dough into 8 equal rounds and roll them out into a 41 centimeter long rope. Roll out each rope so it's 10 centimeters wide. Remove the cheese from the freezer and add 2 tablespoons of cheese evenly along the center of the strip. Tightly roll the dough back into a rope, jelly roll style, pinching the ends together.
Harry then began demonstrating how to roll out the dough and cut it into strips. He then sprinkled on the mixed cheese down the center of the strip and showed how to twist it into the characteristic pretzel shape. One at a time, he placed them into the boiling water and cooked them for 30 seconds each. He removed them with a slotted spoon, allowing any excess water to drip back into the pot before transferring the pretzel to a prepared baking sheet.
"Once all the pretzels have been boiled, brush the tops of each with an egg wash and place the pans into the oven to bake. Be sure to bake the pretzels for the full 16 minutes. Sometimes I even bake them a little longer because I like to get the outside really brown and toasty. The dough is so thick and soft that baking them for an extra few minutes will have no effect on the doughy interior. Allow the pretzels to cool on the baking sheet for about 5 minutes before touching."
In spite of himself, Draco was actually enjoying the show. He surreptitiously began taking notes and was surprised to realize that the idea of freshly baked food was exciting him.
While the pretzels were baking, Harry made up another bowl that combined some cheese, rosemary, garlic powder, black pepper and salt. When the pretzels came out and cooled enough to touch, he brushed on a bit of melted butter then sprinkled the seasonings on top. Then he pulled out a knife and cut up the pretzels into sample sized pieces. Tiny stepped up and began distributing them to the audience. Draco examined his piece, sniffed it and after he popped it into his mouth; his eyes rolled up and he swore that his brain froze from sensory overload. The pretzel just seemed to slowly melt in his mouth with minimal chewing.
Harry approached the arrogant Gryffindor afterwards with a knowing grin on his face, "So? How'd you like the show?"
Draco slowly shook his head, "Words cannot…describe. Merlin, Potter! That was… and you… gah! Why in all things magic were you not sorted into Slytherin! You could rule the world with this quality of cooking, or was this baking?"
Harry shrugged, "It was a little of both. I got sorted where I did because I asked for it. I didn't want to be looked down upon as part of the usual animosity between Gryffindor and Slytherin, I like to study but not excessively so. Hufflpuff just seems to…I don't know. It's like my House is the…what's the word… Tiny!"
Tiny popped over, "Yes, Little Sir?"
"What's the word to describe a House that has all the other features of the other three? I know it starts with the letter E."
Tiny scrunched her face up in thought, "Ah, embodiment!"
Harry threw his hands up in a 'aha!' gesture, "Yes, thanks Tiny. Hufflepuff is the embodiment of the characteristics of the other three Houses. We have the brave, the intelligent and the cunning. We just know how to work together and solve our differences without getting violent."
A couple of days after Albus' arrest for attempting to attack Daggerclaw…
Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Director Bones' Office
Amelia pulled out her 'not so secret' secret bottle of firewhiskey and poured herself a large glass. She tried to relax in her chair but the report from Albus' 'interrogation' left her on edge and with a bad taste in her mouth. After his blow-up and subsequent attempted attack on Daggerclaw, Albus had been stunned then taken to the DMLE holding cells for further evaluation. The department's Healer ran several diagnostics as well as peering into his mind using Legilimency. What she found was the cause of Amelia's disturbance.
Thoughts (ravings really) of mass genocide, destruction of several old Families (through selective breeding), suppression of progressive ideas and his plans to further the ideological conflicts between the muggles, muggleborn and purebloods just so he could increase his grip over the future of Magical Britain and eventually the world. She remembered from her own history lessons that Gellert Grindlewald had espoused the same ideas for the 'Greater Good' however his method was to start an outright war between the muggles and wizard-kind whereas Albus wanted to go the quieter, subtle route of having what amounted to an essentially captive audience and introduce his manipulations slowly. A kind word here, an introduction there, subtly steering the young impressionable minds of the nation's youth to accept him as the wise benevolent leader with the Merlin-like appearance.
Amelia swallowed the rest of her whiskey and pushed a button on her desk, "Get me Director Croaker in the DoM."
When Croaker arrived, his face was impassive, "I take it you've read the report of the interrogation of Albus Dumbledore?"
Amelia grimaced as she poured him a glass, "I was sick to my stomach. How does someone like him manage to pull the wool over everyone's eyes and for so long?"
"Slow and steady wins the race, it appears. Taking a long con approach by becoming an educator was apparently the winning strategy as opposed to the route Grindlewald or even Voldemort took. Killing people off in a violent manner, bombings, imperiusing others to do your dirty work, threats; these are the loud and dirty methods to achieving a goal and yet every time some idiot tries it, they end up dead or in prison. Albus' method is almost elegant and cunning; I'm eternally relieved that neither Dark Lords ever went that route."
Amelia sipped on her whiskey, "So what do we do now? I mean, first and foremost Albus needs to be put on trial. That's a given; the world needs to know just how far their idol has fallen as well as all of his other misdeeds in the inane pursuit of some nebulous Greater Good. It's the punishment I'm worried about. Should we lock him away in Azkaban where there's the remote likelihood that he could escape or toss him through the Veil of Death? Or do you want to get creative?"
Croaker looked up from his glass, "Creative? In what way? Launch him out of a cannon into a brick wall until he's just a splatter of gore and bone?" Amelia chuckled.
"No, I was thinking of binding down his magic to something like that of a squib, obliviating him of the knowledge of magic as well as his ability to remember how to communicate in English then dropping him in some far-flung remote country."
Now it was Croaker's turn to laugh, "I hadn't thought of that! That would be a fitting end, to die in some rat hole of a country with no one knowing who you are."
"What about running an experiment to see what happens when a convict is slowly pushed through the Veil feet first? How long does it take them to die? If you want to get vicious, I say that we should chain him to a large container of soil and plant a tiny cutting of Devil's Snare or Venomous Tentacular and let it slowly digest him."
"Amelia, I think you've been thinking about this a bit too much. Creative is good but unless you're willing to go Dark, then try to stick with the more ironic punishments. Besides, we've already done those experiments."
Silence reigned for a few moments before Amelia broached the other big item, "What's going on with that other professor, Squirrel I think his name was?"
Croaker drained the last of his whiskey, "Quirrell. Quirius Quirrell and he's still in stasis at the moment. We're trying to figure out a way to separate him from the parasite so both can be examined. As of right now, it's not looking too hopeful."
"Is it true though? The parasite is actually V-Voldemort?"
"Yes, but not all of him. In between the research on how to separate the two, my teams have delved into the parasite's mind and discovered that he'd created multiple containers to house his soul. I won't bother you with the details simply because they're my department's remission to deal with. Suffice to say, it's going to be quite the job rounding them all up and disposing them. He's already told us where two of these foul things are and we're looking into a third possibility."
"Are the locations anything I need to worry about?"
Croaker sighed and scratched his beard, "One is located in his mother's hovel of a home, the second was given to Lucius Malfoy of all people, while the third is supposedly hidden in Hogwarts. That's the one that needs to be handled gently."
Amelia was perplexed, "Why can't you just rip the information out of his memory?"
Croaker harrumphed, "Clever bastard put up mental versions of 'explosive booby-traps' should anyone try to force the extraction. Those explosives go off and the information, as well as the intruder, is destroyed. The intruder becomes mind-wiped similar to that of a Dementor's Kiss."
Her eyes bugged out, "Merlin!"
Croaker waved his hand as if to say, 'Right?' "So things have to be taken very slow and carefully."
Hogwarts Library
In a manner completely uncharacteristic of Peeves, he calmly floated through the aisles looking for the section on genealogy. If anyone had seen him they probably would've been worried for a number of reasons. First and foremost was how determined he looked and not that usual 'demented determined' to cause chaos either. Second was the fact that he wasn't trying to pull books and scrolls off the shelves; he appeared to be searching for some lost bit of information. Finally, he was speaking in a normal manner instead of that screeching, Pidgin English manner he normally used.
"Where is it, I know that I've seen it here before… ah, here we go." He slid a dusty tome off the shelf and carried it over to a table. After a few minutes of scrolling through the faded names, he found what he was looking for.
"Granger… runs back to… ok, Elphias Granger, Squib son of Bertrum and Antoniette Dagworth-Granger…runs back to… Hel...well, isn't that interesting? I need to find her portrait."
Recipes:
Mozzarella Stuffed Rosemary and Parmesan Soft Pretzels (Pinterest)
