RECAP OF CHAPTER 13: The chapter starts off with a flashback to the spring of 97 As Pyrrha arrived at Jaune's doorstep due to her parents having another argument. Jaune and Pyrrha mused over the her parents failing marriage as they snuggled.
After the flashback, we cut to Jaune just returning from a small gathering of his friends to celebrate that Blake's ex Adam had been sentenced to jail time for the abuse Blake suffered at his hands. while he wouldn't be gone for more than a couple years, it was enough of a call for celebration for Blake. During a brief discussion with his mother, he also learned that they caught the driver of the vehicle that grievously injured Weiss and mildly injured Jaune. Identifying her as one SALEM OZPIN the former wife of the school principal and boyfriend of Mina's.
After a brief AIM chat with Weiss and Ruby celebrating this fact, Mina called Jaune to advise him that he had received a package in the mail from Samantha Nikos, Pyrrha's mother, and attached letter ha said that Pyrrha had left instructions for the contents of the box to be sent to Jaune after she died. This confused Jaune and Mina as they couldn't figure out how Pyrrha would know to leave such a note since her death was ruled a tragic accident.
When Jaune investigated the contents of the box in secret Mina called Samantha Nikos learning of her and her husbands divorce. As this happend, Jaune found a letter from Pyrrha stuffed into a notebook she used for gaming revealing the awfull truth to Jaune that she had in fact taken her own life that fateful June day. Absolutely devastated to learn this it took both Mina and the just arriving Ruby comforting the devastated Jaune to help him regain some semblance of calm.
The Chapter ended with a sleeping Jaune resting his head on Ruby's lap, in a mirror of the way he used to comfort his late ex Girlfriend.
AS A WARNING: This chapter continues the themes and fallout of the events of the previous chapter. A recap will also be posted in the next chapter of the events of this chapter.
December 15th 1998...
Jaune sat around the usual morning table with his friends. If he was feeling introspective he would recognize that half the people at this table were here because of his actions in the last few months, but this was not to be. Blake smiled and looked more relaxed than anyone could recall her looking. Weiss was relaxed and leaning forward in her chair with a smile on her face. Yang was helping Blake and Weiss practice Sign language as she had been for the last few weeks. Jaune could make out that the conversation was about Christmas party plans at Weiss's house on the 23rd.
Jaune however watched this unfold passively as if he was watching this conversation taking place through the eyes of someone else. Only Ruby would understand the reason and the full story of the situation that had left him in this state. He had asked her to keep quiet as well as the few people who knew the truth about Pyrrha's death.
He didn't even get out of bed yesterday and his mother called him out of school for the day. No one even asked why, Ozpin probably just rubber stamped it as an excused absence. The last thing he wanted now was to be looked after or cared for.
"I don't need to be bombarded with questions and pity comments from the others. I really can't tolerate it right now" Jaune thought as he sat with his friends, that was until Weiss had turned and asked him a question.
"Hey, your being too quiet over there Jaune, you got anything you want to add to this?" Weiss asked him bringing the focus of the conversation down on him.
Jaune blinked a couple times as he seemed to noticeably reboot and he signed out a response [Sorry I don't really have any solid idea's].
Weiss waited till Yang translated what he signed before she spoke back up "Well your no help, maybe bring some video games with you then?"
[Sorry All I got is an old NES and three games for it, and one of those is Tetris] Jaune signed.
[He's really good at it as well.] Ruby added. [Like stupid good at it.]
Jaune shot her a thumbs up. Yang interpreted for Weiss who shrugged "Well at least show up then and try to look happy, you've been kinda sitting there like a corpse all morning."
Ruby winced at the comment but said nothing, Jaune didn't even react except to say [Yeah I'll see if I can make it, I'm trying to keep my plans one day at a time right now.]
Yang translated for the other and then said "What do you mean that buddy, you okay?"
Jaune's eyes lit up and he played it off with a wave before signing [Oh i'm fine don't worry about it.]
Ruby and yang exchanged glances before Yang spoke up "Okay well let us know if you end up being able to make it."
Jaune just gave a thumbs up.
It was Ruby's turn to propose something [Actually I got a copy of Golden for the 'Sixty four' at home, anyone want to come by and play some multiplayer today after class?]
Blake shrugged after yang interpreted "Yeah I guess I can be talked into it."
Yang said "I mean I'd suggest we drag your Nintendo 64 out to my mom's place so we don't have to have your bitch of a mom try to burn a hole in the back of our heads due to Jaune being a guy"
Jaune shrugged [I'd agree with that, but I'd rather have Ruby's mom attempt to set me on fire with her eyeballs than have to lug my ass home tonight from the edge of town.]
"That's fine, I don't think my parents want me that far away from my home either way" Weiss said.
"So it's decided, lets all meet up here after school and we we'll walk or roll over to Ruby's for video games!" Yang said throwing her fist in excitement.
As the ground split up to head for their various classes Jaune was stopped by someone grabbing his sleeve. He turned around and saw Ruby looking at him smiling...
Except for a second it wasn't Ruby, for a second, it looked like Pyrrha. His eyes shot wide for a second until reality set back in and he smiled like a dope at her
[Hey, if your not up for it, you don't need to be there you know?] Ruby signed to Jaune.
Jaune shook his head [It's probably better if I got out of the house. I didn't really function much yesterday, I think it'd be better if I was far away from that box for a few hours.]
Ruby sighed out and pulled Jaune into a hug, which Jaune would have to admit to himself he enjoyed a lot. He enjoyed her hugs so much that he felt the absence of her touch when she pulled back from him. [We better get to class, and yeah meet us here so I don't have to worry about you all day today after classes.]
Jaune smiled and nodded before shooting her a two finger salute to excuse himself for his own classes.
Through out the day Jaune's mind was a jumble of confusing thoughts. He struggled in classes to focus on his work and kept trying to sort out what he was feeling. He felt a terrible sense of hollowness inside of him he didn't feel before even after losing Pyrrha, It didn't help that just as he was accepting her loss and getting ready to move on he learned that Pyrrha had taken her own life.
While it hurt at the time to learn what really happened to Pyrrha, now he just felt a numbness and a disconnected feeling as if he wasn't really inside his own body. He also had to deal with the other elephant in the room. That other bridge that waiting to be crossed.
No mater what Pyrrha said in her letter about not blaming Jaune, he blamed himself. Pyrrha admitted that she didn't want to face the world with out him and took her own life because he wasn't there.
That was the mind set he was in after class, as the weight of that responsibility crushed down on him. Jaune's mind screamed out "God damn you Pyrrha... It was only supposed to be a few years!"
By the time he saw the girls he was no longer in the mood for much of anything. While Ruby seemed to catch on this, the others either failed to notice it or didn't pay it much mind. Jaune casually waved to his friends as he approached them.
"Hey Jaune, you ready to go?" Yang asked him as he walked up.
Jaune only mustered a Grunt as he got behind the handles of Weiss's chair.
"I'll take that as a yes then." Weiss said with a shrug.
Jaune glanced over at Ruby. When she caught his eyes she smiled at him and tilted her head slightly. Jaune found himself smiling despite himself, and that void inside of him felt smaller somehow.
the group started to walk towards Ruby's house. Jaune listened in to the girls talk.
"So what's going on with that Neptune guy Yang?" Weiss asked. "You seemed to be sweet on him at the dance."
Jaune had been wondering about this as well.
"Well, I'm not going to pretend that i'm madly in love with the guy. Well at least not yet." Yang said with a slight blush "But I think I'm going to keep him around you know?"
Blake had let out a small chuckle "You two seem cute together."
Ruby gave her half sister a two thumbs up, Even Jaune smiled and gave her an approving nod.
"Just don't start planing my wedding for me or anything, we went on like... Okay 5 dates." Yang said as the group walked.
Jaune shifted his hands so he was pushing Weiss's chair with one arm and lifted his other hand to finger sign [You know the rule is after the third date he's officially your boyfriend right?]
"Shut your your lying mouth Jaune!" Yang said blushing.
Ruby chuckled off to the side while Blake and Weiss asked yang what Jaune said just then.
"I'm not telling you! If you want to know, get good and learn!" Yang barked out at the pair.
This only made Ruby giggle harder. Jaune felt his chest warm up hearing her soft giggle. "Man I have to figure out what the hell is making me feel like that."
As the group found themselves lounging out in Ruby's living room, Jaune was the one behind the TV plugging Ruby's Nintendo 64 into the TV, he couldn't help but smile "Damn girl has a PlayStation and a Nintendo 64? How is that fair, I can't even swing a used SNES." Jaune got up and signed out [Okay so I think that's right but I'm guessing as to what cable went to what because of that whole color thing]
"Well if the TV makes a noise similar to a dying giraffe than we know you did it wrong, fire it up!" Yang shouted to Jaune.
Jaune covered one ear and switched the console on, we was pleased that the noise that came out of it was a heartbeat sound with a spinning Nintendo logo. Satisfied Jaune went and sat down next to Ruby, sitting close to her for the first time in a couple days he felt a sense of calm come over him.
Jaune opted to sit it out and watch the others. When Ruby went and got her controller and sat back down she sat with her leg brushing against his. Jaune felt an uncomfortable blush creepy on his face and considered shifting his weight away from her. but because it did feel pretty nice he opted not to.
Jaune watched poor Blake and Weiss get steamrolled by Ruby, Yang faired much better than the others but it was still one sided. But his focus was on the girl who was increasingly leaning on him. Jaune started to subtly lean back into her. After all he didn't want to get pushed over by her of course. Jaune felt at ease, he felt a warmth inside of him, and it felt nice.
It hit Jaune like a sack of bricks when he realized why "I'm in love with her..." The realization caused him to lock up, his brain just froze in place in shock. he heard his name but it didn't register "How did I let this happen, how could I have been so stupid!"
Then Ruby slugged him in the shoulder shaking him out of his stupor. Jaune looked over at the girl sitting next to him who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow as she signed out of him. [Dude your turn. They won't let me play anymore.]
[I'll pass, tell them to get good.] Jaune signed back.
[Are you not feeling good?] Ruby signed back to him, your looking flushed.
[I guess I should call it here, I'm not feeling all there at the moment.] Jaune signed back to her.
"Sorry everyone, seems like Jaune is checking out on us. looks like he's not feeling great." Yang said to Blake and Weiss who both groaned.
"Can we at least restrict her to the PP7 only?" Blake asked sweetly As Jaune got up and departed with a slight wave rather than his typical exit salute. Jaune wouldn't realize it till he got him, but he forgot to grab his book bag, Ruby took note of it however.
Later that evening Jaune sat alone in his home, his mother was out on a date with Ozpin and left a note with a TV dinner in the freezer for him. He wasn't feeling hungry at the moment however. When he logged onto AIM he hit the "appear invisible button" so no one would pester him for the time being. As he had done a dozen times he stared at an open AIM window with one "PNIKOS15" thinking of what he wanted to say to her.
DARKKNIGHTARC: I'm sorry...
DARKKNIGHTARC: I'm sorry I didn't type this up two days ago when I read your letter. If it makes you feel any better, I hear your mom kicked your dad to the curb finally. I guess that must be nice to know.
Jaune paused as he looked down at his hands, he felt himself detach from his body.
DARKKNIGHTARC: God damn you Pyrrha... We said 3 years and we could be back together. I told you I'd try to be on AIM as much as I could be. I'm sorry my fucking dial up took so god damn long to set up.
Jaune paused as a sob broke from his throat and he grabbed at his hair pulling on it so he could just feel anything other than the weight crushing down on him.
DARKKNIGHTARC: I feel like I failed you, like if I had just fought a little bit harder for you, for us! Maybe if I was there I could have stopped you. Fuck maybe if I was there it never would have happened. It would have been like every other time your parents had a fight and you'd be in my arms in my home.
DARKKNIGHTARC: But I left you alone... and then you left me forever. I get to feel your loss for the rest of my life. I get to feel the guilt every god damn time I look at a picture of you. I get to feel guilt every time I feel like I'm falling in love again.
DARKKNIGHTARC: That's what I'm really sorry for, I made a promise to honor you, well before I knew how you really died and now... Now I'm failing you even in that small way... I let my self fall for someone here... I don't know if it would have happened if you were still here... But I let it happen, I wasn't careful enough.
Jaune had to pause again to rub his eyes, he saw the group chat window open as Weiss, Blake and Yang were all chatting but he was ignoring it. Guilt crushed him like it was the first time he felt it after he started making new friends at the school.
When he lowered his hands back to the keys the light in his eyes was gone. He didn't know if love could save someone, but he was keenly aware that love could kill someone. He wanted nothing but to be free from the burden.
DARKKNIGHTARC: I think this is going to be the last time I send you a message like this. I can't keep living with this guilt. I can't keep feeling like this... We have a long enough knife in the Kitchen that I can use... I'll see you in a few minutes.
Jaune signed off the computer and slowly stood up and left his room.
So how are you all. Hopefully your all fine as you are reading this. I'm just going to slip a number here and if your not fine, or feeling like doing what Jaune's about to do to yourself consider giving it a call. 1-800-273-8255
That being said, this is either going to lead to the sudden had sad end of this story, or it's going to be where Jaune hits rock bottom. You really can't fall much farther than this.
I didn't get to slightly brag about me doing my research last chapter, but one of the biggest hints of how it would all end for Jaune and Pyrrha was the Aerosmith song they danced to for the first time, go read the Lyrics for the song Cryin and you'll get what I mean.
In unrelated news, Dust Eater chapter 40 is up. I know theirs not a lot of overlap between the readers of that story and this one, but holy crap I got a story up to chapter 40. I wanted to low key brag about that, I'm not sorry.
Getting slightly back on topic, I'm going to be straight with you all, there were about.. four, maybe 5 key events I wanted to touch on as part of the very first draft of this story. Pyrrha's passing, Jaune getting into an argument with Yang and then becoming friends with Ruby. The Events of "The Box", This chapter and what's going to happen next chapter. Next chapter is going to be a hard one for me to write, so I hope I see you all here for it.
