Who's ready?
Tomorrow Never Came
Chapter 6
Sirius reclined in the wicker patio chair and let out a content sigh, pushing his aviator sunglasses back up his nose and turning his face towards the bright spring sunshine. He had spent the morning in the back garden tinkering with his bike, and was now taking, what was in his opinion, a well deserved break.
Truth be told the term 'garden' didn't really suit the space in which Sirius was relaxing, it was more of an enclosed courtyard. He was sat on a stone patio which stepped down onto a narrow strip of grass, and the whole area was bordered by tall brick walls which had ivy growing up them in spindly strands. It wasn't much, and Sirius would have loved a bigger garden for Teddy to play in when the Lupins visited, but the space allowed him to work on his bike in privacy and have easy access to the road through the narrow ally and iron gate down the side of the house.
Sirius glanced over to the machine in question. Since Hagrid had returned it to him at the end of the War he had been readjusting it to his own needs, not those of a half giant. All in all, however, Hagrid had kept it in very good condition (Sirius had been all too eager to get rid of that bloody sidecar though).
The Marauder didn't know how he was going to keep his mind occupied once his maintenance of the bike was complete, but for now he tried not to worry about that. He shook the thoughts from his head and resumed his sunbathing position, closing his eyes to protect them from the suns rays.
Right now life was good.
In three days the Quidditch League play offs began and Sirius would be commentating along with Eric O'Byrne, that morning he had received an owl from Taylor saying that she would be back in the country in a weeks' time and that they should meet up for a 'drink' when she was, and to top it all off Harry had seemed to have completely moved on from the discovery of his Godmother, as he hadn't mentioned her once since her discovery.
Life, indeed, was good.
Perhaps Sirius would go for a drink that evening… The good weather made him yearn to be sat in a beer garden with a chilled pint of cider in hand. Maybe he could persuade Remus to join him, Sirius was sure Tonks wouldn't mind. Or maybe Hagrid?
"Sirius?" Harry's voice sounded from the patio door that lead into the drawing room, interrupting Sirius' planning process, but the Animagus didn't open his eyes. He remained reclined towards the sun, enjoying the warmth on his face. He did however raise a hand in greeting towards the doorway.
"Alright kid?" He called out. "You had a good morning? What have you been up to?"
"Uhhhh…" At Harry's unsure exclamation Sirius furrowed his brows and sat up to look at him. However the second he looked in his Godsons direction Sirius very much wished he hadn't. His jaw dropped and he felt the air leave his body as if Harry had walked over and punched him in throat.
If Sirius' eyes weren't deceiving him, Ren Gallagher was standing beside Harry, looking positively terrified.
So much for Harry forgetting about his Godmother! If that was the case Sirius wouldn't be sat there looking like a deer in headlights! Even though his body was frozen in place his mind was spinning. What was she doing here?! Or was Sirius simply hallucinating? Yes that must have been it! How on Earth would Harry have been able to track her down?
'Don't be fucking stupid. That's her alright. The genuine article. The real deal.' Sirius thought as he gawked at her.
Despite the eighteen long years between that moment and the last time he had seen her, Sirius couldn't deny that Ren looked beautiful. She still had the brunette hair that she would always describe as unruly and unmanageable, but all Sirius had always seen were lustrous curls that bounced as she walked. She still had eyes that were as rich as molasses and just as liquid, only now they were framed perfectly by faint lines of age.
She was dressed in a crisp white shirt, a sky blue pencil skirt and nude high heels. It was completely different from the band t-shirts and ripped jeans Sirius remembered her living in, but she was a woman now and her appearance reflected that perfectly. However as they stared at each other all Sirius could see was the girl he had fallen in love with at Hogwarts. She was still that person. He could tell.
"Surprise!" Tonks voice sounded from behind Ren and Harry, and it was only then that Sirius noticed his cousin stood in their wake alongside Ron, Hermione and Remus, who was holding Teddy. Sirius caught Remus' gaze but the Werewolf only shrugged and gave him a rueful smile, so he turned back to Harry and Ren.
"Hi Sirius," The woman said, her breath shaken.
Her voice was the same. That warm but husky tone struck a chord with Sirius as he listened to her say his name for the first time in nearly two decades. He had missed the way she said it. He had missed her voice in general. The photographs did nothing to preserve the memory of the voice which he remembered could sing so sweetly. In all honesty Sirius had began to forget what she sounded like.
"Ren," Was all he managed to choke out. He turned to the boy beside her. "Harry- what…" Trailing off, Sirius glanced down and slowly removed the sunglasses from his face before looking up again. He did not miss the intake of breath from Ren, and he suspected that neither did anyone else. "What are you doing here?"
His attention had diverted back to Ren and he had directed the question to her. He had tried his best to not sound too abrupt but Sirius wasn't sure if he had been successful or not, because at his words Ren stiffened and straightened herself up.
"Harry found me." She said simply, although Sirius could have figured that much out for himself. He should have known that the boy wouldn't have just left the matter alone. It just wasn't in his nature.
Sirius forced himself to look away as his jaw clenched in annoyance. He couldn't really blame his Godson but a part of him wished that Harry had taken his feelings into consideration. Did Harry not even think that seeing Ren again after all these years would tear his newly mended heart in two all over again?
The Animagus took a deep breath in order to steady himself.
No.
He couldn't be mad at Harry. He wouldn't blame him. When Sirius looked to the boy he could see that Harry was terrified for his reaction, obviously waiting with bated breath to see whether Sirius would lose his temper, and it seemed the rest of their little audience felt the same. All eyes were on the three-way stand off between Sirius, Harry and Ren. Tonks was even peeking through her fingers as if she was watching one of those Muggle horror films. Sirius forced out a weak chuckle.
"I guess I should have known he would." He managed to say, aware of the fact he was speaking through gritted teeth. He looked at Ren as he spoke, and Sirius could tell that she knew he wasn't exactly pleased. The almost hopeful expression she had worn on her face faded away and instead settled into a stony stare.
This was too much for Sirius. A wave of nausea washed over him suddenly.
"Now if you'll excuse me-" He tore his eyes away from Ren's. If he stared into them any longer he feared he would indeed be sick there and then. "-I'm going to go to the bathroom." Sirius excused himself weakly and stepped forward, making to move past the party. Namely the two people heading it.
Sirius fixed his eyes to the floor as he passed Ren in the doorway, but he wasn't quick enough to escape the scent of vanilla which he was intoxicatedly attracted to from meeting his nose. He faltered slightly when it did so but soon redoubled his pace in an attempt to get away from the group.
"Well that went well." Sirius heard Ron say as he stalked through the drawing room and into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind him.
-x-
His fingers gripped the marble basin so fiercely that Sirius feared he could well break it. He was bracing himself in the bathroom on the top floor of Grimmauld Place opposite his and Regulus' bedrooms, having just finished throwing up the contents of his stomach. Although the nausea had now subsided Sirius could feel the mother of all migraines blooming to take its place.
Wonderful. Simply fucking wonderful.
Sirius had never imagined that seeing Ren again would cause this reaction within him, but the sickness he was dealing with was nothing compared to the anger he felt. Anger because Sirius completely understood that Ren and himself would never be able to pick up where they had left off, and yet his body still couldn't handle seeing her.
For all he knew Ren was probably married with a brood of her own children to look after. It wasn't like Sirius had stuck around downstairs to find out. His anger now threatened to overwhelm him. The thought of some other wizard taking his place made his blood boil.
Perhaps that was why Sirius had simply tried to convince himself that Ren was probably dead after all these years. Because while the idea of her being dead filled him with a gut wrenching sadness, it was easier for him to process than the white hot anger that he was now experiencing at the thought of Ren moving on and living her life while he had been rotting away in Azkaban for a crime he hadn't committed!
Sirius released the sink from his grip and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, pulling at the strands so hard that clumps came loose.
What kind of person was he for thinking that?! How could he be angry at her for living her life?
'Because she lived it without you.'
A tear slipped down Sirius' cheek but he quickly wiped it away, and then brutally pressed the balls of hands into his eyes in order to prevent any more of the traitorous tears from falling. After a few moments he slid his hands down his face, studying himself in the mirror that hung on the wall before him.
Sighing, Sirius realised he needed to stop this and think of Harry. It was clear that the boy wanted both Sirius and Ren in his life, or else he wouldn't have brought her here. He couldn't exactly make Harry choose between them. What kind of monster would that make him? Sirius loved Harry too much to put him through that. He knew he was going to have to put his Godson's feelings before his own frustration, sadness and anger.
"Get a grip, Black." Sirius muttered to himself. He would go back down there and… he didn't know, sit and have a cup of tea with this ridiculous fucked up family, because he knew that's what Harry would want. "Yeah, tea. I can do tea. Tea with Ren. Tea is fine." Sirius attempted to hype himself up.
He grabbed hold of the handle and pulled the door open with renewed vigour, determined to be a good Godfather to Harry, however when he marched onto the landing and saw the object of his dreams (now turned nightmares) Ren Gallagher sitting at the top of the stairs, quite obviously waiting for him, Sirius very much felt like turning around and running back into the bathroom to hide.
In fact that sounded like a wonderful idea. He spun around, but it was too late. Ren had spotted him.
"Don't you fucking dare!" She exclaimed when she saw Sirius scurrying back into the bathroom. He saw her leaping up and dashing across the landing in an attempt to stop the forty year old man from hiding from her, but she was too slow.
Sirius managed to slam the door close just as Ren threw her body against it, grabbing the doorknob and rattling it. Her weight managed to unlatch the door and jolt it open slightly, but Sirius was still pushing against it with all of his might. "Sirius Orion Black you better open this pissing door! NOW!" Ren seethed through the small open gap, and the anger in her voice only made Sirius more determined to hide.
"No!" He retaliated, straining against the door to keep it shut as it quaked and rattled under the pressure. Merlin he had forgotten how strong Ren was.
"This is ridiculous! Open. The. Door!" She punctured each word with an almighty shove, but Sirius managed to hold the door close by the grace of Godric himself it seemed.
"NO!" He shouted again, knowing it was a pitiful argument but he didn't trust himself to say anything else.
"Jesus Christ you're pathetic!" Ren screeched, and these words seemed to flick a switch in Sirius.
He grabbed the door handle and wrenched the door open so suddenly that Ren, who was still pressing all of her weight against the frame, was barrelled forward straight into Sirius, but the man didn't even wait for Ren to steady herself before he started bellowing at her at the top of his lungs.
"I'm pathetic?! Oh I'm so fucking sorry! How the hell did you think I would react to seeing you waltz into my home?!" He all but roared. "Did you expect me to embrace you with open fucking arms?! Are you really that idiotic to think that everything would be fine between us?!"
"I'M NOT HERE FOR YOU!" Ren shrieked back, visibly shaking with rage, Sirius felt as if she had punched him in the gut.
He fell silent and the pair stood there, inches from each other, staring into each others eyes and panting heavily. "I'm not here for you Sirius," Ren repeated, although this time her voice was quiet and breathless. "Do you think I don't realise that it's too late for us? I was well aware that coming here, seeing you, would be… be horrible for both of us, but," Ren paused. She looked down and took a deep breath. "I'm here for Harry."
At her words Sirius looked away. He had already known everything she had said to be true, but it still hurt. A part of him wished she was there for him instead of Harry. He forced himself to look at her and it seemed that she was doing the same. Grey eyes met brown. "Harry found me. And… I think he wants me to be in his life." She said. "And I know that me being in his life means you being in mine again… and me in yours, and that's going to be-" she swallowed. "-really fucking hard for both of us."
'That's putting it lightly.' Sirius thought. "But I really want to try." Ren finished, and Sirius sighed.
"You're right." He said gruffly.
He was unsure of what else to say and after a few moments of silence Ren seemed to take that as a dismissal, for she gave him a weak smile and slowly turned, making her way towards the staircase. "Wait!" Sirius jolted after her, not meaning for her to leave. Without even thinking he grabbed her hand in order to stop her.
The spark that Sirius felt at the touch of her skin was something he hadn't experienced for eighteen long years, and it startled him so much that he dropped her hand and leapt away from her. Ren doing the same led him to believe that she had felt it too. They both seemed to think better of mentioning it though. 'Say something, Black!' He thought to himself in a frenzy. 'Something. Anything! Just don't let her leave!'
Sirius gulped. "How… How about Puddlemere United eh? What a game they played on Monday."
… Quidditch? Out of all the things he could have said his brain settled on Quidditch?! Ren was clearly baffled as well if the flabbergasted look on her face was anything to go by. 'I'm going to go and find the nearest bridge and throw myself off it.' Sirius thought. Ren faced him fully and shrugged slightly as she folded her arms over her chest.
"I suppose. But if you ask me Walters missed a few easy shots. Despite the win they could have done with the extra points to put as much distance between them and the Harpies as possible." She said nonchalantly.
Sirius couldn't help himself. He grinned at her. It was the first proper smile he'd given since Ren had set foot in the house, and the woman in question couldn't seem to resist smiling back at him. "Am I wrong?" She asked coyly, one sculpted brow raised, to which Sirius let out a low chuckle.
"No you're not." He agreed, feeling himself relax. For the first time he looked at her and could see past the sadness, guilt and resentment that had clouded his vision. Maybe… Maybe they were still the same people.
Ren also seemed to have a reflective glint in her eye, but she dismissed it and cleared her throat.
"I should probably go." She said. "I'm going to my sisters for tea." She added by way of explanation.
"Vanessa?" Sirius asked before he could stop himself. It was peculiar to think about Ren's family. All these years he had spent thinking of Ren and yet he hadn't passed much thought on the Gallagher family. "How is she?" He questioned when Ren nodded in confirmation.
"She's good. Married now with two beautiful daughters. She runs her own little fashion boutique in Diagon Ally." She added. Sirius wondered if Ren was trying to steer clear from the subject of marriage and kids on purpose.
"Really?"
"Yeah. 'Beyond the Ally' it's called." Ren explained. Huh. A part of Sirius struggled to see Vanessa being anything but the slightly bratty teenage girl she had been when Sirius had first met Ren. He almost wished he hadn't asked about Vanessa because he now wanted to know about the rest of her family. Her brother Ollie. Her parents Emmett and Violet. Her cousins Lennie and Dexter (who were just two of many). Even her crazy Aunty Brenda.
What had become of them? "Anyway-" Ren began to excuse herself once again but Sirius stopped her. Again.
"Come for a drink with me." He blurted out before he could even stop himself. Ren looked surprised by his proposal, so Sirius did his best to justify it before she could decline. "We… we need to talk. I- I want to know about you." It sounded rather pathetic when he put bit like that but Sirius didn't know how else to explain himself. Ren studied him for only a moment or two before responding, but to Sirius it felt like an eternity.
"Tomorrow night?" She simply asked, causing a wave of relief to wash over Sirius. He didn't think he could handle her rejection.
"Tomorrow night." He confirmed. "How about the Beaufort at the Savoy? Eight o'clock?" He suggested, naming the first Muggle bar that popped into his head. He didn't think meeting at a Wizarding establishment would end well.
"Okay. I'll see you there." Was all Ren said, and with a final glance she turned and began to descend the stairs.
Sirius simply stood there, completely shell shocked.
'Well,' He thought. 'This is going to be interesting.'
So what do we think of the reunion? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and let me know!
Just to let you know my uni work is really heating up and I need to focus on that, so I wanted to get this out to you so that I won't have to worry for a while. I'll hopefully get another chapter out before Christmas.
Eve x
