Pilot
Danville never was an ordinary kind of place. From an outsider's perspective sure, it seemed like just another of the myriad of cities dotted across the vast sprawl of American suburbia. Unlike all those other cities, however, anthropomorphic pets and scheming evil scientists weren't exactly restricted to the imagination.
But the newest thing to set Danville apart from the rest was perhaps the most peculiar. And as the waning sun began it's downward journey for the night, "he" appeared.
Swinging effortlessly from building to building, a spandex-covered figure traversed the maze that was Downtown Danville, keeping a watchful eye out for any sign of trouble. That was the case, until a ringtone started emanating from inside one of his suit's hidden zip pockets. The name "Turbo Ferbo" was displayed on the caller ID screen.
"What's up, Ferb?" Phineas asked, pulling his mask up above his mouth so that his voice would be more audible.
"Dinner's on the table,"Ferb said. "Smells like chicken casserole."
"I'll be right there," Phineas replied, licking his lips in anticipation. Just as he was about to set off in the direction of the suburbs, his ears pricked up at the wailing sound of a store alarm. Pushing his hungry thoughts to the back of his mind, Phineas set off once more in the direction of the disturbance. Dinner could wait for now.
A couple of blocks away, a mob of armed criminals had smashed through the glass store front of a jewelry store. The police wouldn't arrive for a good few minutes, and the rumoured vigilante was nowhere in sight. With those reassurances, the criminals began ransacking the store, stuffing fistfuls of necklaces and other valuables into their cavernous pockets.
A few citizens were anxiously watching the unfolding robbery, too scared to try and stop the the thieves, but not wanting to flee the scene just yet. Their eyes were drawn from the ongoing chaos within the store, however, as a thwipping sound passed overhead.
"Hey guys!" a voice from behind the criminals said enthusiastically. "Sorry I'm late, did I miss much?"
"It's Spider-Man!" a burly criminal yelled, drawing his handgun. "Shoot him!"
"Everyone, get out of the way!" Phineas shouted to the crowd behind him as a stream of bullets went flying towards him. Bobbing and weaving like a boxer on caffeine, Phineas threw himself around the room as he dodged all the incoming fire. Webshooters primed, he fired strand after strand of webbing at the firearms, yanking them forcefully from the hands of the criminals before webbing them to the ceiling.
"He took our guns!"
"Sorry boys," Phineas shrugged as he finished webbing the last gun to the ceiling. "But next time you feel like using the 2nd Amendment, let's try and use it for legal things instead of destroying people's livelihoods."
"Someone shut that freak up!" one of the criminals called out, the others cheering in agreement.
"Oh boy," Phineas said lowly to himself as the horde charged towards him. Practically limbo dancing underneath the first few outstretched arms, Phineas flung himself at a random criminal, throwing a few punches to ensure that his target was out cold. Instinctively moving his head to the right, he felt a singular bullet whizz past his left shoulder. Without looking, he fired one last strand of webbing behind him, successfully managing to tear the handgun from the thug.
Suddenly, the wailing of sirens and screeching tires could be heard from outside the storefront. Multiple policemen began streaming out from the fleet of cars parked out front, before spreading out to form a makeshift perimeter.
"They're all yours, officers," Phineas conceded, gesturing to the remaining criminals as he made his way to the exit.
"Hold it!" one of the officers ordered, stepping forward with his pistol raised at shoulder height. He was a Hispanic man, with a prominent beard made of thick black hair and more similarly colured hair beneath his hat. Even from behind the lenses of his mask, Phineas recognised him instantly. It was Mr Garcia Shapiro, Isabella's father.
"Is everything alright, officer?" Phineas asked hesitantly, not so subtly trying to make his voice sound deeper to disguise his identity. He didn't see Mr Garcia Shapiro often, as he usually spent most of his day on duty. Nonetheless, he didn't want to run the risk of his identity being exposed, especially to the dad of the girl he'd had a crush on for a few months now.
"You are under arrest for enforcing the law without permission from the legal authorities," Mr Garcia Shapiro said. "Put your hands where we can see them."
Before the officers had time to react, however, Phineas launched himself out into the open air with a single strand of his webbing, before landing and ducking out of sight on a nearby rooftop. Mr Garcia Shapiro and the rest of the police were just trying to do their jobs, and Phineas didn't want them getting hurt trying to arrest him. Unfortunately for him, vigilantism wasn't exactly legal in Danville, so the cops didn't exactly see him in the best light, no matter how much he tried to help out.
Once he was certain that the danger had passed, Phineas lazily swung home along the streets of Maple Drive. He launched himself through his bedroom's open window praying that nobody had seen him, before landing upside down on the ceiling. By the sounds he heard echoing from downstairs, however, it would appear that he had been spotted.
"MOM!" Candace yelled from somewhere below him. "I saw that spider guy swing into our house!"
"You know, Candace, I think Spider-Man has better things to be doing than snooping around Phineas and Ferb's bedroom," Linda said as she reluctantly followed her daughter upstairs. Despite the fact that she was now 18, Candace's "busting" urges had only seemed to grow, to the point where she decided to enrol in law school.
"Aha!" Candace said triumphantly as she barged through Phineas' door, only to find her brother lying in bed with the sheets tightly wrapped around himself, his head poking out from underneath his makeshift cocoon.
"What are you doing?" Candace inquired. "And more importantly, where is the spider?"
"No spiders in here," Phineas said, trying his best to remain casual. "That project was three weeks ago."
"Not your project, idiot," Candace groaned as she resisted the urge to face palm. "I saw Spider-Man landing in through your bedroom window, now where is he?"
Phineas observed with a mixture of worry and confusion as Candace began frantically checking every nook and cranny of his room. Spotting his unimpressed mother over by the doorway, he gave her a quick smile.
"What are you doing in bed, Phineas?" Linda asked.
"Oh, uh," Phineas stammered. Think Phineas, think. Why would you be under the covers at this particular moment? Come on, a good reason.
"Candace busted in while I was slightly naked," Phineas said in a tone he hoped was convincing. "And I'm just staying under here until she's finished whatever she's doing."
"And on that note, it's time to go Candace," Linda said, steering Candace out of the room before she could object. "Oh, and your dinner's on the table, Phineas. Don't take too long getting changed otherwise it'll go colder than it already is."
"Sure thing, Mom," Phineas said, before letting out a sigh of relief. Not even a minute later, the bedroom door swung open again, only this time it was Ferb there instead.
"You'd better not actually be naked under there," Ferb said. He had a whole collection of physics textbooks stuffed underneath his arm, and a fairly tattered backpack was clinging to his sweater.
"Don't worry, I'm still wearing the suit," Phineas chuckled, hopping out from beneath the covers. "What's with the books?"
Ferb raised an eyebrow, before reaching into his backpack with his free arm and pulling out a sheet of paper that read "Timetable".
"We're back tomorrow? Gosh, I didn't realise it was that soon."
"That's not the main issue," Ferb replied. "Remember what you've been doing over the past three weeks? Specifically involving our friends?"
Phineas' mouth formed an "o" shape as he realised what Ferb was insinuating. "Ohhhh, yeah, about that," Phineas began.
"They're gonna want an explanation as to why you've been avoiding them as of late."
"I haven't been avoiding them, Ferb," Phineas said, although even he found his tone flat and unconvincing. Upon seeing the unimpressed look on his brother's face, Phineas sighed, "Alright, I guess I have been avoiding them recently, but I've been doing it for a reason. You know as well as I do that I can't let them in on this," he gestured towards his red and blue suit.
"Just make sure your excuse is convincing," Ferb chuckled, turning to head out the door.
"Sure thing," Phineas nodded, watching as his brother shut the door gently behind him. "Alright, Phineas. Let's try and go at least a month without people finding out about all this." Chuckling to himself, Phineas approached the dirty mirror opposite his bed. "Last thing I need is Irving asking if I can shoot webs out my butt."
Hey all, I'm planning on turning this into a fully-fledged story once I have more chapters fully written. If you have any feedback or any place you'd like to see the story go, feel free to leave a review and I'll get back to you once the next chapter is up.
Take care,
Paleosapiens
