CHAPTER 44
Indiana
"Are you well, Kathryn?"
Seven touched her hand to Kathryn's shoulder but it did nothing to move the other woman's gaze from the large farmhouse they had been rapidly approaching. Kathryn had stopped walking and now seemed frozen in place. Seven felt an ache in her chest as she witnessed a single tear fall upon Kathryn's cheek.
"No." Kathryn's wide indigo eyes expelled more hot tears as her gaze remained on her childhood home where she knew her mother and sister were. "I don't believe I am."
"What is wrong?"
"How could I do this to them, Seven? How could I have hurt them so?" Kathryn's voice was tremulous, broken as her guilt swept over her. "And now, I'm just expecting them to forgive me."
"You are returning to them as you have returned to me." Seven gently placed her other hand on Kathryn's shoulder as she turned her so they were facing each other. Seven placed her fingers beneath Kathryn's chin so she could look into the other woman's indigo gaze. "There is nothing for them to forgive you of."
"Seven, the pain I caused them when I died, it was so immense, but I—I could only see you." Kathryn wanted to look away, tried to turn her head but Seven's loving look that still had traces of residual grief prevented her from doing so. Her voice was low and husky, made rough with tears both shed and unshed. "I was selfish and wanted to be with you. I didn't even attempt to comfort my mother or Phoebe, just you. Because I needed you too much. Don't you see? They should hate me for what I—"
Seven could listen to no more self-recrimination and so she silenced Kathryn the most efficient way she knew how. She hugged Kathryn close to her before she bent her head and abruptly covered Kathryn's lips with her own.
"You can't—" Kathryn's words escaped in the scant moments Seven's mouth was not upon hers. "Win…every argument…this…way."
"I believe I can." Seven held Kathryn in her strong arms as she gazed down upon her with a smirk to her full lips that vanished when her tone turned serious and earnest. "I accepted your survival, Kathryn, as did the others. Gretchen and Phoebe will accept you as well. And if it is necessary for them to do so, they will forgive you."
Kathryn brought one pale hand up to cup Seven's beautiful face as she smiled tentatively before she spoke softly with uncertainly. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because they love you." Seven covered Kathryn's hand that cupped her face with her own as she relished in the feel of Kathryn's touch and the knowledge that she was alive, that she was real and that she was hers. "I will be here with you, to face them. I am with you, always. I love you, Kathryn. "
"I like hearing you say that. I've waited a long time to hear you say those words to me, Seven." Kathryn brushed her lips over the other woman's and was nearly overwhelmed as she felt Seven's love for her mixing with her own. She knew it was dangerous, that she was the least controlled when she was so close to Seven but Kathryn, for this moment, didn't care.
Seven was the one to disengage from the kiss and their embrace. She knew full well that Kathryn would not allow anything more intimate than kissing and so Seven's self-control was put to the test. She had been Borg, she forced herself to resist. As Seven felt her body calming after the flood of arousal had coursed through her, she heard Kathryn let out a strangled sob.
It was then that Seven heard the screen door slam close and the sound of two pairs of footsteps rapidly approaching them from beyond the tall corn in front of her and Kathryn that swayed in the afternoon breeze. Seven's left hand was suddenly clasped tightly as Kathryn's posture straightened visibly as her entire being tensed.
And then Seven saw them as they rounded the small field of corn before they stopped abruptly as if frozen as they looked upon Kathryn for the first time since her return. Seven felt Kathryn's hand tighten around her own and wondered idly if her metal mesh would be able to withstand the strain. She didn't worry long because suddenly Kathryn's hand left hers and the woman was running towards her mother and sister. They too had broken out of their stiff stances and began rushing towards Kathryn as well.
"Kathryn!" Gretchen had tears of joy running down her cheeks as she fell into Kathryn's arms. Her voice was joyous as she thanked whatever force there was in the Universe who had saved her beloved daughter. She would have perhaps been surprised when a trio of beings recently pardoned replied, though she and every other mortal could not hear, that she was quite welcome. "My God, my sweet girl. I don't believe it!"
Kathryn held her mother as Gretchen's words crumbled just as much as her petite form as they both dropped to the ground, wrapped in each other's arms. Seven felt heartened by the sight of Kathryn reunited with her mother, but Phoebe's aloofness prevented her from feeling entirely comfortable. Phoebe's cold hard features filled Seven with uneasiness as she worried that Kathryn's fear would be realized.
Seven remained silent as she slowly moved away from Kathryn and Gretchen to stand next to the youngest Janeway. She didn't dare touch Phoebe's tense shoulders but she felt compelled to intervene if Phoebe was about to do anything that would cause Kathryn pain. How she was going to prevent such a possibility, Seven did not know, and it showed in her voice. "Phoebe Janeway?"
"Seven of Nine." Phoebe's jaw was clenched, her arms were folded over her chest and her narrowed gaze remained on her mother and sister. The expression on Phoebe's features was indecipherable to Seven, which concerned her greatly until she saw tears begin to fall from Phoebe's blue eyes as the youngest Janeway turned her gaze to Seven. Phoebe's voice was a whisper drifting upon the cool breeze. "Is it really her? She looks… different, so different. Tell me it's her, Seven, tell me it's Kathryn and I'll believe it. If you tell me you managed somehow to bring her back, I'll believe you."
"It is her, Phoebe." Seven smiled reassuringly, but Phoebe's attention was no longer on her as she moved towards her sister and mother.
"Kathryn?" Phoebe ignored the tears streaming down her face as she progressed ever so slowly towards Kathryn and Gretchen. She had one hand stretched out in front of her as the other one was held tightly to her chest in an attempt to clear away the hot tears constricting her throat, which made her voice hoarse. "Katie?"
"Hey, Phoebes." Kathryn's voice trembled as she looked at her sister with tears in her dark indigo eyes. She moved halfway out of Gretchen's embrace so she could hold an arm out in offering. A smirk played on her lips, though her voice was anything but teasing. "Did you miss me?"
The slap Phoebe delivered across Kathryn's face was as fast as it was fierce. It didn't harm Kathryn physically, but she felt it in her heart. But then Phoebe was in Kathryn's arms, sobbing against her sister's shoulder as she held her as tightly as she dared and Kathryn felt her chest swell with love and great relief.
Phoebe's sobs were muffled as Kathryn held her to her chest. She brushed a hand along Phoebe's dark red hair as she spoke soft words meant to soothe, but also to seek redemption for herself. "I'm sorry, Phoebe, I'm so sorry."
Seven turned away from the huddled forms of the three Janeway women. She had to. She felt like an intruder, an outsider not meant to witness such great love. She moved towards the wafting stalks of corn as inconspicuously as she could, not wanting to make a single sound to distract anyone.
Seven looked out upon the farmland and wondered about the child who had been raised here, how her experiences upon these acres had shaped her into the woman she had become. Seven knew Kathryn had always been ambitious, but it seemed almost absurd to Seven to think of a young child ever imagining becoming the powerful, complex being Kathryn Janeway now was. Too powerful and perhaps far too complex for even Seven to fully comprehend. Seven was aware that Kathryn was deeply concerned she had become too powerful, so Seven greatly feared her departure from Earth, the Alpha Quadrant or perhaps farther. Seven just hoped Kathryn would take her with her.
"Seven?"
Seven turned away from the swaying field of corn slowly upon hearing Kathryn's husky voice. What she saw made her breath catch and her chest to warm. Kathryn's dress moved like ocean waves across her skin and reflected the blue radiance that emanated from beneath Kathryn's ivory toned flesh. Seven smiled as she walked towards the trio of Janeway women, knowing that no matter how much Kathryn had changed this was still where she belonged.
"Yes, Kathryn?"
Kathryn smiled, flanked by her sister and her mother as she held her hand out to Seven and her voice was warm and inviting. "Let's go home."
"Seven, we mustn't do this."
Kathryn gently pulled away from Seven's hands on the small of her back and tangled in her long crimson locks and especially from her full, moist lips upon her own. She knew she should never have allowed their touches to get this far and felt guilt dampening her arousal. Kathryn was quite aware that this denial was not only tortuous for her, but for Seven as well. She didn't know what else to do. It was too dangerous to lose control and Seven's lips and hands, her body and her touch, her love and her desire were all close to undoing all of Kathryn's control.
It had been easier when they were with her mother and sister. With Seven by her side, Kathryn had spent most of the evening and well into the morning attempting to explain where she had been and what the Q, and later the merging with the Borg Queen, had turned her into. She honestly wasn't sure herself, so it had been difficult to explain it to her mother and Phoebe. But she had tried nonetheless and though they hadn't seemed entirely satisfied it had been enough that she had explained that she had spent over three centuries trying to return from the Continuum, to return to them. They had been accepting of that, too accepting for Kathryn knew she had had no intention of coming back to the Alpha Quadrant, to Earth and certainly not to the two people who meant more to her than she could possibly say before she had merged with the Borg Queen.
There was only one person who Kathryn was forced to admit, if only to herself, meant more to her than her mother or sister. Seven of Nine. Seven was the reason why Kathryn was now in the guest house on the Janeway Farm trying, trying so hard not to let her control slip when all she wanted to do was allow Seven to make love to her like she had wanted for so many years.
Seven felt her desire for Kathryn like a fire throughout her body. She wanted to comply with Kathryn's wishes, but her need for the woman who had so recently been returned to her was becoming overwhelming. Her voice sounded much more strained and desperate than she had intended. "Kathryn, please I—"
"No." Kathryn's voice was firm as she turned away from Seven. She could feel Seven's desire for her and it was breaking down her defenses and she couldn't have that, it was far too dangerous. That was what she kept telling herself. "No, we can't do this. I'm sorry, Seven. This is impossible."
"Impossible is a word far lesser beings than you utilize, Kathryn." Seven wanted to go to Kathryn, to reach out to her, to touch her but she knew her self-control was crumbling as it was. She wanted this woman so much it was almost causing her pain. Seven just didn't know how to diminish Kathryn's fear that she or others might be harmed in the process of their intimacy. She just knew she had to try because she felt like she would implode if Kathryn did not touch her again. "Please. I am not afraid."
"I am, Seven, so afraid. What if I hurt you, or Phoebes, or my mother?" Kathryn didn't even mention the planet, the galaxy and beyond. Her back straightened as she lifted her chin, her voice firm and intractable. "It's too dangerous. I won't risk it. I can't."
A sudden thought struck Seven as something so clear she nearly snorted at the obviousness of it. Seven moved quickly to Kathryn's side, placed her hands on the other woman's shoulders and turned her so that they were facing one another.
"You will not harm me or anyone else, Kathryn." Seven had a small smile to her full lips as she spoke quite earnestly and with great certainty. "You will not because you are Kathryn Janeway, and you are incapable of such."
"Well, that's sweetly sentimental, but not exactly—"
Seven's mouth moved against Kathryn's in an almost bruising fervor as she tried to prevent any more protests against what Seven thought was inevitable. She felt Kathryn's defenses begin to dwindle and crushed her closer to her body with strong arms around Kathryn when the woman in her arms moaned.
Kathryn could feel it, feel her arousal coursing through her and coming together at the connection between their lips. Her arousal began to display itself as a dark blue glow that moved through her body and beyond. Kathryn pushed Seven away once she realized her blue was encapsulating Seven as well.
"Stop!" Kathryn pushed the light back within herself as she turned from Seven and took several steps away from the woman she loved, and also ached for. "Seven, I can't."
"You can."
"You don't know what will happen if we—if I were to hurt you, I wouldn't be able to…" Kathryn's voice trembled as the thought of harming Seven overwhelmed her.
"Trust yourself, Kathryn, as I do." Seven moved quickly so she was standing very close to the shaky woman. Her breath was a warm breeze across the pale skin of Kathryn's shoulder. "Please, make love to me."
Seven knew she was perhaps being unfair, but at the moment it seemed irrelevant. Everything did in the face of what she could have with Kathryn. Seven had felt nothing but warmth, love and powerful desire when Kathryn's blue energy had washed over her. It was the most beautiful thing Seven had ever felt and she knew, almost instinctively, that there was nothing harmful within it.
"Seven, I—I want to, God how I want to." Kathryn could feel her denials and fear fighting against her desire and compliance with Seven's softly spoken request.
"Then do not resist it, Kathryn." Seven moved away from Kathryn, which made the other woman turn from the window so their gazes could meet. Seven hoped her own hesitation for intimacy she had never experienced, but wanted nonetheless, was not evident as she slowly peeled away the plum colored biosuit from her body.
Seven felt Kathryn's gaze upon her like a physical touch and the trepidation she had in exposing her body, the implants, to this woman fell away as she felt the warmth of Kathryn's desire for her suffuse her body.
"Seven…" Kathryn's voice was lost to her as she eagerly soaked up every square inch of Seven's exposed form with her hungry eyes.
Seven was so beautiful it brought hot tears to Kathryn's indigo eyes. Her milky white skin looked luminous from the sunlight streaming through the bedroom window, which also glinted brilliantly off the array of silver implants upon Seven's body. Kathryn felt her face flush as she looked, but tried not to stare, at Seven's full breasts that were topped with rose colored nipples made erect by Kathryn's searing look. Kathryn's eyes drifted across the silver bands of Seven's abdominal implant and moved quickly away from the juncture between her legs for fear of looking too long and appearing as prurient as she felt, though she knew the great blue light emanating from beneath her epidermis was already giving her away.
Kathryn's eyes refocused on Seven's expectant expression as she found her voice once again though it was rough, guttural with her want. "You… do not fight fairly."
"Indeed." Seven's heart raced as she could feel, see and almost taste Kathryn's desire for her, her arousal that helped to increase Seven's own to the point of causing an acute ache within her. "Kathryn, I want you, desire you, need you. Please, do not deny me this."
"Seven, I'm sorry." Kathryn turned her eyes away, unable to look at Seven during her confession. "I'm sorry I'm not strong enough."
Seven felt a deep disappointment settle within her body that was immediately replaced by the overwhelming heat of lust that was searing her with its strength as she was suddenly in Kathryn's arms, upon the bed, with her mouth plundered by the woman emanating blue light in the sunlit room.
"Kathryn!" Seven's naked body arched like a bow when Kathryn's lips, her teeth and her tongue played against her left ear and her breasts were covered by Kathryn's hands. Her eyes closed and she groaned when Kathryn's deft fingers pulled and manipulated her nipples so they were hard and erect. Seven felt wetness flood her sex at the exquisite pleasure of having Kathryn Janeway naked in her arms, making love to her with a passion Seven had never imagined possible. She craved more. "Please, I need…"
Seven didn't know what she needed exactly, aside from her need for Kathryn to continue touching her. And then she felt it. Her legs were gently spread apart before Kathryn touched the tips of two of her fingers to Seven's swollen and drenched sex. Seven forced her eyes to open and nearly wept at what she saw.
"I love you, Seven, more than I can ever possibly say." Kathryn smiled and tried to convey her immense love and affection for the woman beneath her who possessed her heart, her soul, completely and eternally.
Kathryn had come back for Seven and though she knew that was utterly selfish and unwise of her at the moment Kathryn didn't care. She cared about nothing but showing Seven how much she loved her with her touch when her words became too limited. She moved her hand from Seven's right breast so she could hold her as close to her own form as she could as she slowly, carefully and gently moved her fingers across the swollen, wet outer lips of Seven's sex.
Seven forced her eyes to remain open even as her vision grew blurry at the feel of Kathryn's fingers playing against her aroused flesh so provocatively; that was until Kathryn's fingers found her clit.
"KATH—" Seven's world exploded around her as her eyes were forced closed and her body shook from the onslaught of pleasure that was threatening to tear her apart. She was unaware of everything except for Kathryn. Seven could feel her very soul entwining with the woman making love to her and she wept at the beauty of it, the simplicity of such a joining and the perfection that was as flawed and human as it was divine and superlative.
Seven felt as if she was being taken apart only to be put together again and again with each and every one of her molecules infusing her with joy, love and unbridled pleasure. She wondered almost indifferently if she might die from it; her body unable to take the incalculable ecstasy she was experiencing in crashing waves upon her. Seven knew she was screaming, what was coming forth from her mouth she did not know nor did she care as another torrent of joy ripped through her and caused her to shake with the incredible force of it.
Kathryn couldn't stop. The vision of her beautiful, perfect Seven shaking, writhing, screaming and crying in pleasure unable to even be conceived of by most beings caused Kathryn's desire to tear through all of her fear, her hesitation as she continued to make love to Seven with everything she had. Seven's unceasing arousal so surrounded Kathryn with its scent, its heat and wetness that she could not stop the motion of her fingers against Seven's engorged clit even if she wanted to. She felt almost crazed in her need to bring Seven pleasure that would possibly be both of their undoing. Kathryn didn't care. She basked and relished in the feel of Seven's climaxes, the screams that were her name erupting from deep within this woman she cherished so much. Even when Kathryn felt her energy escaping her body in waves of warmth and radiance, she could not stop. She would not stop loving Seven, for this singular being was why she had rejected becoming a god. Kathryn's soul had been ripped from Seven's and now in its rejoining Kathryn could do nothing but allow it to overwhelm them both.
Seven knew her body could take no more even though her mind was willing. She felt her world fading beyond the blue light that had become her everything. She tried to stave off her body's frailty, but it was of no use. Her world turned to darkness and the last thing she heard was Kathryn's voice seeming from very far away screaming her name, in fear.
"Kathryn?" Gretchen Janeway's voice carried across the afternoon breeze as she moved closer to the large oak tree overlooking her small pond. She wrapped her gray shawl around her slim body as a chill swept over her. Her heart ached for her daughter and she knew Kathryn wished to be alone, but as her mother Gretchen felt she could defy that wish. "Are you there?"
Gretchen looked out upon the rippling waves of the clear blue pond and yearned for the wisdom to help Kathryn, to help the almost alien looking woman who had been returned to her. She still didn't understand exactly what had happened, but she found that she didn't care. Kathryn was alive. Kathryn had returned. Her daughter was home. Everything else seemed so… irrelevant.
"I wish to be alone." Kathryn's voice was broken and held nothing but pain as she lowered herself to the grassy earth by a tree branch that had become prehensile due to her manipulations. Once her feet were firmly upon the earth the tree became as still as the woman who had just possessed it.
"Kathryn, please, come back inside. Seven, she—she's worried about you."
Kathryn snorted indelicately as she placed her hands on her hips, her chin tipped up as she tried to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. She looked out across the pond, unable to look at her mother directly as she made her quiet, husky and pained confession. "I scared her."
"No." Gretchen moved closer to her trembling daughter before she touched one hand to her pale shoulder. Her voice was firm, but held compassion and love as she felt her daughter's hurt and fear as if it were her own. "No, my sweet girl. You scared yourself. Seven is just fine. You could never harm her."
"It took Seven two days of regenerating to recover from what I did to her." Kathryn tried to feel the comfort and reassurance her mother was trying to extend to her, but instead she felt only coldness and guilt. "I knew it was too dangerous, but I—I wasn't strong enough to resist."
"You love her, it makes sense that you would want to express that love." Gretchen smiled gently, but even she couldn't deny that she had been a bit scared when she had felt the earth shake from the power of Kathryn's energy that had caused the guest house to tremble and blue light to flash brilliantly from the upstairs windows. She had been quite taken aback when she had finally been told what had caused it, but that shock had been replaced with worry when Kathryn had remained despondent even after Seven's full recovery.
"I could have killed her." Kathryn moved away from Gretchen's touch, her comfort and her love. "How could I do that? How could I do that to Seven? How do you know I'm not a—a monster?"
"Because you're worried that you are one." Gretchen placed both of her hands upon Kathryn's shoulder before she turned her daughter to face her, to face reality. "Listen to me. Seven was just a bit overwhelmed. I knew from just looking at her that she was wasting away without you. Not eating, not sleeping and probably not regenerating like she should. But now she's back to 'optimal efficiency' as she says and isn't quite so… frail. Don't blame yourself, it happens. You know, the first time with your father I passed out—"
"Mother!" Kathryn's indigo eyes were wide, her expression aghast and just as appalled as her voice.
"What?" Gretchen grinned widely as she took in her daughter's blush and astonished look. Her voice was teasing as she brushed a comforting hand down Kathryn's smooth, pale cheek. "You didn't think you and your sister were immaculate conceptions did you?"
"I. Have never. Thought about it." Kathryn grunted indignantly. "Ugh, but that's all I can think about right now."
"I'll try not to take offense to that." Gretchen's chest felt warmth suffusing it; this was her Kathryn all right. "What I was trying to say is that it happens. Seven will be more prepared next time when you two—"
"There won't be a next time."
"Ha!" Gretchen pressed a hand to Kathryn's upper chest as she apologized, though there was no remorse in her voice. "I'm sorry, but I've seen the way Seven has been looking at you the past few hours since she came out of her regeneration cycle. And something tells me she's a hard woman to refuse. Don't give me that glare of yours. It doesn't work on your mother. What's really wrong? I know this… pouting of yours isn't just about making your lover pass out. Please, your mother can say 'lover' without you looking so put out. Now, tell me, what is it?"
"Do you want to see my true form?" Kathryn pulled away from her mother's touch as shame began to overwhelm her and make her voice rough and anguished. "Do you?"
Bemused and worried, but trying hard not to show it, Gretchen nodded once before she spoke. "Show me."
Gretchen's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat as she watched Kathryn's crimson hair turn even darker as if it had been drenched under water; it floated in the air as if it was. Her daughter's indigo irises expanded until there were no pupils and no whites in her eyes. Kathryn's pearly, luminous skin was lit blue from within which gave it an unnatural brilliance that was only hidden by the thin, shiny black lines of metal that had suddenly appeared across Kathryn's body to form a sort of bracket around her form, which was covered by a swirling mass of silver streaks that draped like liquid cloth over her nakedness.
Kathryn's blue lips parted and the voice that was emitted rumbled across the sky like thunder. "And you say I'm not a monster."
Gretchen felt tears fall onto her cheeks, but ignored them as she moved as if in a trance to her daughter. She would be lying if she said she wasn't awestruck by the alien appearance, but she still saw enough of her daughter, enough of her Kathryn, not to be frightened. Her hand trembled as it lifted to cup her daughter's warm, blue cheek that was covered in a small network of black wiring. Gretchen smiled as she spoke softly and with conviction to this tragic, magnificent being before her.
"You're not a monster. You're beautiful. Is this what you are afraid of, Kathryn? That we would—that Seven would find you… monstrous, hideous?" Gretchen chest constricted because within her daughter's eyes she could see that was exactly what Kathryn had feared. "You could never be anything but beautiful. You have Kathryn's soul, her heart and I've never met its equal. You feel so much, Kathryn, you always have. I know your heart has been broken many times, but don't let this… fear prevent you from being with Seven. She loves you. She will accept you, fully."
Kathryn wanted to believe her mother's loving words and to allow her warm touch to fill her with reassurance, but it was difficult when her shame and her guilt caused her pain. "I should never have come back. It was selfish of me to return with Seven."
"Yes, perhaps it was. But it was also human. Kathryn, let Seven show you how to reclaim your humanity. Allow her to be your guide for once." Gretchen held Kathryn's face in her gentle hands as she smiled indulgently at her daughter that was so joyously the same. "Don't feel like you need to control everything. That's what being a mere mortal is all about."
Kathryn released a sob as she fell into her mother's arms unmindful of her appearance, of her implants, of everything but being in Gretchen's arms as she cried. "I missed you. So much."
"But I'm not the reason you came back, Kathryn." Gretchen pulled Kathryn so she could look upon her daughter's features, that had changed so much, but was still Kathryn. "Go, be with Seven. For as long as you can."
Kathryn nodded as she moved away from her mother before she snapped her fingers and vanished in a flash of blue light though her two words floated to Gretchen upon the breeze.
"Thank you."
"Seven of Nine."
"Phoebe Janeway." Seven smiled softly, but did not turn her gaze from her observation of Gretchen Janeway approaching the large oak tree that overlooked the Janeway Farm's small pond. She knew Kathryn was there before she even saw her descend from the tree.
Phoebe wondered if Seven wanted to be alone, but figured with her mother looking for Kathryn and her sister's recent absence perhaps what Seven needed was company, someone to talk to and that left only her. "How are you?"
"My condition has remained unchanged since the last time you asked me that question." Seven turned away from the window to smile more broadly to show there was no annoyance in her words. She appreciated Phoebe's caring words, but knew only Kathryn could alleviate her concern.
"Fine, fine, so I'm repetitive." Phoebe leaned against the kitchen island as she warmed her hands on her mug filled with herbal tea as she watched Seven turn back to the window. She smirked with mischief as she asked her question, more to break the tension than anything else. "So, what are you doing, thinking about round two?"
"Yes."
Phoebe was taken aback by Seven's quick assessment of what her question meant and how swiftly and honestly she answered it. It showed in how her words stumbled out of her mouth. "Oh. I—I see. Don't you think it's sort of… dangerous? Maybe dangerous isn't the right word, but you did just come out of a forty-seven hour regeneration cycle after the first bout and maybe you should wait a bit before you attempt it again. Not to suggest I'm telling you what to do, it's just… you know, when the ground starts shaking and blue light blasts out of windows I get sort of concerned. I mean, what will the neighbors think? If we had neighbors that is."
The crescent shaped implant above Seven's left eye lifted as a smirk played on her full lips when she turned her head to look incredulously at Phoebe. "Does your rambling serve a purpose?"
"Perhaps… no, perhaps not." Phoebe set her mug on the island before she crossed her arms over her chest and looked quite seriously at Seven. "Doesn't it scare you at all?"
"What am I supposed to be fearful of?" Seven sighed softly as she shifted focus entirely on Phoebe rather than Gretchen and Kathryn's interaction she had been observing through the kitchen window.
"I—I guess… Kathryn." Phoebe's brow creased because of the uncertainty she was feeling as it mixed with her uneasiness speaking of her sister in this way. But she felt compelled to be honest with Seven and perhaps it was she who needed someone to talk to. "Aren't you… frightened of her at all, Seven?"
Seven's light blue eyes filled with warmth as she answered with no hesitation. "No."
"Not even a little bit?" Phoebe's gaze narrowed as she looked suspiciously at Seven. She couldn't believe Kathryn's odd appearance, her power, her abilities would not frighten even the sturdiest of individuals.
"Kathryn does not frighten me." Seven lifted her chin and her light blue eyes were critical though her voice was even. "But you are frightened by her?"
"Of course I am." Phoebe's voice was hard, filled with the anger she felt heating her chest. "I'm sorry I can't be as… calm as you about this whole thing. She scares the hell out of me, all right? What the hell is she, Seven? What did she come back as? Because I sure as hell don't know. Do you?"
"She is Kathryn Janeway, your sister. That has not changed. As for her physical parameters, she is everything she once was: human, Borg and Q." Seven forced her voice to remain calm though a small muscle twitched in her jaw as she remembered Kathryn's fear when they had first arrived on the farm. "She feared your rejection. But not because of what she had been changed into, but because of the pain and grief she knew she caused within you and Gretchen Janeway. She did not expect you to forgive her for that. Do you, Phoebe? Do you forgive her?"
"She doesn't need my forgiveness." Phoebe rolled her eyes, her tone sardonic as she thought of the powerful creature her sister had become.
"Yes, she does." Seven's voice was firm and unyielding as she forced Phoebe to understand what Kathryn had experienced. What Kathryn was experiencing. "She is fractured, with opposing identities. She is powerful but that is not what gives her strength. What part of her that contains her humanity, her soul, is how she returned to us."
"Don't kid yourself, Seven. She didn't come back to be with me, or mom, or anyone else. She came back for you." An old wound caused by jealousy increased Phoebe's anger. "It's always been about you."
Seven couldn't deny it. On some level she knew Kathryn might have never returned if it hadn't been for Seven's acknowledgement of what they had shared when they had been locked together in the Hive Mind, the love they had finally admitted to one another. But Seven found she could also not feel anything negative regarding Kathryn's return with her to Earth.
"She is here, Phoebe Janeway. The reason for her return is irrelevant."
"Yeah right, easy for you to say." Phoebe placed her hands on her slim hips, sighing before she spoke the truth of the situation as she saw it. "The thing is, Seven, she's been gone for a long time. Kathryn never returned from the Delta Quadrant, not really."
Seven's occipital implant rose at this. "I do not understand."
"Seven years in that godforsaken quadrant changed her, a lot. I didn't recognize my own sister when she came back. She—she scared me. She was so cold, so distant and I didn't know how to even have a conversation with her anymore." Phoebe began to pace, anything to keep her eyes off of Seven's impassive features. Her hands gesticulated as her husky voice filled the kitchen with hurt and bitterness. "Do you know what it's like when you're replaced? She cared more about her damned crew than her own family. And I came to resent all of you for it, but especially you, Seven. You were the only one who could make Kathryn have any sort of warmth."
"You are mistaken." Seven would have been amused by Phoebe's pacing and her gesticulations so reminiscent, though a bit more chaotic, of Kathryn's, but she was not in the mood to be amused. She softened her voice but the certainty in her words stopped Phoebe's movements completely. "She did not distance herself from just you and your mother, but also the former Voyager crew. But I did not realize how vast that distance had become until the Borg Queen told me that Kathryn had been lonely, felt very much alone and how much it pained her to feel such a way."
"What the hell?" Phoebe wanted to stomp around the room indignantly, perhaps throw a tantrum. She wondered why the hell her sister was the most infuriating person to ever exist. Her exasperation was very clear in her tone. "It was Kathryn who put that distance between us. I don't get it. Why would she do that if she was so goddamned lonely?"
"Because I was scared." Kathryn's honest answer was preceded by a flash of blue announcing her entry into the kitchen.
"God, Katie, don't do that!" Phoebe held one hand to her chest in a futile attempt to slow the rapid beating of her heart. Her blue eyes went wide and her voice tremulous as she looked upon Kathryn. "Oh my God, what—what happened to you?"
"So many things." Kathryn smiled sadly as she lifted her hands lined with black wiring in offering. "This, this is what I truly look like now. An amalgamation, the sum of my parts. I was… afraid to show it to you. But Phoebe, I don't want to hide anymore, especially not from you. From either of you."
"Kathryn?"
Seven didn't want to be shocked, but she couldn't help it. Kathryn's unconscious Borg-riddled form she had seen in the Sickbay onboard the Enterprise-E was nothing compared to her now. Each line of Borg wiring followed the path of Kathryn veins and were just as thin as they emerged through her iridescent blue skin.
"I know my appearance is… shocking and will take some time to accept." Kathryn's voice was soft, and even, but Seven thought she saw a glimmer of fear within the dark depths of her indigo eyes. "I fully understand that."
"They don't hurt you, do they?" Phoebe's hand tentatively and seemingly of its own accord reached out towards the wiring covering Kathryn's body that glistened like onyx in the sunlit kitchen.
"No, they don't hurt me."
"Good. That's good." Phoebe pulled her hand back unsure of why she had even wanted to touch the harsh looking metal. Her awe was quickly replaced with shame for her own hesitation but also irritation with her sister that she wouldn't even try to prepare her for such a shock. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? This is going to take some getting used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're back but this… this is going to take some time."
"I know." Kathryn didn't dare look at Seven for fear of seeing similar agitation and disgust.
"You were afraid to show me your true form?" It wasn't so much a question, but an accusation as Seven's voice sharpened into a harshness uncommon for her. "Your Borg components. You feared that I would find them repulsive. That I would find you repulsive."
"Yes. I feared that, Seven."
"When I knew I had fallen in love with you, when I became aware that I wanted to be… intimate with you I feared the same thing. But I trusted you. I believed that your love for me would preclude everything else, including my implants." Seven had to look away from Kathryn as her voice broke with anger and indignation. "I know now that I was wrong."
"No, Seven, you weren't wrong." Kathryn reached out to Seven, but hesitated and quickly retracted her hand. Her indigo eyes were pleading as she hoped Seven would understand. "Please, believe me, I find everything that you are beautiful. But me, I—it's not just the remnants of the Borg Queen that made me fear rejection, it was the fact that very little of me is human. Sometimes I forget what it was like to even be human."
Seven felt herself calm at hearing Kathryn's reassuring and earnest words. Her voice softened but was still quite resolute. "Then do not attempt to be human, be Kathryn."
"I'm afraid I don't know who that is anymore, Seven. When I was on Voyager, I was the captain, so much so that I didn't even realize when I was no longer anything but that title. I don't regret that. It's what got us home. But then when I returned to Earth I was afraid I didn't know how to just be Kathryn anymore, so I didn't even try. I distanced myself from all of you so you wouldn't see that all I was, was the Admiral. And then the Borg Queen, what she did, what I helped her do…" Kathryn's words left her as she once again felt all the pain and suffering, death and destruction that the Borg Queen had committed crash down upon her. She pushed away her guilt and shame as she continued speaking, though her voice was much softer and quaked ever so slightly. "And then there was Q. I am all of these things and yet none of them. I know what I am now. I'm just not sure if I know who I am."
Phoebe tried not to snort indignantly, but couldn't find the effort to care when she failed. "Katie, no offense, but I think the Delta Quadrant made you a little crazy."
"Yes." Kathryn's words came out slowly as she considered her sister's words. "Perhaps it did."
"What I mean is…" Phoebe rolled her eyes before she continued. "Stop trying, just be. Look I'm sorry if I asked too much of you when you came back, expected you to be the same. The truth is I just wanted you back, my sister who rolls her eyes and gets all prudish when I talk about sex. Who tells me I'm immature even when she's the one throwing a tantrum. I wanted nothing more than for you to be happy that you were home. But you never seemed happy, ever. Except… with Seven. When you thought no one was paying attention. At those stupid parties of theirs when Starfleet handed out medals like party favors, you would look at her and smile and I would think you might have thawed out a bit but then you'd shake yourself and you were hard and cold once again. Is it too much to ask that you just relax for once? Stop being such a controlling know-it-all and just live."
"Phoebe—"
"No, listen, Katie, I thought I had lost my sister… lost you so many times." Phoebe's hands trembled, but she pushed past her trepidation in order to gently place them upon Kathryn's pale shoulders lined with black wiring that was surprisingly smooth and warm beneath her palms. Her blue eyes took in Kathryn's features and though they were so alien, she smiled when she saw her sister beneath the otherworldly exterior. "But I see now that you are her. You might look different and no offense, pretty wild, but I can see her clearly. You always tried to fit into little molds: the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect Starfleet officer, the perfect everything. Let's face it, you were trying to make everyone else happy and proud of you. You never really considered what would make you happy. So after dying and coming back as, well, some sort of supernatural being, stop trying to fit yourself into a mold that you've obviously outgrown, let yourself just be for once. Be selfish, be happy. Please, for me… I—I don't want you to leave again."
"Phoebes, there's no other place in the Universe I would rather be than here." Kathryn smiled as she felt tears drift across her alabaster cheeks as she hugged her sister to her, unmindful of her implants and how they might disturb Phoebe. She needed this. She needed Phoebe's forgiveness, her love. She needed her little sister to tell her how foolish she was being. "I'm home."
"Then stop being stupid and take Seven back to the guest house for round two."
"Phoebe!" First her mother now her sister, Kathryn didn't know when her family had become so prurient.
"Oh my God!" Phoebe's eyes widened and mirth filled her voice and lit her features as she took in the dark blue energy suffusing Kathryn's cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "Katie, you're blushing."
"Oh shut up, Phoebe." Kathryn extracted herself from their embrace quickly while covering her blush with one hand as she scowled at the now laughing little sister of hers. "You're so…so…"
Kathryn found her annoyance and embarrassment too much to put into words and she didn't need to for an amused Seven of Nine, who had remained dutifully silent while the two sisters reconnected, did so for her. "Immature?"
This one word made Phoebe's laughter escalate until she had tears streaming down her cheeks and had to clutch her stomach as her guffaws filled the kitchen. Seven's innocent smile only made Phoebe laugh harder.
"I. Am not. Throwing a…" Kathryn grew even more irritated when she saw that her glare had no effect on either her sister's laughter or Seven's smile. "A 'tantrum!"
"Indeed?" Seven's smirk played upon her lush, full lips as any residual despondency faded away and her light blue eyes filled with love, adoration and incredulity. "You are almost stomping your foot in agitation."
"I most certainly am not." Kathryn looked indignantly at Seven as the other woman approached her with her pale blue eyes lit with warmth and affection that ceased any continuing protests immediately. And then she was in Seven's arms and knew what was to come next. Kathryn ignored Phoebe's encouraging words to Seven as she closed her eyes, relaxed in Seven's arms and felt her lips being claimed and her worries and fears silenced.
"Hey, try not to tear the guest house down!" Phoebe wondered if her words had even been heard since Seven and Kathryn had just vanished from the kitchen in a flash of blue light with their lips and bodies still locked in a tight embrace.
"Phoebe?"
"Mom! You scared me half to death. Why do people find the need to keep sneaking up on me?" Phoebe ignored her mother's lack of an apology as she was directed to follow Gretchen to the benches of their breakfast nook. She felt ten years older as she fell against the cushions and sighed with long suffering relief. "She might look strange as hell, but she's still Katie."
"Yes, she is. I'm glad you two worked things out."
"As much as she and I can work anything out I suppose. It'll take some time, but I… I'm glad she's back. Don't worry, we'll work things through eventually." Phoebe shrugged before her lips turned up into an amused smirk. "Now she's working things out with Seven."
Gretchen didn't see her daughter wink, but it was close. She shared Phoebe's knowledge of Kathryn's rather conservative view on sex and so she too smiled at the knowledge that Kathryn was actually allowing herself and Seven to once again express their love for one another, especially after what had happened the first time. She saw Phoebe's smile falter as did hers when the house around them began to tremble and flashes of blue light mixed with the sunlight.
The house continued to quake as Phoebe Janeway was, perhaps for the first time in her life, rendered utterly speechless. Gretchen, for her part, had wide eyes and expelled two words under her breath. "Oh my."
"Hey, try not to tear the guest house down!"
Kathryn ignored Phoebe's words as she transported Seven and herself to the guest house. She pulled away from Seven, but remained so close her breath drifted upon Seven's swollen, moist lips. Kathryn's voice was thick with desire and she felt Seven's own arousal as if it was a physical touch upon her. "You're so beautiful, Seven. Your body, your mind… I've touched your very soul, all of it, so very beautiful. But can you—can you love this form of mine? This isn't what I want to look like for you—I just know it's wrong for me to hide what I am."
"What you are is perfection to me, Kathryn." Seven's parted lips moved ever so slightly closer to Kathryn's so they were almost brushing. She felt arousal fill her body with heat as she denied the contact she and Kathryn so desired. She had to first tell Kathryn how she felt, even if words seemed insufficient. "I have never loved anyone or anything as I love you. You are the one who is beautiful."
"Even with these remnants of the Borg Queen—of her, even though I'm so inhuman, so very flawed—"
"Flawed perfection, only you could make that possible, Kathryn." Seven closed the miniscule distance and kissed Kathryn with all the love and desire she could. She had needed reassurance once regarding her remaining implants and she had received it two days previous when Kathryn had made love to her. Now it was Seven's turn to reassure Kathryn. To inform the woman that she wanted her, desired her and would have her.
Seven continued her sweet assault upon Kathryn's welcoming mouth as she brushed her hands across Kathryn's body. She smiled when Kathryn groaned when Seven held their bodies close with one hand on the small of Kathryn's back and the other brushed across the curves of hips. Kathryn's groan was one of frustration when Seven's mouth suddenly left hers.
"How do I remove this garment?" Seven's fingers threaded through the liquid silver that covered Kathryn's nakedness. She was becoming frustrated that it seemed alive and denying her access to the body she craved to see, to touch and taste.
"Are you certain, Seven? Because once I remove it there's no going back."
"Remove the garment, Kathryn." Seven's voice was low, guttural and commanding. "Now."
"Yes, ma'am." Kathryn smirked. She couldn't conceal all of her hesitation, but she wanted Seven and she had to have her. Damn the consequences.
Seven watched with wide eyed appreciation as the silver, fluid-like dress began to dissolve around Kathryn's slim, blue tinted and black wired body until it vanished completely. It was not Kathryn's naked form that caused the breath to leave Seven, but the beauty of her soul that was visualized as a glowing orb embedded within her sternum that made Seven stand frozen in place from the awesomeness of such a sight.
"It's for you, Seven. It's yours." Kathryn felt her soul long for Seven's as it glowed brilliantly from her chest. She opened her arms in offering and rejoiced when Seven didn't hesitate to embrace her. And then Kathryn felt it, she felt her soul and Seven's entwining along with their bodies as they fell onto the bed, their lips moving fervently while their hands touched warm skin and metal.
Seven forced her eyes to remain open as she felt waves of powerful energy wash over her, through her, inside of her body and surrounding her. It shook the guest house and through her peripheral vision Seven knew the blue light caused by their love making was flashing brilliantly across the Janeway Farm. She cared nothing about the radiance other than the fact that it was a manifestation of Kathryn's love for her, her pleasure, and Seven hadn't even touched her intimately, yet.
"I—I'm ready." Kathryn lifted her head so she could once again have Seven's mouth upon hers as she felt metal capped fingers gently brushing against her overheated and drenched sex. "Please, Seven."
"I love you, Kathryn." Seven crushed her mouth against Kathryn's before she pushed two fingers deep within the moist recesses of Kathryn's center. With each stroke and gentle thrust of her fingers Seven caused more blue energy to emit from Kathryn's chest, which bathed Seven in even more immense waves filled with warmth and desire.
Seven's lips slid hotly against Kathryn's pale, luminous flesh as her fingers continued providing Kathryn exquisite pleasure. Her tongue outlined any thin, black metal wiring on her way to Kathryn's fragrant and inviting wet and swollen sex.
"Seven!" Kathryn's large indigo eyes were forced closed when she felt Seven's lips close over her clit. Seven teased the little bundle of nerves with her tongue while the thrusting of her fingers became more forceful and faster as she tried to provide Kathryn blissful release.
Seven, encapsulated in Kathryn's pulsing blue energy, felt her own arousal increase upon hearing Kathryn's scream and her subsequent moans and pleas for Seven to continue her ministration. To continue loving her. Seven knew she would, always and forever.
Kathryn's shuddering climax caused the very foundation of the guest house to quiver and quake from the power of it. She didn't care, she couldn't care. Her thoughts left her completely for she was so overwhelmed with the wonderful and great intensity of Seven making love to her, making her come with a scream and flashes of brilliance that glowed ice blue.
Seven's soothing hand still wet with her essence upon her stomach brought Kathryn back to reality as she steadied herself and opened her eyes. She gasped at the sight that greeted her. "Seven? What—what's happening to you?"
Seven's smile quickly faded upon seeing Kathryn's bemused expression along with the concern held in her deep, husky voice. Seven's own voice was tremulous and soft. "Kathryn?"
"You're glowing." Kathryn watched with awe as flourishes of silver light emanated from Seven that mixed and mingled with her own blue light that had enveloped Seven during their love making.
"I believe our intimacy has resulted in an unexpected consequence." Seven's brow creased as she looked at her metal encased hand until the Borg technology faded away and her hand looked just like her other one, human. "You have transmitted some of your power to me."
Kathryn knew she was right by the way the rest of Seven's implants disappeared until there were no visible reminders of her time as a drone. Seven appeared fully human, which disturbed Kathryn greatly.
"Seven…"
"My appearance disturbs you."
Seven could feel Kathryn's unease as if it were her own and knew the reason for it. Slowly her implants reappeared while she touched her fingers to Kathryn's chest, tentatively across the blue orb that swirled as Seven's silver light mixed with it, which turned Kathryn's residual discomfort to pure pleasure.
"I just… don't want you to hide." Kathryn held Seven's hand upon her glowing sternum. "Not from me. Never from me."
"I did not mean to." Seven hadn't, not really, it had been almost a reflex on her part.
"I know."
"Kathryn, will this…" Seven held her hand encased in a silver glow up for inspection. "Is this permanent?"
"I—I think so." Kathryn hands now covered both of Seven's and held them tightly to her chest. Her expression was apologetic, but she was prevented from voicing any regret.
Seven's lips moved eagerly against Kathryn's as she felt her desire rekindled and relief wash over her. Seven wasn't sure of what this transfer of power meant, she only knew that she felt connected to Kathryn even more than when they had been within the Hive Mind. Seven never wanted to be without Kathryn again and she was strangely, but comfortingly certain she never would be. As their bodies reached their peaks together they shimmered and trembled before they turned to pure energy that entwined and merged together.
They became stardust, entwined for eternity. And though they knew they would revert back to their corporeal forms, to live their lives, to imitate being human, they were fully aware that nothing could separate them. They were together forever, even after life.
THE END
