It was nearly three in the morning when Jadzia's communicator went off while she was in the middle of finishing a complex project she'd stayed late on her shift to complete.
"Dax here," Jadzia muttered after tapping the receiver to find out who was summoning her.
"Good morning, this is Doctor Ore. I don't mean to disturb you. But could you assist me with something in my quarters?" There was a mild crash in the background and a irregular kind of giggle from someone other than Dr. Ore.
"What in hell? Yeah, I'll be right there. I suspect this isn't something you felt needed security?" Jadzia asked.
"No, but I think it might warrant the assistance of a good friend. Doctor Ore, out." At that, the communicator went silent and Jadzia decided she better head as quickly as possible to the habitation ring.
"My god. Julian! What have you two been doing in here?" By the time Dax arrived at Gaven 's quarters a very drunk Julian could be found half out of uniform and about 3/Fourth of the way through one of Worf's Klingon operas.
"I'm sorry, Dax. I guess he was right about that Acrelian mead having an interesting effect on its drinkers. I suppose I could have sedated him, but I wasn't sure where Dr. Bashir's quarters were, and I'd rather not have him sleep here." A very sober seeming Doctor Ore said apologetically.
"Real Acrelian Mead? Julian! You know that stuff is contraband. What were you thinking and how much of it did you have?" Jadzia scolded Incredulously.
"He had three or four glasses. We both did. I didn't realize we were breaking any rules." Gaven said.
"Starfleet officers aren't technically allowed to consume non-synthesized alcohol," Jadzia explained. "Particularly not ones laced with hallucinogens, JULIAN. Did he know that before you guys started abiding?"
Gaven shrugged indicating he wasn't sure.
"If you had just as much as he did why aren't you acting like an insane person?" Jadzia quipped while she tried to pick her friend up off the floor.
"I guess I metabolized it more efficiently. I'll examine a sample later if you want a more scientific explanation." Gaven replied as he swooped in to help by getting on Julian's other side so that they could both hoist him into a standing position.
"If Odo catches him like this there's going to be hell to pay. Look, I know it's a huge imposition but conscious or unconscious I don't know how we're going to get him back to his quarters. Would you remotely consider letting him stay here and sleep it off once he finally crashes? My quarters are just as far away as Julian's are, and Worf wouldn't approve of me bringing him home." Jadzia pleaded not enjoying the prospect of dragging an intoxicated loud or limp Julian through the corridors for any reason.
Gaven looked displeased by the prospect but found he had little room to refuse. "Fine."
"Thank you so much, Gaven. I'm sorry to invade your priva…" Just as they were getting Julian to his feet, a sudden hallucination kicked in causing the doctor to struggle out of their arms.
"You're a coward, Dr. Renaldo! Agent X and I have no intention of letting you steal the Maltese Cummerbund." Julian announced swinging around to face them.
"Do you know what he's talking about?" Gaven muttered sidelong.
"Not a clue. But this could get ugly. Julian has a personal interest in human spy stories. I think he's having a delusion. We should probably sedate him. You wouldn't happen to have a hypo needle on you?" Jadzia asked only half serious.
"No. My med bag is back in my office in the infirmary." Gaven said as he kept his eyes trained on Julian who just happened to be hovering in a stupid manner somewhat close to Gaven's display area.
"Come on, Julian. Calm down. No one is stealing your Maltese whatcha-ma-call-it. Why don't you slowly come this way and lie down." Jadzia tried to coax.
"A likely diversion. You've probably already taken it. Where is it hiding? What do you take me for?" Julian protested loudly.
"Right now? An idiot. Now get over here before you break something." Jadzia demanded.
Gaven suddenly got an idea. "I think Dr. Renaldo is up to her old tricks again, Julian. Luckily, I, Agent X, have planned for such treachery. Look there. I've planted a tracking beacon behind you there. If its blue that means the Maltese…Cum…The cummerbund is somewhere here in the room. I've got Dr. Renaldo covered. I need you to turn around and tell me if the tracking device there on the display has turned blue."
"My pleasure. And good work Agent X. Hold her now." Just as Julian stumbled to turn around and reach for the metal box sitting on the display counter, Dr. Ore rushed him from behind catching him where his neck and shoulders met with a finger grip that caused Julian to lose consciousness immediately.
Dr. Ore managed to catch Julian as he collapsed, dragging him by the chest with some effort to the nearby sofa.
"The Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Impressive." Jadzia said.
"Yes. Well, I am not without certain skills. Though I perhaps did it a little harder than is customary. Our Doctor Bashir is going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up." Gaven observed.
"Deservedly so. Are you sure it isn't too much of an imposition to keep Julian here tonight?" Jadzia asked.
"I admit it's not my preference but given what you've told me I don't see that there's much choice. I'll take care of Dr. Bashir. I promise." Gaven reassured her.
"I have no doubt. Well, if you think you can handle Julian from here, I guess I'll be going." Jadzia said with a sigh. "We'll be having words later."
"Don't be too hard on him, Dax. I think he was trying to help me." Gaven said lightly.
"I see. I guess Julian finally took my advice. Too bad he made such an ass of himself." She muttered glaring down at her friend.
"I respect his efforts," Gaven admitted.
At this Dax finally turned her attention away from Julian and centered it wholly on Gaven. "How are you doing, really?"
Gaven shrugged slightly. "The best that can be expected. I like it here on Deep Space Nine. I know I come off…Shy. And I'll be the first to admit things aren't easy for me, but for the first time since being expelled from Oum, I feel like I could belong somewhere again and become important to some people if enough time passes. I hope Jadzia greatly that someday I may find myself whole again and I suspect this is as good a place as any to resurrect myself from the dead."
As was her way to act on instinct, Jadzia stepped closer to him and pulled Gaven into a strong embrace. "I can't imagine your pain Dr. Gaven Ore-Oum. But many of us are very fond of you here and would like to see a happier side of you. Try not to disappoint us."
"I'll do my best." Though he was surprised Gaven did not resist her compassionate gesture and even embraced her back. "Now get going before Worf decides to come searching for you. The last thing I want is to be the cause of offending a sleep-deprived Klingon trying to locate his mate."
Jadzia laughed and pulled away. "Thanks again for that gift basket. I can promise you it went to good use."
"As was evidenced when you and Worf came in a few days later individually for medical treatment. Goodnight, and wish him well for me." Gaven walked Dax to the door and saw her out.
Once gone Gaven sighed profoundly and glanced around to the scene that was waiting for him. The table was a mess, the room somewhat disheveled, and now he had the added problem of a half-naked Doctor laying unconscious on his sofa. Picking up his datapad, Gaven briefly took the opportunity to look up what exactly they'd been eating and drinking to determine if there were any specific medical things to be concerned over. The last thing he wanted was for Julian to end up in a coma if the nerve pinch, he'd used to subdue him, poorly reacted to the hallucinogens coursing through the doctor's system. Seeing no worrisome interactions of note, Gaven put down the datapad and sat back down in his chair as he pondered what to do next.
It was true that it wasn't his preference to have the Doctor in his quarters for the night. Mostly because Gaven's repose was always the worst time for him emotionally, it wouldn't do to have the other doctor come to in the middle of the morning only to find Gaven thrashing and sobbing in his sleep. Though he supposed if he were found out he could always blame it on the Acrelian mead they'd drank. Gaven reflected on the things Julian had asked him. His circumstances of life had been complicated by the end while on Oum. Gaven had lost more than he would ever admit when his beloved counterpart had been killed. The least of which was the dream of the child they had planned to produce together. Now the memory of what they had been planning to do held extra significance to him.
There were times, often in the early morning when he could not abide the strength of his grief, that Gaven would instead allow his imagination to play out a particular fantasy to cull his suffering. In it, he imagined that before his counterpart had died, they'd completed the in-vitro fertilization process and that when Gaven was expelled from Oum, he secretly would have been carrying their child. A profoundly forbidden memento of a life that was no longer his to own as well as a piece of his counterpart whom it had never been his place to love. It was a comforting though bitter fantasy and one that made the muscles in his abdomen twist painfully in longing over the genetically grafted womb he'd worked so hard to gain and fill.
Fingering the edge of one of the cartilage-like linings of his abdominal openings through the fabric, Gaven shut his eyes a moment but then reminded himself of where he was and what was happening around him. He pulled his hand away and stood suddenly annoyed with himself. Out of the edge of his gaze, Gaven caught Julian stir slightly in his sleep due to the uncomfortable position Gaven and Jadzia had dropped him in. Gaven sighed again realizing that if it came down to him or Bashir, he would much rather have been the one miserable. Walking over to the sofa, Gaven assessed the situation and came to a decision.
"Come on, Doctor. Might as well put you in my bed where I can at least keep a better eye on you." Gaven who was much broader built than Julian grabbed the more petite man by the arm and hoisted him up over his shoulder carefully adjusting as not to topple them both as he carried Julian into the other room and laid him down on the bed. "You owe me for this one. I hope you realize that."
Upon tucking Julian in, Gaven went back out into the main room so that he could go about setting everything to right and getting rid of the evidence of their immorality. It didn't take long to put the space back in order. Having nothing further to do, Gaven briefly considered bunking down on the sofa which admittedly was not an uncommon place to sleep before the gurgling sounds coming from his bedroom suggested that it might be better if he sat up and saw Julian through the night. This was a prudent course if only to prevent the chance of Julian drowning in his vomit if he sickened while unconscious. The job of a doctor was never done.
Entering tentatively into the bedroom once more, Gaven stared at the sleeping Julian wishing to high heaven the man was less attractive in his repose than he was when he was awake. Yes, Julian owed him big time for this. Pulling up a chair next to the bed Gaven borrowed the extra blanket from the bed's foot and settled into his nursemaid's repose. If Julian thought that Gaven was going to stare at him all night in worry, the young doctor had another thing coming. Gaven planned full well to sleep tonight even if it was upright. "Good night Dr. Bashir. I'm very…Happy to have enjoyed your company."
Several hours later, the com in the room began to blink indicating a quarter-to-quarter call. Julian had conditioned himself to instantly wake up to such subtle beeping noises lest it was someone in medical need. He immediately jolted upright in a bed that didn't feel like his own and instantly regretted the swiftness of his actions as one of the most painful hangovers he'd ever experienced made itself known in his neck, shoulders and behind his eyes. The com beeped again as Julian muttered an almost intelligible, "Hello. Who's calling?"
"Well look who decided to wake up. I'll have you know Julian that when I told you to reach out to Doctor Ore, I didn't mean having him babysit you through a drunken stupor. If you were going to drink Acrelian mead, you could have at least had the decency to invite me along with you. Now get up and keep in mind that it's very possible that Doctor Ore had no choice but to stay up all night to make sure you didn't jump out an airlock or choke on your bile sometime after you passed out. You and I will be talking more about this later. Dax out."
The com clicked off ending the call just in time for Julian to start piecing together the events leading up to the point where he'd passed out. His memory was mostly clear up until about his third glass of Acrelian mead. At which point he just had a few flashes of what had transpired. Despite being painfully hung over he also managed to ascertain that he was likely still in Gaven's quarters and that it was probably extremely late in the morning and well past the time both men were due to show up for their shifts. Gingerly getting up out of bed Julian edged his way towards the living room and peeked into the living space. Everything was as immaculate as when he had first arrived, and the only evidence that Julian had been there at all was the meticulously cleaned and bundled stack of dishes he'd brought with him that had contained their dinner.
At first, Gaven was nowhere to be found and Bashir almost wondered if the man hadn't left earlier. But when Julian plodded back into the bedroom to gather his neatly folded and pressed clothes, Julian noted that Gaven was indeed still there. True to Jadzia's assessment he had indeed been keeping vigil over him propped up in a chair beside the bed. Now Gaven looked to be in a deep sleep and once again the man looked unwell. Julian sometimes wondered if his apparent fatigue was more than just emotional disparity and if he was beginning to show signs of radiation sickness from lack of exposure.
Julian got dressed as quickly as he dared and contemplated whether it was better just to leave or try to rouse Gaven from his slumber and encourage him to go back to bed. While Julian had to make an appearance one way or another in the infirmary, Doctor Ore was not technically required to be there every day and was welcome to take liberties with his schedule whenever he liked.
After several moments of contemplation, Julian finally decided it was better to try and rouse the other man. He didn't like the idea of just leaving Gaven sleeping upright in the chair and apart of Julian also wanted to make sure the other man was alright before he left him alone.
Coming around the side of the bed, Julian gently pinched either side of one of the doctor's knees and shook it. "Gaven? Gaven, wake up."
Not unsurprisingly Julian's efforts did little to stir the man.
Sighing, Julian took a moment to take some old-fashioned vitals to make sure Gaven genuinely was just in a deep sleep. His breathing was normal though his pulse was a little fast, Julian noted. Without his instruments, Julian had to rely on his doctoring common sense. Pushing a dark curl from the other man's temple, Julian pressed the palm of his hand to Gaven's forehead checking for signs of an abnormal change in body temperature. His temperature turned out to be normal but when Julian went to pull his hand away from Gaven's face his fingertips accidentally brushed against a wet part of Gaven's skin just above his cheekbone. Upon closer inspection, in the dim light, Julian noted his face and throat were moist with tears, and Julian could see the doctor's upper eye skin quiver indicating his eyes were rapidly moving under their lids which meant that Gaven was likely in an intense state of REM.
Worried for him, Julian gripped Gaven's shoulder and shook it a little more aggressively. "Gaven, wake up. You're in a bad dream. It's all right. It's me, Doctor Bashir. Come along now."
Gaven stirred just enough to expel a whimper and stretch as one hand reached out fingers extended to touch something that wasn't there. His body trembled a little bit as his consciousness ebbed a little closer to conscious reality but didn't entirely turn over into wakefulness.
Bashir's heart twisted painfully for witnessing what he realized was a more honest representation of what the good doctor must have been privately feeling all this time. While Jadzia had often indicated she thought Gaven was indeed in a great deal of private pain, the weight and depth of it had never really struck Julian as clearly as it did now. Growing more concerned by the second and not wanting to startle the vulnerable man out of his troubled repose, Julian sunk onto the bed and sidled up close to the other doctor until their knees pressed. Julian carefully caught Gaven's open hand and squeezed it pushing his free hand into the side of Gaven's face leaning in close so that when he spoke again, he could take on a more intimate and authoritative tone.
"Gaven, I said wake up. You're all right. It's a bad dream. Whatever is going on it's not real anymore. Let it go and open your eyes for me. Gentle now. I won't leave you, but I want you to open your eyes and look at me."
Finally, Julian's coaxing was enough and Gaven did eventually open his reddened and swollen eyes to look at him briefly. Unfortunately, Gaven couldn't sustain eye contact long before a fresh wave of waking grief rumbled up through him forcing the usually so controlled man to crumple forward and into Julian's arms. Without reserve, he then quietly sobbed and whimpered with his eyes and the bridge of his nose pressed into the hollow part of Julian's left shoulder where his arm converged with his chest.
For a moment Julian was worried the man might fall out of his chair and it took a bit of reordering to readjust somewhat so that Julian could brace his back against the contemporary backboard of the bed and essentially pull the other man halfway into his lap as he might have done with a distressed child. Gaven, who usually would have been appalled by the whole business for once gave in allowing the doctor to do his job and perform a more evolved sort of bedside manner.
"I'm sorry, Gaven. I didn't know it was this bad. I had no possible idea. I promise I won't tell anyone, but you must let me help you find a way to address this properly. You can't face this kind of turmoil alone anymore. It's too much. You've been through unspeakable trauma, and I should have known better. I should have seen how deeply it ran. I promise it's going to be alright. Just hold onto me and try to go back to sleep."
Gaven didn't say anything or look at Julian again but eventually, his convulsive movements eased, and his grip loosened proving he was spent and too tired to bother feeling embarrassed.
As it turned out Julian didn't end up leaving Gaven's quarters until the afternoon and only departed when he was sure that the man would sleep without further disturbance for some time. Instead of going directly to the infirmary or even to Dax, Julian made a direct line for one of Quarks halo-suites bribing the first customer he saw to give up their spot so that Julian could utilize one of the programs immediately.
As had become common now that his friend Felix had finally come through for him and sent the program that he'd been designing ahead of schedule, Julian pulled up the lounge singer Vic's program. He desperately needed to unburden his mind but didn't want to technically violate his patient-doctor confidence by confessing himself to one of his friends. He wasn't ready to go to Captain Sisko about the matter either, although that would have been his second-best choice.
"Why so glum, chum? How about a song to lighten your spirits?" The rat pack inspired lounge singer said upon appearing in front of Julian at the holo-bar.
"Not now, Vic. I need to talk, and you're my only safe option." Julian distraughtly muttered.
"Sure kid. Tell old Vici boy what happened." The lounge singer pulled up a stool and ordered them both a drink.
"He just fell apart, Vic. In all my years as a trained medical professional, I've never experienced anything as raw as that. Even when I've dealt with grieving families…It's never been like that." Julian muttered. "And the worst part is that this has likely been going on all along. He's been here on Deep Space Nine for weeks now, suffering and no one knew. He didn't let anyone in."
"Well although I don't know who you're talking about, kid, it sounds like he's let you in. You gotta admit, that's got to count for something." Vic reasoned. "Nobodies an island. What exactly happened? Did he owe someone money, get jilted by a dame?"
"I don't know. The man has been kicked off his planet for some reason. Abandoned and left for dead. Clearly its more than that though. He must have lost people he cared about. Maybe even someone he loved. God, who knows what else. Starfleet knows so little about his people, and I know so little about his actual circumstances before he came to the station that it's hard to understand it all. To top that all off he's medically sick and emotionally destroyed. And so far, I can't do anything for him." Julian angrily growled.
"Sounds like the guy is completely down and out. I gotta admit I've been there myself and you want to know what pulled me out of it? Good friends, the love of a good woman, and the sweet, sweet music." Vic mused.
"Thanks, Vic. That's just so helpful," Julian complained.
"I'm telling you, kid. The best thing you can do for the guy is to try to be there for him. Keep him distracted and give him a reason to keep on living. The good thing about losing everything is that you have everything new to gain."
"Maybe your right. I just don't understand why this situation is bothering me so much. I wouldn't call the Doctor and me, friends, per se. He's a colleague and an extraordinary and talented man. But…" Julian muttered.
"So, you got an irrational soft spot for the lug. It happens." Vic muttered. "You don't need to be friends with someone to care about them."
Several hours later Julian was looking green around the gills but tolerably capable as he made up for lost time in the infirmary. When Jadzia Dax suddenly strolled into his office looking for him. "Well good evening, Julian. Got a minute?"
"No. Go away Dax. I'm in no mood for one of your lectures nor do I feel like running through a postmortem of last night's events." Julian was still very much out of sorts and had been trying hard not to take it out on anyone while he was on duty.
"Geeze, fine. What crawled up your backside? What's the matter? Still hung over?" Dax pressed trying to tease him into a better mood.
"I told you I don't want to talk about it." Julian insisted more firmly.
"Well then. Is Dr. Ore around? I'm planning a dinner party set a few days from now and wanted to invite him. You're invited too if you can manage to behave yourself." Jadzia muttered.
"I encouraged him to take the day off. He wasn't feeling very well." Julian said as he focused on his datapad.
Dax narrowed her eyes at Julian's tone but didn't press him further.
After a few minutes of watching him ignore her, Julian finally sighed and put down his pad so that he could rub at his face.
"Seriously, Julian how did things really go last night?" Considering that it had been her idea for Julian to engage the other doctor, she felt she had a small right to know how everything had gone.
"We had dinner and talked. You were right that Gaven's very willing to be candid when someone allowed to know things asks him about himself. He didn't tell me everything, but I do feel as If I understand him a little better now. He's a sensitive man, and I think it can be safely said that none of us really know the extent of what he's been through." Julian knew this much he could afford to share with Dax.
"Are you worried about him?" She gently asked.
"Yes, though I'd prefer not to go crazy over it and run to the Captain just yet. It's clear to me now that he's in profound mourning." Julian had logically suspected as much but having seen it firsthand had shaken him especially given that he wasn't sure which aspects of Gaven's history haunted him the most.
"What can we do for him, in your opinion?" Jadzia inquired.
"It's hard to say. The grieving process is unique to everyone, and Gaven's got quite a lot to be upset about. He may never fully heal from his experiences. All anyone can do is try to be supportive and available to him if and when he decides to reach out. In the meantime, you and I can help him by figuring out this damn radiation business. We need to find a way to create poly radiation treatments or the lack of exposure over time will kill him." Whenever Julian didn't have the answer to one question, he switched to another that would hopefully prove to be more easily solved.
"Dr. Oum must be able to contain it; otherwise, he would be a walking radioactive hotspot and people would become sick. If his tissues can contain it, then our only problem is to get the poly radiation into him. In theory, once it was absorbed his biology would render the radiation benign, I would think." Jadzia observed.
"It seems the Oum wanted him to die in space. But you'd think that if the poly radiation is derived from their sun then putting him in orbit around the planet would have only killed him assuming the tomb lacked an environmental life support system and rations. To kill him through lack of exposure they would have had to dump him well out of range of the sun." Julian reasoned.
"Does the data we have on hand say where the freighter picked him up? I find it hard to imagine the Vulcans would have traveled too near the Oum's planet." Jadzia asked.
"I don't know for sure. I suppose we'd have to run it by the Captain or Doctor Ore himself since we can only look at the fabricated files Starfleet has on record." Julian mused.
"What are you thinking?" Jadzia asked.
"Well, there seem to be a few plausible possibilities. It's possible that the Oum is space capable and jettisoned the craft out of the system. Another possibility is that they kept him close to the planet and the freighter just happened to be traveling in the region, picked up on his distress and rescued him. Vulcan's are more resilient to standard radiation so it's possible they could be just as resistant to poly radiation and that this would make it possible for them to travel through the system without any major adverse effects. In any case, Dr. Ore insists the Vulcan's rescued him and I do believe him. I must admit though that I wouldn't mind getting my hands on remnants of whatever it was they found him in." Julian said.
"Why?" Jadzia asked.
"I want to see if they perhaps put him in something that shielded him from the poly radiation. When he mentioned the craft, he was floating in Gaven called it his Tomb. I've been wondering if he meant that more literally than not. Something about the Oum believing in honorable suicide over murder." Julian said.
"Speaking of customs, Doctor Ore has given the Captain permission to release the data Gaven transcribes about the Oum to us for personal study. He told me he coded it to read like a series of speculative novels. I suppose to ensure no one linked the data back to the actual planet or him. We're supposed to get them during our briefing tomorrow. The information might help us." Jadzia informed him.
"I'm sure we'll find it all riveting," Julian muttered.
