Weirdly enough, Aziraphale hadn't not expected Crowley to turn up. Though a lot failed between them, trust had never been one of those things. If one gave their word, they followed through with it. Therefore, he wasn't surprised at all when he heard the engine of Crowley's car outside his book shop at approximately eight-fifteen the next morning.
"Didn't think I'd come?" he asked while he strode through the door Aziraphale had just opened.
Aziraphale shook his head as he stepped back to allow him through. "Oh, no, no, not at all. In fact, I knew you'd come."
"You did, did you? What if I hadn't?"
"There's a baby here with your name, Crowley. I didn't think you'd want to miss coming."
Crowley didn't answer, keeping silent as he walked up the stairs, the angel close behind. "How is she, then?"
"Good! Very good. She did not wake up once." He could hear the happy grin in his voice. "I fed her the same way you did last night and then changed her."
Crowley paused and turned around. "Physically?"
"Uh- miracle-ly."
"Ah." He began walking again.
"Yes, well, my finger didn't provide her with much milk so we shall have to buy a couple bottles… oh, and clothes, too. Blankets aren't giving her a lot of warmth. Nappies would be perfect as well. I think I'd quite like to have a go at changing her properly. Oh! I was thinking about the types of toys we should buy her… rattles, maybe, and stuffed toys… ah, and formulated milk. It's better to give her that than continuously use our powers. Baby powders, and- and creams…"
Crowley couldn't help but grimace with every word, yet he hadn't the heart to stop the angel who currently sounded like a new dad. He briefly wondered how he'd deal with her loss. Though they'd only had her less than twelve hours, he truly did seem besotted.
"Well, let's see her." He turned the corner and walked into the room, crossing his arms over his chest and stopping once he'd moved a little further in. Elodie was lying in among Aziraphale's pillows and blankets, gurgling quite contentedly and moving her little arms and legs around. He rose an eyebrow. "Happy little bugger, isn't she?"
Aziraphale joined him, standing by his side. "And thank Goodness for that! Otherwise, we'd have a very difficult baby on our hands."
"All babies are difficult," Crowley told him. He moved forward and peered a little closer. "Did you stay up in here all night?"
Aziraphale hesitated. "Uh, well…"
"I'm guessing that's a yes."
"It was difficult not to! She's such a sweetheart, especially when she's sleeping!"
"If you continue to watch her sleep when she's older, that'll be considered stalking."
"Well, it's a good thing she'll be gone, soon, isn't it?"
They glanced at each other before turning back to the baby. "Very good, yes…"
Neither angel nor demon had ever had any reason to go shopping, let alone in Costco. Though they'd acquired a large amount of money over their many years, it wasn't like they could spend it on anything over than house items and the occasional clothes. Of course, Aziraphale's bill mainly consisted of ludicrously overpriced meals in posh expensive restaurants, and Crowley's included car maintenance and endless pairs of dark glasses. The two would have the shock of their lives when they glanced at them again a little later and saw how it was filled with baby products.
Aziraphale greatly delighted in placing Elodie in the baby carrier attached to the front of the trolley. The smile on his face was huge as he strapped her in, dodging her kicking legs and arms. He'd placed a blanket under her for padding and another over her writhing body to protect her from the cold until they bought her some new clothes. Meanwhile, Crowley stood to the side, arms crossed, frown evident, leaning against a lamp post.
As soon as they'd entered the shop, Aziraphale rolled straight for the baby aisle and Crowley begrudgingly followed. The great thing about Costco was the fact that it sold anything and everything. There was an aisle especially for baby clothes, which Aziraphale began browsing straight away. "Oh, look!" he said ecstatically, turning around with a white one-piece in his hand. The biggest grin was on his face as Crowley leaned forward to peer at the black writing on the front. Aziraphale told him anyway. "Daddy's little angel!"
Crowley said nothing. He stood straight, flicked his hand towards the one-piece and then walked past him. Aziraphale frowned after him before turning the item around to look at it. "Daddy's little demo- Crowley!"
He definitely wasn't in hearing range anymore.
Despite warring with himself over it, Aziraphale placed the new – not improved – one-piece in the trolley, as well as picking up another of the angel ones. He found a sweet little yellow shirt and some black leggings and quickly placed them on Elodie, smiling when she seemed happier with her extra warmth. Tiny brown boots made their way onto her dinky feet, and a fluffy jumper with bunny ears on the hood was fitted over her head. He kept the price tags so he was able to pay for them later with the rest of the stuff he bought.
"Can we get her this?" Crowley was holding up a stuffed panda, which must have been almost as tall as him, when Aziraphale rounded the corner to walk along the toy aisle.
The angel's eyes widened. "Do you see the size of that thing?"
"Yeah, that's why I want her to have it."
"You want it for yourself, Crowley, not for the baby." He shook his head and Crowley frowned.
"Not true," he contended as he walked past, not-so-discreetly dropping the bear in the trolley as he did so. Aziraphale didn't take it out.
Crowley mainly picked out the toys, which largely consisted of stuffed animals, though the angel did toss in the occasional rattle and teething ring. Crowley had reminded him that Elodie wouldn't be with them when she began teething, but Aziraphale's excuse was that everything they bought her now would be passed on with her to her new home.
"Right. The pink or purple blanket, Crowley?" The demon turned, eyes widening at the sight of two luminous purple and pink blankets in Aziraphale's held-up hands.
He shrugged, remembering the mountains of blankets Elodie had slept in the night before. "You don't think she has enough blankets?"
"Well, I- I'd like for her to have something to remember us by."
"You keep saying that!" Crowley gestured to the trolley. "Besides, isn't all the stuff we're buying today enough to remember us by."
"I suppose." He hesitated a little, eyes glancing over to the baby, before holding both blankets up higher and raising an eyebrow at his friend. "Pink or purple?"
Crowley stepped forward and took a red one off the hook. He tossed it in the trolley and placed his hands on his hips, walking off. "Neither."
The two continued to walk around the store. Among the mountains of clothes, the blanket, toys and the colossal panda sitting in the trolley, they'd also managed to acquire a couple boxes of nappies – Aziraphale had insisted they needed more than two boxes, but Crowley had eventually managed to convince him otherwise on the grounds that there wouldn't be enough space in the trolley and he was not carrying anything – some creams and powders that the angel said was necessary, and a pram that was folded up and stuffed on the part underneath the main trolley. They'd also picked up a bassinet that was small enough to fit beside the pram, of course among many other baby necessities.
"Are we done here?" Crowley asked, stifling a yawn.
Aziraphale shook his head as he turned and pushed the trolley down another aisle. "Bottles, Crowley. Can't leave without bottles."
"Oh, yeah. Nobody is ever going to suckle my finger again."
Aziraphale stopped and placed a finger on his chin, narrowed eyes scanning the shelves. "Hmm," he mumbled, "bottles, bottles, bottles… which ones should we get?"
"They're all the damn same, angel." He stood next to him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why does it matter, anyway? A bottle's a bottle."
"Well, you see, it needs to be a top quality bottle, as she'll not be feeding from her mother's milk. Our next stop will be to grab some boxes of formulated milk, specially made to give the baby all the required nutrients she would be receiving if she were being breastfed. Understand?"
Crowley blinked, clearly processing what he'd been told. His yellow eyes narrowed behind his dark glasses and he cocked his head slightly to the side. "You didn't answer my question."
"Oh, look at this little darling!" Both angel and demon turned at the new voice, immediately coming face-to-face with a young-looking woman. She was smiling hugely, looking at Elodie with bright green eyes. She had her hands on her own trolley, a child who seemed to be around one year old sleeping in a baby carrier. "She is absolutely adorable!"
Aziraphale's eyes widened slightly and he smiled back. "Why, thank you!" he said.
"What's her name?" the woman asked. She walked towards their trolley and reached out to stroke the little girl's tiny hand.
"Elodie," Aziraphale proudly told her. He clasped his hands in front of him and grinned, briefly glancing over to Crowley. He had his arms crossed and was standing behind him, looking indifferent.
"What a beautiful name!" Her smile widened as Elodie grabbed one of her fingers, wrapping her tiny hand around the digit. "Are you first time dads?"
Four eyes widened, and they snapped their heads around to stare at each other. "Uh, we're not-"
"Nope, no. Not."
"Haha, we, uh…"
"Definitely not."
The two stammered, rushing to assure the woman that they most definitely were not what they expected she assumed they were. Meanwhile, she stood looking a little surprised next to the trolleys, glancing between the two, mouth slightly open. Aziraphale and Crowley eventually shut up, turning to look back at her, and her eyes widened in eventual realisation.
"Oh!" she said. "I'm so sorry for assuming!"
Aziraphale moved to wave off the apology, but Crowley surprisingly stepped forward instead. "She's my niece. Aziraph- um." He faltered slightly. Humans didn't often understand how other humans could be named things such as Aziraphale. "Az here is helping me look after her while her parents get a break from baby duty." He grinned, pearly white teeth showing, and leaned on the trolley.
The woman, as expected, bought it. "Ah, right," she said with a nod. "New-borns can be trouble – this one here is my third one – but they're worth it all in the end."
The angel stepped forward. "She very much is proving to be so," he said, while the demon muttered an almost inaudible "if you say so."
"Well, I should get home to my husband – the kids are probably driving him mad – so, I'll be off."
Aziraphale shook her hand. "It was lovely meeting you!"
"You, too." She turned back to Elodie. "And your sweet little angel, here!"
Crowley groaned.
Shopping continued after – if a bored demon following an over-excited angel around Costco could be considered shopping. The trolley was completely full, and Crowley did end up having to carry a bumper box of baby wipes. They picked up a few other things on the way, stuffing them in between crevices and cracks in the trolley. "Are we done here?" Crowley repeated hopefully, and Aziraphale seemed to think for a moment before he gasped and turned the trolley around again.
"Dummy!" he said, and Crowley had the good grace to look offended.
"Don't call me a dummy!"
"No, Crowley. We need dummies. Pacifiers. Soothers."
"I knew that."
"Which one should we get? There's quite a few."
"Just get them all."
"If you say so."
Crowley wasn't totally happy when he and Aziraphale had to cram everything into the back of his car, worried it would get ruined in the process. He'd been busy pushing the pram into the boot while Aziraphale was excitedly fitting the baby carrier into the back seat. Honestly, he did feel happier about that part. An unexplainable feeling of butterflies flew in his stomach whenever he was driving with Elodie sat on the angel's lap. This just seemed safer, he supposed.
Back at the book shop, you'd think Aziraphale had just brought his new daughter home from the hospital. He spent about an hour setting things up around the shop and his upstairs living area while Elodie lay on a (new) mat and he sat drinking, and soon enough it was literal baby heaven.
"Doesn't it look wonderful?" Aziraphale said happily, stepping back and admiring what he supposed was the baby's new room. He wondered what he'd do with it when she moved.
"Simply dreamy," he replied. Aziraphale ignored the sarcasm.
"I believe now is feeding time! Could you make the milk for me while I get her ready?" He gave him no time to answer before handing him a bottle and rushing off into the corridor.
"Feeding time?" Crowley muttered inaudibly to himself. "How does he know?" Nevertheless, with a shake of his head, he followed Aziraphale into the corridor and turned off into the small kitchen where he knew the formulated milk was stored in an overhead cupboard. His hand paused on the way up to reach it as he suddenly remembered what Aziraphale had asked of him: "could you make the milk?" Make. Make. How did one make milk? That was the cow's job.
Sighing, he grasped the box of formulated milk and set it on the counter. There were packets inside, which – he learnt by reading the instructions – each held the usual amount of formulated milk that infants of Elodie's age needed.
He must have spent too long making the milk, because Aziraphale walked in about ten minutes after he'd started, the baby cradled in his arms. His eyes widened. "The mess, Crowley!" Crowley glanced at his work-space and grimaced. How had powder managed to cover the entirety of the countertop's surface without him noticing? Though, maybe he had noticed yet hadn't said anything. Probably that.
"This-" he motioned to the mess- "wasn't me."
Aziraphale looked down at the baby. "Elodie, how dare you crawl into the kitchen and make a mess of your milk formula powder!"
Crowley rolled his eyes and thrust the bottle into his hands. "It's done."
"Did you make it the correct way?"
"If the instructions are correct."
"Heat it up properly?"
"Of course. I did the wrist thing."
"Did you-"
"Yes, yes, yes, angel. Don't you trust me to make a simple bottle of milk?" Aziraphale's mouth opened and he shook his head. "Don't answer that."
The two made their way into the living room and sat down on the sofa. It wasn't the Italian leather Crowley had in his home, but the demon could admit that they were pretty comfy. He seated himself on the end of the couch, crossed a leg over the other and took his phone out of his trouser pocket. He presumed Aziraphale would ready himself and begin to feed Elodie, so he was quite surprised when he was suddenly tapped on the shoulder. He turned to see Aziraphale sat facing him, the baby in one hand and the bottle in the other. He rose an eyebrow. "What?"
"Would you like to feed her?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Definitely. I've only just washed my hands."
Aziraphale refrained from rolling his eyes, a small smile on his face, before glancing down as the baby let out a little whimper. "Oh, are you hungry, little one? Would you like Crowley to feed you? Yes?" He ignored the glare on the demon's face as he shifted Elodie, clearly intending to hand her over. Crowley shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. Aziraphale seemed put off for a second before his eyes widened a fraction and the sound of a phone ringing wafted into the room. He gave a sickeningly sweet smile to his friend. "I must answer the phone, Crowley, so you have no choice in taking Elodie. All you need to do is gently put the teat in her mouth and she will drink it! Have fun! Don't accidentally kill her!" He handed both her and the bottle to him so fast that he really had no other choice but to uncross his arms and take her.
"Oi!" he said as Aziraphale stood up and rushed out of the room. "You made that phone ring with your damn powers!"
"Did not!"
"Did too, you sneak!"
"Feed the baby, Crowley!"
Crowley stuttered for a response but found that no words could come out. His yellow eyes flashed with slight annoyance before Elodie whimpered yet again and fidgeted, her little lips beginning to quiver. He huffed. "Alright, alright," he grumbled, picking up the warm bottle, "stop your whining." He gently brought the bottle down and pushed the teat against Elodie's lips, and she opened them wide to allow it in and immediately began to drink, her bright blue eyes blinking as she stared up at Crowley while he fed her. The sweet little noises emanating from her almost made Crowley's heart melt the smallest bit. Almost.
He leaned back against his seat and adjusted the baby on his lap. If only the demons in Hell could see him, now.
When Aziraphale returned about twenty-five minutes later, he couldn't help but stop at the door and clasp his hands together, a huge smile on his face. He didn't bother to hide it when Crowley glanced up and over at him. "What've you been doing for half an hour?" he asked.
Aziraphale walked in. "Taking that phone call." Crowley rolled his eyes and he smiled sheepishly. "Sat in Elodie's room," he corrected himself. Crowley rolled his eyes again.
"I know you're only asking me to do this stuff so you can make me fall in love with the child."
Aziraphale adopted an almost hopeful look as he sat down next to his friend. "Is it working?"
Crowley sighed. He looked down at Elodie, whose eyes were closed as she slowly drank the last of her milk. "Angel, we can't have a baby."
"We already have her, Crowley… all we need to do now is keep her!"
"You know what I meant."
"Yes, I do." He sighed in defeat and the two launched into a silence that was nearly uncomfortable. "Are you really so opposed to the idea?" he asked quietly.
Crowley could have rolled his eyes at the sheer determination of the angel, but he didn't, despite knowing he wouldn't have been able to see it from behind his black glasses. "'Course I am," he said, "and you should be, too. Imagine what our sides would think of the idea. First, an angel and a demon become friends… second, they adopt a baby! I mean, how ridiculous is that? We'd not only be defying the unspoken rule of angels and demons, we'd be laughing in their faces." He shook his head. "We can't do that. We're not doing that. How would we even go about it? Shared custody? She spends one week at mine and the other at yours? Why would we even want a baby? She'd get in the way of our jobs, she'd cause unnecessary distractions… not to mention she'd be caught up in our dangerous lives. No. The idea's stupid. Ludicrous, even. Shouldn't be considered at all. Which is why we're not to get attached." He ended his little speech with a short nod before averting his gaze from Aziraphale and leaning heavily back against the couch.
Aziraphale decided not to respond to it. If one thing was certain about what had just been said, it was that Crowley's mind and decision was set. For now, at least. He cleared his throat. "Of course," he said uneasily. He glanced down at the baby. "Her bottle's finished. Should I take her to bed?"
Crowley shook his head. "She's already asleep."
"I doubt she'll wake. It has been a long day for her."
"She's fine here."
Aziraphale wasn't quite sure what to say. There he was, discussing at length what a terrible idea keeping this baby was, and yet, at the same time, he was refusing to give her up. "Which is why we're not to get attached," he'd said. The corners of his lips turned upwards as he turned around and leaned back, trying his hardest not to look too pleased. Of course, it was a silly thing to think, especially after what Crowley had just said, but his friend had definitely made progress from the stone-hearted demon that had opted to leave the baby in the basket yesterday night. He doubted anyone would even believe him if he told them that the person there, holding a new-born in his arms, was a fallen angel-turned-demon. He suddenly wished there was a way he was able to sneak a photo, but he knew he'd somehow find a way to burn it later on.
"TV?" he found himself asking, turning his head slightly to look at Crowley.
Crowley nodded once and Aziraphale reached for the remote to turn it on. He barely ever watched the television, but he thought it would be better than sitting in silence for the next however long it took for Crowley to give the baby up and head home.
He figured it would be a while, but somehow, he couldn't imagine himself minding.
