Crowley hadn't gone home that night.

In fact, he hadn't gone home in almost two weeks.

He'd tried, of course, but every time he made to leave, Aziraphale would somehow pull him back. At least, that was what he told himself. He tried not to think about the fact that he was a demon, and therefore entirely capable of saying no and leaving anyway. It would have done him no good at all to think more on it.

Anyway, it wasn't like there was really much at his own house. Sure, the angel's cosy and… cheaper lifestyle had taken him a little while to get used to, but there wasn't much wrong with that. For the moment, both were focusing on Elodie until they were able to find her a suitable home.

"Aziraphale!"

Aziraphale had been reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of tea in the living room when his name echoed around the house. Having left the baby with Crowley only ten minutes ago, his thoughts immediately wandered to all possible scenarios which could have happened between them. Had she gotten hurt somehow? Had Crowley accidentally obliterated her? "Oh, Lord," he couldn't help but mutter to himself as he all but threw his cup and paper to the kitchen table before leaping up and racing off to the bathroom. He had to stop thinking these things. Just because Crowley was a demon, it didn't mean he would – intentionally or not – hurt the child… right?

He'd quite possibly never run faster in his life. He raced down the corridor and turned into the bathroom, expecting to see all kinds of madness but instead was met by the exact sight he'd seen when he'd ten minutes earlier. Frowning, he looked questioningly at Crowley. "You… called?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. We've run out of baby shampoo." As if to prove his point, Crowley held up the purple bottle.

Aziraphale heaved a sigh of relief before shaking his head and walking over to where the demon was kneeling. "Crowley, I told you to give her a bath, not a deep clean." He took the bottle from him and found that it was indeed empty. "We bought this only last week."

Crowley shrugged. "She was dirty." His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, forearms wet and covered with suds, and there was water all over the floor, soaking the towel he was kneeling on. Elodie, thankfully, was still in the tub, lying in a little baby seat they'd bought from Costco for her to sit in while she was bathed. This was her second bath, and, as expected, Crowley's first. (First as in first time bathing someone… it wasn't his first ever bath… the demon would have his head if ever thought as such).

"Not that dirty, I assure you." He looked over at Elodie and smiled, relishing in the way she locked eyes with him for a brief moment and gurgled happily. It'd been quite the experience, the last couple weeks, watching her grow, if only a small bit. One of life's rare beauties.

He quickly helped Crowley rinse off the gallons of shampoo in her wisps of hair and the suds on the rest of her body before picking her up and wrapping her in the fluffy towel the demon was holding up. "There!" he said with a grin, settling the baby in his arms. "Snug as a bug in a rug!"

"I beg your pardon?"

Aziraphale ignored him. He walked out into the hallway and into Elodie's room, where her night clothes had been set out by Crowley. He realised he'd picked the 'Daddy's Little Demon' shirt, partnered with black pajama bottoms, but didn't have much chance to reach over and swap them with the pink ones before Crowley wandered in.

"I found one today," he said, walking over to where Aziraphale had Elodie on the changing table.

Aziraphale glanced up. "You found what?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"A family. A couple. Trying for a baby." His voice was lacking the usual sarcastic and hard tone, having softened it simply to make this easier for the angel. It was no secret how attached he'd become to the child over the past two weeks. Everything he seemed to do nowadays revolved around the child. His daily plans were scheduled on account that Elodie's feeding, changing or nap times didn't overlap them. Aziraphale lived and breathed baby, now. He even smelled like talcum powder! Actually… taking a quick whiff of himself, so did he.

As expected, Aziraphale's movements slowed slightly. He continued to stare down at Elodie as she fidgeted on the table, and Crowley noticed how his lips moved every so often as though he was struggling for words. Finally, having dressed the baby nicely, he turned his head to face him. "You… you have?" he asked quietly.

Crowley nodded. "Well, while you've been up here on baby duty, I've been searching for families. It hasn't been easy, but the background checks and stuff are good on these two. Lillian and Elias Hayes. Nice names, right? Elodie Azura Hayes. It works."

Aziraphale blinked, gently picking Elodie up and holding her to his shoulder. "So does Elodie Azura Crowley," he said absently as he turned to place her in the bassinet.

Crowley shut his eyes for a brief moment and shook his head. "We've talked about this."

"I know. It- it's just… so soon."

"She has to go sooner or later. And at this rate, sooner is a heaven of a lot better than later. Less time spent with her means it'll be easier when she has to leave."

"I… know."

He didn't, and both knew it all too well. If Aziraphale wasn't the good angel he was, he'd probably pack up in the middle of the night, take Elodie and go into hiding, just to avoid Crowley and ensure he didn't take her away. Crowley didn't like upsetting him, but he couldn't think of any other way this could work out. It had to be done, and he'd known that from the start.

"How long have they been trying for a baby?" Aziraphale asked.

Crowley shrugged. "I didn't look into things that personal, angel. All I know is that they're not getting very far."

"IVF?"

"Probably."

"How did you find them?"

"I'm a demon. I have my ways." Aziraphale turned his head and Crowley gave him a small smile. It was the least he could do. He mirrored it, though expectantly it was less sincere, and backed away from Elodie, who'd swiftly fallen asleep.

"What is the plan, then?" he asked once the two were out in the hallway and the door was shut. "I suppose I shall pop in and say I'm an angel sent by God to deliver them this child. Are they even religious?"

Crowley shrugged. "If praying every night for a child counts as religious, then yes. Remember to tell them her name."

"Of course."

"And we'll miracle all her stuff over to their house. Shouldn't be difficult at all."

Aziraphale forced a small smile and nodded, heaving a sigh. "Shouldn't be."

"Great. So… tomorrow, then?"

He'd hoped Crowley would give him a little longer, but he had just said that the longer Elodie stayed with them, the harder it would be to let her go. He should have expected it, really. After all, he could have asked him to wake her up that moment and go immediately. He wouldn't go as far as to say he was being considerate… more like logical.

Nodding, he forced a happier expression and stood tall. "Tomorrow."


That night, Aziraphale praised the countless times Elodie woke crying, eager to spend every minute with her. Crowley sat in the living room, sipping endless glasses of alcohol while the angel dealt with her. He'd attempted to let him sit at least one wake-up call out and rest a bit but, as expected, Aziraphale wouldn't hear of it. "No, no, it's fine," he'd said, "you just sit there and put your feet up. I'll be right back." Crowley had had his feet up for twelve hours. Aziraphale, on the other hand, had been up and down like a yo-yo.

Crowley had figured that an angel appearing in the middle of the day wouldn't have 'the full effect', as he'd called it, so he'd – fortunately for Aziraphale – said he could take her that evening. He'd appear in a glowing golden light, angelic smile on his face, cradling the baby, and say something awfully biblical like "I am the angel Aziraphale, and I have been sent here by our Lord to deliver this miracle to you!" Of course in the squeakiest angel voice he could muster, as was customary.

Aziraphale had uncharacteristically slapped him on the back of the head for that. "We do not squeak," he'd squeaked.

Another slap.

All day, Elodie had been fussed over immensely by Aziraphale. The only time Crowley had gotten the chance to hold her was when the phone rang and he'd quickly passed her over. Truthfully, the demon couldn't really say he despised the child… he never had… he just hadn't liked her much. What demon would? It would be abnormal and totally not expected of him. Nevertheless, over the past couple weeks, he'd quickly become accustomed to his daily life revolving around her. Honestly, it hadn't taken much at all. Aziraphale had been quick to get him on changing and bathing duty, and though one was definitely easier than the other, and Crowley knew the angel's intentions all too well, he'd never said no.

Winter nights brought along an earlier darkness, something which Aziraphale mentally cursed, and so Crowley had told him to be ready to go by six. He'd just finished appropriately clothing Elodie and wrapping her in a white blanket when the demon walked in. "Ready to go, angel?" he asked.

Aziraphale turned to face him. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Great. Now, you remember what to say?"

"Yes."

"Right. Off you go, then. I'll wait here until you get back, but I'll leave a bit after that… I have to head home at some point." He said the last part a little absently, and Aziraphale nodded in understanding.

"Uh, of course… would you like to say good bye?" He motioned towards Elodie.

"I already-" He paused at the look on his friend's face. "Sure. Give her over." He took her from him and held her the same way in his arms, glancing down at her little face. She still seemed to be sleepy, but her big blue eyes were anything but droopy, staring up at Crowley. "Well, Woody, it's been… not utterly bad having you here."

"Woody?"

"We found her in the woods, didn't we? Anyway, as I was saying… yeah. It's been great. Bye, now." And, with that, he thrust Elodie back into Aziraphale's arms and gently grabbed his wrist to pull him towards the door. "Quick, now. Let's get this over and done with." He seemed ready to protest at the fact that Crowley hadn't given her a proper good bye, but thought better of it after realising that that was probably the best good bye a demon was capable of giving.

With a heavy heart, Aziraphale glanced at Crowley once more, who gave a quick wave before crossing his arms over his chest, and sighed. He shut his eyes, tightened his hold on Elodie, and was gone not a second later.


"Oh my God! Elias! Elias, there's a man in our bedroom!"

"Very funny, darling."

"No, seriously! Come out!"

"I'm on the damn toilet, Lilian. Would you wait one more minute?"

"In case you didn't hear me, darling, there is a man in our bedroom!"

Aziraphale really should have thought about where he was going to do this. Thinking about it, he probably would have been better off knocking on the door instead of teleporting right into their bedroom. But, then again, did devoted Christians who read the Bible and prayed every night seriously expect an angel to turn up at their door? In a suit, no less. Oh, Lord… he should have worn his old angel robes.

"ELIAS!"

His eyes went wide at yet another shout, and he quickly shook himself from his slight stupor, eyes focusing on a woman on a bed, holding her blanket up to her face as though for protection. She had dark hair, was quite pale – though he wasn't sure if that was natural or if she was genuinely that terrified – and looked to be fairly young. The man that came rushing out from the en suite looked to be the same in age, though his skin was darker and he had pale brown hair. As soon as he caught sight of him, he immediately stopped dead in his tracks and raised his fists, looking ready to fight.

Aziraphale put a smile on his face and stood tall. "I am the angel Aziraphale, and I have been sent here by our Lord to deliver this miracle to you!" He rose Elodie slightly, tipping her so the couple were able to see her face.

"A-angel?" Lillian asked, sceptical yet still curious. He had magically appeared out of nowhere, after all. Her eyes were fixed on the baby.

Aziraphale nodded. He glanced over to Elias, who looked no less suspicious than before, and sighed slightly before shutting his eyes and concentrating. Not a moment later, two beautiful white wings emerged from his back. The couple gasped, and Aziraphale could have sworn Lillian turned paler. He stepped forward. "Please, do not be afraid," he said in a voice that was usually portrayed by angels in those old movies, "our Lord God sent me personally to give you, Lillian and Elias Hayes, this sweet child. Your struggles will now be rewarded with the deliverance of Elodie Azura." As if by instinct – which, really, it was – the usual angelic glow around him brightened, further proving to the couple that he was indeed what he claimed to be.

Lillian briefly looked over to her husband before moving off the bed and walking ever so slowly towards him and Elodie. He attempted to widen his smile, though really it couldn't get any bigger. Elias was clearly more doubtful of it all, but he did not try to stop Lillian. "We have prayed every night," she said, tears shining in her eyes.

Aziraphale nodded. "And God has heard you."

"She… she's really our child?" Elias spoke up. "We have tried… so much… but each time we fail. We were about ready to give up."

"Well, do not give up now. For this is your daughter, and you must care for her."

"Oh, we will!" Lillian turned to her husband and held out her hand, tears openly streaming from her eyes. Elias seemed ready to return the happy look and take hold of his wife's hand, but a second later he suddenly went rigid, and his eyes fixed on something behind Aziraphale. "What is it?" Lillian asked, turning around. Her own eyes immediately went wide, and she stepped back into the protective arms of Elias.

"Who are you?" he asked, and Aziraphale frowned.

"I have already told-"

"What do you mean? He- he told us he was an angel!" Lillian said, now apparently crying for a completely different reason.

Aziraphale swiftly turned to look behind him, but saw nothing. He looked back at the couple and was utterly confused to find that they were both staring at what seemed to be thin air, listening intently. His eyes widened and blinked rapidly when they gasped, and Elias's face turned angry. His eyes flickered over to Aziraphale, and he moved in front of Lillian, bringing his fists up yet again to fight. Aziraphale briefly wondered about mentioning to him the small fact that if they truly were to go against each other in a fist fight, he had absolutely nothing on an angel. "Get out of my house, imposter!" he shouted. Aziraphale was quite honestly having difficulty working out whether he was speaking to him or the air behind him. His thoughts were answered when Elias pointed a finger at him. "I said get out, Az- Aza- whatever your name is!" Yes, it was definitely him.

"Um… it's Aziraphale-" he politely began to inform them, but found himself quickly snapping his mouth shut when Elias's face grew redder. That hadn't seemed possible!

"I don't care what your name is! Go! We don't want you and your evil child, demon! Leave us alone! May the power of Christ compel you!"

Aziraphale's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head. "Demon? I'll have you know, Sir, that I am in fact the exact opposite!"

"BE GONE!"

"Yes, yes, alright! Good evening to you!" He was about to teleport before he suddenly felt an unexplainable urge to… "No, no! Bad evening!" And with that, he was gone.

Maybe he really was a demon.


He arrived back home in a flustery flutter of feathers, mind still reeling over what he'd just experienced. He couldn't quite believe it. There he was mere minutes before, believing this to be the last time he'd ever lay eyes on Elodie, and now here he was, returning home with her! Whatever would Crowley think?

"How'd it go? Were there tears? Did you put on a brave front? Did you-" Aziraphale turned to face Crowley, and the demon, who was holding a glass of whiskey in his hand, stopped suddenly and stared for a moment. "Did you even go?"

"Oh, of course I went, Crowley!" Aziraphale all but huffed. He shifted the baby in his arms. "The couple you sent me to seemed nice at first and willing to believe that I am an angel, and then suddenly they began talking to the air behind me, and- and tried to exorcise me out of the house!" Crowley wasn't quite sure he'd ever seen the angel more exasperated in his life. It was almost fun. "I am unable to think of what came over them! Maybe… maybe somebody appeared behind me and made it so I could not see them… yes, yes, that would make more sense than them talking to the very atmosphere, wouldn't it?" He began pacing. "But it still does not seem comprehendible to me! They called me a demon, for God's sake! A demon, Crowley! Do I look like a demon? Though I- I suppose they wouldn't know what a demon looked like… but, still! I clearly told them I was an angel! There is a difference!" He paused and took in a deep breath. Well, that was something he'd never done before.

"Look," Crowley said, stepping forward, "maybe you're overreacting."

Aziraphale turned to him as though he were about to go off an yet another rampage before he suddenly noticed his calm – too calm – demeanour, and the way he was absently swirling his drink. For a situation such as this, he definitely was acting odd. A slight realisation came to him suddenly, and though he wasn't really sure what to make of it, he decided to chance his luck and ask anyway. Turning fully around, he tilted his head slightly to the side and looked at Crowley, who seemed all the more oblivious to his thoughts. "Uh, Crowley… you wouldn't have happened to have left this house at all tonight, would you?"

Crowley glanced up at him and shrugged. "What's it to you?"

Aziraphale broke out into a grin. "A-ha!" he said, temporarily forgetting he had a baby in his arms and consequently causing her to let loose a small whine as he jostled her. "It was you! You were behind me!" His face fell slightly. "… right?"

Crowley shrugged once again. "If you say so."

The two stared at each other for a moment, one completely relaxed and the other utterly confused, thoughts whirring inside his brain. "I'm not understanding," Aziraphale said after a short while. He gave Elodie one of his fingers to play with (her idea of play was mostly putting things inside her mouth, but the angel didn't mind as much as the demon). "Why would you come to the house? Why- why couldn't I see you? What did you say?" His mouth opened in slight shock and he pointed a finger at him accusingly. "You told them I was a demon!"

Crowley chuckled. "Actually, I believe my exact words were-" Here, he cleared his throat and moved into a position that Aziraphale would have called angelic if he didn't know the truth- "'Greetings! I am the angel Caziraphale, and this here is the demon Azley, sent by the Devil himself as an imposter to give you this Satanic child as a means of turning your family into one who serves Lucifer! I must express how much danger you are in while this foul beast remains inside your home, and ask that you make it leave immediately so that the angels waiting outside are able to capture it and bring it to justice!'" He sniffed and quickly resumed his previous – demony – stance, taking a swig from his glass. Obviously he believed his impression to have been the definition of angelic. Aziraphale, who currently looked stunned, figured it wasn't too far off, though his years as a demon had definitely rubbed off on him on the sarcasm side of things.

"But- but why?" he asked.

"I had to get you out some way," Crowley told him, "and it wasn't like they were going to let you go off with the baby that was apparently sent to them by God so easily, was it? I had to think of a way to get them to turn against you."

Aziraphale stared at him for a moment, completely gob-smacked (for lack of a better word). He shook himself, attempting to make sense of what the demon was telling him. "I was so close, though," he said. "So close to… to giving Elodie a new home! Is that not what you wanted? What we agreed on?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, well. Maybe I had second thoughts."

Aziraphale's eyes could not have widened more if he tried. "About keeping Elodie? Oh, Crowley! Really? Seriously?" At Crowley's small nod, he grinned and looked down at Elodie, silently revelling in the fact that she was going to be with him a lot longer than he'd originally thought.

Crowley downed the last of his whiskey before placing his glass on a small table standing in the corridor. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Aziraphale to look up at him. There really was no way out of this now, was there? He shook his head and stepped forward. "Okay, listen," he said. "Centuries on this planet, and never once has anything truly exciting happened to us. In two weeks, I've learnt how to change a nappy, how to give a baby a bath without accidentally drowning her, how to deal with endless nights of crying… well. I have to admit, it hasn't been the worst two weeks. I- we've definitely been kept busy." He was beginning to see the angel's warm eyes glisten with what could only be tears and kept going so as not to give him time to let them fall. "Now, don't call me sentimental or anything of the sort - but you clearly like the little mite and I really do not fancy having a grumpy angel on my hands for the rest of our lives." He allowed himself a small smile at Aziraphale's short laugh. "So… we can keep the child. There, I said it, okay? We can keep the damn child. But she stays here. And I'm not. I'm going home. But… if you need help with anything, I will come." He heaved a sigh and silently motioned to the baby. Aziraphale willingly handed her over, smile never wavering, and watched as he settled her in his arms. He glanced up. "Look, a child is a huge responsibility, especially when you're a demon and an angel with dangerous lives that could cause that child trouble at any moment… but we found her, and finders keepers."

Aziraphale chuckled. "I'm not quite certain you can say that about a person, Crowley."

"You want to keep her or not?" He bit his lip as a means to shut his mouth. "The plan is… we try to keep her on the down-low for as long as we can. Keep her off our sides' radars. There's nothing really that can stop us from doing this, seeing as we didn't get given an angel or demon handbook, but it's still going to be tricky. If we ever get into trouble, she could be used as bait or, well… worse. Neither of us want that." Elodie gurgled and he looked down at her. "Isn't that right, Woody, huh?"

"I really hope you're not planning on keeping that nickname."

"It's either that or Mite."

"Woody it is!"

Crowley absently pinched the girl's cheek in an affectionate manner before seemingly realising what he was doing and letting go. Satan, he wasn't holding back, was he? He cleared his throat and gave her to Aziraphale before sticking his hands in his pockets and stepping back. "That's all," he said. "I'll be off. Have fun. Don't kill her. Remember to call me if you need me." He inclined his head a little and turned to walk out.

"Wait, wait!" He glanced over his shoulder as Aziraphale called him. "Thank you, Crowley."

Crowley waved if off and soon disappeared around the corner. Elodie whimpered a little and Aziraphale looked down at her. He smiled. "It sounds like dinner time. Let us go and get a bottle heated, hm?" He shifted her so he was holding her against his shoulder and cradled the back of her head, walking towards the kitchen.

The smile never left his mouth.

Finally, he had some kind of meaning on this godforsaken earth.