Chapter 21: The Council
Neurosecretory cell placed a hand on the handle of the door leading to the grand hall of the Cerebellum. He could already hear the muffled shouts and calls of senility thrown around by his colleagues on the other side of the door.
He smiled a mirthless smile.
They'll slaughter me, I'm sure. He mused.
He was late, very, very late.
The world had finally descended to REM sleep, and an emergency meeting was called out to all neurons to discuss the growing rebellion of the Archrtraitor and what actions needed to be taken. As the neuron in charge of the Hypothalamus, his presence was essential to the meeting. Still, dire circumstances requiring his immediate attention kept him from attending on time. Now his colleagues were demanding for his nucleus.
He let out a sigh. He was tired and worn. He could feel his organelles begging at him to ditch the meeting and take a break. The past few days had been hectic for his office as they struggled to deal with stacks of cytokine requests begging to increase the world's temperature by another degree. Rest was never an option available to him, nor was it ever on the table for the rest of the world.
While the Archtraitor lives, there would be no rest for everyone.
He inhaled a mouthful of air before opening the doors to the Cerebellum.
Immediately he flinched at the deafening buzz of a billion throats.
It was chaos… pure chaos inside, and he could see clashes breaking out between the two opposing factions, which were split down into the left and the right hemispheres. Neurons specializing in logic sat on the left tiered-seats of the grand theater. In contrast, those specializing in emotions sat on the right tiered-seats.
"You useless idiots!" Neurosecretory heard a neuron swearing on a lower-tiered seat in the left hemisphere toward the neurons seated opposite of him. "You neurons from the Amygdala are all irrational!"
He was immediately countered by a neuron from the right with hundreds of cable wires connected to his nucleus. "And you logic-heads are all useless with your constant analysis paralysis!"
Neurosecretory noted countless similar feuds occurring across all levels of the amphitheater as he strode toward the center where the dais of the Speaker was located.
No one seemed to take notice of his presence despite the only one moving on the middle divider of the two hemispheres. He quickened his pace until he reached the dais of the Speaker situated at the center of the amphitheater.
The cowled Speaker, who appeared resigned at the chaos the two hemispheres had devolved into, suddenly perked up when he saw Neurosecretory climbing the stairs toward his seat.
"Y-You!" the Speaker gasped. "You're supposed to be-"
"I'll explain later," Neurosecretory placed a hand on the Speaker's shoulder, grabbing his vox-amplifier.
He took one more glance at the feuding hemispheres before sucking in a deep breath.
"Silence!" he boomed, his voice echoing all across the multiple levels of the Cerebellum. Cobwebs of electricity fluttered in the hall's ceiling and into the vast network of cables, snaking their way to neural interfaces connected to each and every seated neuron.
Everyone stopped at whatever insult they were about to diss out. Instead, they turned their attention at the director of the Hypothalamus standing next to the Speaker. Neurosecretory suddenly sensed the irritated gazes of his colleagues, and he couldn't help but widen his lips into a smirk.
"Look at you sorry lots, all bickering while the world burns!" He continued. "Are we neurons?! Or are we a bunch of platelets?!"
"Neurosecretory!" the cowled neuron sitting in the Speaker's throne stood up to face him. "You are late. You were summoned to this chamber half an hour ago! Explain your tardiness."
"I was preoccupied, Mr. Speaker," Neurorsecretory bowed apologetically.
"Preoccupied?!" shouted a neuron covered in deep crimson robes. He was seated at the left-side middle section of the amphitheater along with other neurons who looked as annoyed as he was. "REM sleep is about to end, and you have the gall to report to us at your own leisure pace?"
"I assure you, my esteemed colleague from the left," Neurosecretory placed a hand on his nose bridge to adjust his glasses. "My leisure pace is far from leisure in comparison to whatever you claim to do."
That got a laugh and jeers from the neurons on the right.
The neuron in deep crimson slammed his fist on his seat. "Insolent parasite! I have you know that I am far mo-"
"Be that as it may," Neurosecretory continued, entirely ignoring his interpolator. "I do recognize my faults for being late, but be assured it was to counter the Archtraitor and not for anything else."
"We of the council are all busy countering the Archtraitor," the Speaker added. "It is not only your personal crusade, Neurosecretory, make no mistake."
From the progress this council is making, it would seem I'm still doing more than any of you combined. He thought but kept his opinion to himself.
"Point of order, Mr. Speaker," a neuron from the right hemisphere stood up. Like many of his colleagues in attendance, he wore a breather mask that heavily distorted his voice to sound robotic.
"The Council recognizes the delegate from the right." The Speaker pointed at the neuron.
"Mr. Speaker, the right honorable neuron from the Hypothalamus, accused this council as a bunch of bickering platelets. I demand the right honorable neuron from the Hypothalamus apologize and recant his slanderous accusations."
A cacophony of grunts and murmurs reverberated all around the amphitheater.
"Denied," the Speaker responded. "We do not have time for that as of this moment, although let it be known the latecomer is admonished for speaking out of turn."
Neurosecretory bowed his head.
"Now," the Speaker started. "Tell the Council of your assessment regarding this rebellion."
Neurosecretory gave a curt nod.
"The world will face extinction in the next circadian cycle if no external help will be given."
Silence fell across the amphitheater. Neurosercretory stood unmoving beside the Speaker's pulpit. He had nothing more to say.
"That's it?" The neuron in deep crimson asked.
"Yes," he concurred.
The Cerebellum exploded to a cacophony of shouts and insults.
"Order!" the Speaker banged his gavel three times.
"You are supposed to give us a detailed report of the situation, not vomit out apocalyptic predictions!" bellowed a neuron situated in the left hemisphere.
"I can give you a detailed read-out of each cytokine request or the amount of Prostaglandin E2 the Hypothalamus has carried out." Neuroserectory countered. "But it is a moot point unless we ask for external support."
"Point of order, Mr. Speaker," the delegate from the right spoke, his breather mask wheezing each time he exhales.
"Denied," the Speaker exclaimed, a tinge of annoyance present in his tone. "Let me remind everyone here that this is an emergency session. Speed is of the essence. We must not be bogged down with Council procedures!"
"I object, Mr. Speaker!" the delegate from the right shouted. "It is precisely because we are in emergency se-"
"Order!" the Speaker banged his gavel. "You speak out of line, sir!"
This time, the delegate from the right didn't respond. His eyes burned with contempt but didn't challenge the Speaker.
"This goes with everyone on this gathering." The Speaker looked up to address the gathered neurons. "We constantly bicker and getting nothing done!"
"Then allow me to ask for a point of clarification instead, Mr. Speaker," The delegate from the right softened his tone. "Is that still allowed?"
The Speaker let out a long sigh as he adjusted his cowl. "Fine, that is allowed. You, sir, are now recognized."
"Thank you," The delegate from the right bowed his head before immediately proceeding to point an accusatory finger at Neurosecretory. "He comes in late, calls us a bunch of bickering platelets, and now he wants to disturb the Consciousness in getting help?!"
"Order!" the Speaker snarled as he banged his gavel on his desk. "You are out of line and-"
"I will not be silenced, Mr. Speaker, it must be-"
"Order! Order!"
"-clarified to everyone the mandate of the Consciousness regarding seeking medical help!"
Neurosecretory clenched his teeth. He could sense the sparks of electricity fluttering at his dendritic endings, the more he felt anger boiling inside him.
Still, they waste time! He thought. Still, they do nothing!
The neurons on the left took offense at the accusations of the delegate from the right, even though they were not being addressed.
The gathering immediately descended into screams of insults and jeers thrown at each other.
"The Consciousness is wrong!" Neurosecretory shouted, not caring at this point at who would get offended. "The Consciousness needs to know this world needs proper help! That this world will not be saved by simply drinking lemon juice and herbal tea!"
Everyone stopped whatever they were doing. Neurosecretary stared at his stunned colleagues, defiant and seething with anger.
"What… What did you say?" the delegate from the right asked in a low growl.
"You heard me," Neurosecretory crossed his arms. "I do not think I need to repeat myself a second time."
And once again, the whole amphitheater erupted into chaos. Billions of neurons spatted, yelled, and screamed at Neurosecretory, denouncing him as a blasphemer.
The Speaker pummeled his gavel on his desk, shouting for everyone to calm down, but no one was paying any attention nor cared about any decorum on this gathering.
Neurosecretory remained unmoving at the barrage of insults hurled at him. The accusations continued, and for a moment, he mused he had achieved what the Speaker could not of uniting the two hemispheres into one common cause.
It didn't last long, unfortunately.
Soon, accusations flew that he was a member of the other side's faction, and fights broke out all throughout the boundaries of the left and right hemispheres. Individual neurons fought with their fists and Axon cables used as whips or ropes to strangle their opponents on the other side.
Neurosecretary balled his hands into tight fists. He felt disgusted at the infighting and indecision purported by his colleagues. Even when the world burns and the Archtraitor's armies lay waste to all that stood on their way, all these 'benevolent' ancient ones still choose to do nothing.
Suddenly, he could feel his dendritic endings tingling. He furrowed his brows and realized he could sense a built-up of electricity all across the gathering.
His colleagues also started to notice the strange phenomena as one by one they stopped at whatever they were doing. Streams of electricity coursed through the vast network of cables.
Then, without warning, the ceiling of the amphitheater erupted into a storm of light and thunder.
A/N:
I wanted to try writing a scene where neurons who are heads of their specific parts of the brain were all seated inside a board room, with Neurosecretory one of them, and then a CEO like neuron barges into the room demanding answers as to why everybody effed up. Something like the intense board room scene in the movie, Margin Call.
However, I decided to stick with the grander plan of having all the neurons meet in one amphitheater, all billions of them, and just make a huge mess of it all. I know the brain is far more intricate and complex than just splitting it into the left and right brain, but again, I decided the simpler route so there would be more yelling and screaming.
Also, I kind of wanted Neurosecretory to call out his colleagues as a bunch of bickering platelets. ^^
Lastly, since this is a story about the struggles of the Cells in our bodies, I just want to wish everyone to stay safe and vigilant from any diseases or ailments.
As you know, the Coronavirus is turning to be a bigger outbreak than previously thought.
So again, stay safe, always wash your hands, and always be vigilant.
Until next time everyone!
Revision History:
- Originally published on Jan. 31, 2020
