Gaven came out of his meditative trance more quickly than was healthy due to the punctual arrival of Cheval and the invasive sound of his door being rung. The sound tugged just firmly enough in the back of Gaven's consciousness that it broke his purging state and caused him to come crashing back into conscious awareness. The suddenness was almost cruel as he experienced the realness of his projection crumble and the strength of the feeling it had evoked become dull and far away. That was the purpose of the Oum purging ritual, to encourage mental processing and emotional distance. Gaven had primarily avoided the practice since being expelled from Oum preferring to live entirely within his memories and feelings no matter how debilitatingly painful. The effect of the purge was almost immediate. Gaven felt the familiar emptiness of his feelings and the relief their absence afforded him. The state of mind wasn't permanent, but for now, it would linger until his mind could generate more emotional trigger points.

The door rang a second time while Gaven struggled to recover himself and get up off the floor. After finally getting to his feet, he scrubbed at his face a moment and then limped without assistance to his door. By the time he opened it, Cheval's back was half turned as if he'd been contemplating walking away.

"Cheval. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Please come…" Before Gaven could finish his rushed invitation, Cheval caught a glimpse of his face and interrupted him.

"Doctor Ore. Is everything all right?" The alarm in Cheval's voice was cutting in its abruptness and was surprisingly assertive for the usually shy and uncertain Vulcan.

Gaven blinked a few times as he tried to catch up with himself and understand Cheval's reaction.

"Yes…Yes, I'm fine. Everything is…" Gaven muttered.

"No. It is not. Come. You will sit down immediately. I insist upon it." Cheval set the big paper package he'd been holding down on the floor inside the apartment and stepped forward placing his palm flat against Gaven's chest so that he could nudge him back more fully into his quarters. He then took Gaven by the upper arm and ushered him the short distance into his living room.

"Cheval. It's all right. I'm all right." Gaven reassured him more firmly, making sure to turn into Cheval so that they were face to face and so that Gaven could plant his free hand on Cheval's shoulder. He gripped it firmly as if to compel the Vulcan to reassess him.

Cheval, who was only a little shorter than him, took the opportunity to look straight into Gaven's face and did reassess his features.

Had Gaven been able to see himself from Cheval's perspective, he would have better understood the younger man's alarm. Gaven's eyes were irritated and rimmed in red. There was a noticeable sheen of moisture in them as if he had been holding back tears. His general demeanor seemed disheveled, scattered, and disorganized compared to his typical astuteness and orderliness. All of this coupled with how long it had taken Gaven to answer his door had given Cheval good reason to be alarmed.

"You look distressed. What have you been doing?" Reluctantly Cheval released him and tilted his head ever so slightly to the side.

"I'm sorry. I was meditating and lost track of time." Gaven said apologetically.

"You were not just meditating." Cheval objected. "Please explain to me what has happened so that I can better understand."

Gaven sighed audibly and conceded as he settled down upon the arm of his sofa as he often did when he didn't entirely want to give up control.

"Before you arrived, I was attempting to purge some uncomfortable emotions and thought processes. But I miscalculated…I failed to anticipate that it was perhaps a poor thing to undertake under the current circumstances and time constraints of our meeting." Gaven began.

Stepping back and hugging himself, Cheval considered this explanation. "Do the Oum not embrace strong emotional states?"

"Yes. We do embrace our feelings. My species, overall, have strong emotional receptivity and selective empathic abilities that we do actively cultivate. But, like your people, my people have come to understand the importance of self-control. Our emotional purging practices allow us to examine our stronger impulses, feelings, and repetitive thought processes and then we can release them as our needs and objectives necessitate." Gaven explained.

"I see. Vulcans have similar approaches for practicing and maintaining self-control." Cheval related. "May I say something?"

"Of course. Please, be candid." Gaven encouraged him.

"Given the extreme nature of your experiences as well as the emotional and psychological disturbances those experiences have caused you, I do not believe you should attempt your traditional purging ritual alone. It is logical that because your emotional burdens are so complex, it may be dangerous or at least hazardous or you to carry on without proper support. It is important that you are choosing to confront that which disturbs you, but you must also take into consideration that your act of confrontation may also present undue stress and incapacitation in and of itself." Cheval observed.

Gaven listened with great attention before he ventured a response. At length, his eyes slowly fell to the floor between them.

"I'm sorry I scared you." Gaven reproachingly said at length. "I should have waited."

"There is no need to apologize to me. I only wish to express my concern as…Your friend." Cheval emphasized the word "friend" as if he were trying it on.

By now he had relaxed considerably and was almost back to his usual shy and uncertain demeanor. But Gaven had been allowed now to glimpse Cheval's inner strength as well as his compassion. His concern for Gaven was real and not something either man took lightly.

"I would like, if you will allow me, to help you." Cheval remarked.

"Cheval, I…" Gaven began to protest.

"I do not want to be invasive. The things you do to cope with your experiences and life are your own business. I simply want to offer my assistance for after your attempts. You might find that you need someone to care for you who…" Cheval's tone was almost manic in his bright and careful willingness and this time it was Gaven's turn to beat him to the punch of his thoughts.

"…Understands." Gaven finished Cheval's thought for him.

"Yes." Cheval confirmed.

"I have a silly idea." Gaven said at length eventually quirking a grin. "Why don't we start this evening over? I know Vulcan's aren't much for theater, but perhaps you would humor me in this instance."

Cheval suppressed a knowing look of amusement. "You wish for me to step out of the room and pretend as if I have just arrived."

"I did say it was silly." Gaven reminded him.

Not surprisingly Cheval did rise and, after picking up the package he had placed on the floor, triggered the entrance. He then stepped out into the hall and allowed the door to close.

Gaven remained where he was on the edge of the sofa somewhat bemused by the fact that Cheval had gone along with his idea. In the back of his awareness, he could almost hear Lopel's words again reminding him of his virtues. The purging made the words barely recallable, but despite the dull numbness that blunted his feelings and thoughts, Gaven's attraction to the young Vulcan nudged its way through his awareness urging him gently on despite it.

After a moment, the door sounded again, and Gaven eased himself off the edge of the sofa and approached. This time he was determined to meet Cheval properly. Schooling his features into an emotionless vein, he took his time before tapping the door mechanism.

As expected, Cheval was waiting for him on the other side and this time Gaven took his presence in.

Cheval was dressed in a simple Vulcan style tan tunic and tailored pants. The casualness of his attire made him look younger than he was. It was a detail that would have been lost on someone not familiar with the species in their natural environment of Vulcan. Gaven had been on the planet long enough to recall important impressions about Cheval's people. Now in his information gathering mode he allowed himself to note other trivial things. For instance, Cheval was tall by human standards though petite in physical frame by Vulcan comparison. Knowing what he knew of Cheval through their unique circumstances that had thrown them together and through their repeated telepathic contact, Gaven recalled how Cheval had commonly been targeted and harassed by his Vulcan peers for being less robust than they were. Even as an adult Gaven had witnessed some of the indifference and disrespect Cheval still often endured.

Gaven's impression of Cheval was of course quite different. He considered Cheval to be gentle and sensitive. His life experiences had encouraged a timidness and sorrowful placidity that gave Cheval an air of undeserving tragedy, but Gaven knew that with the slightest encouragement Cheval could lift himself above his upbringing. Like Gaven, Cheval was used to being overlooked and undervalued because of what he did not represent. This was perhaps the relatable theme between them. Among their worlds and despite both men's many personal achievements and admirable qualities both had been cast as insignificant by their own kind and as oddities by everyone else.

"Doctor Ore. May I come in?" Cheval asked dutifully even though they both knew the question was unnecessary.

Gaven curbed an amused smile and stepped back then gestured for Cheval to enter.

"I have brought you something for your space here." Cheval announced.

Gaven hadn't looked at the package until then, but he could tell what it likely contained.

"You brought me flowers." Gaven observed.

"Yes. A type of Bajoran Orchid." Cheval watched expectantly while Gaven carefully removed the paper.

Once the paper was removed to reveal the white-flowered plant, its sweet potent fragrance pleasantly began to waif through the space. Gaven looked at the plant longer than was necessary and then to Cheval who had settled back down on one side of the table.

"I like them very much. Thank you." He said sincerely.

Cheval pressed his lips and bobbed his head in acknowledgment.

After disposing of the brown paper, Gaven settled himself at the other side of the table once more. "Would you like some tea? I acquired a Vulcan variety that I recall you favoring during the final stages of the freighter's journey to Vulcan."

"Jasmine tea. My mother used to grow her own on Vulcan." Cheval remarked as he let Gaven pour out a cup and pass it to him.

"How is your mother, by the way?" Gaven asked.

"She is well and pleased that we are reconnecting." He replied.

"Why is that do you suppose?" Gaven inquired flatly.

"I suspect she feels gratitude towards you for saving my life and the life of the others when our freighter came under attack." Cheval said politely.

"As I recall, you were the one who brought me out of stasis. We saved the freighter's crew together. My only real service to your people was tending to the wounded after the fact. Even the business with the Breen…It was your idea to alert them to my existence recalling the no contact pact between my people and the changelings from our mind meld, and it was your scientific expertise that helped the crew stabilize the warp core before it imploded." Gaven pointed out gently.

Cheval made no reply and instead both men sipped at their tea for a while.

"If I may say, my people should have watched over and protected you more closely on Vulcan. You deserved asylum. Given who you are and what you had done, the High Council would have welcomed you as an alien refugee." Cheval remarked scowling with dissatisfaction.

"It wasn't anyone's fault that I was abducted from Vulcan. Even the Federation has failed to produce any concrete explanations of the facts in the matter and, frankly, it doesn't matter to me one way or another. I've come to terms with the reality that the moment I resisted my prescribed destiny on Oum, I lost control of the direction of my future. It seems that is the price I am meant to pay for my exile and my freedom." Gaven pointed out dismissively.

"This is not freedom." Cheval contradicted firmly. "I do not fully understand what the Federation is holding over you that you would help them at the cost of your civil liberties. You are not a criminal nor does it seem anyone plans to take responsibility for the crimes that were perpetrated against you under the guise of the Federation when you were taken from Vulcan and tortured for information that you did not have. It seems to me you are being drawn into a conflict that should not concern you."

Do you want me to justify it to you?" Gaven asked calmly.

"No, Doctor. I would like you to qualify it to me. I am not interested in judging you for your choices. I wish only to understand them." Cheval replied.

Gaven considered his response carefully.

"When I was exiled off Oum and left to die in space, my life lost all context and meaning. Maybe the moment Lopel Ner died it happened. In any case, the irony of my situation is that I was exiled from Oum because I dared to uphold the idea that my life had its own unique purposes and meanings outside of what I was born to be. Being launched into space and forgotten about was a statement about being insignificant to Oum and anyone else. Since then, by fate or design, time and again, I have found myself at the mercy and service of strangers. What I am…who I am…seems always to be both vitally interesting and only important so far as it is useful to those who know anything about it. I know that I am caught in the crossfire of the current conflicts of our time. If I'm not warding off Breen attacks, and concocting science that both preserves life and exploits its weaknesses; then what am I doing?" Gaven posed.

"Is there nothing you want for yourself? Have you not developed desires of your own?" Cheval asked.

"Everything I wanted, I left on Oum. I don't know how to aspire to anything grander than servitude. It's the one thing I was bred and groomed for. As for this business with the Dominion, the Oum have modeled much of our values around our past experiences with the Changeling culture. We by no means worship them, but we have a deep seeded respect for their value. From what I've gathered off my world the changelings have become as bitter and as isolated as my culture has. Their opinion of other living beings has become rigid. The Federation of Planets should and does fear them greatly. The conflict with the Dominion is rooted in the difference between individualism and collectivism. The sum of my own life has been centered around the same argument. I believe individualism should be allowed to exist and prosper without domination. But I fear the annihilation strategy of conquest. It seems to me that what the Dominion cannot control they will seek to destroy. For those on the other side of that equation, the temptation to annihilate before they are annihilated might prove too strong. Someone has to maintain the balance." Gaven said.

"Someone like you?" Cheval said rhetorically.

Gaven shrugged dismissively.

"For now, I seem valuable to all sides. In the end, though, I will adhere to only what I think is right. No matter the consequence." Gaven said quietly.

"Be that as it may, doctor, you did not answer my question." Cheval pointed out. "What is it that you want for yourself?"

"I want a home. A people. I want a future of my own choosing." Gaven said at length. "I just don't know how or when it'll come along."

"You cannot achieve those things here among these people." Cheval observed.

"I know. In many ways I'm just existing here. Reacting to everything around me. I cannot bring myself to fully exert the power of my own will. Until now my will has never belonged to me. It's taking time to learn how to be my own." Gaven shrugged.

"It would seem to me that the best way to learn would be to practice. You went to Gulba Four recently. You told me why, but you did not tell me your assessment of their people." Cheval pointed out.

"The Gulbians are a matriarchal and tribal society. They've only recently become warp capable in the last few generations. They are a proud steadfast people. Patient. Passionate. They were extraordinarily gracious to me and I certainly understand how to communicate with them." Gaven smiled fondly at the memory of his adventure. "But they are generally less technologically advanced than Oum was and their world is wild and harsh. It would be challenging to live on their planet long term."

"But you have not ruled the planet or the people out." Cheval surmised.

"No. I rule nothing out entirely except for the notion of returning home. Do you have other suggestions?" Gaven inquired.

"I would have to know the full extent of your criteria. However, if you were to remain within the Federation, I might encourage you to consider Vulcan or Earth. Both planets are relatively peaceful and advanced with diverse ecology. You are familiar with Vulcan already. As for Earth you seem compatible with many of the humans here and you did agree to model your visual persona after them. I have never thought to ask you why?" Cheval asked.

Gaven grunted. "Humans were the most convenient. They are imaginative and often willing to accept only what they see. They are so different from person to person with such a wide range of emotion and personality that by my estimation masquerading as one seemed manageable. I believe the Vulcan's have noted similar attributes in their own observation of the species."

Cheval did not reply to this since they were both fully aware of what the Vulcan database said about humans. Instead, he encouraged them to retire to the sofa together. "There are certain logical advantages to Vulcan over anywhere else."

Gaven waited, knowing Cheval would list them without being asked.

"The Vulcan government has already offered you asylum. It would not be difficult to become a naturalized citizen which would afford you further rights. You also would not have to hide your identity there. Vulcans know Oum is an isolationist planet. Most of my people would not pry into your personal details unless you openly wished to provide them." Cheval paused thoughtfully. "There is one final reason though it is more of a preference of mine. You are my friend, and I would find it more satisfactory if you were not centralized in such a dangerous place."

Gaven felt the weight of the young Vulcan's concern and patted his hand. "I know. I just need more time to think about it all. To make plans. And anyway, I think I've done a fair job at passing myself off. Although it's known I'm not human now, my disguise is rather convincing is it not?"

What passed for an amused expression came into Cheval's face. It wasn't so much a change in his features as it was a kind of light coming into his eyes that brightened his intense expression.

"I am no great judge of human aesthetics. I preferred your original Oum features to this. But considering the impression you've made on the station I cannot argue with your wisdom regarding the matter."

"Close enough. I will accept that as a compliment." Gaven quipped.