Authors Note: Thanks to ClawAtHeart for helpful suggestions and awesome feedback and to Natalie for this chapter which I would never have been confident in finishing all by myself :)
Chapter 6
You awake to the busy noise of cars beeping outside-the first image that your blurred vision zeroes in on is Beca's face quite close to yours-the sunlight hitting her face just beautifully. You thought you'd need make-up to look this good after sleep, but she really is perfect.
You're sure you look like you always do before you fix-up - a total mess. Trying to look and feel good for us mere mortals never was easy, especially in the mornings when your throat is always dry and scratchy, your eyes are puffy, nose red, and your face is a little pinched up and pale. And don't even mention the hair! It's the worst. It's always all over the place and it takes forever to get your morning-Merida hair ready.
Hers on the other hand is falling and framing her face just right. You'd want to move and make yourself look nearly halfway as decent but you can't find the will, the strength to do so. You like this, this you could get used to waking up pressed into Beca Mitchell.
In the back of your mind you recall the two of you leaning closer and closer but you don't remember. You can't recall how exactly you ended up curling so tight, so close into each other. Honestly you like spooning and all, but this, with her legs entwined with yours, her arm around your waist. It's as if even your bodies know that they belong together, that they were meant to fit just right.
Go sleep deprived me, taking action, getting some...well not yet. That will have to come later, and maybe so will the both of you.
Okay, steady girl. She's asleep, so it's no use in thinking that way of her now, at least wait until she's awake...
You see her eyelids moving her fingers twitching. You wonder what she's dreaming about, you tend to dream about her all the time. Not just at night but during the day, in the afternoon, right after lunch, even when you're in the shower...you get the picture. Who knows, maybe in some alternate universe, or maybe just an alternate story, she did the same thing with you.
And sure, this was creepy watching her as she slept, but c'mon you had to take it. It might be a while till you get to do so again.
Then she almost gives a gasp. You like how the movement feels against you. Then she blinks once, twice, her expression dazed, but then she smiles at you. You venture out a "Good morning" and she gives a little contented moan as she stretches. That moan should be illegal.
Oooh, you can see her shirt riding up, revealing her toned tummy. Wait a second she's in a wife-beater. When did that happen? You're sure she was wearing her usual layers the day before... And you'd remember her stripping down. Maybe she woke up earlier, or maybe she did it in her sleep... You wish you'd been conscious for that, but what you really wish for is that you'd been the one to help her do so-but you would have probably just gotten rid of the damn top and everything else in the process.
Don't even think, do not go there. Calm, calm... But Beca looks so freaking delicious... You can't help marvelling at her glorious torso, her toned arms, her ample cleavage... Trust me, if you saw her as well you'd use the word ample. Chloe, just shut up those thoughts and enjoy the view...
Beca then curls back into you, her hand against her cheek rubbing, flexing. She reminds you of a cat- all she needs to complete the picture is to purr. You would more than like to pet her and make her purr, repeatedly... Okay, PG 13 thoughts only.
You swear, nearly awake Beca is the most adorable thing ever.
She's probably still right in between the precipice of sleep into waking. Her smile is all dreamy and relaxed, and her long eyelashes flutter, her lids closing again.
And then, like your morning greeting just registers, her eyes suddenly open, wide awake and clear. They now lock in on you and for a moment they show alarm but then the longer you stare at one another, her grin, if possible, stretches even wider. You're sure yours is just as big.
You imagine the words she'll say back. Somewhere along the lines of a good morning in return and maybe if you're lucky there'll be a beautiful thrown in at the end there, but "Shit" is what comes out of her mouth.
Before you know it she's flying out of the makeshift bed.
Okay? Did you really look that bad?
"Chloe. Chloe I'm sorry. We were supposed to have a quick nap, not end up sleeping here. How are you not panicking? Just look at the time! Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Uh...Well no, it's okay"
"Really? No one's worried about you a boyfriend? A fiancée? Perhaps a pet cat?"
It's amusing how you've discussed a lot of things but you've never really quite touched on that aspect of yourself-you didn't want to shock her or reveal anything about your sexuality until the right time, but you really do want her to know.
Maybe it's the right time to test out her reaction now. Here goes nothing. "Well, there is an Aubrey, but she's pretty busy herself these days, so I don't think she will have noticed." This is it. You're wondering just how she'll react.
She doesn't even bat an eyelash. "Okay, Aubrey then. Is she your partner, and what's got her so busy that she's neglecting you?"
"Really, partner? No she's my best friend. She's an associate lawyer for a prestigious firm. They've got this big case coming up." Is it just you, or does she look relieved. Okay maybe it is just you.
"Okay then. Well I was just worried about you. Maybe someone thought that you'd been kidnapped or something."
"I think it more likely that people pin that kind of thing on me. I can just imagine the headlines 'Crazed Obsessed Fan Kidnaps Famous Star Beca Mitchell with Plans to Turn Her into Her Own Personal Sex-Slave'... or something like that."
You did not just say that aloud. You should have just kept that single thought to yourself, locked in your dirty fantasies forever. This is one of those moments you allowed your mouth to run far, far away from you.
You should've really listened to your own advice and kept your mouth shut. You should probably get your mind out of the gutter as well.
But before either of you can acknowledge what you just said, something, presumably her phone, starts buzzing. So that's what that was. You thought it was just you, that you were imagining things. You really didn't want anything distracting you while you were up-close Beca-watching. Yeah, you think that if you were her you'd be scared to be alone in a room with you as well.
She's scrambling, picking through her things and then she finally pulls out her phone. "Oh darn. Uh shit! I had that thing with- Oh God, uh Hello! Jesse...I'm at... Yes, with a friend...No, it's okay... I know that I should've called-" You notice that she's still looking pretty flushed.
You would usually try reading into that, but you really don't want to hear this. Her real life calling, as if yesterday hadn't happened. Well yesterday obviously meant a lot to you, maybe a preview of what sharing life with Beca would be like.
You are getting way ahead of yourself here, but you've heard of the great power of positive thinking, willing the good things to happen to you- the Power of The Secret
But you''re pretty sure it's all one sided. To her, it was just a getaway with a new potential best friend.
While she's talking, you start gathering your own things. Fixing and plumping things here and there, so that you won't be standing idly by. No way do you want to be accused of eavesdropping.
You try to block out everything about her conversation with Jesse, but you distinctly hear him say "Okay, see you. I love you," and at that moment you decide to look up from about the third time of dusting off the sofa and you just so happen to catch her eye. When she's about to answer, Beca smiles at you before she says "I love you too." You can't help it. Your heart clenches. If only it were really directed to you.
You excuse yourself, you need to get away. Beca shows you to the washroom, where you proceed to get cleaned up –you throw cold water on your face to cool off. Afterwards, while you're drying your face, looking at yourself in the mirror, you realize that you're in this much further than you thought possible. You can tell just by how strongly you reacted to what she said, and it wasn't even meant for you.
But you wanted it to be real... You wanted it so, so bad.
You can't believe that you are allowing yourself to hope this much. It's crazy and it's wrong. Beca's in love with her boyfriend- correction her fiancée. She just said so. Just because you were spending time with each other, it didn't mean that there was a chance of her ever feeling the same.
You finally step out when you deem yourself halfway decent and see Beca just finishing with cleaning up.
"Hey uh, Chloe I have to get going somewhere, so uh I'm calling one of the on-call The Voice drivers to pick you up take you wherever you need to go."
"What about you?"
"I have my own personal driver to pick me up. Jesse is on his way here. He won't take too long, as he's actually around the area."
And to punctuate that point, you hear the elevator come alive and then Jesse steps out, walks up to Beca and gives her a kiss on the forehead. But then, he notices you and his expression is one of surprise, but he recovers quickly.
"Hi, uh Chloe right?" He's looking between the two of you questioningly.
"Yeah."
"So wait, this is where you went the other day when you needed a break? Cameron called me saying that you were feeling sick."
"Well I wasn't lying. I was feeling sick...of him." Jesse gives an eye roll and a mock guffaw for Beca's benefit
"So what've you two been up to?" Jesse says offering an easy smile
"We were together all day yesterday, you know. I showed her around the town. She needs to get used to it."
"Definitely-did you have a good time Chloe?"
Already, you hate that he's being so nice. You really want to hate him.
"Yeah especially when Beca brought me here last night." You say trying to get a rise out of him, get him to break his nice guy act
"You stayed the night?"
"Yeah we ended up, uh, falling asleep. I think I bored her with all my life-stories."
There's this peculiar expression on his face. Perhaps he can see through you, or maybe he knows that you want his girl. Oh shit.
Or maybe he feels threatened...Oh yeah right. Haha.
You lean closer to Beca and she rests a hand on your arm. For a quick second you see Jesse narrowing his eyes.
Okay, maybe you're just reading too much into things like you normally do.
You both proceed to recount the events of yesterday. You almost feel bad for Jesse when you and Beca get talking. He almost shrinks to the background.
"And there was the Beca Mitchel bobbing her head to the Best Song Ever I honestly think you've listened to it more than once since you knew most of the words"
"It's an easy song to learn, plus I'm awesome at picking up lyrics- not my fault."
"I totally saw you mouthing the words to One Thing when it played right after."
"You should get your eyes checked 'cos you were definitely seeing things-"
"I know what I saw Beca Mitchell, you are a closet Directioner just admit it!"
"It's so not true."
"Is "
"Is not"
"Is too!"
"It isn't"
You're all out giggling now while Beca's face remains impassive, if you didn't know her well enough you'd think she was seriously annoyed,
But you do sort of know her by now-you can read her tells; her twinkling eyes, her mouth twitching ready to break into a smile-is giving her away.
She opens her mouth perhaps to retort, you think she's finally on the verge of coming out of the closet, the One Directioner closet that is-and you were kinda hoping for the other one as well, when Jesse cuts her off.
"Babe. Babe, sorry but we have to get going." Really! You were almost ready to stop hating him...no not really... how rude of him didn't his parents teach him not to interrupt when adults are talking,
"Aw Do we really have too, we're already late for the meeting can't we just..." You go Beca show him who's boss!
"No, we can't your Da-Cameron specifically asked me to get you to go...It's a full staff meeting all the heads were I mean, are there..." Drats!
"Fine, Chloe I've got to, you know-"
"Go? well the bathroom is just right over there you don't need to ask me" It's a last pathetic attempt at getting her to smile, you're glad when it's successful albeit you get an eyeroll as well, but you'll take it
"Goodbye Chloe" Jesse says as he leans over to you and gives you a half-hug, realizing maybe that you and Beca hanging out would be a regular occurrence now. He leans in and thanks you for taking care of Beca during her sick day. "Now I know that she'll be in safe hands whenever I'm gone."
To say you are surprised is an understatement, he practically just gave you his blessing.
Beca and Jesse makes their way over to the elevator but then she turns and tosses a set of keys to you, which you mercifully catch "What's this for?" Oh a Key to your heart- Beca you shouldn't have!
"It's to lock up silly rabbit, you can give them to Benji when you see him-" she steps into the elevator and the doors start closing all the while she's peering at you- her face, her eyes finding you as the gap grows smaller and smaller
"-take care of yourself Chlo," is the last thing she says to you her blue eyes the last thing you see before it proceeds to close
"You too Bex" you say not knowing is she can still hear you or not,
You watch them through one of the windows as they leave . He whispers something to her. They're playfully nudging at each other, and at one point he leans in close to her probably whispering something sweet because Beca grins like mad and she catches you watching them. She give you a little wave and Jesse too waves jovially at you and Beca playfully rolls her eyes at him. All you can do is wave dumbly back.
Hmm, what was that about? Whatever you didn't need to get their whole coupley secret exchanges.
You don't see Beca much after that. Only in between rehearsals, but when you do interact, she acts like you guys barely know each other.
So yeah, it hurts and here you thought you two were making progress. Whenever you're in the same room with each other she leaves quickly and heads in the opposite direction whenever she sees you coming.
You are mulling all of this over minding your own business when you see Beca- speaking of the devil funnily she was also in red, surrounded by some men you don't recognize. She seems to be giving them a tour. She turns into the long hallway were you are walking with no exit in sight. Let's see her try to get out of this one. You feel her rapidly approaching, her voice coming closer, increasing in volume. You are readying yourself to reply... when she looks up then shifts her eyes elsewhere but then she walks ahead, past you like she hadn't seen you.
Okay that is it!
"What is your problem?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Beale, I don't quite understand."
"You've been ignoring me, that's what, and I want to know what I did!"
"I'm sorry Miss Beale I've been doing no such thing."
"You saw me just now, and you walked by without even a nod of recognition."
"Excuse me gentlemen, I'll get back to you- Chloe chill." She glances around before she takes you to one side, "Chloe, you can't address me like that in front of all those people. I realize that you are really upset right now, but you can't act that way. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but I told you that it would be different once we got back. I was just being extra cautious about other people knowing that you slept over in my pad."
"What's so wrong with us hanging out? With us being friends?"
"Chloe, I can't be all buddy-buddy with you okay? Just don't take it personally, but I need to maintain a certain level of professionalism when it comes to mentoring you guys. I shouldn't have told you all of those personal things about me to begin with. I mean, would you be comfortable or trusting in my credibility or even Adam's if he had confided in you every detail of his personal life? Remember this is my work, Chloe. This is a competition. We can be civil, we can be courteous, or we can be friendly to one another, but we can't be friends okay?"
"Okay..." Your voice sounds so small.
She doesn't even want to be your friend...that's the kind of thing that kids used to say back in elementary school, but even now those words carry the same hurt.
Okay, this was strike number two in the rejection scale. Didn't she know how much she was hurting you?
No she didn't, and she wouldn't...You can never tell her that you're already beginning to fall for her for real.
