Authors Note: Thanks for all the support guys...I've been trying to churn all of this out as fast as I can (I know not fast enough) but all your reviews always spur me on to upload faster...so hopefully you know what to do...
I hope you guys can enjoy this chapter! Onwards men For NARNIA...(sorry was watching Prince Caspian forgive the random outburst there...)
You never get to make time for rehearsal with Beca, some vocal coach, Beca's own, Anna stepped in to help you.
It didn't really matter for the most part you had the important things down, what you really needed was Beca's moral support...she knew exactly what to say to you-how to calm you down (in her own backwards way)
But she was hard to reach at times, you're wondering where exactly Jesse took her; if he had meant to choose the place that had the faultiest reception ever...
The rare time you had gotten a hold of her, Beca had made all kinds of apologies and excuses some pretty legit but most of them smell suspiciously Jesse-related, it seems that the newly strengthened reunited loved up couple were making up for lost time. Jesse would make the most of his stay, spending every second before he would have to fly off again with Beca.
You give up calling after a while hating the busy tone. You don't want to think about who or what's keeping her busy at the moment.
You wake up in the middle of the night. Your clothes are damp, you're covered in sweat feeling hot and cold all at once. You think you were having a nightmare...Yeah definitely a nightmare, Jesse was in it. The details-the rest of the images in the dream are blurry, the uncertainty leaving you feeling inexplicably scared,
You run to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of cold water, it really hurts going down...
You drink some more, hoping to wash down the nagging feeling deep at the pit of your stomach that just won't go away. You grab the land-line and call Aubrey up, waiting nervously, it takes several rings before she picks up.
"Bree. Hi, how're you?"
"Chloe don't you have a performance later on?" she asks, You laugh, feeling relieved, reveling at the familiarity of this; Aubrey wasting no time in getting on your case. You didn't know how much you missed her until you heard her voice.
"Uh-huh..." you say, swallowing back the tears that are threatening to spill.
"So why aren't you sleeping, I keep telling you Chloe, your voice is your most valuable instrument, you have to take care of it or it won't serve you well..." As she's goes on scolding you, you don't feel the need to say a word-You're just listening to her speaking, the only sounds coming from your end; you clearing the thickness surrounding your throat, punctuating your silence every once in a while. At the most part you're successfully keeping the tears at bay but then a sniffle escapes, and there's a pause in Aubrey's chatter...
"Chloe?" her voice changes you can here the concern now, *sniffle, sniffle*
"Hey...what's wrong?"
"I'm scared...there's just so much happening right now...I really need you.."
"hey, hey slow down...okay, breathe...tell me everything slowly..."
You spend most of the time talking this time, she doesn't scold you anymore she listens as you fill her in, the two of you talk all the way to the crack of dawn...by the end of it you're spent, but you feel so much better...at least emotionally.
Physically however, your whole body was tired and aching. Your throat was hurting the worse it ever had before...You close your eyes to sleep, to find the much needed escape.
Thursday morning comes, and she's still not there...she had Kimmy Jin send each one of you Team Beca girls a message: she would be arriving later than she thought she would (flight delays), but she promised to squeeze in a couple of hours with you girls.
You're in full on panic mode, you needed Beca now and where was she? You were getting worse, no matter what you did. The herbal medicine didn't cut it anymore and you desperately needed someone-no, you just needed her- to talk to about it.
Your voice sounded hoarse and gravelly and not like in a nice way, to put it mildly you sounded like a chain-smoker who averaged three packs a day.
You stay there waiting for her, the time ticking by faster and faster, with your fear and yes some resentment growing...
Three hours till you go on air,
Two,
With one hour and thirty minutes remaining, You give up.
Anna had deemed you fit just the other day, she told you to take it easy and to rest, but that part went out the window last night.
Fat Amy, Cynthia Rose and Stacie are a wee bit distracted, (having their own numbers to worry about and all), but they still flock around you worriedly, offering up some advice, some possible solutions. They know you've been having a difficult time as of late, knowing all about your vocal struggles- the other more emotional aspect of your struggles you didn't share with them- not wanting to unnecessarily burden them with it.
"Maybe you can talk to someone about your throat...like aren't there supposed to be people for that kinda thing." Fat Amy suggests,
"Yeah there are ENT's but what's the point...we're going on in over an hour..." you say miserably,
"Can you maybe ask to move that song to fit a lower register?" Cynthia Rose asks,
"There's no time...and I have very little control over my voice right now...I'm not sure if I can hit all the notes right even if I sing it at a lower register."
"Is there any possible way you could sit this out?" Stacie says, giving the last option. You wish you could, but you couldn't- not if you wanted to move further in the competition...
"And what give people even more reason to think they're showing special preferential treatment towards me?" let's face it you were probably going to go home...you wanted to leave on your own terms, swinging hard.
"It doesn't matter...when it's your voice on the line here Chloe, You have to tell Beca!"
You shake your head, dismissing the notion. Beca was no use to you right now, you were on your own. "Have you guys been able to talk- to establish some sort of contact with her since she left?" you ask,
They look at each other before shaking their heads, "Well she did favorite my tweet to the link comparing The Voice contestants to characters from Disney..." Fat Amy offers, she trails off at the expression on your face.
"No Geez, please stop looking at me like your ready to suck out my soul. You know I've always had this theory about dementors being gingers" You ignore the latter part of her sentence, and continue pressing your point,
"See, so why should she answer a call from me?" you say with mild irritation,
"Because your you." Stacie says without missing a beat.
You raise a single brow in question,
"What do you mean..." Stacie looks back at you, raising her brow as well...
"C'mon she's got a soft spot for you..." You almost hear the unspoken obviously at the end of her sentence, your mouth's agape...
"Wait-sorry what?" you stutter, feeling a bit thrown,
"And we're not saying it has anything to do with the competition," Cynthia Rose says,
"We know that she doesn't play favorites when it comes to the actual competition..." Stacie further explains,
"Except-if it's like, the competition of Love...then of course you are her special favorite..." Fat Amy says, she laughs before high-fiving the other two.
You don't know why you're so surprised, you didn't think anyone of them knew how you felt...
You're sorta speechless, feeling overwhelmed as they continue assaulting you with their words, speaking over the other not letting you get a word in. They're all smiling at you knowingly,
"Chloe anyone can see you've got a hard-on for the coach, and we don't blame you the girls hot." Stacie says matter-of-factly.
Okay, so apparently they knew and they apparently supported you in it. You stare at Fat Amy who snorts at the expression on your face.
"Oh, C'mon...I may never be serious but look, you must know by now that I'm not some vacant headed blonde, I notice things too...just because I don't openly tease you about it doesn't mean I don't know how you feel about her..."
"Seriously the two of you together are so sickening at times...if I wasn't shipping Team Bechloe so hard..." Cynthia Rose says, Wait...Team what?
"Bechloe? Wait who's- OH!" They combined Beca and Chloe, like some ultimate pairing. Huh, that was actually kinda cool. So not only did they support the two of you, apparently they also shipped your pairing; whatever that meant.
"Just go with it..." They mutter,
"Yeah. So what's the latest development between Bechloe ey?" Fat Amy prods excitedly. You feel your energy draining slowly- the momentary lull from feeling horrible is disrupted, the emotions coming back twofold.
You shrug. It was an aimless gesture, that's how you felt about the situation...you had no answers, you had absolutely no idea.
"Spare no detail..." Cynthia Rose encourages, trying to get something more out of you.
You cross your arms over yourself, smiling wanly. Can't they tell that you didn't wanna talk about it.
"Yeah C'mon lesbihonest here." Stacie says her mouth twitching.
"Spill it, C'mon tell us." Fat Amy says, then starts chanting, "Tell us! Tell us! Tell Us! " the other two start joining her.
"Tell us! Tell us! Tell Us!"
Your smile's gone, you can feel your irritation settling in much stronger than before...
"That's enough guys..." you say, "C'mon break it up..."
"TELL US, TELL US, TELL US" They chant continuously, getting louder. They're all laughing gleefully in the process.
"Shut it!" you say as loud as you dare without actually straining your voice, looking around apprehensively, wary and embarrassed of the attention that your group was getting, "People are looking..." you hiss,
"Like everyone doesn't already know..." Fat Amy says flippantly disregarding your concern,
"You are together right?"
"Aw C'mon you don't have to be shy..."
"So when is the Wedding of the Decade?"
"C'mon you have to start planning, okay, you already have the entertainment, and three bridesmaids down" here they gesture at themselves,
"I can organize the bachelorette party!"
"I can hire strippers!"
"We can be the strippers..."
They say giggling to themselves, you've had enough,
"Stop Laughing...IT"S NOT FUNNY!" you do finally shout. You put a hand to your throat regretting the action, wishing you hadn't done that.
"Calm down for Pete's sake and stop shouting. Your voice is already effed up enough as it is..." Stacie says in concern (annoyingly chiding).
"Then stop talking about us like you know what's happening..." you say gritting your teeth,
"That's why we're asking, we want to know..." Cynthia Rose says explaining calmly, soothingly, smiling warmly.
"And we won't know until you tell us..." Stacie adds, with a little smile of her own.
"C'mon, you can tell us things too, you know... " Fat Amy chimes in, "We're not just for the fun times. We can be there for the...not so fun times..."
You smile a little, touched. If you weren't grateful for them a while ago you sure are now,
"It's okay if you don't..."
"Yeah we understand if-let's just talk about something else, shall we?"" They say, backtracking quickly, mistaking your silence for refusal,
"They got back together..." you finally reveal,
"Oh." The three of them look absolutely crushed, some parts confused and shocked. Yeah, you know exactly how they're feeling right now.
You don't get to say much more as you hear some commotion going 'round signalling Beca's arrival. She zeroes in on the four of you sitting around and makes her way over (all the while being followed by a couple of people who are swarming her with last minute instructions and requests) "Yes okay, I'm late... but now I'm here. C'mon let's go..." she says as she passes. She doesn't stop but continues walking; You share a glance with the others before you're off your bums, hot in pursuit.
"Bye girls! I'll just uh stay here then...keeping your chairs warm." Fat Amy calls after you girls,
"You do that!"
"Way to go Fat Amy!"
The three of you follow as she speedily leads you past bustling, busy, people setting up for the show, to the usual rehearsal room;her make-up assistant in tow, trying vainly to retouch Beca's make-up.
"Okay uh time?" she asks aloud, posing the question to no one in particular. "Oh never mind I've got it..." she says glancing at her own watch like she just remembered it was there.
"We have fifty minutes left..." she sounds taken aback, but she quickly gets a hold of herself, "We can do this, uh C.R you're up...",
"The two of you, vocal warm-ups go!"
Stacie's looking at you imploringly, wanting you to tell Beca about your throat.
You shake your head vehemently,
"Coach, we have, some concerns over here..." Stacie says, ignoring you.
"Yeah-uh...what is it?" Beca asks distractedly, her one ear trained towards Cynthia Rose and what she's singing, her eyes are on the Script changes being pointed out to her by one of the Show writers, at the same time she's swatting at the make-up artist who hasn't let up on her face yet.
"It's nothing..." you say,
"It's not nothing, it's something...Tell her Chloe."
Beca finally has her full attention on the two of you. You're taking her in, she's looking thoroughly harassed, thoroughly worn out...the make-up artist is hard at work covering up the baggies under her eyes.
"Well, what is it?" she asks impatiently, looking between the two of you. Stacie nudges you and you roll your eyes whilst letting out a huff, but you do open your mouth (making up your mind) to tell Beca...
"Please wait," She holds a finger up and it effectively stops all activity going on around her, a hush falls over the room now that there's no other flurry of movement.
"Okay, We don't have enough time and I know it's my fault, but the least you two could do right now is to actually use it to get ready for the competition..." she says eerily calm, before she lets loose and starts shouting, "Now, stop wasting time and start your vocal exercises! I'll get to you next, Stace."
"I told you not to say anything..." you murmur to Stacie, "There's nothing she can do to help me right now, thanks for trying though..."
"Chloe! Stacie!" Beca shouts (you jump in surprise) you hear the accompanying sound of a palm hitting hard surface, "What the Hell? What did I just say, I said get to work...and not to waste time, that means No chit chat..."
You open your mouth to defend Stacie,
"No, no more talking...I'm splitting the two of you up. Chloe, step out, we won't get any work done with you in here..."
Your mouth drops open, astounded. The other two are looking at Beca and you, quite shocked themselves.
You close your mouth and step outside, you glance back, but her expression remains hard. Wow she really means business. The door closes softly behind you,
"What the fuck!" you say under your breath, what the hell was her problem.
She was the one who didn't fulfill her promise.
She was the one who turned up late.
She was the one who had been to hard to reach.
And she was the one accusing you of wasting her time? Fucking really?
Seriously who does she think she is...thinking she could easily waltz in and out of your good graces,
thinking she could go around treating you like shit and you would do nothing about it,
thinking she could so easily be forgiven for trampling on your heart,
Oh yeah right she was Beca fucking Mitchell; she could do whatever the hell she wanted to whoever she wanted, however she wanted it done.
As soon as you start thinking those thoughts, ranting (to yourself), you can't quite stop...every little thing that you used to push aside, all your little frustrations start coming to the surface.
twenty five minutes later
They start rushing, reminding the contestants to wrap-up their last minute preparations,
You overhear them calling Beca onstage, they send a runner to inform her.
Your anger hasn't quite disappeared, it's only slightly subdued by the quickly returning sense of helplessness, heightening your nerves, your fear.
The door swings open and Cynthia Rose and Stacie immediately go to you,
"Chloe...you have to tell her now."
Beca opens the door soon after, hurriedly beckoning you to come right in, you hesitate at the doorway.
"Chloe..." she calls softly coaxing, obviously having mellowed from her mood a while ago,
You aren't so happy with her right now, but she at least looks tame enough; looks like a reasonable enough person for you to be able to explain yourself to, to share your dire concerns with.
"Beca..." you begin, but once again you are interrupted,
"Miss Mitchell you are needed urgently on set.." a guy with a mohawk says,
"Now? I still have twenty-five more minutes on my watch..." Beca says, glancing briefly at her watch before her attention goes back to you.
"Fifteen minutes to go..." he says, showing the two of you his own watch "Your watch must be late."
"Oh shit...I didn't change my watch back... " she breathes, as she stops all her actions staring hard at you. You think you see a sliver of fear(of many other emotions) passing through her face, a slight falter of confidence, before she quickly gather herself together.
"Just give me...It's okay we still have time...I can fix this." Her eyes close now, trying to come up with a solution.
A cold wave of dread takes a hold of you, Oh god this was it...you were going on soon, and you have no options whatsoever.
You had been so worried about not being able to perform one last time that you hadn't realized that it was a probability that you would get sent home either way, because there was nothing to stop you from totally sucking on this performance.
Beca quickly gets on her phone "Anna hey we need you ASAP! Okay come to the room...can you be the one to warm Chloe up? Yeah, I know...I owe you. Thanks."
The others are called to wait in the wings, "Girls you have to follow..." the two of them only have eyes for you, you shrug helplessly motioning for them to go on.
"Okay the two of you we went over this, you'll be fine... Kick some ass for me." Beca says, putting either of her hands on their shoulders, pressing her head close to theirs.
The two of you are left there, Beca's staring into the almost empty corridor, she keeps checking the time (on her phone now) getting more antsy each second she doesn't see the familiar dip dyed blonde head of her Vocal coach.
You know she wouldn't leave you- at least- not until Anna arrived, but you want to tell her to just go ahead (like she so obviously wanted to.)
"Chloe don't worry...It's going to be alright..I've been keeping close tabs on your sessions with Anna, she told me just the other day that you were more than ready ...So are there any concerns or is there anything at all that I can do to help you right now-" she says finally looking you in the eye.
You feel oh so very grateful for the concern, you almost feel bad for all the spiteful thoughts going through your head a while ago (see she does care) until she continues talking " -'Cos if not I have to get going."
"No, It's fine." you say biting back everything you were planning to say as you plaster on a fake smile, "Go."
"That's my girl! What am I being so worried about of course you'll do well." you keep smiling until she leaves...
So yes, you're angry with her and that anger coupled with your disappointment combined with everything weighing you down; the rumours, Jesse showing up and taking Beca away from you, you could say that it all contributed to what felt like now what you know to be your worst performance ever.
Looking back you just knew it would turn out that way,
The entire time it just felt wrong, you felt wrong, the control, the effortless high notes weren't there like at all.
The last of Beca Mitchell's girls Chloe Beale,
Your palms are sweaty, throat feels tight, you clear it once, twice...the lump doesn't go away.
Even Anna-after hearing you- had begun to worry, asking why you hadn't come to her sooner. You saw the fear in her eyes, heard it in her tone even as she had wished you good luck.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
Your voice sounds too thin, too shaky for these normally easy to reach notes.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.
You brace yourself for the actual high notes,
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
It comes out pinched, You're inwardly shaking your head at how forced it sounds.
Your eyes are shut, not because you're feeling the song but because you're concentrating hard on holding your notes,
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
It feels like the longest three and some minutes of your life, And here it comes the bridge with the high note..
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
You take a sharp inhale in preparation,
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me doooown. You wince, that was harsh...your voice cracked sounding like some teenage boy going through puberty mixed with a dog howling.
You think you heard a gasp from the four chairs sounding suspiciously like Beca,
You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Your voice becomes wobbly now that your trying to stem everything, the pain in your throat, the shame.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
By the end of it, you're not sure who you're most disappointed with. You feel like you've single-handedly thrown your chance away, feeling that you proved Barb right after all.
You watch everything happening around you almost through a thick haze as Carson walks up the stage motioning you forward(he's patting your back comfortingly) to stand downstage with the cameras trained on you, filming your every reaction. You don't give them anything;your expression's pretty blank, you're only half paying attention to the comments, but they're all somewhere along the lines of:
"We all have our off days..."
"This wasn't your best performance but you can still make up for it."
"Sometimes the stress of the competition can get to you..."
Your minds being pretty random, not having any straight-forward line of thought...
You hope to God your family doesn't save this on the DVR. This isn't something you wanted to relive, but you're sure your cousin won't let you live it down. Wait, DVR, that's the least of your problems...think bigger, you're on a National televised show- no, not just that- a Internationally televised singing show where you just now sounded and performed like a complete amateur. Who are you kidding, there will always be a copy of this performance floating around on the internet, this performance will be attached to your name forever, will haunt you forever...what will your future grand-kids think, really grand kids you aren't thinking of your children first...they'll probably not even know what The Voice is...or maybe they'll rehash the show or keep it until it's like season 87 or something...
"I don't know exactly what happened," you hear Beca saying, as your mind tunes back in to what's currently happening around you, "but we all know of Chloe's singing prowess as seen from all of her earlier performances, remember when we first fell in love with her... the magic she brought in Eternal Flame and just the other week's Daydreamer. I hope the viewers keep this in mind when it comes time for voting..."
You can't stand to look her in the face so you focus elsewhere, soon Carson giving the signal for you to continue walking off-stage, you reach out your hands to the cheering audience half-heartedly.
"Chloe, what happened?!" says Beca who's quickly out of her chair and on her feet catching up to you as soon as you head into a commercial break, "You didn't hit that note you'd perfected during practice."
You're throat tightens at her general confusion, the disappointment lacing her tone. She's talking about that second practice ages ago one of the last ones she'd been there personally to oversee.
You can't bring it upon yourself to keep everything in if you stay talking to her any longer so you try not to give yourself away opting to remain curt, detached.
"I don't know. I'm just tired maybe. I think I'm coming down with a cold, or worse a sore throat. It hurts when I sing now," you say expressionless, blandly not bothering to raise your head to look at her.
"We have ENT specialist within call. I could have had Kimmy Jin call Doctor Gale over."
You know you had resolved to not say anything but Beca with her concern or you could say fake concern...it just does you in; shattering whatever resolve you had You can't really help the words escaping your mouth.
"So now you care..."
"Of course I care, I'm your friend." she replies almost automatically, her entire forehead's creased.
"You haven't been particularly friendly these days..." you mutter, but she still hears you, her eyes narrow she's immediately on the defensive,
"Right it's all on me, it's not like you don't come to me or contact me at all anymore unless it has something to do with rehearsals."
"Well it seems like I'm only good enough for you when Jesse's not around." you snap, she seems taken aback,
"What do you mean? It's not like that..." she starts to say, then she falls silent (seemingly gathering her thoughts) she breathes out heavily,
"What do you guys have against each other anyway? Okay fine, I know that you're being the good friend that you are hating on Jesse for my sake and I know it may be asking too much to give him a chance, but you both keep pulling at me and I just can't split myself to satisfy both of your clinginess. "
Her words are grating you on the inside, and your trying in vain to block her out. You're almost tempted to raise your hands to plug your ears.
"Can we just go back to the topic at hand here. Your voice, let's not talk about things that are not of importance. Severing personal from the professional. So just tell me what the hell happened. Was it the nerves, did you get thrown off by someone or something..."
You shake your head. Your eyes are screwed shut, you weren't going to cry- not now,
"THEN WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?" she roars, you jump and at the same time your eyes jerk open,
"Stop getting mad at me. I couldn't help it." you say, your surprised your voice isn't shaky,
"I'm not mad!" she says but the vein jumping around on her forehead says otherwise,
"You're shouting at me. If you didn't know, that's a sign that you're mad." Her eyes turn soft, but the worry lines don't quite go away.
"I'm frustrated, Chloe and worried."
"Yeah it could cost me votes, you could lose a girl." you say dully, you wonder how you could sound so calm, this was the beginning of the end of your big-break into stardom.
"I don't care about the votes, I care about you, your voice, what's happening to you and what you're going through. Because I'm your coach that's what I need to be worried about."
This time she shakes her head, now really sounding frustrated, looking imploringly into your eyes,
"And I wanted you to trust me with these kinds of things. You said we were friends and you couldn't trust me enough to tell me that you were having a hard time."
"I didn't want you to overreact." you say, though that was merely one concern amongst many,
"What?" she asks sounding incredulous,
"I was mad...I didn't want you to think I was weak, that I couldn't take it or make it without you...and I wanted to prove a point..."
"And what point was that?" now she just sounds plain confused, like she couldn't for the life of her understand how your mind worked.
"That I could take it, that I can make it even without you..."
"So what are you satisfied? Did you prove your point..." she asks her voice tight, like she was trying to reign in her anger, like she was trying to be oh so patient for your sake.
"No...I needed you, But when I did you weren't there I couldn't reach you...I tried to tell you a while ago..." you hear yourself saying, sounding so very vulnerable.
Her face clears up in understanding, turning shameful. She remembers what she did, how she sent you out.
"So it wasn't just today? How long has this been bothering you..."
"It's been getting worse..."
"Have you been taking care of your voice, keeping it rested...are you getting sufficient amount of rest. What about your diet what have you been eating lately..." she asks now being thorough in her questioning, trying to pinpoint what exactly could be causing your constant vocal troubles.
"Um..." She seems to get a lot from your short answer, she's coming to conclusions all by herself, shaking her head slowly in displeasure, showcasing her disapproval.
"Yeah...you never seem to eat on time, and you go into practice sometimes without proper warm-up..or hydration." now she's started she doesn't let up with her scolding, her berating... and it's making that overwhelming feeling of shame arise, you feel it spreading in your stomach, in your throat, behind your eyes.
"You seem to forget your health is what matters. Sure it's good to practice to improve one's self, but not that you compromise your freaking health, Chloe. You could have done permanent damage Chloe…What were you thinking?"
"Okay I wasn't thinking you, happy?" you shout, you push on completely disregarding the pain that follows, "That's what you want to hear, that I don't know how to take care of myself, that I'm irresponsible…" you say, not being able to hold it back any longer. You look away, breathing fiercely, biting at your trembling lip wishing for that action to stop it entirely from shaking.
You hear footsteps approaching, and you hurriedly try to compose yourself, try to look somewhat normal...you look up to find the same Mohawk dude from a while ago looking over in your general direction before he comes closer, hesitating, before Beca waves him over.
"What is it?"
"Miss Mitchell commercial break's almost over we'll be needing you back in your seat..."
You hear Beca's little groan of frustration,
"Okay I'll follow..." she says to him,
"Hey I want you to get a drink of water...calm down for a bit. We can resume this later..." and then she moves closer to you putting her hand on your arm slowly running along it's length, giving you chills (can she see the goosebumps erupting in it's wake) before reaching, taking your hand and squeezing it,
"Sorry." she says,
"I always feel like you're the one apologizing. But you're right, I should have gone to you-I trust you." you say squeezing back,
"I hope you know you can always trust me Chloe, I'll never judge you or at least I'll try my hardest not too, when it's not part of the whole being a judge on the show part." she says which makes you smile a little, "And I'm sorry I haven't been...more available, it's just now is a very confusing time for me with Jesse and you."
You get it- her dilemma, torn between conflicting duties: as your friend and as his girl... You had a similar dilemma on your part as well and more often than not you let your friend side trump your romantic side,
"I know you've been worried and stressed a lot lately that's why I gave you your space..." That's why I was okay with you trying to run away from it, but I hate that you had to run to him."
You know that Beca should be leaving by now, but right now it seems like the two of your exist outside of everything else going on...
"Can we please just be back to normal... Jesse will be leaving again so..." she trails off, and you should be wary of everything by now..in truth, you are; you don't allow for your head to come up with scenarios, to dream of things, to interpret what she had just said to mean anything other than what it was,
"You'll be needing me to fill up the space?"
"C'mon you know that you occupy a different space all together. We didn't talk for days and I missed you terribly."
The heart was a different matter. The heart was such a strong, persistent thing wasn't it, not quite ready to give up even in the most dire circumstances,
"Same here.." you say at once, "-for both." you clarify,
Then there's the flashing of the red lights signifying that they were going to go on air,
"So I gotta run, the directors gonna kill me, that's if my father doesn't get to me first. So if I don't turn up later...call the police tell them one of them did it..."
"Okay"
"Later alright we'll this sort this out..."
"Yeah...go.."
After you drink water, you head back out behind the stage area to watch the others do much better.
Cynthia Rose had sung Lil Wayne's How To Love killing it, her raspy vocals giving the song much more depth.
Fat Amy's Do What U Want was phenomenal, she really was a Little Monster.
Stacie opted to slow things down with Mariah Carey's Touch my Body.
Bumper Allan had sung, Cee Lo's Forget You
Kori had sung Amy Winehouse's Back to Black
Donald sang or rather rapped Can't Hold Us
Luke was currently singing Cough Syrup,
Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control, oh oh
These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum
Oh
If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down.
Life's too short to even care at all, oh, oh
I'm coming up now, coming up now out of the blue, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh, oh
If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
And so I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
Life's too short to even care at all, oh, oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control
If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
So I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
One more spoon of cough syrup now, whoa.
The next thing you know the show is over, your group of friends surround you,
"Chloe hey what's up?" Cynthia Rose asks,
"Are you okay...I mean obviously you're not but I'm just you know making sure..." Fat Amy rambles,
"What did Beca say..." Stacie demands, getting to the point.
"She said she'd take care of it...we'll discuss it later." you explain, and they all turn relieved. Yes, Beca would-could make it better, she had to...
"She'd take really great care of you, you mean" Fat Amy says slyly, you roll your eyes though your smile creeps in.
"I think it's completely unnecessary, you could be leaving soon..." Kori says, and you feel like that hit came out of nowhere. Where did Kori get off saying that...
"No one asked your opinion Ko-ri..." Stacie spits out,
It was the truth but it didn't make hearing it any easier... now it's pretty loud and clear...you can't believe it, tomorrow you could be leaving all of this, all of them.
"I'm just telling it how it is, Chloe might get sent home because of her poor performance and there's nothing Beca can do to stop it." Kori says easily.
So much for her support and friendship. (You hadn't been so close as of late but you were always friendly with each other.)
"What is your problem Kori? Why are you deliberately trying to be a bitch..." Stacie remarks,
"Yeah especially when Chloe needs to be comforted right now." Cynthia Rose says, clapping your back. Ooof that was rather enthusiastic,
"Chloe had this a long time coming...she was lucky those other times but now even sleeping around with the great Beca Mitchell can't get her out of this."
Your eyes widen, you can't believe you're hearing this...How dare she...
"I always suspected it but Barb was right after all...you guys confirmed it a while ago..." Stacie cuts across her,
"You don't know what you're talking about, so I'd better watch my mouth if I were you, you little sl-"
"Girls are you all waiting for me?" Beca says arriving, thankfully, to break the very terse moment.
"Yeah, the three of us are here for Chloe the other one can just... you know... piss off." Fat Amy says sounding truly menacing, Kori sneers before she starts leaving,
"Whatever, Good Luck getting out of this one." she says directly addressing you and a very semi-confused-mostly-irritated-looking Beca.
"You can go now..." Stacie says, dismissing her, motioning with her hand towards the exit.
"What's up with her?" Beca asks, frowning as she takes her eyes off of Kori's retreating figure.
"Doesn't even matter..." you say, not wanting for anything to provoke or upset Beca,
You were so damn tired of hearing and putting up with the same crap...but you were choosing instead to focus on the real pressing concern.
She doesn't quite let it go, her eyes remain probing, (but thankfully she's distracted) her phone starts ringing she checks the number, muttering a "finally", before raising a single finger for everyone to wait a moment. She moves away from the group before she proceeds to answer.
Minutes later she's still on the phone speaking urgently, for the most part her voice is controlled but later on she starts raising her voice,
"Doesn't sound so good..." Fat Amy mutters,
"You think?" Cynthia Rose snarks, still a bit on the edge from the whole unexpected Kori thing...
All this stress for nothing. It was just plain saddening that the fellow contestants couldn't get past the whole competition aspect of it, Why couldn't everyone just unite and help each other out.
"Who do you think she's arguing with..."you ask, after pulling away from your own thoughts, Please be Jesse, please be Jesse...
"Kimmy Jin. No you listen to me..." Drats
Beca wanders closer,
"I need you to contact Doctor Gail Abernathy-McKadden,-yes it's for Chloe… No, not tomorrow, not later you do it now-that's what I'm paying you for…You'll get it done…Okay, thanks- She hang up on me again…I guess I shouldn't have shouted at her."
Beca says, staring ather phone before she pockets it.
"Getting back to it, what did Kori say...why did-do all of you look so upset?"
You shrug not wanting to take up the topic any further, the three of them-however-continue to exchange glances, nudging one another before Cynthia Rose speaks up.
"You know girls be hatin', she brought up the topic of Chloe possibly leaving tomorrow..."
"And how it was a total waste of time to still get her checked up and stuff..." Fat Amy further supplies,
Beca's face doesn't change, but she shakes her head,
"I like to deal with issues as they come...and for now it's Chloe's health that's on the line here...I don't really care about the competition when there's something more important at stake."
There's slow clapping that follows Beca statement,
"Totally agree..."
"You heard that Kori...Boom" Fat Amy calls out even though Kori had long disappeared from their sight,
"Hmm.." Stacie murmurs, "Well moving on from Kori's PMS-ing...what's the plan coach?"
"Uh I'm awaiting Kimmi Jin's call confirming if she had successfully gotten us an appointment...we'll take it from there."
"How long will that take..." you ask seriously. Beca sighs not looking particularly confident,
"Probably just a few minutes...or not... my assistant hates me...But yeah Chloe has to stay, the rest of you go home."
There's plenty of noise that follows; a testament to their extreme disagreement with Beca's instructions. Beca, however, continues unfazed.
"Get a good night's sleep...we still have tomorrow...then Live Rounds are back to the old schedule on Monday. Girls, look, I'm sorry to break the whole Chloe support team up... but we don't want the whole group to be exhausted tomorrow, do we?"
They're the picture of steadfast loyalty; stubborn, determined, arms crossed.
"What you can't make us..."
"Actually that's an order..."
"So who's going with Chloe..."
Ten minutes later...
Beca's standing outside a waiting room with you. She called in Kimmy Jin again and asked nicely for her to push her meetings for that day to a later time or early tomorrow…
It turns out Kimmy Jin's pretty efficient when the time calls for it.
"It'll be okay Chloe…"
"You didn't have to be the one to accompany me...I know you're exhausted."
Beca just slowly shakes her head.
"Of course you need someone with you now, Aubrey's not here and the others couldn't come so I guess I'll have to do." She gives you her hanky and you proceed to dab at your eyes.(somewhere along the wait you'd started becoming emotional, but the tears you think it's part of the whole being sick thing...you don't quite know how it got there.)
"Only because you ordered them to go home..." you say, hiccups lacing your sentence.
"Yeah, and because I'm remarkably getting through to my assistant...can you believe today-of all days- she actually does what she's asked...so I'm all yours for the taking..." she says sounding so jubilant and excited; it doesn't quite fit the moment...and yet you can't help feeling amused.
"Just my luck," you say wryly. Her eyes narrow,
"Hey, I'll let you know I'm quite a catch, ask anyone." she says,
"You are full of yourself sometimes." you say unsmiling, but she's smirking knowing you and your attempts to stop yourself from laughing so well now,
"I'm just reiterating what all the magazine articles list of 100 top beautiful, sexiest women, plus I'm smart too. The total package." she says so seriously that it does finally make you laugh aloud,
"Yeah, it's full of shit." you get out amidst your unflattering snorting,
"Maybe I should've let you go alone."she says now seeming truly offended.
You halt your laughter and try in vain to school your features,
"I was kidding…Yeah fine, your perfect. Anyone who ever didn't fall in love with you is seriously deranged." you say oh-so-mockinlgy, she rolls her eyes but smiles cockily,
"You got that right. Wait, are you admitting something about yourself," she says, proceeding to wriggle both her eyebrows.
"Uh what do you mean?"you ask, a little bit distracted by how insanely annoyingly cute that action is.
"You just said that whoever isn't in love with me is seriously deranged." Her smirk grows more pronounced. You feel yourself get more conscious.
You had just unknowingly admitted you were in love with her...did she make the connection...No of course not...
"Yes…and?"
"So you're admitting your crazy. I knew it" Crazy for you. Okay no she didn't get it…
"You're crazy…" you return feebly, and her smile actually widens further...
"That I am, but you're the one who's going to see a doctor, not me" she says cheekily, and you bite back.
"The doctor's an ENT specialist to fix my vocal chords. It's not to question my sanity."
"Well, Doctor Gale hates labels. She dallies in both, amongst other things. She isn't the most traditional of doctor's." she says and you await her normal tell-tale amusement to shine through but she looks purely serious. She looks almost unsure...
"You're letting a quack doctor touch my instrument?" you ask outraged, but then back is her infuriating smile...that you would totally smack off her face if you weren't so tempted to plant one on her.
"Yeah, I guess I am sort of crazy. No, kidding aside Chloe, Doctor Gale is the best. She'll know what to do and we can worry about how we'll work on getting you better."
The way Beca painted her was pretty tame to what you actually encountered.
Doctor Gail, blonde, beautiful, kinda cooky, tons of inappropriate language. She wasn't like any doctor you had ever encountered before.
She makes you sing out some notes, listening intently.
"You ever heard how cats sound when they're mating?" you freeze and almost don't reply.
"Uh no...why does it sound like that?" you do get out after a pause.
"No, but you know that crazy weird embarrassing twinge you get when you hear something like that...or like when I don't know have you maybe walked in on your parents doing it?"
"Ugh No.." you shudder involuntarily,
"Yup that was it exactly...so what I figure is that your singing voice is leaving the chest register and moving towards the middle register...and there's some notes missing..."
"Open up your mouth..." she asks, brandishing a long lethal-looking metal instrument,
"What you'll just stick it in?" you all but murmur, (afraid that if you open your mouth further she'll do so.)
"That's what she said..." she chuckles, while you remain unamused, she clears her throat and rearranges her expression. "No this is my handy flashlight,"
She shines the flashlight down your throat...she makes some tutting noises while peering down there..."okay so um from here I can see your throat is severely inflamed and that could mean a lot of things. It could be something as minor as a sore throat or it could be much worse..." She quickly retracts the flashlight,
"So how does one determine if it's you know-" you gulp, "much worse."
"I could try a scope; it's where I'll put a camera either through the mouth or nose, which can take video of the vocal cords and the surrounding area to see what's going on," she says.
"Wow that kinda sounds uncomfortable..."
"Nah, it won't be more or less uncomfortable as say...having anal sex...you know putting something where it's not supposed to go, but it's bearable enough once you've adjusted..."
"Okay...Um...that's a colorful way of putting it."
"but right now you don't really have to worry, your throat is coated with mucus and there's too much swelling, I won't be able to get a good look. I'll recommend to um go easy on the group performance tomorrow and I'll see you right afterwards. That's if you, hopefully, get in ."
"Thanks?"
"Don't mention it buh-bye."
"That was the weirdest Doctor's appointment I've ever had in my whole life." you say to Beca once you get out,
"Yeah she's sort of a loon but you know in a genius sorta way...but yeah she spouts some seriously inappropriate stuff...but uh so what's up? What has to be done?"
"She did some tests. I'll have to do a follow up tomorrow…"
I was so tempted to put everything down all at once, but I figure you guys need a breather (it feels like there's so much happening)
Keep a look out for the next chapter...this one I swear is the one with the you-know-what.
Lemme know what you think, reviews-as always- are much appreciated.
