Morgana shuddered, the name washing over her. The only clear word she heard through all the distorted sounds that filled her mind. Merlin. She twisted and felt a soft hand on her forehead. And pure power rushed through her. Merlin's power. Igniting every bone, every nerve on her skin and in her body. Everything went hot as if she was laying on open flames that licked at her sides and her legs and her face and everything until the heat engulfed her body whole. Her eyes shot open.

The first thing Morgana saw was blue eyes. The same blue of the sky right before the sun starts to set. The same blue of the glittering waters of Avalon lapping against the shore. The same blue that bored into her soul through all the feasts and banquets and lies she knew he knew. Full of knowledge and power. The same blue she saw in the eyes of the old man who always seemed to be one step ahead of her. The colors merged and it became the same blue that looked at her, almost pityingly as he sliced through her skin like it was nothing but paper. This is no mortal blade.

Morgana screams. She jerked up because she had to get away away away from the blue and red and gold of Emrys and Camelot and—

He was gone. Suddenly there were warm brown eyes and brown hands holding her down and sweet nothings whispering in her ears and it's ok, Morgana. Calm down. It's just me.

But she couldn't calm down because all she could see was the bronze crown atop black curls on her throne. On Morgana's throne. She pulled away, thrashing against the skin on skin and the bright colors that took her breath away.

Morgana wrapped her fingers around the soft skin and dug her nails into it, satisfied when she heard a startled yelp. She pulled her fingers away. Her nails were stained red.

Morgana turned and launched herself to her feet and thrust her hands out, calling upon all the energy that she knew ran through her veins. Nothing happened. Morgana spoke, the spells coming naturally to her lips but the air remained still and nothing happened. A hand landed on her shoulder and she screamed. She turned and yanked at it and stumbled back. Her vision was a mess of colors and the blood that roared in her ears was too loud and she couldn't hear and feel anything beyond the—

-0-o-0-

The moment Morgana screamed, Elyan pulled Merlin out. He resisted at first, startled by the reaction, and tried to calm her but then she jerked away and Elyan easily dragged Merlin out, shutting the door behind him. He prayed that none of the other people at the shelter could hear the scream.

Merlin gasped out, whirling back to face the shelter, but Elyan didn't stop until they were back on the street outside.

"Oh my god. What happened? Did I scare her or-?" Merlin's words tumbled out, his face horrified.

Elyan quickly reassured him. "No. No. You didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I should have warned you before. Morgana's a little off the edge. She's not really comfortable around new people. I thought she was getting better but I guess not. I'm so sorry. I should've told you."

Merlin glanced back at the shelter, his gaze worried. "That would have been nice. Maybe next time you could introduce me when she's awake?"

Elyan swallowed the embarrassment rising in his chest. "Yeah. That would've been smart. We should let her calm down a bit and return later. Do you want to take a walk?"

Merlin pursed his lips carefully and nodded, his shoulders still tense. "Yeah, sure. That would be better."

Elyan led him down the street. They were silent for a moment before Merlin spoke up. "I know it's not my place to ask but I was wondering, where did you grow up? On the streets? Or did you recently become homeless? You don't have to answer, obviously, I was just wondering but no pressure if you–"

"You're rambling, Merlin." Elyan chuckled as Merlin snapped his mouth shut, cheeks flushing red. "It's kind of complicated. We just recently became homeless. My friends and I lived in this town. It is a while away. You probably have never heard of it. It was amazing. Gwen, Leon, Morgana, and I were there plus a few other friends that you didn't get to meet today. Gwen is my sister and we both grew up with Leon. Morgana and her brother were also around but we only got close to them in our late twenties. There were also three other guys that only moved into the town when we were all older."

Merlin gave a bitter-sweet smile. "That must have been nice. To grow up surrounded by so many friends."

You were there too, Elyan thought, hating that he couldn't say it out loud. "It was nice. There was a ninth member of our group, actually. He came when he was in his early twenties. His mother lived in another kingdom, I mean, country. Not a kingdom. He easily fit into the group. I think he really was the reason half of these people stayed and didn't leave the town. We were all so close. I mean there were rivalries and we did fight but we all loved each other one way or another."

But it fell apart. We were all alone. Just the nine of us. And there was an accident and we ended up losing our homes. It's hard to explain but long story short, we had to go somewhere else. To another place. Another world. This town we used to live in was very isolated. Clearly, since I don't know anything. But we were forced to come here. And it's been terrifying but the eight of us still have each other."

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows. "Eight? I thought there were nine of you?"

Elyan cursed under his breath. "Uh, yeah. There was. This ninth person though, he… he didn't make it. He's not dead or anything it's just hard to explain."

Elyan could tell that Merlin wanted to pry further and Elyan was honestly panicking because his story probably made no sense. Merlin's voice was quiet. "Do you miss him? This ninth person?"

Elyan blinked, startled at the question. "'Do I miss him?'" Elyan glanced over at Merlin. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek, his eyes locked on the sidewalk ahead of him. "Yeah. I do. So much. We're all hoping that maybe one day he'll come back to us. Without him the group is not really complete, you know?"

"I wish I did. I mean clearly, you're leaving a lot of the story out and that's fine. But I've never really had any friends like that. Friends to grow up with." Merlin hesitated as if he was considering his next words. "I move around a lot. Never really stayed in one place for over a couple of years. I've been here for five years and I'm actually thinking about moving soon."

"Have you ever thought that you don't make any real friends to be with because you keep moving around?" Elyan said, his heart pounding at the thought of Merlin leaving before he could remember them.

"I know. It's just… it's complicated. My life isn't really normal and I can't afford to drag other people in it."

"Maybe you should just give them a chance." Elyan's mind was racing. Did Merlin know that he had magic? That he was immortal? Is that why he feels like he can't let anyone in?

"You don't understand, Elyan. It's not simple. Maybe one day I can tell you. We can tell each other the secrets we're obviously both keeping." Merlin finally looked at Elyan, his blue eyes shining with something he couldn't quite place.

"Yeah. Maybe one day we can."

-0-o-0-

Leon carefully wrapped the bandage around Gwen's arm. Morgana's nails had dug in hard enough to break the skin and cause blood to bubble to the surface. Gwen glanced over at Morgana, her heart involuntary clenching at the sight. Leon had knocked Morgana out after she had hurt Gwen and was thrashing about. They had then tied her to the bed. It was clear that Morgana's magic was gone but she was not going to stay still unless she was held down.

Leon quickly tied off the bandage and then moved to pack up the first-aid kit. Gwen sighed, collapsing onto the chair beside the bed. "What do we do?"

Leon studied Morgana before looking at Gwen again. "I don't know. We're lucky Morgana doesn't have her magic or we would be screwed. We have to make sure that when she wakes up again, only one person is there. If she gets overwhelmed again then I don't know."

Leon trailed off. Gwen reached out to press her fingers to the growing bump on Morgana's head. "I'll be here."

"I don't think that's a good idea. If she manages to escape the bonds then—"

"She won't. But if she does, I'll have Percy by the door or something to help. Just let me try to talk to her." Gwen looked at Leon, pleading.

"Let's wait until the other's get back. Hopefully, Morgana doesn't wake up anytime soon." Leon got up and left without another word, leaving Gwen alone.

Gwen sighed, dropping her head in her hands. After a while, she spoke. "I still care about you, you know. I probably shouldn't. Not after everything you did to me. To Arthur. To Camelot. You were just an amazing woman. You were the only person I knew that fought back against Uther and I never for a second would've thought that you would eventually become worse." Gwen gave a bitter chuckle. "Like father, like daughter. You have wildly different beliefs but other than that you both were no different."

Gwen swallowed roughly, trying her hardest not to break down in tears. "There was a time that I would've done anything for you. I would've followed you to the ends of the earth. It's a shame that growing up like how you did twisted you into this bitter person full of such hatred. I can't even recognize you anymore."

Gwen's voice cracked at the last word. She took in a deep breath but it did nothing to fight off the war waging her heart. "I want to trust you. I want it so bad. But I can't– I won't make the same mistake. The only reason we're doing this is to get Merlin back. That's all that matters. That's all that will ever matter."

And Gwen wished with all her heart that she could believe her own words. But she knew that no matter what she told herself, she would never truly hate Morgana.

-0-o-0-

Arthur was on his seventh glass of vodka when Elyan came skidding into the pub. It was nearing 5:00 and the sun was just starting to creep towards the horizon. Lancelot had long given up trying to keep Arthur sober and Gwaine and Percival were quickly put to work as more people started to flood the bar.

"Morgana's awake. I got Merlin to leave, saying that maybe it was best if he dropped by later. Gwen and Leon are back there alone."

Arthur barely registered the words as he raised his glass up in a mock toast. "To Gwen and Leon. The best of us all."

Elyan grabbed the glass from his hand and sniffed it. "Jesus, Arthur. What are you doing? Are you drunk?"

Arthur flashed Elyan a dopey smile. "What? Don't be ridiculous, Elyan. I'm perfectly sober. Top-notch you might say. Drunk is the furthest thing that I could be."

Elyan groaned, glancing around. "Where the hell are the others. Lancelot?"

Elyan called, slipping over to the other side of the pub. Arthur reached over and grabbed another glass from behind the counter to refill his vodka. He spilled nearly half the bottle trying to pour it. He was just about to drink it when Elyan appeared over him and stole the alcohol again. "No. No more vodka. How many glasses have you had?"

Arthur snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. I have perfect vision. I don't need glasses. Merlin probably doesn't either but he would look great in glasses, don't you think?"

"What? Merlin? Oh my god." Elyan yanked Arthur up. "Come on. We're going home. The others will come back later."

Arthur yanked himself back. "No. I have to stay here. Merlin is going to meet me here, remember?"

"No, he's not, Arthur. Merlin's not here. Now, let's go home." Elyan dragged Arthur through the crowd.

Arthur tripped over his feet, complaining. "No. Merlin's going to think I didn't wait for him. I can't leave."

Elyan ignored him and pushed him outside into the chilly air. Arthur glanced down the road and his eyes caught on a man leaned against the street light on the other side of the road. He was on his phone but before Arthur could call out, Elyan had pushed him along. Arthur caught a quick last look over his shoulder. And in that flash a second, the man looked up. And even through the setting sun and bustling people, all Arthur could see was blue.

Percival rearranged the bottles in front of him for the third time, bored out of his mind. Gwaine was on the other side of the pub since they had quickly realized that they couldn't get any work done together. Percival hated that he had to be the responsible one.

"Can I get an Old Fashioned?"

Percival's head shot up at the familiar voice. Merlin was leaning against the counter. His hair was tousled and dressed in a dark leather jacket. Percival had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying Merlin's name.

"I haven't seen you here before. Are you a newcomer?" Percival fought to keep his voice steady and his face impassive.

Merlin chuckled. "Yeah. I usually go to the pub that's down by Laudon Square."

Percival turned to make his drink. "Oh? Why the change?"

Merlin just hummed, eyeing around the pub. "I'm not sure actually. I just came here. Like something was waiting for me here. It just felt right. For whatever reason."

Percival slid the drink to Merlin, pocketing the money that Merlin gave in return. "Well. I hope whatever that feeling is, it doesn't leave."

Merlin stared up at Percival with an unreadable expression. "Yeah. Me too."

-0-o-0-

Her vision was dark. She stepped forward slowly, watching as her surroundings faded into a very familiar throne room. Arthur was standing in front of his throne, his head held high. The golden crown that sat upon his golden head shone in the golden light. He was dressed in his usual red cape and his cheeks were flushed. The flashing colors of Camelot sent blood curdling in her veins.

Morgana watched, helpless, as the doors swung open, revealing Guinevere, in all her queenly glory. With her purple dress and soft smile and curling hair, she was striding forward to take a seat on Morgana's throne. She didn't make it all the way through. She instead stopped directly in front of Morgana and watched her. Her usually warm and sparkling brown eyes were filled with sadness.

There was a time that I would've done anything for you. I would've followed you to the ends of the earth. It's a shame that growing up like how you did twisted you into this bitter person full of such hatred. I can't even recognize you anymore.

The words seemed to echo from everywhere rather than from Gwen's mouth. But Morgana would recognize her voice anywhere. Her soft, soft voice cracking with a type of grief Morgana knew very well. I won't make the same mistake.

Gwen stepped forward and passed right through Morgana as if she wasn't even there. Morgana turned around in time to see Arthur place another golden crown atop her head. Gwen sat down gracefully, her chin raised up high.

The only reason we're doing this is to get Merlin back.

The crowd around her burst into applause and Gwen's gaze bored into Morgana. Stripping her to her bones. That's all that matters.

Morgana suddenly felt all the anger drain from her. She felt more vulnerable than ever. The room seemed to spin and everything was closing in on her until all she could see was the dark look in the Queen's eyes.

That's all that will ever matter.

Morgana startled as her vision shifted into something different. The same throne room, the same colors. Different occasion. Arthur was again at the front but when Morgana turned to see who was entering, it wasn't Gwen. It was Merlin.

Merlin with his blue eyes. He was draped in a thick blue cloak. His jaw was tensed and his back was straight. Morgana trembled as she realized what this was.

Merlin strode right past her, not bothering to stop or even look at her. He approached Arthur and dropped to one knee. Morgana couldn't hear what Arthur said over her heart pounding in her ears but he placed a silver circlet on his head and it became painfully obvious.

Merlin turned and cupped his hands to his mouth. His eyes flooded a molten gold that chilled Morgana to the core. A bright blue butterfly emerged, flapping its flimsy wings as it twirled in the air. Merlin looked up, his golden eyes locking with hers. Golden eyes beside a golden crown in a now golden kingdom.

Merlin's lips curled into a cruel smile. "It's a shame, Morgana. All of this could have been yours. You could have been free."

Merlin walked towards her slowly. He reached up and took the silver circlet off his head and placed it on hers. The weight was heavy for such a small crown. Merlin leaned closer. "Don't ever forget who I am, Morgana. For I am your destiny."

His blue-gold eyes never left hers. "And I am your doom."

Morgana jerked up, startled into yell when she realized her hands were pinned to the bed. All she could see was golden eyes and blue butterflies and they were free

A scream tore from her throat and it seemed like all the air was sucked from her lungs and she couldn't possibly manage to breathe. Her vision was suddenly obscured by dark curls that carefully pushed her down.

"Hey. Hey. Shhh. It's just me, Morgana. It's Gwen." My lady! My lady, what's the matter? It's all right, it's alright. I'm here. I'm here. There's nothing to be frightened of.

Morgana was suddenly crying at the sudden flashback. She could remember the times when she would wake up terrified and Gwen would always be right there to calm her. Before Morgana knew of her magic. Before Merlin knew of her magic. Before Gwen was after her throne. Before their lives turned upside down and inside out. Back when everything was okay. And Morgana ached.

-0-o-0-