Author's Note: So I pretty much explained what went down with my computer in the last Author's Note. And like I said-I'm trying to piece everything together again.

But never mind that I have to say a few things (I'll try to keep it short)

First and foremost I am so very overwhelmed and thankful to each one of you for all the Follows, Favorites and the PM's and especially for just the support-for the patience sticking it out with my dumb old story. I know it's taken a while "trying to figure things out" but here I finally have something to show for it.

So this is actually one really long chapter that I divided into three; I was considering posting the way it was 17000+ words so far- but I wanted to give you guys this-I think I've kept you waiting long enough. I'll load them within a few days of the other.

End of speech-yes that was long sorry.

Shout out to nii4itu and to my awesome Beta waatp-I couldn't get this far without you. Thanks


Part 1

"We have for one of our group numbers; Kori Stevens, Cynthia Rose and Luke Paxton singing Tainted Love with Coach Beca Mitchell." Carson's saying.

The version's all slow and drawn out, almost jazz-like ... the staging is set so the three girls are surrounding Luke. They flank Luke with their hands placed all over him, his chest, his shoulder, as if they were trying to lay claim. Luke starts out the singing; crooning as he snaps his fingers in time to the music.

Sometimes, I feel I've got to ... *snap snap*

Run away

I've got to ... *snap snap*

Get away

Then the tempo picks up, the audience can feel the beat change as the singers prepare for the main part of the song.

From the pain you drive into the heart of me

And the love we share

Seems to go nowhere

I've lost my light

For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night

Kori takes over with Cynthia Rose backing her up.

Once I ran to you (I ran)

Now I run from you

This tainted love you've given

I give you all a boy could give you

Take my tears and that's not nearly all

Tainted love (Ooh)

Tainted love

Then Beca's singing, stepping out on the stage in front of Luke, walking away from him as the other girls follow.

Now I know I've got to

Run away

I've got to

Get away

You don't really want any more from me

To make things right

You need someone to hold you tight

And you think love is to pray

But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Cynthia Rose starts this time Kori takes the backing vocals. Luke walks up to them while they ignore him.

Once I ran to you (I ran)

Now I run from you

This tainted love you've given

I give you all a boy could give you

Take my tears and that's not nearly all

Tainted love (Ooh)

Tainted love

Luke easily turns Beca towards him and then Beca and he begin to sing together.

Don't touch me please

I cannot stand the way you tease

I love you though you hurt me so

But now I'm gonna pack my things and go

Touch me baby, tainted love

Touch me baby, tainted love

Touch me baby, tainted love

Touch me baby, tainted love

Beca pulls away from Luke as the three girls fall in line with one another and they sing.

Once I ran to you (I ran)

Now I run from you

This tainted love you've given

I give you all a boy could give you

Take my tears and that's not nearly all

Luke sings strongly while the girls back him up. They begin to back into the dark shadows of the stage, melting into the backdrop and exiting as they sing.

Tainted love (Beca Ooh's)

Tainted love (Cynthia Rose Ooh's)

Tainted love (Kori Ooh's)

Then to finish the song, they sing together.

Tainted love

"When The Voice comes back we'll have Chloe Beale taking the stage." The announcement rings out.


The lights dim in the studios, giving permission for simultaneous chatter to start throughout the studio.

You breathe sure and slow, you're all set.

You are waiting in the wings, already warmed up. The nerves are there but you are getting used to them now. You have done everything you can to prepare for this, given the current circumstances. Your voice still isn't at its strongest but it is the best it has been for a while and you can feel the strength returning with each passing hour.

It's strong enough not to waiver, not to break. The methods Anna has been teaching you have seen you take it easy; you can no longer feel the strain or feel the need to push to be heard.

You have worked your butt off for this and you deserve to be here. You feel confident that you will do well. You are getting yourself into the zone where you push everything else that has happened aside for the time being and you find yourself focusing on the stage.

"Three minutes till we're back on. You ready Chloe?" Benji asks, as he walks by offstage where you're alone in your own space, hidden, seated far away from everyone else, from the judges and from the other contestants. The distance helps to keep you calm, it's one of the techniques you've been taught and it has served you well to remember that meditating and time out is all it takes.

"Yeah okay ..." You say, offering a little smile. He stops, stares at you for a second before he walks up to you.

"Are you alright, is there anything I can do?" He asks, before crouching down on his haunches. Benji was such a dear and he'd been extra attentive as of late; but ever since he found you in the closet, he'd been cautious; treating you like some injured little creature ... you'd be annoyed if you didn't appreciate it wholly.

"I'm totally okay ... just going through everything in my head." You speak quietly, still determined not to overstrain your voice any more than necessary.

"I'm sure you've done that a million times ... I promise you, you've got this Chloe, you'll be awesome."

"And you know this ... how?" You ask, conscious of the little tremble as you voice your question, giving away that little slip of fear or worry; you aren't sure what it is but it's little and it's still there.

"Because you always are ..." He says, and you smile a little at his blushing.

"From anyone else, I'd give them crap for saying that but coming from you ... that's really sweet thanks, Benji ... thanks for everything ..." You say, grinning before you pull him in for a quick hug.

"No problemo." He smiles once you let go.

"Is everything alright here?" You hear Beca speak and you see her standing right there. You inhale sharply as you find your heartbeat is gathering speed for an all too different reason. She's stares at you, her deep blue eyes penetrating your brain.

You feign disinterest, not willing, not quite ready to acknowledge her presence just yet.

"Benji, you mind if I steal Chloe for a moment?" Beca asks but she is looking at you. You are still not ready to meet her in the eye.

"Uh?" Benji hesitates, looking between the two of you.

You nod, showing him that it was okay. Benji hugs the clipboard to his chest and awkwardly takes his cue to leave.

"So ... um ... I'm sorry. I know you don't want for anyone, especially me, to interrupt your pre-stage meditations ... but I had to see you ... I wanted to wish you well-" Beca says.

"-Beca, stop. Please just stop." You interrupt her, you can't handle this at the moment, you are about to go on stage, and you have only just about got your nerves under control.

She backs away from you, hands raised in mock surrender and you hear your cue to take your position. You cast an eye over your shoulder as you stand on the taped cross on the stage. You can't read her expression as she moves to take her spot at the front of the platform.

"We have Chloe Beale performing Stacie Orrico's 'Stuck'." You look out to the audience but see nothing but bright lights. The crowd hushes as the music begins.

I can't get out of bed today

Or get you off my mind

I just can't seem to find a way

To leave the love behind

I ain't trippin

I'm just missing you

You know what I'm saying

You know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string

Why you make me cry?

I tried to give you everything

But you just gave me lies

As you sing, the little slivers of fear leave you and you catapult yourself back to the events and all the drama that had transpired over the past few days.


You barely remember leaving the studios three nights ago; you vaguely recollect getting into a car and slipping onto the spacious back seat. You spend the entire ride to your place in a haze; you're drifting in and out of your numbed silence, speaking only to give little directions.

All throughout the ride, Benji; your car buddy for the night, attempts to initiate conversation, to get down to what happened but it's rather pointless and pretty much entirely one sided, your reaction's and your speech is limited to sounds posing as actual words, your actions are mere shrugs.

"How's therapy going, I heard that the vocal nodules ... that's what you have right, vocal nodules?"

"Mhm." You say.

"I heard that it can still be relieved, as long as you opt to not abuse your vocal chords any more, and take other healthy measures ...?"

"Ffmrf."

"Anna's a really good vocal coach, but I'm not sure I've ever heard her doing vocal therapy, is she any good?"

"Uhuh." You force a smile.

"That's good ... how was your first session?"

You move your hand in a "so-so" motion.

His questions are all harmless, and safe, you really don't mind him talking as it's a distraction from your innermost thoughts. But then his questions gets closer and closer to what you're so desperately trying to avoid thinking about.

"Can I ask what were you doing in the janitor's closet?" He asked gently, raising his left eyebrow at you to soften the question.

And you refuse to go there because confronting everything will let you feel it all over again tenfold; the anger, the hate, the loneliness, the confusion, then the desperation, longing and abandonment. It was a glimpse into what you could have had; it was a hope that you couldn't allow yourself to have. Not if you wanted to continue being in the competition, not if you wanted to maintain your best friend status with Beca.

"Did you get locked in? Or get lost or something?"

You sigh when he doesn't let up, doesn't catch on to your mood.

"Did Beca have something to do with this ... with you being like this?" He presses on.

You glance at him; you open your mouth to say something, anything that'll stop all the questions. Something along the lines of: "Please leave me alone." or maybe just a simple "SHUT UP!"

But you close your mouth and continue to just look at him for a long time; he starts to grow uneasy and breaks the stare first. He finally seems to get it. He stares out of the window, finally quiet.

A couple of minutes pass by just like that and you watch the buildings and the scenery become more familiar.

Instead of comfort now the silence is causing everything to echo around in your head. "Did Beca have something to do with this … with you being like this?" You're surprised yourself when you break your own silence.

"You could say that ..." You get it out loudly enough. Benji is startled out of his own window watching.

"Sorry, what?"

"You could say that ... it's my answer to the last of your many questions."

"Sorry. I did it again, didn't I? I'm really sorry-"

"-Stop saying you're sorry! I am so fucking sick of it!" You find yourself shouting, not knowing where that sudden surge of anger came from or really, just not being able to rein it in, to control it any longer. You're taking short little breaths after to calm yourself down, to steady your now sweaty, shaky palms.

Benji struggles to right himself up; he's sprawled on the floor having jumped away violently to protect himself from your wrath.

"Um ..." He's thoroughly shocked and at a loss for words. You offer your hand to help him up.

He takes it but he's keen on maintaining his distance; taking the seat closest to the window, the furthest away from you.

"It's all good. Sorry about that outburst ... it wasn't really meant for you ... that was just a backlash. Thanks for the concern, really Benji, but would ... would it be okay if we just continue this ride not talking ..." You see his face fall and you add more words. "Can we just talk about ... anything else ...?"

You pause for a second thinking of a topic of conversation (that was far away from anything The Voice related) that would be interesting enough to engage Benji and keep you sufficiently distracted. And then like lightning, an idea strikes you.

"What are your thoughts for the upcoming Star Wars film?" His eyes light up, and you know you've struck gold; it'll be enough to get Benji talking for the rest of the ride.

"Well I'm excited for this promo they had where they encouraged fans to send in some videos and the best would get to actually be in the movie ..."

"Let me guess you sent one in ..."

"Of course!" he says looking almost offended anyone would ever doubt that he hadn't.

"I think I've heard of that promo before ... oh yeah, I saw it in one of the Big Bang Theory episodes ... Howard sent one in. So what did you do in your video? Did you dress up?"

"Nope, I did my super up close magic ..." He says, bumping his fists together before flourishing his hands grandly then taking out a piece of cloth from his coat sleeve then shaking it, letting little petals fall out, and then he pulls out an actual flower.

"Wow." You comment. "That's actually really good."

"Wait for ze grand finale ... Tada!" He shakes out his hand but nothing comes out. "No, wait ... TADA!" He waves his hands and then stops, opens up his coat and checks his inside pockets, then starts rummaging through it revealing a little hidden compartment from where he's taking out little knick-knacks in the process ... rings, a coin, a wallet.

"Huh! I must've left the bird in the other jacket ..."

"How long do you usually keep it in there ...?" You ask.

"A magician never reveals the secret, the little complexities to his tricks ..."

"You should if it concerns animal rights ..."

"Hey, I'll let you know I take good care of my bird!" Benji says loudly and it's your turn to be stunned into silence.

"I keep it clean, I wash it when I can, I try not to overwork it. And I don't keep it confined for too long ... it only stays there for the duration of the session when it's being used for like five minutes tops. If it were up to me, I'd let my bird loose, I'd let it out freely ... for everyone to see."

You'd always found it amusing whenever Benji got into his little impassioned speeches but this was a whole new level of ... you can't even breathe with the laughter you're holding in.

"Good to know your proud of it son, we've all felt that way at one point or another." The driver says, and Benji colours, realizing what he'd said and how he said it and how it could be misinterpreted. "But uh, we're here ..."

You finally burst out laughing, that was pure gold. Benji gets out and quickly moves to your side of the door and opens it.

"Loud and proud of your bird-tending skills eh Benji?" You tease, and he smiles and rolls his eyes. "That was pure gold, I tell you!" You continue to let out little laughs, before you get out and give him a friendly hug.

"I'm glad I could make you smile and laugh again even if it's at my expense ..." He says when he pulls back. You continue to laugh, and he joins in for a while but then suddenly turns serious "... it's the least I could do to make up for my insensitivity a while ago." He says and that sobers you up a bit, letting your thoughts stray back to what happened, still you let the half-smile remain.

"Well. I am really glad for your friendship, thank you for everything; the ride, the little talks, the concern, the patience and even for the unintended comedic moment. I appreciate it, really."

He smiles in return before getting back in the car, sending a little wave your way before slamming the door.

"See ya Benji." You wave back and watch as the car pulls away.


The car had pulled up and dropped you off right outside the house and you see several familiar silhouettes by your window. You almost groan out loud. You'd almost forgotten you'd invited the girls over. Funny, they got there earlier than you.

You are so not in the mood to talk, let alone entertain anyone right now. Never mind that these are your people - your friends - you want to keep everything that happened to yourself, the last thing you want is for them to over analyse every single word spoken, every moment ... you don't want to relive that event.

It's too confusing. It's too frustrating. It's too heart breaking.

But you don't want to kick them out either, the best solution you could come up with; just pretend everything's normal, play along, do the normal hangout things, gossip for a bit, have a few drinks, have some laughs then tell them you weren't feeling well and had to retire early to sleep. They'd understand, knowing of your condition and Beca's insistence that you get plenty of rest.

You're clambering up the steps when the front door bursts open. All of them are there, even Aubrey. They usher you quickly up the stairs and into your apartment.

(You were wondering how they had gotten in; you had even considered the idea that perhaps Stacie had used one of her nail tools to pick the lock.)

But, apparently Aubrey had skipped out on work that day; she left because she didn't want to bump into her father who was overseeing the case she was supposed to be working on. (She was on your case just that morning about manning up and going to work.)

"So Chlo, what took you so long?" Cynthia Rose asks. "We started eating-"

"-and drinking!" Fat Amy adds laughingly, gesturing at the wine filled glass in her hand.

"Yes, and drinking … without you." Cynthia Rose says, leaning over to pluck a spare glass from the table.

"Of course you did! Glad to know my roomie was very accommodating ..." You say, patting Aubrey's back as a little thank you, she rolls her eyes with a 'no biggie'.

"I was hoping to get here earlier to prepare everything … but-" You pause, violently pushing away the thoughts of what had kept you behind, you close your eyes for second, trying to clear your head before continuing. "-what time did you all get here?" You ask, looking around at them.

"Me? Just under five minutes ago ..." Fat Amy says, and you glance at her already empty glass, she catches you looking. "Had a rough day with Blake. He's been grillin' me like a Beef Loin Porterhouse ..."

"I'm assuming that's bad ..." Stacie states, (she's vegetarian ... ironic, seeing how much she liked meat).

"It's a lot of heat for just one piece of meat I'm telling ya." Fat Amy laughed.

"Tough break, hang in there ..." You say.

"Well Stacie and I have been here for almost two hours, about 4ish I guess ..." Cynthia Rose offers.

"I got off early." Aubrey quietly says.

"Wasn't Coach going to end all the practices early today? Said she had something to be working on - her album or something?" Cynthia Rose asks, looking between Stacie and you.

You shrug before you leave to pour yourself a glass of wine and take a sip, trying to avoid answering any more questions.

"Were you able to see her for the … you know-" Aubrey hints rather blatantly.

"-I went to the check up by myself ..." you say, purposely ignoring it, choosing to speak instead about the video and the exercises Anna had taught you.

"So it's all good? You'll be able to sing for the upcoming Live Show?" Fat Amy asks, and when you nod, there are cheers, whistles and claps all around, except from Aubrey who's still staring you down.

"Did Beca say anything when you talked to her about it afterwards?" Aubrey asks, "Did you even talk to her at all?"

You raise your eyes to meet hers and silently wish she would let it go.

"Or did you just let her get away with her irresponsibility, her complete disregard towards you as your coach."Aubrey continues, oblivious to your soundless pleas."You let her step on you again didn't you, didn't you?!"

"Yes, we did talk and yes I did tell her!" You grate out. "And you know what little good it did me … so much for honesty ..."

"Why, what happened ...?"

"What's up with you and Coach?" You hear the inevitable question being asked.

"I don't really feel like talking about it. I don't feel like talking any more ..." you make to stand up-to move away from them but you're kept seated by Aubrey's hand around you wrist pulling you back down.

"Now you know that's only going to make us want to know more ..." Stacie says, and you let out a loud, weary sigh. This was justwhat you had wanted to avoid.

"Why are you acting like this? I'd understand if you were angry or frustrated if your talk hadn't gone the way you'd planned it to but ... you're acting all defeated, so something else must have happened …?" Aubrey says.

You glance up and you should've known that was the wrong thing to do; they can see through you, see it so very clearly in your eyes (weren't the eyes the window to the soul?) ... what did they see? Did they see a shrivelled up hollow version of you reflecting in your depths.

"Something that neither of us planned ..."

"You kissed." Aubrey says, sounding so sure. Seriously, she got that from a look?! You raise your eyes to her again and see something darken in hers.

"Wait, so that's why you look so rejected, you initiated the kiss but then she shut you down - that BITCH!"

"She ran away ..." You say dejectedly.

"Like I said, that BITCH!" Aubrey said, her face flushing pink.

"No she kissed me … and then I kissed her back -" You begin, trying to explain.

"-Wait, what? Who kissed who first …?" Aubrey interrupted.

"Chloe kissed Beca and then Beca shut her down." Stacie said, decidedly.

"No, you've got it wrong! Beca kissed Chloe and then Chloe kissed Beca and then Beca got cold feet and pulled away." Fat Amy reasoned.

"That actually sums it up perfectly." You say.

"Oh ..." They say simultaneously, and everyone settles back into the chairs.

You knew the momentary silence was too good to last.

"So what was it like?" Cynthia Rose asked.

"Was it a peck? Was it wet? Was it a full on make out? Were there teeth? Tongue? Grabby hands?" Fat Amy reeled off question after question.

"Was it hot?" Stacie asked. "I'm pretty sure it was hot; Beca seems like a good kisser … and your chemistry together it's off the charts … I wish I had been there to see it."

You are forced to recount everything word for word; line for line ... just to get them off of your back.

Throughout the story you can sense Aubrey's burning stare; while the other girls are all out fan girling, having all the feels as they call it ... oohing and ahhhing, sighing, and even crying. Aubrey pulls you to one side when you get off the sofa to refill everyone's glasses. You can tell by the look in her eye and the way she flicks a few strands of hair away from your face that while she is annoyed by what she just heard in the living room, she just wants you to, no needs you to be OK.

"Chloe?" Aubrey starts as she takes the bottle from your hand and she pours it into the glasses.

"Yeah." You answer lazily but with no intention to talk to her, you head back into the lounge with the glasses and the conversation still taking place.

"I just can't." Fat Amy says a bit overwhelmed, fanning herself with what looked like some of Aubrey's legal papers.

"See ... Beca's been feeling the same way this entire time ... we have proof now it's not just in our heads ... thank you Chloe ... it's on."

"Bechloe is the endgame."

Aubrey's on her feet, there's a look on her face that you recognise but can't place. It's calm enough, her hands are steady enough but her eyes are burning brightly, intensely when she starts speaking.

"You're all forgetting that this girl stormed out, left Chloe crying, broken on the floor without once looking back! She kissed her, then took whatever she gave Chloe away like the selfish, arrogant, entitled child that she is."

She faces you then as she continues talking, slow and deliberate making sure you hear every last word.

"She not only took something from you, she ran away like a total coward. And you know what? I want to see what a coward looks like when she has nowhere else to run, when that someone who's chasing her won't let her off so easy."

It takes you a minute to process all that's been said, to register that Aubrey's already on her way out of the apartment, having grabbed her coat and purse from the small nook by the front door and she's down the stairs and heading towards her car.

Oh shit!

Yes, you did know that face, you knew it really well, as did all the other prosecutors, criminals and offenders and anyone else really who had ever been pitted against her.

There was a flurry of activity and several bodies scrambled to get off the sofa at once. You run as fast as your legs allow you, and fall short just as she pulls away from the curb. You get a glimpse at her face; she's wearing her court room face, the same controlled, but doggedly resolute, expression that she has on whenever she was getting ready to step into court. When she was determined to win a battle.

"Shit's about to go down ..." Fat Amy laughed as she lumbered up beside you. "... there's a hopped up blondie who going to give Beca a smack down for treatin' you like that!"

"Quick! Phone someone! Anyone! Somebody better alert Beca ..." Stacie laughed, patting her pockets for her phone.

"This is serious." Fat Amy suddenly said, the smile dropping from her face. "I may sound like I'm joking … but seriously what I'm saying is not funny half the time. I just said 'there's a hopped up blondie who's going to-"

"-We need to follow Aubrey! She's going to tear a strip off Beca. Is anyone sober enough to drive?" You ask, slightly panicking at Aubrey's intentions.

All three girls shake their heads.

"I'll call a cab." Cynthia Rose offered. "Um … while you get your coat?"

You hadn't realised you were shivering and weirdly were without your shoes but you just wait by the kerb as Cynthia Rose calls a cab, ignoring the cool air and the dampness under your feet. You could deal with that later. Within a matter of minutes all four of you have bundled yourselves into the cab and are heading back towards the studios.

You hear raised voices as you approach the coach's offices. You can hear Aubrey's tell-tale authoritative tone ringing out across the studio and the four of you happen across an argument between Beca's assistant and Aubrey.

The girls shrink back into the shadows, not used to the malevolence in Aubrey's voice when she was vexed, deeply upset or defending her best friend. You were left to listen to the entire conversation. Well, you say conversation but it was more Aubrey pointing an aggressive finger towards Kimmy-Jin and barking, who to her credit was keeping remarkably calm, despite the obvious presence of a stink eye aimed in Aubrey's direction.

"... I just asked if it was possible to see the great Beca Mitchell, if she was free to talk to us common folk …"

"She's a very busy woman and she's pretty hauled up … and cannot see you today and as I already said, there's nothing I can actually do." Kimmy-Jin said evenly, her eyes fixed on Aubrey. "She's, uh, actually already left anyway ... though I'd be happy to relay your message in the morning, when she is back on the clock."

"I don't care what you do to get her here! But call her up! Text her! Go and fetch her! I don't care if you have to push Beca out of your own vagina … I am going to speak to her, right now-"

"-Aubrey!" You hiss, making your presence known. Your chastisement is enough to jolt her out of her rage; to remind her of her position as a lawyer in a respectable firm. She visibly gulps as you take a step forward.

"No, you know what …" She speaks calmly to Kimmy-Jin now. "... thanks for your help or whatever this is. Just warn your boss that we will be having a chat and soon, she can't avoid this forever …" she says remembering herself, pulling herself away right on time before the security people were alerted.

She whips around and charges past you. Kimmy-Jin glares at you before turning and leaving you even more confused than you were just a moment ago. You follow Aubrey out of the studio and she motions for you to get in the car. She doesn't speak, even when she notices your lack of shoes and you suffer the ride home in silence. It was only after arriving back at your apartment did you remember the other girls but a quick check of your phone confirmed they had headed back to their respective homes.

Aubrey's withdrawn, her stony contemplative eerie silence extends far longer than you've ever encountered before. You would have been fine with her screaming, but the complete silence is quite unnerving.

She doesn't even say anything as she retires early to her room; even her door is noiseless as it closes.


You were dreading getting out of the bed the next day. Not only was your head thumping but the ball of fear sitting low in your belly didn't disappear during the overly long, very hot shower you took or the piece of toast you forced down your throat.

It only got worse when you actually arrived at the studios … and you're face to face with Beca. You are trying not to physically tremble. When did you get so pathetic about all of this?

You can't even begin to act normal because really nothing is anymore. The tension's palpable between the two of you; Cynthia and Stacie stand in as buffers, keeping the conversation flowing well enough.

The two of you don't directly acknowledge each other unless you need to and even that was limited to "yes" and "no". You couldn't look her in the eye … and every second within her presence reminds you of everything leading up to what had happened.

The whole day seems to drag on but still, for the most part it is pretty uneventful and you quickly settle in to what has become the norm for you.

The last thing to run through was the group practice with the rest of Team Adam, Usher and Shelton that you performed in front of several of the Executive Producers who were visiting … but you sigh happily when they call out "It's a wrap for today, see you tomorrow group".

You're just glad to get through that one day unscathed.

You think you were finally given a break, the promise land of relaxation and a warm bed was so near. But just as you do feel the relief starting to settle in … you hear the beginnings of a commotion outside, you hear screaming and your blood turns cold. You close your eyes. Getting through the day unscathed my ass! You can feel that it's gonna be bad. Because that scream … it is Aubrey's. It's her raised voice, her loud, angry voice that's getting closer and closer.

And then the door opens and you wince seeing your best friend flanked by not one, not two but three security personnel trying to restrain her.

The girls, including Beca are all staring at you now. And you're completely frozen. Aubrey had pushed it too far this time.

"I just need to talk to somebody, it's urgent!" She says, trying to wriggle out from between them.

"Ma'am this is private property and a closed off area and non-Voice related personnel are not allowed in here …"

She actually puts up quite a fight, these muscular men have to work, actually breaking a sweat as she wriggles, and slips pass their grip several times until one of the guard's resorts to putting Aubrey in a headlock.

"You will see that you unhand me sir, you have no idea who you're dealing with-"

"Oh believe me we have an idea; you're one tough little missy … and we don't mean you any harm but it's for the protection of everyone present … I'll loosen the hold if you promise to … oof ..." His speech cut short when her elbow catches him hard in the middle.

You know you should probably be stepping in to handle the situation but you're feeling totally overwhelmed by it all. You've only ever seen her fight like this once before, she isn't usually this physically aggressive but she certainly seems to be acting defensively. You realise you should have bitten the bullet and forced her to talk to you last night so that she didn't feel like she had to take it upon herself to be the one to fix things for you.

"Wait, what is the meaning of this?" Cameron asks, stepping forward from the small crowd that seems to have gathered, watching the drama unfold. The security guard releases Aubrey from his grip but lays a firm hand on her shoulder.

"It is okay guys; I'll take care of it." Beca reassures them. "It is all just a misunderstanding." She's stepping in closer, trying to handle the situation, attempting to block out the conversation from the company bigwigs.

"Clearly it is … because last I checked you had a prior engagement and now I hear you're busy hanging out in closets …" Aubrey leans over and whispers, just loud enough for Beca and the people in close proximity (mainly her girls) to hear.

"Aubrey what the hell?" You can hear Beca say under her breath. "Can you not do this here please …?"

"What? Afraid that everyone will know?" Aubrey says loudly, looking straight down into Beca's eyes.

"Know what?" Bumper asks as he snakes his way to Aubrey's left side, leering and looking excited. "And Miss? Are you single? Because I sure am and that … that was hot! We should get together sometime ..."

"What do you want?" Beca finally asks, directly her question straight to Aubrey, ignoring the confused and curious stares around her.

"Just a few minutes of your precious, precious time are all that I need." Aubrey says. She doesn't mention you by name or pertain to what happened but she quickly glances your way, making brief eye contact before she subtly motions with her head for you to follow. You begin to take a step forward, as if to follow, but stop after you notice she then puts her hand up, gesturing for you to wait before you do so.

After things have settled down and everyone around has dispersed, you excuse yourself before following the direction in which they went. You check the rooms and happen across them in the last room at the end of the corridor. You peek through the little glass section of the door.

You tense, scared at what you'll find but there's no fighting going on, they are actually conversing. You listen closely, keening your ear towards the door.

"You know that you and I were okay already, bordering on friendship, I believe." Aubrey says, quite calmly, looking at Beca without a trace of malice. "But you've really fucked this up big this time Mitchell … and while I would rather bitch slap the pretentious crap out of you, and seriously that's what I came marching in here to do, but the whole struggling gave me a moment of clarity, I do realise that wouldn't do anything. It won't fix things between you and Chloe ..."

You watch as Beca lowers her eyes to the floor.

"... what the two of you need is to talk it out." Aubrey continues to speak. "You have to man-up here and … and say it to her straight. The thing is ... I know that you care about her in your own way and that everything is messed up but you owe it to yourself as well to be truly honest. You need to have that heart to heart, cards on the table, candid talk between the two of you to clear things up."

Beca's eyes snapped up to meet Aubrey's, and you can see the realisation dawning on her face.

"You are lucky that I say things as they are." Aubrey hasn't quite yet finished speaking. "Chloe hides behind several layers of trying to please everyone, and just genuine kindness … and she doesn't deserve this-"

"-Okay I'll talk to her … we'll … we will talk. I'll get this straightened out. But will you stop trying to barge in and harassing the poor security guards …?"

"That's all I wanted to hear."

/

"So you wanted to talk …?" Beca says as she pushes a hot cup of coffee in your hands. She came to find you about half an hour after Aubrey left the studios and you couldn't help but notice the extra creases of concern around her eyes. She looks tired but you brush those thoughts away. She pulled up into one of the practice rooms, locking the door behind you both. You stare at your paper cup for a while, noticing that she remembered you liked it strong and unstirred with just a splash of creamer.

"I don't see how we have anything else to do with each other …" You look down and your face flushes as you remember all the things you had done with each other.

"You could have asked me yourself Chloe. You didn't have to set your lapdog on me-"

"-Really?" You snap, suddenly so unbelievably sick of this whole thing. Why did emotion have to be so hard? Why did Beca not seem to understand? "Would you have started the conversation? No! Because the way we've been all day … and the way you have been speaking to me for days now, avoiding me whenever you could, I really couldn't see anything like that happening! And because it's YOU … because ... because it's you, we don't get to talk about feelings, do we? We both know how emotionally unavailable you are-"

"That's not fair-"

"Not fair? How is it not fair?"

"I've been busy! Busy; working my ass trying to have control over everything, trying to keep everything together; making sure that everything is okay. And with all things I have to be worried about I need to add trying to keep this thing between us amicable."

"Really … are you delusional? I'm not like you; I can't pretend everything's okay when it isn't! And you know you're the one who made this awkward for us, you're the one who put us in this position …"

"How do you figure that one?" Beca asked, tilting her head to one side.

"You kissed me remember? And it wasn't just a peck, you wanted it! You liked it and you didn't pull away. So why do I feel like you're blaming me ... why can't we be together?"

"I'm not gay Chloe! You're a contestant on the show and more importantly, you're my friend for Pete's sake. And ... and I have a fiancé." Beca adds, almost as an afterthought.

"Do you usually kiss your friends? Well, it's funny that since Jesse left for London, you haven't mentioned him. Not once! You tend to forget all about Jesse whenever he leaves and you only mention him when necessary ..."

"I was feeling lonely, you were there ... I guess we've been spending so much time together that maybe I thought, I imagined that I was feeling something for you."

"Stop lying! You know what, I can deal with the shit you keep pulling, but don't you dare deny what happened as a fluke, or that it wasn't real. I'm so sick and tired of you doing that ... own up to it for once. Do you like me or not?"

"I can't like you that way Chloe. I can't." This time her tone is firm and you can tell she is no longer kidding, not like when you were drunk. But the same question comes out of your mouth anyway, something you hate yourself for; you hate that she makes you this vulnerable.

"Why not?" You ask, ashamed that your voice sounds so weak and needy.

"I just can't." She offers nothing else. "It can't happen and it won't."

You want to ask her 'can't' or 'won't' as you do believe there is a difference, but you realize with her, it was one and the same. She would never return your affections and that was that. You feel so pathetic waiting on someone who you knew wouldn't ever do anything about how she felt ... she's driving you crazy, you hate how you can't shake it off as easy as she can. You hate that you have loved her for all this time, following her every move for years. But worse of all you hate how much it hurts that she doesn't seem to love you back.

Every now and then

When I'm all alone

I be wishing you would call me on the telephone

Say you want me back

But you never do

I feel like such a fool

There's nothing I can do.

I'm such a fool

For you


This is pretty light compared to the next few chaps-stay tuned for Part 2

Part two preview:

That good mood lasted until the second hour of practice. You were determined to ignore the fact that the almost ethereal glow about Beca that morning was causing havoc with your heart. How dare her hair be so shiny? Why did she look so rested and well?

She looked like she didn't have a care in the world as she stood by the piano interacting with Stacie. If you thought about it hard enough, it could have been mistaken for flirting; well you don't blame Stacie she was normally flirty, that's how she was with everyone but there's Beca flirting right back. You wonder if she was doing this on purpose.