Gwen watched as Morgana stared at the sheets like it was the cause of all her problems. "Fifteen-thousand years? It's been that long? That-that's impossible."

Gwen curled her fingers into her thighs and tried to calm the beating of her heart. After Morgana had woken up, it had taken nearly fifteen minutes for her to calm down enough that she let Gwen speak. She could see that Morgana was deeply regretting that decision.

"I just died yesterday, Gwen. Arthur was dying and Merlin- he killed me. It wasn't a mortal blade. There's no way I should be alive."

"None of us should. I think the gods decided that we should have a second chance for whatever reason. Merlin always thought that Arthur would rise when Albion's need was greatest. I'm guessing that's now. I don't why all of us are here though. I don't know what Albion is and what it's greatest need is. That's why we need Merlin." Gwen kept her voice carefully soft, not knowing if Morgana was going to lash out or not.

"Merlin was just here. I felt his magic."

"Morgana, Merlin doesn't remember us. We realized that he was the only one who could wake you but he doesn't know anything. We thought that maybe since Merlin brought you back, willingly or unwillingly, you could help bring Merlin back."

Morgana suddenly laughed, her voice bitter. "I'm not bringing him back. If anything it's a blessing for him to have forgotten. But if you think I'm helping any of you, you've got another thing coming. Don't mistake yourself, Gwen. If I still had my magic you would already be dead."

"But you don't. But if Merlin comes back—"

Morgana leaned forward as much as she could. "I'd rather never use my magic again than see Merlin."

Gwen dug her teeth into her bottom lip. "Oh? You hate him that much?"

Morgana's lips curled into something dark. "You have no idea how much I hate him. How much I hate all of you."

It took all of Gwen's composure to make sure her voice didn't shake. "You said it was a blessing for him to have forgotten. You claim you want Merlin to suffer but he's perfectly fine the way he is right now. Relieved of his destiny and of his burden. You would rather him live in peace than to confront him again?"

"I don't care. He may not remember but he'll never be in peace. I am not helping you." Morgana said, her voice shaking near the end.

Gwen stared at Morgana, her eyes darting across her face to try and figure out what was running through her mind.

"You're scared." Gwen realized. "You're scared of Merlin."

Morgana's eyes flashed. "I am not."

Gwen shoved down any guilt that was rising in her chest and pushed on. "You so are. I bet that's what your nightmare was about, wasn't it? About Merlin? How even after everything, he still won. He still managed to defeat you in the end. And you can put on a brave face but at the end of the day, Merlin is a thousand times more powerful than you and you know it. You're terrified of it. Of him."

Morgana snarled, tugging at her bonds. "He won nothing. He failed and he knows it. Arthur died. The one person he dedicated his entire life to. And he failed in keeping him alive. Just because he killed me doesn't mean he won. He might have brought about the golden age and he might have led you to release the ban on magic but at the end of the day, he lost what he loved the most."

"You both failed. You both made mistakes. I'm not saying that Merlin was a hero and he did everything right. For all I care, you can sit here cowering in fear but even though he didn't win, he still succeeded in one thing. And that was killing you. But you can't do or change anything now." Gwen leaned forward, locking eyes with her. "What's done is done, Morgana. It's been fifteen-thousand years and you can choose to either sit here and sulk about it or you can get up, go find Merlin, and make things right."

Morgana stared at Gwen. Her eyes flickered slightly to the left and then back to Gwen. Gwen watched as she swallowed roughly, taking in her words. Gwen knew that she could have been much less harsh but she was done with trying to be nice. While she didn't hate her—Gwen knew she could never truly hate her— she certainly wasn't fond of her. She'd given her more than enough chances to redeem herself but as the minutes went by, she started to wonder if Morgana truly was beyond redemption.

Morgana opened her mouth, but hesitated and snapped it shut, collapsing back against the bed. Her eyes fluttered shut and Gwen watched as she twisted to the side, away from her. Gwen considered speaking up again but decided to let Morgana be. She knew it was a lot to take in and all things considered, Morgana was taking it better than Gwen had imagined.

Gwen carefully stood up and slipped out of the room. The moment she shut the door, Lancelot was on her in an instant. "Are you okay? She didn't hurt you right?"

Gwen rolled her eyes, pushed Lancelot away. "I'm fine. She's taking some rest."

Arthur stood up and pressed his ear to the door. "How was she?"

Gwen could hear the underlying concern in his voice and he took in Gwen's face for some clues. "She's… alright. I think she just needs some time to take it all in but she's calmed down a bit."

"Is she going to help us?"

Gwen blew out a breath. "I don't know. Hopefully."

The tension was nearly palpable in the room. Gwen swallowed, glancing back at the door. Don't let me down, Morgana, Gwen thought, not again.

-0-o-0-

Morgana listened to the hushed whispers from behind the door and wondered who was there. She knew that Arthur and Gwen were there but she wondered if all of the Knights of the Round Table were there as well. She wondered if Mordred was there. Mordred. She knew that she failed him. She turned the innocent boy into a cruel killer. Into herself. And as much as she hated to admit it, Mordred would have been much better off as Arthur's knight.

She pulled at the bonds and managed to free one hand. She dug the heel of it into her eyes until colors burst behind her eyelids. Pushing herself up, she freed her other hand and wriggled herself until she could sit upright, comfortably. Her legs were still tightly bound and Morgana didn't bother trying to free herself from it.

She raised a trembling hand and whispered a spell. "Forbearnan."

Nothing happened. She repeated the spell but her hand remained empty and shaking. Her throat closed up with clogged tears and Morgana took in a struggling breath, saying the spell again. She remembered how terrified she was when she first discovered her magic. How she had run into Merlin and confessed her darkest secret. How Merlin had been nothing but supportive.

Thank you, Merlin. I know now who I really am. And it isn't something to be scared of. Maybe one-day people will come to see magic as a force for good.

Morgana clenched her fists, anger rushing over her like a wave. Because Merlin had sent her to the druids. Merlin, who was the most powerful sorcerer alive, didn't find it in himself to tell Morgana. To help her. He sent her away instead. Morgana might have betrayed Camelot, but in her eyes, Merlin betrayed her first. Merlin was the one who tried to poison her. To kill her. Merlin turned her into the ruthless bitter-filled person she became.

You can choose to either sit here and sulk about it or you can get up, go find Merlin, and make things right.

Morgana shivered as she remembered the conversation that took place the night before. Even through their times in Camelot, Gwen had never looked at Morgana like that. With such anger. With such frustration. Morgana took in a breath and called out, cursing herself when her voice shook as bad as her hands. "Gwen?"

There was a fumbled crash before the door jerked open and Gwen slipped inside. Morgana was almost startled by the fire in her eyes. It took her a moment to realize that Gwen was no longer her maid-servant. Morgana was no longer the king's ward. And things were different. It's been fifteen-thousand years.

"Morgana." Gwen's voice had a hard edge to it and Morgana wondered what they were doing on the other side of the door to get Gwen so worked up.

Morgana cleared her throat. "Mordred. Is he here?"

Something flickered across her eyes before her face went blank. "No. He's not."

Morgana tugged at her bonds, shoving down the disappointment. The confusion. Why was she here if Mordred wasn't?

"Can you take these off? I won't fight, I promise. It'll be easier."

When Gwen hesitated, Morgana spoke again. "I don't even have my magic, Gwen. I'm useless without it. I couldn't hurt you if I tried. Not with all of the knights behind your back."

Gwen studied her for a moment as if looking for something. It took all of Morgana's willpower not to avert her gaze. Whatever she was looking for, she evidently found it as she turned and cracked the door open. "Elyan. Come here."

There were muffled protests from behind the door but seconds later, Elyan slipped inside with a large knife in his hands. Gwen started at the sight. "Where the hell did you get that from?"

Elyan just shrugged and made his way over to Morgana. He crouched down over her legs and glanced up at her. Morgana met his gaze head-on. She could see the anger in his expression and Morgana suddenly realized that the knights were probably much more wary and furious of Morgana than Gwen was.

"You make one wrong move, Leon will knock you out again." Elyan threatened, the knife dangerously close to her skin.

Morgana scoffed under her breath. "I'll be on my best behavior."

Elayn grabbed the first rope and got to work.

-0-o-0-

There is someone you have been searching for, someone that has always eluded you. Emrys.

The wind blew by harshly, pushing her hair into her face. The clouds drew together above her head and thunder rumbled in the distance.

I know where he is.

Morgana's knees buckled beneath her, and they cracked against the stone-cold ground. Her fingers dug into the dirt. The wind roared in her ears and for all the air whipping around, Morgana couldn't get any of it in her lungs. Her vision flashed before her and the blue, blue eyes never left. You can trust me, Morgana.

Where? Camelot.

Morgana screamed, lashing out with her magic, completely decimating the forest that ringed around her. Morgana was already pretty powerful. She usually relied on spells but she knew that her magic came from something much deeper. A part of her she was honestly scared to tap into. Her emotions.

Anger rushed through her veins and she couldn't think of anything beyond Mordred's words pounding through her head.

And I have his true name.

Morgana curled herself up, wondering whether the thunder was in the sky or inside her. Do you understand? Merlin had stared back, his eyes open but painfully unreadable. More than anyone. How could she had been so stupid? Morgana growled and the earth shook beneath her. Her screams lost in the storm. It took Morgana nearly an hour to calm down. But the betrayal swelling through her veins gushed harder than before. The anger. And Morgana was left crying in the middle of a charred ring of dust, alone. Just like she had started.

It is Merlin.

Morgana grabbed the first thing she saw, a book, and hurled it across the room. It clattered to the ground with an unsatisfying thud and something in her heart twisted when no one, not even Gwen, peeked inside to see if she was okay.

Anger wasn't a new emotion that Morgana felt. Before her magic, her usual outlet was ranting to Gwen. It was locking herself up and crying herself to sleep because what else could she do? But once she realized that she had a power that ran through her blood, her outlet changed. Morgana usually relied on spells for most of her magic. After nearly setting her bed on fire, she didn't dare try to use her emotions to control it.

But after the first attempt to take over Camelot had gone wrong. After Merlin had looked her in the eye and said, It's over, Morgana. She lost it.

All her carefully concealed emotions shattered with just one look. No, you're wrong. This has just begun. And she had screamed, nearly bringing down the castle with her. She turned and thrashed and destroyed everything in her reach like a child who didn't get what they wanted. And her anger fueled it all.

But now, that energy was gone. Stripped from her until she was a useless ragdoll who couldn't hold her own. And she was angry. Seething at the edge. And with no outlet, she felt close to exploding. Fury poured off her waves because how was this fair? She had done everything she could possibly do and she knew that she failed. But the fates found it fit to rub it in her face. To make her watch all of her old friends laugh and joke knowing she would never be welcome. Not that she wanted to be.

And Merlin. Merlin, who was probably going about his new life without a care in the world, oblivious to the fallen kingdoms and broken friendships that lingered just out of his reach. And as angry as Morgana was, she was so tired. What she would give to wipe her mind of her old, twisted life. To start over.

But that's what this was, wasn't it? A second chance. A way to make things right. A way for her to finally tell Merlin exactly what she thought of him and make him suffer for completely ruining her life. To shove back the burdens that he was now relieved off just to watch him stagger under the weight of it. A way for her finally let go and relieve herself of everything that had been bubbling up in her since Merlin first turned her away, all those years ago. An outlet. And to do that, she had to get Merlin to remember. Merlin to realize what exactly he'd done.

Morgana walked forward and snatched up the fallen book, clenching it in her fingers. And she would make him pay.


Arthur, Gwaine, and Percival were avoiding her. That much was very clear. They had left the moment Elyan started to unbind her and didn't seem very keen on interacting with her at all. And honestly, Morgana was glad. She didn't think she had the emotional capacity to talk with her brother, a knight she killed and said knight's apparent boyfriend. She was only left to deal with Elyan and Leon.

Leon didn't talk to her either. She had a nudging suspicion that if he did, he would never stop yelling at her. Leon and Morgana were never really close. Both were close to Gwen and Arthur but their interactions were always limited. That didn't change the fact that they had essentially grown up together, though.

The only knight that actually spoke to her was Elyan. She had few interactions with the man but she knew that they both remembered the time when she had tortured Elyan for the whereabouts of the king. The Nathair was one of her favorite torture techniques but looking back on it she just felt sick.

I'll tell you nothing, Elyan had snarled, glaring up at Morgana.

Morgana had simply smiled. I was hoping you'd say that.

Morgana swallowed down the bile rising in her throat and watched as Leon and Elyan quietly discussed something across the room. Gwen was nowhere to be seen and Morgana resisted the urge to run away. To get away from this strange new place.

"Morgana." Elyan stepped forward, watching her carefully. "I was planning on dropping by to see Merlin today. We're close friends. He doesn't remember anything but I managed to get his trust. He was kind of spooked from when he last saw you. I told him that you just have a hard time around new people and that's why you freaked out when you woke up. Would you like to join me? Just to tell Merlin in person. He was worried about you."

Morgana tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. "Merlin was worried about me? "

"He doesn't remember anything. So you have to keep your cool if you come." Elyan's voice was a warning. Every part of Morgana's body rejected the idea of seeing Merlin again. She was already on edge around these two men but around Merlin, Morgana didn't know what she would do.

"I'd love to see him."

Elyan scratched his jaw. "Are you sure? You cannot just break down and try to kill him or something okay? That generally frowned upon and I can't lose Merlin's trust now."

Morgana smirked. "Why Sir Elyan. Don't you have faith in me? I'll be fine. The idiot doesn't remember me anyway so if I do try to kill him he'll just look at me with that stupidly innocent face of his."

Elyan pursed his lips. "I don't have any faith in you, Morgana. Also innocent face of his?"

Morgana turned away, flushing slightly. "Nothing. It's just something he always used to do."

Elyan stared at her and Morgana tried her hardest to keep her face blank but she could already feel Elyan peering into her soul. "I don't understand you, Morgana. Honestly, I doubt I ever will."

Morgana met Elyan's stare. "So? When are we leaving?"


Elyan's grip on her was painfully tight. It was as if Elyan was taking all of his anger out on her arm rather than yelling it to her face. "Rule number one: don't ask questions. I'll take it for you if he says something you don't understand. This is a new world and I still don't understand half of it so don't even try."

Morgana watched the busy streets and rolling metal boxes. She froze when she saw the shop Elyan was taking her to. Avalon's Coffee Shop. Elyan took one look at her and read her face easily. "Yeah. I think it was his subconscious that named the shop? Like he didn't really know what he was saying. But for the most part, he remembers nothing so don't freak him out."

Elyan dragged her over and pushed the door open, shoving Morgana inside. Natural sunlight lit up the cozy shop and washed over the tables and counters. Elyan led her over to the line and finally let go of her. "We're best friends by the way. I know that we both are definitely not on good terms but don't give anything away. We're friends, okay?"

Morgana rocked back on her heels, resisting the urge to peek around the line to catch a glimpse of Merlin. She took in a breath and tried to clear her mind. She was doing this for herself. Not for the knights. Not for Gwen. And certainly not for Merlin. They moved to the front of the line and Morgana risked a glance up.

"Hey, Elyan. Same order?" Morgana shuddered at the voice.

"Yeah. And Morgana here will have a Pumpkin Spice Latte." Elyan placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it hard enough for Morgana to meet Merlin's eyes.

"Alright." Merlin's lips curled up into a blinding smile. "It's nice to meet you, Morgana. I'm sorry if I scared you the other day." You're scared of Merlin.

Morgana was speaking before she could consider her words. "I'm not scared of you."

Merlin's expression shifted in an instant. "Oh. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to assume- I mean of course not. I just thought I startled you, that's all. I didn't mean to offend you."

Morgana bit the inside of her cheek before she could reply. Elyan spoke up. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out? I wanted to show Morgana that park we went to the other day."

Merlin's eyes flickered from Morgana to Elyan. "Yeah, sure. I get off in fifteen minutes if that's alright. It's a bit crowded today."

Elyan pulled Morgana to the side. "Of course. We'll be at my usual table."

They made their way to the booth on the other side of the shop, closest to the counter. Morgana shoved Elyan's hands off of her. "Don't touch me."

"Then control yourself. He was apologizing to you. You had no reason to snap at him like that."

"I am not scared of him." Morgana snarled, dimly aware of how childish she sounded.

Elyan obviously knew that as he stared at Morgana, his eyes burning with rage she'd never seen on Elyan. "Look, I've tried to be civil with you, alright? Don't think I'm not pissed off at you for completely ruining my life. For ruining my sister's life. I'm trying to cooperate with you but if you can't handle it then get out. You're acting like a child, Morgana."

Morgana leaned towards Elyan. "Yeah? Well, you're not the only one pissed off. Your sister ruined my life too so don't think this is a one-way street."

"No. You ruined your own life. Stop blaming others for your own selfish mistakes. Gwen never wanted to be queen but she took what cards were dealt to her and made the best of it. You clearly couldn't do the same."

Morgana scoffed. "Don't compare me to Gwen. Our lives were completely different. She got the perfect life okay? I'm the one—"

"Nobody has a perfect life." Elyan's voice was nothing but a harsh whisper. "Everyone had their troubles. Don't act like you were the only one with problems. A shitty life doesn't justify murder."

Before Morgana could even think of a reply, Merlin called out from the counter. "One Caffe Mocha and one Pumpkin Spice Latte for Elyan!"

Elyan shoved away from the table, leaving Morgana stunned. She'd always thought of Gwen's brother as the sweet, shy kid that was everyone's friend. And though the two weren't close, the fury in his eyes was something she had never seen on his face before. It suddenly occurred to her that it was her fault that Elyan had died.

Elyan slid back into the booth and pushed a drink towards Morgana. She opened her mouth but Elyan cut her off. "Enough. We didn't come here to fight. We could go on like this forever. Drop it."

Elyan tipped his head back, drinking, not bothering to even make eye contact. Morgana slowly pulled the drink towards her and took a tentative sip. It tasted like cinnamon and caffeine with a hint of nutmeg. She took another long sip before she said, "Never knew you had such a temper, Elyan."

Morgana curled her lips up, keeping her eyes on her latte. Elyan didn't reply.


Merlin hung up his apron and grabbed his bag from the back room. Rowan came striding in, his eyes flashing with excitement. "Dude, 2'oclock from the cash register. Your friend's girlfriend?"

Rowan let out a low whistle, wiggling his eyebrows. "You can get me some of that."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Don't be disgusting, Rowan. That's not Elyan's girlfriend, anyway."

"She's single?" Rowan asked, making his way to the vending machine for a soda.

Merlin shrugged. "I don't know. I'd back off, though. She doesn't seem comfortable around new people. I mean, Jesus. The way she looked at me? You would think I betrayed her and ruined all her life plans."

"I don't know, man. A few sideways looks and couples brushes of my fingers against her side and I'll have her hooked." Rowan winked, taking a swig of soda.

Merlin pointed his finger at Rowan. "No. You are not flirting with her. My friends are off-limits."

"Your friends? I thought you betrayed the poor woman."

Merlin shot Rowan a dark look. "Oh, shut up. I'm heading out. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Rowan smirked. "Let me know if she spends the night, yeah? Maybe she's into guys who ruin her life."

Merlin snorted. "Yeah sure. I'll call you."

Rowan clucked his tongue, collapsing on the couch. "Come on. You haven't shown interest in anyone since crazy blondie from a couple of weeks ago."

"Ok, first of all, I was not interested in blondie. Second of all, I am not interested in Morgana either. I barely know her. I'm not really looking for a relationship anyway."

"Really? You know, we've been friends for the better part of the last five years and I've never seen you with anyone. I think the last time was that guy at the bar last year. And that lasted, like, two hook-ups." Rowan remarked.

Merlin turned to look at Rowan over his shoulder. "I don't need any serious relationships in my life, okay? Especially not with crazy blondie—you're words not mine— and the 'you look like I'll enjoy killing you' lady outside. I'll pass. And if you know what's good for you, you will too."

Merlin slipped out and shut the door before Rowan could reply.


Merlin watched Elyan and Morgana. Elyan's eyes were trained on the road, watching the cars roll by and Morgana was staring at the shops they were walking by with an almost inquisitive look. Merlin could practically feel the tension that rolled off the pair.

Merlin cleared his throat. "So, Elyan. Did you get around to reading that book I gave you?"

The reaction was immediate, his face lighting up. "Oh, yeah. I started it yesterday."

"How was it? What part are you on?" Merlin asked, guiding down a stray pathway that led to the park.

"Oh, it was… great. I'm, like, a quarter of the way through." Elyan gave an awkward smile and Merlin curled his lips tentatively. Something was clearly off between Morgana and Elyan. Like had had a fight and were keeping it together for Merlin. Merlin clenched his fists in his pockets and forced himself to look at Morgana.

Something about her set Merlin on edge but he couldn't quite place why. "Morgana, how's your life going?"

Merlin internally winced at the stupid question but didn't avert his gaze when Morgana glanced up, her emerald eyes boring into his. It looked like there was something warring in her eyes and she couldn't figure out how to respond. He could see Elyan go tense, watching Morgana warily like he was scared about how she was going to answer.

"I've been better." Her voice was curt and strained.

Merlin sped up his pace a little as the park came into view. "Come on. This park will definitely cheer you up. There's this huge fountain in the middle where I always go to sketch. Would you like to see some of them?"

Merlin hesitated, debating on whether or not to actually touch Morgana but Elyan beat him to it. He had seemingly no qualms about gripping Morgana's arm and dragging her over to the large cement fountain that sprouted up at the center of the green area. Merlin dropped down in his usual spot and pulled out his sketchbook.

Morgana was much warier as she lowered herself to the ground. Elyan was a couple of feet away, trailing his hand over the wet cement. Merlin flipped through the pages, trying to get himself to relax. He figured that if he relaxed then maybe the tension in Morgana's shoulders would fade.

Merlin stopped on one of his favorite sketches. He'd made it a couple of months ago. A dark fire-breathing dragon was curled over the top of the page, watching over the castle that he had drawn below it. He loved drawing dragons and if the large portrait on his bedroom was anything to go by, he did it often. He really didn't know where the image of it had come from but Merlin liked the result.

The moment Morgana saw it, she gasped. Jerking the book out of his hand, she stared at the sketch. "Elyan. Elyan."

She hissed, her eyes wide and terrified. Elyan was over in a second, looking at the sketch. His eyes widened but in an instant, it was replaced by a smile. "This looks great, Merlin."

Merlin moved to take the book back from Morgana but she was already turning through the pages. She flipped past sketches of the city, more dragons, towering castles, and then stopped on the lake. The same lake Merlin always returned to, whether he realized it or not. He remembered drawing that and finding himself sketching a small wooden boat over the lake and redrawing the tower in the distance so it was no longer crumbling. So that it stood tall like it was the day it was built. It was one of his more private drawings and Merlin suddenly found himself angry.

He snatched the book back and slammed it shut. "That's personal."

"That's the Lake of Avalon." Morgana's voice shook and she gaped up at Merlin. "How did you know that? Why did you draw that?"

"What? That's Lake Laucus. Not Avalon. Is there even a lake named Avalon?"

"That's what you named your stupid shop after, you idiot." Morgana snapped.

Merlin jerked back, his mind racing. Elyan pulled Morgana away from Merlin. "Morgana. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Morgana stumbled back. "What's wrong with me? He–"

Elyan stopped her with a dark glare. For a moment, the two simply stared at each other. Merlin's heart thud in his ears barely heard over Morgana's words that kept replaying itself over and over again in his mind. That's the Lake of Avalon.

Elyan crouched back down and said. "Hey. I'm so sorry. She has no concept of personal space. She's very imaginative that's all. Don't really listen to her. Half of what she says is bullshit anyway."

Merlin looked up at Morgana, who was watching him with almost knowing eyes. And it chilled him to the bone.

"Right." His own voice sounded like it was eons away. Merlin shoved the book back into his bag and slung it over his shoulder, standing up. Merlin vaguely understood that this was the point when he hightailed out of there. Away from these people. Clearly, there was something off about them and Merlin should honestly just leave and get away from it all. But when Elyan helped him up and smiled, albeit a little nervously, something in Merlin forced him to stay.

Something Merlin wasn't so sure he should listen to. But as he watched the pair walk away, whispering furiously to each other, he couldn't find it in himself to leave. So he turned and walked home, ignoring the ringing of his mind and the unsettling feeling in his chest. Like he always did.

-0-o-0-