"Oh my god. You're worse than Elyan." Merlin watched as Morgana slowly scrolled through his phone, her eyes widening as the screen responded to her touch.

"Is this some type of magic?" Her voice was filled with awe and had an odd tone to it.

Merlin snickered. "I wish. It's just technology. I can't believe you've never seen a phone before."

Morgana couldn't help the large smile that broke out on her face as she glanced up at Merlin. Their eyes met and Morgana was suddenly jerked back. What was she doing? Merlin was her enemy. Then why did her heart twist when Merlin's face fell at Morgana's sudden movement?

Morgana looked down, swallowing roughly. She couldn't lose herself. She had to get Merlin to remember. That's it. The old days were over. The day's Merlin and Morgana would exchange glances across the room at banquets and they would meet up at alcoves to gossip. Those days that had quickly turned to betrayed glances and strained conversations.

Merlin quietly pocketed his phone and ran a hand through his hair. An awkward silence settled over them and Morgana dared to speak up. "So, um, did you grow up here?"

Merlin shook his head. "Nah. I grew up closer to North Wales."

Morgana nodded. Where the hell was North Wales? "When did you move here?"

"Around five years ago. I move around a lot so I've been to most of Europe already." Merlin said, leaning back against the back of his chair.

Morgana's mind raced as she tried to figure a way to get Merlin to remember. "Um, how old are you?"

Merlin tilted his head, his eyes fairly amused. "I'm 23, actually. You?"

"I-uh, I'm 27." Morgana stammered. "Do you know how to read?"

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows. "Read?"

"Yeah, like an education?" Morgana cursed herself.

Merlin just smiled. "I'm actually earning up to go to Cambridge. Once I get the money I need from working at Avalon then I'm set."

"Set?"

"Yeah. Once I apply and hopefully get in, then I'm off to Cambridge." Merlin gave an almost wistful look down the street.

Morgana blinked. He's going to leave? Her breaths started to come slightly faster but she just nodded along with Merlin. "What about your friends here? Aren't you leaving them?"

Merlin shrugged. "Yeah, but you know. I need to get an education. I can't stay here forever."

"I thought you would've already gotten an education," Morgana spoke before she realized what she was saying.

Merlin's eyes flickered, a flash of panic taking over for just a fraction of a second before his face went blank. "Nah. After high school, I didn't have enough money to get to college. I lost my family when I was really young and we didn't have any money."

Morgana pressed on. "Your family? What happened?"

Merlin picked at his shirt. "I don't know. I honestly don't remember them at all. I don't remember ever having a real family."

His voice was soft and Morgana knew that for the first time, Merlin was telling the truth. He really didn't remember. I was your family.

Morgana grit her teeth. It was so hard to stay mad at Merlin when he didn't remember anything. And Morgana ached to crack a joke just watch him laugh. Just to forget all her anger and bitterness. And to pretend that maybe things were still okay.

-0-o-0-

Morgana stared at the book that Merlin had given Elyan. Catcher in the Rye. She flipped through the pages just skimming over the text. Groaning, she dropped the book and collapsed against the bed. She had to do something. Break something. Take over a kingdom. She hadn't felt this useless since she was just the king ward, simply there for Uther to show off. Morgana steeled her nerves and got up, throwing the door open.

Every single person in the room jumped. Morgana stepped inside and shut the door behind her. "I have an idea. Just hear me out."

Gwen stood up. "Morgana. Why don't we talk inside?"

"No." Morgana took another step forward. "I need to talk to Arthur."

She kept her eyes on Gwen but she could Arthur stiffen from the corner of her eye. Gwen frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Neither do I. Unfortunately, I can't get Merlin to remember. I tried everything. I got him to talk about his past and I casually brought up the names of his parents just to see if he gets that spark of recognition but there's only one thing that he never fails to react to. And that's Avalon. The Lake. I don't think he's even conscious of it but I see it in his eyes." Morgana spoke, daring to move further into the room.

"Elyan can back me up. The other day, we saw a sketch of Avalon. And there was a wooden boat that he drew and the details were fuzzy but I swear Arthur was on that boat. Merlin's connection to Avalon is not just through his magic but through Arthur. That's where he sent Arthur off when he died." Morgana cracked on her knuckles, biting the inside of her cheek. "I can try to help him but Arthur might be the only one who can do it. Merlin and Arthur are the ones of the prophecy. Their fates are intertwined. I can probably help but Arthur's the only one who can spark his memory."

The room was silent. Elyan spoke up, hesitant. "Merlin's seen Arthur before. He didn't remember then."

"Then we try again. Get them to become close again. Have Arthur gain Merlin's trust and then they go to Avalon together. The magic from the lake and Arthur's presence around Emrys must do something." Morgana urged, trying not to let her own hope seep into her voice.

"You seem to want Merlin to remember. I thought you were against it."

"I was," Morgana admitted. "But it's hard to be mad at someone who doesn't remember what happened. And if I want to kill him then he might as well know why before it happens."

"You can't kill him," Gwen said, her voice hard.

Morgana rolled her eyes. "You don't need to stop someone's breath to kill them. Merlin is already half dead. I only push him the rest of the way."

Gwen moved forward until they were barely a foot apart "You misunderstand me. You're not going to kill him. I get that you're angry but you don't have to go that far. What will killing him accomplish?"

"He ruined my life and I'll be damned if I don't make him pay. He took everything from me." Morgana glared at Gwen, satisfied when she took a careful step back. "I don't care how long it's been. I haven't forgotten anything. I'm still furious at you and everyone else who turned their back on me. Just wait until Merlin's back."

"And then what? Say you do kill him. What do you plan on doing? Camelot is gone. There's no throne for you to take, no laws for you to change. You don't have any power. Magic or royal. Don't kid yourself. Yelling at Merlin isn't going to fix all your problems." Gwen shot back, her eyes flashing.

"No." Morgana agreed. "But I might give me the closure I need. There are so many things that I don't know. And Merlin has answers. Answers that I need. I'm not doing this for you or for Arthur or for Merlin. I'm doing this for me. So I can finally be at peace. All that should matter to you is that I'm trying to get Merlin back. That's what you wanted from me, right?"

Gwen glanced at the floor and then back up at Morgana. Then she stepped back, looking at Arthur. Morgana took in a breath to calm herself before following Gwen's gaze. Arthur was on the ground, leaning against the wall. His hair was a mess and there were bags beneath his eyes. Morgana couldn't help the twinge of satisfaction at watching Arthur look so broken. Nothing like the king he once claimed to be.

She approached him and held out an open palm for him to take. He stared up at her with dark eyes. Morgana simply tilted her chin up and waited. After what felt like an eternity, he reached up and grasped her hand. Morgana yanked him up until they stood eye to eye. She laced her fingers with his in a way she always used to do when they were younger. When they would stand beside Uther and watch the court meetings. Whenever Arthur got scared of one day being king, Morgana was always there to give him a reassuring hand.

Arthur glanced down at their interlaced hands.

"I'm still angry. I'm so angry. But I'm also tired. As much as I hate to admit it, Gwen's right. It's been so long and I already got my revenge on you, dear brother. It took a while but your death was one thing I got right. And if the white goddess found it in herself to reverse that, who I am to challenge her. The only person I actually need to talk to is Merlin. He's all I care about. And not in a good way. You can try and stop me later but Merlin needs to remember first. So, truce? Just until Merlin's back?" Morgana found she really didn't want to kill Arthur anymore. He already died and paid the consequences. And this was a new world. Killing him wouldn't solve anything. She certainly wasn't fond of Arthur and wasn't keen on spending time with him, but she had to get to Merlin. No matter the cost.

Part of her knew that if when they did get Merlin back she wasn't going to hurt him. She couldn't if she tried but she won't. They'd spent so long fighting and trying to kill each other and ruin the others' plans that Morgana realized that they never really got time to talk. And of course, when Merlin is back, she might actually try to kill him, but for now, she just needed to know why. And she could deal with what to do with him later. That was the only reason she was helping them. The only one.

Arthur squeezed her hand painfully. "I'm angry too. But I want Merlin back. Don't forget yourself, Morgana. You make one wrong move, I will kill you. Don't test me."

Morgana smirked. "I'd like to see you try. You barely had the guts to kill your own father, what makes you think you can kill your sister?"

Arthur's eyes widened. "What?" He yanked his hand away, stumbling back. "How do you-?"

"I know a lot of things, Arthur. For the king you claimed to be, there were so many things you were completely oblivious about. I could've killed you a thousand times over if Emrys hadn't gotten in my way."

"Emrys? You keep mentioning that name. Whose Emrys?" Arthur asked, his face genuinely confused.

Morgana barked out a laugh. "You don't know who Emrys is? Wow. Merlin really didn't tell you anything did he?"

"What?"

"Merlin is Emrys, you buffoon. Emrys is the greatest warlock to walk the earth. Did not know this?"

"I-i knew that Merlin was the greatest sorcerer of all time but Emrys? He lied to me about his name?" Arthur asked, his lips parted in shock.

Morgana gave an almost mocking laugh. "It's a shame. I thought Merlin just didn't trust me. But it seems that he didn't trust anyone. I bet he never even told you about his magic until you were on your deathbed."

Arthur stepped back. "But—"

"That's who he is, Arthur. He was your best friend for nearly ten years. Do you think you actually knew him? No. Those were lies. That's all that ever comes out of his mouth. Lies. You don't know Merlin as well as you think you do, Arthur."

"Don't. Don't. I know what you're doing. You're trying to turn me against Merlin."

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "I'm not trying to do anything. You find out everything Merlin hid from you and that'll happen on its own."

"I trust Merlin. I know that that trust wasn't exactly returned but he was loyal to me. And I'll get the full story from Merlin himself." Arthur snarled.

"Good luck with that. You don't half of the horrors he's committed."

"That's enough." Arthur's voice rose to a sharp yell.

"What?" Morgana couldn't stop herself from goading him on. "You can't take the truth? You're scared. You're scared that when you do eventually find out what Merlin's done, you won't look at him in the same way. You're scared that everything will change."

"I'm not scared. Whatever Merlin's done, I'm sure he had a reason."

Morgana stepped forward again. "You can claim all you want that you're okay with his magic but I know you're terrified of it. You haven't even seen the beginning of what Merlin can do. You're right. Merlin's loyal to you. Unwavering loyal. And you have no idea how dark he's willing to go to make sure that you're safe."

Arthur met her gaze. "What? Darker than you were willing to go to get your throne? To get Camelot? I could go on for hours about the atrocities that you have committed. You're not innocent, Morgana."

"Of course not. I'm saying that there are two sides to every story. And before you judge me for what I've done, maybe take a look at why I did it. Maybe realize that I'm not entirely to blame. Don't yell at me without knowing the whole story." Morgana said, clenching her hands into fists. The two stood there, locked into a staring contest for what felt like forever.

Morgana was the one who broke the stare, looking to the side. "I'm dropping by the shop later this week. You can come with me if you'd like. The sooner the better, yeah?"

And she turned on her heel and left. The moment she closed the door behind her, a sob escaped her throat. She honestly didn't know why she was crying but everything from Gwen's untrusting look to Arthur's dark words sent trembles through her spine. She may put up a confident front but she was more sensitive than she let on. She clapped a hand over her mouth and slid to the ground with a thud, trying to keep her sobs muffled.

And little did she know, Arthur was on the other side of that door, trying to do the same. They both failed.

-0-o-0-

Merlin's loyal to you. Unwavering loyal. And you have no idea how dark he's willing to go to make sure that you're safe.

Morgana's words wouldn't leave Arthur's head. He really knew nothing about what Merlin had done but Arthur liked to think that if he hadn't died, Merlin would've told him everything. But why had Merlin waited so long to tell him anyway? Did he truly believe that Arthur would light the pyre? Arthur clutched his head, trying to expel the thoughts from his head. He could ask Merlin once he's back. If he comes back.

Arthur was outside. He was quickly getting tired of being locked in the shelter and was just laying out on the grass behind the building. A few stars twinkled in the sky but he was disappointed to find that most of them were obscured by the pollution and dust in the air. Arthur remembered when he and Merlin would stretch out in an open clearing while the rest of the knights were asleep whenever they had to camp out overnight. Back in Camelot, there were thousands of stars in the sky. So bright it nearly washed the entire ground silver. It was a shame the stars were all covered up in this new world.

Arthur let out a slow sigh, closing his eyes. Don't yell at me without knowing the whole story. Arthur threw an arm over his face. He knew he was ignorant to half the things that happened in Camelot but Arthur couldn't help but feel that whatever Merlin did, it couldn't possibly justify the horrors that Morgana had committed.

Arthur wanted to talk to her about so many things. When did she know about Merlin? Why was she so committed to seeing him dead? Did Morgana actually raise Lancelot from the dead? What did she do to Gwen in the dark tower? So many questions and no answers and Arthur had a nudging suspicion that if Morgana wouldn't answer him, Merlin could just as well. And Arthur didn't know how that made him feel.

For the first time since he's seen Merlin the day he rose from the lake, he let himself cry. Here, shrouded in the darkness, Arthur knew he was alone and finally broke down. Growing up, he was always told that it was a weakness to cry. That a good king never showed any emotion because then people would take advantage of him. Even now, Arthur felt embarrassed every time he let himself cry from Lancelot's harsh words to get over himself and Morgana's dark looks that almost challenged him to admit that he was scared.

And if he was being honest with himself, he was. He was terrified. And he knew that in the grand scheme of things, Morgana and Merlin's life were much harder than his own but he couldn't help feeling bad for himself because how the hell was this fair? He had died before he truly accomplished anything he was destined to do and he died knowing that everything his best friend, everything the man he loved told him was a lie. He had died and realized that he knew absolutely nothing. Nothing about Camelot and nothing about Merlin. And he was ashamed.

Because what type of king was he if he knew nothing about the daily threats that attacked. What type of friend was he if Merlin couldn't find it in himself to tell him who he truly was. What type of brother was he, if Morgana didn't have enough faith in him to make sure that every citizen of Camelot, magic or not, had a place there. What kind of person was he? Everyone has told him that Merlin had done so much for him but how much? Was any of Arthur's accomplishments truly his own? Or were they all Merlin's? Arthur wouldn't be surprised if they were.

So Arthur cried, uncaring if he was being selfish or childish or unreasonable. He let every single sob that crawled up his throat escape and every single tear reach his chin and drip into the ground. He cried until he couldn't breathe and his vision spotted black and he couldn't control the whimpers that left his mouth.

He let himself break down and forget that his friends were just a couple of feet away. He didn't care. He let himself think of Merlin and his blue eyes and pearly smiles and the lies that flowed like a continuous wave from his mouth. He let himself think of Merlin's innocent looks and bright laughter and tripping feet. He let himself think of Morgana and her knowing looks and curling lips and tilted chin because I'm going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon. He let himself choke on his sobs and think of everything that ever went wrong to force the tears to keep coming because if he stopped then he had to get up and go to sleep and face the people that waited inside and that was the last thing he wanted.

Arthur didn't know how long it had been once his breaths had calmed down but he couldn't stop the slight whimpers that escaped his mouth. Arthur buried his face in his hands and thought of nothing. He waited until he could control himself and curled back into the ground, letting his eyes go unfocused. And when he fell asleep thinking of Merlin, like he always did, he didn't cry. He didn't let his mind wander to what all was hiding behind those eyes. He just thought of the simpler days. And in his dreams, Merlin called, Hey, come on, that's enough.

And Arthur relished in what once was.

-0-o-0-