A/N: Another long one. Thanks to my beta waatp for all the bits you churned out when I was suffering from a huge mental block. I really couldn't get any of this done without your help and support.
Chapter 28
The next morning, you stretch languorously in your bed, feeling a warmth to your soul and a steady calmness to your heart that felt almost strange, foreign.
This tranquility; the feeling of freedom from disturbance was almost surreal, the existence of which was something you had almost forgotten.
You woke up just before the sun rose too high in the sky and had sat back to watch the light creeping in. It was a beautiful sight; a good sign signaling the start of a brand new day, the new beginning just around the corner.
It seems to have crept back on you; a lot like Beca had just a few hours ago. She had turned up and caught you unaware. She had found a way to make you reconsider everything. Damn her and her ways!
But it brought sweet relief; you'd almost forgotten how good it felt to be free, almost completely weightless of it all ... well, not quite all but most of your concerns, you still remembered everything about the competition and such. Last night had cleared at least some things up; it had been a total curveball and you hadn't seen any of it happening, in reality you expected it to turn out much differently especially after everything that had gone down over the last few days.
You rise from your warm and comfortable spot in your bed, untangling yourself first from the warmth of your blankets before you pull back the curtains and push open the small side window to bask fully in the sun's comforting heat. You stand there for a moment just breathing it in. After a few seconds of this, when you deem yourself truly relaxed and ready to start the day that's when you go about the business of hunting about in your cupboard for something to wear.
You've barely slept. Yet, when you look up and catch sight of yourself in the cupboard mirror, as you pause to hold up a top to see if it works with the jeans that you've selected, you're surprised to find that instead of puffy eyes and a drawn, tight, zombie like face like you'd expected to see; you're actually … blooming.
Your complexion is rosy and your eyes are bright. It's not just how you look though; it's apparent in all the other things, all the small touches that only you'd notice that had been wearing you down, all the negative energy, the heavy weight that had been bearing down on you is noticeably lighter. Because of it, your shoulders are lighter and you can totally feel an extra jump to your step.
The beautiful morning, and everything else since you've woken up is putting you in a good mind-set and a winning mood. You feel, dare you say it, almost hopeful. And all because of who …?
Beca.
Beca Freaking Mitchell. You think with much more affection now and with a clarity that you'd not had since you started the competition. An unabashed, wonky smile appears on your face. Yes, she had snuck up on you but she had also stepped up for once, for you apparently. She had promised you that she would keep doing so and that she would make the most of it and work for it. So, you in turn had given her one last chance.
You wonder what this new day would bring for those plans of hers. You feel it again; that little tickly feeling building in your core. Was it giddy excitement at the prospect of things being different but better? You guess you would just have to wait and see.
Speaking of seeing; you can't wait to go and find her.
Beca could still be passed out on your couch, perhaps waiting to be woken up by your kisses. Or she could be wide awake waiting to wake you up with her kisses. You are definitely feeling more awake now as you hurry towards the door.
You stand with bated breath by the door not sure what to expect. Maybe she had gone against your plans? Perhaps she had left already and gone ahead? You're feeling your heart quickening as you reach for your bedroom door handle and you slowly open it to reveal if Beca was still sleeping on the sofa.
Someone else is blocking your view into the lounge. A sliver of dread runs through you. Uh oh! Aubrey's awake! Dun dun dun! And she's scarily looming over a figure that you assume to be Beca; from what you can see of the motionless bulk, who appears to be shrunken back into the sofa cushions.
What was Aubrey doing? Oh my God! Did she … was Beca alright? Had Aubrey kil-
'No, don't be stupid, Chloe!' You tell yourself. 'Aubrey wouldn't do something like that!'
But you take a quick half step forward in panic anyway but you see Beca's foot move … okay, she's alive and she's moving... she's still breathing. You berate yourself for over reacting but what do you expect after only a couple of hours sleep. You turn your thoughts back to your best friend. No seriously, what was Aubrey doing? Was she laying it on her now and did laying it on Beca consist of her finding ways to murder the brunette in her sleep?
Oh no wait, Beca's awake too. And now the rational part of your brain has kicked in, you can hear her, well, them both trying to talk quietly. You don't need to guess what Aubrey's doing, what they're doing, what they're talking about and whom. And you don't even have to try to listen in, their voices are wafting perfectly your way, carrying over the stillness and riding across the tension in the room.
"I know okay. I know." Beca is stage whispering. "And I want to take it all back; everything that I did to Chloe. Usually I'd be all 'I don't have to explain myself to you', but I think you deserve the explanation as you are the true friend here. You have emerged as the victor, while I failed. You deserve to hear what's going on and I understand perfectly well where it is your coming from. I just, uh, I'm in a very complicated position right now. I realize that not only am I attached to someone else, I'm also her coach and I'm new to all of this. But Aubrey, I, uh, I want her. I need her. Okay? I want to be with Chloe, more than I've ever wanted anything in my life and if, for some crazy reason, she may still want to be with me too … if there is something there, no matter how tiny, I'll take it. And I am going to do what I can to win her back. I just wish it could be simple as that even when I know it's anything but ... but I will do everything I can to prove that. I've never meant anything so strongly before in my life. I will make up for everything. I will be the best that I can be for her. I will show her or at the very least try to prove to her every single day that I want her with me."
"It's going to take a lot more than that to get me to approve of this. At the moment, the way you have acted, you are not worthwhile, no, you aren't even worthy of her affections." Aubrey says, and you hear the hint of protectiveness in her voice that she usually reserves for her speeches to your cousin Janet when she has been a particularly spectacular pain in your ass.
"I want to be someone worthy of her love. I'll be that girl 'cos she deserves her. She comes first now. I know it'll have to be secret and on the down low for now but I'm in this for the long haul." Beca says and you know she is trying to get Aubrey on her side. You can hear her voice trail off though as Aubrey stretches up to her full height.
"I won't pretend that I believe you. But I guess there's no harm in letting you work for it, for my approval for two of you, I mean and let me tell you will have to work and I mean work harder than you ever have because Chloe listens to me and I have the best friend say on who she potentially dates. So you better not mess this up ... because the next time you make her cry again, boy will I make you regret it! You'll wish you'd never been born!" Aubrey says, she had been brandishing the pillow in front of her during her entire speech, but this time she's raising it menacingly, almost ominous in it's slow descent above her head.
"Ohmygod!" You breathe through your teeth. Then you think 'Aubrey's going to smother Beca with a pillow!'
"Aubrey! Don't!" You scream and the two react in tandem; Beca jerks before quickly turning her gaze at you at the same time that Aubrey jumps two feet in the air, then spins to look at you, questioningly.
"Don't what!?" She asks confusedly, taking a couple of deep breaths while clutching her chest.
You make your way closer, they both do a pretty good job at rearranging their features to look like they hadn't been talking about you; Aubrey's now beaming, tucking away the pillow innocently.
"Never mind! You're up early, I thought you would have wanted to sleep in after last night?" You say to Aubrey.
"I'd say the same thing about you, but here you are, awake as well and uh, our guest and I were just making conversation-" Aubrey said, innocently, offhandedly.
"-Yeah, I guess we all felt like an early morning start." Beca said, speaking up, as she pushes herself up on the sofa cushions, wincing slightly as she caught her hand. "Aubrey was very considerate waking me up. I guess to check if I was still conscious or something."
"'Cos that would've been so extremely tragic if she never woke up again." Aubrey says straight-faced for a moment, before she cracked a smile. "So y'know I took charge and I made sure as soon as I woke up; I immediately went to check if she needed like a hangover cure or anything-" Aubrey tried to explain.
"-She's just so sweet, so very concerned over my general well being." Beca said, lightly enough through her stiff smile though anyone listening can clearly detect the tiniest bit of a bite in the end of it.
It's almost believable; the act they were putting on but you knew one of them would have to crack eventually, it was just a matter of waiting to see who would do it first.
"So what's the delightful topic that's got you both so engaged so early in the morning?" You pose the question for either of them to answer. The two of them share a quick glance, you see Aubrey's eyes flashing almost in a warning before Beca glances your way and sighs.
"You." Beca said simply before flicking an eye to her left. "Sorry Aubrey."
"Way to go spilling the beans-" Aubrey said, looking thoroughly annoyed, as she slots her hands on her hips.
"-I'm being honest for a change, besides you know she totally heard us! No use covering it up!" Beca sighed. "So, yeah, thanks for the warning slash death threat; nothing quite like waking up to that in the morning." She says sarcasm lacing her fake jovial tone.
Beca tries to get to her feet but Aubrey's arms are there to stop her; her hand pushing her back down on the couch.
"No problem. I've got plenty of those stashed away." Aubrey returns pleasantly. "I'm watching you. One wrong move and you're a dead girl Mitchell." You catch Aubrey saying under her breath, tucking the words into the corner of her mouth.
"Oh Aubrey you shouldn't have. Well, now no one can say that you have been anything but accommodating." Beca replies, the trademark curl to her lip unconsciously appearing.
"No, not at all. It was entirely my pleasure."
"So now that everyone's up. Why don't we, um, let's do breakfast, shall we?" You say, frantically trying to inject some normalcy to relieve the situation.
Aubrey straightens up.
"Breakfast sounds good." Beca quickly gets to her feet, knocking away Aubrey's hand with her unbandaged one.
The electric, slightly tense mood doesn't change throughout breakfast though. You had quickly whipped up a simple tomato and cheese omelet with hot, buttery toast for everyone. The whole affair is rather quiet save for the occasional clink of the cutlery on your plates.
Beca is sitting way across from you at the other end of the table. Aubrey's between the two of you and yet it's as if Beca and you don't feel the distance at all; the two of you stay 'connected', and you feel it all throughout breakfast. In between the tentative smiles she sends your way which you hastily returned, there's also the occasional glances, you're freakishly hyperaware, your senses are tingling with what Beca's doing, following her every action. Similarly, the whole time you feel her eyes on you when she thinks you're not looking, you look up and your eyes meet and you can't help the little smirk as her face reddens at being caught.
"So, can I ask what were you up to last night. I mean what brought you here?" Aubrey asks, eventually breaking the silence.
You turn to Beca awaiting her answer. Of course you knew exactly what went down but you're still curious at how much Beca will reveal of the events of the night and her take on it. How was it all to her. Beca meets your gaze and in that one look it feels as though you are both remembering everything, feeling all of it; the energy…the unexpectedness of it all surge through you.
There had been the battling of pride and anger, love and hate and after all of it had been exhausted it had given way to forgiveness, then eventually acceptance.
"Am I talking to myself here?" Aubrey asks, breaking through your moment.
"Huh? What? Beg your pardon?" Beca asks, her face still looks a tad bit distracted, she only just manages to return her attention to Aubrey.
"I'm asking you what was with that behavior the other night?" Aubrey says stiffly polite, you know she's having a difficult time reining in her impatience her annoyance with all things Beca but that she was trying for your sake.
"I uh, had a, um, a bit too much to drink-" Beca began to stutter her explanation.
"-I totally didn't guess that one! Seriously, way to state the obvious. Care to say why? And does the reason have anything to do with what happened to your face?" Aubrey asked, a small smirk appearing on her face.
"What's wrong with my face?" Beca asks, one of her hands flying up to her face to feel or rub away at whatever the offending matter was. "Ow!" She winces when she her fingers land on her right cheek, a reaction to the pain from both her hand and her face or just one you aren't quite sure.
You're on your feet in an instant and move quickly around the table to her side.
"Are you okay? How's the hand?" You ask, glancing down as she nestles her hand in her lap.
"There's something wrong with your hand too?" Aubrey asks skeptically, leaning back in her chair.
"No, it's my face apparently." Beca deadpans in Aubrey's direction.
"Sorry Beca, there's nothing you can do about that. It's already there and not so easy to change!" Aubrey says, laughing. "Unless you want to spend a lot of money fixing that, which, oh yeah I'm totally forgetting who I'm talking to;you totally have ... so feel free!"
The two of you choose to ignore her.
You're taking Beca's face in your hands gently, tilting it to the light in order to see better and there, marring her otherwise flawless face, is a rapidly developing bruise, small enough not to spot immediately yet as it was near enough to her ear to be hidden partially by her hair (but seeing as Aubrey spots every tiny little thing, you're not surprised she saw it). It was obviously already a dark angry color. You feel a jolt of pure guilt and some parts wonder that you had done this to her.
"What is it?" Beca asks, her eyes questioning, taking your hand from her cheek, keeping a hold on it, probably longer than most people would deem necessary but she clearly didn't want to let go.
"There's a bruise forming. I'm so sorry." You say and you see the realization dawning on Beca's face, the memory of the day before flooding back.
"Why are you apologizing to her? It's not like it was your fault." Aubrey says, giving you a very strange look. "Or was it ... wait, you did this to her?" Aubrey's face twitches, she fails at keeping the straight face she's so desperately trying to administer. She's clearly amused, her eyes are glinting with barely suppressed glee.
You glare at her until she returns her features to normal.
"Ahem, I'm not sure whether to be surprised, scared, impressed, proud or all of the above-"
"-I didn't mean to slap her. It just happened." You protest.
"How can you 'just happen' to slap someone?" Aubrey air quotes as she continues her line of questioning, the lawyer within her never quite suppressed completely. "And honey, you don't just get a bruise from a light slapping, you clearly did more than that. I think you must have backhanded her."
"I deserved it anyway." Beca said, defending you immediately.
"I'm pretty sure you did!" Aubrey comments, under her breath which you catch but you're not sure whether Beca does.
Aubrey's definitely trying, almost itching, to start something. No, actually wanting to continue from where Beca and her had left off; where they were getting to before you had turned up. It was bubbling just under the surface and you made your mind up to speak to her after breakfast to tell her that all was well and to cool her jets.
"No! I shouldn't have gotten physical." You continue to say in earnest, feeling the regret, the shame racing through you. You're not one to get physical, in fact, you avoided it at all costs, you're certainly not one to resort to violence, to lose your head despite the whole 'redheads being feisty, snarky and soulless' thing, till Beca stirred things up. She tended to make you lose control of yourself, and sometimes not in a good way.
"Chloe. It's totally alright-" Beca begins to say, her smile's reassuring and her eyes are softening as she holds your gaze.
"-Stop saying it is, when it's not!" You say, just stopping short of screeching annoyed that she won't let you feel guilty about it. "I practically ruined your face."
"-Might improve the look." Aubrey mutters, as she picks up her glass, taking an overly large gulp of juice.
"You ruined my face?" Beca's face looks astounded, then she barks out a laugh. "What did you break it or something? Am I like some fragile little doll?"
"Stop trying to make me laugh. It isn't funny."
"It is! Well, sort of."
"I agree the picture you're painting is hilarious. Chloe is usually so non-confrontational, it's almost ridiculous and I find it hard to believe. Therefore, as actions speak louder than words, I think a re-enactment is in order. Do it again!" Aubrey butts in.
The both of you turn to Aubrey who quickly closes her mouth but she's still failing at holding in her amusement.
"Your make up crew is going to have a hard time covering it up! The press is going to have a field day!"
"Uh, well my make up girl is excellent at what she does so ... but it's really not needed as I totally pull of a bruise."
"Oh yes, the resident badass in the house." Aubrey mirthed. "Well, purple and blue suits you. You sure you don't need someone to even it out though?" She asks sounding like she's not entirely joking.
Beca turns to Aubrey; her face serious.
"Why don't you try it and let's just see what'll happen." The air stills. Aubrey's face too splits into a challenging glare, her hand forms a fist.
"Don't mind if I do." Aubrey turns to Beca making a show of cracking her knuckles.
"Bring it aca-bitch!" Beca seethes.
"I've already brought it aca-slut!"
"Okay, can you two just quit it!?" You can't help barking, both scared and tired of their bitchy talk. "Seriously, can't you manage to mellow down even just for a few seconds." The two backed off each other, though from the looks Aubrey's raised eyebrow, dagger eyes and crossed arms, and Beca's little smirk, it may not last for long.
"So Chloe, you smacked her really good …" She says first smiling at you, then sneering tauntingly at Beca. "... and then what Beca? You liked it rough and you wanted more? I don't get why you still had to come crawling back here."
"Like I said, it wasn't her fault. She was provoked … I provoked her into doing that to me and so I came to make things right with Chloe."
"How did you see yourself doing that when you were completely off your face? That plan wasn't so well thought through, was it?" Aubrey so very snidely says, a smirk playing on her lips."Were you just planning on winging it, hoping and banking on that Beca Mitchell charm to push you through it?"
You can sense Beca's oncoming retort but you cut it dead before the two of them decide to fight it out.
"I thought she got her message across perfectly well actually." You say and Beca's attention is on you again. She catches your eye and you see hers twinkling happily. You feel the smile stretch completely unhibited across your face and see hers brightening in return.
"I'm sure it's just plain great!" Aubrey says, cutting through your smile and staring fest, her irritation now clearly apparent. "Falling for and just plain fawning over whatever crap she dishes out."
"What's wrong with you Bree?" You ask, keeping your tone as neutral as possible.
"Oh really? What's wrong with me? Me!?" Aubrey squeaked out. Though by the sound of it, it had quickly jumped past mere irritation to absolute fury.
Then again it might've not been the best idea to ask her; it had opened Pandora's Box and given Aubrey leeway to be thoroughly, almost painfully blunt about everything.
"Shouldn't you be asking yourself that?" Aubrey's saying making you wince, "Or even this midget that you so easily allowed entrance last night after she left you broken and crying. Twice I hasten to add. Or actually way too many times than I can count."
You stiffen up. Shit, she knows. Wait, she knows or was she just speculating?
"Allowed her entrance? She didn't ... we didn't even-" You start to protest, to cover up but Beca's saying something entirely different.
"-We were just talking!" She says evenly, not quite helping the situation.
"When I said allowed her entrance Chloe, I was pertaining to the house, not your room or anywhere else that I don't need to know about ... but you both obviously just confirmed it!"
You color up, feeling shamed. You weren't sure what you had been hoping for. You had thought by asking, and hearing her out that you'd be able to appease her in some way and normally that'd work whenever the two of you had problems. Normally Aubrey could be level headed, even calm about this and could be talked into some sense but with Beca's presence setting her off there wasn't a chance.
You stare at Aubrey, feeling like a naughty child.
She directs her glare solely at Beca now.
"And you think I didn't know it was you who started it when you snuck in to Chloe's room. You are seriously unbelievable preying on her when she's her most weak, vulnerable, submissive self."
"And TALKING?! Is that what you call it these days? Talking?! Yes, I'm sure you got a lot of that done! I heard plenty of the 'talking' you did last night." Your brows come together and you aren't sure if you understood or heard her correctly, what was she getting at. "I don't know if I was clear enough a while ago but I absolutely detest what's happening here with the two of you but I especially don't like the idea of my best friend pairing up with the likes of you." She spits out with blatant disgust.
Wait a minute.
Of the many Aubrey things that you had experienced over the years, one that stood out was her peculiar ways of speaking or coming up with terms that meant something else … usually for lascivious acts as she hated being crass and her special use of the words paired up and everything else she was implying is suddenly clear to you; she thought that something more had happened between the two of you last night and that Beca had almost sort of seduced you into doing so.
You open your mouth, or rather it drops open in mild outrage and astonishment, it takes a while for you to gather your words to speak out but you're too appalled and Beca beats you to it.
"We didn't pair up last night!" Beca protested, shooting a glance your way. "We just … came to some sort of understanding, um, between the two of us."
"The two of you aren't fooling anyone you know, me at the very least. Sound travels! And you couldn't even contain to just the bedroom, you had to go to the bathroom and dirty that haven. You weren't too quiet in there either, I heard you knocking everything about. And in case you didn't notice or somehow it didn't occur to you, there's a reason people like the showers to practice singing in … good acoustics … so yeah, all the moaning and groaning; well it reverberated all the way to my room." She cringes, clutching at her stomach; a sign you've come to recognize but then recovers enough to continue talking.
"Chloe, I've known you too long, mopped up too many tears and watch you overdose on Ben & Jerry's once too many to not have seen you at your worst. Well, I thought that was the worst but this ... was just beyond the pail. I thought you had more conviction in you." She shakes her head, heavy with disappointment. She sneers at Beca. "And as for you Mitchell, I just don't buy your shit! You tell me you want to win her back? And that you had to come up with some bullshit good intentions like you're asking for my approval or something when the two of you already clearly have made up." She shakes her head in apparent scorn and disbelief. "You are untrustworthy, deceitful and you wear far too much eye makeup. So you are definitely the wrong type of person for my best friend." Aubrey bites, a confidence to her voice.
"What?-" Beca asks, taking the bait immediately.
"-Aubrey … you have to stop, that's not what happened." You start to protest straight away, talking over Beca but Aubrey doesn't bother to look your way, like her whole concentration is set on burning a hole into Beca's brain with her eyes. "Beca didn't try anything, she just wanted to ta-"
"-No, it's okay." Beca says, interrupting you in mid flow. Her face is smooth and calm; patiently steeling herself for what she knows is going to be bad if it was coming out of Aubrey's mouth. "Go on Aubrey. Get it off your chest. I know you got cut short a while ago. No use bottling it in anymore."
"You famous people are all alike." Aubrey starts. "You are all so full of yourselves. You, Beca Whatever-Your-Middle-Name-Is Mitchell-"
"-Marie." You supply almost automatically, the two of them spare you a glance; Aubrey looking annoyed. Beca's still frowning but her mouth had twitched, she had nearly slipped for a second, she had been so close to forming that mischievous grin before falling back into that expressionless mask that she used on the show or when answering interview questions that she really didn't want to answer.
"Beca-Whatever-Mitchell-" Aubrey continues, getting worked up as she unleashes her thoughts, her face now red. "-are a total pretentious, controlling, manipulative, drama queen, you enjoy, no, you crave the attention, you can't survive when you're not in the center of it all. And, and, and with Chloe you get all that for free because she's so enamored by you and your freaking act, that she can't see straight let alone think straight."
"Aubrey!" You protest immediately as your best friend takes a moment to pause for breath. She has however, not yet finished with her verbal assault.
"But like I said, you don't fool me. There was a time when I thought you could sort your shit out long enough to be worthy of my best friend's time and effort but you proved me wrong thankfully." She raises her finger and prods Beca hard in the chest a prod for each syllable "So now, we can be rid of you permanently."
"Ow." Beca comments, but says nothing else. Aubrey lowers her hand but continues to glare at Beca.
"Think about last night and how we took you in, letting you stay and looking after you. Take that as our way of showing you how it's like for us decent folk to treat other people nicely, even the ones that don't deserve it." She announces with a flourish, even giving a little nod at the end to signal her convictions.
"Aubrey?" You try once more to get Aubrey to listen to you. You cast an eye towards Beca trying to gauge her expression and you are admittingly surprised mostly greatly relieved to see that she still remains reasonably calm. Though her frown has deepened and there's an almost sour tinge coating that once amused twist to her mouth. You see how she imperceptibly shakes her head your way signaling for you to stop trying.
"If it were up to me, I'd want you out of here, and I'd be glad to never see your face around these parts ever again." Aubrey continues and you worry how long this session is going to last.
"Aubrey!" You say, as loudly as you can without shouting.
"Don't 'Aubrey' me Chloe! You are letting your heart rule your head again. You aren't thinking straight with-" Aubrey's rant is curtailed by a phone ringing.
Beca pats her pockets as she realizes it's hers. She pulls the phone from her pocket, frowning hard as she looks at the screen. She silences the call and slips the phone back in her pocket.
"Sorry." She says, forcing a smile before turning back to Aubrey, her eyes downcast. Aubrey uncharacteristically flounders for a second, having lost her train of thought. "You were saying how Chloe wasn't thinking straight?" Beca offers.
"Yes, thank you." Aubrey says politely before catching herself with what she said to Beca, shooting her a look as if to dare Beca to acknowledge her niceties. "Chloe, you cannot-"
Beca's phone rings in her pocket and you and Aubrey both glance towards her. She sighs heavily before digging around in her pocket again and thumbing the screen on her phone.
"Yes?!" She says irritably. There is a moment or two of awkward silence as she listens to the caller on the other end. "Not really. I'm with friends at the moment."
Aubrey eyeballs you as Beca motions towards your bedroom, signaling that she's going to take the call in there.
"It's … I have to take this." She mutters, a hint of regret in her tone.
You nod acquiescing. She casts a wary glance at Aubrey who rolls her eyes.
"Saved by the phone, whatever just get out of my sight." She says, cattily.
Beca nods, then walks over to your room and nudges the door behind her but it doesn't close completely and due to the slanting nature to your apartment, it slowly opens as Beca takes a spot by the window.
Aubrey and you watch her as she talks on the phone. You can't quite hear what she's saying but she doesn't look happy as she fiddles with the curtains. She turns and catches you both looking at her.
Aubrey has the good graces to turn away, pretending to find an advertising leaflet very interesting.
Whatever it is she's discussing, with whomever it was on the other line, she spares a moment directing her attention entirely to you. She smiles at you over the conversation she's having when she sees you still staring, and mouths 'work' then rolls her eyes and mimes choking herself, which you know she's doing to get you to laugh which you concede to do. Beca's attention goes back to her talking or rather listening to the caller.
"Chloe … Chloe?" Aubrey's voice breaks through your reverie. "Chloe!"
"Huh?" You utter quietly, shaking yourself out of it. "Sorry, you were saying?"
Aubrey has this look on her face; it's her normal, concerned face but there's something else; a certain sadness, almost akin to pity laced across her defined features.
"I'm just extremely worried about your well being, that's basically what I was saying." Aubrey begins to explain.
"Look, I know that you aren't happy with what's happening but I need you to trust me on this. Please Bree?" You ask, pleading with her to understand and loving her protectiveness at the same time.
"Chloe, look I know you don't want to hear this but things can't just change drastically overnight." Aubrey explains. "People can't; not the ones who aren't serious about pursuing the matter anyway which Beca certainly isn't-"
You want to say that you knew that... but that you'd already made up your mind about Beca but that wasn't quite true.
"-How would you know what she isn't willing to do?" You ask instead, wanting to get an answer for that as well.
"Come on Chlo, you know in your heart of hearts that Beca's not going to go the distance here and go through with this. She's just not made that way. And it's just that the two of you have such a long way to go, until you're ready for the whole being together aspect of it all."
"I know I shouldn't have let her in but I swear what Beca said was the truth; nothing happened. Well nothing's a light word as a lot physically happened last night."
Aubrey's eyes turned worried her hand immediately find its way to cover her ears. She winces slightly but you carry on regardless.
"Many things transpired but not in the manner you're thinking." You say, keeping the tone light. Aubrey slowly, cautiously lowers her hands and you proceed to recount the almost surreal events of the night until early morning just a few hours ago.
"Huh! I see, so she was hurt and bleeding and in need of your help and you just-"
"-I couldn't help it-" Bree! I 'just'-." You say, not just in response to her but to everything; the whole Beca and you dilemma. You bite your lip, feeling all kinds of pathetic and weak hearing Aubrey recounting it made it worse
"-I know." Aubrey interrupts, placing a hand on your arm, her face softening. "You're you and Beca … well, she's Beca. It was bound to happen anyway. I just wished it was under better circumstances. Not just better but completely different circumstances, far, far away from everything."
"Me too. But how else was I going to meet her?" You ask, wistfully.
"If fate meant for you to be together, you'd have found a way, as you two already did ... I guess." Aubrey concedes, a slight budge in her voice and demeanor.
"It actually sounds like you could be warming up to the idea!" You laugh.
"I wouldn't go that far!" Aubrey joins you with a laugh of her own, pulling you in for an embrace. You needed that hug more than you realized and you envelope her back, settling into her shoulder.
"I can't help wanting to protect you, you know that."
"I know." You murmur back.
"Especially against emotionally challenged idiots like-"
You are startled out of your moment by Beca walking back into the kitchen.
"-Um, Aubrey? Could you please give us a moment?" She asks at the same time Aubrey mutters 'Perfect timing.' under her breath.
Aubrey pulls away from you, squeezing your arm and she stands and nods at Beca. She heads to her room, throwing a look over her shoulder; a look that Beca acknowledges as she takes Aubrey's spot at the table and Aubrey retires to her room. She leaves the door slightly ajar. You glance at it knowing Aubrey's listening in now but Beca requires your attention and you shift it to her.
"Hey you." Beca says, fingering her hair and swallowing a couple of times. "I, uh, need to tell you something."
"What?" You ask, playfully, grinning at her seriousness trying to mask the sudden spike of nerves.
"I'm leaving-" Beca says.
"-On a jet plane?" You say jokingly.
"No, I mean-" Beca begins to speak.
"-Yeah I got that! I know you can't stay here forever." You tease.
"No, I mean the country ... I'm going away for a couple of days, maybe two or three it hasn't been decided yet." She says, her voice wavering a little at the end.
"Okay, what's with the serious look? And the tone; you almost had me worried." You say and her mouth lifts a bit though her eyes remain distressed. You feel a drop in your mood, feeling weary but you try to keep up the humorous tone. "Should I be? It's not like you're not coming back or is that it?"
Beca shakes her head.
"Where are you going anyways?" You ask.
"London." She says simply. Your heart gives a dull thud.
"Oh." You finally say, your voice coming out small and weedy, before you clear it, the next delivery coming out stronger, trying to sound unaffected and nonchalant. "To be with …?"
Jesse.
You can't bring yourself to say his name out loud. That particular name attached to that brand of villain had always left you with a bitter after taste in your mouth. You aren't too surprised that he hadn't crossed your mind at all; you rarely gave him the time of day and hardly spared a second dwelling on the thought of them (Beca and him together) since he left, let alone thinking about it, the exception being last night. And yet now it comes back with a vengeance, a real kick in your gut; the worry amped way up, the sick feeling, the sordid thought that you hadn't physically needed him being there for things to fall apart. The two of you had managed quite well on your own.
"Not to 'be with him' be with him, but I will be seeing him there and we'll be hanging out for a bit." She easily explains.
"Okay then. What is this then? Are you like asking for permission, some sort of validation or something?" You ask, unable to hide the snark in your voice coming from feeling insecure and just plain old jealous and scared.
"No I just, I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know everything-"
"-What? Is that supposed to do make me feel better knowing you're off doing God knows what with him?" You spit out, unable to hold back any longer.
"We won't! I wouldn't! I'm committed to you now." Beca says, earnestly.
"Really, what guarantee do I have that you won't suddenly change your mind as you are prone to do? And it's not like you'll be doing anything wrong. I mean, you two are still engaged right, you are still his."
"Chloe? I, I said I'm done running and I mean it. I'm saying it again now; I'm not going to run anymore. I'm here and I'll be here for the long run."
"You've said that, along with a couple of other hasty promises last night. So, how am I supposed to keep doing this Beca, when every time you promise me something you go back on your word immediately the next morning!"
"I am not going back on my word!" She spits out. You can't help scoffing out loud in response. She frowns. "I'm not! It's not like I had any control over this-" Beca speaks with precision, trying to get you to understand what she's saying.
"-You've been saying similar things along that line lately."
"Chloe! I don't want to go but I have to, okay… it's my job." She pauses squeezes her eyes shut, massages her temples. "Can we please, please not fight?" She begs tiredly. You're not quite ready to let it go but you decide to budge just a little bit on her request.
"So when do you have to leave?" You ask, angrily but not without sadness.
"Um, that's the thing." She lets out everything sounding like a slow unending sigh. "I have to go now. Hank is already on his way here." Beca admits.
"Oh." You simply say.
"I know, it's such bad timing and everything-" Beca says, hesitant in her approach but you reach out and allow her to make the last connection, so that she's now touching your forearm. It's enough for now. The two of you stay there in silence not quite knowing what to say. The time was dwindling and you don't know why more than ever it feels important to do something, to say something to grasp on to the remaining promises, the hope whispered into the early morning.
"Can I come to the airport with you?" You ask and it's out of your mouth before you fully grasp what you're asking and your expression falls, feeling like a total idiot when her face suddenly tenses.
The silence almost becomes unbearable. You open your mouth to take it back but Beca's speaking over you.
"I want you to." She says slowly, her eyes burning. "Chloe, you don't know how much … I wish I could take you with me." Beca's face turns apologetic, sad almost defeated. "But it's probably not a good idea."
You knew that you were only just trying to find a way to keep her close to you for as long as possible. And you think she understands that.
"The paps are out in full force today because of Stella McCartney's new launch and I wouldn't want-" Beca trails off, her eyes grow tired and worried as she continues to rub your arm.
"-Yeah, I get it. You don't want to be seen with me." You say, almost sullenly.
"No, it's not that at all." She says quickly, her grip tightening temporarily, eyes darting about. "It'll be busy there today. And also, with Barb's comments from a few weeks ago, it'll just be easier to say-" She tries to explain better but is interrupted by a car horn outside.
*beep beep*
She grips you to her and hurriedly speaks out,
"I need to keep you away from all that. But besides not wanting our goodbyes to be shouted out across a concourse, there's that painful image of me having to walk away from you. With you there I won't be able to manage getting on the plane, truth be told, I'm not even sure I can go now."
You move to the living room window and see Beca's car draw up outside.
"There's my ride so I guess ... I can't get out of it now. So much for hoping it wouldn't be able to make it here." She says and sighs long and hard as she joins you by the window. "This will have to be a goodbye."
"I know. So don't be a stranger." You say lamely wanting to ask ... not knowing how to ask, if you were allowed to ask but you were running out of time so you go ahead and push through.
"Promise me something." You say more than ask.
"Anything." She says, fervently.
"Keep in touch while you are gone. Just whenever you can. So you know, I know you are thinking of me." You say, acutely aware of how vulnerable you sound and yet you try to laugh it off, rolling your eyes trying not to be so obvious about it, not wanting to come off as entirely needy.
"You are never out of my thoughts." She admits her hand reaches out to cup your face, her touch so gentle, so delicate, so loving, so unlike what you imagine she'd be like. She rests it there for a second her eyes tracing over your features and your face colors when for a split second she seems to forget herself, and traces your lips with her thumb, her mouth nearing as if to kiss you but there isn't enough time and you knew that the whole being able to let her leave thing would become all the more difficult, almost virtually impossible. You pull away slightly and she then drops it to your shoulder and squeezes. "But yes, I'll text, call and Facetime whenever I can. I know it's not the same but it'll have to do for now."
Beca pulls you in for a hug, digging her fingers in tightly around your shoulders. You lay your hands tightly around her back, squeezing her in as hard as you can. You actually sniff her hair too.
"Keep up the vocal exercises. Rest as much as you can. Drink plenty. And ..." Beca says as you pull apart. "... and be good."
"Aye, aye Captain." You say, offering her a mock salute.
Beca pats her pockets, and fishes around in the left inside one for a second, before pulling out her car keys.
"Look after my car for a couple of days?" She asks.
"Of course." You reply, taking the keys from her. You can feel your eyes smarting a little, you don't want to say goodbye, when things were finally starting to get resolved. It feels like you are leaving everything on a cliffhanger.
"Look, maybe, what if, um, no, how about I don't go-" She begins to say, her eyes earnest,
"-Just go. Go on. I'll see you soon." You say, not giving yourself a second to consider this, giving her the smallest of pushes towards your front door. You certainly don't want Hank waking up the neighbors if he has to sound the horn again.
"Chloe ... I ..."
"I'll miss you too." You say, fiercely. "Text me when you land if you can and um, are not too busy." You say, wanting to ask what she'll be doing in London but you can't quite bring yourself to deal with the answer if it involved Jesse too much.
"I will." Beca said, with her hand on your front door. "See you soon, OK?"
"OK!" You say, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.
Her fingers linger on her cheek for a second before she pulled the door open. The whoosh sound reverberated around the living room and you sense Aubrey's bedroom door opening as Beca stepped outside. She pulled her sunglasses from her pocket, fixing them to her face as she lightly jogged down your steps and onto the path.
You saw Hank jump out of the car and open the back door for her. She paused as she reached the kerb, turned and kissed her fingers before waving at you.
You wave back as cheerfully as you can as she bundled herself into the back of the car. She turned back to wave again as Hank pushes the door shut and climbed back into the driver's seat.
You continue to watch as he drives off, leaning as casually as you can against the door jamb. You wait until you can no longer see the car, then you step back into the living room, acutely aware of Aubrey's eyes on you.
"You okay?" She asks and you are actually fine. Just a tiny bit sad that it all had to come to a stop so abruptly.
"I'm good!" You say brightly. "We'll be in touch while she is gone. It's just hitting me ... that I'll probably have to get used to her doing this."
"Doing what?" Aubrey asks, moving into the room to be closer to you.
"Disappearing at the drop of a hat like that. She is a busy girl. In demand. You know?" You say, not quite sure where to put your eyes. You place Becas' car keys on the small table by your front door.
"Sure you are OK? You're not wigging out on me, are you?" Aubrey asks you.
"I'm fine. I'm going to clear up the breakfast things and go for a run or something." You say, working hard at summoning enough energy to come off as cheery.
"Okay Chlo." Aubrey says, looking mightily unconvinced, totally not buying your act. "I've got to get to work. You call me if you need anything. I mean it ... anything at all. "
"I will." You say, as you head over to the table to begin to clear everything away. "Oh, and Bree?"
"Yes?" She says, pausing at her bedroom door.
"Thanks for everything last night." You say, sincerely.
"It's totes fine, Chloe. It's what sisters are for, right?" She smiles gently now, she's being all supportive and understanding and you appreciate it.
"Right. But, thanks." You smile at her, before busying yourself with the breakfast things.
"No need for thanks. We are beyond that now. I'm going to help you get everything sorted and fixed and put back to the way it was so all you have to do is concentrate on moving forward, getting on with everything." Aubrey says, nodding towards your bedroom.
"How do you mean?" You ask, wondering how involved Aubrey was going to be in your whatever-it-is with Beca if she was making those bold statements already. You didn't really need a babysitter.
"Have you so easily forgotten your little psychotic episode, mental breakdown, psychological meltdown or whatever you want to call it from last night?" She asks.
"My what?" You say. "Last night? Look nothing happened with Beca-"
"- Yeah, I believe you already! But I meant before she turned up drunk as a skunk and you'd decided to completely redecorate your Beca shrine, um, sorry your 'bedroom' to something less obsessive."
"Oh!" You say, cringing slightly at the memory, remembering your ripping your posters and mementoes off the wall and stuffing everything into trash bags. It seemed like it happened weeks ago.
"I know some of those things were important and expensive so as a gift, I'll salvage what I can for you." Aubrey says kindly.
"You don't have to do that." You say, knowing Aubrey was trying to make up for her behavior from before however resistance was futile when Aubrey set her mind to doing something.
"I know I don't have to do anything. I want to. And because you don't expect it, that's why I'll do something."
"Thanks Bree, really, thank you."
"Welcome. Now, I really have to go to work. Have a good day, okay, and I'll be home at the normal time."
You both hug just before she leaves and you idly think of how much you've been missing the receiving and giving of a warm hug these past few dark days. You were a huggy kinda person both giving and receiving wise so to not feel like hugging was totally not normal to you ... but for once it had felt too stifling and you hadn't wanted it. Right now, however, more than ever you needed another person's arms around you to keep you steady, make you feel whole, wanted, needed, loved and Aubrey's arms would do. It made you feel safe, sheltered and it was almost unbelievable how much such a small gesture meant to you, how much comfort it gave.
You are determined to keep yourself busy and not worry about Beca being in London so you make a mental note to write a list of things you need to get done before she gets back. The little jobs you have been putting off for weeks. Starting with cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Aubrey is meticulously neat but even she doesn't move the fridge away from the wall to clean behind it. You decide to make a start as soon as she has gone to work.
After your goodbyes that morning and Aubrey's slightly over the top farewell hug, you begin your tasks. You want to keep busy and stop your mind from wandering.
You do like spending time on your own, you enjoy your own company; getting lost in your own thoughts. But now, it almost feels dangerous. Because these days it's the ripest moment for when you're most likely to start over thinking everything.
'Did I just forgive Beca a bit too quickly? A bit too eagerly?' You think to yourself, as you begin to clean behind the cooker. You try to reason with yourself, the angel and the devil on your shoulders playing havoc with your thoughts. You shake yourself as you move to sweep the living room floor.
"She came in with her fancy speech and bowled me over again, didn't she?" You say out loud as you brush the dust and crumbs into a pan. "But I think I wanted that ... didn't I?"
As you busy yourself for the next couple of hours, a million thoughts run through your mind;
'Was everything moving too fast?'
'How'd it go from all cute and happy and bubbly in the beginning to this?'
'Where you ready for anything else that the universe would decide to throw at you?'
'Could Beca and you function normally … were you meant for this new stage in your relationship?
You move your attention to your bedroom but being back in there overwhelms you a little and you suddenly feel the effects of the night before and the little sleep you had. You sink on to the rug by your bed, randomly picking at the threads until your fingers are covered in little, wooly fibres.
You continue to pick away as you think of all the activities you need to do to fill the next couple of days. You wanted to keep busy, you had to be. You don't want to become that girl; the kind whose entire life revolved around their significant other, so numbed by their utter dependence that with their absence comes complete uselessness and helplessness, moping around, questioning the whole point of their existence, eagerly awaiting the other's call before they can do anything with their day.
But you can feel yourself slipping into that role; it happened the very moment Beca said she would text you, call you and find you on Facetime and you knew that you would be eagerly awaiting for that to happen.
And you know you shouldn't have been waiting for a call this quick as you knew she was busy but you couldn't help missing her already even though only a couple of hours had passed.
You only stop short of putting a hole in the rug when you phone buzzes on your nightstand. You snake a lazy hand up to grab it, fully expecting it to be Aubrey checking up on you and reminding you to eat lunch.
You thumb your screen as you shake the curls out of your eyes and scroll down to your messages.
Message 11.15: Beca – I'm on the plane. Sorry I had to rush off like that. Taking off in a few minutes but just wanted to say hey before I go. So hey! Will send you a message when I land. :)
You quickly type back a message to wish her a safe journey while your heart is doing elaborate somersaults. It still does funny things to your insides when the notion crosses your mind that of all the people in the world she could have messaged, she had chosen you. You feel like doing a happy dance but maintain some sort of level of dignity!
Her message gives you renewed vigor and you decide to head to the studios for a few hours to get some vocal training for the upcoming show. You call for one of the studio cars to come for you before diving into the shower, finishing in record time as you throw on some clean clothes.
You send a quick message to Aubrey to let her know where you are going just in case she calls you and you don't answer. She messages back instantly to say she'll sort dinner out that evening.
You grab your coat and your purse as you leave the house, glad you opted not to take Beca's car in case that caused all manner of confusion at the studios. The car is waiting for you as you skip down the steps, beaming at the driver who gives you a strange look but returns the smile.
You spend a comfortable afternoon on your one-on-one with Anna, and your throat holds out well with very little pain. She lets you go after several hours with your promise not to over do it that evening and spend it quietly at home. This was something you had every intention of doing anyway as you wanted to wait in for Beca's text.
Aubrey had cooked your favorite meal and you could smell it from outside as you got home and you questioned what you had done to deserve such fine food.
"You worked hard today!" She said pleasantly, as she served you. You know this was her way of an apology as well for much much earlier. "The place was positively gleaming when I got home."
You didn't realize how hungry you were until you started eating and only just realized you had skipped lunch. The meal passed easily with you both sharing your day and soon enough you were plopped in front of the television, laughing together at a rom com you both had seen a dozen times.
The emotions of the day had gotten to you and before you were aware, you had nodded off on the sofa, your legs resting over Aubrey's and your head dunked into the cushions. You hadn't known how truly tired you had been until you woke early the next morning, covered in one of Aubrey's blankets.
Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you quickly located your phone to find out the time only to see that it had already gone past 8.30. You immediately spied a message in your inbox and quickly scrolled down to read it.
Message 00.25: Beca – Morning Chloe. Well, I caught the first flight out to London. I know I said that I'd call you when I landed but I had to get to the hotel and stuff. I wanted to say that I'm missing you and all that. I would've called to really say that to you but I didn't wanna wake you. So you're hopefully sleeping well and I hope you are dreaming of me. Wow, I wanted to play that line straight but that sounds, well it reads weird. So ... Scratch that. But I do hope you do have sweet dreams none the less. I'll call you at about 6pm your time and we'll have a catch up then. Don't miss me too much or hopefully at least not as much as I'm missing you.. :)
6pm couldn't come soon enough. Today was another You day. You had the Muppets movie 'Me Party' song as a soundtrack as you spend the rest of the day singing out.
I look around
And once again I'm on my own
My man ain't here
He's gone and done me wrong
No one's gonna stop
This girl from having fun
I throw my hands up high
And have a party for one!
I'm having a me party!
A party by myself
A me party!
I don't need nobody else.
I'm having a me party!
I'm the first and last to show!
There's no one at this party
That I don't already know!
I'm not gonna sit around
By myself and wait for you
Haven't you heard?
One is the new two!
I'm gonna make a scene
I'm gonna make a fuss!
Tonight I'm gonna celebrate with
Just the one of us!
I'm having a me party!
I don't need no invitation!
A me party!
I just love the conversation!
Me party!
You do the math, Frog!
It means I don't need you!
I won't lie,
There are times
When I wish I was with you
There are days when all this girl can see
Is a world that's made for two
At times like this I feel alone
And it's like nobody cares
But I only have to call my name
And darling I'll be there!
I'm having a me party!
Haven't I seen me here before?
Having a me party!
I'm the last one on the dance floor!
Me party!
A party just for moi!
Me party!
This is solo mardi gras!
Me party!
I'm such good company!
Me party!
I save the last dance for me!
What happens at a Me Party
Stays at a me partay-yay-yay.
You having fun belting out while you're sorting out your sock drawer, rearranging the cushions on the sofa, doing some laundry, even alphabetizing the books on your bookshelf; anything to help the time pass more quickly.
Every time your phone pinged with a message, you'd scramble to get it out of your pocket, hoping it was a message from Beca. And while you loved Fat Amy to bits, you wholeheartedly wished she wouldn't send you so many pictures and jokes. You declined an invitation to an evening out with the girls, preferring to stay in and wait for your call.
After accomplishing all the things on your to do list with at least fifteen minutes to spare, you decide that it's time to start getting ready. This was going to be your first Facetime chat and much like a first date you wanted to be fully prepped and perfect for it.
You were seated on the sofa again at five to six, your hair is washed again and your makeup freshly done. You've even got changed into one of your favourite outfits and put polish on your nails.
You were waiting for her call right now as promised. Okay countdown time. four minutes. three. two. Hmm was there time for one more round of 'Me Party' ?
There wasn't- you jump as the phone starts to ring. Beca gets to you right on the dot, fulfilling her promise. You are surprised and if honest, you fall for her a little bit more feeling comforted in the thought that it wasn't just you wanting and full out anticipating, feeling the need to bridge the distance between the two of you as soon as possible. You are so busy being happy, you almost forget to swipe to answer the call.
"Hey there!" You call out as her face appears on your screen.
"H!" She breathed out, her smile as wide as can be. Your heartbeat speeds and simultaneously slows when you look at her, whenever you're at the receiving end of that smile ... cos just damn. She looked so good.
"Well you look really pretty! Is there a special occasion or some fancy event that you have to go to?" You say, carefully. You aren't sure how you feel about her going out.
"Uh yeah … you wanna know what's the highlight of my day?" Your smile wavers but she continues on. "Well it's happening right now." She laughs and you smile a little at how cheesy she was being. "Can't I look pretty and dress up for my totally awesome video date?"
"I'd be flattered if that were true …"
"It is-" She cuts across you.
"-but I'm sure you have plenty of other stuff that you have to do." You remark, a tiny flicker of something passes across her forehead.
"Well I guess, tonight is the only night I'm sorta free." She says, casting her eyes down as if she is reading a schedule. "So I'll probably try to go out, sneak off and do some mild touring and such, make the most of it y'know. The next few days are booked with meetings and such."
"So, you're going to head out pretty soon for a night out?" You ask.
"Maybe." She says, sighing as she glances around.
"Well, have fun!" You say forcing a lightness to your voice.
"I will, though I'll try not to have as much fun without you here."
"Yeah you better." You warn but you smile at the end.
She laughs and then smiles a little self consciously.
"So how about you how's your day been so far? You look good too by the way, normal I mean, you look like you normally do. I mean, you know as expected …" She closes her eyes at her attempts to explain. "... really pretty I mean."
You laugh.
"What was that, the girl who usually knows exactly how to smooth talk her way out of anything is actually rambling and stuttering?"
"Must be jet lag or something coming on. Perhaps a bug or whatever." She mumbles. It's such a pathetic excuse that the both of you share similar amused smiles, staunching your laughter as you continue to play along and go with what she was saying.
"There's a bug that causes your talented mouth to stop working. Let me guess it hasn't quite caught up to UK time yet?"
She smirks.
"So I've got a talented mouth eh? I'm happy you think so-"
"-The word I was looking for was not talented, though not saying that your mouth can't be ... it can-" You try not to blush but judging by Beca's smile you are failing. "-but eloquent is what I meant. Yes, eloquent, which I am totally not right now. Argh, you're contagious."
"My jet lag is contagious?" She sniggers.
"Yeah, I can feel in through the screen! Whatever it is you're on, what you're feeling." You easily breeze through your words.
"Uh huh! Whatever I'm feeling, you're feeling it too … like you caught it from me, it's being transferred, like there's something between the two of us, that's what you're saying?" Beca asks.
"Yeah?! What else does contagious mean? I think that's its very definition."
"Well good that you know that whatever I got, well I've got it bad. Hard to cure, I guess. Not that I have any intention of doing so."
"Why do I get the feeling like you're referring to something else entirely?" You ask, mock innocently.
"I thought you were the more perceptive one in this relationship?" Beca smirks. "Hmm, like I said, oh … wait a minute."
You hear a deep voice calling in the background.
"Beca." Her head turns towards the source.
"Phone!" She calls out.
"Beca!"
She closes her eyes, rolling them as she opens them back up.
"I'm busy!" She calls, hoping to deter whoever it was.
"I got us some snacks, some fish and chips and something green they called mushy peas." The voice keeps getting closer as the words tumble out.
"Aren't we going out to eat?" Beca calls over her shoulder.
"Yeah, we can still do that! You can never have too much food. And this Britishy stuff is so good!"
"Spoken like a true glutton." She calls out absentmindedly.
"C'mon, get off the damn phone! This was supposed to be a break from it all. Dude, we really have to get eating cos in five minutes we'll be going ... who is that anyway?"
"None of your business that's who." The person comes closer towards Beca and you can see their body, just not their face as they close in to get a better look at you.
"I gotta go. Call you same time tomorrow. Promise." She gets out quickly then mouths 'bye' and sends one last hasty smile before the screen goes blank.
What was that all about?
You are ready, waiting on the couch the same time the next day. You'd had a restless day which involved picking up and putting down several magazines, filing your nails and sewing a loose button back on your shirt. You even jumped at the chance to go to the grocery store for milk because it gave you something to do for twenty minutes.
Something had been niggling you at the back of your mind. That voice offscreen it seemed familiar but different somehow. You had a feeling it was who you thought it was but for some reason you couldn't be entirely sure.
Five minutes passed the arranged time to call and still there was no sign of Beca.
Then ten minutes, then fifteen … even a hour later you keep glancing at your phone, you turned it off and on, looked to see that the ringing volume was all the way up, checked a dozen times that you had enough charge. You just sighed at yourself two hours later.
What were you doing? This was pathetic. You'd turned down another night out with the girls over a sodding video call … this was just plain sad. You were that girl sitting staring desperately at a phone that wouldn't ring.
Of course she wouldn't keep her word, what were you thinking? Like she was able to do so with Jesse, you saw how their relationship was before how it quickly diminished the time and the space apart strained their once strong bond.
You were freaking out again but could anyone blame you, could Beca blame you? All of this was so raw, and new and she had gone on and left you before you had had enough time together; for your thing to actually be considered a thing. What had you even done to guarantee anything? She said she wanted this with you, that she was committed but there was no labels and no name to it and she could do anything she wanted when she was far away and she wouldn't even need to feel guilty 'cos there was nothing and nobody holding her back. She had fallen out of love with Jesse; a guy she had been with and loved for quite a long time so was it paranoia that made you think that she could, would wander this early into your relationship?
What was to stop Beca from doing to you what she did to Jesse? Especially when she was with him right now right at this very moment.
You allow yourself to accept this as truth to really think about it. You knew for sure now that it had been him with her during your last conversation; the one who asked to see who she was talking to. You hadn't been certain as he'd sounded so unlike himself, or the guy you had gotten used to being around, like there was no angry or deceitful or hateful bone in his body. He was amiable, entirely relaxed perhaps the way he was in private with Beca. He might as well have been another person entirely.
It always bothered you. It ate away a little at how easily they fell back into that whole best buddies dynamic, proof of their strong relationship, their history. Like no matter what happened he would be there; like she couldn't shake him off entirely. You don't really want to imagine a life with Jesse Swanson as a constant presence. You would keep having to deal with the uncomfortable Jesse induced feelings forever. You would keep feeling threatened, and not entirely sure of your place in her life. You would try again to coexist within the Becasphere amicably for her sake. Not that it would last. Beca
couldn't have the both of you; she would have to choose eventually. But you're actually terrified she might choose their history over you.
You're about to jump off of the deep end and are fully prepared to drown in your own paranoia when suddenly there's someone calling you.
You quickly put the phone to your ear and hurriedly answer.
"You better have a damn good explanation for this. No, you know what, no, I don't even want to hear it. Save it for someone who gives a shi-" You say so vehemently; your voice riddled with a mix of both anxiety and annoyance.
"-I guess I should've texted first huh?" You almost jump in surprise when the voice that answers your vent isn't the one you're expecting
"Cee?" You ask incredulously.
"Hmm, I'm betting you were expecting somebody else." She laughs.
"Kind of, yeah." You say honestly.
"Thank God, I couldn't fathom what I'd done to receive that level of greeting." She laughs but you sense a touch of tension. You can't get seem to get anything right at the moment but the moment of anger leaves you.
"Right, yeah so my apologies on that." You graciously say.
"Well don't act like we didn't just reconnect just the other day. I said I'd call didn't I? You said I could."
"Uh yeah, you did, and you can." You answer in response.
"But if it's a bad time I can just call again some other time." She offers.
"Don't be silly Cee." You say honestly, and you do mean it.
"So stop talking to me so damn formally, or do I need to get all formal with you and ask your permission and such-" Coleen says and you aren't quite sure where she is going with this.
"-You're being ridiculous." You say, interrupting the silliness. You love Coleen, but you really aren't in the mood for this.
"Miss Beale, may I ask for some of your precious time to ask permission to call on you?"
"Well, there's nothing much I can do you've already managed to get me on the phone with you."
"Well I'll be damned, I really am that good." She laughs out.
You finally burst into laughter, Coleen following right after, the both of you laughing heartily at how pointless the conversation had been so far.
"So, I'm taking it that I am allowed to initiate a relatively sane conversation with you?"
"Sure, sure fire away, I really needed to get my mind off something." You say, pushing all thoughts of Beca to one side.
"Yeah, you do tend to get caught up in there. I'm sure whatever it is you're freaking out about, it's totally nothing."
"Yeah."
"Well anyway let's not talk about that. I'll just be lending my services as your temporary distraction."
"The best kind." You say.
"You know it, so I wanted to tell you about my week which seemed very uneventful compared to my best friend showing her face to me again ..." Coleen began, easily talking about her day and some of the patients she had seen and what she'd had for lunch, the conversation with her Mom and her elder brothers latest crazy stunt. She was the perfect distraction and helped relieve some of the stress, loosening you up and relaxing you.
After a while you glance at the clock and notice it's been almost an hour since she called and you have been talking non stop.
"Hey Cee, we've been talking for nearly an hour now."
"I didn't notice. So I guess we need to end the call?"
"Yeah probably." You say with no regrets.
"So, did it work?" Coleen asks.
"What do you mean?"
"Were you sufficiently distracted enough?" She puts out another question.
"Totes." You laugh out.
"Good, so my job here is done then."
"A job well done my friend."
"Catch you again some time Carrot. And don't be a stranger, okay? Bye." Coleen says as she ends the call. Those words echo in your head where had you heard that last. 'Don't be a stranger.' Oh yeah. You had asked that of Beca but had it been a lot, too much to ask of her, especially because she technically was that ... a stranger. It seemed it the further away she was from you living her normal celebrity life that you still weren't all that familiar with and weren't expressly a part of, what place had you in it? What claim did you or anyone really have to someone like Beca. Now more than ever it felt like she was that truly this untetherable, unattainable force never truly belonging to anybody. Maybe Aubrey was right about Beca just not being made that way.
'Bye.' You whisper long after Coleen'd left the line. As soon as you hang up, you reach to place your phone by your side but it immediately begins to ring.
This time it's her.
You watch the phone ring once, twice, her name flashing three times and the ridiculous photo you'd put on her contact sheet now flashing, taunting you … and you let the rings sing out while you're just staring at the screen and her smiling face. You feel guilty and yet you're almost feeling petty, childish, thinking 'let see her wait this time.'
The phone stops ringing then starts up again a few seconds later then again and again each time it seems all the more pressing, the ringing sounding all the more like someone pleading or crying. For the nth time you have to physically stop yourself as you are now beyond itching to pick up the phone. You actually have to sit on your hand to stop yourself from doing so.
Then you hear the beeping of a message. You can speedily scan through it as you reason to yourself that it's not like that would be entirely giving in. You push your phone aside and pretend to ignore it, flicking through a magazine that was left on the sofa.
Several beeps later and you can't help it; you swipe your phone screen and, okay, there are 5 more messages; all from her.
Message 20.14: Beca – I guess you couldn't come to your phone or you just don't want to talk to me?
Message 20.16: Beca – Chloe, I tried to call! God, I'm such an idiot. I got held up with something but that's not the reason why I couldn't call. I wasn't able to charge my phone, forgot about the whole electrical outlet being different in Europe. I didn't have a universal adaptor. I called as soon as I could switch on the phone.
Message 20.19: Beca – I'm sure you're mad and that you're thinking that I could've tried calling you with another phone and I did call, technically. I kept dialing this number and then it turns out I had gotten the order wrong. I'd swapped the 8 and the 6 and I only realised this when I checked my phone just now so you can be mad at me for not having your number memorised but not for not being able to call ...
Message 20.21: Beca – Those were lame excuses I know. You don't want me to use the 's' word but I really am.
Message 20.22: Beca – Chlo … how can I make it up to you when you won't give me a chance?
Message 20.25: Beca – Just, please answer the phone. I miss talking to you.
What the hell where does she get off telling you what to do, then trying to soften it by saying cutsey little things like that?
You're way beyond pissed off! Mostly you're just annoyed because you were let down again. And it might seem like such a little thing to someone else, but she broke a promise. She said she'd call, and she didn't. And you get that things can go wrong; heck, that's life and yet you can't quite seem to accept that. You're left trying to understand just why you are feeling so hateful.
Maybe because Beca had told you that she had gone to London not to be with Jesse in that way, that it was purely professional and yet just last night they had hung out in a clearly very non-professional way. And then the next day, the entirety of today she hadn't made her presence felt. No little texts. Nothing. Leaving you with a gap to be filed with images from your overactive, paranoid brain. You didn't know what were you supposed to think or feel.
One thing was for sure, You didn't like this feeling; like you could lose so much when you weren't even sure just how much you were allowed to have in the first place.
The video chat tone rings out again and you decide to pick it up. You take a deep breath and you don't have to wait long till she's back to her usual apologetic tone.
"Chloe? Hey I-"
"-No I don't wanna hear it." You say tiredly.
"But-"
"-Please stop talking."
"What Chloe …?"
"We really have to work on you're not being able to follow simple instructions. We've done this before, Do you really not get the whole no talking part? It means you have to shut your trap so you can effectively listen! Is that concept really so hard to understand? Beca? Beca?"
There's silence on the other end and you roll your eyes, annoyed. Okay now she's actually listening and taking note on what you said; the smart aleck!
"Okay nod or give some confirmation that you've heard me and we've not lost sound." You say and pause while she nods. "Good so …"
"But I told you what happened!" Beca says, unable to keep quiet any longer.
"Yeah, I heard you!" You say, running your hands over your shirt, smoothing down the fabric.
"And?" Beca asks, reaching forward to pick up a bottle of water slightly out of view.
"You were right; those were very, very lame excuses." You start out lightly but you're reminded of how quickly Beca had signed out at hearing Jesse approach, hiding you like the dirty secret that you were, something to be embarrassed about like the secret stash of porn hidden from the spouse to get off with on the side.
The image, the thought is crazy and disturbing even and it's only succeeding in working you up all the more.
"I mean, is it too much for me to expect that you would hold up your end of the bargain? That you would keep your word? That you would actually work for this. On us. To try to make whatever we are work. If there even really is an 'us'?" You say unabashedly, quite unable to hold yourself back.
"I thought we had decided that already?" She asks, frowning in confusion. And it's that confusion that only serves to heightens your anger.
"No, we didn't decide anything! We never really hashed it all out, did we? You, you, you ambushed me and took advantage of my just having woken up state and then you got hurt and I just felt compelled to help you. And then you, um, no, I was the idiot who just let you say what you had to say and just accepted it, took as it was. As if your words, your promises meant anything at all."
"Wow!" She says, gulping a few times. "That's how little you think of me?"
"It's what you've shown me so far. Just in case you've forgotten or are entirely unaware you are, well we're on probation and you just failed." You say, sadly.
"Failed? Because I couldn't call? Chloe? Are you actually being serious?" Beca asks incredulously. "Look, I left this very important meeting; I left secretly without anyone with me. It may not sound like much Chloe, but I'm not exactly exempt from having to be careful out there on my own, especially when I'm new in the country somewhere. I'm not the big headed "superstar" that Aubrey thinks I am but I do need to be on the lookout. I spent, God knows how long, looking for a damn charger without getting mobbed." Her tone changes from disbelief and anger to saddened desperation. "Chloe I know I've given you every reason not to trust me but that was before this, okay? Before I promised you this. And one more thing; yes I said it and I meant it then and I mean it now and no, okay, I made one mistake, one slip up and you're already condemning me and nailing me to the cross and giving me flak like I have done exactly as you'd expected me to do. It feels like, it feels like you'd set me, no, set us up for a loss-"
"-I said I'd give you a chance. You reiterate, unable to meet her eye, keen to ignore her latest speech and remain numb to her excuses. "And I've heard what you have to say. I'm not just sure I believe you."
"I'm here alright!" Beca's voice rises a couple of octaves. "I'm calling you aren't I?" She says much softer, almost pleading.
"If you can't keep your word, I can't do …" You sigh heavily, so overcome with it all. "... if you wanted to go back with Jesse, I'm just saying here's the chance if you want it. It's a clean break so you can go, no harm no foul … okay?"
"Why are you saying all of this!?" She asks dejectedly, her face wild and her frustration apparent. "I don't want to get back with Jesse. What did I do that made you think that?"
"Oh so you've told him, have you?" You voice your apprehensions. "He knows about this?" This you opted to say not us as to not give Beca permission to think she was out of the doghouse just yet.
You weren't sure just yet either it all depended on her next sentence. She seems to know this too. She closes her eyes when she answers.
"I don't want to hurt him." She all but whispers, "He doesn't deserve any of this."
'What about me?' You think. You don't deserve to feel like you have no way of knowing where you stood with her, to feel this strong surge of jealousy at hearing how much she still cared for him, for the injustice you felt like how come he deserved her concern, when you were the one who she had been hurting all this time. He had been horrible to her and and she was, in turn, hurting you. It was a stupid triangle, a circle of hurt and what was it all for? What was any of this for?
You suddenly feel like you need to get off of the video call as fast as you can. You feel absolutely sick to your stomach and if possible, even more doubtful than ever before. You realize you had missed most of what Beca had been saying as she throws her hands up in the air.
" … and urgh, don't you think that I'd rather be with you right now, than being stuck here. I'd fly over there if I could-"
You can't bear it anymore.
"-You're all words." You say before hanging up.
You fight the urge to call out to Ben and Jerry. You need to be strong and not give in but it's proving difficult it truly feels as though you've been given a virtual slap to the face. You can almost feel the sting.
Tears prickle behind your eyelids.
You want your Mom. She always makes things better. But you know if you called her up in the state you are in at the moment, she'd worry unnecessarily and probably send your Dad across to check up on you and you really don't want that kind of fuss at the moment. Having anyone from the family, except perhaps Janet around would only reinforce the feeling and make you feel even more inexperienced at life and remind you of how young you really were.
So you call on Aubrey a few hours later; the one person who you know will call you out on your whinge, will always offer advice even if it is unwelcome but most of all, knows what's going on.
You are almost done with your funk but the longer you spent on your own, the worse you felt and you really needed this knock to the head.
You call her at work and all it takes is for her to say hello as she plugs in her ear buds and the floodgates open. She listens to you try to withhold your tears, trying desperately not to cry for a few minutes as the words tumble out through your tightened throat and you try to make her understand what the problem is. Her face is kind and you are reminded for the hundredth time why she is your best friend. She waits for you to unload everything before she speaks.
"Chloe, no seriously, think about it long and hard. If this is what you really want, if Beca's really worth it, then you are going to have to fix this. You know me, a long long time ago I had wanted for you to fix things between the two of you, but I had to play Devils Advocate. I've tried to be the supportive, understanding best friend willing to see what you saw in her and I liked her, I did. But Chloe, all that she put you through, she'll never see what I saw, just the other night when you had broken down and destroyed everything within your reach as well. She didn't see it, the extent of the damage that she caused you physically and emotionally and you just gave in, so, so, so easily. I'm just wondering what she must've said for you to just forgive her, to just 'get together'?" Aubrey rationales everything in a few sentences.
"I haven't forgiven her." You begin to explain. "That's what this whole ordeal has proven; you're right. Even Beca knows it, especially now. She knows I haven't fully let it go. She hurt me, pretty bad and it's worse than anyone has ever hurt me before because of what she means to me. And possibly because what I thought I meant to her. I was so angry and hurt and I was so tired of feeling like total shit, because of all her games, all the to'ing and fro'ing and then she was there with all the right answers, with a temporary answer and distracting from the real problem. I don't think she meant it to be like that but I gave in, because I wanted things to be okay again."
Aubrey tilts her head to the side and thinks for a moment before she takes her eyes off the screen and eyeballs the door. She looks back at you and nods for you to continue.
"I know that it'll never be, well, not completely sorted … not for a while because what she did will forever hover like this dark angry cloud over whatever we are. But, with everything, from what she said … it's not, it's just weird as, right then when she was reacting and getting all defensive on the phone, I just realized that I believe her, that I believe in what she was saying and I don't know after everything why I do? But I do and I just told her I didn't. I knew it wasn't her fault and the fight stemmed from my insecurity, and confusion but I should've just y'know not jumped to conclusions. I blatantly said that I can never trust her again before I hung up the phone. And I should feel vindicated and satisfied but I'm not. I just feel horrible. I'm totally fucked aren't I?"
You look hopefully into your phone, hoping for Aubrey to say the right thing to make you feel better. She looks strained and you wonder if you have said too much. Aubrey had been in a couple of relationships, although nothing too serious so you wonder why you are turning to her for advice with this.
"Wait for me, okay. Stick a pin in this conversation. I'll, uh, leave work early and when I get home we'll break open the Ben and Jerry's together." She says after a lengthy pause. She knows you so well. "We can split it so you don't seem so sad and depressed."
You realize that it's not the actual relationship advice you need, it's in her two specialties that you can count on either her telling you to pull your head out of your ass or offering usually the best solution. Plus she was good at seeing both sides of the argument.
It's also in Aubrey's way of knowing that words wouldn't be of much help to you. You know she was a loss for them as much as yourself and you know nothing would help more than just needing some company; someone to be there.
She's home in the mid afternoon, and find you slumped, face down, on your bed covered in throw pillows and more magazines than you should really have in your bed with you. You'd spent a couple of hours doodling all over the faces of the fashion models, giving most of the women moustaches and drawing stupidly large eyebrows on all of the men. You'd even drawn on one of the magazine covers with Beca on it and yet somehow it wasn't at all satisfying, she totally rocked the horns and the tail you'd given her, if anything, it made her look even more appealing looking like some sexy devil. You'd moved on to just reading the articles several times before dropping the colorful pages to the floor.
"What are you doing in here?" Aubrey slaps you playfully on the backside before she takes a seat next to you, scooting over a couple of stuffed animals.
You mumble something into your pillows before flipping over and looking at her. She looks like she has had a bad day as well and you instantly feel guilty.
"Bad day?" You ask, and you notice her flinch slightly, a sure sign she was not okay.
"Nothing that a overly indulgent, movie filled afternoon and evening with my best friend won't fix." She smiles, looking brighter in an instant. "Come on, choose us a couple of comedies of the non-romcom variety from the stash and I'll get changed into sweats and fix us some drinks and snacks."
You leave your morbid despair pit of a bed and rifle through a couple of stacks of DVD's littering the corners of your closet. You wince slightly at the plastic bags that have been tucked just inside, knowing that what was in there was your obsession with Beca.
You select a couple of DVD's; Trophic Thunder, Shaun of the Dead, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy,The 40 Year Old Virgin and head to the lounge. Aubrey is already settled on the couch and as you hold up the DVD's for her to choose one, she holds up two spoons, signaling she was armed with Ben and Jerry's and she wasn't afraid to show it. You sort out the DVD and join her on the oversize sofa.
You spend the next hour alternating between stuffing your mouth, laughing your head off and talking your heart out about Beca, snarking about all the things she hasn't done to fawning over everything she ever said to you that was nice. Aubrey listens as you get into it, the movie forgotten as you both dig your spoons into the creamy goodness, wrestling to see who would get the last chunk of cookie dough. You let her win, because, despite everything, you are just that kind of person.
It's getting late by the time the fourth movie starts and you don't blame Aubrey for nodding off into the cushions, spoon dangling from her mouth, her usual composure shot to pieces as she slips into an ice cream coma. You're tempted to take a picture which after a couple minutes of considering you decide to do. The girl had too much of your own material that she could use to blackmail you with.
You pull your phone off the arm of the sofa, and take a couple of pictures, laughing silently to yourself the entire time- you'd even taken a selfie with her unconscious self. Afterwards, you find yourself checking for the twentieth time for any missed calls or unread texts. There aren't any and this suddenly makes you feel very, very sad. Maybe it's the crash from the sugar high, maybe it's the soppy movie you just watched; Marley and Me (it was supposed to be a comedy time but you couldn't help slipping this favorite in) does that to you every time and you don't know why you allow yourself to watch it if you are being honest or maybe you are really just missing Beca.
Without really thinking about it, you're calling her number. Seeing her picture pop up on the screen jolts you back to the moment and you clear the call just before it connects. You can't decide whether you want to talk to her or not. You decide to let your third pint of Ben and Jerry decide. You rationalise that if the third pint that Aubrey bought in the freezer is Peanut Butter Fudge, you'll take the battery out of your phone and hide it somewhere (you giggle a bit at the thought of hiding it down Aubrey's cleavage) and if it's Chocolate Therapy, you'll call Beca.
It's Chocolate Fudge Brownie.
You reckon this is close enough so as you settle back on the sofa and peel the lid off, you pick up your phone and call her number again. You slot the spoon in your mouth as the call connects and you hear it ring once, twice and then it's answered. Aca-Gods, you hadn't actually banked on the call going through. You fumble for a moment, almost dropping your phone in your haste to clear the call.
"Hello?" You hear her speak, in that warm velvety voice that just screams 'I'm half asleep'.
You press the cancel button half a dozen times, even when the screen has gone black signaling the disconnection. You can't believe how fast your heart is beating and yet you were the one to dial the number. You stand up and pace the floor for a moment, quietly talking to yourself so as not to wake a sleeping Aubrey. You head back to the kitchen and open the freezer section and bury your head inside for a moment or two, resting it on a bag of unsealed frozen peas. You pull your head back out and retwist the frozen vegetable bag, knocking a couple of peas off your forehead.
That cold moment helped align your brain back to thinking rationally and you decide, now that you have woken Beca up, you might as well call again and have a heart to heart with her. You take a large glass of water back to the sofa, trying to calm yourself down.
What seems like a perfectly good idea at the time; that is settling yourself next to Aubrey on the sofa, taking a couple of decent size gulps of water and calling Beca's number, soon turns out to be the worst idea you have ever had when the call connects and the person on the other end speaks.
"Hello!"
It wasn't who you were expecting.
It was him.
You are thrown. Why is he there, in Beca's room? Are they sharing a room? What was his game? How did he get her phone? Who did he think he was? When did he turn up there? You were so busy with all the unspoken questions running through your head that you don't speak.
"Hello?" Jesse asks, the slightest tinge of annoyance lacing his voice.
You open your mouth to speak but you now don't know what to say.
"Hello? Can I help you?"
'You can go and hide under a rock.' You think, grateful that you have enough filter to keep your mouth shut.
"Who is this?" Jesse asks, now clearly sounding pretty annoyed. "Can you hear me?"
'Oh I can hear you all right mister.' You think. 'I want to know what you are doing in-'
"My fiancee is unavailable at the moment, can I take a message caller?"
'Will a throat punch work as a message for you, you sack of sh-' You want to shout out.
"OK, I'm guessing this is you Chloe, calling for some God knows stupid reason at 4 o'clock in morning." Jesse barks out. "Beca is fast asleep next to me right now, she's tired and your pathetic reasons for calling are not welcome."
You sit, stock still on the sofa, as it all clicks into place. tears prick at your eyes as you realize they were sharing a bed. They were together. In a bed. And they had probably just had-
"-We are in my room so don't think about calling her hotel room number. She doesn't want to talk to you. We are trying to sleep and spend some time together as couples do. I suggest you-" Jesse is still talking as you move the phone from your ear and drop it as if you had been burnt. It hits the floor and bounces a couple of times, sending a crack through the screen immediately. You can still hear Jesse talking and you catch the end of his sentence as you reach to pick up your broken phone. "-Do you understand that you sad little girl. What will it take for me to be finally rid of you-"
You can't bear to hear anymore so you throw your phone away from you as hard as you can. You don't even wince as it hits the wall opposite, breaking into at least a dozen pieces, bits of plastic flying all over. Despite the fact that you just smashed your phone to smithereens, you feel somewhat triumphant that you ended the call so spectacularly and hope that Jesse heard the smash before the call ended.
Despite feeling sick to your stomach, you scoff the rest of the ice cream, mechanically dipping your spoon in and feeding your addiction, the cold a soothing balm to the heat in your throat and behind your eyes. You wish the pain in your heart would go away. You don't even care that the melted ice cream is running down in streaks down your chin. You're past caring about a lot of things now.
You pass out at around 3am.
"You have practice today?" Aubrey asks the following morning. You awaken groggy at around 10am, tired and a tiny bit sticky; the remnants of the ice cream coating your chin. You don't want to admit to Aubrey that you passed out after finishing your third pint, in a sweetened dairy induced fog. You try to comb out the mess of tangles you call hair and are surprised and also mildly fascinated when you find a couple of peas still in there.
"To the studios first. Ah, I have a session with Doctor Gail at 10.30. Oh yeah." You glance once again at the clock. "Shit, I'm going to be late. She hates late and she'll get all weird on me, well weirder than usual if I'm not on time." You hurriedly jump into action; you tie up your hair, thinking you won't be getting to shower. "But then the rest of my night is free, I guess."
"Please get properly cleaned up and then go." She insists, eyeing your hair, and the whole mess that was you with mild distaste and you're imagining she never felt as sorry for you as she did now. She was the picture of being well put together as always. She was already up and ready, perfectly groomed no trace whatsoever of the night before. Lucky you had taken pictures you smile inwardly to yourself.
"-Not enough time Bree."
"Speedy shower, just five minutes and here, I'll get your stuff ready."
You get into the shower and quickly, almost mechanically get to showering. At the back of your mind you're remembering the weird significance bathrooms held in yours and Beca's friendship.
You're just rinsing the last few suds off when Aubrey comes storming in and you get a flashback of another person doing that who had unwantedly been exposed to your breasts. You certainly hadn't been ready for Beca to see you like that then and the way you are feeling right now, would you be ready any time soon? Had she really gone back to Jesse already?
When you look you see the returned bathroom toiletries; the ones that had been pushed to the floor to make room for a bleeding guest had been neatly rearranged just as they had been; yours on one side and Aubrey's on the other. You were grateful for her for cleaning up.
"You done okay?" She scarcely waits for your confirmation before she's pulling back the curtain and all but throws your towel at you, then she's kicking you out "Get out of there!"
You grab the towel quickly, wrapping it around yourself, almost scared for your safety.
"Pull that dress on over there or you're not going to make it move, move, move." Aubrey's voice jolts you out of your reminiscing and you get ready in the shortest time you ever have. You tie your hair in a knot and pin it quickly, noting how easy it was to sort out when usually it takes a while to tame your curls.
"I'm not even going to ask what happened to your phone." She's talking as you finish getting ready, slipping your feet into a pair of flip flops. You notice that she's picked the pieces up and laid them out on the kitchen worktop. "It's completely broken by the way."
"I'm-"
"-Explanations unnecessary. I might have got a spare one at the office you can borrow." She says as she slots your purse on your arm. "See you later."
You head to the door only a minute later than planned, picking up Beca's car key's on the way and running down the steps. As you pull away from the kerb, you feel quite a thrill at driving Beca's car but at the same time, feel a pang of regret that this will probably be the last time you drive it. You pause at the junction and one of your neighbors pulls up behind you. It's not a van you recognize from the street but as they had just pulled away from the kerb, it must have been. You decide, as you drive to the studios, to park a couple of streets away so not to draw attention to you having Beca's car. You glance in the rear view mirror a few times and see the van a few cars behind you. You wonder, because you clearly have nothing else to worry about at the time, where they are going.
You make your appointment with Doctor Gail with moments to spare. If she noticed your rushed demeanor, she didn't mention it just shrugged it away and got down to business. You find this behavior much more unsettling. She's a little too tame, if that made any sense, much more withheld during the entire session.
You sit through the appointment with a tonic and some stern instructions to take better care of yourself, to rest your voice as much as possible and not be so emotional. You want to laugh at the last part. The emotional roller coaster you'd been on probably wasn't helping with your healing.
Just as you are about to leave, Doctor Gail remembers to ask you about this colorful folder that you'd noticed that had been sitting on the edge of her desk.
"Hey Chloe, um, is this your folder? We found it here in the practice room just the other day?" Doctor Gail asks.
"I don't have a folder." You begin to explain, knowing full well you always use your phone for any appointments, notes or memo's you needed to take.
"Well, if you look inside it has your name on the side of it, or so one of the interns told me."
She hands you a very familiar looking folder. You'd seen this somewhere before but can't quite place where. Was it Aubrey's? No, wait a minute … you know who this belongs to! You open the folder and it's right there; it's got her all over it. The decorative stickers of bumblebees, ladybugs, lilies, musical notes and her doodles.
"This is Beca's." You explain. "And my name's here because of the list of songs we planned way back when … it's for the show." You remember her jotting it down in a pad that she kept in the folder.
"Oh, I don't know why I didn't think of that." She says and you both just shrug away that thought. You try to hand it back to her but she waves it away, as she refuses to take it back. "Keep it. I'm sure you'll be seeing her before I do."
"Um, she won't be back for at least a couple of days. She'll be scraping it close to be back by Monday I think, when rehearsals start up again so I guess we'll be seeing her roughly about the same time."
Doctor Gail's face wavers momentarily, an odd look flitters across it before she's laughing almost hysterically. You really do find her quite odd. Although you can't help feeling some sort of relief as she seems more herself now.
"Correct again! I'm rather absentminded today, forgive me. I don't think my morning pills haven't quite kicked in" She laughs. "… and perhaps I do need a pick me up."
Doctor Gail leaves you all alone with the folder as she steps out in the hall to ask the receptionist to send out for coffee. That wasn't exactly the best thing for you as you have a bit of a battle raging within you. You're tempted to look through it to find what it may contain but you also know what's in there is private; much like most of what Beca's life is about. Privacy.
You have a staring contest with the folder; sometimes convincing yourself that it was enough just to peek at the first page. That wasn't really betraying a confidence. At the same time, you were hoping that just by staring at the cover, you could actually know what was in there without actually opening it. You put up quite a honorable fight, even popping the folder back onto Doctor Gail desk and hiding it under a tape dispenser and a stapler and a couple of other folders.
You feel like you're doing quite well and everything's going without a hitch, until a few seconds later when in one of many attempts in your haste to arrange the folder so it didn't look like you had touched it, you hear approaching footsteps you accidentally knock everything off. There's a crashing noise and you freeze before immediately bending down to pick up all the items: the dispenser and the stapler and neatly place everything back. You move quickly but it seems not quickly enough when the footsteps seem to speed up and you're still reaching for the tape that had rolled under one of the other desks just out of reach.
You give up and stare at the door, awaiting Doctor Gail's entrance and her finding you down on the ground with your butt sticking up in the air but the footsteps move past the door and continue down the hallway. You breathe a sigh of relief and rest your back against the table. You finally manage to pry that stupid roll of tape from the back of the desk.
And you settle down to rearrange the stuff back on her desk but wait where's Beca's folder… you find it still on the desk, looking almost untouched and that's when you finally can't take it anymore and give in.
You open the folder and there's a couple of notes; but you are surprised to see one tucked in the back and it's in your handwriting. It was the sorry note you had written her all those weeks ago and you aren't sure if you are surprised she'd kept it this long. Further behind that, almost perfectly concealed there is a piece of paper folded in half, you unfold it to reveal a list with your name on it.
You get the impression, judging by what is written on the carefully folded piece of paper, that this was never meant for anyone, most especially you to see. In an uncharacteristic fashion, she has written down some pretty nice things and even decorated the page with hastily drawn hearts and flowers.
Chloe Beale
Pretty perky redhead w/ the gorgeous light blue eyes
Member of Barden Bellas, SPED
Likes
Acapella
Boybands; specifically One Direction (need to work on this)
Bug tattoos (woot woot)
Dogs; she has several favorite dog movies
Jane Austen novels; favorite being Pride and Prejudice
Favorite kid's book; Anne of Green Gables: fellow spitfire redhead?
Star Wars IV-VI; shared with her Pawpa
Cheesy Rom Coms; specifically A Walk To Remember, She's All That
Rapping/making up songs in the shower
Sweets; real sweet tooth, loves the sour gummy variety, ice cream (Ben and Jerry's) and donuts
The list continued and you were quite surprised to see how accurate she was in her observations. Everything was pretty spot on. She had moved past your likes and dislikes and had also made some notes on the general stuff as well. The list was extensive and moving past your likes Beca had added little descriptions as well.
Excessive displays of affection
Prone to cuddling bouts during especially cold weather (wait - just whenever)
Warm and caring - she draws people to her without trying
Breath of fresh air - beautiful and very talented but doesn't act like it and certainly doesn't feel the need to flaunt it or rub it in in other people's faces
Most random person ever - a conversation with her is never truly straight going
Good listener, and can be trusted with secrets she really listens not just pretends to until it's her turn to speak again
She's self possessed and graceful but she also a bit of a klutz - gets into the funniest, weirdest scrapes sometimes I'm lucky enough to get to experience them with her
Brings me out of my head - been a while
Makes me laugh without trying - just makes me happier in general
Patient, kind, selfless puts other people's needs above her own, fiercely protective of others
Quiet inner strength - can stand up for herself and defend others, but she doesn't have one mean bone in her body, she only bites back when she truly has to and never for just herself
There was a note at the bottom, which had been circled quite vigorously by the wrinkles in the paper. Your eyes linger on this word for a while.
Likes - ME?
As a side note, you see she had set up a list on the other side of the page with her name at the top. Beca Mitchell likes only had one thing.
Chloe Beale
She'd even drawn a heart next to your name.
You hear Doctor Gail's shrill voice echoing down the hallway and hurriedly shuffle the pages back into the folder, slipping it onto the highly polished desk once again. You rearrange your features and school your expression as she enters the room. She hands you a few pieces of paper with pre printed healthcare instructions on it and hands you a bottle of foggy blue liquid, claiming it's her own brand of mouthwash.
You decide to throw that particular item into the bin at your earliest opportunity.
You head back to the car, having got a few hours to kill before the practice session in the early afternoon and you see something on the windscreen that you know hadn't been there when you parked up. At first you thought it was a parking ticket and you check the signs on the street as you approach but nothing suggests you had parked up where you shouldn't. You are quite surprised to see a colorful pressed flower tucked under the right hand windshield wiper. You look at the rest of the cars on the street but none of them seem to have been decorated with flowers. You note straight away that it's one of your favorite flowers; a lily. You pluck it carefully from under the wiper blade and instinctively sniff the petals. It still smells fairly fresh and as it's pretty you decide to keep it.
The drive home is uneventful except that you decide to stop in the usual place for coffee and a donut (noting with a twist to your mouth that Beca was right about your donut obsession) and wait in line to be served. You approach the register as the customer in front turns to leave and you have a sneaky suspicion you know him from somewhere and judging by the quick sidelong glance he gives you, it would appear he knows you as well. As you aren't far from the studios, you assume that he could be one of the security detail. He certainly fit the bill; tall, broad shoulders, buzz haircut, a well tailored suit and large sunglasses.
Before you get to speak and place your order, a large coffee and a donut bag is placed on the counter in front of you. You take a step aside, thinking it is for someone behind you who was waiting for their order to be filled.
"This is for you ma'am." The quiet voice of the girl manning the cash register carries just over the noise of the coffee shop.
"Oh!" You say, quite surprised and a teeny bit embarrassed that your order is so well known that you don't even have to place it verbally to be served. You make your mind up to vary your coffee houses and certainly your choices from now on.
"Have a nice day." The cashier says and looks over your shoulder to the person behind, nodding slightly.
"Wait, I haven't paid." You say, your hand already in your purse, searching for your wallet.
"It's all taken care of ma'am." The cashier says and upon seeing your confusion, smiles broadly. "The bill has been settled."
"Well, um, thanks." You say and hurriedly scoop up your coffee and paper bag. You're not quite sure what happened there but you'll take the goodwill gesture and pay it forward later.
You pull up outside your apartment and kill the engine. Gathering up your coffee, donut and lily, you step out of the car. You take in your surroundings with surprise what had promised to be a glorious day when you had left home earlier had now petered out to dark and stormy clouds, giving a slightly ominous feeling, the wind, the leaves are whipping around your legs a little as you walked back towards your front door. You remembered you needed to lock the car but as you turned around, about half back up the path, you swear you heard a snapping of something, perhaps some twigs behind the bushes to your left. You really could be imagining things but you could've sworn there had been something or was it someone standing there prior to that, the figure had moved lightning fast into the bushes.
You can feel a shudder, a wave of foreboding pass through your entire body, you hair stands on one end. You try to shake it off, trying to rid yourself of the heebie jeebies. It was nothing. You convince yourself into thinking that surely it must be the effects of the sugar crash from yesterday's over indulgence, you shake your head to clear your mind, reason to yourself that it was probably just a local cat (though it would've been really big to make that much noise) and double lock the car before hurriedly ascending the steps to your front door.
You are about to put the key in the lock when something on the doormat distracts you and you bend down to pick up this black corded band that you easily identify but it was so out of place. How'd this get here? You pick it up carefully between your forefinger and your thumb and stand looking at it for a while. You really hadn't noticed it when you had left that morning and you are pretty sure Aubrey, with her eagle eyes, would have seen it and picked it up.
You feel as confused as anything, you can't help feeling like all of it; this bracelet, the donuts, the flower they were all pieces of some puzzle that you hadn't yet figured out. You were left there squinting at them wondering what exactly was the picture the pieces were forming, and it lay there, niggling at you. You keep coming up with blanks like there was something just out of reach of your understanding, knitting your eyebrows so tightly together, you have almost given yourself a headache.
You are still looking at the bracelet as you enter the apartment and are so distracted by it, you don't notice the flyer that had been pushed under the door at first. You lay Beca's car keys back in the dish by the door and place the bracelet on the small table.
As you close the door, you catch a glimpse outside of a man, dressed in a casual attire, walking towards a car on the other side of the street. You wouldn't have noticed him if not for the stupidly brisk way he was walking, almost like he was being chased down by some invisible force. You don't think too much of it, you just add it to the off, unsettling mood of the day. You are actually sort of surprised that it's only the third of fourth weird thing to happen to you that day. But you do feel much safer after having double locked the door and slotted the chain across, y'know just in case.
You finally reach down and pick the flyer up from the floor. It's for the local dogs home and they are having an open day to raise some much needed funds. You do love dogs, especially puppies and you wonder if you have time to swing by on your way back to the studios later. You just might. You know you should totally make up time for something light, and cute and fluffy; you felt like the day really needed an added dose of that.
You decide to crash for a bit to recuperate.
You nap for an hour or so (but what feels like only a couple of minutes) on the sofa until just after noon, when you're waking up with a start as you hear a loud knocking on the front door. You pad your way to the door, peeking through the spy hole to see who it is. A uniformed delivery guy is standing on the doorstep, ear buds in, moshing to himself as he waits for your to answer the door. You hesitate for a moment still feeling apprehensive but you roll your eyes and push the feeling away.
He holds out a package as you pull the door open and smiles, pausing his gum chewing for a moment, as he calls out a sunny 'good afternoon'.
"Uh yes? Can I help you with anything?"
"I have a delivery-"
"-I wasn't expecting anything to be delivered." You state your misgivings.
"Are you Miss Chloe Beale?" You nod. "Well this package here has your name on it so I'll need your signature and I'll be out of your … uh hair." You see him glance up at your hair and your hand reaches up surreptitiously trying to smoothen it wondering just how bad it was.
You couldn't say your curiosity wasn't piqued. So you sign for it and after a hurried 'thanks' to the deliveryman, you rip into the box with gusto.
You close your eyes and issue a silent, fervent thank you to Aubrey (she was the only person who knew your phone was beyond repair) as you find yourself looking at a brand new phone inside, the exact same one as you had before, right down to the bespoke cover as you hurry to the kitchen to retrieve your sim card and micro memory card. You feel like you have your arm back as you kick start the phone back into life and are pleased to see all your data has not been lost. You thank your lucky stars for Aubrey.
But you are surprised she sent you a brand new phone when all she said was she was going to see if she had an old, spare one in the office.
Realising you still have a couple of hours left before rehearsal starts, you decide to head out to the open day at the local dogs home. You gather up a handful of quarters and change from the jar by your bedroom door and are about to leave your room when you notice something leaning against your closet door that hadn't been there earlier.
The highly rare Broadway poster of Beca's that you had spent a fortune on and lovingly kept for so many years yet crumpled up into a tight ball when you had your breakdown the night before earlier was now crease free and tightly secured in a frame and back in your bedroom.
'How many pints of ice cream did I have that I don't remember getting this sorted?' You think to yourself as you cross the room. It is your copy, it definitely is as there is still a tiny white mark on the edge of the top side, presumably from where it had been hung up originally.
You are starting to feel a little freaked out. Oh God. You back away slowly quietly. Who … who did this. Was this still Aubrey? No … the whole thing screamed somebody else, who was it and how did that person get inside the house? Your heart thuds, your mind races … whoever it was could still be in the house but the house is silent. And if honest, it wasn't that big a place; you could stand in one corner and take the whole entire space in. Had that been there when you came in? Surely you would've noticed and your heart speeds up, thuds all the more harder or did this happen while you were sleeping?
'No, it must have been Aubrey.' The sane part of you reasons. You've just been watching too many crimes shows to think clearly.
You think back to the conversation you'd had with her that morning when she said she was going to fix some things. You are quite impressed she'd done something already and wonder if she had one of her lackey staff members sort this out. She must have popped home hoping to surprise you but you had missed as you stopped for coffee and donuts on the way home.
Yes, that must have been it.
Because if not, it meant someone else had been in the house, quite possibly while you were sleeping. And that was a thought you didn't want to have. So you decided to stick to the most rational reason. Because this day was seriously weird enough already.
But the nagging doubt means you can't be alone there anymore. You have to get out and fast. You rush out grabbing a couple of essentials on your way out, jamming them into your purse and hurry down the path, turning right at the end. You're a couple of blocks away from home when you decide to go ahead and walk the mile or so to the dogs home, intending to catch the bus from there to the downtown area and the studios later. At the back of your mind, you come up with the schedule for later you are pretty sure that one of the girls would give you a lift home later and if not, you could call Aubrey.
You're feeling cold. You've still got goosebumps and the weather isn't helping you any. You are glad that you somehow still had the presence of mind to grab a cardigan before you left the house.
But it's not just the wind that was making you slightly uneasy, feeling mussed up, frazzled like you can't quite pull yourself together, unable to compose yourself. To heighten things there was a not-quite-silly, non implausible notion that someone could be following you. It wasn't just your paranoia. You could swear you could hear footsteps or just sense someone behind you but every time you turned around the street was always empty.
You wrap your cardigan around your shoulders as you speed up grateful now that you're approaching the medium size, popular, family run dogs charity. You only feel relief when you get through the doors. You watch outside the window whatever figure had been hot on your trail has now blended away into the now darkened, rainy street outside.
They couldn't follow you in here without you seeing them and even if they could, they wouldn't be able to slink into the shadows, they couldn't be threatening here where everything was bright and warm and cosy.
It had been ages since you had last visited. In the past you had loved to come over just to sniff the puppies just because you could and you had become quite friendly with the owners.
You were still surprised though that they recognized you after all the months of you not coming around and were delighted when they offered to show you around and let you see all the improvements that had been made.
You approached one of the pens that held the puppies and for the nth time in your life, you wished that you had the means to have a dog. You knew one day, that you would have a home with pets but this only caused the fire in your belly to burn that bit more.
The owner, Tom, was guiding you through the Puppy Palace when you suddenly froze as you came face to face with the most adorable golden, gingery haired puppy you had ever seen. She bounded up to you as you sank to your knees, sounding out the most pathetic little barks you had ever heard as she tried to bite your hands.
"Looks like that one likes you!" Tom says and you smile.
"She's adorable!" You say as the puppy rolls over onto her back for you to tickle her tummy. "What's her name?"
"Funny you should ask that!" Tom chuckled. "She's called Chloe at the moment! Just like you."
"Oh really!" You squeak out, as you bury your face into the soft curls of the puppy's fur. "We share the same name, little one!"
"She's lucky, this one. She's been sponsored."
"Oh." You say and aren't really sure why you are disappointed.
"Yes, someone called DJ Bulletproof called in recently I think. I'd have to check with the wife. Said to reserve the dog. Very generous donation actually. Enough to keep us going for the rest of the year."
"That's awesome." You squeak out, a sliver of something running through you. That had to be Beca. Who else could it be?
You suddenly feel like you need to leave and you thank Tom for his time. You stroke the ears of the puppy before you leave and she nips at your ankles as you close the gate behind you. You drop all of your change in the bucket as you leave the property and pull your phone out of your back to call a cab to take you to the studios.
You are about to dial the number when you look up and see a couple of cabs parked up on the street; their 'For Hire' signs lit. You feel quite lucky as the sense of foreboding still hasn't left you and wander over to the first cab.
"The Voice Studios." You say, instead of the actual address but the driver seems to understand.
"Sure thing miss." The cab driver says as he turns over the engine. You settle into the back of the cab as the radio springs to life and roll your eyes as it's playing one of Beca's latest mixes, the one that has promised to the song of the summer.
'Oh the irony!' You think to yourself, as the next song on is one that she produced as well. You realize by the time the third track kicks in that you have got into the cab as the Beca Mitchell hour seems to have started. You close your eyes and lean back into the seat, trying to block out her voice that still travels like an invisible thread through your very core.
You arrive at the studios and pay the driver who wishes you a pleasant day. You head in to the studios, via security, who all seem to be intent on talking to you and delaying you being on time. You don't have it in you to be rude but after the weird day you have been having, you just want to sink into your bed at home, laid out on your covers with a cold, damp cloth on your forehead but realize with a beat that even that haven was somewhere you now felt you couldn't retire to. You feel a pang in your chest, and you laugh a little sadly as you remember sticking your head in the freezer compartment the night before, covering yourself in peas.
You slip into the practice room that displays your name on the outside, nearly 15 minutes late. You know the rest of the girls will be busy so you pick up the sheet with the days songs on, noticing immediately you have been given Titanium to sing as part of your vocal warm ups.
You shake your head and try not to roll your eyes.
You are about to leave the room to get some water when you notice the mixed dozen Krispy Kreme donut box sitting on the table, covered in a bright red bow. You move fast for donuts, you guess everyone knew about that particular guilty pleasure huh. But who was complaining?! That's right, not you! You munch happily on the cookies and cream one. Oh you definitely needed that. You're wondering which one of your friends decided to surprise you. You quickly swoop up the printed note.
To C, something sweet for someone sweet.
It's not signed but you wonder if it's from Coleen. It probably was, She'd known you were having a bad day by the snark you unleashed on her just a few hours ago.
The girls are nowhere to be found. You'd only just missed Cynthia Rose and Stacie's rehearsal time and when you called to find where they were their phones couldn't be reached. You're wondering what that was about.
Anna was AWOL too. She had left you to your own devices for once. Seems a surprising thing for her to do but nothing seemed too unordinary today; everything seemed misplaced and a bit weird.
You wondered if you were having a dream like the night before and you pinch yourself, rather painfully, just to make sure.
You are actually glad that it's a short practice today and you are out just before 3.30. You don't have anywhere to go so you're just hanging around some busy shops along the nearest mall. You can't head home because you still can't shake the uneasiness and more so than before, you don't want to be alone.
You're heading down the more secluded parts to check out the not as crowded thrift shop to see if there was anything cool you could pick up. You take a shortcut down a narrow space and it's eerie how different the aura of the place was, almost abandoned looking though it was only a couple of footsteps away from the busy part of the building. You hear movement, the shuffling of heavy footsteps and your heart beats harder.
You almost jump out of your skin when your phone rings; you hadn't set your usual ringing tone and a DJ Mitchell mix pelted out. Your hand shakes when you grab for your phone. You see it's Anna calling and immediately pick up.
"Hey Chloe, it's Anna." She says cheerfully into your ear. It seems too loud. You glance around quickly.
"Hey Anna! Did I leave something behind at the studio?" You ask, unsure of why she is calling you so soon. Perhaps she had an apology for abandoning you during practice.
"No, nothing like that. We've just decided to schedule an extra practice tonight."
"Oh right. I just thought I'd …" Anywhere was better than here right and like you had already reasoned to yourself, you had nothing to do. "... oh, never mind, when and where do you need me?"
She gives you an address you hadn't heard of and you scribble it down on the back of the dogs home flyer. You thank Anna and end the call. You decide to forego the thrift shop and head back to the less peaceful but yet still safer area. You go to one of the Milktea places, buy yourself a soothing cup of camomile tea with extra pearls and sip on it as you dial Aubrey's office number to let her know you won't be home when she got off from work.
"Hey Bree! It's me. Are you okay to talk?" You ask.
"It's fine Chloe. How are you? Wait, where are you it's really loud!" She says, a little stiffly and very formally.
"I'm still out in Culver but that doesn't matter I've had the weirdest, scratch that mildly, no, honestly an entirely freaky day so far, like seriously, I don't think it can get any weirder." You fill Aubrey in on everything.
"Well. Thank goodness you're all done for today, maybe you can look forward to a relatively peaceful night?"
"Yeah, but no. I got a message before I called you from Anna saying to come in. The others are already there as it's near the residence where the rest of the contestants are staying. It's kind of a late afternoon, early evening vocal exercise class."
"So you have to get going?" Aubrey says, far too casual and her voice sounds small.
"Why, do you want to come? Is, um, Uncle Austin still in the office?" You ask and she nods silently. You're reminded strongly of Beca and how she used to avoid every and all chances to be stuck in the same room as her father.
You really should tell Aubrey to get a grip but you know her father and know what he was like. Cameron Mitchell was tame compared to him
"He wants to have a talk and you know what that means he'll probably be able to list out all the stuff I'm doing wrong, call me mediocre and tell me to pack my bags and go somewhere all in the opening sentence." Aubrey says her face serious. You decide to give Aubrey the reason and the excuse she was looking for her not to attend her dinner meeting with her Dad.
"Oh c'mon then. I don't think they'll mind as it's an impromptu session anyway. Plus it's off the studio lot so you're not already banned from there which is always a good thing."
"Don't remind me." Aubrey said, rolling her eyes, still slightly embarrassed by her actions.
"Well, I need my lawyer to come with me today, so how about I swing by the office and pick you up?" You ask, and she nods again. "I'm assuming Uncle Austin is there now?"
Aubrey clears her throat.
"OK." You say. "I'll be there in a hour. Can you get away?"
Aubrey nods again and for once, you are glad to be able her out instead. You wave your fingers at her as you end the call.
You arrive on time to meet her and you hail a taxi from the three that miraculously show up all at once. You gave the address to the driver and yet when you park outside of it you're still not convinced it's the right place.
"Really here?" Aubrey questions, raising an eyebrow at the dirty looking building.
"Uh, I'm not sure?"
"Well call them to make sure!" Aubrey says as you start to dial Stacie's number.
"I was already doing that!" You unintentionally snap at Aubrey but change your tone as you realize the reason you can call anyone is because Aubrey replaced your phone. "Sorry, I didn't mean …"
"It's OK!" Aubrey says, understanding the weird day you'd been having.
"And by the way thanks for sorting out my phone." You say as the call connects.
"I didn't do-" Aubrey starts to say but you are distracted as soon as Stacie picks up the phone. You can hear other voices in the background shouting.
"Who is it?" A chorus of several voices sound out.
"It's Chloe!" Stacie sings out.
"Chloe!" Cynthia Rose says excitedly.
"Chlo Chlo!" Fat Amy shouts.
"Shush guys, I need to talk to her." Stacie says, hushing the others as they crowd around her.
"Chlo? Why is Stacie the first person you call?" Amy shouts down the phone.
"Because Chloe loves me best!" Stacie laughs.
"Is that true Chloe?" Amy asks.
"Chloe happens to love me the most!" CR said, joining in the conversation.
"I'm her favorite after Beca! You told me so right, Chloe?" Amy squealed.
"I dunno. I just chose at random." You protest, trying to get a word in edgeways but the girls have already lifted your spirits.
"C'mon, if you were scrolling down your phone book, it's obvious that Amy comes before Stacie!" Stacie laughs out.
"So does Cynthia Rose!" CR said. "It actually comes first as I'm pretty sure she put in under your real name?"
"You know my real name?" Amy smirked.
"Isn't it Fat Amy?" Stacie asked.
"No, my real name is Patricia." Amy said quickly to move on from the conversation.
"Your name is Patricia?" Stacie said in confusion.
"So where's the Amy from?" CR asked.
"Long story. Dead Aunt (that I hated) had a parrot that I loved and it was called Amy. It died but it was not before it-" Amy explained.
"-Okay! Yeah, well we'll just not dwell on that, shall we!" Stacie mused.
"Uh huh. Yeah, you can't handle that story of my name which still comes before Stacie by the way!" Amy laughed, victoriously.
"Guys! I called to ask something important!" You interrupt them from getting into any further arguments.
"Okay shoot!" And mercifully there's silence on the other side.
"Wait, uh, I can't remember now what I wanted to say. Oh yeah, wait, no-" You mumble before Aubrey all but snatched the phone from you.
"-Hey guys! It's Bree."
You smirk and bark out a laugh when Aubrey flinches, moving her ear further from the phone receiver probably due to her getting the same overly enthusiastic reaction and reception from the girls. You notice the taxi driver is being patient, not being pushy about you getting out or paying. He switches off the engine, slipping it into neutral. You unclick your seatbelt as you smile at the catcalls and wolf whistles coming from your phone.
"I think I've gone deaf!" She murmurs before addressing the people on the phone again. She's cautious making sure to keep the phone at a length away from her now sensitive ears.
"Where's the practice going to be? Wait what, you're sure? Chloe and I are right outside the place you're saying and it's not a music room or the contestant house … oh, it's an old fitness place. There's probably a pool inside." She says, finally looking around the building properly.
You thank the driver, slipping him the fare for the ride and start making your way inside even before Aubrey finishes the phone conversation, there are a couple of steps before your reach the pool. You can hear the actual voices of your friends echoing all around.
"Uh whose idea was this, it seems rather dodgy?" Aubrey says, trailing behind you.
"Anna told the others that we would have to be here. Yeah, with the confusion this hell week has brought me, I've learned not to be surprised and to not question anything and just go with the flow now."
"Okay guys!" You say once you've reached the girls who all smile at you like you are long lost friend. There are warm and friendly hugs and many kisses placed on your cheeks. You love that Aubrey's receiving the same treatment even if she is a little overwhelmed by the amount of love being bestowed on her. She flinches slightly when Amy grabs her and pulls her in for a tight hug.
"Where you been Bree?" Amy almost shouted.
"Let her breathe!" Stacie says, pulling Amy off Aubrey.
"What's up? Where's Anna?" You laugh, feeling lighter than you have for a few days.
"Dunno." CR says, looking around. "This place is kinda creepy though."
"Why is it so dark?" Stacie asks.
"Because the lights are off!" Amy chuckles at her own joke.
"It smells funny in here." Aubrey says, wrinkling her nose.
"And kinda creepy! Like how you imagine a slasher movie to smell like." Amy ventures.
"Like what blood and guts?" You offer but regret it as soon as you do, now you can't help imagining a scene from that movie Prom Night: A Night To Dismember. It had really freaked you out. And with what had happened today, who could blame you but it fit the mood perfectly. You sidle up closer to the girls.
You all turn in unison at a sharp metallic sound, somewhere in the dark.
"What was that?" CR asks.
"So it's not just my over active imagination?" You say as a loud humming comes from the depths of the room. "I'm not sure I like this."
"Shall we go?" Stacie echoes what on all of your minds.
You all jump out of your skin as the door you had entered a couple of minutes slams shut with a distinct force.
"It's only the wind." CR says, as you all look uneasily at each other. "Just the wind."
"I shouldn't have had that chili for lunch." Amy quips, desperately trying to ease the tension.
The lights suddenly go out.
Everyone jumps and a couple of people scream but you aren't sure who it is in the blackness. You pull out your phone, the dim screen casting enough light about to show a few scared faces. The others copy your idea.
"Guys, let's go. "Aubrey starts, as she swiftly turns to head towards the door, using her phone to light the way. "Guys grab hold of each other." She instructs everyone.
"Cynthia Rose, please remove your hand from my backside." Aubrey suddenly says and you fight back a laugh.
"It wasn't me." She says, sounding offended. "I'm over here."
"Oh sorry-" Aubrey begins.
"Haha, it was me! I knew I was way off your waist but I still went for it." Amy admits. You start to laugh. How can anyone not recognize what they're holding in the dark? No one but Amy clearly but then you feel another hand land on your breast.
"Amy, that's my chest!"
"Uh, that's me Chlo. Sorry." Cynthia Rose says. "It was an accident, but they uh, if you don't mind me saying, they feel great."
"Hey, why isn't anyone grabbing at me."
"Stacie!"
"Stop with the groping! Just hold on to clothes if it's easier-if you can't tell one body part from the next." Aubrey instructs. "I feel I've been manhandled enough for the day."
You scuff your foot over something and you stumble, flail and nearly fall for a minute … but there's a hand quick to steady you. You've lost your bearings in the darkness it's all so disconcerting, it was scary alone not knowing what to hold on to but not knowing who had held you, that was even scarier.
Everyone automatically comes to a stop .
"What was that?" Cynthia asks.
"Who was that?" Stacie asks.
"When was that?" Amy asks and everyone stops at that question shining their lights on Amy.
"Just now … bonehead." Stacie answers. "What kind of a question was that?"
"Everyone was asking questions so I thought I'd give it a go. Also, you had to ask who? It was Chloe, wasn't it?"
"I knew it was Chloe but there was also something else-someone else."
"You're imagining things."
"You're only scaring yourself and everyone else." Cynthia Rose says.
"Chloe, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" Aubrey says, ignores them.
"No, my foot caught on something. I'm not sure what."
"Be careful! Just shine the lights on the pathway. And let's do this carefully so no one risks getting hurt, slow and steady everyone follow me." Aubrey says.
The five of you travel safely trying to cover some distance despite the snail pace.
"What was Anna thinking?"Aubrey asks clearly sounding frustrated, after a few moments of this.
It feels like you've been in the dark for ages now. You're cold and scared and not at all happy right now. The whole day you had felt miserable, where was the turn around huh?
"Yeah. She has a lot of questions to answer about why she chose this place of all places to practice!" You interrupt, readjusting your hold on the back of Aubrey's jacket. She's at the lead, then you, Stacie then Amy and finally Cynthia Rose bringing up the rear.
Everyone murmurs their agreement.
"I think she spends way too much time with Doctor Gail." You kid.
"I have half a mind to report her!" Aubrey says.
"Aubrey?" Amy says.
"It was a really dumb idea." Aubrey whispers.
"I'm sure she didn't intend for the lights to go out? It could be an electrical fault. Or maybe she had something in mind?" You offer as an explanation.
"Well right now I'm the one who minds." Aubrey bites.
"Anna's idea-" Stacie starts to say when she abruptly is cut off when there's laughter from behind you that echoes around the room, bouncing off the tiles, sending cold shivers down your spine and a heavy feeling in your heart.
Then there's a low voice talking.
"-Well … It wasn't really Anna's idea but mine! You can't get away now. I've got you all exactly where I want you."
A/N:Cue evil laugh. Any guesses to who it is? Anywho thanks for sticking around guys! There's plenty more to see in the next chaps.
