Author's Note: This is long overdue, my apologies. I really do want to get back into the stride of posting short chaps once a week, instead of long chapters every other month bear with me I'm sorting through a lot of things but keep your fingers crossed and also never fear I have all my plans, ideas written down(not really written but saved somewhere safe)I just need to tie them all up properly and if I play my cards right you'll have a pretty little present to make each and every one of you happy. Hope to hear from you all about what you liked or didn't like about this chapter. Also thanks to my beta who worked hard and stayed patient with me through numerous redrafts.
Chap 29
The music starts before your heart can settle down; it's crazy and loud and fast.
Guess who's back
Back again
And you hear, as well as feel the movement going around you; the shuffling of bodies, the slight brushes, the squeak of a shoe on the tile. You're already jumpy to begin with as you are not sure who was who and what was what. And to be left puzzling and to have no inkling whatsoever over what exactly it was that was going on and having no answers … it was terrifying ordeal to be in.
Shady's back
Tell a friend
Everything was just this dark, inky abyss and with Cynthia Rose clamped tightly by your side, you couldn't move or do anything. You want to scream but the music is so loud and there is so much movement closing in and overwhelming you that you can't make your mouth move properly.
You could only just stay put and wait it out and let it happen. You feel yourself huddle to the ground, covering your ears wanting it all to past. You almost feel the nausea from the heavy drop, reeling from the descent into madness; you imagine this is how Alice felt like when she was falling down the rabbit hole.
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back …
The lights come back on and they're glaringly bright and they blind you. Your eyes adjust enough that you can see where the music is coming from it's source; several people have boom boxes blasting out a surprising mix of Eminem's 'Without Me' mashed up with Eurythmics' 'Sweet Dreams' and despite the hot, hard thumping in your chest, you still somehow recognise that it is a really good one. Cynthia Rose helps you back to your feet and you chance a quick look at the rest of your friends wondering if they were in on this but no, they look to be as flummoxed as you, taking in the on goings their eyes huge with shock.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
You had no idea what happened to the person who had laughed, then spoken out loud in a voice that you simply couldn't place, before all hell, or whatever this was, broke loose. You look around but no, there's too much going on to zero in on a particular someone … though it could be any one of these people. You couldn't be certain who or what to look for exactly. The voice, something about it niggles at you, it hadn't sounded like anyone you knew if you'd count Darth Vader or something because it sounded a bit like him, almost sounded mechanical, distorted; like some sort of effect.
That had been chilling, everything leading up to it more so, but this what was happening right now, was a different kind of mind game you just couldn't get over how weird it was, and disconcerting.
Sweet dreams are made of this
But this wasn't a dream; you were wide awake.
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little controversy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me
The build begins, then the lyrics and everything else is lost behind all that's going on. There are dozens upon dozens of twirling, moving bodies dancing out some choreography and you finally twig; it's a flash mob. And all you can think is 'really?'.
Little hellions kids feeling rebellious
embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
they start feeling like prisoners, helpless,
'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution, polluting the air waves a rebel
so just let me revel and bask, in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well, I'm back
The choreography is quite elaborate; hip hop and ballet moves with some jazz thrown in there. It's quite beautiful and you would've totally appreciated it, if it were in, perhaps, a different time or circumstance but no, just nope.
'Cos right now all you're just wondering who in the world had arranged this, put you through a whole day of scares, then throw something as seemingly harmless as a flash mob to throw you off to mess with you.
'What the hell?' You think to yourself as you recognize a few of the dancers; you've seen them at the studios working closely with Jesse.
Fix your bent antennae tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?
'Who the hell could it be? Was it him; the crazy mind is behind all of it?' Shit, what was with the presentation before the actual reveal, this was proving to be scarier than the supposed stalker! Was he capable of such a thing; to choreograph your final moments? Would he pull the curtain, put a close to the show, then follow on through to you and your friends?
He said he had wanted to be rid of you, so was this it?
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world and the seven seas
The big finish comes after some tumbles, several backflips and a couple of very complex poses as the dancers part like the Red Sea and then, out of nowhere there's a banner and a pair of legs pushing through the throng of people.
The suspense is killing you.
"WE'RE BACK For The Win!" The low voices rumbles across the tiles and then you hear a something that could be a giggle, if it weren't so low and deep sounding; it's more like an evil distorted cackle to you. "Oh wait, the thing's still on! Wait a minute … I'll switch it off." the voice goes on oblivious to the havoc it's inflicting upon you and your insides. Seriously, it's really creepy and it makes your hair stand on end.
"There … much better." The voice laughs and you can hear the real voice behind it now, distinctly female and very familiar.
"Is Team Beca reeaaady … to make a stand?"
The banner drops and there was the coach herself standing in the middle of it all, surrounded by laughing dancers.
"BECA?" Each of you frightened girls, still standing closely together, choruses. Her appearance was only just enough to prompt a certain response, a recovery from temporary shock.
She smiles and gives an awkward little wave, her hand's heavy, carrying what looks to be a special megaphone, her eyes immediately seek you out in the crowd.
"SURPRISE!" She says, her arms spreading wide like in a 'tada' pose, to which there's a pause and still not one of you reacts.
She lowers the megaphone and it's promptly picked up and whisked away by someone else. The dancers immediately proceed to file out(they clean up in the process leaving no trace of their having ever been there) , exiting, leaving you girls alone with the woman who had in some way wronged or had offended each and everyone of you.
"So I guess the surprise worked too well huh? Should I be giving you guys more time to recover?" Beca comments once they're gone, taking in the still motionless, reactionless demeanor of every single one of you.
You narrow your eyes.
"It was ... you?" You exclaim, half-demanded her utterance jump-starting your reaction and response. You frown; your mind is racing back over the day you've just had. "You're what's behind everything that has happened today?" It sounds like an accusation and it was exactly that because you couldn't quite understand what was her reason behind all the secrecy, the cloak and daggerness of it all. It wasn't making any sense.
"Well … yeah." She starts to say, the slight smile on her face faltering.
You should've known though, you'd had an inkling, a feeling. You think back to the black corded bracelet; the kind that you'd seen most on one particular person … this person right in front of you who was wearing only three when she usually had four on her wrist. What a total 'face-palm moment' but it was understandable, she had been gone for almost three days now, and not forgetting to mention she was supposed to be, or should've been, hundreds of miles away.
And now you had gotten the whole 'Beca couldn't be doing this, she's in another continent' block out of your head, everything is falling into place. Plus, some of those dancers that had looked too familiar, you can finally place them. They'd also been in a couple of Beca's music videos. How that had slipped your mind you don't know, you had watched them a couple of thousand, a couple million of times in fact … before, well a long time ago. Maybe a possible explanation would be was because when you used to watch it yourself your focus used to be on Beca alone, hmm, no that's not it, could it?
You want to ask or demand something more out of her and you open your mouth to do so, to say something, anything but Aubrey cuts across you.
"What in the aca-God's name did you think you were doing Beca?" She barked.
You mull over the question yourself and the possible reason behind her highly questionable actions; assuming it was her behind everything. Now thinking about it, everything that had been happening did sort of scream Beca Mitchell in some way but what was her thought process behind this? Had she intentionally done this to scare you? Because it worked! Had she wanted your heart to speed up … and almost burst entirely out of your chest? If she had, well she had more than succeeded!
"I saw an opportunity and I just couldn't resist." Beca tried to explain looking from one person to the next and you could see her worry line appearing, deepening across her forehead. She gulped heavily a couple of times as she comes to the realization that her fun surprise plan may have just backfired.
"You nearly gave me … no, all of us all heart attacks with the stunt that you just pulled." Aubrey snarls.
Beca's smile disappears completely and she runs her hand through her hair looking totally thrown, uneasy, uncertain, embarrassed.
"I didn't mean to-"
"-No, you just didn't think. This entire place screams warning fatal injury and you left us to make our way in the dark."
"It was only supposed to be a laugh, a little fun to loosen or lighten things up"
"Yeah do you see anyone laughing right now? For Pete's sake, can you be anymore psychotic?"
You can't help but notice how small she suddenly looks and your heart misses a beat. 'No, nu-uh not happening … must ... remain ... indifferent.' You tell yourself.
But somehow you guess, judging by her whole demeanor, maybe she hadn't meant to? Maybe she had been trying to be sweet? Which you admit looking past the scary day … it was sort of romantic, in a sort of twisted person's way of being romantic … and oh yeah, seeing who was concerned, you had temporarily forgotten who you were thinking about for just a second. The girl who hated all things romcom, who had no tolerance for such things and didn't quite believe in fairy tale endings and such. You could totally see her finding it, mistaking it for some kind of romantic gesture.
You'd like it if say, you were into being crazy stalked, hmmm, wait, what? Was she now returning the favor.
This was a real case of head and heart battling against each other. Because seriously, you'd never felt more confused or baffled and out of sorts, and her actions have been all the more confusing.
It seems like everything actually was a battle these days, it seems like your whole life or love story had gotten all muddled up a couple of chapters ago. You begin to wonder if you or even Beca could be diagnosed as bi-polar as with the way you two kept changing your minds and acting out of character sometimes as of late.
Like right now you're torn. Of course understandably you're angry, livid even with her about Jesse, because she left for London promising to go to do work, not to do him … apparently blurring work and play between the two of them was the norm. She knew and you knew she knew, you both knew how tricky it was with her working with him. She was well aware of the complications that would arise from her willingly going to him and him expecting something out of her. You knew how cunning he could be, knowing exactly how to play it, how to play her and her emotions and she had gone anyway and well…look what happened; she had played right into his … hands (you really don't wanna think about him getting his hands on her, it's making you sick). You don't really know what's up with her how could she fall for it-fall back into it so easily; was she blind, stupid? Her loyalty to him, her belief in him was just plain ridiculous. What was going through her mind?
And yet people could easily question your actions your towards regarding her...could easily say the same thing about the way you were with her…how somehow you still find yourself wanting to give her that chance for her to explain things-to clear things up.
Because in truth, you don't know exactly what transpired between them and now she was back seemingly to offer you something, to provide answers; a peace of mind. You want to get to the bottom of things. But you're wary because that may not be in the cards for you just yet, or ever, because what you've come to expect, judging by your experience so far with her, instead of the explanations answering all your questions, it'd only be surpassed even replaced by even more questions or worse what you hate the thought of most was getting even more excuses.
And she was always making things all the more difficult doing this; saying one thing and doing another as she came and went. And this time she came and she shifted the whole balance. With the whole London trip, you would leave it up to her to complete the picture because right now, like everything else about the two of you everything was uncertain. Everything right now was a big question mark over your status with her.
"Why are you even here?" Aubrey asked pulling one of the many streams of questions threatening to come out of your own mouth before you have a chance to speak; though you aren't really sure you would've done. You're lost in your own inner musings. You had wanted to ask her outright, but you want to get the answers yourself without an audience. No matter how annoyed you were you didn't want to drag it, the information you were seeking, out of her in front of everyone.
You're actually not sure if you want to ask. You can feel your inner turmoil and the two sides battling it out. You wanna know but at the same time you don't want to hear the details-what exactly happened between her and Jesse. And there goes your stomach again churning … you taste the acid bile as unwanted images of the two of then wrapped up in each other in his hotel room, in his bed, that night burst into your thoughts.
You clench your jaw painfully, scrunch your eyes together tightly and take several breaths to calm yourself. Seriously the stress of this whole Beca thing was really getting to you so much that it actually felt like it was affecting your health now. It very well could ... would probably kill you.
"Uh, me coach." Beca says, pointing to herself before gesturing to the others. "The girls my team. Remember? Why are you?"
"Chloe's emotional support. Also I'm here 'cos someone has to be and at least I'm here with them unlike y'know some unreliable coaches who don't have the history or the best track record of being responsible. You know the kind? The ones that keep flying off and assigning other people to handle their own artists." Aubrey said bluntly, and you wince slightly as you watch Aubrey single handedly wipe the slight smirk and any trace of your former cocky idol from Beca's face.
There's a long heavy silence, no one speaks up for Beca not even herself.
"Wait a minute …" Fat Amy says after a tense pause. "... so why am I here then?" You inwardly smile as you sometimes you had to remind yourself that Amy wasn't part of Team Beca. You tended to forget because everyone hung out together all the time.
"And also um didn't you have some launch that you couldn't get out off in London? Something more pressing and worthy of your time weighing in comparison to everyone here." Amy asks in a tone that completely doesn't suit her. She's being unfunny, wholly serious, and that's what makes it more off putting.
"We're just asking 'cos Anna was already you know filling in and she said you wouldn't be back until like two days from now." Stacie says formally speaking over Fat Amy.
"You don't have to explain why you're asking-" Beca begins to say a slight confused smile reappearing on her face.
"-Oh sorry, we thought that basically us speaking up without permission wasn't welcome!" Stacie says false cheerily
"Or speaking at all?" Cynthia Rose adds
"Wouldn't want to step or speak out of turn." Fat Amy pitches in
"Yeah we should know our place as mere contestants in this show!" You say, taking a turn.
"Totally dispensable?" Aubrey offers
"Not worth her time." Stacie mused.
"Or her effort." CR again
"Her attention." Fat Amy quickly follows.
"Or care even." Aubrey supplies.
"Because she definitely has none for anything we have to say." You say
"Well, we don't care either!" Fat Amy says crossing her arms, her face completely serious, wiped of any trace of humor.
"About her or what she has to say." Stacie adds.
"Well not anymore, I guess." Fat Amy amends.
"We've moved on." You say.
"We're perfectly fine with Anna." Cynthia Rose said.
"But we, of course, respectfully apologize for all we are saying Miss Mitchell, really." Stacie said.
"But we'd prefer Anna though. Please." Aubrey adds though she was clearly not at all part of the conversation and shouldn't be saying anything at all.
"Cos we weren't really expecting you, or anything from you at all … maybe for a while or even ever. We don't really care what you tell the management people it's okay you can leave us to other people and still take the credit for being our coach, we won't rat on you or anything." Cynthia Rose bites out.
Beca finally decides to speak out, finding her tongue.
"But I'm here now. I flew back early. I took two planes, transferred between four different airports in Europe to try and get on a flight, non direct flights I hasten to add cos I was hoping, if it's any way possible, for us to just resume where we left off?"
She's referring the sentence to everyone but she looks directly to you at the end of her speech.
Everyone reacts accordingly, Aubrey scoffs, folds her arms and rolls her eyes while the others remain unimpressed, straight faced, sitting in stony silence. It's odd how everyone's more subdued together than you've ever seen them. There's a sense of lingering awkwardness, a discomfort that's so palpable. Beca looks around, sighing at the lackluster response, sensing and knowing exactly what's it about.
The silence drags on longer than is comfortable and Beca finally speaks up.
"Girls, can I say something? Uh, erm *cough* please?"
You raise your head to look, wondering what she has to say.
"Yes, what do you have to say for yourself and also in the process can you explain what exactly is wrong with you?" Aubrey says bluntly.
Beca spares Aubrey a glance. "Please Aubrey I'm trying to fix things between me and my girls."
"Funny how you just have the knack for getting into situations where you need to make things up to people and beg for their forgiveness, isn't it Beca?"
The girls around you seemed to break character. They shifted uncomfortably and glanced at each other, uncertainty weighing in their features showing how unused they were to holding grudges against anyone, especially this particular someone being Beca, who had from the start endeared herself to everyone; especially to them. Lately, during these past bad days, she was right about everyone seeing her faults more clearly. Everything she did wrong in reaction to what was going on and no one liking what they saw ... or her at all or much lately.
"Look I know I haven't been the most chill coach lately-"
"-Total understatement!" Fat Amy mutters aloud and she jumps when everyone's eyes land on her. "Oh, wait did I say that out loud? Sorry." She says though she doesn't really sound it.
The hate was pouring from all round in for the once beloved Beca Mitchell. You look around, wondering at how in tune you all seemed to be. You're all at the same level anger wise how it almost seemed like you had rehearsed that part earlier, taking turns in attacking Beca, while Beca just for once sat there and took it; her calm-countenance never wavering.
"Yes, and no, it's okay you're right." Beca looks up at Amy.
"Also try the words bone chilling, unpleasant, undesirable like your whole reappearance; it's off putting and weird."
And you actually didn't like it. It was one thing for you to feel snark about Beca, you felt you had more right than most. But admittedly, the girls and their reactions; it made you feel a tiny bit uneasy.
She swallows a few times before continuing.
"YES! Granted that this surprise was in poor taste. I've picked up on that vibe for sure. But what I, uh, really wanted to apologize for was the other day when I was shouting and snapping at everyone. I shouldn't have taken that tone with you girls. You were only trying to help. Actually, I want to apologize for everything. I haven't been delivering on my word as a Coach to my team, to my girls and as a friend to, well yes, to my girls again. I'm trying to fix things and I want to do better. I need to do my best to make it up to everyone. And I know I can't just say that, I have to deliver on my word. I know … I've been all talk so far, but that's I'm here now to deliver. And that's why I will be relieving Anna of her co-coaching duties and I will uh, I'll be working with you guys again single-handedly."
Beca pauses for a moment to let the news sink in.
"We're not sure how to react to that." Cynthia Rose says and there are murmurs of agreement.
"Okay, let me explain." Beca said.
"Please do, God knows we could get a clear picture inside that messed up brain of yours. Be nice, for a change, if you did." Aubrey snarked and you put your hand on her arm.
"In the beginning-"
"-God created the heavens and the earth." Amy said and after a pause muttered the rest. "Sorry, dunno why I knew that passage." She laughs lowly to herself.
"You done?" Stacie asks Amy pointedly.
"Oh, sorry do go on."
"So yeah, in the beginning, I took the job on as a Coach on The Voice because I wanted to do something different. Call it a new challenge, making a difference or whatever. I'm always interested in finding new talent and seeing some of the acts that have passed through has been amazing."
"Some were so-so... not that good!" Stacie offers her opinion. "Just saying."
"True. True. But it's still an eye opener." Beca muses, trying to lift the situation. "Truth though, I was stuck in a rut. Call it a mental block if you like but in all honesty, I was exhausted and stopped taking offers of movie work, I didn't want to do any collaborations and I certainly felt no creative spark with recording. My Agent kept up the pretense that I was busy and I did a few talk shows and the eagle eyed among you …" Beca cast her eyes towards you at this point. "... will probably have noticed how I skirted around the issue of what I was up to. This happens a lot, just so you know. A lot of us get a little burnt out. I needed something, to look forward to, to bring back the spark and give my life some meaning I guess."
She ran her fingers through her air and flexed her fingers before she continued.
"So, when the offer came up to do this, to be a Coach and support a team, it sparked something within me that I'd lost. I felt excited again, it felt new, something I could do and I wanted to be a part of something bigger. In a way I know I wanted to experience it all firsthand and be able to make a difference to someone's career, to find someone raw, and fresh and to be able to help be a part of that journey. And the show gave me all that and so much more. Cos I never dreamed that I'd meet the most amazing people, to be able to make such a deep connection with the contestants, especially the ones I have standing with me now."
She throws a look at Aubrey and just noticeably shrugs her shoulders before continuing.
"And despite that I lost sight of everything because all the issues that got in the way after we became close because I had to keep up the mentor role, I also had to keep a distance from you, keeping you all at arms length. I had to shut you out but I'd forgotten to be fair to you guys 'cos I wasn't. I stopped being your friend and then when it all wrong I made things worse, and I didn't help at all. I, uh, went so far within myself I forgot to be, well I became a sucky, unreliable coach. I know I've been lacking in that department and you all deserved better from me-"
"-Amen to that." Amy laughed out to that, then remembered she had no right to be there so busied herself looking at her shoes.
"Look, I'm your age, okay? And yet I have no friends to show for it, because for more than half my life I'd been working my ass off. I'm dedicated to my craft. My friends are all work friends just colleagues. While the industry wanted me I had to strike while the iron was hot. I worked my ass off to secure a place for myself, to find some certainty. Although, in this business nothing's all that guaranteed. Today I'm here as a coach on The Voice yet tomorrow I could be gone, old news."
"I always put this; my job, this life before everything and because of that, I have no one. I don't know how to sit and paint my nails with girlfriends, or snuggle under blankets, eating pizza, watching rom coms and I have no clue what it means to have friends who really care. The ones I used to have just wanted me for my connections and a step up in the industry. A few, even including members of my own family just wanted me for money; felt I owed them a debt because I've got a few dollars in the bank. The only person who I considered as a friend, that I could call upon was Jesse."
You flinch slightly at his name and you desperately try to school your features into something you hoped was impassive. Beca watched you for just a moment too long and the murmurings around you start to get louder.
"Look guys, I know. Enough talk, enough drama … I won't add anything more- there's been too much of it going around as of late." Beca said, putting up her hands in mock surrender. "I just, what I actually ... I wanted to say that I wholly, fully apologize, for everything. What I did was a really dick move and I shouldn't have brought you down here to the pool and uh, surprising you, forcing the flash mob on you, without asking you guys." She says wryly, but then becomes far more serious
"And I definitely shouldn't have left to go to London and all those other things and engagements that I attended that I put first before you all. I've let you guys down time and again and for that I'm really sorry. I can't change the past, what's done is done. I can only step up now and offer you a promise. A promise to be here NOW. I've cancelled everything and anything in my diary and I've cleared my schedule from now until the end of the recording of the show. I can't promise to be perfect and I'm going to make mistakes but I'll be here to support you, train you and possibly kick some ass. You are ALL my main focus now. Nothing else is important. I want to be the Coach that you all deserve and then maybe everything else will fall into place behind that. So … guys, if you would have me, I want back in."
"Is this for real?" Cynthia Rose asked.
"Yes." Beca said, her eyes holding onto CR's. There's a couple seconds where everyone's just silent stewing, absorbing the information taking it all in, and everyone of them just simultaneously shrugs.
"Okay, okay, cool." CR said, mashing her lips and nodding speaking for them.
"What made you change your mind and come back early from London?" Stacie asked.
"I realized that my priorities were all wrong and certain people making decisions for me didn't always have all my best interests at heart." Beca said honestly, yet still slightly cryptically. "It took me being away to realize what I was losing."
"You have to forgive me when I say I'm not convinced." You reply directly. Her bringing up Jesse and London had only added to your reservations, causing you to put your guard up. She was saying a lot of things, giving many more promises but you have yet to get any real answers from Beca.
"I'm here now and I'm not leaving." Beca says, standing steadfast.
"That sounds familiar." You scoff.
"No really, I'm going to stay and stick with this. I've realized what is important. I want it to work, more than anything. And I will work hand in hand with you all."
"Until you have to fly off back to England and do your real work?" Now it's an argument between the two of you and the others are just trying to surreptitiously blend into the back ground.
"I just said that I'm not flying off to London." She stresses again and you can see a flash in her eyes; but it's not anger, she's not cross just determined.
"Don't you still have things to do? Some unfinished business there?" You ask, wanting answers needing it desperately to sate your troubled mind but don't want to draw attention to yourself in front of the group.
"I'm done, it's done. I made sure to finish it, tied up any and all loose ends." Beca says, fixing a look at you that suggests that is all she is prepared to say. You frown at this but Beca doesn't give anything further. She turns towards the others and it almost seems like it hadn't been a conversation meant for the two of you only.
You're a little unsure and you question if you are over-thinking the whole thing. Could it be that she did just drop everything and come back to straighten things out. The Voice, her mentoring and her recording were all part of her life and she was a very busy girl. It dawns on you and you realize that she has just flown halfway around the world after organizing what she, rightly or wrongly, were some sweet, albeit slightly creepy surprises.
You realize that this-that she had been putting in some effort, which really was what you asked for. She had also laid her vulnerable side out for everyone to see. And you realize that this was a pretty huge deal for her.
Still you can't quite shake off your reservations, which was understandable. But you realize that you can, that you'll have to cut her some slack, at least coaching-wise. She isn't off the hook just yet…
"Coach Beca." You say, feeling the need to take this back to basics, feeling the need address her formally.
"Um, Yes?" Beca said, looking confused and a bit thrown off.
"So I guess a 'Thank you' is in order."
She tenses observing you wearily perhaps expecting you to continue to give her a hard time. You're almost tempted too but you had to get back to the whole competition aspect of this story you had to make things if not right at least okay to give way to help re-establish the once seamless group dynamics. You, well the both of you, had to get over yourselves to make it work again.
"Uh, what? I mean why?"
"For what you said. Thank you." You continue. "That means a whole lot ... to the group-it really does."
"You're … welcome. " She says hesitantly, "I meant … mean every word." Beca said, her jaw set determinedly her eyes blazing now.
"Yeah we appreciate all those ... words … the speech thing." Fat Amy says nodding repeatedly.
"And we uh, feel bad about what we said," Stacie says clearing her throat while staring at her nails "but we don't take it back … but we are moving forward from all that." She says raising her face her eyes to meet Beca, her tone softer more friendly now.
"Yeah start anew and all that jazz." Cynthia Rose says.
"Order has been restored; the Team's back together… and we can be on our way to things being better with us from now on. We'll be okay now right?" She says to everyone but she's looking at you from the corner of her eye.
"Are we still just talking about the show?" You can't help asking.
Beca opened her mouth to speak but Amy talked across her.
"What about me?" Amy asked. "I've been trying to bring it up, I'm sure you've all forgotten 'cos you all love being in my company but technically I'm not part of-"
"-Of course you are Team Blake. I can have a word with your Coach. You'll have to be there of course, but there's no reason why you guys can't all hang out together and practice. You're an adopted member of Team Beca y'know that. There are group numbers coming up anyway."
"We do kinda need the practice!" CR laughed.
And it's all sunny and smiles.
"Awww, soppy moment." Amy cheered. "Group hug!"
"There's no need for all that Amy, it's all ... ooooomph." Beca started to say before being swept up by the Australian.
"So, Beca, the stuff you said that you promised … you can't just let them be mere words right we have to make them come into fruition."
"Yeah, that was the intro to why I'm here. I kinda already made a start on that ergo why I'm standing here instead of being overseas. Oh wait, did you like want me to get that down on paper and sign it or something and you'll be the witness. I can do that." She gets out with difficulty, her sentence punctuated by wheezes.
"No, we don't have to do that. I was just asking if you were prepared to throw down a pact or a binding agreement. It doesn't need to be written, it's just sort of understood?" Aubrey asked, thoroughly enjoying watching Beca get squeezed by Amy.
"Amy? I need to breathe!" Beca hissed out, purple faced, though she's laughing as well as coughing as she's set back on the pool tiles.
"Yes Aubrey, I will. I'm here, I'll be here."
"Girls, are you also willing to join Beca in this pact? To up your game?" Aubrey continued and you could place her so easily in her office, staring down a difficult client. You heard several muttered yeses. Aubrey threw her hand in to the centre of the group. "Hands in then?"
All of them looked around at each other, slightly confused.
"Hands in aca-bitches." She called out. There's a scramble as everyone's hands get into the circle quickly. Beca's accidentally brushes yours and you quickly pull away. You're unprepared for that little jolt you felt, much like static. You look up quickly meeting Beca's equally surprised gaze. 'Did she still have static from the airport' you wonder randomly. Beca looks down and backs up a bit giving you space. You bite your lip and drop your gaze.
Meanwhile Aubrey's still speaking.
"This a two-way street thing. This is what it is basically commitment. " Aubrey says taking the nearest hand to hers, Fat Amy's hand, moving it, squeezing it to further emphasize her words and what she was saying. "To own all the talent, strength that you beautiful women possess." Aubrey says patting Amy's hand one more time before releasing it.
"I thought I was never going to get my hand back." Fat Amy comments.
Aubrey suddenly takes her hand again. Before she continues she sends one stern look and urges the rest of you to do the same in joining hands with each other. You take Fat Amy's other hand, Stacie takes Aubrey's and Cynthia's, then Cynthia and Beca then Beca holds out her hand you hesitate only a moment then you take it.
"To be the best you can possibly be, you have to believe in yourselves, that you're all going to secure a place in the top spots … you have to believe in woman power. Because we are powerful, we are fierce … we are women, hear us ROAR!" She says bringing Stacy and Amy's arms high above her head and waving it about wildly.
You bite your lip to stop from laughing as the expressions on their faces were priceless looking shocked wondering at how serious she was being perhaps even questioning her sanity. But Aubrey's excellent; her face is a perfect mask of seriousness like she meant business though you can't miss her eyes sparkle in that 'taking a piss' way.
"Come on say it 'we are powerful, we are fierce … we are women hear us ROAR!" She repeats, trying to get a rise out of the crowd and of course she could always count on you to back her up.
You loudly respond.
"I am powerful, I am fierce, I am woman, hear me ROAR." You say bringing your arms up as well as Beca's and Amy's fully getting into it moving your body as well as thrashing your hair about wildly. Once you're done Aubrey and you share a look and you have to quickly break it, less you burst into laughter.
"I only saw and heard Chloe." The rest of them look to you, you shrug trying to seem unaffected, like you were too used to it to be embarrassed, like you've been at the tail end of pep-talks just like these ones way too many times to be bothered. It's hard though and you're wondering who'd actually do it and you're beyond psyched to see them actually do it.
"Come on guys, we are powerful, we are fierce … we are women, hear us ROAR!" You chant.
By then however … you're insides are straining, holding the laughter in as they follow looking completely uncomfortable.
"We are powerful, we are fierce … we are women, hear us roar!" They reply.
"I don't hear the roar … you really have to roar...like really say the word making it sound like a Roooar towards the end." Aubrey says.
You're getting quite the laugh out of this. You bite your lip hard.
"Come on, 'We are women here us Roooar.' One. two. three."
"We are women here us...Roar-"
"You really have to work on that roar it has to be nice and elongated. Also from the diaphragm girls." Aubrey instructs sternly.
"Roooar."
"Almost there..."
"ROOAAR."
"Now from the top."
It takes several takes until Aubrey and you are satisfied and your sides are threatening to split, and they still haven't cottoned on to it being a harmless prank.
But whatever; towards the end they seem to be enjoying it, participating more and more enthusiastically.
Aubrey and you don't have the heart to reveal your tiny little joke besides the chant hadn't been useless; it had served to loosen things up to make things almost feel like it was back to normal again between all of you. Making the atmosphere seems more workable.
"Yeah, whoo I see what you are getting at … I'm feeling all womanly and … empowered like a fierce beast." Fat Amy says.
Beca cracks a huge smile. Your face responds without you meaning it to, with an equally huge smile, although its probably a result of withholding all that laughter. You're still feeling a bit breathless, slightly giddy.
"Now that's settled, let's make a start, shall we? To answer the million dollar question, and the reason why you all are here, including you Amy is that ..." She pauses for effect. "... we do actually have a group number for the next results show! Yaaaay!" She says getting adorably bouncy and excited her face beaming; she's also clapping her hands excitedly.
"Glad to know you're all excited about it." She continues looking hesitant when no one reacts. You think mostly everyone's taken aback not seeing this side of Beca in a long while, some not at all. But you all shrug and cheer after sharing a quick amused glance with each other.
"YAY!"
"ROAR!" Fat Amy bellows.
"Okay that's better…" She says grinning, enthusiasm restored. "So um I, uh, wanted to try something; a mash up that's been in my head for quite a while now." She says stretching, interlacing her hands then cracking them above her head. You see a glimpse of her toned stomach peeking out from under her shirt.
"It's a capella so it'll be a different kinda complex, there'll be a vocals starting with Stacie then Cynthia then Amy then featuring Chloe taking the lead to the first song. She'll be going solo and I'll be watching ready to intercept. I'll join in about two lines in, but she won't stop. She'll keep on performing and I'll only be backing vocals but I'll be right on her, I'll be right on top of her parts. It may seem sort of new and things may not flow so smoothly but it's basic chemistry and I know it'll just flow once we get the rhythm right. And once we work it out we'll be coming together quite nicely, quite powerfully I think."
You were feeling quite flustered, admittedly a little hot under the collar with her choice of words, it wasn't just your mind or you just thinking this based on the disgusted look on Aubrey's face and the peculiar amused slightly pervy looks on the others.
"That sounds ... hot." Stacie says
"Do you two need some alone time? Y'know ... to du-et." Cynthia Rose says trying unsuccessfully to hide her amused smirk.
"Huh? No! This a group number. Chloe and I will be the main vocals though." Beca says, not quite catching on and totally unaware of how she had sounded.
"I'm sure you'll both be getting very vocal with each other ... very soon. I bet if we left the room right now you'd get right down to getting vocal." Fat Amy says in her exaggerated, obvious way; her face expressing it all so that even Beca finally clued in to everything.
"No-I'm not-she's not. We won't.!" You sputter, knowing and hating that your face was probably as red as your hair right now.
Beca's more calm, trying to get back on track. "No, we can do it right here right now; we can practice with you guys here. We kinda need your voices as well for the number to work out the way I envisioned it to. The whole point of it being a group number and all."
"Wow, we get to be witnesses?" Fat Amy says. "I always thought voyeurism had massive appeal and just saying, it'll be a total honor experiencing it with the both of you…"
"Honestly the heat, or whatever ... this tension you have going on between you both,"
You glance at Beca feeling yourself become uncomfortable as well as annoyed at how transparent you were with how you were feeling towards her (though what you're feeling between the two of you is less of a sexual tension more just actual tension, maybe there was just a hint of the other mixed in)...so much that everyone else noticed enough to comment about it.
"Whew … like a while ago when the two of you were arguing; the way you looked about ready to jump the other. Not in a kill each other sort of way ..." She waggles her eyebrows "... but maybe it could be, y'know, 'I heard too much sex will do that to you' …" Cynthia Rose casually says.
"No such thing!" Stacie quickly cuts in. "I'm still standing, so ..."
"Er guys, can we get back to pressing matters …" You say trying try to steer the conversation away.
"I'm sure you'd like to get to pressing where it matters, you know around the pelvic area …" Fat Amy said, which makes Stacie and Cynthia snort with laughter.
"I'll give it a couple of days, or maybe two, for something to happen; for the two of you to spontaneously hook up or whatever." Stacie says pretending to study the both of you and giving her diagnosis some serious thought.
"We can give you all the time right now if you want." Cynthia Rose shrugs looking towards the other two who nod accommodatingly.
"Please do overshare afterwards." Stacie says with a sly smile.
"Please don't, and please stop." Aubrey says in a pained voice her hand twitching, you think with her wanting to raise it to cover her ears or maybe her mouth (maybe to stop from puking) or whatever. Probably her mouth, her gag reflex was sensitive about these stressful things, you and Beca things … no wonder she had been so quiet.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but Aubrey's right guys. We need to focus and not get distracted." Beca clears her throat as she reminds them gently, though her face is still a bright red.
"Okay, so where are the instruments? Where are the mics? The sound equipment? Why are we here in this empty space? Wait, what is this place. Where are we?" Fat Amy asks, totally oblivious to where she is standing, a couple of feet away from the pool.
"It's the pool area. We have been here for the past couple hour or so ..." Stacie says her tone suggesting incredulity at Fat Amy's sudden obliviousness.
"Yay!" Amy said excitedly. "I really felt like a swim, how'd you know? Gosh, I just wanna jump in!"
"I don't think that's the best idea-" Stacie laughed, looking around her.
"-Yeah, I know that I'll make a splash worthy of a tsunami! Hold on to the furniture if that's your concern." Amy said without malice.
"More likely that there's no risk of that happening, seeing as there's no water-" Beca deadpanned.
"-Huh!" Fat Amy said, looking to the pool. "Aww."
"Darn!" CR mirthed.
"So, uh, why here?"
"The echoing, the musical resonance, it's perfect acoustics for what I've got planned."
"And what is that exactly?"
"You guys feel like warming up, a capella style?"
"We're down with that!" Fat Amy answers and Cynthia Rose raised an eyebrow. "What? Annoyed that I stole your next line and delivered it better than you ever could?"
She rolls her eyes but chuckles lowly in unabashed amusement-
"That was, uh, anyway. What you got in mind Coach?"
"Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are and Nelly's Just A Dream?"
"Oh, please Mitchell, like you could even do any of those songs justice! Let the real a capella girls do the work here!" Aubrey says, jumping in looking fully restored no longer pale and pasty. You'd like to tell her off but seeing as she wasn't really part of this practice at all, you thought you'd best keep quiet. You knew of Aubrey's serious devotion to all things a capella; she wouldn't let Beca "Queen of Synthesizers, Turn Table and Fabricated Music" touch her beloved a capella.
"Speaking of work, don't you have to do that? I seem to see way too much of you. Are you actually going against your perfectionist nature by skiving off?" Beca asked Aubrey, the look on her face clearly showing it just dawned on her properly that Aubrey was standing amongst the contestants. "Or have they come to their senses and fired you by now?"
"Yeah, I am working … it's my job to look after Chloe, and no I had a light workload today." She says and you notice Aubrey's tell; her right eye twitching with her lie. "I came to observe and it looks like I arrived right on time. You are completely out of your jurisdiction here."
You know that Aubrey was ready to insult Beca if she rejected her offer, but somehow knew that she secretly hoped she wouldn't though she'd gladly be more than happy to school Beca if she said yes.
"Fine, okay." Beca said after thinking for a moment. "You can, um, help I'm assuming that's what you were trying to offer or phrase or whatever in your ... own words."
"You're letting me take over your session-" Aubrey said, not realizing she had revealed her true intent, thrown by the generous offer, more than a little surprised, and excited to that she had gotten her way.
"-Not 'take over' take over but, yeah, sure. You're the expert with a capella so maybe you can help the three girls as they've never done a capella together as a group before?"
Aubrey's beyond ecstatic. You could totally see how much she really missed working with music. You could almost see her really contemplating whether to get over her anti-Becaness enough to give her a hug.
She quickly gets over it and decides to put her happy feeling to good use, directing it elsewhere, immediately getting to work.
During the entirety of the Aubrey controlled session, you recall with some fondness so reminiscent it was of your college days, you are surprised that Beca not only gives Aubrey leeway to practice as well as direct the other girls, she seems open and very accommodating to all of Aubrey's ideas. She's extra patient of Aubrey's usual hyperactive, scary, controlling, bossy tendencies and handles her and everything pretty well if you do say so yourself.
They manage to equally contribute deciding, and coming into an agreement about how the finished product would be like.
After almost ten minutes the girls feel confident to try out the song, or their parts at least. Aubrey sings along and then Beca points at you to start singing.
You get through the first stanza and then there she is singing right along with you. You were singing different words, they were on a different beat from the other and yet when they sang; it was simply beautiful. The arrangement was absolutely seamless, like the two songs had meant to be put together. It was funny how their differences served to make them match up in a way no one else could have fathomed. They execute Beca's vision flawlessly and at the end everyone breaks into fully fledged grins, elated at how good everything had sounded.
"Damn you guys! Where have you been all my acapella life?" Aubrey smiles warmly. "I have been searching for you my whole aca-existence. Where were you girls when we had open auditions for the Bella's almost three years ago?"
"I was still in Tasmania. Yeah, I probably right at that moment just finished taking on a pack of wallabies in a cook out." Amy said.
"Uh-huh." Aubrey frowns then nods slowly, "What about you Stace, where were you?"
"In some kind of program or rehab for my addiction I think?" Stacie questioned herself.
"To sex?" Amy asked.
"What? No! My cuticle care. I used to over-clean my nails." Stacie admitted. Aubrey's frown deepens. Perhaps she was now wondering if they were the one's trying to get one over her this time.
"Well, I was being shunned and looked down upon because my "problem" as they call it." CR says in a grave tone causing Aubrey's expression to clear.
"People gave you a rough time when you came out? You were being harassed because you were gay?" Aubrey outright asks.
"No, I was out and proud my whole life. The whole town community learned to accept me as I was … and I was totally not talking about that." she says looking confused. "What gave you this idea, anywho it was something completely different. I had a ... gambling problem."
"Wow! I didn't see that one coming." Fat Amy says under her breath.
"And this whole session just spiraled into a whole 'let's go around and confess' type thing … what is this some AA meeting or something. I'm Aubrey and I'm an-"
"-No need to guess yours Aubrey." Beca was quick to snark. "What were you addicted to or obsessed with? Sucking out the fun out of everything?" She says.
"Yes and putting the alt girls like you in their place!" Aubrey retorts.
You know it was more or less harmless jabs-there was no real offense meant. They were just going through there whole cat and dog routine with some lighthearted teasing, semi-light ribbing that could go on for minutes if not stopped.
"Hi Aubrey!" Everybody choruses, effectively interrupting them, the two proceed to laugh it off, the lightness of the evening now making everyone relax.
"I've been two years healthy- having a handle on my controlling issues ... though honestly, I might just fall of the wagon to put another alt-girl in her place..."
"Don't worry...if you do...We're here for you!" Stacie laughs out.
After Practice
"So it's a real shame that we never actually got to use the pool for it's intended use, y'know to go do the swim thing!" Stacie said.
"Yeah, well it was totally useless taking us to a pool with no water though." Fat Amy mumbles to herself, Beca catches what she said and she smiled.
"Well, I do have one of those myself." Beca said. Fat Amy frowns in confusion. "A pool...guaranteed to be filled with lots of water." Beca specifies, seeing the look on her face.
"Didn't we already use this one for practice? Why do we need another one?" Aubrey pointed out, her eyes darkening slightly.
Yeah, of course. But mine, well, it's not for practice. I thought, um, maybe, um, you guys wanted to swim and it could be a thing. We could hang out if you want, you know? Minus the voice stuff. Completely off the record, um, just kinda hanging out, you know, like the days of old when the shit hadn't hit the fan just quite yet?"
"Oh the good ol' stinkless days." You said straightfaced. Beca's mouth twitches.
"But wait a minute, what you just said about being coach, the pact and everything, we just assumed you meant it specifically for the competition like a strictly professional relationship and such. Like only in the workplace kinda friendship." Stacie says.
"I meant it much more than that. I just really just want to make you guys count on me again." Beca said imploringly, her eyes finding then boring into yours before she continues. "All of you. We can work on the competition but we can also y'know, take breaks, and have fun every now and again like we used to; like before …like right now if you guys are up for it-"
"So not going to happen. It's late and everyone needs the rest." Aubrey said, pointedly.
"So raincheck? Like tomorrow perhaps …" Beca is quick to offer an alternative time.
"We don't know our plans just yet?" The girls say, hesitating; the walls suddenly being brought up again. It was one thing to say it was alright or cool between everyone, but perhaps they still needed more time to come to terms into what exactly would the renewal of the relationship what it would constitute, you know you definitely needed time to figure things out yourself.
"Okay. it's up to you guys. I guess if you're feeling like it you can come over. If not, then that's fine too." She said, a warm smile on her face hiding her fears.
When you've aca-signed off. Everyone starts to break apart to leave. So do you and Aubrey. She doesn't let you get your alone time to confront Beca and all but steers you away to the exit with her hands on your shoulders, not letting you even share a look or even say goodbye.
When you get home, as soon as you can, you go online and see some posts in private FB group page you shared with the girls. They were having a chat whether to go to Beca's place or not and the conversation had been going on and on about it but you could see they were leaning towards going.
Later that night you hear your phone beep with a message and later it buzzes as the call gets in, DJ Mitchell Titanium mix, Beca.
You really had to change that personalized ring tone, it does things to you that mix, it woke you up pretty good. You look at the open door … and run to close it, hoping Aubrey with her supersonic hearing wouldn't listen in.
"Hey!" Beca says and you can tell she is trying to be as upbeat as possible.
"Hey." You echo.
You both knew how different it would be, how strained, to interact without the ease of the others being there to distract from the real issue, to keep you pretending that everything was all right. During the group session you had glossed over everything, put aside your Bechloe issues in order to fix the more pressing group issues.
"So, I kinda wished we had been able to talk." She said carefully.
"Well, we are talking now, so …" You start to say, trailing off as you run out of things to say.
"So, I really wanted to explain everything." Beca spoke into the silence. "Jesse and I ... We were together because-" You couldn't hear anymore. You said you did want to hear an explanation but it had to stop there. You couldn't bear-you just can't.
"No need. I already got your message loud and clear." You say loudly cutting her off, swallow thickly before continuing. "You chose him. You're back together, yadda, yadda, yadda."
"Chloe, seriously. I can explain this but you already have this preconceived notion in your head and I know whatever I say might not even pierce through or anything." She admits.
"I'm not closed minded. I'm just not stupid. But when is hanging out with your ex ever a good thing? And with your history with him; getting back whenever it feels right or whatever, taking him into your bed, I just can't ..."
"Chloe! Look, I can't do this over the phone-"
"-Then hang up then. You called me remember?" You snap, your voice breaking towrds the end.
"No, no, please, I want to talk to you but I, uh, you see-" Beca tries again.
"-Please try to make sense any day now!" You snark into the mouthpiece.
"I can't talk to you right now…not while you're like this and also not like this over the phone." Beca said, suddenly sounding weary. "We have to do this face to face. I need to explain everything properly and I will, I promise. If you can maybe come over early tomorrow morning?"
"I dunno Beca ..." You murmur.
"You can ask me anything and I'll answer everything. I won't hold back, I absolutely promise."
"You're making a lot of those lately. I've yet to see it come to fruition."
"Tomorrow. You'll see, you'll know … everything."
"What do you-"
"-Tomorrow you'll know the truth about me, about him, everything. The answers you want, they're yours … all of it."
Sorry about the abrupt ending and just when it was getting to the good part...I had to, the chapter would've been even longer (who knew that was even possible) plus I didn't want to squeeze everything into this one chapter (have to distribute the drama evenly-kidding...I'm trying to dial down on the drama I know you're all fed up with it and with the two gals.) But i promise starting next chapter that things will take a different turn.
Up Next: Bechloe serious talk while in their suits-swim suits that is dun dun...
