8.1

Amy glares sullenly at her fangs in the mirror. Stupid Animal Attributes-Inator. She couldn't even go out and blow off some steam as the Dark Lady Plagg when she was in this state. It made people react with quite annoying and problematic panic anytime she took off her scarf. But she had hope now. Her Aunt Sarah had been able to get rid of her wings by Learning an Important Lesson, apparently. She refused to say what exactly her lesson was, so Amy guessed it was something embarrassing, like wetting the bed or something. Amy wasn't the only Dallon or Pelham rejuvenated by one of their member's success in curing themselves, and they were all tirelessly working at returning to their old selves.

Now, the question was, what Lesson did she have to Learn?

"You coward." Chris said.

"Please, you don't understand. I'm dating her. You're an acquaintance at best." Dean begged.

"Fine, but if she attacks me you better intervene."

"Oh, that reminds me. Hint a little bit at her anger issues as well."

The dreadful feeling in the put of his gut rapidly growing, Chris tentatively approached Victoria Dallon.

"H-Hey, there, Vicky." He greeted nervously.

"Hi, Chris," She said morosely.

"What's got you down?"

"It's this mermaid thing. I can get rid of it if I Learn an Important Lesson-" for some reason Chris could hear her capitalizing the words, "-but I can't think of what! I'm too perfect."

Chris looked blankly at the tearful blonde, then looked disbelievingly back at Dean, who gave him an encouraging smile and thumbs up. So far, so good.

"Uh… geeze, I wish I could help you, Vicky. Maybe I could… suggest some things?"

"Really?" She sniffled, shooting him a hopeful look.

"Yeah," He said, beginning to feel emboldened at not being crushed into so much human paste on the sidewalk after even implying that she actually had flaws. "Like, has someone ever told you that you can be a bit of a… shopaholic?"

"I AM PERFECTLY IN CONTROL OF MY URGES!" She roared, suddenly so close to him that their noses nearly touched, intimidation aura at full blast.

Fuck.

"NO, MOM!" Crystal wailed despairingly, but she was held back by her traitorous brother's shield.

"I'm sorry, Crystal, but it is my obligation as a mother to help you Learn your Important Lesson. What kind of parent would I be to let you walk around with a fox tail and ears and red hair? Furries would be all over you." Sarah said.

"NO, PLEASE, THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY!"

"Neil," Sarah said grimly. "Do the other one."

Apologetically, Neil snapped the Notebook DVD in half and let the remains fall onto a tall pile of similar debris. Reaching to his left, he grabbed another DVD. The Proposal this time.

"You have a problem, Crystal. And even though I know it pains you, we, your loving family, will cure you of it. No matter what."

The residents of the apartment building ignored the agonized cries that emitted from the Pelham family's apartment. It was par for the course by now.

"MARK, GET OVER HERE!"

"I AM ONE WITH NATURE, CAROL!"

Eric fidgeted uncomfortably as he dropped his shield after his dad had snapped the last CD.

"Crystal?" He asked carefully.

"My life is oveeerrr," She sobbed.

"Oh, oh no it isn't, sis. Here, come on, let's go and… eat raw cookie dough? Whatever it is normal kids do, besides studying or going to school or attending to basic human functions." What? Cape life took up a lot of his time, damn it.

"I, I'd like that, I think." She gave her trashed collection a mournful, soulful look.

"Maybe get you a new hobby, too." He said. "Something like knitting, maybe. Cooking. Something. As long as it isn't chick flicks. You're kind of obsessed."

"… Maybe you're right." She said reluctantly.

In between one blink and the next, her hair was suddenly blond, and her form one hundred percent human.

"AND SOMETIMES YOU'RE KIND OF TACTLESS!" Chris screamed, with the sort of wild recklessness that men who knew they were already going to die now anyways no matter what they said had.

"VICKY, NO!" Dean shouted desperately, trying to block Glory Girl's path to Chris with his own body. By the particular shade of red on her face though, Chris had to assume that that tactic would only last so long before she decided that the loss of her boyfriend's life was an acceptable sacrifice.

"Must. Crush." She ground out between teeth gritted so powerfully they looked like one solid white block.

"He's- he's just making stuff up, baby! To help you!"

That stalled her, momentarily.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Right, Chris?" Dean said, wiping sweat off his brow.

"Yes!" Chris clung to the lie like he was a drowning man and the ruse was a floating plank of wood. Hmm, now that he thought about it, that metaphor fit better if he just went ahead and said that he was Kate Winslet murdering Leonardo Dicaprio. No, wait, now the metaphor was weird again. "You are actually perfect, Victoria."

"Oh," She backed off, calming down. "Sorry about that. I guess you could say I'm not so perfect after all! I was kind of gullible there for a second."

"Yeah! And perhaps you also showed a tendency to try and solve all situations with violence, even when that shouldn't even be remotely in your considerations?"

"Excuse me?" She asked with a dangerous voice.

"Guess who I bought Channel for~" Dean shook the little bottle enticingly.

"Ooh!" She immediately opted to ignore Chris.

"And easily distracted." He muttered.

"Chris." Dean hissed.

"Shiny…" Victoria sighed happily, catching the sunlight with the glass of the perfume bottle.

"This is impossible." Amy said hopelessly. "I can't think of what to do! I've got too many faults to even begin."

"Maybe you insult your wife too much?" Sarah suggested.

"I said I was sorry about that!" Neil tried to defend himself.

"Or maybe you deny things. Or don't apologize enough."

"Do you think we were maybe too cruel with Crystal?" Neil tried to turn the conversation away from him. His wife had taken the weight comment a bit hard.

"She needed it, dear."

"Yeah, I guess s-"

"This is perfect!" Crystal said cheerily as she entered the kitchen.

"Crystal?" Sarah asked.

"You're cured!" Neil exclaimed.

"Yup!" She nodded. "And guess what? I found a loophole. All you've got to do is Learn the Lesson, and then you're scott free! Like, say, I realize I have a problem with chick flicks, get cured, and then I immediately go back to watching chick flicks. I Learned something, and then promptly let myself forget it! When you guys said that high school would be useful someday I certainly didn't imagine it to happen like this. Or at all. Welp, bye! There's a new romcom down at the cinema and I heard that Ronald Reynolds is gonna' be in it. Bye!"

There was a brief, stunned silence in the kitchen.

"… I'm breaking out the chocolate." Sarah decided.

"Get me some beer." Neil said. "And honey."

Maybe he was vain? Eric did care a lot about appearance, but admittedly it was mostly just his appearance that he obsessed over. Did that mean he had self-esteem issues? But then again he actually kind of enjoyed himself when he did it. It was like a game.

Perhaps he gamed too much. Yeah. Gamed too much in the very, very few free hours he had in any given week. That was surely it.

Groaning, Eric sunk into his bed. Who knew coming up with flaws could be this hard? Nobody else in the family had this problem!

Amy decided tiredly just to call it a night and take some aspirin.

AN: Sorry it took so long to post this, been having a bit of Writer's Block recently. Not entirely satisifed with this chapter, but eh.

8.2

Danny had just come home when his neighbor, Felix Civilian, crashed through his kitchen window as if thrown by a great force.

"Hello, Mr. Civilian." He said mildly, walking around the prone man surrounded by broken glass.

"Mr. Hebert!" Felix greeted him as cheerily as ever. "Pardon my intrusion, I just had a minor mishap with the lawnmower!"

"Oh yes, that happens to me all the time, too. Well, not the exploding part, but sometimes it will just take forever to start running." Danny said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "How's the missus doing?"

"Fine, fine," Felix said, standing up and dusting shards of glass off of him. "Well, she's a bit crabby that we didn't get to go the… briefing? Weapons store? Drug den?"

"A restaurant, I think you mean." Danny said helpfully.

"Right! A restaurant! Because that is somewhere where normal, harmless civilians like me and wife go to. Yes."

It was then that they heard a woman screaming in the direction of the Civilian's house.

"Trixie!" Felix shouted, and made way to jump out of the window.

It was then, of course, that a horrifying monster reached one gigantic hand into the kitchen and plucked Felix up like he was a mouse.

The bright red phone rang and Clockblocker answered it immediately.

"This is Clockblocker, heroic hero of the Wards speaking." He said.

There was a brief lull in which the person on the other side of the phone spoke.

"A kidnapping? How horrible! We'll be off immediately to set this wrong right, Mr. Hebert. Off to THE TECHNO QUEEN's lair!"

There was another moment of silence as Mr. Hebert talked.

"I… what? Are you sure? Not the Techno Queen? Are you sure? And the person kidnapped, it wasn't Charlotte Victim, head journalist of her school's paper? Oh… two people, you say. Your neighbors. Yes. Yes, I see. We'll get right on that, sir."

Eventually, Clockblocker hung up.

"Guys?" He said, and the Wards in the room looked up. "There's been a local kidnapping of two people by a gigantic monster… and it isn't the Techno Queen."

"… I'm scared." Vista shuddered.

THE TECHNO QUEEN read the text message Dennis had sent her for the third time.

Married couple just got kidnapped by monster, u involved?

"Tattletale." She said flatly.

Said villain immediately stiffened at her tone, before turning around woodenly and giving her an extremely fake and extremely blinding megawatt smile.

"Your majesty!" She said overly cheerily. "What can I do for you?"

"Someone in my town is kidnapping my helpless citizens without my permission under my nose. I'm supposed to be the one who kidnaps people! ME!"

"Now, your majesty-" Tattletale tried hopelessly to calm her down.

"No! This will not stand. I won't tolerate this! This bastard is going down. Stupid victim poacher."

Tattletale groaned with despair.

"Oh god oh god oh god-" The woman kept chanting fearfully.

Genesis honestly felt bad for her, but she tried to keep Trickster's words in mind. They had to get home. To do that, they need money. To get money, they needed to do jobs. And this one paid very well. Not surprising, seeing as it was Epoch of all people hiring them.

"Trixie!" The woman's husband reached out to her from Genesis' other hand.

Her heart broke a little bit at that. Being a villain wasnot fun.

"We're dead! We're so dead!" The woman said.

It was then that Genesis got a horrible feeling of… premonition. Ominousness. She looked wildly around herself, but saw no one, besides terrified onlookers sprinting away for their lives.

Eh. It was probably nothing.

Epoch sipped from his golden goblet, red wine sweet on his tongue. From the rafters, a trained raven flew down and perched upon his shoulder, blinking black, beady little eyes.

Soon, he would have revenge on the deserters.

But what was that ominous feeling he was getting?

The rest of the Travelers all shivered as one.

Tecton was in the middle of screwing in the last screw of the latest design of his suit when he suddenly froze up for no reason at all he could discern. After a minute he managed to shake it off, and he decided that maybe he need a break after all. Walking into the break room, he saw Cuff.

"Hey there," He greeted her amiably.

"Hi," She said anxiously, rubbing her arms as if she were cold. "God, I've been getting goose bumps for the last five minutes."

"You're telling me," Wanton said, walking into the room as well. "My palms won't stop sweating."

"My knee is acting up, like it does before a storm." Grace said from the couch.

"Stop acting like you're eighty, Kate." Wanton said.

"Stop acting like a doofus, doofus." She snapped back idly.

"Are we talking about how shitty we feel?" Raymancer said, walking into the room. "Because I just had a weird nightmare. I don't remember what it was about, but someone was laughing."

Annex literally popped up out of the floor.

"Oh thank god, I thought it was just me." He said. "I've felt like someone's been peering over my back the whole frickin' day."

"How odd," Tecton mused. "Maybe the cafeteria food was just bad today."

"Hey, wait a second." Cuff said. "If we're all here, then who's patrolling?"

There was a moment of silence before they all scrambled madly to head off to do some actual work.

"DASTRADLY TECHIES!" THE TECHNO QUEEN announced. "WE SHALL NOW GO TO… CHICAGO!"

"In a rocket?" Grue asked doubtfully.

"In a rocket." She nodded decisively.

8.3

"I was skeptical once you mentioned we'd be traveling by rocket." Grue said.

THE TECHNO QUEEN ignored him, fiddling with the remote still.

"I'd have been even more skeptical if you'd cared to mention that we would not be riding inside the rocket, but rather tied to its outside LIKE A ROADRUNNER CARTOON!"

"That's why I didn't tell you, silly!" THE TECHNO QUEEN said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Speaking of which, why do they get to drive with you in your TECHNO CAR!?" Regent demanded.

"That is not its name." THE TECHNO QUEEN said indignantly.

"Sweet talked my way into it." Tattletale grinned.

"Regent, I am shocked, just shocked that you would even imply that I should be strapped to such a dangerous device. I'm a child!" The Dark Vizier said with aghast.

"And what, we're made of rock?" Jailbird snapped.

"That still doesn't explain Bitch." The Velvet Villain pointed out.

"Put dogs on a rocket?" Bitch asked. "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Oh, yeah, right, because putting PEOPLE on a rocket makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE!" Grue shouted.

"I'm glad we've come to an agreement, Grue." THE TECHNO QUEEN said warmly, before pressing the big red button.

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIIIIC…"

And then they were gone.

"Off to the TECHNO MOBILE!" THE TECHNO QUEEN cheered.

Imp, even more grateful for her powers than usual, snuck into the backseat with the dogs.

"Man, this got a whole lot less terrifying after four hours of walking." Trixie sighed.

"Yeah," Felix agreed. "This is boring. And I need to pee."

"I am not stopping so that you can go pee." Genesis said indignantly. Where was the respect? "Again."

"But I got that milkshake." He whined.

"No means no!"

"I'm hungry," Trixie complained.

"We stopped at a fast food place half an hour ago!"

"I'm hungry again?"

"How long is it until we're in Chicago?" Felix asked.

"I don't know." Genesis said.

"What about now?" He asked.

"Still no."

"Hungry," Trixie said again.

Man, she'd lost all sympathy for these people pretty quickly. Give them an inch, and they take a mile.

Tecton answered his ringing phone without checking the caller ID. This, it turned out be, was a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake.

"Techon!" Clockblocker's voice rang out, and Tecton almost crushed the phone in his hand out of shock.

"It's Tecton." He rasped.

"Techoney!" Clockblocker said. "It's been so long since we last talked! I've missed you. Hey, just sending you a friendly heads up, but I'm required by law to come and give you a visit!"

"What." Tecton remembered Clockblocker's last 'visit'. He'd also heard what happened to poor Weld after Clockblocker had 'visited' him as well. He'd never been the same since. No. NO. This could NOT BE HAPPENING.

"I have so much to live for." He said out loud, without meaning to.

"Me too! We have so much in common!" Clockblocker chirped.

"Why are you required by law to come here?" Tecton tried to distract himself.

"Because THE TECHNO QUEEN shall be visiting your fine city, of course! No doubt to ravage and pillage everything within sight, that conniving witch."

Tecton began to cry.

And it hadn't even properly started yet either.

Cuff looked worriedly at their leader.

"Should we do something?" She asked.

"I don't know," Grace said. "Maybe we should just get Myrddin to do it."

"Nah, he said something about a suspicious murder he had to deal with. A couple of people were having sex when their hearts ripped their way out of their chests."

"TMI." Grace said flatly. "Meh, I guess it'll be okay."

Wanton was in the middle of patrolling when a screaming rocket landed on the street, creating a giant crater.

He of course immediately shifted into his tornado form. He then less of coursely approached the crater. Like an idiot.

Inside there lied four groaning Capes. A woman with yellow feather hair in a leather suit, a muscular guy in black leathers and a skull helmet, a pretty boy in renaissance fair, and a woman dressed as a creepy Victorian doll. If they weren't villains then Wanton would finally ask out Raymancer.

"Where the hell is Myrddin?" He said out loud, which sounded really creepy as he was still in his tornado form. It was as if the howling wind was speaking.

"Apparently wrapping up the heart thing, according to Cuff's texts. Something to do with drugs. Now he's dealing with some kind of ghost Master killing babies or whatever." Annex said, which was also creepy as he was in the fucking ground.

Wanton would have jumped if he was capable. It was easy to forget that Annex was around when he so often sunk into nearby surfaces for kicks. The dickhole.

"Man, that guy's always busy, isn't he?" Wanton said.

"Yeah. So, villains?"

"Yeah. Call it in at the Console, I'll try to stop them running away."

"Roger,"

It was then, of course, that Jailbird began to sing.

"Thanks for the ride, Slipstream!" Clockblocker said.

"Please just don't ever come to my city." Slipstream said.

"What does it even matter to you? You can just teleport away."

"I have friends in that city. Family. I know what your presence does to people." Slipstream fled.

Clockblocker shrugged and moved on.

"Ah, Chicago. Another city to deprave, to spread despair through, to force upon a death of the soul, of morals, or justice! MWAHAHAHA!" THE TECHNO QUEEN cackled.

"Are we there yet?" The Dark Vizier asked.

"I… yes." Tattletale furrowed her brow.

"What about now?"

"Still here."

The twelve year old gave a long sigh at this. Was she just going on autopilot? Or was she being deliberately annoying? It was hard to tell.

"Where are the rest?" Bitch asked.

"Oh, I'm sure the rocket landed somewhere around… this city. They're capable Parahumans, they'll find us eventually." THE TECHNO QUEEN shrugged.

"You didn't put a tracking device on it?"

"Don't be silly, my dear royal advisor. It would have exploded along the rest of the rocket!"

"What!? But- I- they- oh. Everything organic is protected, isn't it?"

"Yup,"

"But wait," said the Dark Vizier. "Wouldn't that mean that they'd be naked?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I had the Dark Lady Plagg modify their costumes a bit so that it'd count as organic."

"You mean you… eww." The Dark Vizier wrinkled her nose. "That's gross."

"It's a villain's life, my dear royal advisor. Get used to it."

Tattletale scowled at the title. The Dark Vizier stuck out her tongue. Tattletale's eyes narrowed.

"Soon…" She muttered.

"What was that, my dear royal advisor?" THE TECHNO QUEEN asked.

"Nothin-" She was interrupted by the Dark Vizier saying, "I didn't say anything."

The tension in the TECHNO MOBILE went up another notch.

8.4

"Why does she always have to split us up!?" Jailbird snapped as the five of them ran away from the heroes she'd commanded to sleep.

"I think she just thinks it's just more exciting that way. Or amusing." The Velvet Villain said.

"I never thought I'd say this, but god I miss Bitch." Regent panted. "More specifically, her giant dogs. Grue, either you give me a good reason for our continued running or you are giving me a piggyback ride."

"Make me!" Grue said, which was a mistake, as he found out three seconds later when with a wave of his arm he fell flat on his face. Thank god for his helmet.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" He roared.

Regent suddenly got his motivation to keep running quickly.

Clockblocker slapped Tecton's coffee mug out of his hand. It smashed onto the floor, coffee spreading in a little pool of caffeine.

"There's no time for that!" Clockblocker said. "We have to get a move on. Somewhere out there, THE TECHNO QUEEN is roaming free in an unprotected city!"

"Actually our transportation won't be ready for another ten minutes." Cuff said in her boss's place, as he was currently too indisposed looking mournfully down at his broken mug.

"Oh," Clockblocker said. "Oops?"

"I'll go make another for you, Tecton." Grace said soothingly.

"Yes, make one for all of us, Grace." Clockblocker nodded.

"I'm not a fucking secretary." She shot back.

"After all, we must be alert in the coming next hours." He said grimly, bravely ignoring everything she'd just said. "After all, who knows what devilry that crazed lunatic is up to out there?"

"Oh my god!" THE TECHNO QUEEN exclaimed. "We just have to get that snowglobe, it'll go right with our collection!"

"Um, your majesty, don't you think there might be something you're forgetting? Someone?" The Dark Vizier asked.

Imp narrowed her eyes at the Thinker suspiciously. Had she found out that she was here? Shemight have. She was a Thinker after all. Stupid Tattletale, ruining all of her pranks. She didn't know what her boss would do to her if she didn't have a bargaining chip. Perhaps she'd send her to the moon as punishment. Imp couldn't let her know!

"Oh, yes, of course, the others- Oh heavens, would you see this wrench!?" THE TECHNO QUEEN let her snowglobe fall out of her grasp to crash into the ground as she ran squealing happily towards the bolts and screwdrivers aisle and whatnot.

The Dark Vizier sighed. Imp closed in on her prey. And then Tattletale tackled the twelve year old out of nowhere, holding the girl up against one of the aisles.

"Listen up, kiddo. I'm the top Thinker dog here! And what are you, some former designated victim!? I'm the apple of her eye, I'm the best and the first Royal Advisor, so you should maybe stop acting sococky." The blonde hissed venomously.

Instead of acting afraid, the Dark Vizier smiled mockingly.

"Newer is better, Tattletale.Bring it on."

Imp began to slowly back away from that shit. Thinkers were weird.

First, it had been the drug ring. Then the canine Changer thing. Then the Master ghost thing. And now, two of the local Parahuman groups that called themselves Summer and Winter (and if that didn't tell you that they hated each other's guts then nothing would) who'd been at a stalemate for forever were finally working themselves up into a tizzy about one of Summer's high rank Parahumans 'mysteriously' falling down some stairs. Myrddin didn't see what the big deal was. They'd always had a huge turnout rate, in both of the gangs, and there'd never been trouble at this scale before.

Sighing, he put on his costume again. He looked in the locker mirror. He didn't have any at home, it was just begging to have enemies with mirror powers come and ambush you. He was not paranoid, that had actually happened twice to him.

The light in the ceiling glared at the reflective surface and he shut his eyes with a swear. He wondered if he should ask Branding to add a hat to his costume.

"There she is," Trickster sighed.

"Finally." Ballistic said. "Why couldn't she have picked a faster form?"

"I think she was just being safe in case she was attacked." Sundancer defended their teammate.

Their conversation ended as Genesis came within earshot, a Parahuman in each… hand. Claw? Tentacle? It was really unclear.

Trickster eyes the unconscious deserters.

"They put up a fight?" Trickster asked.

"No. This form is fireproof and doesn't need eyes to see, so there's nothing useful to peck out either. Thirteenth Hour's power is basically useless, although I suspect that it is her fault why I'm so outrageously late. They just fell asleep."

"Excuses, excuses." Ballistic muttered.

Luckily for him, the gigantic fucking monster in front of him didn't have very good hearing at the moment.

"Let's just go deliver them to Epoch, and then get our bounty." Sundancer said. "And then we'll go and see if we can buy Panacea's favor."

"I still say it's a bad idea to have an evil Panacea clone out there." Ballistic said.

"What harm could she do?" Trickster snorted. "Oh no, an evil clone with healing powers, whatever shall we do?"

"You know Noelle twists powers too." Ballistic said.

"Yeah, well, I'd like to see her twist healing into something bad." Trickster rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's go already."

Panacea shivered.

"It's probably just THE TECHNO QUEEN preparing herself to do something awful to someone." She said to herself, before going back to work.

Wanton and Annex woke up with a groan.

8.5

THE TECHNO QUEEN was sitting on Brutus, a burlap sack (god knows where she got it from) filled to the brim with tools between her knees held steady with her hands. Bitch was riding Angelica, Imp an unknown passenger behind her, and the Dark Vizier and Tattletale were sharing Judas, unfortunately.

Imp could swear that she'd seen them try to push each other off at least three times.

"HALT, evil doers!" A familiar voice rang out.

THE TECHNO QUEEN perked up before she even saw who it was.

"Oh, well look who's here, if it isn't my life long arch- WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING!?"

"Coffee!" Clockblocker, the local Wards team at his back, said.

"You know you don't have any tolerance for caffeine! You'll be up all night. Which, uh, is something I know because it is one of his weaknesses, and I must know his weaknesses for… villainous reasons."

"Just surrender, Techno Queen." Tecton said tiredly. "Immediately. Please. I beg you."

"Say my name right first." She said.

"And then you'll surrender?" He asked hopefully.

"No." She said bluntly. "But I might spare you."

"Not sparing me would be more of a mercy,"

"Enough talking," Bitch growled. "Let's fight."

"I couldn't fucking agree more." Grace said.

The brawl started when Imp kicked Raymancer in the shin, and Judas made for Cuff. Their numbers were roughly even, if you included the dogs and excluded the Thinkers that had apparently gotten confused in the fray and were now fighting each other.

There was hair pulling aplenty, and not just on the Dark Vizier's and Tattletale's side.

"Damn it, they're not answering!" Wanton said, giving up on shouting into his silent com.

"They must have been pulled into whatever Myrddin's dealing with while we were out." Annex said. "I heard that some villain was out after a duel with him, he's having relationship problems, and some ancient holy artifact has been stolen by a group of villains."

"That guy just never catches a break, does he?" Wanton said.

"I see them!" Annex exclaimed.

"Yes!"

"I see them!" The Velvet Villain said, looking behind her shoulder at the pursuing heroes.

"No!" Jailbird moaned.

"Freaking Mover ratings," Regent huffed.

"I'll still kill you, but first we're gonna' have to deal with this." Grue said. "They're quickly catching up to us. What should we do?"

"Evasive maneuvers!" Regent crowed before jumping over the edge of the bridge they were running over. While his teammates were distracted with gaping incredulously at him, he waved his arm and the three villains fell over screaming along with him.

"FUCK THE WARDS!" Grue shouted. "YOU JUST BECAME PRIORITY NUMBER ONE!"

"I'm so touched!" Regent shouted back.

It was then that they landed on top of a giant monster dog. And it was then that the ground beneath them shook, crumbled, and gave away. The DASTARDLY TECHIES and Chicago Wards, plus Clockblocker, fell underground with a scream.

Onlookers backed away slowly without turning their backs.

Epoch did not view himself as a cliché, which told you how much he knew. He liked caves. He liked open throne rooms, he liked dark forests, underwater lairs, and most of all, underground lairs. But if there was one thing he was not, it was an architect, and even worse, he was kind of an idiot, so he didn't really understand that you couldn't just dig a hole underground in some random part of town and not expect to have the roof cave in on you. Although even if he did he wouldn't expect three gigantic dogs, the Chicago Wards, some other Cape, that villainess his useless minions had been having such problems with, and her subordinates dropping into his lair along with his caving in roof either.

Which, again, told you how much he knew.

Epoch and the Travelers stared at the downed, groaning Capes.

Trickster rather cleverly snatched the briefcase full of their payment out of Epoch's hands, looked up at the caved in ceiling, narrowed his eyes at something up on the street, and then a lamppost stood in his place.

Genesis, taking Trickster's cue, dissolved, letting the deserters fall to the floor. Ballistic launched himself forward and upward out of the hole in the ceiling by using his power on his costume.

Leaving Sundancer behind.

"I hate it when they do that." She muttered.

Hands raised, she slowly backed out of the room. Epoch let her. Whatever. He didn't need their help. Sure, he was outnumbered, but he was still stronger than them. And also they were kind of unconscious.

When THE TECHNO QUEEN awoke she found herself tied to a chair with a bag over her head.

"Wait." She said. "What? I- I think someone got something mixed up here. I'm not the one who's supposed to be here."

"Your majesty!" Tattletale called out. "Some idiot villain- ow! Okay, he's in here with us."

"Indeed I am," He said calmly.

"Jailbird-" THE TECHNO QUEEN called out.

"Is gagged," The idiot villain interjected smoothly.

"Now then, what are you all doing here in my lair? And why did you destroy my roof?"

"Did you even go to school?" Tattletale asked. "You can't just hollow out a random place in the ground and expect everything to be okay."

"That's it, now you're being gagged as well."

"Your mother never loved- mmph!"

"Wait, did you just tie us all up in chair and put bags over our heads?Are we even suspended over a pit of bears?" THE TECHNO QUEEN asked.

"… Why would you even think that?" The idiot villain said.

"Ugh!" THE TECHNO QUEEN groaned. "We're clearly dealing with an imbecile here, guys."

"How dare you!?" The idiot villain demanded.

"How dare you?" Clockblocker cut in. "Do you know who you're dealing with here? Something as unimaginative as this is just insulting."

"We're going to die." Cuff whimpered.

"Don't worry, Cuff." Grace said. "I'm sure Myrddin will come and save us."

"Actually I heard that he's dealing with a serial killer who's targeting porn stars." Tecton said.

"Look, we're just here for the couple you kidnapped, okay?" The Velvet Villain said. "Hand them over and we'll be out of your hair."

"You try and negotiate with me? What could you possibly have to offer to me? You're defenseless at the moment, not in a position of power." The idiot villain said.

"83. 748 percent chance that that is going to change about-" The Dark Vizier began.

A rushing sound like a tornado and someone swearing from a direction that sounded like where the floor should be started suddenly up.

"-now." She finished.

So, after a long drawn out fight, in which Wanton managed to keep Epoch distracted, the caved in wall prevented him from escaping, and Annex freed his teammates, the Wards finally managed to subdue the man.

THE TECHNO QUEEN and her subordinates were, of course, still tied up to chairs with bags over their heads, a couple of them gagged as well.

"Well then." Grue said. "This doesn't look good."

"No shit." Regent said.

"Quiet, you. Don't think that I've forgotten my grudge just yet."

"Man, this is a really good day for us, all things considered." Tecton said. "Managing to capture so many villains… the PRT troops are on their way now to take them to jail."

"Yeah," Clockblocker said. "Let me just go and pat them down, see if they've got any weapons on them."

"I don't see why that's necessary, they're already cap-" Raymancer said, and was promptly ignored.

Clockblocker walked up behind THE TECHNO QUEEN, patted her respectfully down, before he paused over a hidden pocket in her cape with apparent surprise.

"Hey, I wonder what this is," He said, pulling it out. "Oh, no! I'm tripping!"

And then he crashed to the floor, dropping the knockout gas grenade he'd found so that it just so coincidentally clattered towards the Wards, pin mysteriously absent.

What happened next should be obvious.

"Angelica," Bitch called out, and the dog which had turned tiny during her master's bout with unconsciousness trotted loyally out from where she'd been hiding beneath a tiny cavern created by the fallen rubble and debris.

The dog made quick work of the knots and they disappeared, poofs of smoke left in their place. Clockblocker who had obviously been far away from the blast was snoring obnoxiously loudly on the ground.

"Remind me to get you a gift," THE TECHNO QUEEN said. "Maybe some exotic sort of canine…"

Trixie and Felix Civilian both cautiously looked at the scene before them, a group of unconscious heroes and one villain, along with disappearing wafts of smoke where THE TECHNO QUEEN and her DASTARDLY TECHIES had been. After a while, a bird flew close enough and Felix used it to burn the ropes off his wrists.

"Do we have money for public transport?" Trixie asked.

"No," Felix answered. "Guess we'll have to walk the distance."

"From Chicago to Brockton Bay? How will we survive!?"

"By eating birds, I assume. Like the hobos do, I believe."

"After this is over, I want a real honeymoon."

"Fine. But it's going to be somewhere boring and adulty."

"Fine."

8.6

"Do you think I've been getting sloppy lately?" THE TECHNO QUEEN asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Tattletale said, "Saying that you're a roman emperor who has grown lazy and fat on your throne of power and privilege which you acquired through relentless hard work and ruthless cunning is a bit much."

"I didn't say any of that." She said coldly.

"Oh?" Tattletale blinked innocently. "I guess I must have misheard you then. My hearing isn't what it was."

"Dark Vizier!" THE TECHNO QUEEN called out, and Tattletale hid a scowl.

"Yes?" The girl in question walked into the throne room.

"Do you think I'm lazy?" She asked.

"Well, saying that you're an ascended god tired of getting what she wants effortlessly all the time now half-assing it because you can't even conceive the idea of failing or hard work anymore is a bit of a stretch."

"That wasn't what I said!" She snapped. "And maybe I wouldn't be so lazy if things could actually be mildly challenging!"

"Well then, do something hard." Tattletale said.

"Like what?" THE TECHNO QUEEN said sulkily.

"Well…" The Dark Vizier began.

"Tell me why we can't just hitchhike again?" Trixie asked.

"Just because you're asking again doesn't mean that the answer's going to be different." Felix said.

"We've been walking for days, Felix! I don't care if we get picked up by a serial killer! We've got powers!"'

"Shitty powers," He said. "Yours is pretty much just a delaying tactic, and mine only works if there are birds around. You know, like there aren't in a serial killer's torture dungeon/inconspicuous truck."

"I'm so sick of birds." She said.

"Well then, maybe you should keep your wallet on you more often."

"I was washing the dishes!"

"That's no excuse."

"Well, why don't you have your wallet on you then, Mr. Holier-than-thou?"

"I think it actually fell out of my pocket when I was thrown into Mr. Hebert's kitchen."

"I still say making your own lawnmower was a bad idea."

"I don't need to buy it, Trixie! We save a lot of money this way!"

"Not if everything you keep building explodes!"

"And it's safe?" The Velvet Villain asked skeptically.

"Oh, of course it is!" THE TECHNO QUEEN lied. In truth, she hadn't checked at all. She was bored, damn it, in a freaking rut! And she wasn't going to cease her quest for self-improvement by stopping to do something as useless as checking for dangers. Honestly, her team was a group of accomplished villains, they could take care of themselves.

And after all, how dangerous could a bunch of homemade lawnmowers be? She'd pay Mr. Civilian back later.

"What are we even going to be using these for?" Jailbird asked.

"Umm… Oh! I know! First we… we… um..." THE TECHNO QUEEN trailed off.

"Can't come up with a whole lot of dastardly things to do with a bunch of lawnmowers, can you?" Grue asked.

"Silence! I am a very creative woman. I can do this."

"Sure."

"Okay, okay... First, we'll fill them with peanut butter. Then, we smuggle them into unwitting citizens' sheds, replacing them with their old lawnmowers. When they try and trim their lawns the next day, they will find their lawnmowers stalling, and their lawns will be left to rampantly grow free!"

"Wait, so why doesn't anyone notice that they have a completely new lawnmower?" Regent asked.

"And why are we conspiring to make it so that no one can cut their lawns?" Tattletale asked.

"A lot of this plan doesn't really make any sense." Imp chimed in, her power on just to be safe, although she was still heard.

"Oh, come on! I dare you to come up with something better. They're lawnmowers for god's sake. I may be amazing and spectacular but I'm no miracle woman either."

"It's okay, your majesty." The Dark Vizier said soothingly. "I have a plan. We get the Dark Lady Plagg, have her make all of the grass in Brockton Bay grow to truly monstrous heights, until being unable to use one's lawnmower really will be a serious problem."

"Except that she can't help us," Tattletale poked the hole in rival's plan gleefully. "Remember, the fangs?"

"Then we'll just get rid of the fangs." She said primly. "We're super villains, we can do anything."

"Excellent idea, my dear royal advisor!" THE TECHNO QUEEN praised her, and Tattletale fumed off to the side. Someday… "Now then, where is Bitch?"

"Off on a play date between that new wolf you got her and Mister Snugglekiller." Grue reminded her.

"Ah, that's right. Well then, I'll guess we'll just have to use the teleportation bracelets then. It's time to kidnap Panacea, an act of such unspeakable evil that even the devil himself shudders at the idea. Again."

Poof

Lately, the days had been tedious and depressing, like they'd always used to be before she'd also become the Dark Lady Plagg, except also with fangs. Therefore it was obvious that it was time that she was abruptly kidnapped from class to be dangled over a tank of electric eels.

But strangely enough, from her upside down vantage point of the room, Amy only saw a grinning Tattletale.

"Now then, Amy," the blonde said, eyes fixed intently on her, "It's time to talk about your issues. Your many, manyissues. In depth."

Shading his eyes from the sunlight, Luke felt a slight stab of envy towards Krouse, who was wearing a hat that could act as a shade for him; Mars, who could look directly at sunlight and not feel a thing; and Jess, who had made some odd eyeballs for her form that worked on completely different rules from regular human ones. Noelle was sleeping in the gigantic truck they'd stolen and Oliver had a pair of sunglasses that he wasn't sharing, leaving Luke to squint at the city where they would hopefully finally find a solution to at least one of their problems.

Brockton Bay.

And in it, Panacea.

8.7

"I guess I've never really felt like she's seen me as her daughter, you know?" Amy went on.

"Yes, I see your point. This is due to a combination of the facts that your mother's Trigger event gave her trust issues, trust issues she projected onto your biological parent, whom she knew before adopting you… most likely out of some kind of feeling of obligation. She's holding herself back from trusting you due to your parent, keeping you at an arm's length." Tattletale nodded.

"Huh," Amy said. "I don't know why she didn't just tell me that."

"In my experience, a large amount of problems can be traced back to communication issues, namely not doing said communication enough when it comes to important shit like this. Also, trust issues. Maybe you should confront her about this. Heck, it might even get rid of those cat ears for her."

"She has been hating those cat ears." Amy mused. "By the way, do you think you could let me down? The blood is rushing to my head, I'm getting really dizzy…"

"No. Now, onto your sister…"

"VICTORIA SMASH!" Glory Girl roared as she smashed into the ground where Ballistic would have been only a moment before if he hadn't used his power on his costume, thus launching himself on his way to relative safety.

"Man, that meme has been getting out of hand ever since that Hess video." Genesis commented.

"Is this really the time, Gen?" Sundancer asked. "And you said that this was where she lived, Trickster!"

"She does! I guess she's not at home!" Trickster said as he switched himself with a mailbox, dodging a cat eared woman's glowing light sword.

"I didn't know that most of New Wave consisted of Case 53's." Ballistic remarked.

"Am I seriously the only one here who pays attention to local pop culture and news?" Genesis asked.

"We're not going to get anything out of this. Retreat!" Trickster said.

He disappeared with a pop, a trash can falling in his place. Ballistic shot his way to freedom at great speeds, and yet again, Genesis dematerialized. Leaving Sundancer alone with the heroes. She sighed, before going back into her combat stance. Fun fact: Sundancer was the most experienced member of the Travelers.

"You know, some months ago we were robbing casinos." Regent said. "ABB casinos. Escaping Lung's wrath by a hairsbreadth. Stuff like that."

"Shut up and lift with your legs." Jailbird huffed.

"Wimps." Grue said as he easily walked past the two struggling Techies, a lawnmower in his arms.

"Totally." The Velvet Villain concurred as she walked past them, carrying two lawnmowers.

"It's cheating when you use your stuffed animals to carry them for you!" Jailbird called out.

"You're not even walking!" Regent whined. "Lucky bitch."

Imp looked smugly on as everyone continued to not remember her, and therefore also not asking her why she wasn't helping.

And then Bitch walked past them, pushing her lawnmower on its wheels. There was a stunned silence as everyone else realized that they'd missed such a painfully obvious solution, before there was a few embarrassed clangs as they set their lawnmowers down and began pushing them instead.

"There is no reason to keep our hands idle as Tattletale preps the Dark Lady Plagg for her reentry to sweet, diabolical villainy." THE TECHNO QUEEN said.

"But isn't this what the TECHNOBOTS are for?" The Dark Vizier asked.

"Why yes, which is why they're taking care of the rest of the houses in the city. But one should always contribute. Hurrying things along, as it were. I'm still amazed that Mr. Civilian had enough lawnmowers in his basement to spare for every lawn in the city."

"You think you know someone." Grue shrugged.

Silently, the DASTARDLY TECHIES continued replacing all of the town's lawnmowers.

The Travelers ran out of the local hospital.

"Okay," Trickster huffed. "She's not at the hospital."

"Where to next?" Genesis asked. "Let's get this over with. We shouldn't leave Noelle alone for so long."

"She's got Oliver." Ballistic said dismissively. "And there's isn't really any place that springs to mind."

"Then we'll go…" Trickster glanced over the horizon, before abruptly halting upon a certain building. "Why the hell didn't we see that?"

Upon Captain's Hill stood a tall, gloomy castle straight out of a Disney movie villain's wet dream, easily visible even from where the Travelers gaped. And with a big clashing, flashing, glaring neon sign set above its ancient wood and metal doors it proclaimed SECRET EVIL LAIR- IGNORE THIS!

"I think it was the sign." Ballistic said flatly.

"Couldn't hurt to check it out," Genesis said shakily.

"Okay then," Trickster said. "we'll just- hey, where's Sundancer?"

With a fluid pirouette, Sundancer neatly sidestepped Bearpower's wild lunge, summoned her small sun in the tiniest form she could manage, before making it melt the asphalt in front of her, temporarily stopping Brandish from charging at her with her light sword. That was, until Lady Photon swooped in and flew her over. Narrowing her eyes, Sundancer performed a graceful leap that would send her foot smashing into the flying heroine's face, but her quite impressive jump was interrupted by a glowing blue shield, changing her trajectory from horizontal to vertical.

Ah, so Shielder must have escaped her trap by then, to be able to use his power freely. No matter, one of the first lessons dancers were taught was how to take a fall, much like a fighter. Dancing was some complicated shit.

Springing readily back up to her feet (while dodging one of Laserdream's bolts), Sundancer ignored the lesser threats, instead focusing on the true enemy. According to her predictions, she should be unearthing herself from the rubble right about- ah, yes. The sweet vindication that came with being right.

Glory Girl, glaring furiously, aura on full blast, unearthed herself from the rubble, covered in dust and scratches and tiny cuts. One arm hung limply from her shoulder, dislocated.

Sundancer put on a smug grin that she knew to be infuriating and said, "Well, look at what the cat dragged in." Not much in the way of lines, but sometimes the tiniest of pushes could be enough. And true enough, with an enraged roar Glory Girl mindlessly flew towards her, bloodlust visible in every line of her face.

I don't think this is what my mother had in my mind when she made me take those ballet lessons.

"I'm sure she's fine." Genesis said soothingly.

"She always does this," Ballistic said with annoyance. "Leaving us behind while we're doing a job, not thinking about us at all. I bet she's just messing around or something."

"Enough," Trickster said. "We'll speak with Sundancer about her laziness and thoughtlessness later. For now, we have a castle to storm."

"You've been saving that one for a long time, haven't you?" Genesis said.

"For-fucking-ever. I have always wanted to say that."

"I'm just as into gaming as you guys are, yet I'm still a normal person surrounded by nerds." Ballistic said mournfully.

"Why does my lawnmower look completely different?" Alan Barnes wondered, scratching his head.

8.8

"-which is why your feelings for her are fucked up, but not for the reasons you thought."

"Holy shit." Panacea mumbled.

"Don't worry-"

Ballistic blew the door off its hinges.

"Why hello there, Madame." Trickster swaggered into the room and tipped his hat. "We see you have-"

"YOU'RE AFTER MY THERAPY METHODS!" Tattletale sprung up from her seat with a shriek.

Trickster was taken off guard by this greeting. "Pardon?"

"WELL, JOKE'S ON YOU, I'VE ALREADY PATENTED 'HANG THEM UPSIDE DOWN AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR DIZZINESS'."

"Hey!" Panacea weakly protested after a moment of disoriented processing.

"We're really not-" Trickster tried again.

Tattletale poofed right into his personal space, and then kneed him in the balls.

"That's my shtick…" he mumbled as he crumpled to the ground.

"OUT!" she roared.

And then an eldritch abomination out of hell also known as Genesis sprung for the blonde's face. Unfortunately, Genesis's charge was interrupted by none other than her teammate Ballistic himself, who punched Tattletale in the gut with a good old blast of Striker.

She went flying through the air, but then she teleported with a plume of smoke several meters in front of herself. But she was still going at the same velocity, so she continued flying. But then she teleported several meters ahead again. And again. And again. Soon, in a rapid loop of teleportation, she was beginning to slow down, while simultaneously filling the room with smoke.

She eventually allowed herself to fall to the ground with a soft grunt and a few bruises, but not much else. She stood up haltingly and analyzed the room. The battlefield was completely obscured, robbing everyone's sight without discrimination. Everyone was going into this fight blind. Except, of course, for Tattletale, who was a Thinker.

She smirked.

Alan Barnes's (completely different) lawnmower wasn't working properly. After over ten minutes of trying to coax it to finally goddamn start and failing, he'd finally busted out the tools to see what was wrong- peanut butter. Peanut butter everywhere. And also everything was wrong. The internal workings almost looked like a bomb rather than an actual lawnmower. But that was ridiculous-

With a boom, his neighbor's shed exploded into so many splinters. That was where he kept his lawnmower, Alan remembered.

He decided that discretion was the better part of valor and wheeled the death trap out onto the curb. The grass could wait another day.

"Uh," said Jailbird, monitoring the assorted live feed from the patrolling TECHNOBOTS hidden cameras. "Your majesty? I think there's a slight flaw with your latest scheme that you'd want to see- through no fault of your own, of course!"

Shielder was barring any escape attempts to the left, and it'd be hard to fight her way through it. Laserdream and Lady Photon were watching any escape attempts to the right, and as their shields weren't as good as Shielder's an escape attempt could be possible, but Sundancer thought that maybe she should try an easier target first. Bearpower and the centaur, Flashbang, were blocking her rear. She could conceivably fight her way past them. In front of her Brandish was holding the fort on any escape attempts straight ahead of Sundancer. The weakest link.

And it'd be great for her if she could actually find an opportunity to attempt to snap that weak link, if Glory Girl would just give her a chance. It was as if the girl was possessed. She'd abandoned her wild charges, exchanging them for a levelheaded, absolutely frigid calculating mind, strategically wearing Sundancer down. Perhaps she'd taunted the New Wave member a bit too much.

Matrix style, she dodged a flying tackle from Glory Girl, but unfortunately the girl reacted with surreal speed, a leg (through cooperation from the local Protectorate and the rest of New Wave they had been able to stop her from shopping for 24 hours, which the animal 'curse' had apparently deemed enough to take back her tail; the ensuing property damage from the prolonged fight had been absolutely monstrous) springing out for a departing kick as she sped near uncontrollably past the Traveler. The leg hit her like a lamppost, hard and unbending. With gritted teeth Sundancer made herself go limp and thanked the gods that she wasn't a man, because if she was that would have hurt so much worse. As she fell, Sundancer wrapped her legs around Glory Girl's kicking leg, and the heroine continued on flying, ignorant, for a while. It ended up with Glory Girl flying with Sundancer attached to her leg by the legs like a wafting flag on a post, facing the rushing ground. But she let go quickly before Glory Girl noticed, just as her momentum reversed, effectively letting her avoid being thrown to bounce off the concrete like a rag doll, doing a flip in midair. She landed on all fours in a cat like crouch, a new bruise forming but not an inch of skin having been broken. A small victory, of a sort.

Her sun, not at its largest nor smallest, hovered above her, keeping the other members at bay, forced to perform support roles with occasional ranged attacks from those who could make them. Glory Girl was free to attack, as temperature did not affect her forcefield.

Glory Girl sharply pivoted in the air, but Sundancer was already sprinting towards Brandish, her sun following her. Brandish was forced to back away or be scorched. Brandish's flying, galloping, or Brute teammates were easily able to keep pace with the new border the moving sun created, but Brandish was another story. She wasn't a Mover of any kind. When her hair actually began to shrivel and blacken a bit at the ends, she had to give up.

"Help!" she shouted.

Glory Girl, already zooming in the correct direction anyways, ignored Sundancer and swooped down to pick up her mother. Sundancer smugly continued running, turning down an alleyway where New Wave couldn't continue to surround her as before. The threat to her mother so recent, Glory Girl was back to her mindless barbaric self. Sundancer could hear her catching up rapidly due to her enraged screaming.

But Sundancer's sun was already melting the manhole in front of her, and she was jumping down, readying herself for the fall, and she landed with a smelly splash. Getting rid of her sun, and therefore all of the lighting down there with her, she crept down the sewers to sweet, sweet escape, Glory Girl thankfully charging in the completely wrong direction.

That was how you escaped without a cheat code.

8.9

"Why did we have to replace the lawnmowers?"

"Shut up."

"Like, couldn't we just have put peanut butter in everyone's lawnmower instead of replacing them with lawnmowers that had peanut butter in them? I mean, how could that possibly be any more efficient? In any way?"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up."

"Heck, why did we even replace them in the first place?"

"Regent, if you don't shut your fucking mouth right now I will end you… r dental plan."

"No, your majesty, please have mercy!"

"That'sright."

Danny looked out of the kitchen window into his backyard as he sipped his coffee. The view wasn't really all that spectacular but the paper was surprisingly boring, considering the town he lived in, and there wasn't much else to look at.

The TECHNOBOTS boosted each other over his fence, went into the gardening shed, and then came out wheeling his lawnmower, except it looked oddly different. The lawnmower then abruptly exploded, taking the two TECHNOBOTS down with it.

Huh.

Danny went and refilled his mug.

"Noooo, TECHNOBOTS #472 and #396, you will be missed!" THE TECHNO QUEEN cried out with agony as she collapsed over her laptop screen.

Jailbird edged over towards Grue.

"Maybe don't let her see the rest of the feeds," she whispered.

Grue nodded discreetly.

A bat hit Ballistic square in the jaw. It of course immediately went careening away at freakishly high speeds, but Tattletale let go of it easily, and Ballistic fell with a groan to the floor. Psht. Going straight towards where they'd last seen Panacea. How predictable. The healer in question was, of course, nowhere near that spot any longer. Her majesty's gift of a Trapdoor-inator came in more than handy yet again.

She tensed up as she heard the telltale clicking-slithering-clopping-flapping noise Genesis made when she moved. Spinning suddenly around, Tattletale's hand went straight towards her laser gun-

The door opened, letting a draft steal some of the precious, precious smoke. Snarling, Tattletale turned towards her latest opponent.

Smells like sewers. Physique of a ballet dancer. Exhausted posture. Distracted by thoughts. Not going to be a challenge. Her power said dismissively.

Her power wasn't right every time.

Amy finally managed to wriggle a hand out of the heavy chains that were draped around her form, and after that it was only a short few minutes until she was free at last! Inside a locked broom closet.

By the time she was done kicking the door off its hinges, she was panting and very, very frustrated.

"That's it." she snarled. "I am done with this! I don't deserve this! Nobody does! If I get taken hostage one more time then the kidnapper in question will regret it!"

And for now, snake fangs or no, she was going to vent. But for that, she'd need a certain skimpy costume first.

And then a slasher smile bloomed on her face, and despite being completely fangless it had a distinct sharp look to it.

"How much property damage, do you think?" Lady Photon asked, as she leaned down to peer into the dark depths of the melted manhole.

The distant directionless echo of enraged screaming emanated creepily from the hole.

"Even if she's plowing through each wall instead of taking corners, it likely won't come close to what we had to go through when we were getting rid of her tail," Bearpower growled dismissively.

"That doesn't really say a lot," Shielder barked. "Rebuilding New York probably cost less."

"Why were those people even attacking us?" Laserdream wondered.

"We may never know." Flashbang nodded sagely. It is a well-known fact that having just the right balance of horse genes will quadruple one's wisdom. If it's night and the stars are out it's even more.

"What should we do now then, besides waiting for Glory Girl to calm down?" Brandish asked.

"What about suggesting areas in which Shielder is lacking? Purely to help him with his animalification, of course. Or animalization. It's really unclear what sort of terminology we should be using," Laserdream suggested.

"Yeah, the Techno Queen should hand out pamphlets with the correct words or something in the mail." Lady Photon nodded.

"Sloppy of her to not, really," Bearpower agreed.

"Well, he's pretty vain," Brandish said.

"Pardon?" Laserdream raised an eyebrow.

"Shielder. He's far too ignorant when it comes to his faults, which is his biggest fault in itself."

"Hey!" Shielder protested.

"He does need to be taken down a few pegs," Lady Photon allowed.

"Taken down a few pegs!? You bastards've been throwing me sticks!"

"I didn't see you protesting the tummy rubs, young man," Bearpower chided.

"That… That's different!"

"Suuuure," Laserdream rolled her eyes.

"Well, what about the rest of us that're still afflicted!?" Shielder said, desperate to divert the attention from himself. "What about Bearpower, or Brandish, or Flashbang!?"

"I have resigned myself to the fact that my husband will forever be a centaur." Brandish said unhappily.

Flashbang pumped his fist in victory.

"Whatever. It wasn't as if we were still having sex anyways." Brandish shrugged.

"Ewww," Laserdream gagged. "Be glad that your kids weren't here to hear that, auntie."

"And I keep telling Bearpower that if he'd just try not being so rude-"

"Honest!"

"-then he'd probably be normal by now." Lady Photon shot her husband a glare.

"You asked me whether or not you looked fat in those pants. You asked me! If I lied, then what would the point be?" Bearpower complained.

"I'm still not talking to you."

"Geez, at the pace Glory Girl's going at the city's soon gonna' collapse in on itself." Laserdream remarked.

Sundancer let the blonde cape fall limply to the floor. Right. So that was done with. Now it was time to give the rest of the Travelers a piece of her mind-

"RETREAT!" Trickster called out.

"What!? No, damn it, stop!"

But it was already too late. The bastards.

Sundancer grit her teeth, and began to regret that she'd tried to end the fight so quickly with the Thinker. She really needed something to vent at right now.

"All right, where's the party at!? I need a living punching bag before I confront my mother, and I need it now!" A scantily clad villainess burst through the huge doors leading to the room.

Sundancer smirked.

8.10

First, there was of course the mandatory witty, pre-battle banter.

"The dance studio is that way, honey."

"The street corner's over there, bitch."

"Do you kiss your father's dick with that mouth?"

"God no. It'd taste like your mother's rancid taint, seeing as he bends her over daily. Not a hard thing to do, since she's working the 'night shift'. I'm guessing it's the family trade?"

"You should know, as I have it on good authority that your mother sucks off every guy in the neighborhood just so that you can take classes to twirl like a pretty, little ballerina."

"Well, yourmom's so slutty that-"

Plagg took the opportunity to throw a handful of rapidly sprouting seeds at the woman as she began to sprint towards her. But the woman reacted instantly, and her power revealed itself. A horribly hot orb sprung to existence, and Plagg looked away with a hiss of pain. Her plants instantly caught fire, becoming ashes surreally quickly. The heat was immense, startling. She turned tail and began to run in the opposite direction. She squinted behind her to see that the woman was distancing the orb away from herself so that she could move Tattletale, who was unconscious, as far away from it as possible. Not willing to kill. Handy.

"-she's been on more wieners than Heinz Ketchup!" the sun ballet dancer finished. Hmm, too wordy. Sundancer?

"Oh, yeah?" She called out, mind racing as the miniature sun kept her at bay. "Well, your mom's like a parking garage! Three dollars, and you're in!"

She didn't haveto use her usual Super Villain MO to take this bitch down. Everyone else in the room was unconscious, and if she did it right then Sundancer wouldn't know what hit her. She'd need a short lived virus, so it wouldn't spread and become a real thing out of her control. Something that wasn't permanent. A knock out bacteria or something.

No, a voice said in the back of her mind. That would be too easy. Like giving up and using the cheat code, instead of using her own skills.

On her wrist, the teleportation bracelet hung, a reminding weight. She looked at Sundancer, away from her sun, dragging Tattletale to a far corner.

With a flick of her wrist, she came centimeters away from her, the smoke enveloping them dramatically, and she heard a thump as Tattletale was released, and Plagg was already yanking the bitch's long, blonde hair, and Sundancer was elbowing her sharply in the stomach, leaving her gasping but still scratching.

Fun.

"Why'd we retreat, Trickster?" Genesis asked.

"There was no point to staying. Panacea wasn't there anymore, as you could see."

"Yeah, I guess s- hey, where's Sundancer?" Genesis asked.

"Ugh, did she ditch us again?" Ballistic rolled his eyes.

"Christ," Trickster shook his head. "First it was the train-"

Flashback

Ursa Aurora clutched one of her force field bear constructs to keep herself from falling, the wind whipping her hair. Her two other bears were flanking Sundancer, who was having a bit of a harder time than usual, considering the facts that a) the bears did not react to heat, and b) Sundancer had partially melted the train roof below her so that she could stick her feet in and let the metal cool around them so that she wouldn't fall down, and was now desperately regretting that spur of the moment decision as it severely limited her maneuverability. She'd use her sun to melt herself back out, but it was currently the only thing keeping Prism away from her, who had been trying to sneak up on her from behind.

And by now, ten miles away, the Travelers were sipping Mai Tais and bitching about their lazy teammate again.

Present time

"-and then there was the volcano-"

Flashback

Sundancer cackled as she erupted the volcano with her sun, Cache screaming like a little girl and running away.

Present time

"-and the helicopter-"

Flashback

You would not believe the dexterity it took for one to steer a crashing helicopter (untrained) while one is duct taping the unconscious pilots to one's body. Why would anyone do this, you ask? Narwhal. Fucking Narwhal and her fucking shields. Well, Sundancer would show her shields. Meat shields. AHAHAHA-

And then the helicopter ran out of fuel.

Present time

"-and the wizard-"

Flashback

"Nope!" Sundancer squeaked. "Nope, nope nope!"

"Fuego!" Myrddin boomed, gesturing with his staff.

Sundancer didn't reply, instead whipping around and running as fast as she could in the other directions. Hey, when a man rode into battle on a fuckingT-rex it was time to call it a day and scram. And what was up with the drum?

Present time

"-and really I could just go and on and on… she seriously needs an intervention or something," Trickster finished.

"So lazy," Genesis agreed with a nod.

"I guess we should stop her," Shielder said.

"You're right," Lady Photon sighed. "Alright gang, everyone get into the sewers."

"No, wait! Let's not be so hasty!" Shielder desperately backtracked.

"You're the one who brought it up," Bearpower pointed out.

"I'm a teenager! I say and do stupid shit! For god's sake, I think that dying my hair is a reasonable fashion move!"

"To be fair, you do have your celebrity status to fall back on," Laserdream said.

"Yes, but that same celebrity status also sure that I'm mocked a lot! Celebrities are under the scrutiny of the public, after all."

"You're regretting that haircut, huh?" Flashbang asked.

"You may say that." Shielder said flatly.

"Wait a second!" Brandish's eyes widened. "He's trying to change the subject!"

"Shielder!" Lady Photon scolded. "The fate of the city hangs in the balance! Get your act together."

"But mooom…"

"No buts!"

"I don't see why you're whining so much," Bearpower commented. "You can just fly over the mess and plug your nose."

"Oh yeah," Shielder snapped his fingers. "Okay, I'm fine with this. Let's go!"

The non-flying members of New Wave scowled heavily at Shielder and plotted their revenge as they moved out.

"An absolute failure," THE TECHNO QUEEN slurred. "This was the worst scheme. What was I thinking?"

"Is she drunk?" Regent asked.

"Worse," the Dark Vizier said. "Sugar crash."

"You should have been here for the rush," Grue snorted.

"My life is over!" the villainess cried out, casting an arm over her face.

Jailbird entered the throne room, saw her boss mourning on the ground, surrounded by candy wrappers (bought illegally from the Girl Scout Conspiracy, of course) and moaning and groaning about the general horror that was her career.

"I'll get Clockblocker." she said immediately, walking back out of the room.