-o-0-one week later-0-o-
Morgana gripped Ascalon's palm, squeezing her eyes shut.
"You need to relax. Release the tension in your shoulders. Don't squeeze my hands, just lay them there. Deep breaths." Ascalon whispered, his voice soft.
Morgana carefully lowered her shoulders, releasing her grip on his hands. She inhaled a slow breath and forced her fingers to stop trembling.
"Think back to a time you used magic. A simple time. Maybe just lighting a fire or making flowers from thin air. Nothing too hard." Ascalon's voice washed over Morgana. "Take your time. Once you think of something, tell me."
Morgana dropped her chin to her chest, startled when Ascalon instantly leaned over to tilt her chin back up. "Look up."
Morgana's eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as she thought back to her past life in Camelot. "I was with my sister, Morgouse. We were in the forest and it was dark out. We couldn't get a fire going so I had made this golden ball of light."
"How? Instinctively or with a spell?"
"Spell."
There was a silence and it took all of Morgana's willpower to not fidget or open her eyes. Ascalon suddenly spoke again. "Do you remember the spell?"
Morgana thought back. But all she could remember was the night sky and golden light and Morgouses' eyes. "No."
"Open your eyes."
Morgana cracked her eyes open, her vision clearing. Sitting before her was Ascalon. He looked like a sixteen-year-old but Morgana knew better. The Sidhe preferred to show himself as human rather than the fairy form that others usually appeared in.
Ascalon's starling green eyes were bright. He inched forward, knocking their knees together from where they were seated on the grass. Morgana felt a sudden swell of brotherly affection. He reminded her of Mordred but thinking of that only made her heart ache. When Ascalon had realized that Morgana had lost her magic, he had taken it upon himself to help Morgana get it back.
Ascalon pulled Morgana closer and whispered. "Gegylden leoht"
A ball of light flickered in the air between them. Morgana couldn't stop the small gasp that tore from her throat. Ascalon grinned at Morgana's reaction.
"Come on. Try it. Repeat after me. Gegylden leoht." The ball appeared again and faded after a couple of seconds.
Morgana took in a breath and repeated, trying to ignore the trembling of her voice. "Gegylden leoht"
Nothing happened. Morgana tried again. And again.
"Easy," Ascalon whispered. "Unclench your hands."
Morgana tore her hands away from him when she realized that she had been squeezing them rather painfully. "Sorry. I just—"
"Hey, it's alright." Ascalon offered a small smile. "You'll get it."
"I'll get it? It's been a week and I can't even make a stupid ball of light."
Ascalon leaned back on his hands. "I can feel the magic running through your veins. It's there, Morgana. You just have to tap into it."
Morgana raised an eyebrow. "No shit."
Ascalon laughed and looked over Morgana's shoulder. "Hey, Gwen."
Gwen jogged over and pulled Morgana to her feet. "Hey, Ascalon. I'm afraid I have to cut your magic lessons short. It's Merlin."
Morgana's head jerked up. "He's awake?"
Gwen winced. "Well...just come on. I'll show you."
Morgana bid Ascalon goodbye and followed Gwen. She was just a dozen feet away from the entrance of the cave when a wave of magic washed over her, shoving her back. "Oh my god. Did you feel that?"
Gwen frowned. "Feel what?"
"Merlin's magic. Jesus, what's happening?" Morgana broke into a run and made her way into the cave where Leon and Evaine knelt over Merlin. Merlin's entire body was vibrating and his eyes fluttered with dreams and gold.
Morgana rushed over and crouched down. "Oh my god, Merlin. Shit. Is he okay?"
Evaine carefully checked his pulse. "He's fine. Memories from thousands of lives all returning in a week is not an easy feat. These are some aftereffects. If everything goes well, he should wake up soon."
"If everything goes well?"
Evaine stood up. "I warned you all before. There's no guarantee he'll live through this. Most people would've been dead by now, sorcerer or not. He's tough, I'll tell you that but there is no guarantee. For now, though, it seems that everything is going to plan."
Morgana pursed her lips and leaned forward, brushing a hand through Merlin's hair to push it off of his face. "Ok. Ok. He'll be alright."
Evaine nodded and without another word, she transformed into a small blue fairy and fluttered away. Morgana let out a soft breath. She glanced up and started back when she found Leon looking at her with almost inquisitive eyes.
"What?"
Leon tilted his head. "It almost sounded like you were worried."
Morgana stared at Leon, her heart pounding in her chest. After three full heartbeats, she yanked her back. "I'm not worried."
Leon's lips curled up the slightest bit. He glanced down at Merlin before standing up. "Of course not. Whatever you say. Watch over him, will you? I need to talk to Arthur."
Before Morgana could reply, Leon was walking out, leaving Morgana alone with Merlin. Morgana turned back, tucking her hands beneath her thighs. "I wasn't worried." She muttered to herself.
Merlin shuddered, twisting over. Morgana caught flashes of gold beneath his eyelashes and she couldn't help but wonder what he was going through. Could he hear her? A part of Morgana wanted to find out.
She didn't know what she would say but looking at Merlin's face, who for someone getting an overload of memories looked fairly calm, she couldn't for the life of her figure out why she was so mad at him. She didn't know how it was this face that had fueled her anger more than anything,
"Morgana?"
Elyan crept inside. "Hey, sorry. I had to steal Gwen."
Morgana blinked. She'd forgotten about Gwen. How worried must she have been to forget about the person who walked in with her? "Uh, that's alright. Where is she?"
Elyan shrugged. "With Lance. He's going through some stuff."
Morgana snorted. "We all are. Did you want to look after Merlin?"
"If you're here—"
Morgana waved him off. "It's alright. Sit down.."
Elyan hesitated but carefully made his way over. He paused and then scooped up Merlin's shattered phone that was near the edge of the wall. He sat down beside Morgana and gently flipped the phone. "I didn't mean to break it. Who knew phones would be so fragile?"
Morgana snorted. "You hurled it against a crystal wall, what did you expect to happen?"
"Have you gotten a hand at your magic yet?" Elyan asked, tracing a finger over the large crack that ran down the length of the phone.
Morgana winced. "Yeah. I'm getting there."
"Could you fix this?" Elyan offered the phone to her. "I feel kind of bad and Merlin obviously loves his phone."
Morgana took the phone, studying it. "He was too obsessed with his phone, anyway. It feels like everyone in this day and age is. He's better off without it."
"Come on, Morgana." Elyan groaned. "I told him that I would fix it—"
Morgana smirked and tossed the phone back to Elyan, who caught it with fumbling fingers. "Ok, then. Fix it."
Elyan glared. "Please? Maybe it can be like a premature apology for when he wakes up."
The smile slipped from Morgana's face. "Apology? Why would I apologize to Merlin?"
Elyan looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Um, I don't know. Maybe because you were responsible for nearly half of all of his loved ones' lives and you completely ruined his life with your stupid schemes. Don't you think he deserves at the very least a sorry for all the crap you put him through?"
Morgana scoffed. "It's nothing compared to what he did to me."
"You know, in a mature conversation, both parties apologize. Obviously, Merlin made mistakes too and he'll apologize. Because, you know, he's a decent human being." Elyan muttered and dropped the phone to the ground with a thud.
Morgana clenched her teeth. "I have nothing to apologize for."
Elyan leaned back on his hands. "Ok, then. Congratulations."
Something about the tone in which Elyan spoke sparked a flame of anger. "You—"
"Listen, Morgana. I'm tired and I'm really not in the mood to fight, alright? Just let it go. Clearly, you need to sort things out with Merlin. Do that and then we'll talk."
Morgana snapped her mouth shut, huffing out a breath. She eyed the phone for a moment before reaching for it. Ascalon's words echoed in her mind.
Release the tension in your shoulders.
Morgana closed her eyes and gently wrapped her fingers around the phone.
Deep breaths.
She inhaled and focused all her energy on the object in her hand. All the power and magic that was running through her veins. She thought back to a spell she had used a while back when she had to fix a broken chain that one of her prisoners had snapped. The spell she used to put together a shattered piece of glass that she had once thrown in anger because of ironically, Merlin who had been particularly irritating that day.
"Behlēape gebroc."
She didn't open her eyes to see if it would work. She tightened her fingers for a moment and then relaxed, repeating the spell, which literally meant 'to fix what is broken'.
Morgana swallowed roughly and took in a gulp of air. "Behlēape gebroc."
She felt the phone tremble slightly and it took all of Morgana's willpower to not lose her focus. She opened her mouth to say it again, when a voice interrupted, throwing her completely off course.
"Morgana."
Morgana jumped, dropping the phone. The golden light that had flooded the cracks melted away as Morgana's focus shattered.
She turned to see Arthur carefully make his way inside. Morgana growled and tossed the phone to the ground. "What the hell, Arthur? You broke my focus."
Arthur opened his mouth and hesitated. Only then did she notice that his eyes were rimmed red. "Uhm, Leon dropped by. Did something happen with Merlin? Why didn't you guys call me?"
Elyan winced. "We were going to. We just thought that we'd make sure that he was okay, first."
Arthur stared, like he wanted to yell but was far too tired for that. "Right. Um, I was wondering if I could be with him? Alone?"
Elyan was up in an instant. He grabbed the phone with one hand and Morgana with his other. "Of course. Come on, Morgana."
Morgana paused and watched as Arthur's eyes flickered to Merlin. She took in a breath. "It'll be okay. He's strong."
Arthur scoffed. "And what the hell do you know, Morgana? You spent nearly half your life trying to break him."
Morgana shrugged. "Yeah. But I never succeeded."
"You don't think so?" Arthur asked, meeting her gaze. "You think through all the years he tried to fight you off, he didn't once break."
Morgana swallowed and looked away. "He might have cracked. He might have fallen down and slowly crumbled. But if I know anything, it's that he always, always, gets back up. I should know. I once left him chained in a clearing full of serkets. I once poisoned him and kicked him off a cliff to leave him to the dogs. And you can argue that he only survived because of his immortality but it was more than that. He always comes back, whether you like it or not. Trust me."
She patted Arthur's shoulder and left before he could reply.
Arthur settled onto the ground beside Merlin. He was almost tempted to go after Morgana and yell at her because he never did think about how many times she's tried to kill Merlin. But he was tired. He was so tired. He nearly lost it a week ago when Merlin was thrashing in his arms and crying for Arthur to hold on. It was absolute torture to watch his body go limp as his eyes fluttered gold. Arthur would be lying to himself if he didn't flinch at the tell-tale sign of magic.
Arthur leaned forward and brushed his fingers off Merlin's cheekbones. The sudden reality of everything weighed down on his shoulders and he was suddenly struck with the realization that Merlin might not even wake up. It could all have been for nothing. All the awkward smiles and oblivious looks and the begging that Arthur had to do so that the Sidhe could help. For nothing.
Swallowing roughly, Arthur pulled away and tucked his hands beneath his thighs. "I wonder how you did it." Arthur flinched at his own trembling voice.
"You know, you had to wait fifteen-thousand years for me to come back. And you didn't even know if I would. It's been nearly two months since I came back, and I'm already losing it. Granted, I think you lost it as well. But all the time before. When Camelot was still standing and when Gwen was still queen. You were stronger than I could've ever been."
Arthur reached his other hand out and hesitated. He flipped over and stretched out on the soft blankets beside Merlin. Throwing an arm over his eyes, Arthur forced himself to keep talking. "If I remember correctly, the last time we really had fun together was the day before I went to Camlann. We were at the tavern playing this stupid game for money. It was pure luck, but you seemed to win every round. It makes sense. You were always like a good luck charm wherever you went. Through the missions and the quests and everything really, we always won. And now I realize that it was never luck, was it? It was magic."
Arthur heaved a bitter sigh and squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the lone tear that rolled down the side of his face. "I died just a few days after you told me. And I wonder every single day if it was because you wanted to tell me, or if it was because I was dying, and you knew that I wouldn't have made it. But no matter the reason, you told me. And I never had the time to process it. I accepted you, of course, but I don't know anything. And now, we have a second chance and I can finally know what all you've done for me. What all you've sacrificed for me. We had so little time and I—"
Arthur broke off as his breath hitched. He clasped a hand over his mouth, muffling the ugly sob that was rising in his throat. "I never considered myself to be an emotional person. Growing up, I was never allowed to. Not as the prince and certainly not as a king. But you, Merlin, you tore down my walls like they were never there in the first place and you wormed your way into my heart and now, now after everything, you can't leave me."
Arthur twisted over and sat up, sliding his fingers through Merlin's and gripping with all his might. "Before I met you, I was so alone. Yeah, I had Leon and Morgana but I never really- I wasn't—" Arthur broke off, frustrated. "It was only after you came that I realized how alone I was. You were this ball of energy and the entire kingdom instantly fell in love for you. And there are times when I wonder if all my knights joined for me or for you. Because you were the reason that nearly all of them joined. Save Leon, I guess.
"But you crashed head-first into my life and insulted me in front of who I thought were my friends and you showed what real friendship is. And maybe I depend on you too much, maybe I never learned how to really live without you and part of me never wants to. But after all these years, I'm not done. I'll never be done."
Arthur silently pleaded with Merlin to wake. It was this moment that he knew was in all the fairytales and legends. Merlin would wake up now, and crack some stupid joke that would have Arthur crying and laughing and the same time. He would break out into a beautiful smile that had his eyes crinkling and his teeth shining. He would nudge Arthur and smirk because he never thought that Arthur would cry over him. Arthur would snort and lean down and Merlin would meet him halfway and this time both of them would remember when their lips met. And everything would be okay. But Merlin didn't move. His fingers didn't twitch and his eyes didn't flutter. His mouth was slack and his hand was too.
And Arthur hated it. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Merlin was never supposed to forget. He wasn't supposed to be dying. Not Merlin. Never Merlin. Arthur pressed his forehead to his and blew out a harsh breath, watching Merlin's hair ruffle the slightest bit. "Merlin."
But no matter how hard Arthur pleaded and cried and wished for Merlin to wake up and give him that knowing look that Arthur so desperately craved, it didn't work. Arthur didn't know why he was so surprised. Merlin never listened to him. He never did anything Arthur told him to do. Why would he now?
-0-o-0-
Gwen paused at the entrance of the cave. Arthur was sleeping, curled up against Merlin. Arthur's head was resting on Merlin's chest as if he could only fall asleep with the reassurance that his heart was steady and alive. Gwen sucked in a breath. She carefully moved forward and lowered herself beside them.
Gwen leaned over and brushed her fingers through Arthur's hair and wiped the dried tears on his cheeks. She moved to Merlin and froze when her eyes locked with dark blue ones. She stifled a scream and scrambled back, slamming her back into the wall.
Merlin winced slightly. "Shh. Don't wake him up."
Gwen gaped at him, trying to calm her pattering heart. "What?"
"Look at the bags under his eyes. He's clearly not slept in a while. I don't want to wake him." Merlin's voice was soft, barely a breath, and Gwen vaguely wondered if she was going crazy.
Merlin brushed back Arthur's hair and looked back up at Gwen, a small smile curling at his lips. "Hi, Gwen. I've missed you."
Gwen had to slap a hand over her mouth to not sob out loud. "Merlin. Merlin. Oh my god."
She fought to keep her voice low and she inched forward. Even after getting back thousands of memories and waking up in a strange new place, Merlin still had enough composure to not wake Arthur up, as if his world hadn't been flipped inside out. It was such a Merlin thing to do that Gwen nearly broke down.
Merlin reached out with his free hand and Gwen instantly took it. "I'm going to kill you," Gwen whispered, cursing herself when her voice cracked.
Merlin's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less, my lady."
Gwen furiously wiped her cheeks. "How- how are you feeling?"
"I could be better. I feel like I ran into a truck."
"Oh." Gwen carefully pulled away. "You should get some more rest, yeah? Take your time."
Merlin nodded as best he could with Arthur drooling on his shirt. "Yeah. Do me a favor, don't tell anyone. I'll come out soon. I just don't want to wake Arthur."
"Please. He actually hasn't slept in so long. And once he sees you, he's never letting you out of his sight." Gwen whispered.
"I sure hope so. Is everyone there?"
"Yeah. All the knights and—" Gwen hesitated. "Morgana too."
Merlin sighed. "Right. I probably have a lot of things to explain."
"Just a bit." Gwen teased softly as she leaned over to press a light kiss to his forehead. "Take your time here, because once you come out…" Gwen trailed off, figuring that Merlin could understand.
"Yeah. Thanks, Gwen." Merlin said, his eyes fond.
Gwen nodded and backed away. "We are having a very long talk once you're up, don't think you can escape."
Merlin only grinned in response, his eyes shining in a way she hasn't seen since Arthur died. And Gwen was barely outside before she collapsed, crying in relief.
"Gwen?" Elyan rushed over, crouching near her. "Are you alright? Is Merlin—"
"They're fine." Gwen choked out. "Arthur wanted to be with him alone."
"Hey. Merlin's strong. He'll be here before you know it." Elyan said, carefully gripping her forearm.
Gwen smiled through her tears, a sudden weight lifting from her chest. "I know."
-0-o-0-
