Miss Ranma

!SOUND EFFECTS! "THOUGHTS"

Chapter Eight

Ryoga walked through the pouring rain with his umbrella, searching for the one on whom he would wreak vengeance! "Here's where Ranma lives. I've been here before but all I saw was a girl. Now I know that girl is Ranma in disguise. I don't care what form he's in at the time. He's not getting out of anything because of his feminine wiles!"

The lost boy quietly crept into the house going from room to room to the point that he came to a room that had a picture of a duck on it. After quietly making his way inside the room, Ryoga happily regarded the young girl. "This is the girl called Akane. Gosh, she's beautiful," Ryoga contemplated, looking over the sleeping girl, getting so close to her as to hear her breathing.

The lost boy was so enchanted with the sleeping maiden he practically kissed the young girl. Fortunately, he stopped himself before he touched her. "Who am I kidding? A cute girl like this would never go for a guy like me."

After a couple of minutes of daydreaming, Ryoga left Akane's room and finally found Ranma sleeping on a tatami mat in the attic, upstairs.

"Why is Ranma sleeping as a girl? You'd think he'd have turned back into a guy by now. It's too bad I have to destroy her. I mean him! Gosh. Ranma looks so good as a girl. Those breasts are almost perfect. They still maintain their shape and form even though she's lying down. What am I thinking?! As huge as they are, they're probably fake. I bet Ranma stole them somehow. They can't be hers! I have to stop thinking about all this. Enough introspection! It's time for Ranma to die for everything he's done to me."

But as Ryoga tried to strike the head of the sleeping beauty, Ranma moved to the side, causing Ryoga to miss and hit the pillow the young girl had been using. "Stay still!"

"Mama? When will I see you again?" Ranma talked in her sleep.

"Shut up!" !WIFF!WIFF!WIFF! "How is Ranma countering my attacks in his sleep?"

At that point, Ryoga straddled Ranma, pinning her legs down with his own powerful legs. "You disgust me, Ranma! Now I'm going to finish you off for good." But the young girl's upper body still shifted a little.

"Stay still, I said!" Then Ryoga pinned the sleeping girl's shoulders to the ground but as the girl kept moving and lurched forward, causing Ryoga's hands to slip downward. "You're not getting away from this time!"

"Hmm. Giggle!"

"Gasp! They're so firm and soft at the same time! What am I thinking?! I..."

"What the..." Ranma exclaimed, waking up. "Ryoga! What do you think you're doing?!"

"Um. I..."

!KAPOW! Ryoga went smashing through the window with Ranma flying right after him.

"What's the big idea, you pervert?! For a guy who thinks I'm not a girl, you were really enjoying yourself back there. Did you like sneaking inside the house in the middle of the night, creeping up to my bedroom and squeezing me like that?"

"That's not what happened!" !ZAP! "Ow! Listen, you cross-dressing pervert! I didn't come here to feel up your fake female body. I came here to kill you!"

"Then put the umbrella down and fight me!" Ranma countered, her wet T-shirt clinging to her in the rain, giving Ryoga a good view of the shape and contours of Ranma's upper body.

"Gasp!" "How dare you flaunt your fake chest at me that way, Ranma?! You're sick, disgusting and degrading!"

"Really? You're the one who put the squeeze on my tits, and now you're calling me degrading? How often do you sneak into homes and..."

"Shut up!" !ZAP! "Aargh!" Ryoga went flying back from Ranma's recent ki energy attack but used his umbrella to maintain himself in the air and dry from the rain.

"I've had it with you, Ryoga. You make all sorts of rude comments about my body, question my womanhood, and then you sneak inside my room and cop a feel!" Ranma screamed in a rage, flying towards the floating boy. "And you didn't even say please first!"

"Why would I have to say please to a perverted guy like you who gets off on showing off his fake chest?!"

"Fake?!" Ranma exclaimed, engaging Ryoga in what was mostly a kicking fight as the bandanna wearing boy skillfully used his feet to keep Ranma at bay. "They're real and you know it! You oughtta know, seeing as how you groped and felt me up. But did you have to squeeze so hard? You got a lot to learn when it comes to touching a woman, Ryoga."

"Shut up! You're not a real woman anyway!"

"What's all that racket outside?" Akane said to no one in particular as she woke up from the noise.

"Akane, did you hear all that?" Kasumi said, opening the door.

"You heard it, too?" Akane grabbed a bamboo kendo stick and left the room with her sister.

"Yes. Do you think we should wake Kenji and tell him what's going on?" Kasumi asked as the two sisters made their way downstairs with Kasumi walking behind her sister.

"No. I can handle things."

"Do you think it's a burglar?"

"It better not be," Akane threatened.

"Take that!" !KRAK!POW!

"It is a burglar! And he has an empty pack for stolen goods," Kasumi said in regarding Ryoga.

"I'll beat his brains out!" Akane answered her sister.

"Wait!"

"What? I..."

"It's too dangerous! Here use this," Kasumi said, handing her a 30-pound dumbbell to Akane's shock and amazement.

While Ryoga and Ranma were engaged in their battle... !KLONG! As the dumbbell struck the back of his head, Ryoga dropped the umbrella and immediately leaped away with such speed Ranma couldn't find him in the pouring rain.

"Ryoga! Where are you going?! Come back here!" Ranma demanded.

"Oh, it was only Ryoga, Ranma's friend," Kasumi said with relief.

"Ryoga?! What was he doing here?"

While Kasumi and Akane contemplated the events, Ranma went chasing after where she thought Ryoga might have gone. "I really should have paid more attention to Pan and Bra when they were telling me about reading ki signatures. But I was so determined to learn the more physical stuff and planned to learn the more mental stuff later when we left the room of time. I had no idea I'd find myself back in my own world."

"All that racket at 2:00 in the morning of all times," Akane moaned as she made her way back to her bed.

"Somebody else is here!" Akane sensed, looking around. "Come on out! I know you're there!"

!RATTLE!RATTLE! !VWROOM! All of a sudden a black blur came flying at Akane prompting her to smack the blur, causing it to bounce against the wall and land right in front of her.

"What is this?"

Akane looked down and noticed a small pot-bellied black pig.

"How cute he is!" "Come here little piggy. Come on. I won't hurt you." The piglet recoiled back for a moment. But when Akane smiled sweetly and put her hand out under the pig's nose the creature softened.

"Bweee!"

"Oh, you're drenched! You were out in the rain, weren't you?" Akane commented as she lovingly picked the animal up, snuggling it to her bosom.

"You have a bump on your head too. How did you get that?"

"Bweeee."

Akane carried the piglet, walking towards the bathroom where she noticed Ranma was about to enter the furo. "Ranma what are you doing?"

"Going to the furo. What are you doing with that pig, Akane?"

"Squeeee!" the pig snarled at the redheaded girl angrily.

"Why are you so mad, little guy," Akane said soothingly.

"There's something familiar about that pig."

"You're crazy, Ranma."

"Bweeee!"

"Shhhh," Akane soothed. "Let's get something for that bump, hmm?"

As Akane held the little piglet to her breast, it calmed down little. "If I didn't know better I'd swear the pig was blushing," Ranma said, getting up and examining the animal a little closer.

"Don't be silly, Ranma."

"Let me see. Uh, huh. Dirty-minded little pig. It's male."

"Squeeee!" the pig protested as Ranma held it up for scrutiny.

"Yes. So it is," Akane confirmed.

!WHAP!WHAP!WHAP! "Ouch!"

"Quit picking on him, Ranma!" Akane demanded, taking the pig back.

"I didn't do anything to it but it attacked me anyway! Sheesh!" At that point, Ranma walked off.

"Where are you going, Ranma?"

"I told you already. I'm going to take a bath. I need to warm up after being out in the rain all that time."

"Achoo!"

"That's a good idea. Warm the piglet up too," Akane said, shoving the sneezing animal in Ranma's direction. "It's catching a cold."

"Take a bath with a pig?"

"Yes."

"All right."

Ranma took the little animal and walked into the furo with it. Then the young girl set the piglet down and began to take her clothes off.

"I wonder where Ryoga took off to. Anyway, time for our bath little fella."

"Bweee!"

"There's no point in squirming. Get in there!"

"Squeee!" !SPLASH!

"Ranmaaa!" Akane screamed, storming inside the room.

"What?!"

"Quit picking on him."

"All right, already!"

"Now don't make me come back in here again!"

As soon as Akane had left, Ranma turned towards the tub. "Now where did that pig go off to?" After putting her hands in the tub, searching and finding nothing, Ranma sensed another presence, quickly turning around and saw "Ryoga?"

Standing there with no clothes on was the lost boy glaring at her. "Ranmaaa!"

"Eeek!" Ranma exclaimed, blushing beet-red and trying to cover the front of herself up with her hands. "

What are you doing here, Ryoga?! Did you enjoy my chest so much that you've come back for more?"

"Get over yourself, Ranma. Nobody wants to see your fake tits anyway."

Then Ryoga whipped out a long bandanna and turned it into a straight rod, quickly poking Ranma with it. "I knew these were fake. How much did you pay for these? Come to think of it; I bet you stole them."

"What?! How dare you touch me like that?! And for your information they're mine! Now get out of here, you pervert! Before I hurt you!"

"You'll do nothing!" As Ranma lunged for the lost boy, Ryoga shoved her back with his lengthened bandanna sending the pigtailed girl into the hot water.

"Face me like a man for a change, Ranma. I've had it with looking at your fake female body.

!SPLASH! Ranma came out of the water in a rage, glaring at the lost boy! "Why you..."

"Why didn't you change back?"

"Change back? I don't change back. This is what I really am. I told you that earlier. What's wrong with you?!"

"Yes, there's something wrong and you don't know what it is."

Then Ranma's countenance softened a little. "What did I do to get you so angry, Ryoga? Tell me about. I'd like to know."

Ryoga thought for a moment as he regarded Ranma who had relaxed her modesty somewhat.

"I'm not going to let Ranma find out about me turning into a pig. Since he thinks he's really a girl for some strange reason he'd probably tell Akane that I'm her new pet pig. But I wonder why he doesn't change back? Was Ranma a girly man who wanted to be a girl thus found a way to be a girl permanently? He was rather feminine when we were at school together. Come to think of it, a couple of guys thought he was gay."

"Well, Ryoga?"

"You weren't there for our man to man fight. And when I followed you to China, you traipsed around without any pants on in your girl form and kicked me off a cliff."

"I don't even remember that happening, but it's obvious you survived the fall fully intact. But why do you feel like you have the right to grab at me and make crude remarks about my body like you constantly seem to be doing as of late? Do you love me or hate me?"

"Shut up!"

"And why did you feel the need to follow me to China, Ryoga, when I waited three days for you?"

"Shut up about that! A lot of other bad things happened to me while I was in China too, and it was all your fault! You should have waited for me! Now I'm going to..."

"Ranmaaa! What's taking you so long?!" Akane called out from outside the door. "Oh, never mind I'm coming in there!"

"All right, Akane!" Ranma answered back, turning towards the door.

"I have to disappear! Akane can't find me naked like this! I'll just sneak out of here!"

Then Ranma turned back to where Ryoga was just a moment ago."Where's the cute little pig?" Akane demanded as she barged her way in.

"Well, Ryoga. What are you going to do now? Ryoga?"

Ranma turned around and didn't see her tormentor anywhere around her. "Who are you talking to, Ranma?"

"Ryoga was just here a moment ago," the redhead answered, perplexed.

"What were you trying to do, seduce him with your naked body?"

"No! He sneaked in here to beat me up because he's still mad at me for missing that first fight. He practically blames me for every bad thing that has happened to him in his entire life. And I still don't understand why."

"Really? Well, Ryoga's nowhere around here. But where's the little pig?"

"I don't know. He was here just a moment ago."

!SPLASH! "P-Chan!" Akane exclaimed as the piglet came flying out of the bucket that was still filled with cold water, leaping straight into Akane's wide-open arms, allowing her to pick him up and cuddle him.

"P-Chan?!"

"Yes! That's what I'm calling him. P is for pig and Chan is for cute," Akane said with a smile.

"You're pretty lonely, aren't you, Akane?"

"What's that crack supposed to have meant?"

"You're affectionately snuggling that little piglet to yourself like there's no tomorrow. I think you need a boyfriend really badly. It's like that pig is taking a boyfriend's place," Ranma replied with a wry smile.

"Honestly, Ranma! What kind of perverted mind do you have?" Akane answered as her little pet snarled at Ranma. "And put some clothes on! Do you plan on staying naked all night? What if someone else sees you?"

"All right, Akane. I'm done with my bath, so here I come." But as Ranma wrapped herself up in a towel and walked out of the furo, the pig leaped towards her and attacked!

!CHOMP! "Yeow! My shoulder!"

"Ranmaaa! Stop it!" Akane demanded as her pig ran away from the fiery redhead's pursuit.

"Stinking pig! Now you're gonna get it!"

!ZAP! "Bweee!" On the onset of being hit with Ranma's ki energy barrage, the little pig went flying in the air like a struck baseball, going end over end until he flew right into the waiting arms of Akane.

"Ranma, stop! What do you think you're doing?!"

"That pig took a bite out of me! I don't know what that's pig's problem is, but I'm going to make bacon out of that thing."

"Snort! Grrrr!"

"Hiding behind Akane's skirt? You cowardly little pig!" Ranma snapped.

"Bweee!" the pig screamed, flying straight into Ranma again.

"That's it!"

"Ranmaaa!" Akane then reached over, attempting to attack Ranma's bosom with a grasping nerve attack but her intended target avoided her assault.

"Exactly what were you trying to do, Akane? Is there something about you I don't know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how you attempted to grab at my chest! What's up with that?!"

"Quit picking on P-Chan!"

"I think you really need a boyfriend or a girlfriend if necessary."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Ranma! I'm not perverted like you. I was simply trying to stop you from harming P-Chan!"

Then Ranma regarded Akane seriously for a moment. "If you don't want me making bacon bits out of that thing, keep it away from me. Got it?"

"Just leave him alone! There. There, baby. Did mean old Ranma hurt you," Akane said affectionately to her little pet, holding him close to her bosom as tears came out of its eyes. "You can stop crying now. That's a good boy. Don't cry." With that Akane walked off with her new pet.

"Where are you going with that pig now, Akane?"

"I'm taking it to bed with me. Got a problem with that?"

Then Ranma gave Akane a sly look. "You are lonely, aren't you? If you kiss that pig do you think it will turn into Prince Charming?"

"Goodnight, Ranma!" With that Akane walked off towards her room with P-Chan in tow.

"There's something suspiciously familiar about that pig. I'm sure I've seen it before in some form or another. And how is it that Ryoga can come in and out without being seen? Does he have some kind of teleportation abilities? I remember Pan and Bra talking about being able to do things like that. It's too bad I never got to learn that. I wish I had paid more attention to the more esoteric techniques they were trying to teach me. Then I'd know what the deal is with that pig and Ryoga as well. I'll just have to make do with what I already know. Oh, well. I might as well go back to bed, but I'll probably spend the night trying to remember the things I didn't learn to well while I was in that room of time."

XXX

"We're here!" Aloe of the amazons announced as they got off of the boat. "Now all we need to do is set up our restaurant."

"It won't take long, Elder," one of the more portly amazons stated happily. "All of the paperwork has been done. All we have to do is go to the property, clean it up and get started cooking. In a couple of days, everyone will know our Chinese food is the best in the world!"

"That's right, Spice. But let's not forget why we're here. Ranma Saotome must marry Mousse so that our clan can become stronger than Cologne and Shampoo's," Rinse the second in command replied.

"I know that. But we might as well show our culinary mastery while we're here. I hate how there are so many 'Chinese' restaurants here run by Japanese. There's even a Japanese guy who has a restaurant here in Tokyo who calls himself the Emperor of Chinese food. What do these people know about Chinese food?"

"Be that as it may," Aloe stated. "We mustn't forget why we're here. But we will in all probability have plenty of time to show everyone in Japan what real Chinese food is. Now let us be off. There is much work to do!"

XXX

At 6:00 am, Akane woke up with P-Chan in her arms, snuggled in her bosom. "Yawn! Did you sleep well, P-Chan?"

"Bwee."

"Don't worry about Ranma. I won't let that tramp bother you. I just wish she'd quit being such an exhibitionist, constantly showing off her 'assets.' The fact that she thought she was a boy up until recently has affected her mind."

"I don't believe this. Ranma has even sweet Akane fooled!" P-Chan thought to himself.

"And to top it off, Kenji likes seeing Ranma half-naked. I sometimes wish Kenji would have gone after one of my friends who'd kill to be his girlfriend. It's a pity Kenji had to go off on so many training trips. He just didn't have time to get himself a nice girlfriend. Now he's stuck with Ranma."

The little piglet looked up at Akane and nodded. "It's just too bad Kenji doesn't realize that Ranma's actually a guy."

"I hope my brother would get his mind off of Ranma's oversized breasts and concentrate. He really shouldn't be so distracted like that. I would have thought the better of him."

"You're right, Akane. Besides, you're a whole lot better looking than Ranma. Your body is just right."

"If I didn't know better I'd think you actually understood me, P-Chan. What a wonderful little pet you are. Oh, well. Time to get up and jog. You'll be safe here, little guy." With that Akane got up out of bed, took off her pajamas and put on her jogging outfit.

"Gasp!"

"What's the matter P-Chan?" Akane said with concern as she turned towards him and picked him up. "Why is your nose bleeding?"

XXX

A couple of days later Ranma was out cruising the market place out of curiosity.

"It was great getting free takoyaki and pork buns because of my charm and good looks. Guys are so willing to give a cute girl almost anything she wants! I hate what my old man tried to do to me. Why the heck would anyone want to be a guy? Girls get away with so much more! What's that smell?" After finishing her freely given snacks, Ranma looked up to see a newly made Cinnabon store. This establishment was located on the main street of Nerima along with all the other new stores that had cropped up. It was about four blocks away from the Tendo household but this was the first time Ranma had noticed it.

"Oh, hi!" Ranma called out to the new Cinnabon salesman. The short nerdy looking guy with coke bottle glasses primped as soon as he noticed the busty girl, straightening his sugar bowl haircut and making sure he looked his best.

"Wow! You're hot!" The young man couldn't take his eyes off Ranma who wore one of the few red shirts that were still a little too tight on her bosom as she leaned over towards the cashier. She had given him a cute, sexy smile as she had made her way towards him with a switch of her hips. The shop which was pristine clean and well stocked up with fresh pastries of all kinds, but the most prominent of these were the Cinnabons.

"Gosh, those cinnamon rolls look good! Mmm."

"What can I do to you?" the man behind the counter slipped out as he admired the pretty young girl before him.

"Hmm?"

"Um. I mean. What can I get you to do to service me?" the man said, blushing as soon as he realized what he had said.

"Hmm?" Ranma asked, raising her eyebrows and clasping her hands behind her head and stretching her elbows out away from herself. !POP!POP!POP!

"I mean what can I get for your breasts. I mean buns? I mean..."

"What am I saying?" the man thought, staring at Ranma's now open midriff. Then he unconsciously reached out for Ranma, his jaw open and dropping to the floor.

"Are you trying to flirt with me, you naughty boy? Watch those hands. I'm ticklish." Ranma said with a giggle. Then she undid her pigtail, letting her long, luscious her cascade down her shoulders. Upon rocking her head back, she breathed deeply which caused her tunic to open a little more.

"Would you like some Cinnabons?" the man stammered out. "They're filled with our famous Makara cinnamon which comes from Indonesia."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's the best cinnamon in the world. Please have some."

"Ooooh! Sounds terrific!" Ranma breathed out, using all the charm she could muster. "I heard that you have to throw some of the pastries away after a certain amount of time has passed. Is that true?"

"Yes, that's right. The cinnamon rolls have to be fresh when we sell them."

"How about giving the older ones to me? I'd be happy to take them off of your hands. No need to let them go to waste. Giggle!"

The man behind the counter looked around for a moment. "Hey, baby! I'll give you some fresh ones. I just made a new batch just a couple of minutes ago. I probably won't sell all of them before they expire. I won't tell anyone if you don't."

"Oh, thank you! That's so kind of you," Ranma said as the Cinnabon worker put the food in the bag. He so enjoyed looking at the busty, redheaded girl that he lost count of how many pastries he was putting into the overstuffed bag. While this was going on Ranma winked at him, causing him to lose even more focus on what he was doing. Eventually, he ended up giving Ranma a very large bag of Cinnabon pastries along with some other treats.

"Here you go, sweetheart," the guy behind the counter said, smiling and blushing.

"You're such a sweetie and handsome too. Bye-bye!" After blowing the man a kiss, Ranma took the bag and walked out of the place with a wiggle and a toss of her head that the blushing man didn't fail to notice.

"It was worth giving her all those cinnamon rolls for the view I got to see. Wait! How many did I give her?! I better start making more for the upcoming rush!"

Ranma practically flew into the air with her bag of treats. "Mmm. These rolls are to die for. Where have they been all my life?! I can just keep eating and eating them. I'll be working out hard later on. Fortunately, most of the calories will go to my chest. Giggle!"

But as Ranma landed on the ground she barely avoided an attack from behind! !SWIPE! "Hey!"

"Ranma no have time to stuff face. Ranma die!" !WACK! "Oof!" Shampoo winced after having been elbowed in the stomach by Ranma.

"Can you at least let me finish my snack?"

"No! Today, Ranma must die!" !SWIPE!

"Blast it, Shampoo! Did you have to knock away my bag of treats?! I loved those cinnamon rolls!"

"Shut up and pay attention to fight! Hyah!" But Shampoo paused as she noticed Ranma's battle aura rise.

"I'm getting sick and tired of your surprise attacks, Shampoo. I don't know or understand your amazonian law but it seems to me you could at least let me finish eating before you attack me," Ranma said with smoldering rage.

"Is amazon law that stranger woman who defeat amazon must die by hand of amazon! No matter what stranger be doing at time."

"So it's like that?"

"Yes!"

"So be it!" In the blink of an eye, Ranma sped over to Shampoo and... !POW!SMASH!CRUNCH! !KAPOW!

"Aiyaaaaahhh!" the purple-headed girl screamed as she flew into the atmosphere at the end of Ranma's martial arts barrage.

"Bon voyage and don't come back!"

XXX

Shampoo woke up an hour later to the familiar smells of Chinese food. "That's amazon cooking. What is that doing here in Japan?" The amazon warrior struggled to get up and walked over to where the pleasant aroma led her, walking until she saw several amazons going back and forth from a large building.

"You got all the ingredients Spice wanted, Soap," an amazon girl spoke in Chinese.

"Yes, I got it, Suds. Even though the plan is to get that redheaded girl to marry Mousse, Spice is making such a big deal out of showing the world how great our Chinese food is."

"You mean how great her Chinese food is," the other amazon replied with a laugh. "Spice has always been competitive when it came to her cooking. Fortunately for her, Elder Aloe is going along with her wishes to show how our Chinese food is the best in the world.

"That's so true," Soap said. "The only person in the village who can cook Chinese food better than Spice is Elder Aloe herself and that's due to her extensive experience that came with years of cooking. That's why Spice will be the second in command in the kitchen while Rinse will be the hostess."

"What are you two talking about?!" the purple-headed amazon called out to them, her clothes being cut up and disheveled after her fight with Ranma.

"Where have you been?!" Suds demanded of the newly arrived amazon. "We still have a lot more work to do if this restaurant is going to open by tomorrow. And what exactly have you been doing up to now? You know how important this project is to our clan."

Faster than either of the two amazons could react, Shampoo grabbed Suds by the throat, choking her. "I'm not of your clan. I'm Shampoo, the greatest warrior of my generation. Now, what are you amazons doing here?"

"Let her go, Shampoo." Shampoo turned to see Aloe standing there, motioning to her. "Come inside and I'll explain everything to you."

Shampoo entered the extremely large restaurant which impressed her by the combination of Western fine dining splendor and Chinese culture. The two cultures didn't clash but merged in a fusion that complemented each other well. The outside of the restaurant looked like a Chinese emperor's palace but less intimidating while the inside had over two hundred tables and booths which were designed for comfort as well as the economy of space. Several pictures of Chinese art occupied the wall as well as a few Japanese and Western pictures of celebrities, past and present. The various tables had plates, glasses, silverware, and napkins that wouldn't have been out of place in either a Chinese restaurant or a European fine dining establishment.

"Why are you here, Elder?" Shampoo said with grating respect.

"I guess you've already met the one called Ranma, haven't you?"

"Yes. I have to kill her since she defeated me according to our law as you well know. But that doesn't explain why you are here," the purple-headed girl almost demanded to know, practically glaring at the amazon elder.

"You should show more respect to an elder, Shampoo!" Rinse interjected sharply, appearing at the elder's right.

Before Shampoo could react angrily Aloe calmed things down. "That's all right, Rinse. Shampoo is rather upset due to her defeat at the hands of Ranma. Isn't that right, Shampoo?"

"What makes you think Ranma beat me up just now?" the girl asked, angry and still smarting over her recent beating.

"Who else could have defeated you? But let me get to the point. As the fights you've had with said outsider show, Ranma is nigh invincible. You're no match for her, Shampoo. No matter what happens she will always beat you."

Shampoo's eyes reddened with rage! "I'll defeat her and kill her no matter what it takes!"

"No need to get angry, Shampoo. What I'm planning will help you as well as us. What do you think would happen if Ranma were to marry my grandson, Mousse, and join the tribe as an amazon herself, hmm?" the elder asked the angry amazon.

"Um. If she were an amazon then I wouldn't have to kill her."

"Exactly. While Mousse is taking the time to woo her to himself, we need to make a living. You know I'm the greatest Chinese food chef of all the amazons? Well, we might as well make some good money and show the supremacy of amazon culinary skills while we're here. Isn't that right, Spice?!"

"Yes, Chef!" the portly amazon answered from inside the kitchen.

"Spice is rather excited about the opportunity to show her culinary skills as a cook but you get the picture," the older amazon explained as Spice went back to work, barking orders to the other amazons. Shampoo gasped as she saw the modern equipment of the kitchen along with the kinds of ovens the amazons used in their Joketsuzoku village.

Then the gravity of the situation hit her. "If a powerhouse like Ranma becomes an amazon she might eventually become an elder. The position of chief elder is for me when the time comes. There's no way I'm going to let some outsider come into the tribe and take what's mine!"

"Shampoo? Are you all right?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"Good. As you can see you won't have to worry about killing someone a whole lot stronger than yourself; so feel free to go back home and..."

"There's no way Mousse will get to marry that woman! I'll see her dead first. You've wasted time coming here to Japan!"

"Suit yourself, Shampoo. But since we're here, would you like something to eat or a place to stay?"

"Never mind! I don't need your help!" With that, the angry young woman stormed out.

"Was it wise to reveal our plans to her, Elder?" Rinse asked as the other amazons bustled about the restaurant, working hard and fast to get the place ready in time.

"I'm sure she would have found out about what we're doing sooner or later. Besides, she's no match for Ranma. She will simply get more and more defeats at the hands of our future amazon sister. And if she pushes things so far that Ranma has to kill her... Well, Elder Cologne will surely come running. Then Ranma will have no choice but to try and defeat someone with the magnitude of Elder Cologne's abilities or marry Mousse quickly and become an amazon herself. One way or another we're going to have success."

"Yes. I see," Rinse answered, smiling.

XXX

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Be here next time when Kodachi enters the picture. Make sure you read the next chapter because things aren't going to happen the way you think they're going to happen. Make sure you leave me a review. Now I'd like to give props to those who gave me reviews for the last chapter.

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