Author's Note: Hi it's 2 months into the new year and I thought I might as well upload something to get the year off to a good start of posting regularly. I have a long-ass chapter for you guys. A lot goes down. So sit tight. As always thanks to my Beta Corinne for reading through all that and sitting through numerous rewrites.
Tell me something I need to know
Then take my breath and never let it go
If you just let me invade your space
I'll take the pleasure, take it with the pain
You feel out of sorts, uneasy... perhaps it was one of those days. It felt like something was looming over the horizon. The very air was static, heavy with potential, like anything that could happen, would happen. Perhaps it was the buzz of the upcoming Live Shows that would decide the Top 4 or even all the mixed emotions from the ending of the show itself. Still, you could tell something monumental was on the way. It both excited and scared you. It could mean one of two things: Success or Devastation. You were leaning towards the former. You were mere moments away from potential triumph, if not in this competition but through finding freedom from the show and the negativity attached to it, far away with your lady love.
Beca had long started you on preparations for the finale, she really did have that much confidence in you and your placing, so much so that you're almost able to see it yourself. And why not everything was already in place for your Top 6 number, you had chosen an Arianna Grande song (you realize that was a tall order but it was go big or go home at this point, and you weren't ready to go home). Anna herself had approved it, she had initially been worried about the higher notes but due to extensive and rigorous practice with Beca as well as Doc Abernathy behind you, you felt confident to tackle them without straining.
The practices were rather draining, there were multiple numbers to prepare for, there would be three performances to showcase you as a finalist. One with Beca or a guest judge (though, honestly, you both knew who you preferred), and two songs that were just yours to perform. On the plus side, this wasn't counting the group numbers that had the rest of the Top 4 included.
There was a lot of opportunity for quality time with Beca so, even though the two of you weren't fully alone, you still appreciated what the additional time afforded you.
Life was all about balance, for every high, there must be a low, so consequently, on the other shittier hand, Jesse started showing up to work again much to your dismay. Apparently, there hadn't been enough proof to implicate him and Cameron was, for some unknown reason, still giving him the benefit of the doubt. He was absolutely convinced that Jesse had no involvement whatsoever so much so he was trying to act like the bridge between the two supposed lovers, not at all hiding his intent for them to get back together.
You were glad Beca was having none of it. She ignored Jesse's every single attempt to talk to her, she didn't allow him to even come within an inch of her. She had all her messages passed through Kimmy Jin and he, on the other hand, had taken poor Benji hostage to do the same, and the whole thing was quite the mess, much to Cameron's dismay.
The old man was quite a nuisance himself, and he seemed to find more excuses to hang about observing everything (you also supposed because the show was ending and it made sense for him to be present) but still, there was something behind his eyes, a weight when he looked at you, and you think you catch him staring between the two of you, and sometimes you see him taking Beca aside more often when you so happen to be around, cutting into your time with her. You felt weird about bringing anything up with Beca, she had her issues with him but still aside from her annoyance she still thought he was being well-meaning.
True to your word you tried your best to not involve the girls in anything Bechloe related especially if it wasn't necessary. It wasn't a big deal anyway, and perhaps you were overthinking things. Plus everyone had their own thing going on. Aubrey had a big case. Of course, you saw Fat Amy from time to time and Cynthia Rose was always nearby, but none of you had that much time during rehearsals to hang out and chat not like before. Beca wanted you both focused on the competition. Honestly, since losing Stacie it's like a fire had been stoked in her, she was hell-bent on not losing anyone else and she wanted both of you in the Finale. So you couldn't blame her for being so hyper-focused, almost scarily intense during your sessions. More coach Beca then best friend or even girlfriend Beca.
Still, you were able to get through it all because, despite everything that had happened, you had her. Beca was with you, even if not out in the open just yet but she was yours, you belonged to one another. She loved you. That knowledge alone sustained you.
She showed it in her own ways with prolonged secret eye contact, with words that had meaning to only the two of you. She had painstakingly gone over potential songs with you each night, trying to find the perfect arrangements, staying longer than necessary. The two of you worked till you were both happy with the final choices.
Angel
She Used to Be MIne
Still the one
Titanium
You were kept preoccupied enough by it all and you felt a quiet satisfaction with the routine you had established. The only major diversion to your week would be the going away celebration of Stacie.
You were all back in the same house, the exact room, with the same people but this was a far more somber event bringing you all there: One of you would be leaving, this was a going-away party of sorts. The contrast between your last time there together was there but somehow the event itself was far from sad, merely poignant, full of nostalgia.
It was a slow, mellow night full of champagne and warm laughter. Of reminiscing past memories and of serious talks of dreams and hopes for the future, a future beyond the show.
A future beyond your little bubble of a world inside the show. It was too much for you to think of things going back to normal or the new kind of normal once this all came to an end. The outside world almost seemed like something of a dream, something far away. It overwhelmed you, you felt wholly unprepared for everything, like an animal raised in captivity being released into the wild. But here in this space and time surrounded by all your favorite people, you felt safe and almost like yourself. Like nothing would change even though so many things already had.
The days were dwindling. It makes you want to hold on tighter to everyone and everything. It makes you restless and anxious. You want things to stay as they were with all your best girls with you. You'd taken it for granted just how lucky you were to have established friendships under the circumstances and having a place to see them on the regular.
You had gone through so much and bonded quickly. You know whatever happened those bonds would last for life. But still, you fear what it would mean. Even the closest of people fall out, distance caused strain and misunderstandings and awkwardness. Maybe what would be left would be empty, stilted conversations that would make you doubt what even made you friends in the first place.
Still, everyone else seemed more optimistic and didn't see leaving the show as the end. There were lives to be led outside of being a celebrity.
Cynthia Rose mentions joining the army. You all commend her for wanting to serve the country.
Fat Amy wants to do stand-up or do a little bit on her Fat Amy Winehouse character and even try expanding and adding others such as Fat Amy Adams and Fat Amy Grant. You could see that becoming a big hit. But then again she had the entertainer spark in her, she could excel at anything.
Stacie surprises you all, "Maybe I'll have a kid?" she says completely straight-faced, you all giggle awkwardly not sure if she meant it or was making a joke you had yet to hear the punchline of. As the silence stretches on you find yourself realizing she meant what she said. You were more skeptical than anything else since you were expecting her to be doing so many other things other than what she had said- be a nail technician or continuing performing elsewhere.
"Wait- what, you , want to have or like birth an actual human being out of your hunter? Like you'll actually raise one of those?" Fat Amy asks bluntly, somewhat incredulously.
"I'll let you know I'm actually really good with them, and I'm perfectly capable." Stacie says matter of factly.
"Yeah sorry but that's just so unexpected, plus you'd have to give up so much…" Aubrey trails off.
"Well I hate to say it but I'm not getting any younger plus I said have a kid, not get married, I can still date or be a rockstar or do all of those other things. I just want someone in my life that's completely mine. I want to raise my baby with whoever I want, I could raise it with you guys and I'm sure even Amy could do a better job than any man out there."
You watch for a moment as small smiles creep on everyone's faces slowly warming up to the somewhat out-there idea.
Fat Amy finally concedes. "You better not take that back, and better believe I will God-mother the shit out of that Baby. Like I'll go full Rumplestiltskin-you owe me that child now."
"Okay then-It's a deal but what about you, no life-altering personal plans for the future?" Stacie follows up.
"I guess after all the sleeping around I'd eventually want to find my person, my twin flame, the one who understands me and knows me better than I do myself and just loves me as I am. Not Fat Amy, but as Patricia."
"I want to get married someday as well and have a little family myself, years from now though," Cynthia says.
You can't help yourself when you look over to Beca. You wanted all that too, so bad. But first things first and one thing at a time. You had exchanged 'I love you's' after months of friendship and so much more in between. Maybe a baby was still a long way off. But you realize it might be a possibility and it gives you a little thrill in the deepest part of your gut.
You thought that Stacie was the only one to surprise you, but apparently, Beca had other thoughts,
"Hmm I'm not sure if I'd have kids...I mean, they're great, my kid brother is awesome and all but having one of my own... and having my own needs and dreams on the back burner it's not really a priority for me."
You try to keep your face neutral, trying to tamper down your disappointment. She was dashing all your images of brunette as well as redhead, blue-eyed babies.
Really it was no biggie, you were both still so young to be thinking so far ahead. But still, for her to discount having them all together was hard to hear.
"Well let's toast to our Stace! For having the lady balls, or I mean the uterus to want to take on the challenge that is motherhood! Let her get knocked up at her next encounter and let us all become aunts!" Amy chimes in, perhaps wanting to move ahead, sensing or seeing your disappointment.
"Hmm, might be sooner than you think. I may have raw dogged it just before I came here." Stacie laughed, a glint in her eye.
"Are you serious Stace?" Aubrey can't help the judgment crossing her face nose wrinkled,
"Well, the guy was always genuinely nice to me, apologizing for Bumper and I thought he was just trying to get into my pants but when I got booted off the show he comforted me when he had no reason to."
"You're talking about Donald?" You ask.
"A lady never spills her secrets…" she says coyly, her eyes shining mischievously,
"Fine-" you begin, keen to move ahead.
"-Lucky I'm no lady." Stacie gives in, " Yes, Donald. And I'll tell you his beatboxing and singing isn't even what his mouth is best at."
"We'll take your word for it and good for you." Aubrey can't help frowning, looking dubious.
" Very good." she mouths wagging her eyebrows, which makes Cynthia Rose and Amy laugh, "What about you Beca, any grand childfree wishes for your future?" Aubrey pushes ahead, her eyebrow raised in question.
"Let me amend what I just said. There's nothing wrong with wanting babies, I was just saying that me myself, I haven't anything remotely drastic in mind. I don't really have the luxury for that, my time isn't my own but I guess what I want, I want a future where we get to be happy, that's the best thing I could wish for you all... simple happiness," Beca chimes in, "may it be with each other, or alone doing what we're made to do."
Once again you're left wanting with her answer, she didn't mention the two of you, there was nothing about commitment or about longevity there but somehow you also hadn't expected more like somehow you were resigned to it. What did you expect? Love didn't guarantee a fixed future or even forever.
Your throat already feels thick with disappointment, but now it's coated with the overwhelming feeling of helplessness, quickly followed by the deep raw ache of being unclaimed.
"Just promise even with each of us pursuing whatever paths we decide to take, we'll still see each other as often as we can." Fat Amy says her voice small, you feel yourself tearing up, you draw in a shallow breath at the thought. Two weeks from now you'd all be parting ways, doing different things.
You feel your pulse quicken, you can't shake that feeling of losing everyone-feeling the overwhelming need to hold on to something that was all too quickly slipping out of your fingers. You feel desperate, dependent, fearful of being parted- of feeling adrift and untethered.
"Of course! I'd give anything to keep performing with you guys! I'd do anything for you guys. Anything ! I love you guys so much! You're my people." you say your voice shaky, your lip trembling.
You look around and see similar sentiments etched across all their faces. You're not the only one with all too shiny eyes. Beca wordlessly comes up behind you to put her warm hand to steady you and she's ready with a tissue when sure enough you feel the warmth spilling over your cheeks.
"Here, Here! Also, if that were at all possible, I'd be the first to sign up!" Fat Amy says.
Beca's hand which continuously rubs at your back works wonders, already, your heart which initially quickened at her proximity begins to calm. It reaches the deep recesses of your heart, soothes the ache working like a balm. It calms your fears, your worries of things that hadn't come to be yet-it grounded you in the present. She was here, she was with you right now. Whatever happened you all had each other, you had tonight.
"I mean it's funny how we aren't tired of each other just yet." Aubrey says.
"Never!" you all chorus.
"We'll be in each other's lives after this no matter what!" you vehemently insist, at the same time proclaiming to the universe.
"Do you promise, Becs? You won't just move on and see this, all of us as a blip in your timeline, you won't make us a charming little anecdote for TV interviews? " Stacie questions trying to come off light and humorous, but you see doubt clouding her eyes. It makes your stomach pang, she had a point. You knew how unpredictable and uncertain Beca's life could be, especially because she's going to be constantly on the move after the show. She'll be going on tour after she releases the album she's been working on.
"Of course not, Stace-" you start in Beca's defense, Beca looks at you silently conveying she could take this on, she reaches to grasp Stacie's hands between hers.
"I'll be a call or text or even email away if ever you or anyone of you guys ever need anything, anything at all... " she says making sure to establish eye contact in turn with each of you, she manages to send a sly wink your way, "but for the email just letting you know, it's for like dire, really important, SOS scenarios, okay but really please don't hesitate, especially you Stace, and well, also you Aubrey," she says leaning over to squeeze Aubrey's elbow, "just cos you aren't actively in the competition doesn't need to mean we won't have means to communicate, as often and as we have, and really, all of you will always have a place here in my home. I don't know how else to say it, but you guys are my family-"
"-the most unconventional I've seen." Aubrey can't help chime in under her breath, she looks around not realizing or unaware she spoke her thoughts out loud, "but I'm told most families are, so why not?" Beca just rolls her eyes good-humoredly squeezing her elbow again a little bit more strongly this time around before continuing.
"-and in a way you guys made this place feel more like a home than it ever had before, well not for a long time. Before it felt like a place to stop by now it's somewhere to come home to." She looks down shyly, slightly embarrassed, a half-smile on her face as she says so. You think she looks so ridiculously endearing.
"Beca ." Fat Amy whines, affected as well, emotion getting the better of her, face all twisted up.
"Amy I swear to god don't make that face! If you cry-we're all gonna cry. We're not doing that with you today." Beca says her voice already choked up.
"I'm not making a face, this is my regular face." she insists, even as her face contorts as she tries to hold in her tears.
"Thanks for that, it was so uncharacteristically sweet of you, Becs." Stacie says coming up to hug her and a whole group hug occurs, even Aubrey stays close to her side.
"We didn't know you had it in you!" Fat Amy says, leaning to scoop Beca up and lifting her off the ground.
"What can I say you awesome nerds slowly but surely hugged the bad ass out of me." Beca said, a soft hint to her voice that you recognize as her trying so very hard to hold her emotions together and she's almost at her breaking point barely holding back her tears.
"Or you could argue you never were one to begin with, and just let your true sappy self out of the closet." Amy quips to which Beca shakes her head good-humoredly.
"C'mon we all know who finally managed to pierce through that tough iron-clad exterior." Cynthia Rose hints, a half-smile on her face.
"And made Beca's itsy bitsy grinch heart triple in size!" Stacie piles on. They all have eat-shitting, miles long smiles on their faces as they look at you.
"Chloe really has that effect, makes the coldest most socially awkward people almost normal." Aubrey piles on and you know she was speaking firsthand it was both a dig at herself and Beca, "I guess you could say that she makes you a better person, that she brought out the best in you, that you guys do bring out the best in one another." Aubrey concedes.
"As all good relationships are supposed to do." Cynthia Rose agrees nodding sagely.
"Chloe inspires all that in everyone and more without even trying." Beca can't help looking over her smile widening, cheeks flushing.
"Not a lot of people are amenable to that but Beca does her utmost to work on herself. She doesn't shy away from anything... and she's more open to things now." you say, truly proud of her and all the efforts she had taken, she smiles that soft special smile that you recognise was just yours. Her face is glowing and glorious and you are so enamored with her, you are quite beside yourself, you could almost kiss her, you feel like every emotion is written so plainly across your face, on both of your faces, none of you breaking eye contact.
"Uh guys we're still here." Cynthia Rose clears her throat breaking the spell. You feel your face get hot.
"Do us a favor and get into one of these rooms already and get all blowey.' 'Stacie says. "Please, the sexual tension is killing us all."
"We're literally choking on it!" Fat Amy says looking as she were batting away the invisible particles floating surrounding the both of you.
"Chloe's literally like a cat in heat." Aubrey says,
The flush reaches the rest of your body mostly out of embarrassment, they were so crass sometimes
"Not that it's any of you guys' business but I cherish any time I'd spend with Chloe and she deserves grand gestures, along with scented candles and petals, not just any old room."
"I cherish our time together too." you say, feeling your own heart triple in size.
"You guys really are sickeningly sweet, you know that?" Aubrey says, which brings smiles to both your faces.
"So I guess the next big invite for us to be together in celebration after the competition would be to you guys' wedding?" Fat Amy says nudging Beca out of a daze,
"Don't forget you said we'd be your wedding singers!" Stacie joined in,
"I'm sure Aubrey would like to officiate?" Cynthia Rose offers, ignoring Fat Amy's raised hand,
"I'm not yet a Judge so... but yeah of course, sure." Aubrey stumbles when the others give her a look.
"Seriously pick me! I have the Tasmanian powers vested in me to marry people." Fat Amy points at herself.
You glance at Beca trying to gauge how she was taking the teasing, as you expect her to clench up and get self-conscious,
"Sure, make sure to keep your calendars open..." she kids right along, smirking at your expression. You probably resemble a fish with your mouth gaping and unable to utter any reply.
Your stomach pleasantly squirms, doing wild summersaults. Okay, kids, she was on the fence but a definite future with you she was still considering. She joked about weddings so...
Something in the back of your mind resurfaces, a memory, it was something you had to do before the week was over, an errand of some sort, or was it?
In your mind's eye you're suddenly transported back to your own kitchen mulling things over as you read your mail that was left on the counter. It had arrived a week or so ago, you had refrained from rereading it since that first time and promptly forgotten about it.
It was an invitation to the much-discussed and long-awaited family event: your grandparents were renewing their vows and all of the relatives and anyone remotely related was going. It contained an RSVP. Chloe Beale and date, it had said.
You don't think they expected Aubrey to be your date since she had her own invitation so you had assumed they expected you to bring someone new for them to grill, and embarrass you in front of. You had made the mistake of bringing Colleen home once during the Holidays and you thought to yourself, as you both headed back to your college dorms exhausted, never again.
But this time, you had wanted someone there, you had a someone, a significant other, an actual date to bring. You had allowed yourself a moment to imagine how it would be like bringing Beca home to your childhood home, introducing her to family.
You felt oddly excited but then with a pang, you remembered who she was, who you both were.
She was still Beca Mitchell and you, the suspected harlot who got in between one of the most followed Hollywood 'It' couples.
So yeah, that wouldn't be the best thing to do not now while everything was so fresh. You wonder until when you'd have to wait.
You think of Charles and Camila as you had just watched The Crown, they'd be the last people you'd empathize with since you were a massive Diana fan, but still you think how long they waited to be officially recognized to be allowed to be together.
Or Justin Beiber and Selena long broken up, one was already married but still, the fans wouldn't let up.
But somehow just before the latest video expose business had gone down, you had found yourself wanting to ask Beca but now it didn't seem like it was worth bringing it up since there was no chance in hell of her making it anyway she was too busy. You don't think she'd consider it, you know the last place Beca wanted to be seen was with your family or anything at all related to you outside of the competition.
Stacie's going away party turned into a whole weekend deal. Aubrey had to go on home ahead that first night to continue working on her case.
You are up early Sunday morning, needing to get home as soon as was reasonably possible to get away without looking like you weren't creeping out. You'd enjoyed Stacie's send-off, it had finished on a high, despite Fat Amy falling down the stairs after one too many cocktails. Aside from a bruised knee, she seemed okay but you wondered what the morning would bring for her.
After that incident, Beca had called everyone together and it had taken about twenty minutes for you all to decide which movie you were going to watch. Eventually, as Beca was ordering enough pizza to feed a small army, you'd decided on a movie about a misfit acapella singing group. It brought some laughs to the group, despite the cliche ending. (You honestly thought the lead Bea deserved to end up with Carrie, not with that Jay guy, the two literally had no chemistry whatsoever and their romance was so forced.)
It was just the kind of evening that was needed by everyone, but especially Beca. You loved seeing her relaxed in her own home, at ease with the girls and forgetting about her mundane duties for a little while. It gave you hope for the future and what it might afford you.
Everyone had eventually fallen asleep on the couches or had made a bed out of cushions and throws on the floor. You'd lain awake for a while, Beca's head resting dangerously close to your thigh and you watched her sleep. Her eyes twitched every so often and she mumbled a couple of times; words that you were unable to understand. At one point, you brushed some hair away from her face and she smiled the smallest of smiles at your touch.
As dawn broke, you knew you needed to get home. You hadn't been able to stay home and just hang with Aubrey for days, leading up to this party you'd both been so busy. You were always in and out for rehearsals and you usually got back late when she would already be sleeping, passed out on her study desk. You know even before you walked in that she would be up to her knees in paperwork and would have her hands full and wouldn't have been able to complete most of the household chores. You had a mountain of laundry awaiting you and you needed to call your mother about the upcoming nuptials. You hadn't drunk as much as the others the night before and, while you felt a little hazy as you stretched out under the couch throw you'd wrestled from Amy's grip, you wanted to get up and out before the others woke.
You press a small kiss to Beca's cheek as you leave, she stirs but doesn't wake as you order an Uber and you close her front door. You know she'll wonder where you went so you drop her a message when you are in the taxi.
B,
Morning my love, I hope you drink water first thing and that , over breakfast , Marie doesn't subject you and the girls to her stern motherly stare, and her disappointed sighs for overimbing last night. Honestly, we started off so great. I blame you for bringing out the hard drinks , but mostly Amy and the girls for egging you on, wait no scratch that I don't blame you ... you are completely blameless, I know you did that to be a good host and I can't even fault you for humoring them ... us, in your own home no less , as you always do. I'm sorry I couldn't stay much longer, honestly, I fear if I do they'll keep finding a reason to stretch the party till Monday and that I may never leave your house again , though truth be told we both know what makes it so hard to leave. Seeing you lying there so peacefully would tempt anyone to join and stay forever. Alas, life calls, I've got errands to run and chores to do at home. I'll see you very, very soon. I miss your face.
Love you,
C
You arrive home and Aubrey is seated at the breakfast bar, eating some fruit and reading from a small stack of papers in front of her. Snow is curled up sleeping underneath the chair. You keep your voice low, you didn't want to cause a frenzy so early in the day and you don't think your hangover could take it.
"Hey." You say, slotting your purse onto the kitchen counter.
"Hi." She says, not lifting her eyes from the page she's reading.
"Any coffee?" You ask, looking over towards the pot.
"No." She says, laying a finger down on the page she is reading to mark her place. She looks up at you, baulking slightly at your appearance. "I'd have made some if I'd known you'd come home looking like... that."
You glance down at yourself and realize your shirt is dotted in pizza crust crumbs and the remnants of something sticky which you can't recollect.
"Long night." You say, in a way of response.
"Uh huh." Aubrey says, giving you the once over. "I'm glad I got out before it reached that point. Lucky it's still dark out, the paparazzi would have a field day: Mitchell trades in Hot Jess for a hot Me-" she smirks then squeals when you throw your shoe at her, you miss but the loud noise makes you flinch, which makes her laugh.
"Sorry... too far." she apologizes, but looks far from it, the wise-ass can't seem to wipe the smile off her face,
"Can I get you anything, person who barely lives here and I hardly see anymore?" she teases with a hint of a bite.
"I'm starving." You mutter, trying to get away from her gaze. "Have you had breakfast?"
Aubrey nods towards the plate on her left and you, again, notice the fruit, neatly cut into slices.
"I think I'll grab some toast."
"Good luck with finding any bread." Aubrey says, dropping her head to continue reading.
"Oh, we've run out?"
"No bread, milk, vegetables, yogurt, English muffins, bacon... actually, there's not much food in the cupboards at all." She says a little sharply.
You wrinkle your nose as you look at the shopping list, stuck to the front of the fridge with a whimsical magnet. Shit ! You inwardly groan. It had been your turn to do the grocery run a few days ago and you'd been too busy to consider doing it and had completely forgotten. No wonder she looked slightly annoyed.
"Sorry, Bree." You breathe out. "I'll go to the store now."
"It's fine. You don't have to go straight away... change first at least. And Snow has been begging for attention and is long overdue for a walk." She huffs a little, you realize you are interrupting her reading and in that moment, you regret wanting to have your quality time with her. You want to be back in Beca's house, curled up with her and the girls. "I'll just go get it done." You don't wait for Aubrey to answer and instead head back out of the door to the small grocery a couple of blocks away. It's more expensive there, but you figure it's the least you can do.
You walk around the aisles aimlessly for a few minutes before picking up a stray cart and begin filling it with a few things. You notice a couple of people turn their heads to give you not so subtle glances as if they are trying to remember where they know you from. You look down and guess the pizza stains on your shirt might also have something to do with that. You tuck away the part that had a big stain, and you put on a pair of eyeglasses hoping that the Clark Kent effect would be a thing.
Lining up at the register, you glance down and see Beca's face on one of the covers of the stack of magazines on the rack. It's only a small picture but you can only make out the word 'scandal', as the others are covered up by a different magazine.
You wonder if Beca ever had the opportunity to go to a grocery store like this or if she always had to be careful, keep dark glasses with her at all times, and always be ready to pose for pictures, and talk with fans. It certainly gives you food for thought as the cashier begins bagging your groceries.
You begin to walk home slowly, recalling the words she'd said about her time not being her own. You used to think that being a celebrity meant freedom, that all opportunities were afforded to you, and that you were able to own who you were and be loved for it, but you didn't realize how much it actually took away from you, the anonymity, privacy, your whole identity. You had to have thick skin and people around you to keep you grounded, lest you lose yourself in the process.
A high pitched overjoyed scream fills your ear making you jump, you realize the noise wasn't just a noise it was your name being called, you turn around and are engulfed into a bone-crushing hug. Wait a second, this hug, that voice it all felt familiar.
"NO way Carrot! Is that you-" Colleen laughs delightedly, her green eyes dancing, "what are you wearing? Look at you rocking the `I'm a celebrity I can wear whatever I want...', wait, is that a tomato stain?"
"Wait C? What are you doing here?" you ask dumbfounded and surreptitiously try to tuck your shirt again.
"I felt like buying over expensive groceries from across town... my goodness, but never mind that, you still look so very lovely... I've been wanting to hear from you!"
"Yeah I'm sorry, I haven't been... I have a lot going on-"
"-No! No! That's okay, it's perfectly understandable, you're busy preparing for the Finale, aren't you?"
"Not yet, um, Top 6."
"You'll get in." she nods confidently, "Wait since I can never get a hold of you, can I maybe get you to join me for a quick breakfast?"
"Sure, erm," you look around, "There's a nice cafe across-"
"-Sure thing, let's go!" She races ahead, grabbing your hand at the last minute yanking you forward. You can't help the unrestrained giggle that follows. You shake your head, this crazy friend of yours hasn't changed the slightest, still as free-spirited and impulsive as usual.
"Why the long face, Carrot?" She asks once she's set her cappuccino down. You smooth your forehead, not realizing you had been frowning all this time, your thoughts had drifted inevitably again to Beca.
"A horse joke?" you ask, seeing her twinkling mischievous eyes.
"Nay? Geddit?"
"For a medical professional you really do make me question your intelligence."
"Haha, you miss my special brand of humor." she cajoles, You shake your head disbelievingly before you find yourself answering.
"I do." You missed everything about her presence, the lightness, the ease, the openness... the freedom.
"So tell me about you. Truly how are you faring? Feel free to share about the competition or anything outside it that you want to discuss."
"Well, I'm in the Top 6. I consider myself very lucky."
"It wasn't luck you earned it, my dear. Oh, by the way, how's Beca? Is her hand healing okay?" she says, bringing her up a little bit too casually while scratching her nose.
"She's great, yeah there's barely a hint of a scar there. Yeah, we... we had fun last night hanging out with Stacie and the group."
"Yeah, that's awesome that you were able to get together one last time. It's such a shame I really felt like Donald shouldn't have gotten in but I'm sure Stacie will have plenty of opportunities after."
"Yeah, the girl is so crazy talented that she could do acting as well. Actually, the whole group is just made of such amazing people. I wish you could meet them."
"I'm glad you guys are still hanging out even after... That really sucked about the video, it was blown widely out of proportion. How's it been affecting you guys... actually tell me about how you've been dealing with it."
Normally such prying questions would wear you out, make you cautious but this was Colleen you know she's asking out of genuine concern and not to get the latest dish.
You huff, try to play off what trepidation you're feeling with a sigh. "It's whatever, you know... it's not a big deal at this point. It's fine," you feel her hand cover yours,
"Hey... Don't do that." she said looking sad and a tad wistful.
"Do what?" you ask, unaware you were doing anything.
"Filter yourself, this is a safe space. Plus you used to be able to tell me everything." she says with a half-smile, squeezing your hand before letting go.
"Yeah…" You remember stories you had never shared to anyone, complaining about Aubrey, about several things really, your family, and the pressure you felt not to disappoint anyone, there was very little she didn't know about you. "you were always the best listener,"
People always said that about you but you never had someone who returned the favor quite like Colleen.
"So, let me be that for you again. Tell me whatever it is weighing your mind."
You feel guilty but somehow it all comes spilling out but really who else could you talk to about this you couldn't tell Beca of your nagging suspicions about her father and you needed someone, a completely objective third party observer with no personal interest in the matter who could listen without losing her cool. You didn't want to ask Beca any more than she was already giving as she was already trying her best.
"Also Beca's ex still goes to work at the studio." You explain.
"And? You're worried?"
"About her, yeah he's still aggressively pursuing her. I worry for her safety."
"But he won't come between you two." You look up in surprise. Her eyes are observing you intently, but she laughs.
"Cmon, Carrot the moment you brought her to me at 3 am I knew what was up plus she was sending me territorial signals the entire time. Whenever you and I so much as touched, I felt like her gaze would burn holes in my flesh."
"We weren't, no we're not-" she raises her perfect brow, her eyes reading you so well. You shake your head, of course, it was no use lying to her.
"...official then so yeah, and you have to forgive her she doesn't know us and our history and you and I have always had this skinship, she always thought that I was the only overly clingy person out there."
"Imagine that, Hollywood It girl Beca Mitchell was threatened by me. " she says it good-naturedly, but a glint comes to her eye, "Does she know we've seen each other naked?"
"Geez! Don't say it like that, you'll give the wrong Idea. Yes, you ran across the school lawn buck naked."
"And you once forgot your towel outside of the washroom and instead of getting your clothes back on you tried to make a run for it." she cackles,
"Well the room was supposed to be empty." you say indignant, but unable to stifle your own laughter.
"I don't know if you know this but you're supposed to lock the door." she counters and the two of you laugh it off, it goes on for a while and you wipe away a tear from the corner of your eye. You gaze back at your dear friend fondly wanting to tell her how happy you were that, years later, you could still be like this. But she beats you to it.
"I miss you, you know. Where have all the years gone?" She says, her eyes shiny, casually running a hand through her luxurious strawberry blonde hair, "I miss how much easier it was then, well not school, I'd rather die than experience that again but I mean, seeing each other and just hanging out together. I think about our college days a lot." she says, her eyes becoming intense, the mood shifting so suddenly.
"Yeah it was a lot of fun." you say lightly, looking away. "You were such a comfort to me then, you always took care of me, and you were always there even when I didn't ask for it."
"That's cos I was a tiny bit in love with you." she teases, you feel yourself sucking in a breath, and promptly choking on your drink with the sudden confession. She pushes tissues your way and her hand goes to your back. You feel yourself stiffen.
"What?" You say after you have recovered. This was so sudden and far too much to process over breakfast, with a hangover no less.
"Surely you knew?" she laughs, but she seems jumpy, her eyes not quite meeting yours. It makes you nervous. You try to laugh away any feeling of awkwardness or whatever it is you were feeling you can't fully name it.
"You said you had a crush on me like it was a passing little thing." you try to explain it away, still, you remember how flattered you were back then, how much you treasured what she'd said.
"I couldn't very much say that you were the love of my life, could I?"
"Colleen what-" you stutter out. "I mean uh-" Why did it feel like you were having a seizure of some sort. Surely it shouldn't be this hard to talk about this with one of your closest dearest friends. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt her feelings by reacting badly.
"-Chloe, I don't expect anything," she tries a laugh and for some reason it makes you feel worse, "I was feeling nostalgic...I got caught up in the moment is all, it's just been so long since we've talked like this and it just felt good to get it out there..." she shakes her head at herself, "and I know it's always been one-sided. I mean, what was I compared to the great Beca Mitchell?" she says suddenly looking downtrodden. It puts you in a bit of a panic, the look really didn't suit her. Colleen was one of the lightest, happiest unbothered people you knew.
Man, you were really fucking up the not hurting her feelings part. This was all too sudden and confusing, but still,
"But I did have feelings for you at one point," You admit aloud. You remember how close you were back then, how you could've been on the brink of something. There were many close calls.
You think how maybe pre-Beca you'd have considered it. But that was then.
She looks up in surprise, her eyes glinting, you're quick to dash any hope there "it was a good thing we never acted on it cos we were... are always better off as friends."
"Yeah. I know…" she says, voice small, before she laughs it off and shakes her head, her eyes remain serious, "Mitchell better know how lucky she is."
"She does." you say, nodding your head to affirm this fully.
"Seriously Carrot. You need to be with someone who isn't scared to be with you."
"She's just biding her time."
"Till when? It's not like she's ever gonna stop being Beca Mitchell."
It gives you food for thought. It shouldn't bother you but it does.
The two of you part as soon as you finish your meal, the rest of the time together no longer containing serious topics or sudden confessions.
She offers to walk you home and help carry the groceries but you tell her it was enough that you saw her and that your day was already complete and she needn't bother walking further out of her way when she was already heading the opposite direction to meet with a client.
Aubrey seems completely unfazed by your late appearance. She greets you at the door carrying Snow, she wordlessly switches her around with the groceries so that you're now carrying her. The ball of fur immediately goes for your face, her cold nose and wet tongue finding any crevice it can reach.
"Snow!" you say around a yelp, pulling back, she was excitable as always, "Yeah, I know, I miss you too baby!"
"So you were with C?" Aubrey asks outright.
"Huh? Yes. How did you-"
"She posted pictures on her insta, it showed up on some articles there's been speculations of who she is to you. I'm glad you guys got to bond."
"Yeah I meant to text but I got distracted."
"It's understandable, you had your hands full. Sorry about earlier I shouldn't have been all snippy."
"That's okay, I'm used to that side of you. Sometimes I even miss it. We should make time for us to bond. I know we're both crazy busy but after all this…"
"Why wait? I got just enough done to have free time."
"Ooh, what are you in the mood for?" You think maybe a movie. You'd seen something on Netflix you'd been meaning to binge. A musical maybe. Or a cartoon.
"Cleaning. We have to get it done."
"That's your idea of us bonding?"
"Oh c'mon you're acting like we hadn't had these cleaning day bonding sessions."
"Yeah, but I was kinda hoping that was a thing of the distant past but what would we be without our traditions? Our sister bonding days."
"We'd be living in a pigsty, that's what. And Posen's don't live in pigsties. You know what they say, The truly clean never rest. That's not a real saying is it?"
"It's the first I'm hearing of it."
"I'm really starting to think my Dad just sprouted whatever nonsense that came into his head. God, lemme try to keep from being too neurotic."
You shake your head. "Honestly I wouldn't have you any other way."
"Chloe Beale performing Love Me Harder by Arianna Grande."
A single spotlight and a microphone were waiting for you at center stage. You begin with your head bowed over then slowly raise it as the instruments kick in. A single violin first.
Tell me something, I need to know
Then take my breath and never let it go
If you just let me invade your space
I'll take the pleasure, take it with the pain .
Then the rest of the strings come in. You see Beca nodding to herself, pleased with her vision coming to life.
And if in the moment I bite my lip
Baby, in that moment, you'll know this
Is something bigger than us and beyond bliss
Give me a reason to believe it
More lights appear behind you encasing you in their glow.
You feel very much in your groove as you begin the chorus, the backup singers harmonizing behind.
'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Gotta love me harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
You're trying not to have prolonged eye contact with Beca, the words were suggestive enough as it is even with cutting out the Weekend's part in the song.
'Cause if you want to keep me,
gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Imma love you harder)
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Love me harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
So what do I do if I can't figure it out?
You got to try, try, try again
So what do I do if I can't figure it out?
I'm gonna leave, leave, again
'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(I'll love you, love you, love you)
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Love me, love me, baby)
'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Love me harder)
Your eyes can't help drifting over to her when you sing the last of the lines. And when your eyes lock, you swear for those last seconds, it was only the two of you alone on that stage, much like when she had confessed her love.
You see yourself walking up to her and pushing her back into that chair and kissing her senseless.
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Imma love you harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
You imagine yourself kissing down her neck,
(Love me, love me, baby)
Love me, love me, love me
(Just a little bit harder, harder, a little bit)
Then unzipping her dress from behind before kneeling and parting her creamy legs,
Harder, harder, harder
The applause breaks you from your trance. You see Beca from the corner of your eye, late to get to her shaky feet. Her face is so very slightly flushed, her eyes dark. Could it be possible that you weren't the only one who let her mind get carried away with her own fantasizing?
"Let's hear it for Chloe Beale, acapella songstress once again showing her range." Carson says, " Any comments from our judges?"
"Well, I'd like to go first." Adam raises his hand.
"Why is he here? You shouldn't even be here anymore, you don't have a contestant." Blake quips, playing into their usual love-hate dynamic, to much laughter from the audience.
"You're lucky I don't or I'd win." Adam fires back, the audience whoop and cheer.
"Whatever you have to keep telling yourself, man." Usher adds on.
"But I choose them well. Chloe here was on my team not too long ago so…"
"And you dropped the ball on that one." Beca chimes in smirking.
"That I did, but I don't regret it. She's blooming well with you." he says and you see a soft smile there, you feel yourself warm at his word choice, you think you know how he meant it. "Anyway, just want to start with...It's unfair man, the level of talent you just showcased."
He pauses for applause.
"We think we know what you're capable of but then you just completely change it up. You just keep showing us different sides to you. I don't even know what else there is to say except that you're awesome. I've been a fan since day one and I knew that you'd get this far even then. I know we'll see you next week for sure! But guys just to be sure, let's get our votes in!" he finishes with a flourish.
Cheers follow but taper down when Usher goes next,
"Chloe you came in here swinging hard, you showed all of us that you want this bad and that you're more than deserving to be in our Top 6. My boys better step up if they want to make it into the finale cos you've definitely secured your spot."
Blake speaks next,
"You just gave us all a masterclass on showmanship. That wasn't just a number that was an entire performance, that could've been a Grammy stage right there! What else is there that hasn't been said already? You're consistent all throughout, there was not one note outta place, I can't find one fault at all. So we'll be seeing you next week with Amy then?"
"And lastly your coach Beca Mitchell."
"So I'll just keep it short and sweet. You blew them all out of the water, you've worked hard this entire competition and you've earned this moment. Just bask in it. " Beca says her eyes soft, as she stands up and leads the crowd to another round of applause. Your heart feels completely full.
"Chloe Beale everyone!"
You step offstage, breathing harshly, barely able to keep it together as they head into a commercial break. How is it that she could make you go from one different kind of wet mess to another?
You leave the waiting area after wishing Amy luck for her upcoming number. "You crushed it!" she yells after you.
You desperately wanted to talk (yeah right talk) to Beca but she'd left her seat quickly. This time you wondered where she went, you wandered past the hallway leading to the familiar bathroom. You let out a yelp when you're unceremoniously yanked inside the dimly lit area and were pressed to the door.
"Why hello there, Miss Beale. Fancy seeing you here." a gruff voice whispers just by your ear.
Your heart hammers, you nearly scream but then your eyes focus, you come to realize the culprit was the very one you'd been looking for. Beca's right there with her playful eyes and devious smile.
Your heart slows but starts to thud for a much different reason aware of her body's full weight, each part pressed against you. Your first reaction however is to show your annoyance.
"What the hell, you nearly scared me half to death!"
"Sorry, I was just about to leave but I saw you and took a very rare opportunity for us to have some alone time." She says her nose burrowing just by your neck, making you shiver.
"And how were you planning on taking advantage of the opportunity... by talking?" you ask playing coy, you can't help tilting your neck under her ministrations.
"You were being quite the tease yourself, driving me crazy with your seductive singing." She says, her voice pitched low, making you close your eyes, your breaths coming out uneven. You feel her smiling against your cheek.
"And now you have an inkling of what it feels like to lust after an unreachable, unattainable pop star." you jokingly retort, looking up at her through your lashes.
"How ever did you manage all these years?" she asks, smirking.
"Oh don't worry I found relief in other ways." you say which makes her pull back, her eyes curious and so very dark, almost predatory and no longer playful. She finds that special spot just by the hinge of where your jaw and neck meets and presses an open-mouthed kiss there. She slowly makes her way down your neck, to your clavicle where she pauses to lightly scrape her teeth.
"We don't have a lot of time-" you find yourself saying, your mouth searching for hers, knees already wobbly, the disappointment evident.
"Then we better not waste anymore of it."
And just like that, her lips crash onto yours and you can't restrain the moan as she pushes you further against the door.
These days in the very few moments you get, you keep on pushing the envelope a little further, you're kissing deeply (not too roughly as the makeup needed to be salvageable) your legs are quickly parted with one of hers slotted in between, one of her hands has gone just under your shirt, slowly creeping upwards. Your body's on fire, her very touch livewire. You can't help yourself, you show no restraint and are straight up pulling her closer by her ass, "Chloe-" she groans which spurs you on further. You're lifting your leg to meet her already warm center. " fuck" she gasps , and that word, those noises, they should be illegal... they make you do things that you aren't supposed to be doing... especially here at this time, in this place. But reason or any semblance of control had long left the building, all you wanted was to keep hearing, tasting all the many addictive elements that were distinctly Beca.
But of course, this moment was short-lived and her phone starts to buzz, they're calling her back. You had five minutes before they went back live and she has to rush back to her seat.
"Fuck me ." she lets out a much different groan.
"I'm trying to-," you say and you both break into laughter.
"We should probably uh-er-do-the-" Beca starts to say, fumbling for words. You laugh.
"Let the blood rush back to our other organs?" you finish for her. She rolls her eyes and gives you a peck.
"That and make ourselves presentable." And you look down and yeah you should take the time to rearrange some of your clothes and get cleaned up.
"I do look like I was attacked on my way to the bathroom."
"You look delectable." She says, once again leaning in for another kiss,
You back up against your will. "We really need to get back out there."
"Till the next commercial break?" she says,"I'm only half-joking."
"We'll see." you murmur.
You quickly get yourselves in order: pulling clothes back into place, smoothening hair, and reapplying lipstick.
She cites a bathroom emergency when she gets back to her seat with a few seconds to spare. John and Cameron staring daggers at her the whole way.
"Okay going live in ten-nine-eight-seven-six-" John continues to mouth the rest of the numbers then points at Carson.
"We've got Game changer fan-favorite Fat Amy performing We Belong."
The way they staged it, Fat Amy was on a raft with wheels, she was paddling her way forwards through a cloth of blue. You have no idea where they got the idea but she was really selling it.
Many times I've tried to tell you
Many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you
Cut my feelings to the bone
Don't wanna leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
And then she was off the boat and she was approaching, then singing to the judges.
We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
And she wasn't pulling any punches, Fat Amy wanted in on the Finale. This was the hardest she'd gone emoting her ass off, her voice was strong and sure, the song matched her tone completely.
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We belong, we belong
We belong together
Maybe it's a sign of weakness
When I don't know what to say
Maybe I just wouldn't know
What to do with my strength anyway
Have we become a habit?
Do we distort the facts?
Now, there's no looking forward
Now, there's no turning back
When you say
We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We belong, we belong
We belong together
Close your eyes and try to sleep now
Close your eyes and try to dream
Clear your mind and do your best
To try and wash the palette clean
We can't begin to know it
How much we really care
I hear your voice inside me
I see your face everywhere
Still you say
We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We belong, we belong
We belong together
We belong, we belong
She gets rave reviews from the Judges as expected.
Bumper was next he chose to sing John Legend's All of Me and for some reason he changed the words from 'all of me loves all of you' to 'all of you loves all of me'. The judges didn't appreciate that,
"It's one thing to change lyrics like use a different pronoun but to also completely change the meaning of the song that's just unacceptable." Adam explains.
"It's a tad offensive. I'd turn my chair back around if I could." Blake says,
"I don't know why you had to do that man. You have a good song, sing it to the best of your ability, you don't need a gimmick if you use your talents." Usher says shaking his head.
"Amy had a boat, that's as gimmicky as it can get." Bumper snorts,
"She used it as a prop but she didn't falter once, it didn't overshadow what she was doing." Beca says,
"Whatever! America loves me!" he says, there is a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd as he exits.
Carson steps in before the crowd gets out of hand.
"After the commercial break, we have the last three of our Top 6 to perform stay tuned!"
You head into a long commercial break, and just like before Beca is out of her seat before you can catch where she went. (Excited much?) You try to call her but she isn't picking up, you rush off to the make-up room, then to the washroom; all the places you usually find her in between breaks. You ask around, trying to find Beca but no one had seen her it would seem. What was she doing, she was wasting this opportunity.
Your feet lead you to another probable area where she could be and you end up towards the more secluded area of the office. This one you were somewhat familiar with, one of the blindspots where the CCTV didn't reach. You overhear voices just around the corner. You were about to turn back, you felt iffy forging ahead if not for being stopped at your tracks by the all too familiar voice. Beca ?
Somehow when you do see her... you wish you hadn't.
She's there with Jesse in one of your and Beca's make-out spots. Or was it their spot first? Of course not, you shake your head, they were never a real couple. Still, you can't help that jolt of jealousy. They look real enough standing with their heads bowed close together.
You creep closer. You want to barge in but something makes you stay hidden in the shadows. You wanted to give her space. But you remain on edge, you were ready to step in at a moment's notice, if Beca looked like she couldn't handle it, but so far she was doing pretty well.
"So you got me alone, what do you want?" she all but spits out. "You're lucky I don't have Hank handle you like he's been wanting to."
"To talk, Beca. That's all I've wanted."
"Yeah, like it didn't take a message impersonating someone else to get me to come here in the first place, and let's not forget a whole video trying to tear me down to get to this? Understand this Jesse, I'm not doing any of this out of my own volition you forced me, you gave me an ultimatum as you do for everything."
"You shut me out completely, what else was I supposed to do?"
"Then get the picture already. I don't want you anywhere near me and you stay the hell away from Chloe as well!" You look up at the mention of your name and you see her briefly looking your way-perhaps she had seen you.
"I don't give a fuck about Chloe. This is about us... Beca, please ."
"Whatever Jess. Fine, if this is what it takes to stop seeing you altogether... I agree alright. We'll talk and all but not here. Just talk to Kimmy Jin about the arrangements of where and when I have to go back to my seat."
You don't know why you're still hiding away, you manage to duck behind the column as he storms past, but as soon as Jesse leaves you speak.
"You're actually going?" You place a hand on her shoulder and she jumps in surprise, you don't have it in yourself to be amused when you see her face.
She looks thoroughly shaken, she's breathing harshly like it had taken all of her control to maintain that strong front, and it probably had. You know she wasn't the best at confrontation. You place both your hands by her shoulders to steady her before reaching to cup her cheek,
"Hey, It's okay, Becs. I'm here." you're stooping to see her eyes clearly as she won't look at you, She finally looks up, then takes a quick look around before she falls into your arms. You can hear how fast her heart is pounding. "It's okay. You can let go. I'm here." You make soothing noises to calm her down, "How'd he manage to corner you?"
"I got a text saying to meet here, Kimmy Jin told me, I thought it was gonna be you. I thought it was from you." she breathes out shakily.
"I'm sorry I should've jumped in and told him to fuck off, you are under no obligation to see him not now, or ever again!"
"I need to do this, Chloe. I need to confront him and end things once and for all."
"No, you can continue to ignore him for the rest of the show like you promised you would. He's not worth it."
"Chloe we're just gonna talk and I need to lay it all out for him, that he does this or I will resort to the restraining order."
"You do know that every time you agree to his terms that you affirm his actions, right?"
"Chloe, please just trust me alright? I have it all under control but I need you to stay out of it."
"What do you mean?" you say just as her phone vibrates,
"Later okay? I need to go back. Wait, can you take my phone? John was up my ass the other day about me having my phone on me during filming and I already pissed him off. I don't want to be on my second strike. I have to rush."
"But Beca-"
"I'm trusting you with it! The code is your birthday!" she says while backing up.
"You trust me?"
" Always ."
You keep the phone on your person, afraid to leave it anywhere, feeling a tad paranoid about guarding Beca's secrets as you walk around the studio, getting yourself some snacks as you find a spot far off from everyone
You finally find a space and settle down to watch the other numbers.
You see Cynthia Rose doing some vocal warm-ups from across the room and you wave to her mouthing 'you got this.'
She grins big and wide.
'Thanks' she mouths back.
"Before the break we had three performances from Chloe, Bumper and Fat Amy. Up next we have another artist from Team Beca, our powerful vocalist, Cynthia Rose singing a Rihanna classic, Love on the Brain." Carson says as a way of introduction. You watch as the second camera is already set up for a close-up on Cynthia's face. She chose to do the number stripped down with an acoustic guitarist as her only accompaniment.
And you got me like oh
What you want from me?
(What you want from me?)
And I tried to buy your pretty heart
But the price too high
Baby you got me like oh
You love when I fall apart
(Fall apart)
So you can put me together
And throw me against the wall
You close your eyes and let yourself enjoy the sheer beauty, and effortlessness of her voice. She was one of those vocalists who could literally sing anything and it would sound amazing.
Baby you got me like ah, ah
Don't you stop loving me
(Loving me)
Don't quit loving me
(Loving me)
Just start loving me
(Loving me)
You open your eyes and see Beca on the screen just vibing along, a half-smile on her face, gesturing with her hands. You can't help your own smile reappearing. Such a goofball.
Oh, and babe I'm fist fighting with fire
Just to get close to you
Can we burn something babe?
And I run for miles just to get a taste
Somehow your eyes stray from Beca and you see Jesse hanging back in the wings, his eyes on her watching hungrily. It rubs you the wrong way, but you couldn't blame him-she drew attention to herself without doing anything at all. And if you had any doubts of how deep his feelings ran for her-it was all there painted so painly on his face. It almost made you feel sorry for him.
Must be love on the brain
That's got me feeling this way
(Feeling this way)
It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain, yeah
And it keeps cursing my name
(Cursing my name)
No matter what I do
I'm no good without you
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain
Then you keep loving me
Just love me, yeah, just love me
All you need to do is love me, yeah
Got me like ah-ah-ah-ow
I'm tired of being played like a violin
What do I gotta do to get in your motherfuckin' heart?
Baby you got me like I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-hiii, woo I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-hiii
Don't you stop loving me
(Loving me)
Don't quit loving me
(Loving me)
Just start loving me
(Loving me)
Oh, and babe I'm fist fighting with fire
Just to get close to you
Can we burn something babe?
And I run for miles just to get a taste
Must be love on the brain
That's got me feeling this way
(Feeling this way)
It beats me black and blue
But it fucks me so good
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain
And it keeps cursing my name
(Cursing my name)
No matter what I do
I'm no good without you
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain
"That was holy hell... if I could marry a voice... I'd take yours to be my wife!" Blake starts this time,
"Let's not let your girl hear that." Usher cuts him off.
"It's a good thing we can't marry a voice," Blake amends, "but what I'm trying to say we all knew that deciding who would win in this competition would be hard but all of you just keep raising the bar. It's gonna be a bloodbath this finale and honestly I'm all for it so just keep bringing it."
"You keep taking us to church with all those insane rifts! That's the best you've sounded and you always sound topnotch. Just take all the compliments. My ears have been blessed. You've cured world hunger, parted seas etc!" Adam says getting away with himself.
"Coach Beca, do you have anything to add?"
"I've always had the utmost confidence in my girls. They all deserve a spot in the finale and whatever place they get or don't get, it won't tarnish their pure raw talent. I know they have careers waiting for them outside this competition."
Cynthia Rose makes her way offstage and you see her joined shortly by Fat Amy. You hang back in your spot wanting to have some time to yourself first.
"Next we have Team Usher's Luke Paxton as our crooner here to sing, Cry Me A River."
He's sat by a piano, he starts playing before singing.
Now you say you're lonely
You cry the whole night through
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you
Now you say you're sorry
For bein' so untrue
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you
You drove me, nearly drove me out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember, I remember all that you said
Told me love was too plebeian
Told me you were through with me and
Now you say you love me
Well, just to prove you do
Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you
I cried a river over you
I cried a river over you
Another quick break and then there would be the last two numbers, one from Donald and a performance from the coaches. They take a quick meeting with the writers and Cameron is in the middle of it all.
You head back to the snack table to get reinforcements. You're well into your second round of snacks, two glazed donuts, of course, and some water to make up for the unholy amount of sugar you were intaking when you feel the vibration of an incoming call but the ring tone is unfamiliar.
You check, of course, and it was Beca's. You wouldn't answer that but then it stops and then a message flashes on the top quickly, your eyes move faster than it was supposed to,
J wants to meet up tonight.
You think that was the last of it and you make your way back closer to the stage food in tow. You only just realize that they've just gone back live.
And of course, the phone chooses the wrong time to start ringing again. Your hands are full, you struggle to press silent, but the side keys aren't cooperating. You see death glares. John aggressively pointing at the ON AIR sign.
Another call, finally you pick up. You weren't looking for it but the answer came from Kimmy Jin herself letting you know that they would be in fact meeting that very night right at the studios after everyone had left.
In the background, you hear the coaches start on their number a more rock sounding Come Together by the Beatles. "Give it up for Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Beca Mitchell and Usher!"
Adam starts out,
Here come old flattop, he come grooving up slowly
He got joo-joo eyeball, he one holy roller
Then Usher,
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker he just do what he please
Then Blake,
He wear no shoeshine, he got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger, he shoot Coca-Cola
You rush out in time to see as Beca takes over,
He say, "I know you, you know me."
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Then all four sing together,
Come together right now over me
Each coach is rocking on their instruments, Blake on his guitar, and Usher on Bass. Beca takes out a harmonica to play on.
Come together right now over me
Oh
Come together
Yeah, come together
Yeah, come together
Yeah, come together
Yeah, come together
Yeah, come together
Yeah, come together
Yeah, oh
Come together
Yeah, come together
"Let's put your hands together for our coaches for this Season!"
"Our last but certainly not the least artist for the night, multi-talented rapper, lyricist Team Usher's Donald singing The Tracks of My Tears."
People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
I need you, need you
Since you left me if you see me with another girl
Seeming like I'm having fun
Although she may be cute
She's just a substitute
Because you're the permanent one
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look a little bit closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
I need you, need you
So baby take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
Yeah just look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears, baby, baby
Baby take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
Oh look a little bit closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
"That was all of our top 6! Once again we have Team Blake's Amy. Team Beca's Chloe and Cynthia Rose, and of course Team Usher's Bumper, Luke and Donald! Don't forget to cast your vote for your favorite for our Final 4! Stay tuned for our Live Results tomorrow with one final group performance from our Top 6 as well as a number from our coaches and special guests Kelly Clarkson and Alicia Keys."
"What's wrong?" Beca asks as a greeting perhaps realizing something was amiss, as soon as you were able to get together directly after filming. You both stand around trying to look preoccupied while everybody else is busy packing up.
You try to hand Beca her phone as soon as she finds you. You do a weird kind of exchange when you return it to her, you motion towards your ass while you pretend to pick up something and she picks her phone from your back pocket. She was rather confused and distracted for a slight moment.
"Oh. Was there a message?" she says leaning over pretending to look through her bag, she hands you some papers.
"Yes and there was a missed call but that's it. " You glance at them, they were full of little doodles. All the while you thought she was taking notes during the performance but here she was making little hearts with you squint, "Is that my initials? You heart CB?"
"No, Cher Bono... I'm a huge fan." she quickly yanks the paper back, but you see her ears are turning red. You start to giggle but it's cut short, her sudden change of mood palpable.
"He wants to meet me tonight,'' she says, taking a deep breath while looking at the message'' Did Kimmy Jin give me a time?" You almost don't want to tell her. Every part of you feels the need to protect her, desperate to keep her safe.
"7pm. Shall I... do you want me to go with you?" you give her the choice. She looks appreciative enough, but shakes her head.
"I think it's best if you stay away, you'll only aggravate him." she sounds clipped, like she'd already long made up her mind. There she was again trying to look strong, but she had to know how fragile she truly was, how dear to you. Your most precious thing.
"But he could hurt you!" your voice nearly breaks as you voice your deepest worry,
"The only way he could do that is if he hurts you ." She says, sounding pained at the thought. "So please , Chloe, keep out of it!" she almost shouts and you can't help letting out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice." She raises her hand as if to cup your face but thinks better of it, she balls it into a fist instead and sighs, "I'll be okay. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."
You can't help yourself when you quip,
"Are you really a big girl tho? You, who could hide behind the girls, and almost look like she isn't in the room." She rolls her eyes but she doesn't look too annoyed, she's actually trying to tamper her amusement, biting back a smile.
"Really short jokes, is this the time?"
"Sorry was I being too inappropriate? My apologies, coach Mitchell." She shakes her head but her eyes gaze at you fondly for a moment before she turns serious again, looking regretful as she says,
"I have to get ready. And you have to rest for tomorrow... you go on and pack up and head straight home. I'll see you the next day for results night okay?" her hand taps your shoulder, her hand squeezing your arm briefly before she leaves.
You follow what she says for once. You don't want any trouble. You can do this. You can just stay out of it. No biggie.
You arrive home to an empty apartment well except for Snowy who looks overjoyed to see you.
She stares at you, head cocked, her ears flopping cutely which makes you think of Beca for some reason. You reach for those ears you loved so much, softly cupping her angelic face.
You spend time playing with your puppy but your mind keeps drifting off, your eyes keep glancing at the clock, each tick bringing Beca closer to his clutches.
This wasn't helping you any, you needed a distraction in the human form of Aubrey to keep from meddling or doing something stupid like confronting Jesse by yourself,
"This had nothing to do with me, that was between Beca and him." you say out loud, Snowy just cocks her head again,
"It's truly none of my business." you reiterate. She whimpers in response.
"But Beca, she's my business now, right?" you ask the pup. Snowy barks.
"And you should have seen how much he affected her after their last talk. We can't have that!"
The last time the two had talked they'd gotten back together almost immediately, well now you know that to be a lie as there never was a them, but now it's not just the getting back together it was the letting Jesse get away with what he was doing. He was clearly not above using emotional black mail and now actual black mail to get to Beca. She told you that you could trust her to handle it and you didn't discount that, it wasn't her you didn't trust, it was him. And you needed to get to him before she did.
Before you know it you're out the door,
What were you thinking letting her go off alone?
The asshole was probably going to take advantage of her or hurt her. You speed up and hail the next cab.
Your feet are leading the way till you turn up at the meeting spot and come face to face with Jesse already waiting there an hour early like he hadn't left, and he probably hadn't yet. He doesn't look like himself. He looked like a man truly broken, his face had lit up for a split second but after seeing who had come darkness once again descended on his features.
"You were expecting someone else." You say and you almost feel sorry for him, you know just how much she was to lose.
"Where is she? I only wanted to talk to Beca. We needed to mend this and clear the air."
"Let's cut the bullshit, I know you're behind all of this somehow."
He scoffs.
"Why would I intentionally try to hurt Beca? Besides Kori was the one that was caught in the CCTV."
How did he know? No one else has seen the tape.
"You coerced her to do that."
"You would've loved that, wouldn't you? It's always easier to blame me than take responsibility for your actions. I don't have to do anything, you brought this upon yourselves. All of you parading like the brazen little hussies you are, announcing the party shenanigans to everyone within hearing distance. Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, what nicknames! It didn't take us too long to figure it out. All I had to do was give a little nudge to our already jealous Kori."
So, you were right. He did have a hand in it!
"You had to get an innocent to do your dirty work; you're a different level of low. You're the scum of the earth."
"I'm the scum? You're polluting perfection. The Beca I know would never have allowed any of this to happen, would never have put herself in such a position. She's changed since she met you."
"She's let people in." you say as a rebuttal.
"She's made herself vulnerable." he fires back, "She was once the strongest person I knew and now you've made her weak. She could have had me and she chose you. You're toxic, Chloe. You're the reason all of this shit is following her. You're dragging her down."
"As opposed to controlling and manipulating her to do your bidding."
"You don't know me… I'm more than just this cartoon villain you've summed me up to be. I'm capable of so much more. You see, I know people and I know Beca. I've had years on you knowing Beca-the true Beca. And you, truly don't know us-you don't know what I wouldn't do for her and what she's done for me."
You told yourself to remain calm but you feel yourself losing it barely maintaining control of your emotions,
"Just admit it! You can't stand seeing her happy! Why can you just accept that I love Beca, and she loves me."
"Love? Oh, she got to you, didn't she?" he laughs boisterously and you feel a shiver run through you, "Dare to dream… Beca doesn't reciprocate your queer feelings," he scoffs. His eyes crazed. "Don't feel so special, Chloe. Beca doesn't love... she gets what she needs, what she wants for the time being." his eyes become vacant, hollow. He looks truly gone, your heart nearly beats out of your chest and you draw back a little when he does make eye contact, he looks truly crazy. You see numerous emotions battling in their depths. But it's the pity that scares you most.
"Don't you see? She needs to be wanted... to be doted on. But we're all little passages on her way…so enjoy while it lasts, it'll be over before you know it…" he spits out.
You can't take this, all his vicious words, he was just saying whatever he could to get a rise out of you, to turn you against her. But somehow he was still getting to you and he knows it, by indication of his smirk wide and chilling.
"You don't believe me; I thought I was exempt but look how I served my role. I gave her years, years, and just see how easily she replaced me. "
"Kid yourself all you want Chloe… but seriously you think this is the first time we've gone through this? You're just a number in a line of several others… and you know what… in the end she still comes to me… cos whatever you have going on with Beca, it won't last, I promise you that. Once this whole show's done, she'll move on and she'll get bored eventually. She'll get it out of her system and she'll see beyond that facade. The only thing keeping you together is the fact that it's exciting and it's forbidden. It's what she can't have but most desperately wants,for now. Outside of this competition and all the heightened emotions what do you even have in common?"
"Every bit of this TV show and this whole town is dolled up to look better. Your relationship is every bit as fabricated as this whole thing." you manage to get out.
"But I knew her before this. I know her behind the celebrity. Would you have seen her if she wasn't the great Beca Mitchell?"
"I would've-" you say, determined but your voice wavers, coming out small.
"-You don't sound so sure. Meant to be, ha ! You were at the right place at the right time, sure, but meant to be? I hardly doubt it. All your interactions are limited to this show and this scene. You came here deliberately to ensnare her and somehow you managed it. You are the worst kind of over obsessed fan, the kind who puts her up on a pedestal but once she doesn't meet your expectations or acts even remotely human, you cast her aside... do you even have what it takes to stick it through when she's flying everywhere, surrounded by other people."
You blanch at his words.
"I'm the one who's tied with her… I've been with her through her struggles to make it. I was there for a lot of her firsts." You can't help but bristle when he smirks, "I'm the one who the masses know… I'm still known as her partner, my name is connected to hers, we own a company together for Pete's sake… This may be an off and on relationship but it's acceptable… the marriage of the two child Broadway stars turned business partners… we fit the bill… we're the perfect couple…and the only way your name would pop up as the harlot-wannabe-bad influence that broke up the perfect couple…do you want that… hanging over you?" He sounds completely deranged, almost possessed, like he had already painted this entire narrative for them.
He changes tactics.
"What life could you even give her? She would constantly be ridiculed, whispers would follow her wherever she went. It was true after all, that Beca Mitchell and her favorite redhead were shacking up behind the scenes."
You don't know what to say to his words. Each sentence is hitting you harder and harder.
"And really I don't see it. What's so special about you ? Your voice is average, you're pretty sure, but for Beca to drop everything, I don't see it. What hold do you have over her?"
"You know as well as I know that that's not true… that's why you've been such an asshole to me… why we've always had friction between us… you were threatened by me!"
"By you ?" he scoffs
"Even in the early days...by our friendship-"
"-Friendship… that's a laugh! But that's where you're wrong. At first, I genuinely liked the idea of you guys forming one because she had craved closeness but that was when I realized, from the start you went after her, wanting so much more… you wanted to take her from me… when she was mine!"
"She's not yours… Beca isn't something to be owned or taken into possession. She was never yours! Beca is with me… we are together now."
"Right, you had to overwhelm her with all your queerness. Beca's just curious... she never experimented before, she may have wanted one last hurrah before committing to me. But that's what couples go through in a long relationship such as ours. You have no idea what it takes for a relationship such as ours to thrive. "
"I know the truth Jesse."
"You know nothing- " he hisses.
"You're wrong, I know…the real deal Beca. She told me everything. It was all an act from the start. For your careers."
His eyes, so confidentially sure, slip and then for a moment you see a waver before he quickly brings his angry face back, but you'd seen it and now the effects are still there, He had been shaken, rattled even. He keeps shaking his head, trying to block you out, you suppose.
"She told me about your whole set up… so you can stop trying to hurt my feelings or whatever it is you're doing… Beca wanted me and not you, she loves me."
"Beca's not gay!" he shouts to drown you out.
Funny how you see that flash of defensiveness, the same tone that Beca, so blinded by her own internalized homophobia, used when saying it. Jesse says it so vehemently, wanting to be rid of the very notion, practically spitting it out, actual spittle flying out, his eyes crazed as he advances upon you.
"Don't you take another step near her! Or so help me God you will regret it for the rest of your life Swanson!." The voice makes him stop in his tracks.
"Beca?" There's a chorus, as you both say the only name, the only person you and him had in common.
"I'm sorry I took too long, I was under the impression I still had some time before our meeting." she looks at you sternly, inherently you can read it as an 'I'll deal with you later' look. You had tried to get her out of the way, but still her timing couldn't have been any better. She walks up to Jesse, determinedly stepping in front of you.
"Becaw! You came!" he sounds off, a little too over excited as he approaches her. Beca holds her hand up in front of herself, gesturing for him to not come any closer.
"Are you on something?" she asks him directly. To your surprise, he tears up.
"I'm sorry Becs this isn't me, you know this isn't me. I don't want to hurt you or anyone... I got scared I was losing you... and I panicked "
"You set the paparazzi on me." she says coldly, but her voice still carries the hurt at his betrayal.
"That wasn't deliberate, they caught me at a bad time. I had just arrived at the airport and they just surrounded me. I snapped and said we had ended things." he says, trying to plead his case.
"I guess that couldn't be helped…" she says slowly, you see him start to smile, looking relieved at how the conversation was going. He starts to come close again,, keeping his hands palms up in a very non offensive move.
"But if you're so keen on not hurting me, why then must you constantly, constantly put me in situations like this where I have no other choice but to adhere to what you want?" she asks calmly but you can see her start to tremble with barely suppressed fury. "And why, my dear friend, would you go through the whole process of trying to blackmail me by stealing my phone and then nearly leaking the video?"
He winces but his eyes flash.
"I wasn't going to! I was waiting for you to come to me! But if you really want to know it's because you hurt me first and it was the only way I knew to get back at you. You, who cared so much about keeping your private life separate from it all. You shot yourself on the foot with this one." he tilts his head your way, "And I was mad. I'm downright furious at how easily you can replace me and for... her?" He scrunches his eyes tight, his lips start to tremble, "Does it not count for anything Beca? Years… years… I gave up everything for you." he says, falling to his knees and grasping her hands.
You feel so out of place and feel you shouldn't be here witnessing this. But you stay, for Beca's sake.
"Jesse, please!" she tries to remain firm, but you can tell she's seconds away from breaking down crying, "Jess, you're making this way harder than it already is…"
"No… NO! You're being selfish." He yelled.
" I'm being selfish?" her voice breaks, but she presses on." Me? All these years… I haven't allowed myself to want more. I haven't been happy… this arrangement was just that, an arrangement we agreed upon and this-"
"-and it was all for your benefit… do you have any idea what I've sacrificed what I put into this?" Jesse pressed on.
"We won't have to break the company."
"I'm not fucking talking about the company, I mean us as a couple." he breathes out hard.
"We aren't... Look, Jess, I love you, but you know that it can never be, You know we've tried… it didn't work out!"
"But I love you… I've loved you since I was fourteen… I only see you. You never really gave it... us a chance."
"I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lose you too."
"I was all you had back then. We were all we had. If you choose her you will be... If I leave I'm gone forever, you hear me. You can't come crawling back to me if this doesn't pan out or if it gets too hard I can't bail you out again. Doesn't what we have count for something? You're my everything Becs."
"You're my rock Jess, you're like family… and I'll always be thankful-"
"-No, no, I can't believe it... you choose her … You're not gay."
"I don't think I am, I'm just…?"
"Don't give me that confused bullshit?"
"Well I am. I want to love you Jess. I do love you, but not the way you want me to and I can't keep pretending. Please learn to accept that."
"Please" he blubbers, collapsing on the floor." I love you? What do I have to do for you to love me back?"
You wrinkle your nose in disgust but still feel the churn of pity. He continues to stay there crying, thrashing about for what seems like a couple of minutes.
"Beca, maybe we have to move him somewhere else. It's not safe, he's nearly at the area where the CCTV is." You say.
"Don't tell her what to do, this is a couple's spat! Get out, you are just a third party supporting character. I'm the lead and she's my leading lady."
You move closer to Beca.
"Don't touch her!" he says, getting to his feet and pulling her towards him. When she wouldn't follow, he turns to you and he roughly grabs you, catching your arm before swinging you further away.
"Jesse stop!" she shoves him, then rushes to your side "Don't come any closer! We've got the push and your other aggressive actions on video. We have every right to have you taken off this property and you will have to keep your distance from us." Beca says gesturing towards a dark corner where Hank materializes holding up his cellphone.
More surprisingly, he's closely followed by Cameron, who looks dumbstruck looking between the two of you. You feel your blood turn to ice.
Shit
"Wait, Dad what did you... Why are you even here?"
"Cameron, have you been listening the whole time? Are you going to say or do anything?" Jesse demands,
He doesn't answer straight away or perhaps he's still processing. He had just heard everything. You can't read his expression from where you're standing.
Everyone's waiting on bated breath when he speaks in that scary tone that is similar to the one that Beca has.
"You heard her, you're out Jesse." He says clearly and concisely.
"Cameron? What? You're agreeing with this?" Jesse spits out. "Your daughter being a lesb-"
"You will conduct yourself with honor! I expected better from you, Jesse. A real man does not lay a hand on a woman. Under any circumstances."
Hank steps forward after pocketing his phone to take Jesse away who thankfully allows himself to be led peacefully away.
"I'll see them off. I'll be back." Beca says as she follows them, quietly exchanging words with the rest of the security detail that showed up not too long after Hank radioed for them to attend.
You're left alone with Beca's dad. The entire situation felt uncomfortable, making you want to jump out of your skin. Here was the man you felt most awkward around and yet he was still the only one directly connected to Beca, and somehow the one you would want the approval of. He wasn't a Jesse who could be forgotten or done away with, he was her father. You had to extend some sort of olive branch.
"Thanks for what you did." you say keen to break the ice.
"It wasn't for you." He quickly retorts. "Everything I do is for Beca."
"I know." you laugh mostly out of discomfort, unsure what was going on, where he was going with the conversation.
"Jesse may have gone about it the wrong way, but I see what he meant. You've caused quite the little stir, Miss Beale." You feel a shiver pass through you, Oh No you were sensing something- but approval wasn't quite it. You're quick to try to explain yourself away.
"I'm sorry about all the bad press and putting Becs-" he glances at you sharply and you flinch, "your daughter in this situation."
"And as her father , I act in her best interest, I should know what's best for her, and it's safe to say that you are not it." You take a sharp inhale, that felt like a punch to the gut leaving you feeling like you had all the air knocked out of you.
Ashamed wasn't big enough to describe what you were feeling. To be flat out rejected and dismissed, to be written off as nothing. It makes you mad but also like bursting into tears. You've never been good at disobeying authority, and you usually got choked up when trying to defend yourself to elder people-it was hard for you to speak up or treat them with anything other than respect. It takes everything in you to say the next words, breathing raggedly as you do.
"With all due respect, Sir, but you don't know me, and that isn't up to you, it's up to Beca."
"Don't get me wrong I respect every individual's choice and lifestyle but I won't let you corrupt her."
"And what are you getting at Sir?" you get out behind gritted teeth, steeling yourself against your emotions. I will not cry. I will not cry, I will not cry. You chant to yourself.
"Beca doesn't know. But I found a way to keep Jesse at bay and you'll have to play along."
"What do you mean-" You ask intrigued in spite of yourself.
"I want you to throw the competition." You find yourself blinking rapidly, thinking you misheard him.
"What, why?"
"Because I am asking you to. It would be in your best interest," he says far too calmly for your liking. His eyes so much like Beca's are cold and calculating, rubbing you the wrong way. You decide to play along for appearance's sake.
"I don't think I'll win anyway. Cynthia Rose is a much stronger singer." you reply, trying to come off casual.
"But you have the heart of the voters. And my daughter apparently... I didn't want to believe it. I still don't but we both know what's best for her." Really this man was something else, no wonder he approved of Jesse, they were like two sides of the same coin.
There's a part of you who wants to go off on him and scream about all the scars and childhood trauma he inflicted upon his daughter, wanting to call him out on his hypocrisy, and his being borderline narcissistic and why he had no right whatsoever to dictate his daughter's life. But you curve your first instinct and instead try to make him see reason.
"What being with Jesse? Are you really sure that is what she wants Sir? She doesn't want to lie about who she is anymore."
He completely ignores you and what you said.
"With all due respect Chlo, I think you're an amazing singer and you're truly talented but this show and your situation have marred her image long enough."
"I don't think-" he continues to talk over you, you feel the frustration boiling over.
"-You want to get far in this business. I can give it to you, all you have to do is just say the word."
You have never felt so insulted, he had said very little to target you specifically-but still while Jesse had done everything to tear you down, this had infinitely been far more painful. This time you couldn't dismiss what he said over jealousy. Cameron was deadly serious, he didn't like you one bit and he could never accept you for her. So much so that he was willing to buy you off to keep you from her.
"Thank you so very much, Sir. But I think I can do this myself thanks."
"You're admirable Chloe but let's face it, contestants, on this show only go so far."
"I know that, but I think I-"
"-It's all about the Coaches you see." Cameron tries to explain. "This show goes on and the talent... you people are dispensable, replaceable. People won't remember you . They remember her and what she does, but you... you've barely made a dent."
"There's no need to-"
"-You're still not understanding, let me speak plainly. Bad publicity is still publicity. You were useful to us when we could get the numbers for our show. You made sure we had the highest viewership since the show began. But afterwards... not so much. Afterwards you were just a leftover liability.
"So what are you just gonna wipe me away?"
"We don't have to do anything once the show is done, you'll just fade out into the distance like all those other reality contestants. Do you remember Jessica Sanchez, or whichever white guy with a guitar it was she competed against? Exactly. You'll need all the help you can get and I think you'll find you'd rather work with me, than against me, Miss Beale. I hold a lot of influence on this show and other labels out there... just something for you to think about."
You hear Hank and Beca coming back, and Cameron steps away. "Let me know of your decision. I'll be around if you want to find me."
He doesn't let you get a word in as he departs swiftly, leaving you standing on your own. You shudder a little as he goes over to Beca who was coming back to exchange a few words. She hugs him before he nods at the both of you as he leaves.
You stand there thinking about what he just said. You feel as if he just gave you an ultimatum.
"Chloe!" You're yanked out of your own thoughts as Beca almost tackles you with a hug carried away with her excitement. "We're good! We don't have to worry about Jesse anymore! He'll be leaving the show and he can never come back! My dad took care of it!" Her energy is at its maximum and she looks overjoyed, smiling that full unhindered smile you loved so much. She's practically jumping around babbling happily and you feel guilty that you're unable to join in, as all that Cameron just said echoes too loudly in your head,
"Gosh, I've been so afraid to trust him again but seeing him take charge and finally take my side about Jesse I feel like I can finally let him in again." She stops moving when she notices you aren't being receptive.
"Hey are you okay?" she slows, her smile dimming putting her hand out to cup at your cheek.
"Yeah I'm happy for you, Becs." You say summoning a smile, you're not sure from where."I'm just nervous about the finals that's all."
"Be happy for us! We have nothing to worry about now, well except the competition but you'll do well no matter what I guarantee it! We've got it made now baby!" she glances around before she kisses you, then hugs you to her tightly.
What were you supposed to do now?
Author's Note:
Woah give yourself a pat at the back for reaching the end cos I could hardly believe it myself when I saw the word count. So what do you think? Are you liking where we're headed? Where's the happy ending you say? Patience, my dears it'll be worth it.
Up Next: Results Night, Wedding rehearsal Beale family content and many more.
