Since she stepped into the room almost a second later she had clearly been waiting by the door. It was easy to presume that she would be the first one Arthur allowed in. Hunith entered slowly, looking a little wary. Arthur slowly rose up, tidying up his equipment, stepping away from Merlin.
Merlin looked up at his mother, who carefully sat down on the bed next to him, reaching out to wrap her arms around him.
"Sorry," Merlin said.
"Oh sweetheart, it's all right. I'm just glad you're all right."
She hugged Merlin to her, running a hand up and down his back. Merlin wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning against her. Arthur watched them for a moment, taking in each movement Merlin made, by himself, without anyone directing him. It seemed like little more than a miracle. Merlin had been in his catatonic state for nearly five months, that they knew of. It could have been longer, nobody knew when Merlin had retreated. The only ones who did were Merlin himself, and Cenred, who couldn't speak now, and never had when he had been alive. He quite happily talked about what he had done but when anyone had tried to lead the discussion round to Merlin's or any of his victim's welfare Cenred ceased talking.
The thought made Arthur sigh heavily. It caught Merlin's attention. He turned to look at Arthur. Arthur smiled at him.
"I'll leave it a little while, but my father will have to be told."
Hunith nodded, but Merlin bit down on his lip in apprehension.
"I won't have to make a statement or anything?"
Hunith tightened her grip on him. Merlin put his head down on her shoulder. Arthur crouched again and reaching out placed a hand on Merlin's thigh.
"Maybe but you probably won't need to say that much. Most of the evidence speaks for itself."
Cenred had been caught red-handed, almost literally. Arthur didn't mention his own issues. It didn't seem worth it. Merlin looked at him steady, Arthur noticed him shaking slightly.
"What about you though? I was witness to what you had to do."
Which proved that Merlin had, again, been very aware of what had been going on around him.
"That's why I left the hospital. I knew you were in trouble," Merlin said.
Arthur rubbed his hand up and down Merlin's denim clad thigh.
"It doesn't matter. I doubt that will change the result of it."
"But the hospital board have suspended you because of it."
"Don't worry about that. I'm getting on all right," Arthur said. Merlin looked faintly dubious at that statement. Arthur was fine, or at least he could certainly keep going on a day to day basis. He missed his work, his real work helping the patients, but he could manage. Considering what he had been through and what he had done he didn't blame anyone for their reactions. He had killed two people, for good reason, and he didn't regret it; which might be why people reacted warily.
"At least you're all right," Arthur said. "I'd best do it now. I'll call my father."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Uther, however, did not take much persuading when it came to leaving Merlin alone for a few days. Although, it couldn't be forever. Merlin fidgeted uncomfortably while Gwaine set up the tape recorder they had brought. Uther had no intention of forcing Merlin to come to the police station, instead he had gone to the hospital.
"Are you all right Merlin?" Uther asked gently.
Merlin jumped in the chair as Uther addressed him and he looked around nervously, watching Gwaine intently and then glancing back at Uther and then to Morgana sitting next to him, a closed file on the desk in front of her. Merlin glanced about again and then spoke and Uther didn't feel any surprise at what Merlin asked.
"Can Arthur sit with me?"
Merlin looked around, staring in the direction of the door of the consultation room, as if he could make Arthur appear by simply saying his name.
"Of course," Uther said. He had been surprised that Merlin hadn't asked before now, but he saw no reason to refuse. "Gwaine, can you fetch him?"
"Sure, this is working now," he said straightening the tape recorder up before he disappeared out of the door. Arthur had clearly been waiting in close proximity as within a minute he entered the room closing the door behind him.
"Is everything all right?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, Merlin just requested you to sit with him," Uther said setting the tape recorder playing as Arthur gathered up the chair from the far side of the room bringing it over to sit next to Merlin. While Arthur did that Uther carried on talking for the benefit of the tape recorder.
"Interview with Merlin Emrys. Conducting the interview DCI Uther Pendragon, also present DS Morgana Gorlois and Dr Arthur Pendragon as support for Mr Emrys. Arthur can you not speak during the interview."
"Okay," Arthur said glancing at Merlin, whose eyes rolled in his head. Reaching out Arthur slid his hand between Merlin's, which were clenched together. For a brief moment Merlin's grip relaxed to allow Arthur's hand in, then his grip tightened again.
"Okay, Merlin I am going to keep this fairly short, most of the evidence speaks for itself, I only need you to confirm some details, okay?"
Merlin blinked, staring across the table at Uther with wide eyes. Very slowly he nodded, staring at Uther with wide startled eyes. Arthur watched his father, realising that the older man carefully registered Merlin's behaviour and would act accordingly. Arthur knew his father had no intention of upsetting Merlin and also wondered, at the same time, how empathic his father might actually be. Arthur received a curt glance from his father before Uther turned his attention back to Merlin, which disconcerted Arthur to say the least.
"Okay, Merlin, I want you to look at some pictures, and I just need you to confirm that you recognise them and could tell me how you know them."
"Right," Merlin said, his hands tensing tightly on Arthur's.
With a curt nod Uther indicated to Morgana and she opened the file and produced a picture. Arthur didn't let his face change as he stared at the bald, flabby faced man. He felt Merlin rear back, and the tight grip on his hand loosened as Merlin frowned in confusion.
"I don't know him."
"That's all right Merlin," Uther said and Morgana whipped the photograph away. "For the record that was a photograph of PC Sherman during an identification line up. I apologise Merlin, but I wanted a control reaction before we start."
"Okay," Merlin said.
Since he wasn't allowed to talk Arthur settled for kicking his father on the shin. Uther looked at him sharply and Arthur mouthed the word 'dad' with a reproaching expression.
"Dr Pendragon I know I advised you not to talk but if you have something to say regarding Merlin's welfare then you are welcome to comment."
"As I am not his psychiatrist anymore that is technically a difficult area, however as his friend and someone who has watched you work for my entire life I do find that somewhat strange. Merlin is not a suspect so why do you feel the need to try and catch him out?"
"I'm not, however, some people may argue that during his confinement that perhaps he was not aware of his surroundings due to his catatonic state."
"I was not catatonic when I was kidnapped," Merlin murmured.
"Very well, for the record I am showing photograph A341 to Mr Emrys."
Merlin peered forward, his hands tensing again. Arthur gritted his teeth as Merlin's nails dug into his skin. He concentrated on Merlin, seeing him swallow heavily, his eyes widening and losing focus for a moment before they realigned on the photograph of Cenred. Merlin slowly nodded, as if to himself, just for a moment, before he spoke.
"I know him. He came into the shop where I worked, regularly. Then I saw him on the way home on the night I was kidnapped, he stood by a van and had the hood open, as if he had broken down. He asked me for help and I stopped to talk to him and the next moment I remember being grabbed and..." Merlin stumbled to a halt and then after a shuddering breath found his voice again. "... I couldn't breath and it went dark and when I woke up..."
Merlin halted again and Uther put his fingertips on the edge of the photograph to ease it away from the centre of the table. Morgana slipped it back into the file and pushed another photograph out.
"That's good, thank you Merlin." Uther said, he put his hand over the photograph of Morgause, covering her face, although around the edges of the shot there were curls of blonde hair that gave away her identity.
"Merlin, where were you, when you woke up," Morgana asked.
"The cellar, I could see the stove thing." Merlin sent a sidelong look at Arthur. Arthur smiled and let his hand be clenched in the vice of Merlin's fists.
"And I couldn't lift my head, I thought it was just because I felt sick but I realised there was something around my neck and it was attached to something."
One of Merlin's hands left Arthur's and rubbed around his throat.
"It was tied to something but as I turned my head a realised someone was lying on it. Jason was lying on it."
"Was he still alive Merlin?" Uther asked.
Merlin nodded. "He was unconscious. Cenred was watching. Jason had moved to try and choke me, he tried to kill me but he couldn't put enough pressure on. Cenred did the same to him and waited for him to wake up. He made me sit up and watch what he did, and he told me he would do the same to me."
Once he had started talking Merlin couldn't seem to stop. No one else here had seen it. Cenred had enjoyed explaining it, and Uther had heard every second of it from his lips. However, this time he listened far more intently. Merlin had survived the ordeal, he had suffered it and he, quite clearly, didn't enjoy what he was saying, but something inside him appeared to feel the obligation to say it.
"I closed my eyes. If I didn't watch then he wouldn't... I don't know what I thought. We couldn't stop him, and he told me he would do the same to me. I tried not to watch but, then he got mad, because I wouldn't look. He burnt Jason, he lit the stove and heated a poker and he really started to hurt him."
Merlin whimpered and stopped, gasping for breath. Uther nearly reached for the tape recorder to shut it off and pause the interview but as he met Arthur's gaze he glared at his father, ordering him not to stop. Arthur knew when Merlin really reached that point.
"He couldn't stop screaming and Cenred said that if I didn't watch he'd carry on, so I watched. I watched what he did, and I just sat there, and waited, because that was what he was doing to do to me. It was what he did do to me."
Merlin gasped through the sentences, choking to a halt.
"Thank you Merlin," Uther said, ending that section of the conversation. They didn't need to hear any more. Uther lifted his hand off the photograph and pushed the shot of Morgause, taken from the pictures that Vivian had found during their hunt for Merlin and Arthur.
"Can you identify this woman?"
Merlin nodded, and then glanced at the tape recorder, seeming to remember that it was there.
"Yes, I didn't know her name until recently but I'd seen her before."
"And where was this?"
"Where I was held, by Cenred."
"Did you see her often?" Morgana asked.
"No," Merlin said, shaking his head. "Just a handful of times, but she was there more than that. I knew she was."
"How did you know?" Uther asked.
"There was a sense of something. Cenred seemed different." Merlin paused, biting down on his lower lip and drawing it into his mouth as he thought. His hands tightened again and he inclined towards Arthur slightly.
"He seemed more intense. As if there was greater purpose to what he did... to us..."
Merlin tailed off as there was a gentle tap on the door and Gwaine popped his head through.
"Sorry Sir, Bayard's here."
Uther nodded and Gwaine disappeared. Arthur watched his father reach out to stop the tape recorder.
"Interview suspended at," Uther looked at his watch. "Two fourteen pm. Excuse me a moment." HoHHH
The moment Uther left the room Merlin turned to Arthur.
"What's going on?" he hissed. His hands remained tight on Arthur's and Arthur put his other hand on one of Merlin's forearms.
"Bayard is a DCS from another station, he was present at my interview, he might just want to ask you something."
Merlin nodded, looking even more wide eyed as Uther returned with Bayard in tow and at a curt nod Morgana stood up and walked out. Uther sat back down with Bayard by his side. Merlin eyed them both nervously and both policemen regarded him sympathetically.
"Merlin, this is DCS Bayard. He's been involved in the investigation when you and Arthur were kidnapped together. So there are a few things you need to confirm for us regarding that."
"Okay," Merlin said.
The two officers glanced at each other and then Uther reached over to turn the tape recorder on.
"Interview resumed at two nineteen pm, DS Gorlois replaced by DCS Bayard. Merlin has confirmed the identities of his two captors."
"Fine," Bayard said. "Merlin, I need to ask, were you aware of the events while you and Arthur were held prisoner by Cenred and Morgause."
"Yes, I was. I was aware of everything, all the time."
Bayard frowned as he heard that, looking mildly confused but he recovered after a moment and carried on talking.
"Were you removed from here, the hospital, or did you leave on your own?"
"On my own. I went out of the fire door and went outside. Then I waited."
"For what?" Bayard asked.
Merlin frowned, looking confused at the question. "I'm not sure, I just knew to wait."
That caused Bayard to frown, and Arthur felt a mild surge of anxiety. There were things about what had happened that they would struggle to explain. It would be better if they didn't have to. Fortunately, Bayard glanced at Uther, who, with a slight shake of his head, indicated that Bayard shouldn't continue with that line of enquiry.
"And when they had you captive, you were aware of what happened?"
Merlin nodded, "Arthur got us out, he fought with Cenred, and then with Morgause, and then we left the building and walked down the road, until someone found us."
It was a very summarised version of events but Arthur knew, he could sense, neither officer had any desire to push Merlin too hard for information. If he confirmed the basic facts they would be happy to leave the situation alone. Arthur had told the story in detail, although he had carefully edited sections of it. And Cenred had happily confirmed most of the forensic evidence they found on Merlin, the corpses and the farmhouse.
"Merlin, this picture was taken a few months before you were kidnapped by Cenred, do you remember a corporate function that you worked, for a building company, Carpenters?"
Merlin frowned. "Not really, I didn't pay much attention to who ran them, I just turned up at the right place and handed out drinks and nibbles."
"This one was at the Station Hotel, in June of last year."
Merlin shrugged, looking up his expression veered onto embarrassment. "I did a lot of them there. The catering company had a contract at that hotel, most of the functions were there. I don't remember her, at any of them."
Bayard nodded and then looked at Uther.
"I don't really have any further questions." He turned to address Merlin. "Most of the facts are not really in contention. We know what happened to you, Cenred confessed to that and Arthur gave a concise version of the second kidnapping."
Merlin nodded slowly, glancing around at the three people with him, his hands still clenched on Arthur's.
"Okay."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
"That's not really an answer Merlin," Nimueh said. "For the last five days all you have said is okay when I ask you how you are."
"But I am okay," Merlin said. "I'm moving around, I'm here, I'm okay."
He watched her nod and looked down at her pad, flipping through pages, of which were clearly the previous notes she had made.
"So I'll accept that for a moment. Were you okay when you were catatonic. Did you feel okay, being like that?"
"You don't think it was," Merlin said.
"Not by basic standards, but that wasn't what I asked. Did that feel right for you, at the time?"
"I guess." Merlin turned and looked out of the window. There were only a few leaves now clinging to the trees. Autumn had almost passed by without him even realising. Nimueh paused, she was getting nowhere with Merlin, unless of course she overcame one obstacle, which meant being very direct.
"Merlin I know you don't actually want to talk to me. You would much prefer that Arthur was your psychiatrist."
"Why won't the hospital reinstate him?"
"When they do, and I don't doubt that they will, given enough time and patience, considering Arthur is the best of us by far, I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't take you as a patient now."
"Why not?" Merlin asked in concern. Nimueh gave him a steady look.
"Because, and he will be the first to admit it, he is far too emotionally involved now. It's an effect of what happened, and what might happen beyond that. He's undergoing treatment now as well, with Gaius. It would not be professional to now treat you. And he asked me to take your case."
"Oh," Merlin said, sounding slightly irritated. "He didn't tell me."
"Again he probably feels even that wouldn't be professional. He is doing what he thinks is best for you."
"Surely I should be the judge of that."
Nimueh smiled at him. "Perhaps, but most people around you now are quite in the habit of deciding things for you."
Merlin pouted, his head tilting to one side. Nimueh watched carefully, seeing a clearer gesture that Merlin had performed when catatonic. It seemed to her to be an indication that he was actually listening to what was being said.
Nimueh knew instinctively that Merlin didn't want to talk about what happened. At least not yet. So instead, Nimueh diverted them towards another subject.
"You must be looking forward to going home."
Merlin frowned, "home?"
She listened to the tone of his voice, hearing the nervous apprehension in it.
"Yes, I would, all things considered, be prepared to recommend you move to an outpatient status. Don't you want to go home?"
Merlin screwed up his face and rubbed his left shin with his hand, his fingers eventually clenching on the material of his jeans, his entire figure slowly hunching up and curling in on itself.
"I hadn't thought about it."
"There is perhaps no reason to rush," Nimueh said. "But obviously in some way things are improving for you. At some point you will have to get out into the world. Quite frankly, I think perhaps considering it sooner rather than later might be a good idea."
"I don't know. I'm used to it here."
"That is what I mean. Maybe thinking about it, perhaps short spaces of time out, just to get used to it," she suggested and then smirked wryly. "I know I hate mentioning it before December, but I'll make an exception this time. For you probably Christmas is only a few weeks away. Perhaps that might be a good time to consider it."
Merlin released the grip he had on his jeans and smoothed the material. He bit down on his lip and considered the idea of leaving the safe haven the hospital provided as Nimueh added.
"No doubt your mother will want that."
