Chapter 22! Yay! Now obviously for those of you who've made it this far, you see the direction this is headed and why this story is rated M. I wanted to draw the parallel and note that for the way the mating bond process is explained, the characters are moving slow for true mates and highlight another reason I feel that Edward and Bella's whole dynamic was not that of true mates. Fear not, she won't be staying with Edward permanently. There's a good chance that I am making it a bit too sexually charged for the technical beginning, but what the hell? Hopefully you guys enjoy it and continue reading. I want to stretch the timeline where I can also because you figure eclipse takes place from around March/April to May for graduation, and then Bella gets married to Edward around August in Breaking Dawn. Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated and helps me to pump out the story faster!

I don't own Twilight- only my OC's!

Chapter 22

I don't remember much. It was hard to see through the blood. It was everywhere. All around me there was screaming, some glass breaking, and there was something on top of me. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. All I could see was red. It was hot and sticky. And his face, that scent so close to me. The thing I tried so hard to forget before everything fell apart. It was the only thing that reminded me that real monsters were people.

"Lily… Lily hey." A voice. Not his voice. But someone's. Where was it coming from? I gasped awake and pushed whomever it was away. My brain didn't register anything at first. Then everything came into a blurry sort of focus and I realized where I was. I was in Forks. Jasper was here. He would keep me safe.

"Jasper? Oh god, I'm-" I blinked back tears.

"No apologies. It'll all be okay. Wherever you were, you listen to me: you aren't there anymore. You're here with me and I love you." His cool lips pressed against my forehead. "You don't have to talk about it either. I'm here. Whatever you need from me." I leaned into him.

"Make me forget. Tell me it wasn't real. Just… lie to me, okay?" Jasper stared at me, then nodded. His lips were on mine again. This kiss wasn't sexual- it was more innocent and perhaps a bit melancholy. It was through this kiss that I understood the depths of the horrors he had faced. He still tasted of cinnamon, and in this moment was the greatest comfort.

"I can't make you forget for long, but I hope that will be enough for you to rest again for now."

I must've fallen back asleep soon after that, because the next thing I knew, it was morning and Jasper had left me a note. He'd mentioned that he was going hunting and the rest of the family would be away from the house; whenever I was up and ready to come over I was welcome. Given the timestamp of the letter being at 6:30 in the morning and it now being just past 10, I figured there was no harm in heading over, but I shot him a quick text letting him know. Uncle Charlie was in the kitchen sipping coffee again.

"Are you and Bella going to do some shopping today? She mentioned it to me earlier." I blinked.

"There's a good chance I forgot about that yes. Too many things have become a blur lately." Bella appeared beside her father. She shot me a grateful look.

"Are you ready to go Lily? We don't want to get there too late; since it's Sunday some of those stores close early."

"Yeah, just let me grab my coat and we can head out."

"Hold it, you two. Now, this isn't some elaborate ruse to go see that Cullen boy, is it?" Uncle Charlie asked with a frown. I laughed.

"Do you really think Bella would recruit me in any hair brained schemes like that? If that were the case she'd find something more elaborate than shopping- she'd lie and say she was going to the reservation instead." I smirked. "As it stands though, we both need something different. Gotta keep the boys on their toes after all, which means we must stoop to the inevitable level of vanity."

We had promised him that we would be safe, have fun, and be back by 8pm. Since Bella had school in the morning, he didn't want us staying out too late. I doubted that would be a real issue since I hated staying out past the time I could see very well. There was more wildlife and less lights than the city had. Once we finished goodbyes, we headed out. Bella spoke up not long after we had pulled out of the driveway.

"Thanks for that back there."

"So what's the game plan exactly?" I questioned.

"Alice and I are actually shopping today. Edward and the others are hunting still last I knew. That means you and Jasper will have the house to yourself. Edward has been really weird since last night. You two didn't…. I mean…. " Bella's face got bright red. I glanced her way and contemplated if I should be honest.

"No. We did not. Too worried about the bed breaking."

"Oh!" She squeaked. "And are you, um, nervous about today at all?"

"Only for his poor bed." I grinned, laughing. "No, all joking aside though, I doubt it'll be a sexcapade day and even if it were, I wouldn't be talking to you about it. I'm dropping you off at their house though right?"

"Right." Bella affirmed, brushing her hair back slightly. She was far too embarrassed to continue speaking for the rest of the trip. We pulled into the driveway at last, and Alice waved us over.

"Hi Lily! You and Jasper will have the house to yourselves today until about eight or so. Since we start school again in the morning, we have to keep the façade and Charlie will want you both back, even though he will be called out for something. Oh! There's some stuff waiting in Jasper's room for you by the way. I found some really cute things that I think you will enjoy. They're in two shopping bags. You'll want to take them home. He's waiting for you inside."

"Thank you. I'm both excited and scared to see what you've chosen. Although, you seem to have amazing style, so I'm not too concerned." Alice's laugh sounded like bells.

"Oh, you'll love them! Anyway, we will see you later. I hope you can come with us next time. Unlike your cousin, you seem to enjoy shopping." Bella huffed beside Alice.

"I don't hate it! I just… don't necessarily enjoy it." She grumbled. I waved them off and headed inside. Jasper called out from the kitchen. I stepped in, to find him dusting powdered sugar lightly on French toast. He had a mug of coffee, a side of two bacon strips, a bowl of fresh fruit with whipped cream, and a small side of hash browns artfully displayed around it. Everything smelled fantastic as well.

"And this is…?" I questioned, gesturing to the lovely assortment in front of me.

"Something nice for you. You need to actually eat food and last night you had mentioned your disappointment with French toast. I hope you don't mind eating breakfast food again."

"Not at all! I will never tire of it. I may even still try to eat it when I am no longer human." I smiled. "Thank you!"

"I don't recommend the food thing. Putting it nicely, it's like eating dirt. But I am glad you're content with this." He smiled and sat down beside me while I ate. "So I was thinking. Once you're finished, we can try out the hot tub? Alice has a suit for you. No pressure though." I smirked.

"Or we could always ditch those. When you've done some modeling, you tend to be desensitized to nudity. Well, that and studying art history. Though I have to wonder, if your motives are just relaxing?" I teased. Jasper's laugh filled the air, louder than normal.

"It's meant to be a surprise. I say no pressure because I truly want to make you relax and have a good day. Many argue sex is a fantastic way to relax, but there are other methods for humans. Although, if you'd rather be nude I can't stop your or lie and say I'd mind." He shrugged.

"The feeling is mutual. Though in all honestly I would hope for a hot tub we'd have suits on. Not the best place for heating things up unless you want the human to pass out."

"Fair enough. Shall we then?"

It was right outside his bedroom from what I knew, which meant also that I would see his room for the first time. I was a little nervous and had no idea what to expect. I mean, my room had many projects in various stages of completion, random objects strewn about, and crafting supplies mixed in with occasional books. He led me up the stairs and went to the far left of the house; stopping at a door to the right at the end of the hall. Stepping into it, I marveled at the bookshelves lining the walls. Jasper had a black leather chaise lounge with a reading lamp in one corner, and a California king bed in the center of the right wall. He also had a large flat screen across on the opposite wall. Everything was neat and organized. I didn't dare ask about his closet. The room was about twice the size of mine, and everything was tidy. The only thing out of place was a bag in the middle with a note from Alice. She had bags within bags. The one at the top said to open for the hot tub.

"I'll meet you out there in a few minutes; give you a chance to change in peace." Jasper said.

"What about your shirt and pants?"

"I don't think I'm ready for you to see all my battle scars… or be distracted by my body for other reasons."

"I think you're deflecting so you don't have to get distracted by me." I shook my head. "A Southerner to the core."

"Or just a gentleman." Jasper winked.

Moments later I stepped out into the frigid air, trying not to shiver. It was a stark contrast to the room's warmth, or even Jasper's skin. He was lounging with his head back; eyes closed, and lips parted slightly. You'd think in that moment he could be immortalized in a painting of an angel. Lucifer himself would've been jealous. I knew he was are of me, and his slight smile was enough.

"I know you like what you see, but shouldn't you get in here before you turn into a popsicle?" He teased. I needed no more time to take him up on the offer. "There now, let me warm you up." He purred in my ear. The warming consisted mainly of him brushing his hands up and down my arms while setting me atop his lap.

"You're so bad! And warm, but more of a comfortable warm. It's nice."

"So you're not…" Jasper glanced away as I took him in.

"Not….?"

"Repulsed or afraid? Now that you see them more closely and just how many there are?"

"Surely you can read into my emotions and know that isn't how I see you. They're a map that tells your story. If anything, yes they do give off a warning of danger, but mostly they garner my respect. Besides, we all have our stories. Hell, I was stabbed. I have scars from where I didn't know how to cope with situations properly, ones from the bullies at the school playground, some from clumsiness… and so the list goes on. They don't define who we are necessarily, but they reflect a piece of us existing in the world. They hold memories." Jasper was quiet for a moment.

"I've never had someone be so accepting. Even other vampires tend to steer clear of me, but you…"

"Not even Alice?" I wondered aloud.

"She was the most accepting outside of you, but occasionally she'd still flinch away now and then. It was… painful." I nodded and brought my hand to his face. Words weren't needed; we both understood. He ghosted his fingers up and down my waist, and we relaxed for a while.

"Let me know if you start feeling light headed or you'd like to get out." Jasper murmured, kissing my temple.

We stayed in there enjoying the silence, each other's presence, and the scenery. Living the big city life often made one forget about how beautiful and vast the world could be. Being with Jasper chased some of the darkness away that I was unable to face head on by myself. A part of me wondered if that was fair of me to do to him. Or if we'd hurt each other in the end. He made me feel safe; which is something I hadn't felt in a long time. Even though I was young when my mother passed and I had Uncle Brian, I learned very early on that not everyone is kind to you and the world isn't on your side. Eventually, he pulled me back from my thought by shifting around. My hands had unconsciously traced his body and were wresting just outside the waistband of his shorts. He cleared his throat.

"I think we should probably get out. I'll have a towel ready for you." He gently removed me and was back before I could make sense of the world around me. Stupid vampire speed.

"Thanks." I took the towel and stepped out. He quickly helped me get inside and opened a door for me. It lead to a very nice bathroom, where another bag was waiting for me. Alice seemed to enjoy this game. I wondered how many other bags she had hidden for me. Inside, there was a pair of soft shorts, a sports bra (ironically a brand I loved; they were too comfy), and a bottle of lotion with a note saying to thank her later; Jasper would know what to do. Cryptic, and something that could go either way, but it was interesting. Jasper was in the middle of the bed when I emerged, looking quite comfortable.

"Alice has no idea what she's done." I stated, holding out the lotion.

"Trust me when I say she probably does. I can't believe she found it so soon though." He grabbed it gently from my hand. "The outfit choice will make this much easier too." His eyes skimmed over what I had on.

"What are you d-…?" I couldn't finish my question. He had me facing the tv away from him, sitting cross legged on his bed.

"Relax and enjoy. Bella said you liked horror films, but those aren't all that romantic, so she mentioned your fondness of the Harry Potter series."

"I'm guessing you prefer Westerns then?" I teased.

"Most things with History, but Alice made me watch several Rom Coms… Eventually, you learn to tolerate them." He laughed. "Now focus on the movie, not what I do to you." He began to rub the lotion in his palms, then started rubbing soothing pressure on my neck.

"Mmmmm… Oh fuck, Jasper. That is perfect." I closed my eyes in bliss. He was hitting all the right spots with his fingers and applying just the right amount of pressure. I'll admit, it was hard to focus on the movie because I just wanted to melt.

"Not too much pressure? You sure have a lot of built up tension, and I don't wanna hurt you."

"Just the right amount actually. You're really good at this. Must've had a lot of practice. Oh shit! Jasper, check out the screen! There's Edward's doppelgänger!" His eyes followed the screen.

"If he were human and British; you'd be correct. Have a thing for Brit's do ya?" His Southern drawl came out thicker.

"I'm starting to have more of a thing for Texan's actually." I shrugged as much as I was able to. "And a certain Texan in particular, changed my mind. I'm literally putty in his hands."

"Oh? And do I know this Texan?" He was blowing right in my ear. This man wanted to keep the teasing going.

"Maybe… He currently has his hands on me and makes me want to flip him on this bed and pin him." Jasper laughed.

"Sounds hot." He mused. "But- that's only if I don't pin you first!"

Jasper had my hands above my head in one deft motion. He only needed one hand to grip them in place; his other was to the left of my body to support his weight. Jasper's strong thighs held me stock still between them, lighting squeezing my legs where they touched. Honey blonde waves fell forward slightly. His gaze held mine for only a moment before his lips descended upon mine softly. The moment I attempted to deepen the kiss, he nipped my bottom lip in warning. I tried again, and this time he pulled away completely. I mock glared at him.

"No cheating. I call the shots today. And I intend to give you exactly what you need." He whispered the last bit huskily in my ear.

My pulse quickened as his lips ghosted over my neck seductively, and I felt him smirk against my collarbone. His tongue swept at the hollow. With Jasper's body against mine like this, he felt warmer somehow. Come to think of it, he had felt warmer all day. My brain struggled to think coherently. I wanted him- no, I needed him. The world had disappeared again and it was as though we weren't even separate people anymore. All too soon, he ended things again. I swear he was always the one pulling back. Pushing his hair out of his face, Jasper wore a brilliant smile, and gestured for me to sit back up.

"I like the view from here. You'll just have to lay by me or sit there. Can't call all the shots forever." I shrugged. Jasper sighed and flopped down beside me.

"Fine. I guess this is a good way to finish the movie."

"Because it's such torture for you to lay here with me, yeah?"

"Actually it is." He mused. "But more for the fact that I want to focus on making you feel good outside of the realm of kissing. Doing things for you, getting a better feel for you as a whole, and spending real time with you outside of just physically is important and makes me happy. You need to know that I want you for more than just sex or because I'm tied to you- that you're someone I truly love, not someone I automatically own just because we have this connection. But, I am still a man, and I have eyes. So, yes, torture." Jasper explained.

"It might be better if I was wearing a shirt. I don't think Alice thought too far ahead on that."

"More like she anticipated this going differently I'm sure. I can give you one of mine if you'd like?" My eyes lit up and I nodded. He paused the movie and led me to his closet. It was like a shopping mall in here!

"Alice thinks we need a lot of variety. Some are keepsakes though." He shrugged.

"Do you ever wear the same outfit twice?"

"Not if she has her say. With that said, pick out anything you'd like." I chose a simple black shirt. It was comfortable and fit loosely.

"What is it with women loving to steal our clothes?" Jasper shook his head.

"Statistically, they're more comfortable and have pockets. Side note, what do you think?" I struck a dramatic pose. Jasper immediately started laughing. It was infectious, and soon I joined him.

This was nice. He did an amazing job of making me feel safe and wanted. I just hoped it would always be this simple between us.