Chapter 9: Ravioli. Ravioli. Give me the formuoli.

Gendo POV

How fortunate. How serendipitous. How lucky. How great. How excellent.
It's all ready now. It's all coming along just fine.
The device I've pored my life's work into perfecting to perfection, at the ready.

It took me years of forbearance towards the very bane of my existence, giving him my valuable attention which he didn't deserve in the slightest.
I never even wanted a son. Or any children for that matter.
And as that wretched and loathsome little piece of filth got older, my beloved wife begun to pay him more and more heed and her much more pertinent husband less and less.

How devilishly cruel of you Yui? To think you could be so callous and unreasonable as to deny me the undivided love and affection that was your due for my beyond selfless intervention for rescuing you from your low life of poverty and need.
I guess not even you can be fully trusted.

Shinji. It hurts me to say your name. It hurts me to think about you. Your feeble attempts to impress me leave me only loathing you more.
Even when you were in that robot, fighting off those bothersome Angels helping to dutifully further my plans, the one thing I was thinking was how much pleasure it would give me to kill you.

Well I won't make the same mistake twice. Because this time when my Yui is rightfully returned to me as is my due recompense for this disgustful charade I've endured long enough, you will fortunately not be here to witness the marvel. My beautiful masterful scheme has ensured that you have no place in my new world which will soon come into fruition.

Ignorance will serve you best, Shinji. My mortal enemy who I can never bring myself to ever forgive in spite of my saintly benevolence which brought me to my throne of prominence from which I can never be unseated.
Evidence? Human rights? Child welfare services?

They cannot compare to my impregnable defences of Censorship, Spin and my favourite weapon of all.
Good old-fashioned blackmail.
No sensible soul needs fact when they can look upon my wonderful and artful mirage of fake news.
It would take an utter idiot to believe otherwise.

And as for the foolish rebels hiding in that equally superfluous rebel base of theirs which I will soon quash with absolute impunity. They are no threat to me.
I will soon crush them like the vermin they are as yet another demonstration of my superiority and my name will be known across the face of the Earth itself as the most fearsome and reputable title a mortal man could hope to possess.

But I will be no mere mortal in the new and absolute utopia I will soon bring about.
The grand empires dictators of the past will pale in comparison to my glorious kingdom on which the sun will never truly set.

And Yui will be there to witness it all alongside me.

It's finally finished.

Each and every fragment of the bespoken ancient machine scatted around the dead seas finally reassembled to perfection.
It wouldn't have been possible for my team of excavators and archaeologists to head to such a dangerous area with those bothersome Angels about, but my stupid little boy and my equally clueless little "daughter" (I retch when I'm forced to refer to her in this manner) fell right into my lap and did all my dirty work for me.

The fantastical invention whose name and inventor the tides of time obscured.

It matters not.

Its sitting in the lowest floor below even the floor where I keep my handy spare Rei's in case this one is once again incompetent enough to fail her task.
The life giving machinery that can at the flick of a switch resurrect any living being possessed of a soul which at this point in evolution is of course, humans.
Homo sapiens as the Ancients called them.

There is but one catch. The catch in this instance however very beneficial to me.
Newton's law of physics states that you can get nothing for nothing.
And this alchemical wonder is no different.

They say that the key to life, is love. What nonsense.
Or to be more precise a sacrifice is required.
Two in fact.

It is necessary that two human or human-like sapient beings are fed into the two sides of the device, which resembles from a distance, a weighting scale with each side appearing more like coffins than scales into which the two necessary tributes demanded of the ritual be inserted.
A similarly shaped hatch in the large rectangular centre provides the insertion point for the intended benefactory of the offering requiring the corpse of the soon to be returned deceased. Of which I have of course kept carefully preserved for this very day owing to the reason why I ordered Yui to be buried in a very personal location.

Its spectacular what a few bottles of vinegar and salt can do in the art of preservation. The Egyptians may have been misguided fools but useful ones.

There are but three further rules for the two unfortunate souls who will serve as fodder to the fortunate third.
The first is that the two must be of blood relation to the soon to be resurrected.
Blood being thicker than water and all that rabble from the crazed but useful philosophers whose work made this possible.

The second rule. The two have a loving or at the very least amorous relationship with one another so that their "love energy" as the ancient manuscript put it could be harvested for the calling of the deceased's soul back into the body.

The third rule. The 72 hour rule. The true reason behind the rigor mortis period in which a dead body stiffens then precedes to loosen 72 hours after the initial outset of death as its soul gathers from its body the entirety of its life essence then precedes to depart into whatever mysterious place it is that souls go. In my Yui's bothersome case, the inside of my son's foolish EVA that taunts me with its very presence.
It simply means that while my so called "son" and "adoptive daughter" cannot be alive for the ritual to take effect as the soul's attachment to its body is too strong while in such a state, after 72 hours it will be useless as their souls which are the true ingredients necessary will have escaped into the unreachable great unknown which I have no interest in finding out more about.

My ingenuity is truly legendary. My son cannot resist the allure of my adoptive daughter's resemblance to his late mother nor her submissiveness and ability to hold a talk without punching him in the face.

It pleases me that my son's quick tempered redheaded roommate is so apt at dishing him out these vicious blows without me having to lift a finger.
I can't have my good image tarnished as a bad father now can I when I'm about to gain complete control of the Earth?
Punch him hard Asuka. And know that I approve every last act of your insensate cruelty in your rough handling of my greatest adversity and thorn in my side.

Were my position of authority not so precarious I would have liked to do the same myself.

You've put him in a perfect position of submission and total openness.
The perfect place where he can do naught but regard my Rei with utmost affection having only felt the miserable side of what a loving relationship could be.
Thinking she will be his grand salvation and path to final happiness when in fact, he is walking straight into the trap I have set just for him and her.

I have prepared for my undeserving little runts, a delicious dinner at a beautiful banqueting table decorated with satin cloth.
I have laid upon it all manner of delicacies that I know are enough to bring Shinji to tears of joy.

The ravioli pasta which I know both my "children" to crave like crazy has been carefully positioned to take central stage and I have added my own blend of recipe to this mouth-watering gourmet treasure.
Ketchup? Chilli sauce? Wasabi?

All boring and not the nourishing meal my family needs in this special dinner party of which I am their gracious host and chaperone.
Enjoy the taste of concentrated cyanide, Shinji and Rei?

No?
Well just in case, I've also added an extra layer of hydrochloric bleach.
And if those marvellous seasonings were not adequate enough to tickle your taste buds, I do sincerely apologize.
For the colourless benzene is my ace in the hole which I took care to add an extra generous helping off.

Now this is what I call a fitting five star dish for my faithful children.
One bite will surely knock you off your feet, figuratively and literally.

It will be a truly spectacular event.
I will hardly have to say a word. A simple mention of how I fully and completely approve of their relationship to go further and my sincere wishes for them both to be comfortable in each other's company will more than set the scene.
The sweet scent of the Italian smorgasbord will take care of the rest.

Shinji cannot resist a friendly meeting with his father, I and it will be no different this time.
Nor can he resist the opportunity to see once more the woman of his dreams that I specially found for him out of the kindness of my heart for both him, and my late wife Yui who was so arrogant to believe she would be happier without me.

The shame!

It will be greatly gratifying to see the pain in their final moments as my meal brings them literally to another world.
The mixture of poisons I concocted indecipherable to even the greatest experts in any chemical test. Thank you Yui for enlightening me with your academical genius. Really I thank you.

All too easy to claim they had a heart attack.
Even better that because of the deliberately unsettling appearance I gifted upon my Rei, no one will even care what happened to her.
Dr Akagi certainly will be glad to have her gone and as will I.

My final blessings as they depart my kingdom in which they have no place to them shall be. "I never loved you".
Oh the relief that confession shall provide to me at long last.

And if they dare refuse my generous proposal?

No matter.

They will have to be dragged to the sweetest soiree kicking and screaming with a bullet in their leg but the sight of each other and the ravioli will surely bring them back to their senses.
I will but have to feign ignorance at the rough handling of my guards and all will be forgiven.

In my infinite wisdom I passed the law that refusal of duty or to show up when called in my corporation could be dealt with through any matter of nonfatal restraint.
Like how the thief takers of Sherlock Holmes day were permitted to shoot the lock from doors and nail escaping convicts with a wounding shot or a bold tackle. It is the rule that the children come to their commander when they are called after all and while I can't just have them killed on the spot, there is no rule forbidding a forceful restraint to ensure their arrival.

Love you Ravioli Shinji?
As do I.
Ravioli, Ravioli. Give me the formuoli.

You are the final ingredient of the formula that will help reunite me with my Yui. You and your beloved Rei, whose union with you it disgusts me to witness but which I have borne for the sake of Yui's eventual return that requires it.
Be pleased that you served one useful purpose in your pointless existence which cost me nothing but valuable time and attention.

Be grateful that this is your opportunity to atone for your unforgivable sin that you committed upon me.
The sin of stealing my beloved wife's attention all to yourself with your arrogance and hubris.
You deserve no love Shinji and Rei.
And even in your final moments, I will give you none.

I will enjoy hearing your final gasps for my mercy of which of course I have none that I am willing to give.

Now come to me son for the last time.
Come to your generous and giving father for the luxurious union party he has set for the joining of your heart with Rei's.
Let your hearts and your souls be joined together for the return of the flawless woman whose affection you remorselessly stole away from me for yourselves.

And know that this time when I have you in my grip once again, I will not make it so easy for you to escape once more Yui.
I will not be so careless, so forgiving, so lenient of your own share of responsibility in this mess that you've forced your attentive husband into.
You too, can expect a severe punishment. Resign yourself to my wrath for it is but a small price to pay for your second chance at life that you alone will be given.

Why don't characters just try to find a second wife/husband when their first one passes away? It beats trying to destroy the world in the process.
That is a legitimate question.
There are 6 billion human beings on the earth and that's a lot. If you look long and hard enough you are bound to find someone as good if not better than the spouse you've lost.
This is a question that bugs me many times when I watch shows.
If your first relationship doesn't work, you can always try again with another person.

If you look at the aspects that you liked about your first significant other, you will find an uncountable number of others who at least share some of those. You like musicians? There are a lot of musicians.
How about a quiet bookish introvert? Head to the library and you're in heaven.
Next time a character feels like destroying the Earth because they'll "never find love again" they should just try and find someone else.
It's what a normal person would do. And only focusing on one person who you love blinds you to the other people who may already be trying to win your affection and may well be a better match for you.

But anyway. Thanks for reading and your kind reviews. Hopefully I will see you next time.
Bye!