He keeps living and learning and pulling his emotions into a tight ball within him. It is knotted tightly around his heart and he thinks he can feel it burning through his skin, sometimes. Allowing it out for martial arts lessons alleviates the pressure for now, but someday it will explode out of him. It has become obvious he is in the household of the leader of the Wo Hop To Triad. Working helps him avoid thinking about this aspect of his reality.

Before he had been a perfectionist, he is more than that now. He no longer practices till he gets things right, he now practices till he stops getting them wrong. A mistake during a kata means he will repeat it till he can do it perfectly for hours without stopping. A mistake in calligraphy and he practices till his hands tremble and he sees kanji in his sleep. A mistake in his lessons and he will reread his books till he can quote them. Fon is not yet four and he might have some form of obsessive compulsive disorder.

His sibling is to be born soon. As his excitement builds, so does the burning in his chest. His perfectionism actually helps somewhat. Satisfaction after hours of practice seems to lessen the ache. He's not sure what that says about him, but it seems unimportant. His mother is soon bedridden. She seems happy enough to see him, and his joy about have a sibling pleases her. She hasn't said a word about a father, and he doesn't ask. He cannot bring himself to care about someone who has never visited, or shown himself.

As time passes, martial arts lessons get harder. Every style they teach him is drilled to muscle memory. At this point, he has seven fully mastered and is currently working on five more. He has developed katas that pull from all of them, to keep everything fresh in his mind. It ensures that he never has to waste time thinking during a spar, and just uses the most effective method available. There is something unreal about this world, that someone as young as he is capable of these things. But even the people here consider him a prodigy.

Actually, they consider him something of an idiot savant. While Fon absorbs all the information around him and learns any lesson he is given, he tries not to outwardly react. There is a difference between knowing and comprehending. If they thought he understood everything that goes on around him, they would limit him. Currently, they think he is like a trained pet or a parrot: dutifully repeating what he is taught, without understanding what it means.

It changes when he turns four and kills a man. On the morning of his fourth birthday he is dressed in his best clothes and brought to the Mountain Master's meeting room. When his sifu tells him to, he runs through his assigned katas and is praised for his progress. Then, he is directed to kneel off to the side, and he makes a show of playing with his sleeves and smiling. He is an easily amused child, after all. A man is dragged in and placed on his knees in the center of the room. Fon's sifu takes Fon by the arm and tells him that this is a very bad man. This man is a traitor and would have let bad things happen to Fon's mother and the baby in her tummy. Fon is told to snap the man's neck. Fon does so.

That evening Fon silently cries himself to sleep. Never, in either life, had he been responsible for the death of another. He understands now, how he has been desensitized to death. Trips to 'help' in the kitchen led to him assisting in cutting up freshly slaughtered fish and chicken. Later, he helped slaughter them. The adults' carefully explained that death released all living things into their next life. (Fon struggled – and thankfully managed – not to laugh at the irony.) The poor crippled old dog Fon help his sifu put down. All of it led up to Fon taking his first life. His only relief is that Sifu was telling the truth: the man was a traitor and would have allowed harm to come to Fon's family. Fon has learned to read his teacher well enough for that.

It is a cold comfort. He knows it will only get worse from here. Fon will do anything for the people he loves. The Triad will use him. It is too late to fake incompetence or squeamishness: this body was neither even before Fon became truly aware. Fon is a prodigy of violence and death.

A month after his first kill, Fon's little sister comes into the world. She is called Mei, using the kanji for 'beautiful' because that is what she is. Even bright red, crying, and still blood-covered, she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Before he had been too young to remember his brother's birth or infanthood; now he is going to appreciate every second he can of Mei's.

Lessons have only gotten harder since his first kill. He returns to their small servants' quarters exhausted and bruised every night. It is a treat to spend that time with his sister. After recovering from the birth, his mother spent her days caring for Mei. When he arrived home, she would leave to do whatever work it is she did. She would always be returning as he left for his lessons at dawn. Fon is not sure what to think of his mother. She gave him Mei, and for that he loves her; but as a person, he is barely more than fond of her. She barely speaks to him. They just coexist, with their only real commonality being Mei.

Outside of his little family, Fon only cares about Sifu. The man is strict and demanding, but a good teacher. He allows no disrespect or distraction in his lessons, on the part of anyone. Even so, Sifu cannot drive Fon as hard as Fon drives himself. He improves in leaps and bounds. Before he knows it, he is seven years old and has mastered 24 different styles. They can be used interchangeably or he can limit himself to one in combat. Sifu had to bring in experts from other styles so Fon could continue to learn. Fon thinks he likes aikido best, but he has been molded for combat and confrontation and has little use for a pacifist's style. Fon has killed over 35 people. Some of them he executed, others he was pitted against in fights, and the remainder he assassinated.

For assassinations, he would be brought to the Mountain Master or his Deputy and be told a name and what the person had done (lately, he has only been told a name). Then he would be brought to an area his target would frequent or sometimes their home. He is small and adorable. It is easy to lure them into an isolated area or talk his way into their home. All the deaths so far have been cleanly snapped necks. For now, he is considered too young for the messier task of making a statement.

The other students do not appreciate his skill. They try to corner him and use numbers to teach 'the upstart' a lesson. He fights back and wins. He does not kill them. It makes most of them angry, but others are humbled and give Fon their respect. The cycle continues over and over. Fon is accustomed to fending off ambushes, but on occasion his friendlier classmates will notify him to an attempt.

Mei is three and beautiful as a porcelain doll, without any of the fragility. She seems to be a prodigy similar to him, without the advantages of a before. Even at this early stage, she seems to have gravitated to more weapons-oriented combat. She is intelligent and determined, but does not have his aching need to come at each new task as if it is a battle to be won.

Whenever he hears suggestions that she should be pushed harder, he increases his own training or undertakes a particularly complex sequence. Sifu knows him and sees what he is doing, but the other instructors get distracted in just the way Fon intends. Sometimes, Fon hears whispers that Mei should be given her desensitization as early as Fon was. He volunteers to add a few more kills onto his conscience. As long as the Triad has enough killers, Mei will be spared.

At ten, he is formally initiated into the Wo Hop To Triad as a '49er' or a common soldier by the Incense Master. Fon thinks he would have appreciated the ceremony more, if it wasn't a 'reward' for his 100th kill. The 36 Oaths initiates swear are good in theory, but a bit of a joke in practice. They are supposed to unite the 'sworn brothers' and prevent backstabbing or infighting. Fon knows people will be people, regardless of circumstance. No oath will prevent those with power from using it against those without. Becoming a member was not something he could fight. He thought about it.

Escaping would be of little difficulty, but he could not leave Mei. Taking her with him was not doable. Though she was brilliant, she was still only six. Supporting himself and a small child would have been difficult. At this point, Fon knows the power of the Wo Hop To. They would pursue him faster than he can escape with Mei. And he cannot risk Mei being punished, either for his escape or for being taken along. So he bottles up the rage and helplessness.

There are things he cannot fight, but it will not stop him. Fighting the illness did not stop his death. Fighting the Triad will only cause trouble for Mei. The blood on his hands cannot be fought. His induction into a criminal organization cannot be fought. None of these things will stop him, so he will live with them.

He will pretend that he sees nothing wrong with being a skilled assassin before he can see over the kitchen counters. He will behave politely and professionally toward classmates that would stab him in the back. He will smile and pretend nothing hurts when Mei asks about his day or his training. To do otherwise would be to give in, to snap, to destroy everything. No matter how much it burns, he will not stop fighting in the only way he can.