Realizing that he wants to live changes everything and nothing. The smiling calm he projects to the world becomes more real, less of an act. He finds joy in watching people try and fail to upset him, when he previously had to concentrate on maintaining the façade. The knot in his chest is still there, and it still aches, but it doesn't pull at him the same way. His thoughts drift less towards that dark place. His Storm Flames burn even stronger than before, but they ache less inside him. Whenever he calls them, they leap to his aid, giddy and joyful and eager. For the first time in years, he puts work into not burning more than necessary.

Between meditation and his new-found peace, finding a new method of control isn't too complicated. It's similar and completely different to how he learned to burn off poison. He knows how his Flames used to feel, and they've changed. Meditation helps him explore the changes. Fon finds that he doesn't mind the difference. When he found he didn't want to die, it was like he unlocked a part of his Flames he had never before been able to reach. It also unlocked possibilities he had never before considered.

He always does Flame training in a specially-reinforced warehouse. Burning poisons out of his system was all about directing his Flames at a very specific target; here, he concentrates on shaping them. He only puts enough Will in to manifest them, putting most of his focus into keeping them from disintegrating anything. They dance in his hands and coil around him, twisting and turning and weaving up his arms. The warmth and joy they give him is the purest thing he's felt since his childhood before. Even Mei's birth had been shadowed with the knowledge that the world she had been born into was dangerous.

As he kneels and allows his Flames to spiral around him, their shape starts to become more defined. Instead of trying to see the shape or make it clearer, he closes his eyes. He concentrates on the warmth and strength and reassurance that they bring him. Later, he will never be able to describe how long he spent there; on his knees in the center of that warehouse with Storm Flames circling him like a friendly cat. When he does open his eyes, he's tired. Fon has been tired since he became a murderer at four. He's been tired since before, when he was too young and dying. This tired is new, it's a pleasant tired.

The last time he felt this kind of tired, he had spent an entire day cooking with Mei. There was a shortage of kitchen staff due to a week-long flu when Fon was eight. If it had been any other time they could have made due, but there was a celebration for the initiation of the Mountain Master's son. The day before, Fon and Mei were dismissed from their lessons to help. It was exhausting and wonderful. The entire day was spent cooking and sneaking tastes and giggling with Mei as she learned the names of all the ingredients and the proper way to hold a knife. He didn't have to train or fight or kill, just create delicious treats. It was nonstop all day and he fell into bed exhausted, but it was one of his happiest memories of this life.

Opening his eyes is harder than he expected, he's that tired. It's worth it though. He is staring into the face of a dragon made of his Flames.

Fon spends weeks trying to form the dragon outside deep meditation. The obsessive tendencies that drive his martial arts have always carried over to his Flame experiments. Part of him, mostly from before, knows it's unhealthy; the way he does nothing but perfect his craft for hours, days, weeks. He doesn't eat or sleep at regular intervals or in great enough amounts. The only 'breaks' he takes are for missions he and Mei are assigned. Eventually it catches up to him like it always does. Fatigue and lightheadedness is his first sign of problems, and due to his minor issues with food they are familiar nuisances. Mei reads him the riot act when she sees how pale he is, and has Sifu restrict his training.

After a few days of eating and sleeping better, he is allowed back to his experiments. Sifu supervises him and Fon would be annoyed, except Sifu gives really good feedback and advice. The progress they make is so impressive Fon hides the minor fever that's been annoying him. Headaches are more irritating – as they impair his concentration – but he's trained with much worse, so those are also ignored. Then he does it. A dragon brought into existence with all the destructiveness and beauty of the storms for which his Flames are named. He calls it the Exploding Lotus Kempo.

Honestly, the name is an inside joke. It is actually completely unrelated to the move. Mei had been keeping him company and was complaining about the weird names people give moves. She had asked what kind of idiot called out the name of a move in the middle of combat. Fon completely agreed, because that is the kind of thing that gets people killed. During her rant, she actually used 'Exploding Lotus' as an example and Fon had jumped on the chance to tease her. Every time he says the name, she cringes. It's glorious. Sifu is so done with their antics.

The tattoo is something like a reward and a reminder. An intricate dragon whose head rests at his heart and body coils down his left arm. It is a reward for his progress, both with Flames and for mastering his 100th martial art style. It also reminds him that he wants to live. Maybe being a Triad member with a dragon tattoo is stereotypical, but Fon chose it for his Flames. Getting the tattoo hurt a bit, but he expected that. Purposefully scraping skin open to put in ink is going to hurt. It felt like having bad sunburn, and after a week it was pretty much healed.

Now if only the headaches and dizziness would stop.