A/N: Apparently I can't stop myself from writing Jily. Again. Enjoy!
Title: Friendly Future Renter
Summary: "You're the ruler here, right? Do you rent out dungeon cells? Just asking for a friend." "Excuse me?"
WC: 719
Genre: Fantasy, Humour and a dash of Romance
Characters: Lily E. P., James P.
"You're the ruler here, right?" the strange man with the antlers sprouting from his head demanded. "Do you rent out dungeon cells? Just asking for a friend."
"Excuse me?" Lily asked, thoroughly shocked by his presence.
She had been rushing from her desk to the Throne room, rather late for a meeting that simply could not start without her, when she had been cornered by this very strange individual. Not strange because of the antlers, of course – more than a quarter of her court was of fairy descent, after all – but rather because he had the gall to interrupt her. It was almost an attack, as far as she was concerned, especially as she had no idea who he was and how he had gotten into her castle.
"Dungeon cells," he said, "You know, those things that are dark, trapped and don't smell good?"
"I know what a dungeon cell is," she retorted. He was just so cheeky, and for some absurd reason, she found herself quite attracted to him. He did have rather nice hair, after all...
"Then why did you make me repeat?" he huffed. "So, are they for rent?"
"No! I don't rent out my dungeons!" she exclaimed.
The man suddenly turned around, talking to someone behind him in the dark corridor. "See, I told you it wouldn't work."
"It's because you didn't ask nicely," someone complained. Lily was not pleased to find out that there were more than one of them.
"But we reallllyyy need that dungeon," another voice added in a whiny voice. Oh, Merlin. Three? How had three perfect strangers managed to get past the guards?
The antlered-man quickly replied them. "I know we need that dungeon, but she isn't exactly saying yes, is she?"
"Prongs," the second voice said, and she noted that the second man's name was Prongs, oddly fitting too. "We decided you were the one going to ask because you said you were the most charming. So go and woo her now."
"I'd like to see you try," Prongs retorted.
"Umm, you know I can hear you, right?" Lily said, "And who are you talking to?"
Prongs whipped round. "No one!"
"Right, so if I venture down that dark corridor I won't find two more intruders lurking?"
He gasped. "We're not intruders!"
"So there is a we," Lily concluded.
"Yes! I mean, no! But we – I – am not an intruder. Think of me as a friendly future renter."
Lily crossed her arms. Oh Merlin, she was more than late now. Thank goodness she was the Queen and it didn't matter whether or not she was on time, but still. This wasn't very responsible of her. "I told you, I'm not renting."
"But we – I – need it!"
"To do what?" she demanded.
His face turned darker, though one corner of his mouth was turned up in an impish smirk. It was quite hard to take him seriously. "If I told you, I would have to kill you."
"If that's your best argument, colour me convinced," she said ironically. Really, she should be leaving, calling her guards or whatever. But something, something, was making her want to keep him around, just for a little while.
"Well-"
"Look," she interrupted. "I'm late."
"I know but-"
"However," she declared. "If you – and only you, not all of your little friends – meet me in the third floor corridor in about two hours with sufficient list of arguments as why I should rent my dungeon, than maybe I might consider it."
"Oh, thank you, your Highness." Finally an acknowledgement of her rank. Thank Merlin!
"Goodbye," she said and walked swiftly towards the throne room.
She made it to her meeting only twenty minutes late, to her advisors many disbelieving looks – after all, she was never late. But the meeting was extremely boring, Lily couldn't seem to concentrate. She couldn't wait for it to be over to go and meet this mysterious Prongs once again.
A very small rational part of her was wondering why on Earth she even wanted to go talk alone to a guy with antlers on his head who wanted to rent out a dungeon. But a very large part of her was wondering if she would have enough time to run back to her room and change into a nicer dress.
FOR HOGWARTS
Fantasy February: Day 2: Dialogue: "You're the ruler here, right? Do you rent out dungeon cells? Asking for a friend"
