Chapter 22: No tank you NERV.
Simple rule of economics: Which is more valuable? Motels or gas stations?
If it was the case that motels were more valuable then gas stations would just keep converting into motels until you have a bunch of unhappy drivers jamming up the roads unable to find any places to refuel and too many empty motel rooms with no bookings.
At this point, the merchant industry starts to raise the price for a pint of fuel substantially while dropping the price drastically for a room booking.
Since both gas stations and motels are useful in some way shape or form, it would be incorrect to say one is more important.
Now another simple rule: Who is more important. A burger flipper or the fat, lazy customer who orders the burgers. Without the burger flipper, the customer has nothing to pay for and without the customer the burger flipper has no one to pay him and thus no reason to flip burgers.
So, the consumer is at least as important as the producer since one can't exist without the other.
Remember that the next time you feel like you are contributing nothing to society by buying a bunch of stuff to sooth your depression at not being able to accomplish anything meaningful.
You are paying a bunch of grateful workers their much-needed wages to survive.
Kaworu POV
"General" Squid girl proudly announces now wearing the Oorai sailor uniform and skirt while smoothing her tentacular hair with her hand as she and I behold the fine and noble if slightly underaged legion of our first real standing army. They stand ready to march out and establish our squid empire across the entirety of terra's landmasses. Their determined and attentive looks showing us that they would not stop until every road led to the squid empire.
Deciding we needed a bit of a break from the musty air of our panzer's confines and to properly acknowledge our new subjects with the dignity they were due, we had taken up position in a let-out school classroom still with its whiteboard and pen at the ready and its desks neatly arranged in scholarly fashion.
"Yes milady?"
"For your bold yet rewarding decision to liberate these most helpful and adorably sweet minnows from evil's grasp, I am promoting you in light of your above the call of duty conduct."
My eyes go agape. I was pretty perplexed already when just earlier yesterday night I had been catapulted from Ensign to General with almost no warning, but now I was earning another promotion after already skipping so many customary ranks?
To those surface dwellers who believed squids to be incapable of the warmer emotions such as compassion and gratitude, I can but shake my head in utter disgust.
"It is also a reward we as a school wish to bestow upon you for the service you've rendered our educational establishment" The auburn haired Nishizumi who had been the first of the immaculately dressed schoolgirls to receive my rescue added as she stepped to the front of the classroom almost completely on cue.
My heart felt like it would thud from my chest as she unclipped the starry badge she had until now been wearing on the chest of her green edged sailor uniform (no reference to a certain "other" sailor uniform), and with one smooth movement pinned it carefully in the exact same place on my faux fur coat where it fitted like wax.
"Oorai girls academy lives only thanks to your commendable sense of ethics, pure heart and righteous morality when it mattered most. It is for this reason that from here on and now that Oorai girl's academy be renamed in commemoration of you.
From this day forth, let Oorai mixed academy live long and prosper. For the future of our academy looks brighter than the sun with you as our headmaster."
She pedantically in slow motion performs the deepest curtsey I had ever seen of anyone. It nearly crashes her face to the floor but she manages in the nick of time to stand back up almost tripping in the process.
"My Sensei." She calls me.
"Our Sensei" A Russian student Klara corrects with a raised hand in the air in the interests of common classroom courtesy.
When I volunteered out of my strict codes of gentlemanly etiquette to rescue as many of NERV's unfairly abused prisoners of war as I possibly could, I could not have guessed that this was what I had gotten myself and my fair lady into.
The sheer size of this group of attractive females each of whom seemed more flawless than the last, would have made Kirito the black swordsman green with envy.
Before the coming of the morn, the squid kingdom had but its two final survivors one of whom was not even a born national.
Now almost at the drop of a hat we had established completely unintentionally a pax squidtannica that spanned multiple colonies both domestic and overseas. Girls of every nationality once attended the prestigious Oorai. Every race of every continent.
Every corner of every landmass and sea mass for some were born an underwater container following the running out of fertile land to live on free of NERV.
Of every religion both from and not from this world for some worshipped the forbidden faiths of Cthulu and Azathoth among the other great old ones whose monasteries had all but been razed to the ground in the many great inquisition purges which I was never one to see the benefits from.
Oorai was a point in which these many singularities converged into a tight yet loose confederation.
A place where its members could be both each other and yet themselves.
It was a society that I knew even without my timely interventions would certainly have stood forever.
"You do me much kindness" I gratefully reply with a shallower bow of my own as I pick up a nearby pointer and chalk.
I face the luckily very sizeable board and begin to write down every single name of every single student I had managed to save in various locations scattered around the city.
As many in number as they already were making it hard to remember them all even with my superior memory over an average human, there were yet others yet to be found in other cities and ports dotted around NERV's tightly controlled territory.
I try not to dwell on the difficulty of the rescues yet to come.
When I'm fairly certain I've got everyone's name down I turn back to face the first class I had ever held lectureship over.
The first proper school of the squid empire.
"Good morning class" I begin to softly intone taking care never to let too much authority seep into my voice.
"Good morning Tank commander Nagisa" They chime in unison as squid girl turns to me with an adoring leer.
"I think this settles the name of your new rank above general, general no more." She playfully chides.
"Do me proud. My new and first Tank commander and don't let this go to your head."
The tank commander.
Such a simple title yet with such elegance in every syllable.
The phrase that would go next to the soon to be made five-star symbol above the four-star general symbol which until today had been the highest position attainable for any marine.
The general was trusted only to give commands to frail and easily broken beings of flesh and blood who struggled to withstand a single weak bullet wound.
The tank commander on the other hand had full reign over the far more difficile and sturdy machines of war that not even a concentrated volley of machinegun fire could slightly dent.
An entire platoon of infantry under the general's command could not hope to carry a fraction of the ballistic destruction as a single tank in the tank commander's squadron.
A tank did not tire. It did not waiver. As long as it had fuel in its canister it would continue to steamroll to victory while unleashing its might arsenal that far dwarfed what a mere man could hope to bring unto the battlefield.
But most importantly. A tank did not overwhelm the mind and free will of its crew the way an Evangelion robbed the sanity and thoughts of its poor suffering pilot.
Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love each other but make not a bond of love. Stand together but not too close.
The pillars of a temple stand apart but work together to uphold the same structure.
The pine and cypress tree grow together but never in each other's shadows.
It is ironic that the basic gestures of love can also be applied to Evangelions and their pilots and to tanks and their crews.
The Evangelion stole the unique beauty of individuals away while a tank allowed such beauty to be expressed only stronger than ever before.
Yet more relevant than all that was the simple undeniable fact that the Evangelion required the loss of one human soul to power it.
If NERV's goal was to prevent the loss of unnecessary lives and protect humanity then sorry, it already failed the second it got started.
Life was not like money. To compare the relative value of a sapient being with another was not like comparing a single yen to a million.
The sacrifice of such a precious commodity should be a last resort for the fight for the human race's survival. Never the first.
How could NERV claim to be protectors when their entire method of protection begun with a killing?
How long could Tokyo 3 remain so irrational?
These were the thoughts that rang in my mind as I took the register for each and every one of my new students in turn.
"For today's field exercise, we take the rest of Tokyo 3 by storm." I instructed once the last student had confirmed her presence, blushing with gratitude at how I had remembered her name despite her meekness.
"Get into your chosen groups of three and every group take a tank. Each tank will have an signal commander, a gunner and a driver. You will be graded for every remotely useful structure you manage to conquer by how useful the structure will be for our operation.
But you will be marked down depending on how great the loss of life to accomplish the takeover was.
And target even one civilian whether deliberately or by accident and consider yourself expelled and your permanent record forever irreparably tarnished."
I regretted having to sound so harsh but at the celestial hight of my position, this was a gravely tragic necessity. I needed everyone here to understand completely and fully with no confusion that this was NOT a slaughter.
This was not a war. This was not a killing spree of revenge. Anyone treating as such had chosen the wrong side in this conflict.
"The instant the smoke clears and the city is firmly under squid control, I want you all to see to it personally that all those casualties still with the spark of life within them be treated immediately to the best of your abilities and those without be given a true warrior's funeral. Above all else remember. The causation of suffering for our own amusement is NOT on the agenda and those who'd believe otherwise are evilly soiling the very Oorai name"
"Sir. Yes sir." The school girls dutifully chimed as one touching their incredibly sweaty brows.
One girl having even fallen out of her seat at the passion and heat of my strict briefing that outlined my zero-tolerance attitude.
"Now go out there and make Nagisa sensei and the squid kingdom proud." I bark excitedly softening my hard-set eyes a little.
"Know that if you perform your duties with the excellence that I know you each possess within you that by tonight. All roads in Toyko 3 will lead to Squid and we will have the square deal of the pax squidtannica we richly deserve. Bully for you all."
They don't even have the patience to rally a cheer as they almost trip over each other in their hurry to rush to the row of stolen tanks we were able to hijack with ease from the captured hangars that had long become neglected throughout the city.
"Now let's go milady and make Chirizu (poor Chirizu. Shame on you NERV squid catchers) proud"
I say with a smooth gesture for the doorway that the Miho Nishizumi was still patiently waiting by for us. I trusted her to be the best at commanding our personal tank while I operated the guns and Squid girl drove with the steering controls she was getting much better at.
"You take the words out of my mouth. Gen. Erm. Tank commander Kaworu. For that I love you."
Gendo POV
For the first time in my life, I allow myself to scream like a baby.
The sights and scenes on the luxury camera view from the safety of my mansion outside the capital make my blood freeze to ice.
My magnificent army being decimated by a group of ruthlessly guided tanks which I thought were but a pointless clutter and waste of space until now.
They were carving their way through my battalions that I kept solely to keep my little rats in line like a hot knife through butter.
The bullets that my gatling guns unleashed could not even scratch the stainless-steel contraptions. Even a well-aimed bazooka rocket left little more than a small smudge of black that failed to even call the attention of the tank to the shooter.
To make the recording even more unsettling as I glugged bottle after bottle of exquisite vintage grape wine costing more than a thousand yen each, the row of tanks had fixed their speakers to play a very chipper and upbeat Russian song whose lyrics were all but incomprehensible to either me or my witless subjects. The noise alone was enough to make some of them flee in terror with their weapons and armour thrown to the ground.
From the one word that was sang the loudest, I guessed that it was the Katyusha song. The no longer used Russian folk tune from long ago. Hah Russia. A frozen wasteland with nothing valuable for me to steal so why it had time to compose such elegant tunes was beyond me.
How the trumpets raged to the perfect melody of the singer's chorus of love and fury if that was even possible. Even I was forced to turn the volume off and cover my ears with how scared it made me.
I threw the wine glass to the ground as yet another military complex was overrun with ruthless ease.
Something had to be done. If those uncultured knuckleheads took my city then that meant no more taxes. No more grape wine.
I would be poor. Broke. Penniless.
With my hands still covering my ears I stagger to the nearby telephone.
The mental image and sound of a raging Russian Cossack shouting the word "Katyusha" with force enough to pierce the heavens will haunt me in my sleep for quite some time.
I growl and gnash my teeth with a gust of devilish fury as I dial the number I intend.
"ABOUT TIME YOU PICKED UP YOUR DAMN PHONE YOU LAZY DINGUS!" The deafeningly loud screech of the normally cool and precise grey haired doctor Kozo shakes the room causing a few cracks in the stained-glass windows I requisitioned some weeks ago with the spoils of another third world village I had sacked. They were expensive and very stylish but to be so they had to be made with very fragile techniques.
"THOSE CRAZIES ARE PILING US HIGH WITH CORPSES AND NOW THEY'RE REGROUPING TO MAKE THE CLOSING MOVE ON NERV'S HEADQUARTERS ITSELF! THEY'RE ALREADY SURROUNDING US LIKE A WOLFPACK AND YOU JUST LEAVE US HANGING WITH NO INSTRUCTION!"
His shouting nearly gets me to drop the phone as it causes a powerful psionic wave to ripple through my entire form. It completely tranquilizes my earlier fury by overriding it in an even fiercer manner. The likes of which I'd never expect to see from old friend Kozo.
"Alright I get it. Just unleash the EVA's already" I annoyedly reply.
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND YOU ASSHOLE! YOU SENT THE LAST DAMN GERMAN PILOT TO GO TRACK DOWN YOUR STUPID SON AND YOUR COMPLETELY MINDLESS SIMPLETON OF A "DAUGHTER" AS WELL AS THAT BRITISH GIRL WITH THE CREEP GRIN. AND YOU ARE TELLING US TO UNLEASH THE EVA?
DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD OR SOME OTHER CRAP?"
"Just get one of the other children" I shrug wondering where he had the breath to keep his shout going for this long.
"THEY'RE ALL GONE! FOR SOME REASON THEY ALONG WITH LOTS OF OUR OTHER STAFF CLOSE TO THEM ALL LEFT WITH NO WARNING. YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CHIEF WHO SHOULD BE KICKED OUT SO SOMEONE COMPETENT LIKE ME CAN LEAD INSTEAD"
You'll never get my crown Kozo. I would sooner die than let even you or anyone take leadership.
I had spent long enough in my youth awaiting with great agony the shining new era that was tiptoeing nearer. Where you feature in my plan Kozo is that you just listen to teacher.
It took me years of meticulous planning. Tenacity spanning. Decades of denial for me to finally be king undisputed, respected, saluted and seen for the wonder I am.
As the one scientist I deem more well learned than that Akagi whose fading charms are quickly beginning to bore me enough that I consider having her taken out for knowing too much, I expect you understand Quid pro quo.
The future was indeed littered with prizes.
Though I may addressee. The point that I must emphasize is...
"YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!" I wrang out my larynx in rebuttal to his disrespectful degradation to the wonderous ally that had made his cushy place in life even possible.
"Now" I wheeze as I take a second to down a lemon flavoured lozenge following such a painful outburst that so damaged my dainty throat. "Clear your mind of such distractions and execute plan R-2 at once"
"R-2? R-2!? You surely don't mean to say you've forgotten that the so-called R-2 or second Rei Ayanami (Rei 2) that you intended to be an ironing out of the first's mistakes made during development is still in the beta stages of incubation. To release her now would be a terrible waste. For goodness sake, her brain is still underdeveloped to even be able to comprehend the most rudimentary of human speech with any accuracy."
"This you see Kozo, is the contingency for which I prepared the berserker gene" I gleefully explain with a flourish. "This gene when inserted into her undeveloped cranium through the gap solely intended for its function will allow her to go toe to toe with the universe's most world-destroying intergalactic perils.
A million Angels would not pose a serious threat to Rei 2 with this gene even as premature as she is."
"She will not last long outside her life support pod. She'll die and it will be a terrible waste of..."
"Question my orders Kozo and I'll have you thrown into the dungeon to rot to bones and rags." I joyfully caution enjoying every last bit of the dominance I now hold over even my former rebellious friend from school. "Get Rei 2 out this instant and don't call me again until you've executed my command to the letter."
A deep sigh of submissive regret. "If you say so. You moron."
Then the hanging up siren.
Call me whatever rude names you can think of Kozo. The point remains that I am the grasshopper and you are the ant. A circle of life sort of thing I expect a scientist like you to have mastered in first grade.
The sun grows the food. The ants pick the food and the grasshopper eats the food and when there's no food he eats the ants.
With savage pleasure I flip out the specially prepared dossier from Rei 2's previous power scan.
The sheer magnitude of each statistic is enough to bring saliva to my lips.
-Rei 2-
Type: Psychic
Attack: 999/999
Defence: 999/999
Special: 999/999
Speed: 999/999
Moves: Psychic, Ice beam, Amnesia, Rest
"You want the final battle against me you hopeless rebels. You shall have it. As reward for your outstanding earlier victories for naught, I shall grant you audience with the new almighty goddess of war."
Then I laugh.
I laugh some more. Then some more.
Then even more.
Squid girl POV
"Be prepared my beloved minnow subjects for a chance of a lifetime." I intone with confidence as our final target comes into view from the hatch of the tank that I share with Kaworu and Miho.
I need my army's morale to be sky high for this decisive confrontation.
Eiko said I'd never even be master of myself on the surface let alone take the weapon capital of humankind. But Chirizu never doubted my prowess.
Good on you Chirizu. The squid kingdom will remember as will the north. I will make certain to engrave your name into the throne I will soon have carved out in my first palace repurposed from NERV's headquarters.
The throne of games I shall call it. As a reminder that joy and laughter are the truly desirable ends in the endless struggle that is life and survival.
If not for Chirizu Eiko, you'd have taken the black one in the Nightwatch long ago.
I'm about to prove you wrong. You will see that even squids have rights that must be respected as sapient thinkers fully capable of the full range of human emotions.
"Be prepared?" Miho asks stroking her jaw droppingly gorgeous auburn hair. "Yeah alright we'll be prepared. Erm for what?"
"For the end of the king." I answered nonchalantly.
"What is he sick?"
So many questions. But so much adorability. Miho and I were going to be erstwhile compadres even if she never quite reached the level of respect Tank commander Kawrou had.
"No fool we're going to put an end to his rule. And his creepy scientist minion too."
"Great idea. Who needs a king?" Miho calls excitedly into the speaker linking my tank to the others.
"No king. No king lalalalalala" The combined singing of every girl of Oorai soon erupts from the radio.
Such fiesty independence. I liked that. I valued being the centre of attention but I even more valued freedom and liberty.
I was never going to take those things away as the surface dwellers took them from my race.
"Well unless you think I'm worthy of being the new ruler." I calmly suggested after I had waited long and patiently for their joyous singsong to die.
"Stick with me, my beloved inklings" I vowed with closed eyes and hands and tentacles on heart.
"And I swear from the bottom of my heart of ink that you will never go hungry again."
I wanted my coronation to be completely welcomed. I'd gladly go back to scrubbing toilets and waiting tables at the diner if I wasn't.
I watited with bated breath. What was their answer. Kaworu would follow me from here to beyond but...
"Yeah. Alright. Long live the Queen." Miho happily and wholeheartedly yelled into the speaker even as I began to feel dizzy.
"Long live the queen. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!" The entire tank squad soon chimes as one with Kaworu quickly joining in as he takes a golden paper crown he found in a cracker left in the deserted school's closet unused from last year and places it onto my head.
He also hands me a plastic white and red candy cane that fits snugly in just two fingers.
Not the best sceptre but I'll soon get a better one.
"If you will follow my beloved fishes. Then I will lead." I reply in between cheers and heartfelt congratulations as I increase speed to quickly close the distance between us and our last fight before my ascension. I only want to be ruler if I am supported and liked in my rule.
I don't want a forceful victory or to win over my opponents but only to win them over.
Chirizu taught me the value of such virtuousness and helped me realize the true responsibility of rulership.
This was the NERV HQ?
It looked big and grand but no more so than so many of the buildings we already took over with ease.
It didn't even look so heavily defended.
What was NERV thinking?
"Wait." I call hurriedly into the radio as I brake hard. "Everyone slow down and be on your guard."
One other important part of battle that Chirizu had educated me in was the need to be extra cautious when the enemy looked to be more disorganized than it should.
Things that were too good to be true often were.
My restraint is well rewarded as before my startled squid eyes, the entire dark and forbidding edifice turns to solid ice.
Some jagged shards fly our way and we are barely able in the nick of time to dodge them by reversing.
Then when I thought things could get no worse, the large trucks parked by the eerily quiet entranceway are lifted several feet into the air as a pink aura of light bathes them in their entirety.
They are tossed with amazing velocity at our tank convoy and while we thankfully manage for the most part to swerve and avoid, a few of us closest to the front are rendered immobile by the crushing of the sky dropped projectiles.
"Something is wrong here" My tank commander anxiously advises as he closes his eyes briefly with a finger to his forehead.
As a part Angel he has the ability to sense the power levels of other angelic beings who happen to be nearby as well as whether they intend harm or can be reasoned with from their aggression levels.
Stepmother Lilith protected her own, he claimed. Mother Russia protected all.
"Powerful energies. There is an angelic being ahead and it has exceptional power whatever it is."
He summarized clutching his head clearly in terrible agony.
He turns to me with his face a mask of fear.
"Evacuate everyone quickly milady" He bluntly requests as he continues to rub his head.
"None of them can stand a chance against this mighty being of pure pulsating energy. Let them stay and we will all be wiped out."
"All tanks fall back." I crisply order, taking my most trusted ally at his word.
"But then what will we do?" I worriedly ask with a shaking tentacle.
He hardens his expression as he raises a fist.
"I'll take care of this milady. I'm our only hope. Tell everyone to move as far away as possible and do not order any advance onward if I do not return."
"But..." I try to protest fearing more for his life than mine.
"Fight fire with fire. Fight Angels with Angels. The first line of Sun Tzu's art of war Milady. Go now or you will be brutally tortured in a fate worse than death itself and so will your kingdom."
He asks once more with as much decorum as possible.
He opens the hatch door.
"Don't go Kaworu. I don't want to lose you." I try weakly to beg once more.
"You will never lose me." he simply answers. "For as long as there are stars in the sky, I will live on in your heart and mind as long as you keep me there. Be strong milady. Do it for me."
There is no time for further argument as with one smooth motion he jumps from the tank and I quickly close the hatch after him crossing the fingers of my free hand.
"Please. Don't. Die" I started to sob as dark ink blotted out my vision and senses.
The squid kingdom cannot exist with its great champion at the head of its tankery.
Kaworu POV
That was not Rei Ayanami.
It's her pale blue hair and blood red eyes but the way that so much of her body was out of proportion with half the digits on each hand and leg not even fully developed told a tragic tale of premature conception and a rushed job.
I knew NERV was cheap but this. This was inhuman.
The most despised dictators in history would not condone such carelessness.
"Please stop Rei. You will kill many innocent people who did nothing wrong" I try to saying knowing it won't work.
"Grah. Hrr" She mumbles out pointing accusingly at me with her one fully grown right hand finger.
She clearly can't understand a word I'm saying.
There are so many orifices and holes in her body where I can see her veins, arteries and innards. A trail of blood spills out behind her as she lumbers forward to address me in the only way she knows.
Through a concentrated beam of cryogenic energy which I evade by ducking behind a tree which is quickly frozen into an ice sculpture that would not look out of place in Elsa's frozen castle.
Believe me when I tell you that you are lucky to not have to witness the horror.
Frankenstein's monster would look a right prince charming in comparison.
What could I do? How should I act? What weapons could I use?
If I unleashed my inner angel it would almost certainly spell certain death for the Earth again.
We had already had two impacts. We didn't need a third.
Shinji most of all would never forgive me and he was mad enough with me as it was.
No. There had to be another way I thought as I felt inside my trouser pockets for the seven very ordinary looking green marbles, I had decided to pocket following a supply raid we had conducted some hours ago to give every member in our army a hearty meal before the climax of the conflict.
It was found in a toybox with a dragon shaped emblem.
Normally I criticized NERV's ignorance but today I found myself applauding it.
Villains. They knew how to take but never how to use what they've taken to its greatest effect.
I had a relieved grin as I crushed the marbles in my right hand.
Then I began to scream.
First quietly, then noisily and then with such force that the leaves of the nearby trees shook.
Windows cracked and cars rumbled as I shouted and shouted and shouted.
"Haaah. HAAAH!. HAAAAAAAAH!"
I cried striking a crescendo as I flexed my muscles out further and further as a shower of gold bathed me in its entirety.
I sincerely hoped that at least one of the Oorai girls had brought a smartphone camera with her. Since this would be the first and only time they'd get to see me in all my muscular glory as my ever-enlarging muscles grew so great they ripped my clothes thought thankfully not my trousers.
The poorly designed Rei-lookalike seemed shocked herself.
It got even better. Through the cracked glass of a broken window, I could see my ugly grey mop of spiky hair glow the same gold as the beam of light that first enveloped me as I finally completed my transformation sporting a twelve-pack bare chest of bulging muscle.
I felt a pang of great guilt that this unfinished Rei clone would never grow to learn the meaning of fanservice and its great pleasure.
But there was no time to waste being a show off.
I closed my hands together and gave a brief glance to the heaven to thank Lilith once more for bringing me back to this plane despite my past mistakes.
"KAAAA"
I yelled out as bright blue energy rippled between my fingers.
"MEIII"
"Rei" tried to grip me with a pink wave of telekinetic energy but failed completely much to her surprise.
My part Angel body disrupts her signal.
"HAAA"
My hyperactive hears the chewing of delicious popcorn coming from the back row of my tank army.
Wise choice whoever is doing this since this will most likely go on for a while.
"MEIII"
Now "Rei" looks scared. Is that even possible with her clearly not fully grown brain.
What kind of sicko's let such an infant life form out this early knowing she'd not survive.
So sorry "Rei" if that is your name. So sorry.
"HAAAAAA! HAAAAA! HAAAAA!"
My final cry re-echoes an uncountable number of times as I unleash the vicious energy wave an ancient race of aliens only I still remember called "Kamehameha"
Its the purest ray of power to ever exist in this galaxy since the cradle of civilization itself.
Nuclear missles could only cry at their impotence beside it.
Funny how advanced and savvy humankind thought their technologies were when they had never once come close to beating out Kamehameha.
It would take them at this rate perhaps another forty millenia to complete research on the bespoken ion ray and even that would only match rather than surpass Kamehameha.
"Rei's" eyes go wide and she lets out a brief but truly heart wrenching gasp as my attack surges towards her to ionize her entire form into the base atoms that it was assembled from.
Had I been but human, the sheer force of the energy coursing through my body would have ripped it asunder long before I could gather enough of it to make a difference.
Had it not been for my undying amour for Shinji and Squid girl when they proved to me that I did not need to abuse the angel half of me to serve a useful purpose and lead a worthwhile existence worth dying for, I would have turned on my former friends who I worked so hard to save and torn them to pieces with my newfound strength instead.
Knowing that I had a captive audience who needed badly to know the infinite joy and pain that was a nosebleed gave me the last bit of passion I needed to totally give myself over.
"Thank you, Lilith. Thank you, Shinji. Thank you, Squid girl. And to all my students of Oorai. Thank you"
The beam completely consumed the small blue haired homunculi with a blinding flash.
It crackled and sizzled as it did its deadly work of ripping her apart atom by atom, quark by quark.
She would be stripped down to her base elements and the base elements reduced to even lower forms of energy far too insignificant for mankind to bother giving a name to.
She would quite literally be knocked from existence.
This was the literal embodiment of a black hole disintegrating her and her alone.
"This won't hurt a bit. I promise" I sorrowfully whisper.
"This is the least painful way for you to go. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."
At least she did not have a soul to feel the full force of the agony.
Of that I was glad.
At least the "real" Rei was somewhere faraway hopefully safe with Shinji.
Of this I was relieved enough to not burst into tears all at once.
My tear glands had taken enough strain for one day.
But as the bright light faded to reveal the results of my devastating energy attack, my frown of relief quickly twisted back into a grimace as I quickly resteadied my guard.
Kamehameha had failed to even gift upon the false Rei a single scratch.
Her naked form remained as tightly held together as it previously was. Which was not well as she traumatized me further with another look at her sticking out innards as despite her lack of mental capability she roared a challenge.
"WWRRRYYY!" She called as she flew rather than ran straight for me with an outstretched foot.
I manage only just in the nick of time to block it with my arms as I answer with a kick of my own aimed at her shin.
She fades to the side and takes advantage of the opening I've left myself with a nasty headbutt caving in my nose as I respond to her dropping of her guard with a light jab not wanting to completely expose myself.
It dazes her briefly as she locks me into a submission grip and wrestles me mightily to the ground in spite of her diminutive size.
A massive crater remains on the roadway as I quickly recover and counter with a karate chop to her chest which is enough to leave her reeling momentarily.
My small victory is short lived though as she nails me in the shin with the tip of her foot sending me flying several inches backward.
Miho Nishizumi POV
"Sensei needs our help" I quickly call to the other students. "Someone gives him some encouragement and quickly. He needs inspiration and he needs it fast. Someone. Anyone. Give him some encouragement. Cheer him on."
It is my oldest friend Hana Isuzu who makes the courageous decision to step from the hatch of her tank.
Everyone goes quiet with their chatter as she upholds a loud hailer to her lips and after a few sound checks, begins an epic rap number that I know will go down as one of the few remaining proofs of humanity's existence long after the world is truly dead.
You know there's something you should know
So I'm gonna tell you so
Don't sweat it
Forget it
Enjoy the show
Saori Takebe, my other friend takes out a drum while Darjeeling brings out her portable keyboard.
Piano goes great with tea according to her.
They begin to accompany her with tunes of their own that perfectly match her rap as the battle between our Senpai and the evil alien rages on.
Working all day? Now it's time to unwind
Kick back. Relax. Tack a load of your mind
Aha.
The song seems to have quite the uplifting effect as Nagisa Senpai lands a square kick to the disheveled psycho who falls backwards into a building head first.
"Keep singing Isuzu" I encouragingly plead to which despite her already waning confidence, she manages with a slightly breaking voice to continue as her makeshift band follows suit.
I'll be busting the moves and I'll be busting the rhymes
We'll be busting up laughing cause it's party time
Everybody feeling fine because it's party time
The sound of fists and feet connecting with flesh fills the air almost drowning out Isuzu's debut single which if we live to see the next day will surely make her the star I knew she deserved to be.
Sing Isuzu. Sing. Sensei's life depends on it.
Play Darjeeling. Play. Stop the keyboard melody for one second and Sensei might lose rhythm and be easy prey for that horrifying whatever it was that he was fighting.
Drum with all your might Takebe. Picture the drum as a nail and you as the hammer. Know that one missed beat and the nail won't be properly hammered in.
Party time. Party time
Everybody feeling fine because it's party time
Party time. Party time
"YAAAH!" Sensei bawls in great hurt as the monster manages to land a flurry of shocking blows onto his face. "AAAAH WHOA! AAAAAH!" He cries as he is knocked for six through an entire row of houses emerging on the other side black and blue.
Please Isuzu. I know you are shy but just a little more.
She hears my mental prayer somehow and puffs her chest up as great as it will go in anticipation for the next line. She begins to move her feet and hands to the words of her song as her drummer and pianist begin to bash at their instruments with all their musical might.
I can hear their huffs and puffs of exhaustion even through the magnificent rap that would put Micheal Jackson to shame.
Come on friends. Come on.
So just leave your troubles at the door
Leave your worries behind
Leave the rest up to me
You're gonna like what you find
I'll be bustin, the moves. I'll be bustin the ride.
We'll be bustin up laughin cuz its PARTY TIME
Energized by Isuzu's energetic delivery, Sensei quickly recovers and manages to slam the monster into a metal doorway as his golden hair trails vibrantly behind him.
I can feel Isuzu straining her throat to its absolute limit. The following exertions will leave her mute for several weeks in bed ill.
It will take gallons of ice lemon tea before she even regains a fraction of her voice once again.
Now I know what drew me to you the first time we met.
You really are my first friend both in Oorai and in my lifetime.
I'd go as far perhaps to say I like you more than as a friend but that is a discussion for another time.
PARTY TIME! PARTY TIME!
And everybody's feeling fine because its PARTY TIME!
PARTY TIME! PARTY TIME!
Everybody feeling fine because it's party time
The monster tries one final time to nail Sensei with one of its ice blasts but with a heroic battlecry, Sensei punches the ice apart and before she can react grips her into a headlock.
I can feel Sensei's every bit of guilt and suffering as he tightens his grip on this now surprisingly sympathetic looking beast.
Drops of blood and mucus drip from his bloody mouth as he grips tighter and tighter as Isuzu expands the last ounce of her breath on one final verse as everyone joins her for the last line of anything she will be vocalizing for quite some time.
Party time. Party time
So everybody's feeling fine because it's party time
Party time. Party time.
Now everybody's feeling fine because it's party time.
The monster lets out one final gasp as it looks at Sensei with a peaceful expression that is almost grateful. Instead of being mad that Sensei took her down, she seems silently in the best way she knows to be commending his kindness in finally ending her existence of utter misery.
If this truly is a monstrosity of NERV then NERV really are awful monsters themselves who need to be put down even quicker.
Never mind how they force underage and not yet educated school children like me into brothels and other equally dehumanizing workhouses.
With a final grunt, Kaworu Nagisa Sensei finally finishes his foe off and with his whole body shaking dumps her corpse to the ground.
He turns his face from us but we all know that he is the one more dead than her in this moment at least on the inside.
Squid girl holds me as I feel free to let a few of my own tears roll down my cheeks as the choir provides the penultimate line.
Party time.
"It's party time" Isuzu manages to finish as she breaks into a coughing fit.
"Someone fetch her something to drink" I urgently order into the speaker not caring that there is still a final battle ahead.
Isuzu had just become the greatest bard of human music history and I would see to it that she was honoured as such.
"Soon it really will be party time Isuzu" I weep bitterly as I fall into Squid girl's arms once more.
"Thanks to you Isuzu. It will."
Really special thanks to fictionelement777, neoWarkid4, bandiras, An enemy of the state, Fantasian, Kycosoccerref and every other unnamed guest for your kind and generous reviews.
Thanks especially to enemy of the state for their incredibly heartwarming frequency of their awesome reviews. Hats off to you.
It is important to know when reading this story that Squid girl's voice actress (Christine Marie Cabanos) also does the role of Sailor Saturn from Sailor Moon and Magical girl Madoka. And Azusa from K-on.
So when you think of Squid girl, think of a purple hair, world destroying sailor uniform guardian with a gigantic scythe that can cut through anything.
You are all great people. Thank you for reading and see you all next time and bye.
