V
A lot happens in the weeks that follow.
Beside planning a wedding reception and moving forward with their hospital project, Beth has her seventeenth birthday, Rachel loses little Anna in her sleep, Hiram visits their home for the first time and Quinn sets a date for her global trip.
It is something like magic being able to come home to Quinn. There were times during her previous relationships when she dreaded walking through the front door and seeing another human being in her space, but it's different with Quinn.
It's always been.
It barely even matters what mood she's in when she gets home, because Quinn always manages to improve it. Just by being whom she is and loving Rachel with every part of her. She's in tune with Rachel in ways that surprise them both.
That isn't to say they don't fight, because they do. It's something to be said about finding little things your partner does annoying, but they exist. Quinn is particular in some ways, and Rachel is particular in others, and they don't see eye-to-eye on a handful of small things.
The big things, though, they're definitely on board together. Politics and favourite cuisines. Babies and the way they want their future to look.
Then they land their first investors behind the Spencer Foundation, and Quinn's schedule suddenly skyrockets to a level where Rachel barely sees her. Rachel knows Quinn is pushing herself, overworking to get as much done before she goes overseas, but it is a jarring adjustment leaving home after her and getting back before her.
An exhausted Quinn is someone very different to the spritely, sex-enthused thirty-four-year-old she usually is, and Rachel wasn't sure what to expect until she watched Quinn stumble through their front door, dump her things at her feet and then practically crawl right into Rachel's lap and just stay there.
She basically turns into a little cub, and Rachel wasn't aware she could love this woman any more. She even purrs when Rachel plays with her hair. It's literally everything she's ever wanted from life.
She wouldn't exchange it for anything.
By the time Quinn leaves on her month-long expedition, the hospital site has been purchased, plans drawn up and approved, and renovations have started. It is constantly amazing what money can get done in such a short time.
They've also set a date for the reception in the late summer, both of them letting Beth take the reins beyond their initial involvement.
Rachel, admittedly, isn't looking forward to an entire month without Quinn. Especially knowing she's going places in different time zones and with limited access to technology and communication. Since her leave of absence and subsequent return to New York, there hasn't been a single day she hasn't seen Quinn. Touched her and breathed her in.
"I see," Quinn muses the night before she's scheduled to leave, eyes closed and voice raspy. "You're just going to miss my body."
Said body is currently sprawled out beside Rachel on their impossibly large bed, a little red from where Rachel got a little too enthusiastic leaving numerous signs to everyone the woman encounters in the next few days that Quinn is taken.
As if the wedding rings don't do that enough.
Rachel kisses the skin over her heart. "I'm going to miss you," she murmurs. "Just you. Everything about you."
"What are you going to miss?" Quinn asks, and the question sounds genuine.
Rachel kisses her skin again, lips leaving a trail towards her collarbone. "I'm going to miss the way you watch me get dressed every morning," she murmurs.
Which is true. It's one of her favourite things, feeling Quinn's eyes on her where she remains in their bed. Quinn looks at her with something like wonder and devotion, and that look alone is enough to get her through each trying day.
"What else?" Quinn asks, breath hitching as Rachel licks over the skin of her neck.
"I'm going to miss the way you always know the right playlist to play for me," she tells her. It's really a superpower Quinn has, being able to take just one look at her and know what music she needs to hear. "I'm going to miss the way you mumble to yourself when I forget to hang up my towel."
Quinn groans. "God, that drives me insane."
Rachel slides her left hand down the line of muscles of Quinn's abdomen. "These drive me insane," she whispers, teeth nipping at Quinn's earlobe.
"Ah," Quinn sounds; "so it is about my body."
Rachel kisses her smile. "I'm definitely going to miss your body," she admits, because she truly is. "Your mouth and your lips. I'm going to miss your smile and the feel of your breath against my skin. I'm going to miss your taste and that sound you make when I touch you just right."
"Rachel," she breathes.
"I'm going to miss your warmth," she continues; "and how it feels to sleep wrapped in your arms every night." She nuzzles Quinn's cheek, feeling her mouth pull into a bigger smile. "I'm going to miss the way you love me as if I'm something precious."
Quinn opens her eyes and turns her head. "You know I'm not going to love you any less when I'm not physically here, right?" she says. "I'm just going to have to show it to you in a different way."
Well.
Rachel doesn't quite figure out what she means by that until Quinn has been abroad for three days and a massive bouquet of flowers gets delivered to the hospital for her. She's not exaggerating about the massive part, and even Jesse does a double-take when he sees the enormity of the vase.
"Well, now I just feel inadequate," he comments.
Rachel just stares at it. "I don't even know how I'm supposed to get it home," she says, thinking about possibly taking this gigantic thing on the subway. She'll have to take a cab.
"Is she apologising for something?" Jesse asks, and Rachel looks questioningly at him. "I mean, that's why spouses usually get flowers, right?"
"That's why men get flowers," she points out. "Did you know that women actually buy more flowers than men do? To give to one another."
"Why do you know that?"
She ignores him. "And, no, she's not apologising for anything," she says. "She's just telling me she loves me."
"There are easier, cheaper ways," he points out.
She gently pats his cheek. "See, St James, this is why we got divorced."
Quinn sends pictures whenever she has good connection, and Rachel gets snapshots of amazing landscapes, selfies with other doctors and even a few of the locals. There are a lot of pictures of the food she's trying, and Quinn always adds the words, I'm definitely bringing you back here.
They don't get the chance to talk over the phone too often, with both their schedules and the time differences, but every piece of contact is something Rachel cherishes.
She misses Quinn something terrible, and she can't stand the silence of their home. The cold of their bed.
Which is why she picks up extra shifts at the hospital, working herself into an alarming weariness until Santana - Santana - tells her to pack it up and go home.
"You're no use to anyone dead on your feet," Santana tells her. "And Quinn would kill me if I let you burn yourself out while she's away."
Rachel blinks blearily at her from where she's been reading the same words on a chart for the past fourteen minutes. "She asked you to keep an eye on me."
"It seems you need it," Santana deflects. "She's been gone barely two weeks, and you've had how many hours of sleep, hmm?"
"Nineteen."
Santana stares at her, and then shakes her head. "Go home, Little Berry," she says. "I've seen enough of your face for one day."
Rachel feels a little pathetic, really, missing Quinn so much. Still, she does as instructed and goes home, crawls into bed, hugs a pillow to her chest and desperately tries not to think about her wife half a world away.
Beth visits the second weekend Quinn is gone, and Rachel just knows Quinn sent her.
Rachel says, "I do know how to take care of myself, you know."
Beth takes one look around the living space - which, okay, it could look less like a disaster - and then goes to the kitchen. She dumps her grocery bags on the table and turns to look at Rachel.
"I'm just here to cook," Beth says. "We both know you've been eating takeout or not eating at all, so I'm going to make three bulk dishes and then pack and freeze them to last the next two weeks."
Rachel wants to be irritated, but a home-cooked meal sounds heavenly right now. With a pout, she drops into a kitchen chair and watches Beth get started. It isn't even as if Rachel can't cook - she has a list of five recipes she can do really well, thank you very much - but she just doesn't feel like it. It's hard to cook for one, now that she's so used to there being two.
Beth just seems amused by her. "I mean, I was sure it was going to be tough for you two, but you're both so miserable."
Rachel raises her eyebrows. "Quinn's miserable?"
Beth laughs. "She's seriously considered changing her flight three times already," she tells Rachel. "I don't - it just doesn't make sense to me."
Rachel shrugs, because it doesn't necessarily make sense to her either. They lived apart for so long - basically their entire lives - and now they're these hopeless wrecks being apart from each other for a few days.
"I wouldn't know what to tell you," Rachel says. "Maybe it's because the last time we were apart, we weren't... together. I mean, we were, but not in the official way, and I - I guess I'm just so used to her." Her gaze meets Beth's over the top of the onions she's dicing. "If anyone understands how it feels to want nothing more than just to have her around, I would think it would be you."
Beth freezes, her movements stilling. Her expression shifts several times before she nods. "I suppose I do," she finally says, quiet enough that it could be a secret. "She told you about that?"
Rachel nods.
"I didn't think I would ever be someone to break her heart until I said what I said," she says, caught in the memory. "I - I mean, I didn't actually mean it, I don't think." She looks pensive. "It just felt - I felt as if I had to do anything to keep her, you know? Like, at that point in our lives, she was getting ready to go, and I couldn't stand the thought of that."
Rachel can sympathise with that. She's sure she would have done something similarly abrupt. The day she read Quinn's resignation letter, she too had quit, in some perverse attempt to keep Quinn.
"You don't feel that way anymore, right?" Rachel asks.
Beth shakes her head. "I told you," she says. "She's staying, Rachel. She's exactly where she's meant to be." She grins in that way that's similar to Quinn and spells only mischief. "I didn't even have to relapse this time," she says; "she just had to marry you."
Seriously.
It's like being a little shit runs in their blood.
Quinn has been away for twenty-four long, never-ending days when Henry comes into the Emergency Room with what started a rapidly-grown tumour obstructing his bowel and graduated into a perforated bowel. He's in so much pain, crying for his parents, crying for Rachel, and crying for Quinn. Howling. Screaming for the pain to stop. Begging.
The Emergency Room is overwhelmed when Henry is brought in behind a seven-car pile-up, and Rachel doesn't get to him soon enough before the worst of it has already begun. She has to take only one look at him, and it's decided on the spot. He needs surgery. Immediately.
Everything is rushed from then on, and he looks at her with pleading eyes, blood red and filled with tears, and she smooths his hair back when they're putting him to sleep. "It's going to be okay," she whispers to him. "When you wake up, I promise the pain will be gone."
He blinks up at her, relief hitting him as the drugs do. He drifts off a moment later and Rachel physically has to stop herself from dropping a kiss to his forehead.
The thing is.
There was a doctor she worked with once who told her she should never make promises. The man meant it in the sense that it could lead to a malpractice lawsuit, but Rachel has heeded it in the sense that she wouldn't want to lie to her patients and their families.
Today, it turns out, Rachel Berry is a liar.
It is not okay.
Henry never wakes up.
They try. Dear God, do they try. They do everything they possibly can, even willing to pack him and try again when his little body has had time to recover from the initial trauma.
Rachel breaks her promise to him, and a part of her breaks, too.
Marley offers to be the one to bring the news to his parents, but Rachel shakes her head. They go together, and she remembers saying words but not what they actually were. She remembers holding back her own tears, forcing herself not to drop to her knees and beg this couple who have just lost their baby boy for forgiveness.
She has little memory of what happens next, her feet carrying her away from their dual sobbing. Marley says something, she says something back, and then she's walking away. Somewhere far from here.
It's like she's underwater.
She can barely breathe.
She's lost patients before. Each one is heartbreaking in its own way, but Rachel can't foresee how she recovers from this.
Quinn.
She needs Quinn.
She fumbles with her phone, her hands shaking, and she can barely see the screen through her tears. She hits her speed dial, praying Quinn answers. She just - she needs -
"'Ello." Quinn sounds half asleep, probably because she is. She must have been sleeping. Rachel will feel guilty about it later.
"Quinn," she says, just the one word, and she knows Quinn will understand. They once talked about it: the way a doctor's voice can sound when they lose a patient.
The way Rachel's voice sounds right now.
Quinn shifts. "Baby," she says, and she sounds alarmingly alert for having been asleep a minute ago. Then she asks, "Who?"
Rachel doesn't think she'll be able to say his name, but she still tries. "Henry." It comes out pained, broken and her voice cracks halfway through.
Quinn sucks in a sharp breath, because Henry is - was -
God.
"Baby," Quinn says, and she sounds like she's moving now. "Where are you? Who's with you?"
Rachel looks around. She's standing in an empty corridor. Alone.
Her silence must be answer enough.
"Okay," Quinn says. "Okay, my love. Just breathe for me. Breathe with me."
Rachel does. She does exactly as Quinn says, her phone pressed to her ear as Quinn talks her through the next twenty minutes of her life. It's a weird thing, feeling both so far away from Quinn and still so close to her.
Somehow, she's able to get changed out of her scrubs and get her belongings to go home. Home. Where she'll be alone.
Quinn says, "I'm right here," right into her ear.
It is probably some kind of miracle that she manages to get home, and she arrives on their floor to find Jesse waiting at the door with a sad smile and a massive box of tissues.
"Quinn," she whispers into her phone.
"Are you home?" Quinn asks. "Is he - "
"I love you so much," she says, cutting her off. "I just - I wish you were here."
"I know, my love," Quinn whispers. "Me too."
After crying her eyes out, Rachel falls asleep in Jesse's arms and wakes in Quinn's.
At first, she's convinced she's dreaming. She's exhausted enough that it wouldn't be the first time she's dreamt of Quinn since she's been gone.
But this time is different. Quinn has a distinct scent that even her dreams can't conjure, and Rachel's eyes snap open when her own fist closes around fabric of a familiar sweater.
It's Quinn.
Quinn is in their bed, still wearing her boots as she sleeps beside her. Rachel stares at her in disbelief, trying to figure out how this could possibly be. She's quite certain Quinn was on another continent just last night. But -
Quinn must feel her stare, because her eyes blink open a moment later. They widen when she sees that Rachel is awake, and then she smiles a little shakily. "Baby," she whispers.
Rachel immediately burrows into her, feeling like the world has shifted and resettled in this moment. It - Quinn is here. She's here.
"You're here," she mumbles into Quinn's sweater.
Quinn's hands rub her back soothingly. "Of course, I'm here," she says. "There is nowhere in this world I am meant to be other than right here."
"You came home for me."
Quinn presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I will always come home for you," she vows, and it's one of the most romantic things Quinn has ever said to her.
Rachel shifts back to look into her eyes. "I'm sorry," she says.
Quinn blinks. "For what?"
"I couldn't save him."
Quinn seems to deflate. "I know, and Henry knows, and his parents know you did everything you could," she says.
"It wasn't enough."
Quinn hums. Rachel knows she knows this feeling. There are always those patients that stay with you. Haunt you.
"I promised him," Rachel whispers. "I told him the pain would be gone when he woke up."
Quinn holds her close, arms wrapped around her body. "The pain is gone," she says.
The words don't help, but they also do, in a sense. It's mainly Quinn's presence. Everything is better when Quinn is here.
They attend Henry's funeral together, their hands clasped tightly the entire time. Rachel thought she was all cried out, but she's wrong. It's definitely not the first funeral she's been to, and likely won't be the last, but this one strikes a cord within her that cannot be ignored.
After they've paid their respects, Rachel asks Quinn if they can visit the hospital site, and Quinn agrees. They must be a sight themselves, dressed in all black and eyes puffy from their tears, but Rachel doesn't care what anyone thinks.
Obviously, Rachel has visited in the days Quinn has been gone, but this is the first time Quinn is seeing the progress they've made since she's been away. It's the weekend, so the site is empty, and they're able to explore in peace.
They've spoken endlessly about the design, even going so far as to hire their interior design firm long before they can even get started. Rachel knows she wants a lot of colour, and Quinn agrees. Any excuse for endless rainbows and unicorns, really.
What she also knows, though, is what she wants this hospital to be called.
"I have a confession," Rachel says, spinning slowly as she takes in the main atrium.
Quinn watches only her, soft smile on her face.
"I think, in some ways, I kept myself slightly distanced from all of this," she says. "It - it feels like your baby, you know? Your dream we're putting together, and I'm just along for the ride."
Quinn looks predictably distressed by this, but Rachel manages to smile at her.
"It's okay," she assures her. "It was just how it felt, though I know it's not true. There was just this odd disconnect. Maybe because I'm not as involved in the day-to-day, because I still work elsewhere, and I - it just felt different, and I was okay with it." She moves towards Quinn now, eyes meeting hers. "My stance has changed."
Quinn remains perfectly still.
"Henry came into our Emergency Room in unbearable pain, and it took them twenty-six minutes to figure out he was mine so I could get to him. Twenty-six minutes we will never get back. Twenty-six minutes that we will never know if they could have saved his life."
Quinn looks down, her expression shifting to something that resembles guilt. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I - if I were still running the ER, we both know that wouldn't have happened."
"Oh, sweetheart," Rachel murmurs, getting close enough to touch Quinn. Her right hand lifts up to cup her cheek. "I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad about something we both know was already fated to happen."
"Then, why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because I want in," she says. "Properly. Fully. I want - I want to save them all. I want our little people to come to this hospital and be our priority. I want them to be able to wake up. They should get to go home."
Quinn's head tilts a little to the side, waiting, because it's obvious Rachel isn't done.
"I also want this to be the Henry Garcia Memorial Hospital." The declaration is rushed, the words basically pouring out of her, and she's certain she'll burst into tears if Quinn doesn't agree.
Quinn reaches for her and pulls her into a hug. "Then this shall be the Henry Garcia Memorial Hospital."
"Do you have to go back?"
Quinn looks up from her iPad that's balanced on her stomach. She just looks so comfortable sprawled out on their couch, hair in a messy ponytail and glasses on her face.
Rachel, in turn, is standing between their kitchen and living area, cup of tea in her hand. "Do you have to go back?" she asks again. "To wherever you were before you came home?"
Quinn shifts her tablet off her stomach and sits up to look at her properly. "I do, yeah," she says. "I didn't manage to visit every place I needed to."
"Oh."
Quinn pats the space beside her. "Come sit with me a moment," she says; "there's something I want to run by you."
Rachel hesitates because the idea of Quinn's leaving again is making her feel physically ill. Still, she goes, drawn to Quinn in a way she's not willing to resist.
Quinn reaches for her cup of tea and sets it on the low table. "I've been thinking," she says, reaching for Rachel's hands once she's settled. "Maybe you'd like to come with me."
"What?"
"Just get away, the two of us, for a little while," Quinn says. "We can turn it into a little trip."
"Where would we go?"
Quinn smiles, visibly allowing her excitement to seep through. "South Africa," she says. "I have quite a bit of work to do when we arrive, but it shouldn't take more than a few days. We can spend the rest of the time on vacation."
"When would we leave?"
"As soon as you're able to get time off." She looks oddly nervous. "Is that something you'd want?" she asks.
It's been an odd few days for Rachel, and she knows Quinn has been sensitive to it. She feels a little lost and she can't be certain why. She's sought Quinn's touch at every opportunity, but they haven't touched.
In another life, she knows their reunion would have been very different, but Quinn has been so careful with her, even a little wary. Rachel doesn't tend to handle grief very well, and she aches at the thought Quinn almost expects her to push her away again.
Rachel lifts a hand to touch her cheek, fingers featherlight against her skin. "Quinn?"
"Hmm?"
"Will you take me to bed?"
Quinn blinks, because the question is purposeful. "I - are you sure?"
Rachel leans in to kiss her softly, just letting her lips linger over hers. "Take me to bed, Quinn."
Quinn looks a little dazed when she pulls away. "But, your tea," she murmurs.
Rachel laughs.
God, it feels like the first time she's laughed in so long.
She kisses Quinn again, harder, and then runs her fingers through her hair, loosening her ponytail. "If you don't take me to bed, we're going to do it right here," Rachel tells her, which is more than enough incentive for Quinn.
Their reunion might not have gone to plan, but Quinn more than makes up for it like a woman who hasn't had sex with her wife for almost six weeks.
She even breaks her record and hits a solid twelve.
Quinn throws herself headlong into work while Rachel tries to negotiate some time off. One would think she'd have an in, given her father, but she's determined to keep their relationship strictly professional.
Rachel isn't quite okay, which they've both acknowledged, and she keeps herself as far away from a surgical rotation while she works through how losing Henry has affected her. There's a worrying resentment that's settled into her bones whenever she steps into the hospital.
She wonders if this is what Quinn used to feel, but in regards to Beth.
This hospital failed Henry, and it's a thought that constantly pings in her head. She knows it, Quinn knows it, and she gets the feeling Blaine knows it, too, because he's carefully stayed out of her way since the funeral.
Quinn keeps her grounded, though, constantly texting with all new ideas for the hospital, and for potential branding. There is something settling about the idea of Henry being a part of their new venture, because he was part of so much else between the two of them.
Quinn confided in him about her desire to marry Rachel, and that is something they'll always have.
And they also have this: Henry's favourite colour was blue and his favourite animal was the giraffe, and those two things come together to form the final insignia for the hospital. Rachel cries when she first sees it, just a screenshot on Quinn's phone, and it all just cements the feeling they're doing the right thing.
"You know, we'll actually get to see real giraffes when we're in South Africa," Quinn comments as she hands her a tissue.
"Honey, you don't have to keep trying to sell it to me," she says with a soft smile; "I already said yes."
Quinn rolls her eyes as she leans in to kiss her cheek. "I think it'll work out nicely if we go after the reception," she says. "Treat it like a working honeymoon."
"Don't call it that."
"Okay."
Rachel wipes her eyes dry, sighing heavily. "But, yeah, that makes sense," she says. "Book the tickets. I'll make it happen."
"That should be the hospital's motto, you know," she says. "Make it happen."
Rachel isn't completely sold, but the sentiment remains. They'll figure it out. They have the time and the means, and they're going to do it perfect and right.
For Henry.
Beth turns into something of a heathen the closer they get to the reception date. All Rachel and Quinn really have to do is get through their fittings and then show up on the day.
As long as there's Quinn's desired massive cake, Rachel is going to be there. Well, she'd be there for Quinn, anyway, but the cake makes it infinitely better. More incentive and all that.
When Quinn gets stressed, she gets quiet. It was strange the first time Rachel figured that out. She just stopped talking and endlessly moving. She goes very still, her mind on a constant loop over what she still has to get done.
One of the ways Rachel's learned to get her to relax - besides the obvious - is to talk to her about surgery. Quinn is a surgeon at heart, and she's been out of the operating room for months. Sometimes, you just need to cut.
Rachel even contemplates scheduling a surgery for her, but she has to settle for putting on a filmed operation on their television screen. Quinn finds them weirdly soothing, and Rachel just wants to keep her sane. Quinn already does so much for her, and Rachel wants to do the same.
It helps.
Rachel doesn't even know where all Quinn's stress is coming from until she comes home one night, places a bound wad of paper in her lap and says, "The Spencer Foundation is proud to present the Henry Garcia Memorial Hospital for Children, slated for opening on November fifteen."
Rachel's breath gets stuck in her throat, because -
Because.
"That's Henry's birthday," Rachel whispers, staring down at the laminate page in front of her. The branding is beautiful, the font chosen by her some weeks ago. Henry's name is proudly on display, and -
"Quinn," she says, looking at her with wide eyes. "It's happening."
"It's happening," Quinn confirms.
Her eyes widen further. "Quinn."
"What?"
"We should probably talk to Henry's parents."
In hindsight, they probably should have done this before they decided to centre their project around a young, effervescent boy lost too soon. It's not as if she expects Henry's parents to have a problem - she hopes, at least - but it would really create a logistical nightmare if they were absolutely against it.
Rachel spied their marketing budget, and it's really ten times what she thought if could possibly be.
Rachel hasn't seen Roberto and Amanda Garcia since the funeral, but they've known each other for years. Since Henry became her patient when she arrived at New Budapest Hospital. It isn't even the first time she's been in their house.
It is Quinn's, though, and she's visibly unfamiliar. Out of her usual element.
But it's okay.
This time, Rachel is going to take the lead.
Bobby looks happy to see them, which helps, and Amanda offers tired smiles and excuses for the mess. They have two other children, both older than Henry was, and Rachel imagines it is still an adjustment for them all.
Amanda offers drinks, and Bobby and Quinn talk about baseball for a moment. It's strange and also not, but Rachel eventually has to get to the point of their visit and it happens rather naturally.
Bobby is the one who first mentions Henry, glancing nervously at his wife as if he's worried she won't be able to handle it. Amanda reaches for his hand, squeezing tightly, and Rachel uses the opportunity to bring up the hospital. They're really the first people outside of the design team and hospital board to learn about its confirmed existence.
Amanda cries, which was expected. Rachel cries, too, and then Quinn cries as well - claiming she's a sympathetic crier.
Bobby asks what would be expected of them, having Henry's name on the building.
"Nothing," Rachel informs them, because she's already taken so much from them. "Just your blessing."
It is given, easily, and Rachel and Quinn leave feeling lighter and more purposeful a half-hour later. Promises to keep them updated are made, and Quinn mentions to Rachel that they should make the Garcia couple honorary members of the Board. No actual power, just a title.
Rachel hums her agreement, reaching for Quinn's hand and bringing her to a stop where she's practically motoring down the street towards their next destination. It's almost comical the way she halts, her arm extending, and she turns to face Rachel with a quizzical expression.
"It's happening," Rachel says. "It's really happening."
Quinn smiles like it's a secret. "It is, my love."
Rachel steps closer to her, right into her personal space. "We're making it happen."
Quinn's expression shifts into a shit-eating grin.
"What?"
"Make it happen, huh?"
Rachel laughs, pressing a kiss to the corner of Quinn's mouth. "It's growing on me."
With an opening date set, they both know the next few months are going to be crucial. The fine details to the functional aspects and aesthetics of the hospital are normally the most time-consuming and expensive, and Quinn is involved in everything.
Rachel receives hourly texts asking for her opinions, and she spends moments between patients and surgeries looking at paint colours and kid-sized chairs.
With an opening date set, advertising and marketing takes over, and the general public is finally made aware of the Children's Hospital coming to the area. And, with it, Rachel knows will be job applications and additional scrutiny.
It is a beautiful thing to watch her father slowly lose his mind worrying over his prized doctors wanting to jump ship. There's a certain tension that seeps into the air of the hospital, and Rachel enjoys it far too much.
Jesse is the first to bring it up to her, saying, "Isn't the Spencer Foundation where Quinn's working these days?"
Rachel nods behind her coffee, attention split between him and her phone, where a member of the public relations' team has emailed about her working title at the hospital. Hmm. That's something she and Quinn should probably discuss.
Jesse snaps his fingers in front of her face. "Babe, your wife is literally opening another hospital."
Rachel looks at him. "I do know that," she says, looking bemused. "She's been working on it for a while."
"Is that why she left her job here?"
"Partly."
Jesse seems to ponder that, and then narrows his eyes. "You're a paediatric surgeon," he states.
"I am."
"And your wife is opening a children's hospital."
"She is."
Jesse sighs. "You're abandoning me."
On another day, she might continue to mess with him, but there's something in his voice that stops her. "I wouldn't call it abandoning you, but it is my intention to take up a position there, yes."
"Your father would never let you."
"Do you know I have a release clause in my contract?"
"What?"
"A release clause," Rachel explains. "Basically, a monetary number a future employer could pay to buy me out of my contract."
"Please don't tell me your wife is literally going to buy you."
Rachel chuckles. "It's fine," she says with a wave of her hand. "She can afford it."
Jesse looks at her. "Do you think she can afford me?" he asks, and he sounds only half-serious.
"Apply for a job," she says. "Who knows what'll happen?"
"Who's in charge of hiring, anyway?" he asks.
Rachel frowns, because, huh, she doesn't actually know.
"Cassandra July?" Rachel doesn't mean to shriek, but the name comes out high-pitched and panicked, and Quinn almost drops her coffee where she's just taking a sip. "Cassandra July?"
Quinn just blinks at her. "Um." She sets her cup on the table. "You know her?"
"Please tell me you did not hire Cassandra July as the Chief of HG Memorial."
Quinn opens her mouth to speak, and then immediately closes it.
"Quinn."
"I don't really know what's happening right now," she says. "I mean, technically, I didn't hire anyone, you know. The Board decided from a list of candidates. She must have impressed them."
"Oh, my God."
"What? What's wrong?"
"Do you remember when I told you about that one crazy Attending I had who basically scarred me for life when I was still a Resident?"
"Yes..."
Rachel raises her eyebrows.
"Let me guess," Quinn says. "Dr Cassandra July."
"She's batshit, Quinn."
Rachel moves towards her, ignoring the seat beside her and rather settling right in her lap. "I'm sure she'll take HG Memorial far," she says. "But, dear God, it's going to be a ride."
"If it's going to be a problem for you, then I can have them find someone else," Quinn tells her, sounding genuine.
"No," Rachel says, arms around Quinn's neck. "I think she'll be a good fit. Henry would have loved her; would have found her hilarious."
"She does seem colourful."
"Oh, Honey, you have no idea."
Quinn's hands settle on her waist. "You mentioned you don't know what title to put on your business card," she says.
"Firstly, why do we even need business cards?"
Quinn shrugs. "It's a thing, apparently," she says. "But, according to the latest list of employees, you are Head of Paediatric General Surgery."
"Oh."
"What?"
"If I'm Head of Paediatric General Surgery, then what are you?"
"I'm a Trauma surgeon, Rachel," she says.
"But you're also a Paediatric surgeon," she points out.
"Maybe you'll be my boss," Quinn says with a grin. "Wouldn't that be fun?"
"I married you," Rachel quips; "I'm already your boss."
Quinn kisses her cheek. "How about we worry about job descriptions and all that after this weekend, okay?" she suggests. "I'm keen to get married to you again, and then jet off to some foreign land and just enjoy some time with you."
Rachel meets her gaze. "What would you do if I suggested we abstain until our wedding night?"
Quinn looks predictably horrified at the mere thought, and Rachel bursts out laughing. "Please don't say such things," Quinn says. "Don't even put something like that into the Universe."
"It's only five days."
"Rachel," Quinn says. "No."
"Don't you think you can do it?"
"I can do it, but I really don't want to, and there is absolutely no reason to put us both through that."
Rachel grins, thoroughly enjoying Quinn's reaction. "I don't know," she says. "It might be good for us."
"No, it won't."
"Definitely make our wedding night more exciting."
"I can assure you it's already going to be exciting, either way."
Rachel opens her mouth to add fuel to this fire, but Quinn silences her with a kiss. It's purposeful, meant to tell her to drop the subject. It's really just very funny, and she laughs out loud when Quinn gets to her feet, all while still holding onto her in an impressive display of strength, her intent clear as she carries her towards their bedroom.
Okay.
Hmm.
Maybe Quinn would be able to abstain that long, but Rachel suddenly isn't so sure of herself.
There are vows this time.
Initially, there wasn't meant to be any kind of ceremony, but Beth slipped it onto the agenda for the day, and she is the one to stand with the couple and pronounce them wife and wife for the second time, unofficial as it is.
Rachel says, "We've done many things in the wrong order," with an amused smile, tears in her eyes. Quinn just looks so beautiful, perfect in a way that Rachel can't imagine looking away from her. "Everything happening in its own time, just to get us to this very point in our lives. Together. Happy." Her lips tremble as she speaks. "I wasn't sure we would ever get here. When we met, God, you were such a pain."
There's a bout of laughter from their small congregation, a lot of people all too aware of just how much of a pain Quinn was.
"I couldn't imagine being married to you; being exclusive and part of this serious, everlasting relationship," Rachel says. "But you've always known we'd end up here, and I'm so glad you're so stupidly persistent and annoying and so beautiful." She shakes her head. "Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for continuing to love me while I caught up to you; while I figured out that all I want in life is to be happy and fulfilled, with you by my side. Thank you for being everything I need, and everything I want. Because you are, Quinn." She chokes on the tears she won't allow to fall. "You truly are everything."
In return, Quinn says, "I probably should have gone first, because I don't know how to follow that," and there's more laughter. She clears her throat. "I don't think you actually believe me when I tell you I knew we would end up here from the moment we met, but I'll continue to remind you I've known along I would love you forever."
Her spine straightens, her posture severe. "And, today, I get to stand up here in front of all our people and gush about how much I love you until Beth calls us gross." She winks at Beth, and then meets Rachel's gaze again. "There was a time in my life when I would have run from this. Letting people in wasn't something I would have done until I met you.
"I met you, and a lot of things started to make sense. I met you, and I understood what all the fuss was about love and relationships and spending your life with your ride-or-die meant-to-be. I met you, and I finally understood what it meant to find your home in someone." She smiles shakily. "Thank you for giving me that. Thank you for giving me you."
In all honesty, Rachel didn't expect the day to be so emotional, but there are tears and more tears, and she and Quinn aren't even the only ones.
She swears she spots even Santana wiping at her eyes.
After, there's finally food and music, the party getting into full swing as they can finally celebrate their nuptials with all the important people in their lives.
All.
Rachel debated endlessly over inviting LeRoy, but eventually decided to do it and leave the ball in his court. Neither she nor Quinn has received an apology from him, and she doesn't think either of them will. Not without actually asking for one.
It was a shock when he RSVPd, and Rachel designated Hiram on LeRoy duty, which he was all too willing to do, delighting in the idea of keeping his ex-husband in line.
It's a great day, despite everything. There are speeches from Hiram and Beth, and there's endless dancing. The food is a mixture of all their favourites, and the cake, of course, has plenty of berries in its filling.
Rachel wouldn't compare this wedding to her one to Jesse in the sense of grandeur, because it's an unfair comparison. That wedding had been a spectacle for other people, and this one is designed solely for Rachel and Quinn.
They have expensive taste, it seems, and Rachel suspects their friends who were unaware of Quinn's finances will have a better idea of just what Rachel has married into by the end of the night.
They are about to spend three weeks on safari in South Africa.
But, first, their wedding night is spent in the Hampton house, their selected room decked out with candles and rose petals to give the impression of a honeymoon suite. Rachel doesn't know how comfortable Quinn will be doing anything of significance with the knowledge Beth and Marcella are asleep in another room just down the hall, but -
Well.
Quinn says, "A wedding night is a wedding night," and so makes it her mission to make Rachel scream.
As far as a honeymoon goes, there are definitely worse places to be.
Majority of Quinn's work is in Johannesburg, and Rachel accompanies her for some of her visits to various Spencer Foundation sponsored clinics and orphanages.
Rachel has travelled a bit in the past, but it's her first time in Africa, and it is so much more than she ever could have imagined. Diverse and beautiful, the land and the people. She learns very quickly why they call it the Rainbow Nation.
She loves meeting people, talking to them and just hearing them speak.
Especially the children.
Quinn works, talking to adults and all the important people responsible for running the non-profits, and Rachel plays with the little human beings.
There are worse ways to spend her honeymoon, that's for sure.
Quinn, thankfully, isn't all work the first few days. They explore restaurants and the history of the city rather extensively. Quinn even hires a car one day, and then spends a full hour complaining about having to drive on the wrong side of the road.
Their first weekend, they go to Sun City, and spend two nights staying at the Palace. It's grand and beautiful, and Rachel takes a moment to get used to the idea that she's married to someone who can afford to spend that much money on a single hotel room.
She's convinced sex among such expensive sheets must feel different, and she's not entirely wrong.
They indulge in local food, take a flight in a hot air balloon with copious amounts of champagne, and Quinn even jokes about playing a round of golf... which Rachel immediately shoots down. Instead, they take to the water, riding jet skis and water-surfing.
The part that bothers her, though, is that she's suddenly very aware of the fact she's one half of a homosexual couple. New York is starkly different when it comes to its perceived acceptance, and she can't help that there is a hesitance that creeps into her interaction with Quinn when they're in public.
Quinn notices, because of course she does, but she doesn't bring it up until they're back in the city and she's back at work. They're spending a night in, food service sent up to their room, and Quinn hesitantly says, "You know it's not illegal here, right?"
Rachel does know that, yes, but that doesn't mean it's widely accepted, either. In fact, Rachel can count on one hand the number of same-sex couples she's seen out and about, and it's actually rather deflating.
"I know," Rachel says, sighing.
Quinn tops up their wine glasses. "Okay."
"You never introduce me as your wife, though," Rachel points out. "Always just as your partner."
"I also do that in New York," Quinn tells her.
"But for a different reason."
Quinn can't dispute that, so she doesn't. It is different here. Rachel expected it would be, but there's a difference between expecting and actually experiencing it.
"Is that something you've thought about?" Rachel asks.
"What?"
"The Foundation, I mean, providing support for LGBTQ+ people in all these other countries," she says. "I mean, it's taken years for the US to get to where it is, and that isn't even very far, so it just - what about here, you know? Or all those other places you've been? Would we be persecuted in those places?"
Quinn takes a large gulp from her wine glass before she sets it aside and crawls across the couch to hover over Rachel. "There are other branches to the Foundation," she says, and then carefully settles her weight onto Rachel. She presses a kiss to her cheek, and then her neck. "Diversity is not part of my job."
Rachel sighs when Quinn's lips trail over her collarbone. "Quinn, you're a lesbian," she says, fingers sliding into Quinn's hair. "It's always going to be part of your job, whether you get paid for it or not."
Quinn hums against her skin. "What do you want me to do?"
"Introduce me as your wife and give the people around you the evidence that you can love who you love and still be personable and successful in the job you're doing."
Quinn lifts her head, her eyes meeting Rachel's. Her reluctance is clear to see, because they're both aware of how perceptions can change. "Okay," she finally says. "Okay."
Rachel pulls her head in, kissing her softly. And then harder and harder still. Quinn's hands move purposefully, and Rachel feels grounded at her touch.
"You are my wife," Quinn whispers to her, right into her ear. "My partner. You are my life." She turns her head, kissing her again. "I'll tell the entire world."
The entire world really boils down to the small team Quinn works with, and Rachel makes a point of bringing Quinn lunch while she's in the middle of a meeting.
It's honestly as awkward as Rachel expects, and she chooses to be amused by it rather than annoyed or worried. Quinn kisses her cheek on her way out, and then Rachel spends the rest of the afternoon helping the clinic's office workers catalogue all their remaining supplies.
In the evening, Quinn takes her to an early dinner at the Moyo Zoo Lake, and tells her, "A woman came to speak with me before I left tonight."
Rachel holds her breath, wondering if someone actually expressed disapproval of their brief display this afternoon.
Instead, Quinn says, "She said thank you, for showing her and the people she works with that it's okay and normal to be in a relationship with another woman."
Rachel can't hold back her smile. "Look at you."
"Look at you," Quinn returns. "You constantly amaze me."
Rachel doesn't usually blush - not much since they actually got married - but she does now, because there's something about the way Quinn is currently looking at her. "You're already getting laid; don't worry."
Quinn laughs, soft and pretty. "I wasn't worried."
Rachel hums. "I should ask, though," she says; "has your sex drive always been this high?"
Quinn slices a piece of her steak and puts it in her mouth. She looks contemplative, as if she's truly considering her response. Once she's chewed and swallowed, she says, "No."
Rachel just watches her, waiting.
"My first time was with Beth's, uh, father," she explains, her face pinching in discomfort. "I didn't try again until college, and I knew from then on that men probably weren't going to be in my future." She clears her throat. "I was rather timid in the beginning, figuring it all out. And then I did. I met this woman, Ava, who was - God, she was wild." She grins. "Baby, if you think I'm non-stop, then she would have put you in a coma."
Rachel just shakes her head, amused and trying not to feel uncomfortable about some other woman having touched Quinn in the past.
"But, she was - I don't know, she was good for me, I reckon. Taught me things; allowed me to explore my sexuality and use it to figure out who I am despite it, because of it and with it." She sips some of her water, slowly licking her lips. "She wasn't shy about her body, either. Or sex. She was European, you know? She told me that I didn't have to hide. That if I want it, then there's nothing wrong with that. It shouldn't matter that I'm a woman. I'm just as entitled to a healthy sex life as anyone else."
Rachel's foot slides along the floor to touch Quinn's, prodding it lightly. "You know I'm not complaining, right?"
Quinn looks away. "Would you tell me if it's too much?"
"I would," Rachel assures her; "which is why it's important that I haven't."
"Because you're as obsessed with me as I am with you?"
"Have you seen you?"
Quinn smiles like it's a secret and it's a familiar expression that Rachel has come to love. "I won't always look like this, you know?"
"I won't, either," Rachel points out. "Better get off as many times before everything starts to sag."
"You just get me," Quinn laughs, eating some more of her steak. It's such a massive cut that she's barely halfway through when Rachel has already finished her meal.
Rachel enjoys this relaxed side of Quinn. It's evident in every part of her body that she's on something like a holiday, and Rachel loves the look on her. Just, everything about her.
"I'm almost done, by the way," Quinn says.
Rachel shakes her head. "Don't worry," she says; "take your time."
Quinn looks momentarily confused, before she laughs. "No, not my dinner," she says. "With work, I mean."
"Oh?"
"Tomorrow, and maybe the next day, and then I'm all yours."
"You're already all mine."
Quinn grins at her. "That I am," she agrees. "As long as you know."
They visit the Kruger National Park next, spending several nights in two separate lodges and seeing every animal imaginable. Cheetahs and every type of deer there is. A pride of lions, and they even drive through so many elephants that Rachel has to force herself not to duck down and hide from them. She especially loves the zebras, and Quinn thinks the kudus are majestic.
The two of them go quiet whenever they see a giraffe, though, and Rachel wonders if Henry ever got to see one in real life.
Quinn obsesses over the birds they see, snapping endless pictures. She takes just as many pictures of Rachel, as well, always with this smile on her face that makes Rachel love her that bit more.
They meet so many people on their travels, both local and foreign. Quinn is sociable, sun-kissed and love-drunk, and she's purely magnetic. By now, Rachel should be used to the way people flock to her whenever she turns on the charm, but it still catches her off guard.
Everyone wants to talk to her, just to hear her speak. People invite her over to eat with them, constantly giving her alcohol and asking her about America. They're all appropriately surprised when she mentions she's a surgeon, and Rachel watches from the sidelines with her own glass of wine and falls in love with her along with everyone else.
Old people, and young.
Especially the tiny human beings, whom she buys ice creams for every day. Sometimes even twice a day.
Unlike Quinn, Rachel is more careful, spending time with some of the young mothers who watch Quinn interact with their children with amusement. There's one in a particular, whom she ends up sitting beside and watching with. She introduces herself as Michelle and says, "Those three are mine."
Rachel follows her gaze towards where Quinn is being chased by a young brunette girl, closely followed by a slightly older boy and an actual man.
"That's little Moira, and then Rob, and the man-child is Mickey," Michelle says, sounding amused.
"The blonde is mine," Rachel says, careful with her wording. She doesn't want to ruin Quinn's night if it just so happens there are homophobic people at this particular lodge. She's having such a great time, playing Hide and Seek with all the children in and around the various chalets.
"She's good with the kids," Michelle comments.
Rachel sips her wine. "She works with children," she says. "We both do."
"Paediatricians?"
Rachel raises her eyes in surprise. "I - surgeons, but yeah."
"She mentioned she was a doctor, but I wasn't sure what kind," she says. "I'm a dentist, myself, and my husband is a dermatologist." She laughs gently. "We actually met in medical school."
Rachel finds herself smiling, even though there's a part of her that figures Michelle must know she and Quinn aren't just a pair of women on some joint vacation. "Quinn and I met at work," she says, anyway. "We did not get along at first."
"Mickey tried to get me to do his schoolwork for him," Michelle says with a laugh. "It amazes me the things they do to get our attention."
Rachel audibly swallows. "Yeah."
Michelle glances at her. "You don't have kids, do you?"
"Not yet, no," she says, eyes watching Quinn interact with little Moira, who seems to have an endless amount of energy, constantly bouncing on her toes. "One day, though." She doesn't mention that it won't be something they'll decide easily. It can't be something that can just happen without significant planning. "She wants lots of them."
Michelle nods. "I'm convinced Mickey wants more," she says. "It's not going to happen, though. Two is more than enough."
"Three, you mean," Rachel says, and they share a laugh - especially when Mickey ends up tripping over an exposed root and landing on his behind. Moira's giggle is adorable, and Rob makes sure to snap a picture of his father as evidence.
"We're here with Mickey's family," Michelle says. "His sisters and their husbands who are visiting from the UK. I swear I'm the only one who's currently sober."
Rachel tips her wine glass in her direction. "For that, I must apologise."
"It's not nearly as much fun as I thought it'd be," she admits. "They're also terrible drunks, honestly. More of a handful than my actual children. It's a miracle when they actually end up sleeping in their own beds."
Rachel can't recall a time Quinn has been wilfully drunk in all the time she's known her. Not even at their wedding reception. She's a social drinker, sure, but there always seems to be a limit, and Rachel wonders if there's a reason for that for the first time.
"Is this your first time in South Africa?" Michelle asks after a moment.
"Mine, yes, but not Quinn's," she says. "Our first time at the Kruger, though."
"How are you liking it?"
"I'm loving it," she admits. "It's unlike anything I've ever experienced before."
"It's why we keep coming back," Michelle says. "Every year, like clockwork. Mickey books so long in advance that we plan our entire lives around it."
Rachel glances at Quinn. "I get the feeling we'll be back, too," she says, more to herself.
It's true, though. Quinn might not have expressed it verbally, but Rachel knows her well enough to know this is a place she's grown to love.
She merely confirms it when she returns to Rachel's side with Moira, both of them licking at orange popsicles and smiling toothily.
Rachel says, "You're going to spoil your dinner," at the same time Michelle says, "That doesn't mean you don't have to eat all your vegetables." The two women exchange a look and then burst out laughing.
Quinn looks between them, and then seems to smile that bit wider. She hands her unfinished popsicle to Rachel, who immediately takes it. Moira looks up at Quinn, and then at her popsicle, at her mother, and then back to Quinn. It takes a moment, but then she hands her own popsicle to Michelle, grins at them all, and then slips her hand into Quinn's and tugs her away.
Quinn just shoots Rachel a wink, and then Rachel and Michelle are left with unfinished popsicles and bemused smiles.
"What just happened?" Michelle asks her.
Rachel just shrugs as she brings the popsicle to her lips. "At this point, I don't ask questions," she says.
Michelle just laughs. "You'd think I would be at that point by now."
"Sometimes you need a reminder."
Michelle hums as she kicks back and brings her own popsicle to her lips. "Almost as good as wine," she comments, and Rachel's pretty sure she's found her favourite South African.
Rachel should expect it, but it still catches her by surprise when Quinn whispers, "I want a baby," in the dark of night. Quinn usually reveals these secrets and desires when she's half-asleep and comfortably wrapped around Rachel's body.
Rachel expects it, but she still has to force herself to breathe deeply.
"Not immediately," Quinn clarifies. "I know we have a lot going on at the moment, but I - God, Rachel, I want everything with you, and I - please tell me - "
Rachel reaches for her face, holding her cheeks and turning her head. "I already said yes, Quinn," she says. "I already said yes to everything."
Quinn sighs, her head turning into Rachel's touch.
"Let's open this hospital," she says. "Let's get settled and establish what we've spent all this time building, and then we can start trying for a baby, okay?"
Quinn nods slowly, and then smiles. "Well, I mean, we could start trying right now, couldn't we?"
Rachel laughs, so charmed by this woman who is constantly loving her. "I suppose we could, yes," she agrees, and then squeals when Quinn suddenly rolls onto her, sleep forgotten.
