Chapter 34: We are number one.
Asuka is without a doubt, one of the most asinine, stupid and downright psychopathic characters I have ever seen in not just Anime but anything.
The world is on the verge of destruction. Her survival and the survival of her entire species hinges upon her being able to work efficiently in a team with Shinji and Rei.
If the Angels win then there won't be anyone to give her the attention she so madly craves and she will also die a slow and painful death being eaten alive while her worst fears are shown to her (like that scene with Asriel).
Knowing this, you would think that Asuka would at least put her differences with Shinji and Rei aside at least until the crisis is over and the world is a bit safer.

Gendo also, for me at least is not sympathetic in the slightest.
He doesn't want to parent his son apparently because he had problems with his own parents. But here's the thing. When we love someone or something, we give them our time and energy. Even if Gendo did not want to spend time with Shinji, he could at least have explained why in the form of a letter or something.
He also had a vast fortune. He could at least have used some of the massive amount of money he has to give Shinji a better standard of living, which would still have made Shinji feel valued without needing to spend time with his son.

At the very least, he could have paid Shinji slightly more and moved Shinji to another apartment where Shinji will not be beaten apart by Asuka and insulted by Misato. He doesn't need to even look at his son to do that.

For those of you who think Shinji is selfish, note this.
Several times, Asuka swung a fist or feet hard enough into his face to draw blood. We actually see it in several episodes and movies.
Shinji didn't say a single word back to her, nor did he fight back in the slightest.
If he was really so selfish, would he have been able to hold his temper in so well?
Another character like Naruto would not take such crap lying down, nor would Kirito, Lelouch, nor Natsu who would all promptly retaliate with great force to put Asuka back in her place. Not Shinji. Because he knows that Asuka is important for mankind's survival and he must therefore tolerate her.

One more thing. While it's true that he is reluctant to pilot, the point remains that he still agrees to do it and that he still saves the world through it.
So while it may be true that he is an idiotic brat, he is an idiotic brat who through his actions and his alone saved all of mankind.
The world owes their lives to him considering how callously they ignore his plight.
Meanwhile Asuka can only boast a handful of victories compared to him, and because she punches him and impedes his piloting ability, she can even be argued to be a danger to the Earth.

Rudolf Von Stroheim POV
Each step hurt like hell's bells.
Wading through knee deep snow while more of the nasty white stuff pelted every inch of your skin while stinging your eyes was one of the few torturous experiences, I would compare to piloting an Evangelion.
But a thought back to the police's description of the adorable minor SEELE had in their wicked grasps, and burning zeal filled me with renewed strength to continue pressing onward, Misato tightly clutching my hand as if she never wanted to let go.

The old perverted Kaji you knew is long gone, my dearest Misato.
Worry no longer for not even hell will bar the way between us now.
My feelings for Ritsuko were but a shallow crush and I would never inflict such disloyalty to you ever again. May I drink the wrath of the almighty the day I break my promise to you.

We are rewarded with our boldness half an hour later, when we arrive at a small and rundown row of shops.
We are able through our esteemed statuses as former officers of NERV and our connections to the much-respected Shinji to receive a few freebies in the form of plain but satisfying hot tea for me, Misato and her stand, Aegis Seraphim.
The people of this country praise Shinji's name with a passion sadly lacking in Japan,
the emaciated young dark-haired owner of the empty Café tells us as he generously hands us our mugs filled to the brim.

The same exchange is able to be committed later as we humbly bow before the owner of a clothing department to voice our wholehearted motive for arriving in this dying land.
Tears blur our vision as we plead for the helpful man to believe that we have come in the name of peace.
That we have forsaken our barbaric roles in NERV to join the church.
Misato shows the still skeptical mustached top hat, the many marks she has racked up over the past month digging wells and plowing fields in the name of feeding the starving children she has taken upon herself to raise as her own.

Her stand though unable to speak, clasps its hands together and wordlessly bows its head.
This final gesture persuades him to give his complete assistance to our endeavor.
I had always loved a good disguise, even before becoming a double agent and I had the time of my life disguising myself and Misato in unique and artful styles I was certain even the sharpest of eyes could not hope to see past.

Our stand merely put on a thick fur coat, needing no concealment with how premature its sudden spark of existence had been.
It was easy for myself to decide upon a stylish military uniform of light purple including a sturdy pair of all terrain boots. A neat little monocle to my right eye could do harm.
A bit of hair puffer to really jazz up my coarse and unsightly head.
A couple of novelty medals and an iron cross later attached to my left chest, I was virtually indistinguishable from my true self.
All that was needed for me to top off my magnificent attire to truly deceive the utter fools of SEELE now was a simple nametag attached to my right chest.
On which I very reluctantly forced myself to neatly mark down my honorary title for this beyond easy mission of child's play.

"Rudolf Von Stroheim".

"Brrrrrrrrrrrraka Mono ga." The confidently grinning Nazi in the mirror holding his right arm in the frightful salute that had not been seen since the blissful end of the second world war.
"Doitsu No Kagaku sekai ichi"
Of course, I didn't believe a word of what I had just said to myself but chief Lorenz of SEELE with his big ego and little brain certainly would.
As well as Asuka with her miniscule intelligence level best compared to an ape.

Misato laughed at my melodramatic style as she presented me her chosen outfit.
A dark blue Karate Gi (Karate was a very popular spectator sport in Great Britain) edged with red, with a feminine dress to cover the legs instead of the typical masculine trouser that most Gi came with.
It was not until my stand, I and her left the service center and had gone a little way that I fully followed her train of thought.
In the most puzzled moment of my confusion, she finally humored me first by breaking a strong branch from a nearby sturdy tree of oak that had somehow stayed vitalized and firm in spite of the cold. She had left her Shinto Bo baton back in her church so this would have to suffice for now.

She showed of a few spins and twirls with the improvised polearm before stretching out her palm in front of my already thoroughly puzzled eyes.
Then she conjured not one but two brilliant balls of golden light, one in each hand the size of footballs before tossing it into the twenty-meter-tall oak whereupon it exploded into a dazzling display of flames and ash.

As the priests back in the ministry had explained based on what little observation, they had to base their facts upon, Stands also granted their users supernatural abilities based on their personalities and walks of life.
Misato had just unleashed two balls of life energy that required complete serenity and focus.
A duo of Chi balls. Chi being a mystical force of life only those who attained inner peace had access toward. The way she tied the back of her dark purple hair into a cute ball.
Add two Chi's together, and you got Chi Chi.

The sheer remorse and regret that caused her to fall to her knees as she lamented the death of the tree that her demonstration had caused.
It made great sense to me as I nodded knowingly and referred to her for the first time by her temporary alias that she had elected to slip into.

"That was amazing. Chi Chi. SEELE can't possible defeat the three of us together."
Chi Chi. A Saiyan but a gentle, pacifistic one that did not use unnecessary violence the way her far less civilized brethren thoughtlessly did.
Descended from a great ape like the other Saiayans but possessed of the same shrewdness and intellect as some of mankind's most valuable thinkers.
Well learned and Spiritually apt, two things Misato and even Sailor Mars were not but Chi Chi was while also packing frightening fighting prowess to boot.
The very definition of Bushido at its finest.

Chi Chi POV

"Let's go. "Stroheim" and Aegis Seraphim. Shinji needs me once more and there I will be.
Asuka is my mortal enemy and I have no mercy left in my broken heart to give to her now."

"You and me both. Chi Chi. You and me both. That Braka Mono Ga's days are numbered."

You wanted a fight Asuka? You will get one. Though be warned that my fighting ability has taken a steep incline and that defeating me will not be so easy.

The greatest contribution I ever made that I was most proud of in the time I reformed was not the suffering I had eased through my work for the orphans at the church.
It was the stained-glass window I dedicated to Shinji, depicting him with a Halo over his head and a white robe as he blasted a ray of lightning at the crimson clad Asuka who in the drawing, had a big and ugly pair of jagged horns over her head and razor teeth as well as a hissing snake for a tongue as she billowed out a burning flame from her mouth.

Everyone who came to my service was eager to ask of that particular window and I was never tired of regaling them with the truth of the great heroine they had all praised to high heavens, and the true hero they'd all despised without rhyme or reason till it was too late and he'd been driven away through our collective neglect and indifference.
Or in other words. How Shinji was a great saint while Asuka was a poisonous snake in the grass.

It is the image that even now, spurs me onward through this craziness.

We were not ready to face Asuka yet however.
There was still one more thing we needed.

A starved grey-haired entertainer with a bald scalp in a red and blue gaudy striped shirt stands sadly as he laments over what a miser lady luck has been to him. Again, no one has come to see his brilliantly refined balloon show.
I have no money with me and neither does Kaji or as he would prefer to be called in this moment, Stroheim who held Dio as his most bitter sworn enemy.

The Braka Mono Ga of the Kono Dio Da.

Instead, we take off our wedding rings and munificently gift them to him, promising that the silver contained within these reasonably fancy pieces of jeweler will no doubt fetch a high price at any jeweler he might happen upon on his travels.
Silver is the precious alloy second only to gold, I emphasize hoping to cheer him up in his distress.

Tears of joy streak down the struggling performer's thin and veiny face as he blows us both kisses and hurries away, leaving us with his patchy and worn but still perfectly functional balloon.
A can of paint rests snugly beside it. The performer had been in the process of repainting his pride in the hopes that a change in its appearance might be enough to put smiles on the children of this country's faces once more.
A good man.

Knowing even as we did that SEELE were but hours from achieving their atrocious plan, we calmly set to work to paint the face of a grinning cream cat complete with pointed ears and enlarged greedy eyes.
We mark a big, purple R beneath its goofy expression to finish driving home our point.

We know every last syllable of what we were about to say had been said before although by who we did not know. As Stroheim piloted our balloon closer to London through the stormy winds with my Stand huddling my arms for warmth and comfort, we intone in perfect unison anyway our sacred motto of complete honesty and pure intent.

Prepare for trouble.
And make it double.
To protect the world from devestation
To unite all people within our nations.
To denounce the evils of truth and lie
To extend our reach to the stars above

Chi Chi.
Stroheim
Team rocket blasts off to the speed of light.

Mmph. Mmph. Mmm. Mm.

I truly regretted how harshly I had ordered Shinji to shut up all the times he needed my sympathy the most.
Perhaps if I hadn't been so angry, Aegis Seraphim would have a mouth and be able to speak like normal.
Speaking of my stand, it seemed unusually weak today even in light of the freezing snow.

I swore I saw a drop of blood trickle from its nose just then.
I could only hope it was alright.

Team Rocket were kind and friendly.
The Twerp and his electrical mouse when he repeatedly ordered to give them cruel and destructive zaps that he knew first hand were dangerous and agonizingly hurtful, were the true villains.
He was the one who should have gone to jail and been clapped in chains.

First degree homicide via electrocution should have been his charges.

It was not legal in real life to push someone into an electrical pylon and watch them fry in torturous agony. Just as how unprovoked physical assault of any kind was banned under the anti violence act of 1969.
So what made this German Twerpette think she was above the law?
I would be sure to ask her when we met.

Right before I showed her that Japanese Culture still had as much a right to exist as German Culture, as she beheld the fury of my double Chi ball combo attack.
It was not wrong for her to prefer her homeland to ours. But for her to so flagrantly try to force her opinions onto others and brutalize them when they didn't agree was where she crossed the line. That was dictatorship. That was Facism.
And the improved modern world was a harmonious place of democracy and suffrage.
It was why the united nations was set up to ensure a tragedy on the scale of the world wars never happened again.

How could Asuka claim an A in history when she'd learned such elementary facts that even a pre-schooler knew perfectly well? What were Asuka's tutors in her childhood thinking when they graded her?
The world may never know.

Nunnally Vi Britannia POV

"I'm sorry I called you a demon Lelouch and how I disowned you after you used your Geass on me"

"I'm sorry that I didn't even have the common human decency to check you were alright after you fell out of your wheelchair trying to chase me down."

"I'm sorry I didn't just hand you the Damocles knowing you had the same idea as me."

"I'm sorry I used my Geass on you instead of just asking nicely."

"I'm sorry this apology is so long. Big brother." My voice on the verge of breaking as my legs turn to jelly despite Mari's borrowed body being so much stronger than my own.

"Me too little sister. Let's promise to never fight again and to stay with each other instead of going off by ourselves. No more hiding vital information from each other from this moment onward."

"It's the only way we'll get through what nasty surprise SEELE have cooked up for us next" I answer, surprised how my eyes have stayed dry throughout this entire confrontation as I let my legs give way to fall into Lelouch's arms.
The best part about having an able body with no disabilities wasn't that I could now see the beautiful green hair of C.C and the handsome short coal quaff of my brother.
Nor was it being able to conquer my long-despised enemy of stairs, which in my wheelchair bound state had taunted me without mercy.
Thought I had to admit that it was pretty awesome being able to race up the steps without once having to pause for breath with Mari's fit and carefully cared for physique.
Ain't no thang.

What really mattered. The only thing that mattered was that now when the legion of kidnappers who took me as easy prey came to recapture me and hold me hostage to hamper my brother's otherwise seamless plan, they would be served the sandwich of knuckles instead of the sandwich of success.
I cracked my or rather Mari's perfectly healthy knuckles before giving one of the metal beams in the cabin a forceful strike of untamed ferocity with a mighty battle cry.
I needed to demonstrate to Lelouch that I was not helpless.

The metal was snapped asunder and the jet lurched dangerously to the left, causing us all a bout of nauseous dizziness.
Lelouch backed away from me, hand over mouth.
Kallen held her arms up in a gesture of submissive conciliation.
Even the usually emotionless C.C er Snow held a thumbs up alongside a placard that read the perfect number of 10.

It took a combination of a strong and fit form alongside perfect vision to identify the weak spot in the thick metal girder to pull off such a stunt.
Something old and useless Nunnally was never capable of in her real body.
No more being the damsel in need of rescue. For the first time in my life, I was one of the elite rescuers.
This was a bigger accomplishment than when I won rulership over Britannia.
Now I could go on adventures with my big brother as a help rather than hinderance.
Shame it was only for this once before we returned to the world of the dead, but I was grateful for what I had.

Shirley Fenette POV

Haha. Get it? Fenette. Because Fenette sounds like fin and Fins are what fish use to swim around and fish live underwater?
The same place Squid people such as myself come from, oh forget it.
Did you think I was going to just let Kallen and Snow (AKA: C.C) get all the fun around our shared Casanova?

I may be dead too, but my appreciation for Lelouch's ardent sacrifices demands that I too pull some of my weight for this one important final task for us to accomplish before our souls find peaceful rest in the afterlife. I cannot pass on knowing I never once did anything useful for him while he broke his back for me. I'm not ungrateful. I'm not. I too was just too weak and cowardly to do anything and I want to change that now.

I've got to say, Squid Girl's tentacular hairstyle was very easy to style into a fairly similar fashion as mine when I still lived and breathed in the land of the living. A bit of chestnut orange paint and voila. Lelouch's beloved Shirley is back.
Good thing Squid girl pledged her loyalty to our cause and Shinji's. Lelouch's amazing harem wouldn't be complete without me.
So, Shinji Ikari? Now Lelouch has another alter ego for his admirers to fawn over. I expected nothing less of such a master tactician.

Squid girl deliberately waited until the final second before her Primarch Kaworu was about to set off.
She tapped his shoulder and he looked back to see that she had already outfitted herself accordingly and let her guiding soul enter her mind and body.
When he tried to protest that it was too dangerous and that she would be better off remaining here where it was safe, I let off a sad tear as I launched a bunch of my tentacular hair forward to lock him into a forceful chokehold.
Where I firmly grasped him till his face turned blue as a blueberry and his eyes had rolled as far as they humanly could to their sides.
Even his superhuman Angelic strength cannot free him.

"Call me weak again Suzaku, and next time I will not be so lenient" I tell Suzaku as I loosen the deadly grip just as he is on the verge of passing out.
"I'm not a damsel in distress, but a strong, independent heroine more than capable of lethality if you provoke me or threaten my loved ones."

"I am sorry for scorning your help. Milady. Please accept my sincerest apologies and my earnest promise to never underestimate you again."
The brown-haired bodyguard of Nunnally gags out as he immediately gives off a hasty curtsey.
His humility is his defining virtue that drew me to him.

It is then that I gesture for my group of fellow Squid people, the first to set feet on dry land since myself to come out from their hiding places now that I have decisively proved the point of the folk of the sea being deadly in equal measure as those of the land.
My inklings, as I would call them.
For while the armies of humankind formed platoons, we Squid people banded together in Splatoons.

My Splatoon whose tentacles were each of different colors, one orange, one green, one pink, one purple, one grey and one of every other hue and visual tone you could care to request gave our already incredulous Primarch an incredible display of their strongest combined bombardment of blinding ink.
The sticky fluid flew out across the hangar, splatting onto walls, supply crates, the plane we were making to board and the floor beneath the Primach's feet.
Which took every ounce of his might and the help of myself and the entirety of my Splatoon, to pull him free.
Now he knew that we were not to be trifled with.

My Splatoon in their infinite selflessness had taken the time to gather a myriad of sparkling pearls found only on the Ocean floor.
We knew that SEELE and the remnants of NERV craved profit and that only with a generous bribe could we convince them to let us into their stronghold.

"I know I wasn't helpful before Lelouch. I was weak and incompetent and a selfish prick who deserved to drown in the sea. I am much better now. I swear. I will not try to stop you from pursuing your ambition of being with C2 as I despicably tried to do before."

I lash my deadly tentacles with brutal ferocity, causing the entirety of my Splatoon and Suzaku to reel in fear.

"I've been getting stronger Lelouch. Now the Kraken itself fears me. I'm the terror of the seas and soon you will witness my newfound power. "

I wipe away an inky tear of sentimentality.

"The newfound power of your once useless deadweight Shirley who did nothing but get in your way."

If there was one thing that time spent ruling my Imperium had taught me with my faithful Primarch ex Tank commander, ex General, ex Ensign at my side, it was the difference between genuine love and heartless manipulation. I hadn't wanted to admit such cruelty even to myself but to keep it hidden, was to disrespect everyone including myself.

Eiko and Chirizu of Lemon Beach house. They only pretended to love me. Oh, they cared for me alright. Like Ebeneezer Scrooge and Charles Monty Burns cared for their pound notes and Penny farthing coins.
They certainly kept me comfortable and safe while giving me a nice home.
In their wallet.

Their younger brother Takeru.
The mere thought of his name causes me to sniff in extreme pain as stinging ink blurs my vision and sears my cheeks.
He only wanted to play with me. He didn't view me as another entry in the monthly asset column of the beach house ledger.
He was just lonely like me and he was always polite. He cut out a costume just for me and I threw his ardent efforts back in his face. Not even a thank you.

I was a venemous Tentacruel who deserved every bit of misfortune I had gotten back then.
If only I had listened with my heart and not my ears. Not believed in Eiko and Chirizu's wicked lies and two-faced way of manipulating me to be pawned to the highest bidder as their slave.

My countless restaurants of exquisite finery. My soup kitchens and homes for the poor and destitute who'd fallen on hard times as victims of exploitation showing that humans were not above misusing even their own kind. Each and every one of them, I personally blessed and dedicated to Takeru.

I was too late to appreciate him in life. But it was not too late to immortalize him in a hundred songs, stories and buildings. The squid imperium existed as much to commemorate him as it did myself.
To show him if his spirit happened to be watching from the heavens, that Squid girl always "Squid girly" to him, still remembered him fondly and would continue to do so long as she drew breath and long after.

I didn't want to say I was happy Eiko and Chirizu were no longer alive. Death was a terrible fate no matter who it befell. But I would say that the first part of independence was to not have anyone to answer to.

It was ironic how backward NERV and by extension SEELE had their world views.

In the beginning, there was only chiefdom. One person had absolute power over everyone and no one had freedom of any kind. No laughter, no color, no joy.
Then came the slightly less joyless period of Oligarchies and Classic republics. Still very domineering but a huge improvement nonetheless.
Now a small group of people rather than just one ruled, which made things a little better since now there was a bit of freedom and a few different opinions which made it less likely to screw up.

Merchant republics which arrived near the first millennium did things even better.
Now the group of rulers actually had to have some level of intelligence and useful skills to be qualified to lead and actually produced useful goods and riches during their reigns.
At least now humanity knew it was more profitable not to mention much nicer to sell things than destroy them.
If it was money that allowed such a great leap in the governance of mankind, then this was proof that the coin was not the source of all evil.

But the greatest kindness of all which made my species see some hope that humanity was worth preserving for all their faults.
The best invention not even called an invention with how mankind took it for granted.
Was democracy.

Now the stupid big man on the throne had only limited power to impose selfish whims on the people who could vote him out any time they deemed fit.
Now everyone had their say.
Suffrage. Free vote. Human rights. Racial equality and the realization that it was downright unfair to judge races since they were not something you could control when you were born.
They were all discovered alongside democracy. Wonderful democracy.

It took several millennia but the surface dwellers finally got it right.

But there were always dark hearted sharks who did not want such happiness to continue.
Those skin flinted penny pinchers who wanted to lord both sea and land under all-consuming darkness.

Two Millinia prior, a few tyrants tried to enforce autocracy. "One man, one vote. One value."
A chiefdom in disguise. A duplicitous attempt to return to the primitive days of old that no one missed save the deceitful liar who wanted to laze around doing nothing and mooching off.

Then in the previous millennia, we called such tragic regimes Monarchies.

Apes evolved into humans.
Squids evolved to squid people, aka: inklings.
Chiefdom became Autocracy which then begat Monarchy.

Deciding monarchy wasn't grandiose and unfair enough, a few monstrous psychopaths who could scant be labelled as human with their savage barbarism created the dark art that led to the bloodiest wars the whole world had ever seen.
A gory bloodbath whose wake of devastation never ended, leaving mankind a ripe and juicy target for the hungry Angels to waltz in with ease.
It was called Fascism. And it was designed to rob even more of every living creature's free will and independence than the most brutal Monarchy ever could.

An insidious ploy designed to set back all the progress humankind had made towards total freedom and hence, total responsibility to be able to solve every problem.
My people along with many of the surface believed that Hitler would be the last dictator and that the end of world war 2 was the start of world peace since even we were certain that two genocides of such a magnitude as the two world wars would certainly convince the landlubbers to finally realize their mistakes.

One flashback of the hopeless in every man, woman and children's bleak faces as they walked with hung head and downcast eyes prior to our Inkvasion, said it all.
The neon signs that had lined every building of every street of every block of the city and the countryside for miles outside the city limits.
NERV. Hail NERV. NERV rules. In NERV we trust. NERV the Saviour. NERV for world leader.
To defy NERV is to defy heaven. Have faith in NERV or else. Worship NERV or SUFFER.

In the name of NERV
El Nombre de NERV.
In der name auf NERV.

NERV wanted to take away more than the sea that both we the squids and they the humans depended on for life. They wanted to kill free thought and free speech. Basic rights that countless bloody wars had been hard fought to achieve.
They wanted to set the year from 1999 to 30,000 BC.

Lady Liberty was weeping stony tears as she dropped her torch and held out her shaky rocky arms to plead for one among us, any of us to sympathize with the painful heroic sacrifices of countless fallen both Squid and human.
For the land and sea kingdoms were once one and together.

"FREEDOM!"

What could I do but yell much to the confusion of every Inkling and my Primarch, who soon joined me in powerfully roaring the foolish yet mighty mantra that guided us in unity into the mouth of hell.
Lelouch would be there along with the other members of his wonderful harem. A harem that could actually get jack done with a crafty sleight of artful talents. A gang that would stick by his side through thick and thin and be there to comfort him even as the freezing hand of death came to claim him.

Lelouch Lamperouge POV
"Are you a real villain?" I suddenly find it in myself to ask my girlfriend second removed, Kallen as she runs a hand through her short and spiky deep pink hair.

"Um. Well. Technically. N..."

I don't give her time to finish as my heart immediately begins to sink.
Could it be that my elite squad of invincibility specifically handpicked by the smartest tactician the battlefields of Earth have ever beheld, are not up to this simple task of breaching SEELE's impregnable defenses that would make even NERV shudder with fear?

"Have you ever caught a good guy. Like a real superhero?"
I desperately inquire, turning to my loveable green haired wife Snow.

She regretfully shakes her head. She may have lived for hundreds of years thanks to her potent Geass granting her protection from death, but that did not mean she was omniscient.
She was relieved to be able to get it off her chest to me and it was my acceptance of this bleak fact that endeared me to her in the first place.

"No Lelouch. I'm so sorry."

I am on the verge of tears. My plan. My beautiful plan, crumbling in two before it even started.

Surely my sister can provide me some comfort. She always could.
It was for her sake that I even became the despised nemesis the world called "Zero".

"Nunnally. Have you ever tried a disguise?"

"I wish I could say yes but if the answer was yes, I would have recognized you in your zero form long ago and saved us both a lot of unnecessary heartache. So, with great tragedy big brother. No."

Everything is crumbling before me.
Everything is ruined. All the beatings Shinji endured from his ungrateful roommate and his unloving father were all for NOTHING!
No. It's not going down like that. I won't just give up now with such an adorable and innocent child on the line. It's sick and inhumane.

"Alright." I bark, managing only with every last ounce of willpower to keep my teeth gritted and my boisterous voice from cracking and giving away my rapidly expanding hesitation.
I must not show weakness to my loving family after all they have been through in my name. They deserve Lelouch Lamperouge Vi Brittania, Zero at their finest.

"I can see" I imperiously state. "That I will have to teach you. How to be. Villains"

Without needing me to speak one further word, Snow deftly pulls out a trumpet which she holds to her mouth. Then with a demonstration of great skill in controlled breathing not to mention musical creativity, she brutally slaughters a symphony of masterfully conjoined notes.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and stand with my arms up in an exaggerated pantomime, not caring I am on a rapidly moving plane several thousand feet above ground level.
My group needs my support and they need it badly.
The "heroes" the unaware public have been deceived into supporting have constructed an unbreakable wall of lies that no amount of logical reasoning can expose.
We will have no choice but to default to villainy and flouting the law to do what is at the very least, morally right and good.

We are number one

I sing out in melodious chorus, forcefully wringing the neck of each note so that they have not time to take one breath before my massacre of them.

Now listen closely.

I musically order as I motion for my amazing friends and family to stand.
I do not care at this moment that the jet is picking up speed for the final leg of the journey. It is imperative that I repair morale among my unshakeable army before we make land.
For if there is but one thing both Shinji and Lelouch have been taught by their shared misfortunes in life, it is that halfhearted soldiers however talented can only yield halfhearted results.
I mentally thank father once more for mistreating me so badly so that I could know how to better treat those I came across so that they need never suffer as I did under his merciless fist of iron.

Here's a little lesson in trickery
This is going down in history

I always loved studying history but it was time for me to have my page in the history book to myself.
Dreams weren't bad. It was how they were accomplished that mattered.
It was selfish of me to decree that I wanted to save the world.
It would be more selfless to say I wanted nothing but if I said that, then I'd have no reason to save the world and as Misato told me countless times, it was my moral obligation to protect others with my life.
While she may have been bad to me, I did very much agree with her on that.
Selfishness and selflessness were like heads and tails of a coin. You could never have one without the other.

If you want to be a villain number one
You have to chase a superhero on the run

I got onto my tiptoes. I needed to demonstrate to my godly team of gods among men how to perform the ideal sneaking maneuvers that Zero had used to infiltrate the best guarded complexes of the empire.

Just follow my moves, and sneak around.
Be careful not to make a sound

They seem to be copying me quite well as they mimic my motions. But then Nunnally who still hasn't quite gotten used to the use of her perfectly healthy legs accidentally trips. As she falls, she hits the turbulence button on the control panel.

NO DON'T TOUCH THAT!

I furiously yell, unable to contain my frustrations despite my best attempts as a vicious gust of wind knocks us all down and jostles us round.

Sensing my rage, Snow tries her darndest to calm me down as she slaughters more chords with her trumpet even as her cheeks go white as snow.
Nunnally tries to help by tapping a drum and Kallen uncharacteristically kindly pitches in banging a cymbal. Bill takes out beakers and starts juggling them. Scientists aren't known for their musical talents.

We are number one

I repeat only to be joined in perfect timing by every member of my bumbling gang.
At least this is raising their spirits if nothing else.

Next, I brandish a giant fishing net as I gesture for Kallen to heft out the driftwood carving of Asuka I've been working on for some time in my free time.
I've taken especial pains to make her facial expression as evil and mad as possible, and to carve her fist in an aggressive posture in which she clearly makes to smash the nearest living thing beside her into lifeless chunks and to feed them to the sewer rats.

I hand the net over to Lloyd Asplund or Bill Nye as he'd rather be named on account of his given name being too family unfriendly.
He's a wise scientist whose cleverness should ensure this task goes better with more competence.

Hahaha. Now look at this net
That I just found
When I say go
Be ready to throw
And go!

He throws. It's a pathetic throw. Short arms, poor form and low muscle strength.
Hours of huddling over experiments with no fresh air outdoors would do that to you. I should have figured.
The webbing succeeds only to entangle me, causing my blood to boil as smoke billows from my ears to the shrill sound of a train whistle.

THROW IT AT HER, NOT ME!

I screech, my days of being beaten to a pulp by my manipulative bully coming back to me in an all too sorrowful manner for me to contain my mood.
Why did no one try to stop her?
Misato saw her skull crushing punches unfolding right before her and she just laughed at my pain.
If it was because I was doing something wrong to Asuka, I hadn't said a word to her.
I was doing everything Asuka said to do. Cooking her meals, washing her clothes, massaging her back with every ounce of my remaining strength after a long day in my Evangelion.

Ugh let's try something else.

I insist, not wanting to get tangled up with the past any more than I already had.

I place down the peel of a banana I've finished not long ago on the carpeted floor and point to it.
This time, I'll just give a demonstration and not ask the rest of my blustering crew to do anything.
That should go better and restore me to some hope of sanity.

Now watch and learn, here's the deal.
You slip and slide on this banana peel
Hahahaha

Taking my demonstration as an order from years of domestic abuse from one callous master after another, Snow rushes forward to serve my request causing herself to skid and crash into a hard titanium wall.
Her nose is badly bleeding by the time she stands up and manages with a shaking arm to dust herself off. She has clearly broken a bone from the nasty impact.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

I yell, my rage doing much to disguise my deep sympathy for her superfluous sacrifice.
I just can't stand to see her hurting so badly even if it is for a good cause and in good faith. I love her too much and she's done so much to help me when no one else gave a damn for me.
Oh Snow. I'm having second thoughts about the mission now. Hotaru's wellbeing is certainly important but so is yours and...

No Lelouch. Shut up.
Bad thoughts. Cowardly thoughts. Shinji the coward that no one likes.
If you give up now, Snow will never forgive you.
Nor will Nunnally. Kallen will literally skin you alive and Shirley will die of grief.

You never put your own needs above the needs of others.
Never. Snow has insisted she is prepared to pay whatever price it takes to free Hotaru and so has Nunnally and everyone else.
As Alexander the great would put it, he doesn't fear an army of lions led by a sheep.
He fears an army of sheep led by a lion.

Be that lion Lelouch. Let them hear you roar.
Be the strong link that uplifts the weak. The improved Shinji whose overcome his mental issues for the greater good.
The Shonen Protagonist that your fellow Otaku's appreciate more than anything else even if real life is not a fantasy and far more traumatic than fiction would have you believe.

Look at Snow's breathlessness as she puts her all into every note of her trumpet.
Witness Nunnally's exertions as she hammers the drums like a Viking berserker swinging his gigantic grate axe.
Kallen's huffs and puffs as her arms sag between clashes of her cymbals.
Lloyd, er Bill Nye's confident smile even as he continues to juggle the beakers knowing how downcast he can clearly see you are.

Your friends and family may not be perfect Lelouch, but they are all you have. They gave you their all with the one condition that you give them your all.
All for one and one for all.
Come to terms and be at peace with this imperative fact of gratitude and you will come to realize that despite their flaws and yours that...

BADADIDIDADADADA.
WE ARE NUMBER ONE

WE ARE NUMBER ONE

We are number one

HEY! HEY!

...

"Life is difficult. This is one of the greatest truths. Because once we accept that life is difficult, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters" - Scott Peck. The road less travelled.

Really, really special thanks to fictionelement777, neoWarkid4, bandiras2, An enemy of the state, Fantasian, Kycosoccerref and every other unnamed guest for your kind and generous reviews.
All of you are all great people. Thank you so much for reading and see you all next time and bye.
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Happy new year and stay safe.