As promised, chapter 12 was NOT the end of Ava!
Love to know what you think!
Ava survived the urgent transport back to the palace. Thranduil once again found himself sitting listlessly outside the healer's rooms, awaiting news. This time, he held his newborn son in his arms. He looked down, the baby was not yet aware that anything was wrong. In Thranduil's unbiased opinion, the baby (like his older brother) was perfection. Soft wisps of light blond hair covered his head, and he shared Legolas' crystal blue eyes. Ava would have agreed that the child looked like his brother, Thranduil thought.
The healing room into which the Queen had been carried was eerily quiet. Thranduil strained yet could not hear any sound coming from his wife. This struck fear deep into his heart. He missed the sound of her words, her laugh. He clutched the infant tightly to his chest.
"Your highness, we need to take the baby" a voice floated from the background, catching his attention.
"Why?" the King demanded, holding the infant even tighter to his chest.
"Highness, the child needs to be fed. We have a wet nurse ready" the chambermaid clarified.
"His mother will feed him, when she awakens" Thranduil insisted, being unreasonable.
Calendil stepped towards him cautiously. "Thranduil, we all hope Ava recovers. But the baby needs to be fed now. He cannot wait" she reasoned gently, reaching for the child. Lord Wyrran laid a reassuring hand on the king's shoulders, and reluctantly, he handed the infant over. The baby hardly made a sound as Calendil walked towards the nursery, followed by several chambermaids.
Once his hands were empty, Thranduil hung his head and sighed heavily.
"If she doesn't survive, he will be the last thing she ever gave me" he said sadly.
"There is hope yet, Thranduil" his advisor said.
Just then, the door opened and the head healer emerged. Thranduil had seen too much of the healer in the last year. The ellon had a grim look on his face. The King's heart seized.
"Your majesty, the Queen is…"
"What?" Thranduil practically shouted.
"When the afterbirth was detached, the blood loss was tremendous. We didn't have the necessary equipment out there, even if we did, there is little we could do…"
"Is she alive?" the King asked.
"Barely" the healer answered simply.
"Will she recover?" Thranduil begged.
"I do not know, your highness"
It was not the answer Thranduil had hoped for, yet there was a glimmer of hope. He pushed past the healers and entered the room. Ava, his wonderful Ava, lay motionless on the bed. Her skin pale and sallow, with none of its usual glow. It was clear she was barely clinging to life. Her abdomen was still swollen, from the recent birth. He reached for her hand, and held it limply in his own. He brought her hand to his lips and imparted a soft kiss. He lowered his head onto the bed and sobbed uncontrollably.
Ava thought she was floating, yet she was not in water. She watched, fascinated, as she moved her limbs weightlessly. She didn't know where she was.
"Am I dead? Is this valinor?" she asked.
"No, my darling" an elleth said. Ava turned around, and instantly recognized her own complexion, hair color and eyes.
"Nana?" Ava asked, staring at the woman in front of her incredulously.
Her mother's apparition smiled and opened her arms. Ava did not hesitate before rushing into her mother's embrace. The feeling of being in her mother's arms was one she had craved her whole life; she had never experienced it in her memory. It was everything she had always imagined: warm, gentle, loving.
"I'm not dead?" Ava asked again.
Celebrian arched an eyebrow in amusement. "No, you're somewhere in between life and death."
"And you're here to…"
"I wanted to see you, my child. See the person you've become. To tell you…" the lady of Rivendell trailed off becoming emotional "to tell you how much I love you and how proud I am of you."
Ava stared, astonished. "I don't know that I've accomplished very much" she admitted, biting her lower lip.
Lady Celebrian raised a hand to her daughter's cheek and grazed it lovingly. "You've become a wonderful wife, mother, queen."
Ava's eyes filled with tears. "Thranduil and I, we have two sons." Celebrian nodded, smiling – Ava realized her mother already knew. Over the years, Ava had regretted that her mother never got to meet her husband and son. She'd often wondered if her Nana knew what had become of her life. Here, in front of her, was the answer.
"Where will I go from here?" Ava answered. "I lost a lot of blood birthing my son…"
"It is your choice. You can go back to middle earth and your husband and children…" Celebrian's voice said calmly.
"Or?" Ava prompted.
Celebrian smiled. "Valinor is as beautiful as you imagine. There is no pain, no suffering, no fear."
"You will be there" Ava finished.
"Yes, darling. I will be there. I will be there waiting for you, if not now, then one day when you sail."
"Come back to me, meleth" Thranduil begged out loud. He had never begged for anything his whole life. Not when his mother died. Not when his father followed. Never. But today, he was begging. He was begging anyone, the valars, bema, Sauron himself if he had to, to bring Ava back to him.
"I cannot…I cannot be without you. Our sons, cannot be without you, Ava. Please meleth" his anguished voice cried.
Somewhere in the background, he heard the door creak open. The Lord of Rivendell entered. Ava's family had hurried to Greenwood once they received news of her difficult birth.
"Thranduil, you need to rest" Elrond said. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern. He had not seen her old friend in such a state. The king's skin was ashen, lines formed deep creases on his face, he had lost much weight.
"I'm not leaving her!" Thranduil insisted.
"You have not left her bedside for days. Thranduil! Your sons need you. Legolas and the baby, they have neither parent. They're scared. Would Ava want you to abandon them?" Elrond said, losing patience.
"I cannot face them" Thranduil whispered, his head hanging in shame.
"What are you talking about?" Elrond demanded incredulously.
"How can I face them? How can you even look at me, Elrond? I am responsible. Ava would not have been in the woods when she went into labor – she was there looking for me. How can I see my sons when I am responsible for their anguish?" Thranduil yelled back.
Uncharacteristically for the calm and poised ellon, Elrond grabbed both of Thranduil's shoulders and forced their eyes to meet.
"No one blames you Thranduil. Do not heap guilt on yourself. You need to be with your sons. You do no one any good by locking yourself away here, fading." Elrond counselled.
"You know nothing of how I feel" Thranduil spat.
Elrond finally lost his patience. "I know exactly how it feels to sit at a bondmate's bedside, begging valar-knows-who to spare her life!"
Thranduil was shocked into silence. He felt a fool. Of course Elrond knew. The Lord of Rivendell was likely the only ellon in Middle Earth who knew exactly how he felt. It had been centuries ago, but Thranduil had been the one to drag Elrond away from Celebrian's sickbed, insisted he tend to the infant Ava and his other children. It was a memory both Lords would rather forget. Elrond saw acceptance dawn upon his old friend's face.
"Arwen and I will sit with her. You will receive word as soon as there is any change. Go clean up and see your sons." He said in a gentler tone. With one last longing look at his wife, Thranduil left the room.
The infant was wailing inconsolably in the nursery. Thranduil could hear it from down the hall. When he entered the room, he saw two flustered chambermaids desperately trying to calm the elfling down. Their faces drew a new level of fright when they saw their King enter.
"Highness, we've tried everything. He will not stop crying. We've offered milk, swaddled him, burped him…"
Thranduil silenced them with a nod. He carefully picked the baby up out of his crib. After placing a soft kiss upon the child's brow, the gently rocked him back and forth. Holding him close to his chest, he began to sing. It was a lullaby that Ava had favored when Legolas was young. Thranduil recalled watching Ava calm a shrieking baby Legolas many times with the tune. He didn't know what possessed him, for certainly no elf alive had ever heard him sing, but it was the only thing he could think of doing.
Slowly, his son's cries ebbed away. First replaced by hiccups and finally by silence. The baby even began to coo. Without taking his eyes off the infant, Thranduil ordered that Legolas be brought to him.
"Ada?" the elfling said when he entered the nursery, as if disbelieving his father was actually physically present. He clutched his toy elk tightly, sucking his thumb in his mouth. Careful not to disturb the infant in his arms, Thranduil lowered himself to his knees so he could address his first born at eye level.
"Legolas, I'm sorry I haven't seen you. I've been sitting with Nana" he explained, asking for forgiveness.
Legolas' lower lip quivered. "Will nana be alright? Why is she sick again?"
"We are doing everything we can to help Nana. I know you're scared, I should have come earlier." Thranduil said. Legolas proceeded to run into his father's outstretched arms. Thranduil held his sons tightly, squeezing his eyes shut and letting a tear slip down his cheek.
"Meet your little brother" he murmured, as Legolas looked down at the infant in his arms.
"He's all wrinkled! What's his name?" the child asked.
His firstborn's innocence brought a smile to the King's lips. "We'll wait for Nana to help us with his name, don't you think?" The heir of Greenwood nodded in agreement.
