Sun warmed up their faces, a cool breeze turning their cheeks pink. The fresh smell of rain hung in the air, having previously soaked the bench, which now slightly damped the doctors and Grahams pants. They listened as birds sang in the distance, watching as the sun slowly rose, bright oranges and pinks lighting up the once dark sky. Hearing Graham take in a deep breath the doctor tapped her feet to an old tune, one she could not remember the name of as if she had heard it life times ago.
Looking over at Graham she saw he had leaned back, hands shoved deep within his pockets and a small yet pleased smile covered his face. Sometimes she'd hear him wake up in the early hours, heading outside just to sit quietly, enjoying the time to himself. She had always wondered how he could sit so content nearly every morning, watching the sun rise and breathing in the fresh day. She guessed it was something old people did, that with age came a need for the simple things in life, yet she was far older than Graham ever could imagine yet couldn't not find the same peace he had. Moving her hands into her pocket, then out onto her lap she rubbed at her pants, warming up her slightly cold legs.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Grahams' voice spoke out, eyes still glued to the peaceful scene.
"Mmm? Ya" the doctor distantly hummed, eyes wandering. A moment of silence passed, wind picking up and ruffling their hair, sending chills down their bodies.
"What's bothering you Doc?" Graham asked softly, eyes searching for hers.
"What? Nothing" the doctor crossed her legs, staring at her slightly muddy boots. She heard Graham sigh, feeling his body heat as he moved closer to her.
"Come on, I know something's upsetting you. You'd feel better if you talked about it." He gave her a small pat on the shoulder. The doctor looked at him, slightly biting her lip
""i-its nothing. Really," she kindly defended herself unsure if she wanted to share her deepest thoughts so willingly.
"Okay" he smiled again, looking back at the sun and leaning against the bench, stretching his legs far out in front of him. Straightening her posture the doctor looked at the sun, beautiful oranges and pinks slowly melting into a thick blue. Glancing back at Graham another gust of wind blew, stinging their noses.
"It's just-" she started, turning towards her friend. Mimicking her Graham faced his lost friend, elbow resting on the top of the bench.
"I just- I just can't stop thinking about it. Who I am? What I am. I mean I always thought I was the doctor. A time lord. I knew my home. My family. But now? Now, I'm unsure." She said neatly in all one breath, eyes darting around and hands slightly shaking. Gran rubbed at his chin, catching the doctor's eyes before she looked away. "I mean to have lived so many lives, that I can't remember. Or maybe a few, I don't know, I can't remember!" She threw her hands up, voice slightly raising. "I mean I was sure of who I was, and now, now I don't think I know." She finished, voice becoming small. Graham just stared, feeling empathy at the vulnerable state his confident friend was in. She was never one for sharing her life, for someone who talked often he rarely knew about her past. Smiling at that thought he gave a small chuckle.
"You're the doctor" he started, finding someone who was so smart to be so oblivious. "You go around helping people'' Graham tried to find the right words to comfort her.
"But what if I was something else? Maybe I didn't help people. What if I did something wrong?" She continued to spiral, hidden insecurities starting to show themselves.
"Well did you do something wrong?" Grahams question caught her off guard
"I don't know." She answered honestly, slightly annoyed at the silliness of such a question.
"I mean now, have you done anything wrong in this life?" Graham smiled, rubbing at his forehead.
"No, I don't- I don't think I did?" She answered shyly, wind blowing, causing her to rub her hands.
"Well there you go, you're not a bad person." Graham clapped her on the back, turning his attention back to the nearly risen sun.
"That's not what I meant," the doctor said quietly to herself, mind racing.
"Look Doc," Graham faced her again, voice soft yet powerful. "You'll drive yourself mad thinking what you could or couldn't have been. But right now, you're you. You're the doctor! You help people, save planets and show kindness to all, even if they don't deserve it. And that sounds like a good person to me. It doesn't matter what your where, or what you are. The person you are now, and the person you try to be is all that really matters." He finished, eyes going back to find the sunset.
Mouth open, the doctor stared at Graham, eyes stinging from the cold. Giving a small smile she turned back to the sunset, digging her elbows into her chilled thighs and propping her head into her hands. Mind erased from her friend's reassurance.
Maybe watching the sunrise was more peaceful then she thought.
