The moon is high in the sky and the clans are fast asleep.
Jayfeather opens one of his blind eyes and flicks his ear as he listens. He can hear the soft sounds of all the other cats in the medicine cat den sleeping. He raises his head blinking both eyes open.
It's only be a few nights since Briarlight died.
Jayfeather doesn't really want to show it to the others, but the feelings of deep grief and loss still heavily loom over him. He's had trouble sleeping since it happened. He feels completely responsible despite what any other cat says. He raises to his paws and with careful paw steps he slips out of the medicine cat den. He heads for the dirt place not wanting to answer to whoever is on guard duty. He slips past the dirt place heading towards the lake. He arrives at the waters edge hearing it lap against the shore.
Disturbing the quietness of the night air.
Jayfeather sits down curling his tail around his paws. He can heavily smell the lake and his paws are just barely out of reach from its waves. He stares at the lake as though he can see the twinkling of Starclan reflected in the water. "Briarlight." He whispers to himself dropping his head and shutting his eyes tight. He knows it's forbidden for medicine cats to have mates. He just couldn't help falling in love with Briarlight even if he hid it. He hopes that Alderheart will make sure to not get attached to Velvet. He has sensed the younger medicine cat's attraction to the kittypet. "Look where falling in love can get you." He speaks as though the other is there with him. He sobs as he lets himself cry there by the lake. He doesn't even move when a wave manages to soak his paws and tail.
It didn't feel like it really mattered anyways.
"...Jayfeather..."
Jayfeather blinks his eyes open as he swears he hears a soft delicate voice say his name. He also swears that it came from the direction of the lake. He crouches down and a wave washes over him again. He shuts his eyes as he becomes soaked. He blinks his eyes open once more when it seems to be over. He jolts up realizing he's in Starclans hunting grounds. "How'd I get here?!" He glances around looking for any other cat.
"Yellowfang showed me how to reach you, without you going to the moonpool." The familiar voice causes Jayfeather to spin around. Briarlight smiles in greeting. She is standing just like any other cat with stars gleaming her pelt. "You were so tired that after the wave hit you passed out." She shifts her paws a little at that.
Jayfeather can't hold himself back and races over to her.
Briarlight hurries closer too and the two lean against each other in the best embrace they can do. "It's so good to see you!" She purrs happily as they stand there embracing each other.
"It's good to see you too." Jayfeather responds and after a few moments they pull away from each other. "Look at you. You're walking again."
"Yeah. When I went to Starclan my legs got healed." Briarlight confirms and gives Jayfeather a few affectionate licks around the ears. "I'm sure that whenever you join Starclan you'll be able to see."
"I suppose that it is very possible. I mean I see when I dream or am with Starclan." Jayfeather swishes his tail only for Briarlights tail to rest on it. He stops the movement when this happens and he stares into her beautiful eyes. His mind reminds him of how she had died and he glances away guiltily. "Briarlight? I am really sorry for causing you suffering and the way you died." He feels a tail drape over his shoulders causing him to look to her.
"Jayfeather. It's okay. I don't blame you." Briarlight informs him as she smiles in an assuring way. "It wasn't your fault. I didn't tell you guys about what was going on."
"If I hadn't gone in the nursery-" Jayfeather finds a paw on his muzzle to tell him to be quiet. He looks down at his muzzle then turns to look to Briarlight.
"Ivypool needed you." Briarlight tells Jayfeather as the other listens. "If it wasn't for you then who knows what might have happened. The kits might not have made it through. It wasn't worth the risk. So it was needed that you were in there. Stop being mouse brained about it!" She tries to blink away her sadness from seeing the tom so torn up on the inside. "Please. Just stop blaming yourself." She had been watching over him and she truly felt horrible seeing how badly her death affected him. She hopes that she can put a stop to it here and now.
After a few moments Jayfeather nods his head softly. He lets the other remove her paw from his muzzle.
Briarlight lays down with Jayfeather laying next to her. "Do you remember that night? When I couldn't sleep due to being sore. You talked with me even though you were tired the next day." She mentions looking at the other who nods his head. "Do you... Still remember what we talked about?"
"Of course I do. I'd have bees in my brain if I could forget a night like that." Jayfeather responds gaining giggles from Briarlight.
"Okay." Briarlight manages to calm herself down. She brings her focus back to what she feels like she needs to do. "My wonder what it'd be like to have a mate. All the things that I could get up to with a mate. How we talked about if medicine cats could have mates. I wanted that with you."
Jayfeather reaches out placing a paw on her right front paw. He smiles as their eyes lock together. He sees the happiness in her eyes. "I wanted that too." He tells her in which she smiles more. "Now it's like all the things that we could have had is gone. Because I wasn't able to cure you in time."
"It doesn't mean it's all gone." Briarlight responds moving over to cuddle up against the tom. "I'm in Starclan. You're a medicine cat. We can still connect with each other. Also when you make it to Starclan we can be mates. It's okay here. We can be together and do all we want together."
Jayfeather smiles only to nuzzle her shoulder. "Yeah. I can't wait." He agrees and he's also really happy that he can let his guard down. To just be in the moment with the cat he loves oh so dearly. "I miss you. So much."
"I miss you too." Briarlight nuzzles him back though she knows that they are on limited time. "Jayfeather?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you do something for me?" Briarlight hopes that by asking this then things will be okay.
"Of course. I'm sure I can handle it."
"Do your best for the clan." Briarlight pleads causing Jayfeather to blink at her. "Things may be hard right now. However I just know that you can push through this. Stay strong and do everything you can for Thunderclan. Look after them for me?"
"Okay." Jayfeather doesn't move away when Briarlight leans forward tapping her nose against his. He feels like his nose is missing something when she pulls away. "I'll do the best I can. I still get to claw off the idiots ears though." He adds gaining a laugh from the she-cat. He smiles more at hearing her laughing.
"We don't have much time left. I've held you here long enough." Briarlight states as she gets to her paws. "See you later Jayfeather."
Jayfeather leaps to his paws. "No. Not yet. Please don't go!" He almost wants to claw off his own ears for the beg that came out. He shakes his head closing his eyes for a moment. "I won't leave! You can't make me! No one can make me go!" He opens his eyes, and looks to her after she nuzzles his neck drawing close.
"It's okay. I'll watch over you and visit when I can." Briarlight assures him with that beautiful purr of hers. "I promise I'll be there with you. Just remember to do your best."
"I will." Jayfeather promises to her. "I guess I'll see you later." He finds things going dark and Briarlights form fades away. He raises his head hearing the waves of the wake as he awakens. He gets up finding his fur is still wet, though he can feel that it is getting a little warmer than when he left camp. So he figures the sun must be rising. He shakes himself to get the water off of his pelt. He then turns and heads off going back to camp. He passes by a surprised Cloudtail when getting back into camp. He can hear Alderheart come out of the medicine cat den. He heads that way then hears Alderheart bounding toward him.
"Jayfeather! I was curious at where you went off too." Alderheart skids to a stop by his mentor.
Jayfeather knows he can smell the lake on him as he hears the flickering ears from the tom. "I'm fine. I don't need someone to look after me all the time." He snorts and heads into the medicine cat den brushing past Alderheart. Though before he enters he pauses to glance to the sky. He tries to picture how the sky might look right now, though it'll probably not be the same as seeing it. He lowers his head to slip into his den. A sense of warmth filling him on the inside. He welcomes it knowing that it's probably from knowing Briarlight is most likely close by. He starts checking on the herbs as he also feels a little more at peace with things.
One day he'll join Starclan then no one can tell him no that he can't be with Briarlight.
"One day." Jayfeather whispers under his breath and a soft smile appearing on his face.
The end.
An:
This was written on my phone so hopefully I caught the autocorrects.
I hope you have enjoyed a story that came to me while I was cooking.
KitKat.
