Yagi can still go giant cause...that's fuckin hilarious in my mind. This is really just crack cause I'm sad after reading the latest chapters of MHA. Meant for laughs and to really just clean out my brain as ideas keep coming!
Deku never felt so disturbed in his whole life as he wiggled a cat toy back and forth and just watched as his sensei lay on his back meowing in his gruff voice. Though he couldn't say that was worse than watching as a very disturbed Kirishima rubbed his idol and mentor's emaciated belly as he lay on his side whining and whimpering in a way too small dog bed. Said bed taken from the Golden retriever next to him, who was continuously licking said man's face. Trying his damndest to calm the aching man.
*CRASH!*
"Goddamn it! That was my favorite cup!"
He watched as his english teacher walked out the kitchen, arms held to his side bobbing his head up and down as he jumped up and down. The man or at least physically a man, tweeted at him and flapped his arms up and down. "I'm a good bird!" Hizashi said, before jumping on the couch and curling his toes into the cushion as it perched itself and began jabbing his chin into his collar.
Not seconds later a cockatiel, with what seemed a LOT of difficulty, flew over and landed on his head. It shook its head, "This is such a drag!" throwing its head back overdramatically (or...was it the right amount?)
"Um….Sensei said if...any of us tell a soul about this...he'll do worse than expel said offender."
A hiss of affirmation accompanied Koda's sentence.
All 21 kids quickly nodded and responded with a "Yes, Aizawa sensei." all their attention focused on the fluffy solid black Ragdoll kitten sitting on the coffee table, glaring at the man also dubbed the name sensei as he began to purr.
Deku thought back to how the day began. How they'd come to be taking care of three temporarily bought pets from Plus Ultra Petstore and the three teachers/pro-heros they swapped brains with.
1A walking into class knew in an instant something was wrong walking into class.
It wasn't one thing, more like four.
One, the Golden retriever sitting facing the podium, who quickly glanced at them before seeming to become either saddened or embarrassed. Almost a combination of both.
The fact Yagi was sitting in Aizawa's chair looking around and sniffing the air, his eyes showing nothing but confusion.
The rattling coffee cup on their teacher's desk.
Or the fact their teacher, the most stoic man in the world, was curled up on the floor in the sun with his eyes closed and a creepy smile.
"Hey 1A, seems like y'all are always involved in some...havoc. Only this time none of you caused it." She glanced at the two other teachers and the dog before frowning.
"Vlad hurry! The classes will be out before you even get here!" Nemuri said in an exasperated voice
"Coming! He may be skinny but Yamada is still a fuckin' adult male!" came from the hall
Again, All 1A could do is stare as Vlad King came in with Present Mic, still in his leather outfit minus the shoes, precariously perched on his right shoulders and a cockatiel perched on the other. The MC's toes holding on for dear life.
Said English teacher seemed to be turning his head, looking around like he'd also never seen the school he'd worked in since age 25.
"Best if they explain...you totally owe me, Mic." The 1B teacher barked while glaring at the bird, which confused the students even more. Vlad made a bridge with his arm, allowing said bird to get on top of their sensei's desk.
It cleared it's throat before and in an almost embarrassed tone of voice (can birds do that?) began to speak.
"SUP LISTENERS! It's your teach, Mic-sensei! We three had an oopsie with a villain this morning and now well...we swapped minds!" It flapped its wings aggressively before Present mic or his body at least squawked, whistled and said, "Pretty lady! Treat! Treat! I'm a good bird." before leaping off Vlad and falling in a heap, sending his glasses skidding across the floor. Hizashi's body just looked at its arms with confusion.
"WATCH THE MERCHANDISE! Oh...my beautiful face and clothes. I agree in a good mud face mask but NOT THIS." The bird hopped up and down spastically as its crest seemed to spike in agitation.
They had no doubt in their minds, that was Mic sensei in the feathered beast.
"Wait….so that means," Deku's eyes darted to the golden retriever staring at the podium with its back hunched to All Might sitting at the desk, who'd yet to say a word.
"Is...was he...Speak."
Deku called out the command and not a second later his mentor had put both his hands on the desk and let out 3 loud barks before panting.
The whining resonating from the ACTUAL dog confirmed it. His mentor was now a dog.
"So...sensei is a cat?" Jiro and the others looked around for the feline their teacher now inhabited but couldn't find it anywhere.
Mic decided to throw in his two cents in the matter,"squawk! He wishes! Nope, Shou became something else." The bird walked over to the mug on the teacher's desk before tapping it.
"SHO! Your classie wassie want to see you! You shouldn't keep em awaitin'!" The man bird seemed to be enjoying this reveal too much in the students eye's.
All he got was a hiss.
"Shy?" Not taking a second to consider the ass kicking he might get, Hizashi was using his new beak to yank his bestest friend from the mug.
A loud "aaaaaaawwwwww!" echoed through the room as the girls saw a very pissed kitten yanked out by its tail. The little guy responding to the bird's transgression with a hiss and swipe of claws.
"Whoa! Calm down!" Hizashi said as he ran all over the teacher's desk trying to shake off his now adorable yet irate friend.
It's only due to shock the kids weren't dying on the floor laughing. The sight of a cockatiel running away on two legs while chased by a small black ball of fur. One that seemed to not have yet mastered walking on all fours was comedy gold.
"Break it up you two, can't have you hurting these innocent animals cause of your fighting. These ain't your bodies so save the ass kicking for later" Midnight quickly grabbed the Ragamuffin kitten by the scruff of its neck, immobilizing it.
Shouta only hissed and tried one swipe before giving up.
"Um, what are we supposed to do with them?" Kirishima said, barely resisting the urge to take his phone out and take millions of photos.
"Well, we thought this could be a learning experience for all of you." Nemuri quickly clarified,"On the battlefield one could very well easily get hit with a quirk mid-fight you need to know how to handle said mishaps. You all can decide how you group up and go about this.
"OH! Koda, seeing as you're the only translator for Aizawa and Yagi, you're not to give the class answers every time. Won't be a challenge if you just told them the answer. Use your brains"
The silent boy nodded, although weary that he'd have to deny the rest of the group help.
"AND! You must take care of them, so to make sure none of you are slacking your teachers will accompany their bodies. So, if you aren't watching them," she gestured to the three heroes' bodies acting like their respected breeds,"then we'll know."
"Do well enough and I'll do all y'all a solid and drop yer worst exam grade!" The cockatiel bodied man said enthusiastically.
Mineta, Kirishima, Mina, Denki, and Sero sat up.
"Sir, it'd be our honor to take this task up. Thank you!" Mineta bowed, followed by a choir of "Yes" from the other English idiots.
"Come to us if any really serious problems arise." Vlad King stated making sure none thought they were alone in this.
"Now, first challenge...get them out the dorm without anyone realizing what's happened."
Nemuri patted the Golden Retriever on the head and walked out, chuckling.
"Sooooooo….we just have to like get them back to the dorm. What do we even call them? Cause sensei's a cat while also having his body so…."
"I KNOW!" Mina said excitedly, "We'll call em'..." she quickly took a piece of chalk and wrote down a key.
Catzawa= human aizawa in cat body
EraserCat =cat in human body
Dog Might- dog in human body
Dagi- human Yagi in dog body
Cockatiel Mic- bird in human body
"And….hmmm. What should I call you sir?" she looked to Hizashi who was in a bird body
"HIZAKEET! The great brain of Hizashi Yamada paired with the cute body of a birdie!" Hizakeet said jumping up and down.
"Okay, so we just need to get cockatiel Mic, EraserCat, and Dog Might back to the dorms? Easy peasy lemon squeezEY!" Mineta screamed as EraserCat swiped at the grape boy. Their teacher's baritone voice hissing and growling as he hunched over on all fours, his fury directed at all of them.
"The hell? I didn't do anything." Mineta said clutching his stinging hand,"Why'd he hit me?"
"We're strangers. Here let's focus on one at a-"BARK BARK BARK"
"Wha? NO DON'T EAT THAT!" Midoriyah struggled to pull his mentor from a mystery spill on the floor, his tongue getting too close for his or Dagi's comfort.
cockatiel Mic was luckily only concerned with walking around, squawking at random times. Which, despite being extremely annoying, wasn't too much a hassle
"Mew" Catzawa finally spoke up knowing he might as well speed up the process. "Mew meow meew meow meow mew"
The class watched as the puffball said what had to be an entire speech and then looked to their only translator, Koda.
"Um, sensei is saying to um...grab the back of his neck. It immobilizes kittens allowing the mothers to carry them."
"Oh I've seen HeroTube videos about that, like using wooden clips or something!" Uraraka said excitedly, remembering the hours of cute cat videos.
The class quickly located one in the teachers desk, something Catzawa didn't appreciate, but became faced with another problem. Implementing it.
"Welp….do it, Bakugo!" Mina shoved the clip into the blond's hands before he could even reply back.
"WHAT!? Why me, Racoon Eyes!?" Bakugo screamed, Kirishima having to hold him back a bit.
"Well we aren't doing it, we'll handle getting bird Mic and the other bird Mic to the dorms. We can't have all three leave at once, we can't draw attention to this" she waved her hands all around to show she meant the whole situation.
They easily got both Yagis and both Hizashis out and on their way back to the dorms, opting to leave Deku, Bakugo, Kirishima, Shoji and Tokoyami behind to handle their teacher.
"DAMN! I...Ugh...just stand back. Besides its a kitten, how difficult could it be?"
Turns out it can be pretty difficult, since Aizawa's body fought them tooth and nail using muscle memory to whoop their asses and evade them for as long as possible.
Thankfully they had him trapped in the small classroom, limiting his ability to escape but making the task even more difficult. It's because of this the classroom was now a complete mess. Everywhere desks were thrown about and toppled as EraserCat had seamlessly leapt off them, avoiding Dark Shadow and also at some point thrown Kirishima into them. One window was sporting an array of thick cracks from where Bakugo's head was slammed into it and Deku was kicked into it. And all five now knew personally what it felt like to be bitten by an underground hero.
But, luckily Catzawa was right and the moment they'd wrestled their sensei's body to the ground (four people at once) and attached the clip, the underground hero had become motionless. Shoji tried his damndest to make him carrying their teacher, who had a wooden clip pinching his neck, look completely normal. While carrying the angriest puffball ever on top of his head.
"Damn...how well do you think the others did in getting All Might and Present Mic's bodies back to the dorm.
They heard a commotion coming from outside as they saw the "easier" two of the three weren't panning out so well either.
The first thing they saw was Dog Might, in his giant form, sitting on the grass while Satou pushed against his side (the non injured side). Seems they'd gotten a third of the way there before Dog Might decided he didn't like said plan. The symbol of peace now laying down and refusing to move despite all the begging and pushing his students did.
Thankfully, Todoroki and Shinsou had thought up a way to hide said mountain of a man from any onlookers. Todoroki having thrown up an ice screen, acting like he was simply practicing.
"You guys go on ahead. I'll see what's going on!" The other four nodded and split ways with Midoriya. The green haired boy quickly ran over to see what the hell was going on.
"I don't think pushing him will do anything Satou. You ain't movin him." Mina said as she pet Dagi on the head, the man dog already mortified about the situation hadn't counted on it getting worse.
"Welp, he can't stay out here! Come on boy! Let's go into the dorms!" Satou said in a babyish tone of voice which was simply ignored.
"What's going on?" Deku said as he saw Dog Might fight against being pushed anywhere.
"Dude decided to just stop moving and impersonate a Snorlax." Hagakure said, throwing up her hands.
The only saving grace was the fact they were too far from the gate for the always lingering paparazzi to get any pictures...or they had been that is.
Dog Might's eyes opened lazily before growing wide as saucers. Deku instantly saw the difference as the man began growling.
Following his line of site, Deku found the offender: a squirrel.
"No…" Midoriya murmured
Dog Might got up
"Please…" the boy looked like he was about to cry
Got low, in position to give chase.
"Pleas-ARFARFARF!" Midoriya leapt out of the way as Dog Might launched after the tree rodent. The man ran after the squirrel, his giant body giving chase as he ran on all fours.
To make matters worse he bolted into the range of the paparazzi's cameras.
Todoroki and Satou gave chase as Deku bolted to the cameras and reporters, knowing All Might's dignity was at stake.
The moment he got close enough he was bombarded with questions and demands.
"What's going on"
"Has All Might finally snapped under the weight of heroing!?"
"What's going on!?"
"What-"
""Um, you see All Might is …" Deku's mind went blank, not knowing anything to say. Not able to conjure even a tiny fib for his idol's actions.
"Trying to catch a squirrel because he's training us for smaller enemies and villains," Hitoshi said, arriving to save his ass,"He's demonstrating you need to be close to the ground, sometimes even running-""BARK BARK''
The persistent crowd had many people with an eyebrow raised.
"Is he barking?" the reporter closest to the two students asked.
Shinsou looked back to see Todoroki had caught the squirrel and was dangling the poor thing like bait as he skated towards the dorm. Dog Might right on his heels.
"Code word for the exercise." Hitoshi said with the most depan of faces.
Unfortunately, he could see they weren't buying it.
"Sigh...I hate doing this but...you will wipe all the film showing UA and All Might today. Then all return safely to your stations. Saying, "the gates stopped us and weren't able to get any film."
Deku and Hitoshi watched as all of the reporters and cameramen's eyes became hazy as they turned expressionless. All doing exactly as Hitoshi had demanded and leaving without a word.
"Woah that-""Never happened. They went by themselves WILLINGLY."
Deku saw how distressing that had left Shinsou and dropped it.
Shinsou looked down as he felt something pushing against him.
It was Dagi, trying his best to imitate a pat on the back. *Bark! Grrrrr...Woof bark!*
Shinsou smiled and quickly picked up the big dog, not weirded out when the canine licked his face.
"Okay! Okay! Come on Midoriya. We have to get through this day."
The two quickly ran back, dog in arms.
Unfortunately, it seems Cockatiel Mic wasn't cooperative either. Something the two found out when they came upon Mina, Kaminari, Sero and Jiro trying to get the 31 year old out of a very tall tree.
"HOW THE HELL DID HE GET UP THERE!?" Midoriya screamed, exasperated at how bad their plan had gone.
"He's 6'1 and fucking fast!" Kaminari said in their defense.
"Damn straight I am!" Hizakeet said proudly, not realizing that this was a bad thing.
"Oh my god!... um...go get Yaoyorozu. This one's actually pretty easy. Sorry in advance sir." Hitoshi nodded and ran in with Dagi still in his arms.
Hizakeet looked at Deku scared as his human body let out a deafening squawk.
As soon as the girl arrived they set to work.
"I need a mattress...maybe two, the softer and more shock absorbent the better."
"Uh...okay!" Yaoyorozu did as asked as Deku looked hesitantly at his electric friend.
"Kaminari, you watch HeroTube…"
"Yeah?"
"Have you seen what happens when someone is tasered?"
Kaminari smiled, instantly picking up what Deku was dropping. With an overly enthusiastic nod, he quickly Googled the number of watts he'd need to avoid barbecuing his teacher.
"What!? How dare you, little listener! You'd shock me?! Why I oughta!" The bird screamed at him, its feathers puffing up in anger. Flapping his wings aggressively as he scratched the hell out of Deku's right pants leg and shoe.
"Jiro. " Midoriya said un-phased by the bird's barrage of attacks
"Got it." She carefully picked up the angry bird and effortlessly carried him away.
"Y'all all gettin a test for this!" Hizakeet screeched before getting out of ear range.
Which brings them to where they're now.
Dealing with three men 6'1 and taller, acting like your typical pets. Hilarious but frustrating.
Deku watched as EraserCat hopped on the TV stand the thing shaking aggressively under his sensei's weight. Kirishima making a mad dash to save the television, just barely catching it.
"Sheesh! Why can't you-"*CRASH!*
"NOT THE COFFEE TABLE! STUPID BIRD MAN!" Bakugo screamed
"Sigh….it's like we're magnets or something." Deku said as he patted Dagi's head.
The next day, everyone was promptly awakened at 4:00 am by a certain DJ screaming, "NO MORE FEATHERS! I'M BACK IN MY FLESH BABY!"
Which was quickly followed by the sound of pain and a fist connecting with flesh.
"Ow! You're such a sour puss Sho-GAH!"
Everything slowly returned to normal except with a few changes.
Yagi now had the sweetest Golden Retriever anyone had encountered, having chosen to adopt the dog when he'd heard no one would take him because of his age. The dog was so calm he was brought in around testing for pats and such to de-stress the students.
Hizashi had become the face of Avian Heroes overnight, kicking out Hawks (who'd never been happier). The media noted he suddenly had a strange affinity for feathered creatures of all sizes and shapes. Birds suddenly adoring the man, to the point one actually had made a nest in his hair. Which resulted in the strangest lesson to happen in UA since opening.
Imagine random peeping suddenly springing from your teacher's hair while he's leaning over helping you with an in-class assignment. He'd also kept true to his word and like he promised, much to several idiots delight, dropped their lowest test scores.
And Aizawa has never been happier, as cats seemed to just flock towards him. The man had been spotted at a Cat Café by some of the girls with every single feline surrounding/covering him. The man now had a compartment for cat treats in his utility belt and if the rumors were true, he was raising a platoon of cat soldiers.
The end
