A/N: I was trying to decide whether I should write in third person like the first chapter or go with Carmilla's and Laura's POVs like in the second chapter.
I thought that it would be better to go with the latter since it gave more insight into their thoughts. If I write in third person, I wouldn't be able to do that.
~*Carmilla*~
I was so scared of being abandoned by her, whether it was real or not, that I left first. I thought that I could stay with her, I thought that we could continue to build a life together, but was there any point anymore?
I know that she was overwhelmed with her work, but I thought that she would at least keep that at work. They always tell you that work should stay at work, but I guess she was too passionate about her job hat she didn't do that.
She repeatedly would tell me how she hated her job because she was stuck in a cubicle all day long. I told her that we could've gone to Paris, one of the most romantic cities in the world. She said that she couldn't just uproot her entire life to leave.
She kept trying to convince herself that this was her dream job or that all she had to do was stick with it until she made it to the actual job she wanted. How can you live a dream when you're stuck in a box? How can you live your life knowing that you're unhappy?
I couldn't stay any longer because I didn't want to see her continue to going down the path of unhappiness since she was dragging me down with her. She was wearing me thin and I couldn't handle it anymore.
xxx
There was a coffee shop that Laura used to frequent up until last month, so I decided to make that my hangout spot despite not needing to eat food. I would go at night for obvious reasons. Sometimes, I would go during the day, to punish myself for leaving her.
Why was it that I kept punishing myself over something that I had no control over? Maybe I was holding onto Laura, at least memories of who she used to be, that I was blinded to the fact that she was her own person.
She never had to be dependent on me, but maybe, I thought that was the only use that I had. It was an illusion that I created in my mind that she needed protecting, even from myself.
xxx
As I sat in this uncomfortable and hard chair, I began to miss my books, the ones that I had collected over centuries. Every one of my books was still back in the apartment and I had no desire to go back there.
Laura might not be there, but everything there reminded me of her. If it wasn't her scent, then it was memories that we had made there.
I could look at a corner of the apartment and have a memory of that which probably involved us painting the walls together. They were a hideous orange color that made one dizzy when staring at it.
xxx
The aroma of coffee welcomed me, but it also made my stomach churn. I preferred my coffee black, but everyone here, didn't like that. God forbid, they run out of sugar, creamer, and all of that synthetic flavors. Would they end up dying or going through withdrawal?
So there I was, sitting in a coffee shop, people watching. They didn't have any good taste in books. What they referred to as books consisted of tween books, Twilight, and the Fifty Shades of Grey. They also had those romance novels that were basically the same thing every time, except written by different authors. You can change the names and locations, but it's really all the same.
People watching must be what people do because nobody was bothered by it. My coffee order wasn't as complicated as the college student coming in, ordering something that sounded more like a foreign language than a coffee order.
I have had countless of girls come up to me for a chat, but I ignored them. I wasn't interested in any of them, the only person that I wanted to be with was Laura.
I thought everything was going to well until I looked up at the door after the bell signified that someone crossed the threshold.
I saw Laura enter and my heart stopped. She was wearing a cream colored sweater and boring looking blue jeans with her chuck taylors that she wore everywhere.
I decided to move as far away from the front counter as possible so that she couldn't see me. If I wanted to, I could use my "vampire superpowers", as Laura referred to them as, to be used to my advantage.
She ordered a coffee and sat down at a table with two chairs. This made me curious and then my heart began to sink when I saw that there was a familiar redhead that came a few seconds after Laura.
Danny had sat across from Laura and they had their heads close together, the same way that we used to do when having an intimate conversation. I heard Laura laugh because of something that Danny said and it made whatever I was feeling a lot worse than before.
I wanted to intervene, but I had no right. Laura was an adult, she could make her own decisions and live her own life, even if I'm not in it anymore.
~*Laura*~
I was surprised to receive a call from Danny one morning. Ever since Silas University, Danny had become an advocate for vampires and she had known about how I was struggling with Carmilla leaving.
I didn't know where she was, but Danny informed me that she had seen her around town, mainly at the coffee shop.
During my time at Silas, I did try to make Carmilla jealous of Danny so that she would make her move. I wanted her to step up to asking me out because I was tired of waiting.
The funniest part was when she did start to flirt with me, I sometimes wasn't sure if she really was or was trying to push my buttons.
After one of my long phone calls with Danny, she suggested that we meet in person to talk about how I could win Carmilla back and she thought that the coffee shop was the best place.
I didn't intend to meet with Danny to make Carmilla jealous, I honestly needed help figuring out what to do. I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to repair things with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend? It wasn't really established what we were now.
xxx
So there I was, ordering my coffee and sitting at the table. I thought that I had caught a glance of Carmilla from the corner of my eye, but when I looked at the chair, nobody was there.
Danny had come in a few seconds after me and just sat directly in front of me. I knew that since Danny was a vampire now, she had heightened senses.
After she sat down, I felt relief wash over me because this meant that I was finally able to get help on how to solve this, whatever it was.
It was hard for me to hear Danny in such a crowded area, so we leaned in close to talk. I was laughing at something Danny said about a memory at Silas that involved Carmilla. It was about how she had repeatedly stolen my yellow pillow.
I was surprised that despite us breaking up, she hadn't brought it with her. I guess that she didn't want to be reminded of me.
~*Carmilla*~
I felt my blood boil the closer that Laura got to Danny. I could tell that even if Laura wasn't able to pick up on it, Danny had noticed that I was hiding in the corner, watching everything.
As they continued to talk, Danny had put her hand on Laura's arm, as if she was reassuring her about something. Maybe I was reading too much into Danny's hand touching Laura, but I couldn't stop myself from being furious with.
What gave Danny the right to touch my Laura?
I know that I broke up with Laura, but it didn't mean that I had stopped having feelings with her the moment that I left.
I'm not sure what pissed me off more, the fact that I couldn't hear what they were saying or the fact that Danny had gotten so much closer to Laura that their foreheads touching.
Danny had her eyes look away from Laura and stare directly into mine.
Did she have a smile on her face because she was "winning" Laura over?
~*Laura*~
I saw Danny smile at someone at the corner of the coffee shop, but I still didn't see anything.
"What are you smiling at, Danny?"
Danny had turned her attention back to me, "Oh, nothing."
She paused for a moment before moving away from my face, "So, what's the plan, Laura? Have you thought about how to win Carmilla back?"
I sighed, "No, but it's so much harder because I don't know where she is."
"She'll probably appear out of nowhere, like she normally does."
"I have seen girls come up to talk to her though."
"They did what?!"
"Don't fret, Carmilla had completely ignored them and showed how uninterested she was."
"She didn't bring any of them with her?"
"No. Look Laura, Carmilla might have been the one to break up with you, but I can tell that she really cares about you.
Every time she saw a flash of blonde hair, her face lit up for a moment because she thought it was you.
When she saw that it wasn't you, she went back to being her broody self."
"Yeah, Carmilla has always been so broody. I'm surprised that I even fell for her when she had horrible manners! I can't tell you how many times I found her hair stuck in the drain or how many times I had to hunt down my yellow pillow. She was getting creative when hiding it from me. I got to a point where I just threw it on her bed and would steal hers."
"I was wondering why I saw a pillow that didn't match you at all."
"She tried to incorporate animal print into our apartment and I put my foot down. I could handle her painting a small section of the apartment black, but the animal print was the last straw!"
Danny burst out laughing and slapped her knee with for emphasis, "Yeah, Carmilla always knew how to grind your gears."
~*Carmilla*~
Danny laughing once more at something Laura said was the last straw. I didn't want to make a scene here, so I waited for them to leave so I could follow them.
It was no surprise that they went back to our apartment. I didn't even care if I had left, my crap was still there, so it was still ours.
Laura had unlocked the door and Danny followed her, just like it was a normal reoccurence.
Had Laura replaced me so quickly with Danny of all people?
I knew that she had a thing for vampires, but I thought she only had a thing for me.
I had slipped in before the door had closed and I could've sworn that Danny had kept it open a bit longer than necessary so I could enter.
Did she really think that I would let her do anything to my Laura?
~*Laura*~
Danny had followed me into the apartment and I found it really odd that she kept it open a little longer than she needed to.
"What are you doing, trying to let the heat out?"
"Sorry Laura."
"It's okay. Carmilla had paid like a centuries worth of rent anyways. She was surprised that she even had money left."
We made our way to the living room and sat on the couch, that Carmilla and I had watched movies on, together.
"Hey Laura, I need to tell you something. Can you lean in closer?"
I had a confused expression on my face, but leaned in closer anyways, like she was about to kiss me.
Danny said, "Carmilla loves you and only you. She is actually heart broken, which I thought she was incapable of. I do regret allowing The Dean to control me, but Carmilla had defended you until the end, even while her heart was bleeding for you.
I saw that look in her eyes when you came into the room talking about something trivial that the library did to you. I held onto her tightly and as she struggled, all she could think about was your safety."
~*Carmilla*~
Something inside of me had snapped in me when I saw Danny lean in closer to Laura.
Did she really have the audacity to try to kiss Laura while knowing fully well that I could see everything?
I stepped out of the shadows, gripped tightly onto Danny's shoulder, who was surprised by it.
I used most of my strength to throw her against the wall and heard her body hit it pretty hard.
I didn't care if it caused damage to the apartment because I wouldn't let Danny take advantage of Laura in this state.
"Carmilla, what the hell?!"
Danny stood up and dusted herself off like nothing.
"I was wondering when you would step in, Fang Face."
"You had no right to do this to Laura!"
"Carm, she wasn't doing anything to me!"
"But..but I saw you two…"
"She was giving me advice on how to fix what was happening between us. Yeah, I brought her back here, but it was because the coffee shop was too noisy."
"Then why was Danny so damn close to you just a few seconds ago?"
"It was mainly to get a rise out of you, but also because I wanted Laura to know just how much you still cared about her."
I didn't trust what Danny had said, but I looked at Laura for her reaction.
Laura nodded and I could see from look in her eyes that what Danny said was true.
"Now if you don't mind, I'm going home. I'm not getting in between you two. This is too angsty even for me."
I watched as Danny walked out of the apartment and yelled after her, "You better pay for this wall!"
"It wasn't my fault, so I won't pay a cent for the damage!"
As the door was shut, I shifted my focus to Laura, "Did you just use Danny to get to me to make me jealous?"
"No! I hate it when you assume things like that. I mean sure, it looked like Danny was flirting with me, but I can assure you that she wasn't! All she wanted to do was help me realize how much I still love you, even if you're such a pain in the ass."
I was honestly at a loss for words.
Laura still loved me, even after all of this?
~*Laura*~
If I could, I would totally punch Carmilla if it wouldn't have broken my hand.
It had happened once before when she was teaching me how to punch someone properly.
xxx
"Creampuff, this is a terrible idea! I'm not going to let you punch me, even if you're just "testing it out".
"Oh why not, Carm? I know that you wouldn't hurt me."
"Because it would most definitely hurt you!"
"Pfft, I doubt that."
"Laura…"
"Get ready, Carm, because I'm gonna knock you into next week!"
I had made sure that I was copying what Carmilla had showed me.
"Don't!"
The moment that my hand had come into contact with Carmilla, I heard a sickening snap.
I had been a klutz when I was younger, but I hadn't actually broken anything.
"Jeez Carm!"
"I told you not to punch me!"
I tried to be tough like Carmilla, but I started to burst into tears.
"Hey Babe, you'll be okay."
"What if it becomes deformed or something?!"
Carmilla rolled her eyes, "You'll be fine if you listen to me."
I gave a sigh of relief after Carmilla had told me exactly what to do.
xxx
My arm had been in a cast because Carmilla knew that I was a klutz and didn't want me to injure myself further.
I frowned, "Carm, this is worse than I expected! I can't read or anything!"
Carmilla chuckled, "At least it doesn't get in the way of kissing you."
I blushed, "Shut up."
~*Carmilla*~
"Why would you still love me after all that I have done to you, especially in the past?"
"The past is the past, Carm, and just because you broke my heart, it doesn't mean I stop loving you. I wish I could get that through your thick skull!"
I saw her point my finger at me, "You...you always push my buttons! You don't even clean the dishes when it's your turn to do it. Do I have to pull out my chart again?"
"God no, don't pull out that monstrosity! The first time I saw it, I had to wear sunglasses each time I read it."
"And I thought that I was the dramatic one."
I rolled my eyes, "I need to keep you away from bright colors or you'll make me blind."
~*Laura*~
It was a relief to hear that Carmilla was able to joke with me.
I didn't know how long it would last, but I didn't want it to end.
I never wanted us to end, either, but it still happened.
"Carm, what happens now?"
"I don't know, Laura."
"Does this mean you're coming back?"
I saw Carmilla pause for a second, "I can't, at least not right now."
I frowned, "Why not?"
"Because I'm not ready."
"What are you waiting for?"
"I'm waiting until I can be the person that you deserve. I can't give that to you, at least not yet."
I saw that Carmilla was thinking about choosing the next thing she said very carefully.
"Will...Will you wait for me, Laura?"
"Of course. I would wait for you, no matter how long."
"Would you wait a century?"
"I would if it didn't mean that I would, you know, die."
I regretted what I had said because when Carmilla had left, she talked about how she couldn't watch me die.
"Carm, I didn't mean to say that."
"I know, Cupcake."
"Would you ever consider turning me into a vampire?"
~*Carmilla*~
I heard Laura say to me, "Would you ever consider turning me into a vampire?"
I sighed, "Laura, I can't do that to you."
"Why not?"
"You love the sun too much, obviously. I doubt it would be appealing to you if you had to drink blood or the fact that you couldn't sleep anymore. I know how much you just love sleeping."
"Well, like my Dad said, I wouldn't want to risk getting skin cancer from being out in the sun.
I have tried blood before, remember? You made me a small shake and it actually tasted pretty good! I mean, I would have to modify it and make it healthy though.
Who needs sleep anyways? I stay up so late with you that it doesn't make much of a difference."
"This isn't some game, Laura! Once you turn, your life is over. Thankfully, you can still spend time with your Dad and friends, but you're still going to be limited. So what if you get heightened senses or are super strong? That's nothing in comparison to craving blood all the time as a newborn vampire. It took me a long time to be able to stop the cravings and wanting to make anyone that passed by me a victim. You don't know what you're asking of me."
~*Laura*~
I heard the pain in Carmilla's voice when she said, "You don't know what you're asking of me."
"But you wouldn't have to watch me die, Carm."
"Of course I would. I would have to watch you die, even if it lasts for a short period of time."
"Yeah, I know I would die, but at least I wouldn't age. We could be together for the rest of our eternal lives. I know that you wouldn't let any harm come to me."
"That's not the point, Laura."
"The point that I'm trying to make is that I can't live without you. The moment you left was when I felt myself die inside. You left and you took my heart with you. You were so selfish the way you left! You didn't give me the chance to explain myself, you just left."
"You made it clear to me that…"
"Oh shut up!
I tried to clear things up, but you didn't give me the time of day. You were so wrapped up in knowing that I was so busy at work.
Did you ever think that the reason I was so busy was because I was preparing myself to leave so I could spend my time with you?
You said it yourself that I didn't have to work, so I wanted to "retire", so to speak, from my job.
I know that every day that I lived and went to work was another day that I was losing with you.
I couldn't miss out on anymore days without you."
~*Carmilla*~
"But I thought you loved your job more than me even if you complained every day about how you hated being in a stupid little cubicle."
"Who doesn't complain about their job?
Carm, I want you, all of you.
I couldn't have that if I was stuck at a job, now could I?"
"No." I mumbled.
"Anyways, I turned in my resignation after you had left me. Danny said you were stalking me, so I'm surprised that you didn't know."
"I wasn't "stalking" you. I was just making sure that you were safe, there's a difference."
"Uh huh, sure. What was I wearing last Tuesday?"
"You were wearing a red tank top with a black blazer over it with bright blue jeans."
"See, you were totally stalking me!"
"I was memorizing what clothes you wore in case I had to make a missing person's report!"
"Hah, I know that you wouldn't allow that to happen to me."
"You're right, I wouldn't let that happen."
~*Laura*~
I was so damn proud of myself that I got Carmilla to admit that she was totally stalking me.
Okay fine, she wasn't exactly stalking, but close enough!
I grinned, "Pop Quiz time! What underwear was I wearing last Sunday?"
"Seriously? I'm not a peeping tom."
"Liar! Danny said you totally saw me."
I rolled my eyes, "I knew Danny was causing trouble."
"So? I'm waiting."
"Granny panties."
"Hey! That's not funny."
I saw Carmilla smirk, "You have bad taste in fashion unlike yours truly."
"Oh come on, Carm."
"Alright. You wore a black silk one with red lacing with a matching bra. You somehow had my name embroidered in it in a dark enough grey that it would be unnoticeable. Happy?"
"You actually noticed that?"
"I have heightened eyesight, I can see everything."
"Stalking, much."
~*Carmilla*~
"Stop changing the subject here, Laura. Do you really want to live the life of a vampire, knowing that you'll be hated by society? They might be accepting of two women together, but not of vampires.
I mean, the only "source" material that they have is from Twilight. At least Anne Rice's novels were close to being accurate. I wasn't sure if she had actually interviewed a vampire, but it wouldn't surprise me if she did.
The older a vampire is, the quicker they catch on fire in the sun. As the next generation of vampires came, the chance of burning like that had decreased. That's why when I go out in the sun, it starts like a sunburn, and then starts to blister.
If you watched Wynonna Earp and saw what happened to the Revenants that crossed the boundaries that kept them from harm, that is what would happen to me if I spent too much time in the sun."
"You would age that fast too?!"
"Yes. I don't drink blood so that I don't age though. I drink it because my body does need it. I don't necessarily need to eat human food or drink human liquids, but I do because it tastes good."
"Like I do?"
"Yes, exactly."
I saw her stand closer to me, "So...if we continued to take be "light and casual" like before all of this, would you be okay with that?"
"No."
~*Laura*~
I heard Carmilla give me a stern, "No."
"Why not?"
"Because I want to do this properly, Laura. I want us to start over. I want us to take it slow and the first thing I want to do is take you out on a first date. I don't want this to just feel like a fling like the ones I had with my study buddies in the past.
I'm not saying that you're a fling. What I'm saying is that you deserve better than that."
I saw her move closer to me until I could feel her breath on my cheek, "You and me, we'll take things slow. Just give me a week to get everything sorted out, okay? I won't allow myself to move back in until we see where we are. It wouldn't be fair to you or to me."
"Okay, Carm. Can you promise me one thing though?"
"Alright, what is it?"
"If by the time my birthday gets here and I still want you to turn me into a vampire, can you do it?"
"I will only do it if you ask me then. I hope that you'll forget about it though. Even if you're a human, you're my human, my tiny gay human. I don't want you turning into a vampire make you lose that spark that makes you, well...you."
I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I wiped my eyes. I couldn't respond to her.
She wrapped her arms around me and held me close to her. I inhaled her scent and remained as close to her as I could.
I didn't ever want this to end because I couldn't bear to lose her again.
xxx
"I might not always like the choices you make or the way that things turned out, but I think it would be infinitely more tragic if you let that stop you from trying. If you let it turn you into me."
